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The Unyoke podcast navigating the pain,

0:17

process. And possibilities after a christian

0:20

divorce, you, divorce is brutal.

0:29

I often talk about the ripple effect, which feels like a

0:32

tsunami waves on our lives post

0:35

divorce facts sometimes in managing

0:39

our crisis of our marriage, we just can't even see far down

0:43

the road. We just can't fully know all the life

0:47

changes coming our way. In today's episode, it's a

0:50

topic that you just can't really imagine when you're married.

0:54

How do you coparent? When both sexes live out of the

0:58

same house, they have broken relationships,

1:02

various parenting styles, and even sometimes

1:05

divorce decrees that affect how we are able and how

1:09

often we parent, all the while trying to raise

1:13

God fearing, mentally healthy children

1:17

in a world that wants to misproritize their hearts,

1:21

it's hard enough to parent with two on the same page,

1:24

husbands and wives. But now, sprinkling conflict

1:28

and sporadic parenting, we have a higher hill to

1:31

climb. Add anger, bitterness,

1:35

infighting, and additional players like a new

1:38

spouse or a boyfriend or a girlfriend or

1:41

influencers from the know, Aunt Sally and that lady at

1:45

your Sunday school. Now your parenting styles are no

1:49

longer moderated and morphed for the kids

1:52

sake, and you have a recipe for some challenges

1:56

for parents, but even worse, tough, inconsistent

2:00

parenting for the children. We talked in previous episodes

2:03

about the effect of divorce on children, but in this

2:07

episode it's for the next level discussion, the

2:10

coparenting angle. It's critical now. Not every

2:14

divorce is the same. Some of you are blessed to have good

2:18

moms and dads parenting your children, even though they may have

2:22

been poor spouses, right? Many of you have a

2:25

dumpster fire lifestyle happening on the other side

2:29

of marriage, and you may feel the need to carry the slack

2:33

of the other poor parent. Joint custody arrangements

2:37

can be exhausting, infuriating, and fraught with

2:41

stress, especially if you have a contentious relationship

2:45

with your ex partner. You may feel concerned about your

2:48

ex their parenting abilities. You may be stressed about

2:52

child support or other financial issues. You feel

2:55

worn down by conflict, and you think

2:59

you're never going to be able to overcome all the resentments

3:03

from your past relationship. Making shared

3:06

decisions, interacting with each other at drop offs, or

3:10

just speaking to a person that you would rather forget

3:14

all about makes it seem like an impossible

3:17

task to coparent. Well for the sake of your kid's

3:21

well being, though, it is possible for you to overcome

3:25

coparenting challenges and develop a cordial working

3:28

relationship with your ex. Hopefully some of these tips and

3:32

some lenses we're going to put on you can remain

3:35

calm, stay consistent, and resolve

3:39

conflicts to make your joint custody work

3:43

and enable your kids to thrive. Some of

3:46

you listening are all alone. Some of you have friends and family

3:50

stepping up in big ways right now. My sister

3:54

and her family, they carried a lot. They helped

3:58

love and support my children while I was in the aftermath of

4:01

dissolving my marriage. You know the part post marriage

4:05

where you just don't know who has what? Who's getting the school

4:09

supplies, who do the kids text when they're going to be home late

4:13

on Tuesday? Do we set up a joint text group from soccer practice?

4:16

Corporal does your friend hate me now? Will she be texting

4:20

me directly or you? Am I staying in the small group at

4:24

church? Do I need to quit? I wonder if I can get our mission

4:28

trip money back, that deposit? Yeah, all the

4:31

messes that killing a marriage creates

4:35

sometimes co parenting isn't just homework,

4:38

driving to practices, running to Walmart for glue and

4:42

colored pencils. It's the pillow talk, the

4:46

pondering, the game planning, the

4:49

praying. That element is often gone

4:53

post divorce. Discussing the weak

4:56

patterns in our children's behavior, their needs,

5:00

their goals, family plans, the

5:04

things good parents should be doing. As single

5:08

parents, we're not just navigating our own issues.

