0:07

Welcome to unfucked your brain.

0:09

The only podcast that teaches you

0:11

how to use psychology, feminism,

0:13

and coaching to rewire your

0:15

brain and get what you want in life.

0:18

And now here's your host, Harvard

0:20

Lost Full Rad, Feminist Rockstar,

0:23

and Mask your coach, par a low

0:25

and dial. Hello,

0:28

Michigan. How are you?

0:31

It

0:31

has been raining in New York for I

0:33

don't know. Feels like seven weeks straight. That's probably

0:35

not right, but I'm a little bit like

0:38

waiting for the arc to float by. I

0:40

don't feel like I've seen the sun in several days,

0:42

so I have some thoughts and feelings about

0:44

that, but you know what? That's okay. I'm managing

0:47

my mind. I am getting over

0:49

being sick and that always makes me

0:51

feel super appreciative. of

0:54

even my baseline of health which is, you know,

0:56

solid. And just

0:59

that kind of feeling that life energy return

1:01

is such a kind of beautiful experience

1:03

really is that fifty fifty. So

1:06

I have been thinking about this podcast episode

1:08

for a while, but it

1:10

took some thinking to just kinda settle

1:12

on how I wanted to approach it. And

1:15

to be honest, that's because

1:17

the idea for it came

1:20

from

1:21

me feeling a little annoyed.

1:25

So, like, the spark of the idea,

1:27

the German of the idea was a little

1:29

bit from an unmanaged mind, but

1:32

I proceeded to imagine my mind about it and I

1:34

decided that there was something useful in here.

1:36

So I'm gonna tell you why and I'm actually gonna

1:38

ask, like, both while I'm talking about

1:40

the substance of the episode. I'm also

1:42

going to like, walk you through my process

1:45

because this is actually just a

1:47

great example of doing that work.

1:49

Right? So here's where

1:51

this started. My social media

1:53

network is made up of a lot of coaches

1:56

for

1:56

obvious reasons.

1:57

this is my professional colleagues.

1:59

I still also have my former life people from

2:01

social media. So I just kind of actually love that because

2:03

I have my social media is just like, so

2:06

diverse in terms of,

2:08

like, people's backgrounds and politics

2:10

and belief systems

2:12

and priorities. It's just like everything

2:14

from

2:15

radical anarchists to,

2:17

like, prosperity,

2:19

gospel, the secret believers.

2:21

Just, like, really the whole range

2:23

It's fascinating. So

2:25

anyway, lots of coaches and, you know, various

2:28

associated similar type work.

2:30

And in the last few months,

2:32

I feel like there's been this sort of uptick in increasing

2:35

kind of posts and complaints about

2:37

why quote unquote thought work

2:40

doesn't work for XYZ

2:42

problem. Right? Whatever it is. And, like, the

2:44

post will say something like, you

2:46

know, they're describing a problem that a

2:48

potential client might have, and then they say they're

2:50

saying, like, thought work won't work

2:52

on this. You have to process the emotion. Like, you have

2:54

to deal with this on an emotional level. Don't

2:56

try to change your thoughts. And every time

2:58

I read something like that, I'm like, well,

3:01

processing emotions is part of thought

3:03

work. Like, if you are teaching thought

3:06

work, you're teaching people

3:08

to process their emotions. and I'll get to

3:10

kind of whether that's true in a minute. Or, like,

3:12

for another example, I'll see a post that talks about

3:14

how thought work, quote unquote, can't

3:16

solve every problem. like, you shouldn't thought work

3:18

yourself into staying in a bad relationship. And

3:21

I'm sort of reading it like, yeah. I I

3:23

think we all agree on that. Like, I

3:26

don't think anybody's teaching that you

3:27

should thought work your way and to staying in an abusive

3:30

relationship.

3:30

Right? So I've been doing this little conversation

3:32

in my head every time and, like, feeling

3:34

kind of righteously irritated over it,

3:37

which we all know that that feeling

3:39

can feel good for a minute. Like, let's not lie.

