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[inaudible]

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Hello and welcome back to another episode of Up

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in Flames. I'm your host,

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but more importantly, your advocate Abby

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Bolt. When the

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most dangerous part of your job isn't

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fighting fire, you know you've got

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a problem. Fighting fire

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was actually the easiest part of my career

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thus far. Even repelling

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out of helicopters, digging line on the side

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of a mountain. All that didn't compare

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to the stress and trauma that happens

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within a toxic work environment. From all

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the people I've talked to in the last few years and

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everything I've researched in the stories that have been

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sent to me from employees across

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the country who are struggling in their own

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place of work, not just on

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the mountain but then the office. I

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can say with a lot of certainty that

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the injuries, even though they may be

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hidden or quite higher

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than the physical injuries that occur on the job,

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mental health is no joke.

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I can't help but wonder how

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many people we've actually lost. Assuming

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it was because of something else and

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not a toxic work environment. I

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know for me, I felt a lot of stress

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in my life and of course I had some difficult things happen.

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I dealt with a divorce, a custody battle,

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my mom's cancer. However

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it was walking into the workplace. That

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was the hardest thing. I

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could walk into a hospital room where my mom

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was struggling. Handle the nurses

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and doctors, bad news, good news, difficult

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decisions. I can

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handle being on a fire, trying to save homes,

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seeing pets lost, livestock scorched! All

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that wasn't as difficult as the anxiety and

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stress that can be applied

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when you're trying to thrive in a toxic environment.

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What's really scary is there are people

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in the workplace who are literally

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injuring. If not, I

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hate to see it, killing their

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peers without realizing it. It

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comes down to basic human behavior. I

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don't have to have a psychology degree to realize

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the nuances that occur in the workplace

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that rip people apart. Whenever

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I go volunteer at my son's school, I

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can see the exact same thing on their playground

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that's happening and workplaces across the country.

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I see the cliques formed. The little kids

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choosing who to hang out with. Blocking the other

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ones from playing games with them. Pushing each other

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out of the way of the swing set. Getting frustrated

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when they don't get their way. Showing their frustration

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to their friends. Picking on each other,

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making fun, teasing. All

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those typical schoolyard behaviors

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smacked right in the middle of adult workplaces.

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Now imagine your schoolyard bully. Let's

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say his name is Billy. He's horrible at you. He

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just makes you feel bad every day in some way

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that you can't quite explain. He

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makes the other kids laugh at you. He teases,

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talks behind your back. Snickers under his breath.

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Tries to exert power over you. Maybe

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tells you, "You can't get on the swings.

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Those monkey bars are mine". He

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makes fun of your shirt. Tell some

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of your best friends what a loser you are. Goes

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to the teacher to tattle on you for things you

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never did, just so that he can

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exert some sort of control. Billy's

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rotten. Billy doesn't care about you.

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He's a bully and he could care less

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about how he's harming your personal life and

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take that same kid, Billy. All

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grown up now he's Bill. He's

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gone through college, been successful, played

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sports, got a degree, got married, had some

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kids. He probably had a pretty good life.

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But did he ever shake that bully tendency?

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Now put him in an adult workplace. Imagine

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that Billy is now your boss. Do

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you think that behavior is really changed that much?

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Or has it simply grown?

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Billy knew how to be a manipulator way

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back in grade school. Those

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manipulative tendencies have only

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grown throughout the years and gotten smarter

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along with Billy. Just like he laughed

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at the stupid quizzes and work they had to do

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in class. He blows off the harassment

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training. Or the series discussions

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about how to treat his peers, subordinates

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and supervisors. Just like

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in the classroom, Billy would show up to

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the teacher. Wanting her to like him

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more than the rest. He would talk bad

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about the other kids, maybe tattle

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on them when they weren't listening. Or

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maybe tattle on them to the teacher when

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they weren't watching. Just to get her to like him a

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little more than the rest. He figured if he

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could get to the teacher and get her

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to think they were being bad kids, it

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would get them in a better light and his failures would be more

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acceptable. Why do you think

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that Billy would be any different now that he's

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all grown up and named Bill? Some

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people grow out of it. Some people

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grow into it because of their own lack of

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confidence. But when we try to

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pretend like these things aren't happening

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in the adult workplaces , we are kidding ourselves.