5:11

We should be focused on our children's needs.

5:15

But with the other parent. If we

5:19

don't get our act together, our kids get chewed out

5:22

twice for bad grades, grounded twice,

5:26

or even issues aren't even addressed at all. We assume

5:30

the other parents got it, and our kids change their behavior

5:34

per parent and we just engage with a chameleon who's

5:37

adapting to our mess. I've thought about this a

5:41

lot, how to discuss this topic. It's so hard

5:44

because the situation of each listener right now is so different.

5:48

Some of you are fresh out of a divorce, some of you are years

5:52

down the road, some have horrible relationships with your

5:55

ex, some are very cordial. Some live

5:59

literally next door to each other, and you try to have a great

6:03

coparenting relationship. Some of your exes are

6:06

remarried and the issue is not with them, but with their new spouse.

6:11

Some of you have a spouse in town who with frequent

6:14

visitations. Some live out of state, some have full

6:17

custody, some have 50 50. Some of you

6:21

rarely get to see your kids and you're bitter about it all.

6:25

Some of you have one child, some have a full house of

6:28

kids. Some have babies, some have

6:31

teenagers, some have full on adults and

6:35

a mix of all the above. We are all in

6:38

various situations, yet we have some things in common.

6:42

So let's start there. For 99% of us,

6:45

the day we birthed our children, we

6:49

never imagined that that child would have to endure a

6:53

broken home. When we dedicated our lives to raising

6:57

them in a stable, christian home, we had

7:00

no idea that we'd be doing it under two roofs. Our

7:04

promises to our kids did not die with the

7:08

paperwork of divorce, and our ex wife or ex

7:11

husband did not cease being mom or dad.

7:15

Now let me insert something for a handful of you. Some

7:19

of you have an ex straight out of the pit of

7:23

hell. The reason for your divorce may actually make

7:27

you question my last statement. Your ex literally

7:30

is a horrible, selfish human being who is a

7:34

horrible, selfish parent. And you struggle knowing

7:38

how to walk that line between letting your child have a

7:41

relationship with their mom or dad while protecting your

7:45

child's health and emotions. What a

7:48

sad, bad situation. My heart

7:52

truly breaks for you and your family. You want to see

7:55

Todd Turner cry? Let me tell you something.

7:59

I'm embarrassed, but I'll be honest. Fresh Prince of Bel

8:03

Air there's an episode. Where is it, will?

8:07

Whatever. Fresh prince. His father comes to visit

8:10

him and he's been living a life of broken

8:13

promises to him. And he comes in

8:16

and he had told him to pack and they were going a trip together and

8:20

he came in and broke it. And let me tell you, if you've seen it,

8:23

you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, go YouTube

8:27

it. It crushes my soul. And

8:31

I didn't come from divorced parents. When I see that

8:34

episode, it just makes me ball. I

8:38

think I've seen it three times and I cry all three times.

8:42

Fresh Prince dad, broken promises. It

8:45

kills me. But Uncle Phil came in and chewed the dad out

8:49

and that's the part I loved about it. There are some people like Uncle Phil

8:53

that need to step up and get people to act right.

8:56

Frankly, that's the purpose of this podcast and this

9:00

episode. I hope this episode gets shared a thousand

9:03

times and people grow. They look in the mirror at some of these

9:07

issues. So let's do a little house cleaning. If you were

9:11

forwarded this episode, don't think that your ex is aiming

9:15

at you. They too learn something and plan on making

9:18

some changes as well. This isn't about you, your

9:22

history, or tit for tat. It's about your child, your

9:26

children. This is about swallowing your pride

9:29

improving how we parent, how we treat one another.