3:41

the reason righteous indignation is so attractive,

3:43

sometimes is that a fucking feels good. Right? We

3:45

get like some kind of neurochemical

3:48

hit from feeling like

3:51

we are justified in our indignation

3:53

and the other person's wrong. And that may be more true

3:56

actually for I hadn't thought about this before,

3:58

but as I'm talking, I wonder if it's

3:59

more true for people who are socialized

4:02

as women or in other marginalized identities

4:04

where they're basically taught they're not allowed to be angry

4:06

and that their anger is not acceptable and

4:08

his dangerous and they're taught to supplement

4:11

their anger. So I wonder if, like, we're

4:13

even more excited to get to feel right justly

4:15

in Dignan.

4:15

Right? Because, like, anger is the a intoxicating

4:18

feeling that we don't let ourselves have a lot of the

4:20

time. So anyway, that's

4:22

a side note. But so okay.

4:24

So I'm like doing this. I'm like reading my

4:26

social media. I'm having a little right disindignation

4:28

in my brain all the time. And, you know,

4:30

but then I decided to coach myself and I

4:32

decided that being urged in

4:34

about someone else's social media is not a

4:36

good way to spend my time. And,

4:39

like, what is this really about? Why don't I even have

4:41

a feeling? Right? I read posts about

4:43

everything in the world and I just

4:45

like don't care and I don't agree with them and

4:47

I move on. So,

4:48

like, why am I kinda clitching

4:50

on this. And I

4:53

think that's just an example of a crucial

4:55

aspect of what I call thought art even

4:57

though I have not yet to find thought work on this

4:59

episode. We're gonna get there. But a crucial

5:01

aspect of, like, my body of work, my teaching

5:03

over the last Lord,

5:05

how many episodes of this podcast. Right?

5:07

Involves like getting curious about your

5:09

own emotional reactions and triggers.

5:12

Like, why is something setting you off?

5:15

and never assuming that it's

5:17

just sort of because the thing is bad.

5:19

That doesn't mean that you can't after

5:21

reflection decide that, yeah, you think the thing

5:23

is bad. Right? But it's like it

5:25

never

5:25

deserves you to be

5:26

curious about your own reaction in

5:28

my belief. So I

5:29

asked myself why I was irritated. And

5:32

then my thought was that people

5:34

were kind of using

5:35

thought work or this kind of work

5:37

as a kind of straw man. Like,

5:38

they wanted to differentiate themselves as

5:41

coaches by kind of tearing something else

5:43

down and that they're being un generous.

5:45

And

5:45

so then I looked at that thought and my own

5:47

thought.

5:47

Right? Like, I had no idea if that was

5:50

true. I had just made that up. And

5:52

when I looked at it, that was my

5:55

un generous thought. Right? So, of

5:57

course, the way the thoughts work is

5:59

that when, generally, when you think someone

6:01

else is being a thing towards you, you

6:03

are often also being that thing.

6:05

Right? You are sort of projecting and

6:08

reflecting the way you are thinking.

6:10

Because when I was thinking this way,

6:12

I was differentiating myself from them

6:14

in my mind by mentally tearing

6:16

them down. Right? So I was like,

6:18

mad that people seem to be trying to tear down

6:20

a certain kind of approach to coaching.

6:23

But then when I looked at my model in my

6:25

own mind, it was like, oh, well, I'm just trying

6:27

to tear them down. Right? Your thoughts are

6:29

always mirroring. So I

6:31

was like, okay, what else could be going on

6:33

here? Like, that's my thought

6:35

about on generous or tearing

6:37

down. And What I

6:39

realize is that I think that many people

6:41

and even some coaches may

6:44

not actually understand what thought work really

6:46

is and what it entails. And

6:48

if that's the case that's not, like, their

6:50

fault, it may be that those of us who teach

6:52

it and our leaders in the field have not

6:54

adequately explained what

6:56

it really means and that's on us.

6:59

And I do think that the term thought

7:01

work is a little misleading because

7:03

it's kind of natural to assume that

7:05

thought word means

7:07

just working with your

7:09

thoughts. And if you are gonna kind of take it to

7:11

this very literal place and be kind

7:13

of reductive about it, you might say,

7:15

it literally just means like

7:17

trying

7:17

to thought swap. That's it. just

7:20

like not doing anything with your emotions, not paying

7:22

any attention to your nervous system, values

7:24

social commissioning. Like, none of any of that. just,

7:27

like, pure somehow cognitive force

7:29

with no other considerations.

