Welcome to Uninhibited, a podcast with the mission to discuss taboo, multicultural, multi-generational, and multi-layered topics that matter to women. 

Our host, Dr. Makunda Abdul Mbacke, is an Ivy-League trained OBGYN, practicing medicine in rural America. She is a mother, career professional, part of Generation X, and so much more.

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00:48 Dr. Makunda welcomes today’s guest, Anita Kopacz, a mother, writer, speaker, and a survivor of sexual molestation as a young child who is willing to share her story and journey. Anita starts the episode by sharing more about herself, her background, and her work. 

3:05 - Dr. Makunda asks Anita about how she developed the awareness of the abuse that she went through as a child, and how that realization affected her as an adult. Anita expressed that it took a long time and having her own children to fully realize the trauma of what she went through, and experienced a lot of guilt and shame from that experience.

5:25 - Anita expresses that she needed to heal herself from her trauma because it was not only negatively effecting her children, but she was also not enjoying sex, having flashbacks from her molestation, and had other negative experiences around sex.

7:11 - Dr. Makunda asks Anita who the first person was that she shared her molestation with. While in college, Anita shared her experience for the first time with her two older sisters. However, she recalls a memory of watching Oprah at a young age and fully took on the ownership and shame of her experience because of the confusing feelings that her molestation caused.

9:26 - Anita explains that she began to share her experience more with other people as she grew up. She told her mother in her late twenties, and had to navigate talking through the experience with her father when he found out through her social media. 

14:12 - Dr. Makunda inquires how the interactions began and if Anita noticed any grooming habits during the time her molestation took place. Anita explains that her abuser is in her family so there were perhaps grooming habits that she didn’t notice. While she was in training, Ainta addressed her abuser and they had a direct conversation about the experience, where he apologized to her and shared the experience of his own molestation.

19:20 - Anita and Dr. Makunda discuss how to positively influence, help, and protect their children, especially with the growing movement of allowing children to be autonomous and decide if they do or don’t want to hug or kiss family members. If a child doesn’t want to physically interact with someone, then don’t force it.

23:43 - Anita talks about her relationship with her partner and how he was included in her healing process, especially because intimacy is a critical part of how he feels love, but sex was difficult for her for a long time. They had to work through it together.

26:20 - Dr. Makunda asks Anita to share about her pathway to healing, acknowledging that healing is not linear or necessarily an easy path. Anita felt that her healing was not just for her - it was for her children and her partner too, and she felt drawn to document her journey in order to help others. She also incorporated artistic elements and body-focused trauma therapy as tools to help with her healing. 

30:50 - Dr. Makunda asks Anita about the sessions that she had with Christopher, the body trauma therapist, and Anita elaborates on how her therapy progressed. They discuss how much of healing is based in trust and addressing the physical trauma within her body slowly.

35:33 - Ainta explains how her healing progressed from therapy to the experience of having her body painted, which was intensely emotional but an important step in her healing and her process to becoming a sexual and trauma coach.

39:30 - Dr. Makunda asks how someone with less resources than Anita be able to take on their sexual trauma in a similar way. Are there programs available to these populations? Anita speaks about the Center for Safety and Change in New City, NY are able to provide call-in services and support for anyone who needs it. The Center also has a safehouse that is available for individuals located outside of New York to seek refuge at. However, in most major cities, there are local resources that are available to people suffering from trauma. 

42:18 - Dr. Makunda asks Ainta what she thinks is the most important aspect about breaking the cycle of abuse in society. Ainta credits speaking up about abuse and giving it a voice helps to call attention to the issue and stop the action. We also need to be ready to do the work of healing and working through those experiences, and people need to believe each other when we talk about this type of pain!

47:20 - To wrap up, Anita shares about the Zero F’s Given campaign that she created to bring awareness to those who have experienced sexual violence. Zero F’s day is set for June 7th where people will be brought together for performances, speakers, healing yoga, and togetherness. 80% of the proceeds from Zero F’s merch sales go towards supporting the Center for Safety and Change!

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Check out the Center for Safety and Change.

You can call their 24 hour hotline for help - 845-634-3344.

Find out more about the Zero F’s campaign and buy your Zero F’s Given Merch!

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