9:33

And if you want to listen to the other episode about how to empower your

9:36

children post divorce, go do that. But for now,

9:40

let's talk about coparenting. You, and hopefully

9:44

your ex spouse, have some rules to put in place,

9:47

maybe some lenses to put on, and maybe just some

9:51

forgiveness to ask. Let's talk about some basic

9:54

rules and the landmines that go with them. The

9:58

handoff once again, some of you have kids who drive, but let's

10:01

start with the little ones dropping off and picking up

10:05

as kids prepare to leave your house for the exes, try to stay

10:09

positive and deliver them on time. Being consistently

10:13

late can create needless anxiety, and if you're always

10:17

late, then don't pretend you'll magically be on time next week.

10:21

Pick a time, hit the time, show respect to the other

10:46

person, and value their schedule. This eliminates the eye

10:50

rolls, the stress, the angry looks, and glances at the watch.

10:56

Let's take a quick break. Are you facing the

10:59

challenging crossroads of divorce? I bet you know of someone who is. Well,

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11:18

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Visit todturner.com books. Unyoked choices

11:29

because these decisions matter. Help children anticipate change. Remind kids that they'll

11:39

be leaving for the other parent's house a day or two before the visit.

11:43

Some of you don't manage your time well, and your kids pay the price.

11:46

They inherit your stress and your anxiety.

11:50

Pack in advance. Depending on their age, pack

11:54

a tools bag for them before they leave. Make sure they don't forget

11:57

anything that they're going to miss. Encourage, maybe packing

12:01

familiar items and reminders like a special stuffed

12:05

toy or a photograph or a postit note. Not

12:09

your dad's most likely going to forget a snack, so I left you in one

12:12

in here for you. That's rude. Also, drop off

12:16

don't pick up a child. It's a good idea to avoid taking

12:20

your child from the other parent, so you don't risk interrupting or

12:23

curtailing a special moment. Drop off your child at the other

12:27

parent's house. Plus, you control who comes to the

12:31

door and who's in the car with you when your child

12:34

returns. The beginning of your child's return

12:38

home can be awkward or even rocky. To help

12:42

your child adjust, keep things low key.

12:45

When children first enter your home, try to have some downtime

12:49

together. Read a book. Cook. Do some quiet

12:52

activity. In our fast paced, crazy american

12:56

society, we're generally running straight to practice or games or

12:59

recitals. I can't solve that issue, but I can say

13:03

avoid the in and out, right back out when possible.

13:07

Double up. Make packing simpler. Make kids

13:11

feel more comfortable when they visit their other parents house. Have kids keep

13:15

certain basics toothbrush, airbrush, pajamas. At both

13:18

houses, kids don't want to drag suitcases or bags to

13:22

school or practices. Don't embarrass them. They're at an age where they

13:26

worry about what everybody thinks and about standing out. Don't make them

13:30

carry luggage with them on the drop off or on days

13:33

of drop off. Allow your child space. Children

13:37

often need a little time to adjust or transition. If they seem to need

13:41

some space, do something else nearby. Don't ask for a

13:44

lowdown. Hey, what did your dad's girlfriend wear? Do you like her?

13:48

Isn't her laugh obnoxious? Don't poke. Don't

13:52

gossip. Don't make your kids belittle and

13:55

judge. It just isn't cool. Facts establish

13:59

a special routine. Play a game. Serve the same

14:03

special meal each time your kid returns. Kids

14:06

thrive on routines. If they know exactly what to expect when they

14:09

return, it can help them transition. They may enjoy knowing

14:13

that they're going to walk in the door and taco soup will always be on

14:17

the table. That helps them. Now, if there must be

14:20

information exchange, and it won't be easy, don't do it in

14:24

front of the child. Well, your daughter did something stupid. You better go talk

14:28

to her. That's not cool. So speaking of

14:32

coparenting communication methods, most issues

14:36

stem from this issue. Let's be honest. If you and

14:39

your spouse knew how to communicate, you most likely wouldn't be in this

14:43

mess. I hate to generalize, but it's just true.

14:47

Poor communication leads to problems. And if you haven't

14:50

mastered it as a husband and wife, you're not going to do

14:54

well as two divorced people. You're going to have to really

14:58

work on communication skills however you

15:01

choose to have contact. The following methods can help you

15:05

initiate and maintain effective communication.