7:32

Like, you see a thought, you change the thought by

7:34

force if necessary, that's it.

7:35

So I think, like, as a

7:38

feel as an industry, we maybe have not

7:40

done the best job naming this. And

7:42

that's okay. Like, It's a

7:44

me personally soft at the whole field,

7:46

but it is a me to really explain what

7:48

I mean when I talk about thought

7:50

work. What I mean by that shorthand?

7:53

Right? And I could call it just coaching,

7:55

but to me, the term thought

7:57

work is much more capacious

7:59

than it just being about your thoughts. because

8:03

you're not a brain in a jar.

8:05

Right? And in my work and the way that

8:07

I teach it, you actually

8:09

cannot effectively change your

8:11

thinking without paying a

8:13

great deal of attention to your

8:15

body, to your somatic experience, to your

8:17

emotions in your nervous system. Right?

8:20

When I talk about thought work, I'm

8:22

not

8:22

talking about a set of tools that privilege the

8:24

mind over the body. I'm actually talking

8:26

about a set of tools that integrate the mind

8:28

and the body. Right? There's a reason

8:30

that when you join the club, the very first thing

8:32

you learn is how to process your

8:35

emotions. Right? How to

8:37

identify your feelings, how to

8:39

actually move through them

8:41

and let them fade and let them

8:43

flow. That's the first thing

8:45

you learn. Right? So why would I start a

8:47

thought work program with emotions? Because

8:49

your emotions are the

8:51

key to the whole endeavor to

8:53

everything we're doing. Your body is

8:55

the barometer that we use to

8:57

understand how your thoughts are

8:59

impacting you, how your

9:00

nervous system is reacting to this.

9:03

Right?

9:03

Your body is a crucial piece of the puzzle

9:06

and it's not one way communication.

9:08

Like your body tells you how

9:10

your thoughts are working what your

9:12

thoughts are creating in your body,

9:14

and your body is information that it

9:16

shares with your brain. And

9:18

then you have more thoughts about

9:20

the bodily sensations that you're

9:22

having. Right? So you can have a thought, it causes a

9:24

physical sensation, and then

9:26

you have thoughts about that sensation.

9:29

or you can have a nervous system response,

9:31

which is in my book,

9:33

in a way still driven by, you

9:35

know, it might not be driven by an

9:37

explicit conscious thought. but nervous system

9:39

reaction is mediated through the brain.

9:41

So the reason that we have a nervous system

9:43

reaction is that the brain

9:45

is remembering something that has

9:47

happened before and predicting that

9:49

it's gonna happen again or is thinking it

9:51

is happening again. Right?

9:52

That's mediated through your brain.

9:55

Sometimes they

9:55

feel like when people talk about the nervous system, they,

9:57

like, think that it exists without the brain.

9:59

Your brain, it's part of it. Your nerves go

10:01

to your brain. They go to your

10:03

spinal cord. Your spinal cord goes to your brain.

10:06

Right? So it's all related.

10:08

And when we

10:11

think about it as like just this bifurcated

10:14

system. We're really missing the point. Like,

10:16

thought work the way that I teach

10:18

it is very much about

10:20

integrating that mind and body experience.

10:23

It is not about ignoring

10:25

your emotions, your nervous system, your

10:28

trauma history, whatever it is. All

10:30

those things impact both

10:32

how your brain perceives

10:34

reality and interprets it. and how that

10:36

manifests in your body, through

10:38

your emotions, through your nervous system,

10:40

through the chemical releases that your brain

10:42

makes when it thinks of thought, or thinks

10:44

that it's experiencing something all over again

10:46

or whatever is happening. Wait. It's

10:48

a really complex multilayered

10:50

system. So thought

10:52

work does not ignore your

10:54

feelings, change your thoughts.

