0:42

Oh, hi there, thanks

0:42

for stopping by and popping into

0:46

check out the show today is

0:46

going to be a little bit of a

0:49

shorter episode. And I wanted to

0:49

address this particular topic,

0:56

because I've been hearing it a

0:56

lot lately. So I just wanted to

1:01

say a few words on this because

1:01

every time I see this particular

1:06

thing on social media, or

1:06

whatever, I have the same

1:09

reaction. And I thought, Well,

1:09

hey, this is something I could

1:11

talk about on infringed and

1:11

maybe get some feedback from you

1:14

guys, and do just get a

1:14

conversation going. So I have

1:20

seen a ton of posts on social

1:20

media, have had conversations

1:24

and overheard conversations and

1:24

things over the years. There are

1:28

a lot of people who seem to

1:28

share this, this mindset, this

1:33

behavior of kind of announcing

1:33

their strength, I guess, by not

1:41

allowing anyone to kind of get

1:41

one over on them, or by pointing

1:44

out that their attitude depends

1:44

on other people's attitudes, my

1:48

attitude depends on you, kind of

1:48

thing. You know, if you act like

1:52

a dick, I'm going to be a dick.

1:52

Oh, I mean, that's what they're

1:56

saying. And there's memes galore

1:56

on social media. And I, every

2:00

time I see a meme like this on

2:00

social media, there is

2:04

inevitably a thread of like

2:04

minded individuals applauding

2:11

and cheering each other on as if

2:11

this is some kind of empowering

2:15

statement to be applauded and

2:15

proud of, and celebrate it. But

2:21

really, putting your state of

2:21

mind in the hands of other

2:26

people is quite literally, in my

2:26

opinion, the most disempowering

2:31

choice you can make. Let alone

2:31

the fact that there's no way you

2:35

could possibly really know what

2:35

someone else's attitude is,

2:38

unless they tell you, you can

2:38

only guess really and make

2:41

assumptions. When you say my

2:41

attitude depends on you. What

2:47

this statement actually means is

2:47

this. It means I feel

2:53

disrespected or hurt by your

2:53

words or your behavior. So I

2:58

choose to put up emotional

2:58

barricades to protect myself

3:01

because I've not yet learned how

3:01

to maturely and effectively deal

3:04

with these emotions. That's

3:04

really what it means. And

3:07

lashing out against someone that

3:07

you feel is behaving in a way

3:11

that is uncomfortable or

3:11

frustrating, or that triggers

3:14

you in some way is really

3:14

handing over your power to

3:20

someone you already assume is

3:20

not operating at a level equal

3:25

to yours. Right? I mean, how

3:25

ridiculous is that? When you

3:29

think about it, that's not

3:29

strength, that's not being a

3:33

badass. That's the behavior of a

3:33

child who grew up and never

3:37

learned. It's the mindset of

3:37

someone who doesn't feel

3:41

completely at ease within their

3:41

own skin. It's an eye for an

3:45

eye, it's reducing yourself to

3:45

meet someone where they are, you

3:48

know, tricking to their level.

3:48

But you can just as easily

3:52

choose to maintain a calm and

3:52

kind attitude without judgment,

3:57

and demonstrate what treating

3:57

others with compassion, and an

4:00

open mind looks like. It feels

4:00

much better for you and for

4:05

everyone around you. To be a

4:05

light for someone to extend a

4:10

hand to help lift them up, to

4:10

guide them through your

4:13

empowered action, to elevate

4:13

themselves rather than you

4:19

shrinking to meet them reacting

4:19

to someone's perceived bad

4:24

behavior, by behaving badly is

4:24

emotionally lazy, in my opinion,

4:31

and it uses the other person as

4:31

an excuse for that laziness.

4:35

People who are strong people who

4:35

feel empowered and who know

4:40

themselves well are not people

4:40

who say things like, my attitude

4:44

depends on you. Because someone

4:44

else's attitude has absolutely

4:48

nothing to do with you. Your

4:48

attitude has nothing to do with

4:52

me. Your actions may influence

4:52

how or if I choose to engage

4:59

with you. And my chosen response

4:59

to you will come from a place of

5:04

empowerment, of compassion and

5:04

of grace. Not an not

5:12

competition. We're not in

5:12

competition. We're all just

5:16

doing our best. And it serves us

5:16

all in a good way to remind

5:20

ourselves in each other of this

5:20

fact, often, your attitude does

5:26

not depend on other people. And

5:26

like I mentioned in Episode

5:32

Seven your outer world is a

5:32

reflection of your inner world.

5:38

So be good to yourself, be aware

5:38

and take pause

5:45

before you react, and be the

5:45

change that you want to see.

5:50

Because we are all connected and

5:50

your state of mind matters. And

5:55

if your state of mind matters,

5:55

so does everyone else's. Be the

6:00

kind of person who helps someone

6:00

feel a bit better. And if it

6:04

feels like somebody is taking

6:04

their crappy day out on you, be

6:08

there for them. You don't know

6:08

what anyone is dealing with. Not

6:12

really. It's not personal. So

6:12

don't take it that way. Don't

6:20

make someone else's pain about

6:20

you. And I don't mean you know,

6:24

be a doormat personal boundaries

6:24

are necessary and healthy. But

6:30

do your best to remember that

6:30

we've all acted in ways that

6:34

we're not proud of at some time

6:34

or another. And we all have

6:38

stuff to deal with. And none of

6:38

us are helping ourselves or

6:42

anyone else. By approaching or

6:42

responding to challenging

6:46

behavior from a place of ego.

6:46

egoic reactions are thoughtless,

6:51

and they don't contribute

6:51

anything positive to what may

6:54

already be a difficult

6:54

interaction. Choosing kindness

6:58

and understanding at best will

6:58

defuse a situation and maybe

7:03

even allow something wonderful

7:03

and unexpected to happen. And at

7:07

the very least, you might give

7:07

the other person a nudge in a

7:12

happier direction. Any way you

7:12

look at it, choosing to respond

7:16

in a positive way from a place

7:16

of confidence, and peace. And

7:22

compassion is always the better

7:22

choice. Create a win win. In any

7:29

situation. There's always an

7:29

opportunity to do that.

7:32

Sometimes that's more obvious

7:32

than others the way to go about

7:36

that, but it's always there. So,

7:36

just some food for thought. As

7:41

always, have a great week. I'll

7:41

see you here next time. Take

7:45

care. Hey, if you enjoy the

7:45

show, be sure to follow the

7:50

unfriend podcast on Instagram

7:50

and empowered humans Inc on

7:54

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7:54

connect with me personally you

7:57

can also do that Donna Marsh on

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8:01

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8:22

some of the topics I cover here

8:22

on infringed. I also post links

8:25

and resources on my website

8:25

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8:30

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8:30

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8:33

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8:37

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8:37

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