15:08

Now, depending on your relationship, you may need to set up like a

15:12

businesslike tone. Approach the relationship with your ex like

15:16

a business partner. You know what the business is? Your child's well

15:20

being. Speak. Write to your ex as you would a

15:23

colleague. Be cordial, respect stay

15:27

neutral. Relax. Talk slowly.

15:30

Don't see them as the drunk, the asshole, the

15:34

cheater, the selfish jerk, but as the person who will

15:37

be overseeing your child for the next few hours or days.

15:41

Take your communication seriously versus bitterly

15:45

and listen. I know this is hard for some of you.

15:49

It will be. You're going to have to step up an adult

15:52

right now. Make request. Instead of making statements

15:56

which can be misinterpreted as demands, try

16:00

framing as much as you can in request. Maybe begin with hey, would

16:04

you be willing to or can we try? Or this

16:07

week, would it be possible if now listening

16:11

communicating with maturity starts with listening.

16:15

Even if you end up disagreeing with the other parent, you should at

16:19

least be able to convey to your ex that you understood their

16:22

point of view. Listening does not signify approval,

16:26

so you won't lose anything by allowing your ex to voice his or her

16:30

opinion. This sounds childish, but listen.

16:33

Don't roll your eyes. You don't have to sleep with this person ever again

16:37

the rest of your life. That's your reward. Just do

16:40

it. Show some restraint. Keep in mind that communicating

16:44

with one another is going to be necessary for the length of your

16:48

children's entire childhood, if not longer.

16:51

You can train yourself not to overreact to your ex, and

16:55

over time, you can become numb to the buttons they may try to push with

16:59

you. Commit to meeting and talking

17:02

consistently, though it may be extremely difficult

17:06

in the early stages, trust me, it is. But frequent

17:10

communication with your ex will convey the message to your children

17:13

that you are a coparent on a united

17:17

front and that you would love them enough to endure it

17:20

all. Keep your conversations kid focused.

17:24

Never let a discussion with your ex partner digress into

17:28

conversations about your needs or their needs. It should

17:32

always be about the child's needs. Don't talk about oh

17:36

so hard to get here on time today. I remember thinking,

17:40

well, you made us in this situation, so I don't really give a cred what

17:43

kind of day you had. And your ex may feel the same. Just

17:47

keep it about the kids. Don't talk about yourself. It leads to

17:51

poking the bear now. Quickly relieve

17:54

stress in the moment. If you're in a situation and it's just stressful,

17:58

it may feel impossible to stay calm when

18:02

dealing with your ex spouse who's hurt you in the past, or they have a

18:06

knack for pushing your buttons. But

18:09

internally, quote that Bible verse you memorize. Think

18:13

of your kid walking the stage at graduation. Think of the

18:16

healthy adult you are raising. Think of the giant glass of

18:20

lemonade and the juice will be worth a squeeze. You

18:24

can do this making important decisions as

18:27

coparents major decisions need to be made by

18:30

you and your ex. Being open, honest, and

18:34

straightforward about important issues is

18:37

crucial to both your relationship with your ex and your

18:41

children's well being. Medical needs whether

18:44

you decide to designate one parent to

18:48

communicate primarily with your healthcare professionals or attend

18:51

the medical appointments, maybe together. Just keep each other in

18:55

the loop. Education be easy on your teachers. Be sure to

18:59

let the school know about changes in your child's living situation.

19:03

Speak with your ex ahead of time about schedules,

19:07

extracurricular activities, parent teacher conferences.

19:10

Be polite to each other at school and sporting events

19:14

and financial issues. The cost of maintaining two separate

19:18

households can strain your attempts to be

19:21

effective coparents. Set a realistic budget and keep

19:25

accurate records for shared expenses. Be

19:28

gracious if your ex provides opportunities for your children

19:32

that you cannot provide. College savings

19:36

not addressed in the degree figure it out. Let me

19:40

pause for a moment and say something very, very important.

19:43

This may only be for a handful of you, but you will

19:47

need to hear it. Some of you got lucky,

19:50

blessed. However you want to look at it, I know some.