10:55

Right? And it's not there are no

10:57

real challenges in the world. It's all just thoughts. Like,

11:00

neither of those are accurate kind of

11:02

explanations of what thought work is, at

11:04

least the way that I teach it. So

11:06

the way that I teach it, thought work

11:08

is the practice of becoming aware

11:11

of how your thinking is impacting

11:14

your emotions, your actions,

11:16

and what you create in your life.

11:18

Right? And when I talk about emotions, I'm

11:20

sort of including your nervous system in

11:22

that. Remember, these are all

11:24

words that humans have made up to describe

11:26

different experiences that we have in our

11:28

bodies and different theories about what is

11:30

going on with those bodily

11:32

experiences. what is

11:34

taken as gospel today

11:36

was not what people believe two hundred years

11:38

ago, and it won't be what people believe two hundred years

11:40

from now. So you never wanna, like,

11:42

grip too tightly to any

11:44

of these frameworks. They're just

11:47

our best understanding now and

11:49

the way we talk about it now. and

11:51

we know from our research in this model

11:53

that we use now that the way

11:56

that we think about things creates our

11:58

experiences of that.

11:59

So

11:59

any framework like the framework. I'm

12:02

teaching you the nervous

12:03

system framework, the framework you learned from

12:05

systematic teachers, the framework you learned from

12:08

purely, I don't know, somebody who only works with thoughts,

12:10

like, whatever it is, it's all

12:12

just different ways of trying

12:14

to explain something that

12:16

is opaque to us about, like, what is

12:18

happening in our brains and bodies and

12:20

nervous systems and muscles and

12:22

tissues and synews and feelings and all

12:24

of it. Like, what is this human

12:26

experience that we are having? Right?

12:27

So

12:28

the way that I teach this is that

12:30

thought work is the practice of becoming

12:32

aware of how your

12:35

thinking, your brain's processing,

12:37

whatever that includes, impacts your

12:39

emotions, your nervous system, your

12:41

actions, what you create in your life. and

12:43

then working with yourself

12:44

to improve your emotional

12:46

regulation. Improve your relationship

12:49

with yourself. And yeah, change

12:51

your thinking too because every element

12:53

of that is important. And

12:55

your thoughts impact every

12:56

element of that. your

12:58

thoughts about your emotions impact

13:01

how you experience your emotions.

13:04

Right?

13:04

That's the irony to me is that like when

13:06

I see somebody saying hey,

13:08

listen. Like, this isn't about thoughts.

13:10

Here's how to think about your emotions differently.

13:12

Don't worry about your thoughts. I'm like, you're

13:14

giving them a new thought. about how

13:16

to think about their emotions.

13:18

Right? Like, it's all,

13:20

thoughts all the way down.

13:23

your thoughts about your emotions impact

13:26

how you're experiencing them

13:28

and weather and how you process them.

13:30

Your thoughts about your nervous system

13:32

responses impact your

13:34

ability to understand and regulate

13:36

your nervous system. They're not the

13:38

only thing, but they're

13:40

always involved. Right? That's

13:42

really the core for me about this

13:44

work. Is that sometimes

13:46

your thoughts are not the only thing going

13:48

on, But almost always

13:50

your thoughts are part of what is going

13:52

on. Right? Even if it's just your

13:54

thoughts about the physical

13:56

sensation, or a motion or a nervous

13:58

system response or whatever that you're

13:59

experiencing. So it's not just

14:02

all thoughts, but it's also not

14:04

just all any other one thing.

14:06

And I actually think that where a

14:08

lot of this problem kind of comes from, a

14:10

lot of the misunderstanding comes from, or

14:12

the sort of like people

14:14

digging up into camps about, like,

14:16

it's all your thoughts. It's all your nervous

14:18

system. It's all your body. It's all your blah blah

14:20

blah. Is that when we're in the

14:22

mindset of thinking that we are

14:24

broken and need to be fixed, we are

14:26

searching for the magic solution.

14:28

I talk

14:29

about this also in the podcast, no gods,

14:31

no gurus. Right? Which

14:32

is where I talk about the idea that,

14:34

like, I'm not your guru. I don't have all the

14:36

answers, and I don't want you to think that I

14:38

do. Right? When

14:40

we think we're broken and we think

14:42

we need someone to rescue us and save

14:44

us, then we are engaging in

14:46

magical thinking. and we want a

14:48

magic solution. We want one

14:50

creed above them all to explain

14:52

everything in our lives. Right?