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We need to embrace these issues. Just

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like we're on the school yard. I

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go to meetings with frustrated parents, teachers

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and administrators trying to figure out how to solve

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bullying issues that are happening at this school. Those meetings

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and talks her almost verbatim

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to the trainings that are happening in our workplace.

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But there's so many people that don't

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want to accept that it's even happening. I'll

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tell you this. When you're in school,

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let's say you're in the third grade, unless

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you're getting picked on or unless you see a

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friend getting picked on, unless you truly

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experience it, you wouldn't believe

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it either. You would think that all

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this talk about school yard bullies is

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a punch of bowl. That's exactly

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what happens in the adult workplace. You

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know that rotten bully back in school and

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most oftentimes their parents are completely

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supportive. They think that they're a little,

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Billy is the best kid around and there's no way he'd

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ever pick on someone else. That's

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just like our workplace. The higher

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ups think that these supervisors are great people.

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Because let's face it, the

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supervisors telling the managers that they're great

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people, they're manipulated. Just like

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Billy's parents back in third grade. They

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only see what Billy wants them to see.

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And when the teacher calls to say there's an issue,

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they don't want to believe it. They believe

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a teacher must be the issue or the other

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kids, but certainly not Billy. Can you

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see how all of these behaviors

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just duplicate themselves into adulthood?

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My point is that

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we must open our eyes and accept

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that these things happen in adult workplaces.

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People do get picked on just like they

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did in grade school. It's just

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at a completely different level and more

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mature. Well, you can call

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it that. Adults are far smarter

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and more manipulative than any little kid ever

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could be. So imagine

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the difference. The best

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bullies, the smarts ones, they

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know how to do it so they don't get caught.

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And most of the time they don't even realize they're being

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bullies. Just like Billy back in third grade,

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they think that everyone else is the problem,

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not them. It's really

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hard for them to step outside of this situation

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and look back in and ask themselves if they're

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making the right decisions and treating people

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fairly. Are they being honest

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with the teacher? Or with their manager

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or High up? Or are they

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just trying to paint a picture and give

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them to see what Billy wants them to see? I

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encourage you to open your eyes

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in this vast adult workplace and encourage

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others to open theirs as well. Realize

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that this could be going on. And that

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you can do something about it.

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If you see something, say

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something about it. If you can

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make a change, treat someone

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just a little bit better. Or

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maybe help them see how they're treating

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others with disrespect, be that person.

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Go above and beyond, push the

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limits and don't be afraid. We

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get retaliated on for speaking up? Possibly, but

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I think it's time that we stopped being afraid of that because

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fear is exactly what the bully wants. Silence

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is their weapon. Let's not be silent

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anymore. Well,

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that's a wrap. On this particular fire. Now,

8:02

I created Up in Flames as an effort

8:04

to stoke a few fires and ignite

8:06

moral courage in the workplace and far

8:08

beyond. The majority of my

8:10

experience is as a firefighter

8:12

for a federal agency. So

8:14

while that is my base, this mission

8:16

will go far beyond the federal workforce.

8:19

We'll keep discussing challenges and solutions

8:22

that apply not only in our professional cultures,

8:24

but throughout our society as a whole.

8:27

The Up in Flames' mission is no ordinary

8:30

challenge. It's a culture shifting

8:32

project powered by you.

8:35

To keep Up in Flames going strong, go to

8:37

AbbyBolt.com and hit that link at the top

8:40

and become a patron. Up in

8:42

Flames' patrons get special

8:44

access to behind the scenes info, backstories,

8:47

content that no one else knows about. Not

8:49

to mention early access to many

8:51

episodes. Now to

8:54

my patrons and those you have been so

8:56

kind as to leave a review or even

8:58

send me an email sharing your experience,

9:00

you have proven to me that this is all

9:03

worth it. I invite anyone

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who wants to reach out to hit me up at abby@upinflames

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.org. Now, listen closely

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in the background now and then you might hear

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a big, old great Pyrenees barking while on duty.

9:16

Or the far whining of a quarter horse.

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That's because while I do record

9:21

for many locations, I'm usually recording

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in my home office on the Bolt ranch, which

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is unpredictable with the animals, but you

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know what? While some

9:30

days can be a little exhausting and very unpredictable,

9:33

there's no place else I'd rather be. Thanks

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again to my folks Terry and Red Bolt

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for hanging onto it so tight and giving

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all this Bolt girls the courage

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to do what we do. [inaudible]

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.