19:54

It's normally women who stepped up extra when the

19:58

divorce agreements were vague. They poured

20:02

in extra money. They worked extra. They

20:05

bought dresses for dances. They bought that car. They

20:09

took your child on vacation. They step up and

20:13

invested in your child. You bought a

20:17

boat, you drive a cool truck, and you have a lot of

20:20

money in savings. And you're still splitting hairs

20:24

and taking advantage of an agreement that was made

20:28

in a hot dumpster fire moment. I'm not saying

20:32

cut a check, although some of you should. But maybe

20:35

loosen up. Maybe offer to step up in some

20:38

areas. Maybe offer to help pay for that little thing that popped

20:42

up. Braces, mission trips, birthday

20:46

parties, weddings. You know. You know the thing you can help

20:49

with? Do it. Do it for your kid. Now, if

20:53

you're worried about how your ex is going to spend the money, navigate

20:57

that. But step up. Our God is a God

21:01

of justice. I have two tattoos on my body.

21:04

They're from my favorite bible verse, Micah 68. My

21:08

left arm says, seek justice. God doesn't

21:12

care about that sheet of paper. If you're able, and your

21:15

child and your ex spouse could use

21:19

relief or even back acknowledgment,

21:23

do the right thing. Step up. Your kids

21:27

are watching. Sometimes we don't see the fruits

21:30

of the labor till much later. Make it a priority

21:34

to develop an amical relationship with your ex spouse

21:38

as soon as possible. Watching you be friendly can

21:41

reassure children and teach problem solving skills

21:45

as well. Children who see their parents continuing to work

21:49

together are more likely to learn how to effectively

21:52

and peacefully solve problems themselves.

21:56

Okay, do not do these things. Refrain

22:00

from talking to your children about the detail of another parent's

22:03

behavior. It's the oldest rule in the book. If you don't have anything

22:07

nice to say, don't say anything at all. Never

22:11

argue in front of your children, whether it's in person or over the phone.

22:15

Ask your ex to talk another time. Drop the conversation

22:19

altogether. Children exposed to conflict

22:22

between coparents are more likely to develop issues such as

22:26

depression, anxiety, ADHD,

22:30

separate feelings from behavior. It's

22:34

okay to be hurt and angry, but your feelings don't have to

22:37

dictate your behavior. Instead, let what's best

22:41

for your kids, you, working cooperatively with the other

22:45

parent, motivate your actions. Get your feelings

22:48

out somewhere else. Never vent to your child.

22:52

Friends, therapists, even a pet. They

22:56

can all make good listeners when you feel like you need to get the negative

22:59

feelings off your chest. Exercise also provides a

23:03

healthy outlet, letting off steam, pun intended.

23:07

Stay kid focused. If you feel angry or resentful, try

23:11

to remember why you need to act with purpose and grace.

23:14

Your child's best interests are at stake. If your

23:18

anger feels overwhelming, look at a photograph of your

23:22

child. Maybe calm down. Here is

23:25

your coparenting list with some good

23:28

coparenting rules to consider. Put your child's well being first. Always

23:35

prioritize your child's physical and emotional well beings

23:39

in all decisions and interactions. Their needs should come

23:43

before any personal conflict. Issues between

23:45

coparents maintain open communication.

23:49

Foster open and respectful communication with the co

23:53

parent. Keep each other informed about events,

23:56

school health concerns, any issues related to your

23:59

child. Number three, be flexible and lonely.

24:03

Compromise recognize that flexibility is essential in

24:06

coparenting. Be willing to accommodate each other's

24:10

schedules and be open to making compromises when

24:13

necessary. And four, respect each other's parenting

24:17

style. Accept that you and your coparent may have different

24:21

parenting approaches and now that you're out of the house, oh, they're

24:24

really going to show up because you used to be able to talk and argue

24:28

in bed about it, and now they're doing what they want and you're doing what

24:31

you want. As long as there's no harm to the

24:34

child. Respect each other's choices and avoid criticizing each

24:38

other's parenting in front of the child. And five,

24:41

create consistent rules and routines. Strive to

24:45

maintain routines between both households. This

24:48

provides stability and a sense of security for the child. Six,

24:52

we've talked about this. Be punctual and reliable

24:56

drop offs pickups visitation times. Reliability

25:00

demonstrates to your child that they can trust both parents to be there for

25:04

them and seven, avoid negative communication.