14:54

and women, especially your people socialize as

14:57

women, people socialize in other marginalized

14:59

identities, are socialized not

15:01

to trust their

15:01

own, our own discernment

15:03

in our own authority. Right?

15:05

I have a whole podcast episode coming next

15:08

really about authority and our

15:10

own authority. So that equation means

15:12

that we're looking for the

15:14

solution, like capital t, capital

15:16

s, trademarked. We

15:18

want the black and white rule we can follow,

15:20

we want the guru who will lead us,

15:22

we want the one thing that we

15:24

can

15:24

believe in. We want there to be

15:26

one create, one simple rule to follow, so

15:28

we will always know that we are doing

15:30

it right. And then

15:32

we can finally we think we'll

15:34

finally be able to

15:35

feel safe and feel okay about

15:38

ourselves. We want one thing to be

15:40

the answer to solve all of our problems.

15:42

And I think that that's encouraged by the way that

15:44

there are these like kind of pop

15:46

psychology fans that sweep through

15:48

social media. They're like one year it's all

15:50

about boundaries. And then next year, it's

15:52

all about meditation. And then the

15:54

next year, it's all about the nervous system.

15:56

And then it's gonna be all about something

15:58

else. Right? And all of those

15:59

things are useful and important. but

16:02

none of them is the one answer.

16:04

It's

16:05

not all thoughts. It's

16:07

not all emotions. It's

16:09

not all your nervous system. It's not

16:12

all anything. Right?

16:14

What

16:14

happens is we want the next thing to

16:17

be that one solution. And

16:19

so we go all in and we pledge our

16:21

fealty and we try to solve all

16:23

of our problems and fix ourselves

16:25

using that one thing. And

16:26

then sometimes we have this sort of

16:29

initial success where actually it solves quite a few

16:31

things, but always it

16:33

hits a wall. Right? Because single

16:35

factorial system will

16:36

never solve every problem. And so

16:38

then we feel disillusioned

16:39

and we feel betrayed.

16:42

because

16:42

we believe that the one thing promised us

16:44

salvation and didn't deliver. And

16:46

to be fair, sometimes we were sold

16:48

the idea that it would. So

16:51

there is responsibility on the parts of

16:53

people who sell their services or

16:55

sell their framework as this

16:57

is

16:57

the only thing you ever need for

16:59

any problem. The

17:00

way I talk about it is this is a thing that helps with

17:02

every problem, which is very different from this is the

17:05

one thing that will solve.

17:07

So

17:07

there is responsibility on those of us who do this

17:09

work and market it on how we talk about it.

17:12

There's also responsibility for us

17:14

in wanting

17:14

to be sold that

17:17

way. Right?

17:17

It's on us as well

17:18

to use our own discernment and

17:20

to notice when we are looking

17:22

to be saved. Right?

17:24

The bottom line is we don't need to be fixed.

17:26

We were never broken. And

17:28

so here's what

17:29

I want you to understand and take

17:31

away. First, thought

17:32

work is not just about your thoughts because

17:35

your thoughts are related to your emotions, your

17:37

nervous system responses, your

17:39

circumstances, the world around us, all

17:41

of it. It's all a part of what we call thought work as

17:43

shorthand or I do. It's really like

17:45

brain body life work, but

17:47

that acronym students for Brazilian butt lift,

17:49

which is really not on brand for me, so

17:51

we can't use that acronym. But

17:53

it's all about all of it. Thought work

17:55

is about how to

17:57

be

17:57

a

17:58

more skillful

18:00

resilient

18:01

human. Right?

18:03

And one of the things

18:04

that I really I saw, actually,

18:07

hilariously, I'm so gonna forget about this, but Tom's such a good point

18:09

recently, and I wish I can remember where I

18:11

saw it. But this idea

18:13

that, like, like, right now, nervous system

18:15

regulation is the big thing that everybody's

18:17

constantly attributing everything

18:19

to. but you can see even in the way that it's deployed,

18:21

that some people are using it

18:23

as this perfectionistic way to get

18:26

fixed. as though the goal is to have a perfectly regulated

18:28

nervous system that never ever,

18:31

like, varies

18:31

or goes into fight a fight or goes into freeze

18:33

or goes into fight whatever.