25:08

Refrain from using negative or derogatory language about the

25:11

coparent in front of the child. Negative comments can harm a

25:15

child's self esteem and create unnecessary

25:18

distress. Eight, resolve

25:22

disagreements privately. If conflicts arise,

25:26

discuss them privately with the coparent. Avoid arguing or

25:29

discussing sensitive matters in front of the children

25:33

and nine, encourage a relationship with the

25:37

other parent. Support and encourage your child's relationship

25:40

with their mom or their dad. Never try to alienate or

25:44

undermine a bond between a child and a parent.

25:48

This is tough. Attend important events together

25:52

whenever impossible. Attend milestones together as

25:56

parents. This shows a united front and reinforces your child's sense

25:59

of family. How great would it be to go to an event? Not have

26:03

to worry about your parents fighting? Do you know they're going to get along? It's

26:07

not awkward. Eleven, be willing to seek

26:10

mediation if it needs to happen. If a major

26:14

conflict arises and your communication breaks down, be open

26:17

to mediation through your church or professional help,

26:21

please. Twelve, share information

26:25

about the child. Share information about his life, school,

26:29

extracurricular activities, health updates. Once again, both

26:32

parents should be involved and informed. 13

26:36

respect visitation arrangements. Stick to your agreed

26:40

schedules. Give advance notice if adjustments are needed.

26:44

This is the one that causes a lot of arguments with the last minute

26:48

phone calls or oh, I forgot, I didn't know it was

26:51

my week. That just creates so many problems. Don't be guilty

26:55

of that. 14 keep legal agreements.

26:59

Abide by any agreements and court orders related to your custody

27:03

or visitations. They're in place for a

27:06

reason. 15 be patient and

27:10

forgiving. Coparenting, obviously is a giant

27:13

challenge. And guess what? Your ex is going to make

27:17

mistakes, and so are you.

27:20

Give grace and take grace for the sake of

27:24

your child. Remember, effective

27:27

coparenting requires an ongoing effort and

27:30

cooperation. When coparents work together with their child's

27:34

best interest and heart, it leads to a healthier, more stable

27:38

upbringing for the child post divorce.

27:42

Here's the truth. Time heals a lot of wounds. As

27:46

you get further from the trauma of your divorce, the more

27:49

you're going to be able to be cordial with your ex. Now, there's not a

27:53

blanket rule here. Some of your exes burn down the

27:57

house and the bridge in the hope of any reconciliation

28:00

or even common courtesy. They may still

28:04

be acting a fool, making poor life choices,

28:07

poking at you every step of the way. Turn the

28:11

other cheek when possible, stand firm

28:15

when needed, and try this. I'm being

28:18

sarcastic here. When all else fails,

28:21

pray. Be honest. Have you lifted your

28:25

ex in prayer in a while? Not for reconciliation,

28:29

not for God to pour their blessings on them, but for a good

28:33

parenting relationship to get along in

28:36

unity on raising a christlike child.

28:40

Some of you do not know how to pray for your ex. And let's

28:44

be very frank, it is hard. It is hard when there

28:48

is the bitterness that is going on or,

28:51

and this happened with me. So I know 100%

28:55

this is true. And that is in order to sleep at night, in

28:59

order to get through the trauma, we sometimes have to just say,

29:03

this is the way something is. This person is wired this way.

29:06

This is what happened. This is who they are. And in order

29:10

for us to make it make sense,

29:14

we just have to make some assumptions. And they may not even be true,

29:18

but they help us sleep at night and it's dangerous

29:21

because the person probably is not exactly who it is that

29:25

you're saying they are. Just because somebody was a jerk doesn't mean they

29:28

are a jerk. Just because somebody betrayed you doesn't mean they're a

29:32

betrayed er. But sometimes we have to

29:35

just make it make sense. But when we

29:39

remember, and hopefully you were equally yoked and your

29:43

ex was a believer and is a

29:46

believer, not was, is a believer,

29:50

then we have to see them the way God sees them. And they may

29:54

have messed up and they may still be messing up, but God

29:58

still loves them. God can use them and they're still the parent of

30:01

your children. That person hopefully

30:05

loves your child. So we need to pray for them with a different lens

30:09

on. If you need help, let's give it a shot right here. Pray something like

30:12

this. Heavenly Father, Lord, you are good.

30:17

You are mighty, you are powerful, you are awesome.

30:21

We thank you for loving us when we don't deserve

30:24

it. We thank you for pouring grace

30:28

on us when we fail over and over

30:32

and over again. And, Lord, as we

30:35

sit here, I want to lift up my ex spouse, the

30:39

parent of my children. Lord, I want you to

30:44

heal where you can heal. Pour

30:47

into in a way that gets attention, Lord,

30:51

whether, however that is, Lord, we just ask that you

30:55

show yourself to be real and mighty, that no matter what they're going

30:59

through, they put you first, your

31:02

principles, your rules. Be

31:06

kingdom minded in all that they do. Lord, we ask them

31:09

to put a lens on of you, of Christ,

31:13

when they engage with our children,

31:17

when they discipline, when they role model, Lord,

31:21

may Christ be the center of all, all

31:24

the activities, all the thoughts and all the

31:27

conversations around my children with my ex

31:31

when I'm not around. Lord, I just ask you to pour grace

31:35

on situations that we cannot even forecast. Lord, we

31:39

rely on you and your infinite

31:43

perfect will and your power, Lord, to just

31:46

intervene when we can't be strong where we are

31:50

weak. Lord, I lift up my ex. I know that

31:54

you love them, and I just ask all this in your son's name.

31:57

Amen. Something like that. Something

32:01

that may be really, really hard for you. And

32:05

who knows, who knows what God can do with that? But you're praying

32:09

for the parent of your child. That's

32:12

worth praying for all of I have said today the best

32:16

advice, the Trump card you need above all

32:20

else, is pray to our father above.

32:23

It's just true. Prayer is the

32:26

only way that I got through any of my mess.

32:30

It's not because I'm smart. It's not because I know anything anybody

32:34

else knows. It's the power of prayer and the power of

32:37

community and working with my ex to raise my

32:41

kids to the best of our ability. Thank you for joining

32:45

us today on the Unyoke podcast. Remember, you're not alone on

32:49

this journey. Together we can help raise our children,

32:52

heal, and thrive post divorce. If you found

32:56

value in this episode, don't forget to subscribe and to share it with

33:00

others who might benefit from this important discussion. Maybe your

33:03

ex. Join us next time for more empowering conversations

33:07

on unyoked. Thank you for listening to the Unyoked podcast with me, Todd

33:23

Turner. This was originally planned to be a limited 17

33:26

episode podcast, navigating the major milestones after the

33:30

divorce. Well, the feedback and needs were too great, and now

33:34

I'm going to dive deeper into each episode. But with a

33:37

female cohost, we are excited to help further the conversations

33:41

into divorce recovery and gaining healthy single legs

33:45

as a Christian. But would you do us a favor as we prepare our

33:49

topics and episodes? Please go to

33:51

toddturner.com contact and give us

33:55

feedback on the podcast specific episodes topics

33:58

you wish were addressed. We would love to hear from you. Then

34:02

after that, please rate and review this podcast. You might

34:06

not know how important that is to help grow the popularity and the

34:10

reach of this resource for thousands of people who need it

34:14

and don't. Even know it exists. Rate, subscribe

34:18

share all of it. But let's start with go to

34:21

toddturner.com contact and let me hear from

34:24

you. I read every single email that comes in blessing.