18:35

Right? This idea that, like, oh, there

18:37

is this promised land where if

18:39

I can perfectly regulate my nervous system, I'll never

18:41

have to have negative emotion. So

18:43

I'm adding that negative emotion. What I saw was this idea of, like, the

18:45

goal isn't a perfectly regulated nervous

18:48

system. But what I take from that and and

18:50

what I think

18:52

is so powerful as like the

18:54

way of seeing that, this belief that we

18:56

should be

18:56

we should always have stable

18:59

emotions. or we should always have stable nervous system. We should

19:01

always feel regulated. That's

19:03

actually just another perfectionist fantasy

19:05

of like trying to fix ourselves

19:07

to avoid ever feeling

19:09

uncomfortable. Part of life

19:12

is having negative emotion. Part

19:14

of life is having your nervous

19:16

system activate sometimes. Right?

19:18

Some degree of

19:20

dysregulation, of negative

19:23

emotion, of whatever, you know, it depends

19:25

who defined dysregulation. Like, I don't think

19:26

that we all have to be constantly dysregulated

19:29

because we've, you know, experienced trauma and never

19:31

done any work to heal. Like, that's not what I

19:34

mean. But some degree of negative

19:36

emotion is normal. That's why we say life is

19:38

fifty fifty. Some degree

19:41

of your

19:41

nervous system getting activated or shutting down and then

19:43

coming back to normal, like that up down back

19:45

to normal is normal some degree

19:47

of it. Like, The goal is

19:49

not to feel calm and perfect

19:52

all the time. It's to be more

19:54

resilient so you can bounce back better and not

19:56

get stuck. Right? it

19:58

Second thing is that thought does not solve

19:59

every problem on its own. But

20:02

I do believe that there is

20:04

no problem that thought work doesn't

20:06

help. Because if you are a human

20:08

with a brain, then you have thoughts

20:10

about every problem in your life. There's

20:12

no such thing as a problem in your life that

20:14

you don't then have a thought about.

20:17

Even if it's a body somatic nervous system,

20:19

whatever based thing, your

20:21

cognition is observing it and

20:23

narrating about it. In

20:26

fact, the whole reason you know something's a problem

20:28

and you wanna solve it is that you had a

20:30

thought about it. Right?

20:33

You saw it analyzed it

20:36

and decided that you wanted to change

20:38

it. That's a thought. So

20:40

bringing awareness and intention to how you

20:43

are thinking about a problem in your

20:45

life, a thought pattern in your mind,

20:47

a somatic experience in your

20:49

body, that's thought work, and that is

20:51

always a good idea. Right? This is why I

20:53

say thought work is a

20:54

tool you always need. It just

20:56

isn't always the

20:57

only tool you need.

20:59

Right?

21:00

So let's say that again, thought work

21:02

is

21:02

always a tool that you need to break to

21:04

bear on any problem. It's just not always

21:06

the only tool.

21:08

I

21:08

will never solve you the idea that changing

21:11

your thoughts will

21:13

solve every single problem on its own without

21:15

paying any attention to anything else. Right?

21:17

You do have to consider

21:19

your emotions, consider your nervous system,

21:21

consider your circumstances like

21:23

life is complex and multifactorial.

21:25

but I will tell you from the bottom of my heart

21:28

and my deepest belief is

21:30

that changing your thoughts is part of solving

21:33

any problem. Even if it's changing your

21:35

thought from, I should be able to change this with my

21:37

thoughts too. Maybe I need to

21:39

also use

21:39

another tool or get some additional help.

21:41

That's a

21:42

thought. It is thoughts all the way down.

21:45

Nothing in your life is not

21:47

improved by bringing intentionality

21:49

and self compassion to

21:52

your thought process.

21:53

That's what it

21:54

means to use thought

21:57

work intentionally in

21:59

your life. All of

21:59

the work that I

21:59

do is about teaching

22:02

you how to feel empowered

22:05

and feel

22:06

able to

22:07

navigate this human experience

22:10

more skillfully,

22:11

more effectively,

22:13

and with a better relationship

22:16

with yourself

22:16

And I think that that is something that

22:18

people socialize as women struggle

22:21

with because we

22:23

are

22:23

just not taught that that's

22:25

important. Right? We are to care about

22:27

what other people think and respect

22:29

other people's opinions and believe other

22:31

people's expertise and not

22:34

our own. And that

22:35

is why

22:37

helping people socialize as women

22:39

claim their authority

22:41

in their own experience

22:43

and use these tools

22:45

to create the experience they want is

22:47

my work in

22:48

this world is so important to me.

22:50

And I want

22:51

you to experience what that's

22:54

like. I want you to know what

22:56

it's like to believe

22:58

in your own capacity to make decisions,

23:00

to come up with ideas,

23:02

to trust yourself, to trust your

23:05

discernment, to be an

23:07

authority in your own life.

23:09

I am so passionate about that, and

23:10

I actually have created a

23:13

whole new five day challenge that

23:15

is all

23:15

about this because that's

23:18

how,

23:18

like, close to my heart and crucial

23:21

this is. So if you know

23:22

that you could use some of that, if this is

23:24

resonating with you, that I want to invite you

23:26

to join me in the claim your

23:29

authority challenge. I

23:31

did think about naming this challenge,

23:32

the stop giving a fuck what other

23:34

people think challenge, but it's very

23:36

hard to link things on Facebook to

23:39

websites with curse

23:39

words. We have this problem all the time

23:41

with my website name. So

23:43

the Claim Your Authority AKA stopped

23:46

giving a fuck what other people think.

23:47

challenge. This is

23:50

a five day challenge that I am

23:52

hosting live every

23:54

day. It's October twenty fourth to

23:56

twenty eighth. twenty twenty two, so

23:58

it's coming up soon. I am

24:00

going to do a live training every

24:02

day where I am either teaching

24:04

you a tool, a

24:06

concept, and a technique that you can use.

24:08

So

24:08

the way that I structure my training

24:10

is that I always teach you to understand

24:12

what's going on. and then I give

24:14

you something to practice to help change it. And

24:17

you can start to see change right away in

24:19

the very day that you're practicing.

24:21

And so we're gonna be doing that. We're

24:23

gonna be doing some live coaching on claiming

24:27

your authority on the places in our

24:29

lives that we are people pleasing

24:31

or health sourcing our authority. We are gonna

24:33

be on the first day. We're gonna be talking

24:35

about people pleasing. Why we do that

24:37

and how to stop? The second

24:39

day, we're gonna be talking about validation seeking,

24:41

why we do that, why we look for validation

24:43

outside of ourselves, and how to

24:45

stop doing that. Day three, we're

24:47

gonna be talking about abandoning our own authority,

24:49

right, why we don't

24:51

wanna make decisions, don't believe we can trust

24:53

ourselves, how to start cleaning that

24:55

authority in our own lives,

24:58

day four, we're gonna do some live coaching, and day

25:00

five, you're gonna be able to attend the Claim

25:02

Your Authority Master Class, where

25:04

I dive deep into

25:05

the subconscious reasons

25:07

that we are afraid to claim our authority and

25:09

the ways our brains will sabotage us as

25:11

we try to do this work.

25:13

So there's going to be all

25:16

that training and teaching and coaching. There's

25:18

gonna be opportunities to ask me

25:20

questions. There's gonna be an amazing pop up

25:22

Facebook community. there,

25:24

my clutch coaches will be in there, our amazing

25:26

community manager will be in there. Last

25:28

time we ran a challenge, we did a burnout

25:30

challenge in the spring. And these

25:33

challenges, I only do them twice a year

25:35

because they're so incredible

25:37

and intensive. We had more than two

25:39

thousand women participate last time, which

25:41

was amazing. and I just wanna read

25:43

you a few of the comments that

25:45

they left in the Facebook group just

25:47

about that challenge. This is

25:49

what our challenges are like.

25:51

It's really is kind of incredible, like, how

25:53

much a rain can change in only a

25:55

few days. So one of our students left

25:57

a comment on a post in the Facebook group

25:59

for the last challenge

25:59

that Last night, my husband

26:02

spontaneously came up to me with a hug and

26:04

said, this

26:04

positive thought stuff seems

26:06

to really be making you feel better.

26:09

The beauty of course is that I'm doing it a hundred

26:11

percent for myself and not for anyone

26:13

else, yet I'm already able to

26:15

show up much more fully for the

26:17

people of my life I really care

26:19

about. That is the

26:20

kind of change you can see in

26:22

just a few days.

26:24

That was my student at My student Gene said,

26:26

if you're tired of feeling powerless to

26:28

affect your situation and sick of

26:30

constantly feeling overwhelmed, is

26:33

the way forward from exactly where you

26:35

are. This is

26:36

such a I love this example she gave.

26:38

For

26:38

less than the cost of a fast food takeout meal

26:40

for a family of four, I

26:42

feel calmer and more able to be present for the people

26:44

I love.

26:45

Right? Humans have this bias

26:48

where we overestimate

26:50

what we can get done, like, in

26:52

a short period of time. Like, in the next hour, I'm

26:54

gonna do these twelve things. Right?

26:56

But we underestimate how much we can

26:59

change in a longer period of time.

27:01

So we actually underestimate how

27:03

much it's possible to change your

27:05

thinking and your experience in just a week with focused

27:08

effort. Right? Josephine who

27:10

participated in the last challenge said, do it. You'll

27:12

think you don't have time, but it

27:14

saves time. because you're likely wasting a lot

27:16

of time and energy and unnecessary

27:18

suffering. I adored the whole thing,

27:20

particularly live coaching. I

27:22

watched just through the replays as I

27:24

live live in Australia and it didn't detract

27:26

from the experience at all. So wherever you

27:28

are in the world, you can join the

27:30

claim your authority challenge You

27:32

don't have to be in America, you don't have to be on these coasts, you

27:34

can be anywhere in the world, and you'll

27:36

have access to the live stuff and

27:39

the replays. Right? One

27:41

of people participated in the last challenge

27:43

said, this has been an amazing week for

27:45

me, from the girl who passed out fifteen

27:47

minutes in the first because

27:49

I was so tired and brud out and

27:51

grumpy and depressed to feeling like

27:53

I'm really flourishing my life all in

27:55

a week. So if you

27:56

want some of that,

27:58

then

27:58

I want you to come sign

27:59

up for the claim your own authority

28:01

challenge. So here's the thing. If you're in the

28:04

clutch, don't register. You get

28:06

it for free. Okay? If you're

28:07

in the clutch, don't register, don't

28:09

pay for it, you get it for free.

28:11

If you're not in the clutch and you may want to

28:13

join, should come join this challenge

28:15

because we're opening the clutch at the

28:17

end of the challenge. But if you are

28:19

in the challenge, you can join in the beginning.

28:21

So we're gonna be opening the clutch later this

28:23

month. But if you're in the challenge, you'll get a chance

28:26

to

28:26

join the clutch right away.

28:28

And if you don't know what the clutches, don't worry

28:30

about it. Come join the challenge. get

28:32

your first taste of proactive thought

28:34

work, proactive intentional

28:36

mind buddy life work. Let's

28:38

blow your mind together. I cannot

28:40

wait. So showing the claim your

28:42

authority challenge, you can text your email

28:44

to plus 13479971784

28:50

That's plus 13479971784

28:56

The code word is just the letter,

28:58

CYA like claim your

29:01

authority,

29:01

or if you're a bro, cover your

29:03

ass.

29:03

But code word, CYA or

29:06

you can go to unfuck your brain dot com

29:08

forward slash CYA. Text

29:10

your email to plus 13479971784

29:17

cohort CYA. or unfuck your brain dot com forward

29:19

slash CYA Come

29:21

join us. Let's claim that

29:23

authority and learn to use these

29:25

tools

29:25

to create an incredible life. I'll

29:27

see you there.