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offer, all lower case. That's

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shopify.com/special offer. I'm

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Delta Work and this is VeryDelta.

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Today's show is no joke. She's the

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Russian doll with a heart of stone.

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The beautiful Kathy A is with us

0:39

today. But first, do you wanna see

0:41

me go off? Cause I think

0:43

you wanna see me go off. Oh, oh

0:45

shit. Sorry,

0:49

I'm late. M.

0:56

Oh. M. Mom.

1:05

Are you a lady like me? Introspective,

1:10

beautiful. Oh,

1:13

are you intellectual like me? Beguiled

1:17

by a bargain? You

1:21

like wild times, like me?

1:25

Are you serving the community like me? Well,

1:29

if you are, then you must

1:31

be VeryDelta. I'm

1:41

Delta Work and this is VeryDelta,

1:43

a luxury public access podcast and

1:45

YouTube talk show where I look

1:47

gorgeous, speak extemporaneously, and invite fascinating

1:50

people to sit on the couch

1:52

and get VeryDelta. VeryDelta

1:54

is for the woman who nods like she

1:56

can hear what you're saying, but she's really

1:58

thinking about ordering a new bottle. of youth

2:00

do by Estee Lauder. But

2:02

first, let's get into some things that

2:05

are very Delta. All

2:11

lemon-lime carbonated sodas

2:13

like a Sprite or

2:16

Sierra Mist or Slice are now called

2:18

Starry. They all

2:20

taste the same. When I was a kid, there was bubble up and

2:23

that's nobody in here is old enough to remember

2:25

bubble up, but it was a real drink and

2:27

it was right next to 7-Up and it was

2:30

delicious. And then Slice came out, Pepsi

2:32

had Slice and

2:34

Slice was the lemon-lime

2:36

from them and Sprite. Sprite has always

2:38

stood by their thing. They're like, we're

2:41

Sprite. We are Sprite. And we understand

2:43

that people want us to say zero

2:45

calories, zero sugar, zero Sprite. I don't

2:48

know if zero and

2:50

diet are supposed to be like,

2:52

did zero replace diet? Like

2:54

people don't like the term diet or

2:56

is it like an American Medical Association

2:58

thing? I don't know what that is,

3:00

but Sprite has at least

3:03

always been like, we're Sprite.

3:06

Sierra Mist, you can do what you want. If you

3:08

want to become, if Slice

3:11

wants to become Sierra Mist, so be

3:13

it. And then if Sierra

3:16

Mist was like, I've changed my identity,

3:18

I would like to be known as

3:20

Starry. They were like, we

3:22

respect you. Like we respect your

3:24

pronoun or whatever. Like we're still

3:27

Sprite. I kind of

3:29

feel like Sprite in a way

3:32

is like the, like

3:34

your friend from high school that like knows

3:37

that you're gay. And it's like,

3:39

hey, if you want to feel like, hey

3:43

Slice, hey little Slice, I

3:46

know you're feeling yourself and you want

3:48

to be Sierra Mist as a stage

3:50

name, go for it. I'm with

3:52

you. And then Sierra Mist was like,

3:54

you know what? I'm

3:56

taking this on the road, actually. It's not just

3:59

a stage name. name, it's who I am. And I

4:02

am not known by two names.

4:04

There's Cher, there's Madonna. I'm

4:06

Starry. And I

4:08

want to be respected as that. And

4:10

I feel like Sprite was like, I'm still Sprite. You

4:12

know what I mean? I'm still Sprite. I'm not, I

4:14

can't change who I am. But I

4:17

hold the space for you to change

4:19

who you are. And if you want

4:21

to be known as Starry, I will

4:23

not dead name you. I'm

4:25

not going to call you Slice.

4:27

I know you as Slice. And

4:30

I know that you know that

4:32

I knew you before all

4:34

this Sierra Mist and Starry business.

4:37

But I know it's not just

4:39

business. I know it's the real you.

4:41

And I will never ever

4:43

dead name you Starry. I would never

4:46

do that to you. Because you

4:48

would never try to change who I am. Now

4:51

I know that I'm a little light

4:53

in my loafers-ish. So

4:56

I can be zero. Like, you're

4:58

a zero. Like, I

5:01

love that song. Save by zero. Do you

5:03

know that song? But what

5:05

my thing is, what I'm getting at is with

5:07

all of this is, how

5:11

can Cactus Cooler never released

5:14

a diet version? Why

5:17

is there no diet Cactus Cooler? Cactus

5:20

Cooler in itself

5:22

is the only drink of its

5:24

profile. So for instance, if you

5:26

get a root beer, every

5:29

company has their own root beer, right?

5:31

Like A&W, a Dads. There is a

5:33

Mr. Pib to a Dr. Pepper. There's

5:35

like an opposite. There is a

5:39

Sprite to a Slice

5:41

Sierra Mist Starry, correct?

5:44

Why then was there never an opposite to

5:46

a Cactus Cooler, which is a citrus

5:50

but pineapple-y drink? Squirt

5:53

never had one either. But Squirt offered you

5:55

diet. But what I'm saying is,

5:58

imagine if Cactus

6:01

cooler had their own zero or their

6:03

own diet. They wouldn't have any competition

6:05

because there's nobody else like them. They're

6:08

like, we have our own thing. Squirt

6:11

did it. You can even, oh

6:13

my gosh, what's the place I love? Shasta.

6:16

Shasta has Hawaiian punch. They

6:19

finally released a Shasta zero

6:21

carbonated Hawaiian punch. Why

6:25

can I not have a diet cactus cooler?

6:28

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to do that. You'd

6:31

be the only drink like it. The

6:33

only national drink like it. And

6:35

you can't do that. Ooh, I

6:38

love a diet cream soda. Mmm,

6:40

I love cream soda. Did

6:42

you know you can take a can of soda and

6:44

you can pour it in a cake mix, just

6:47

a box cake mix, and you can mix it

6:49

up and you can bake a cake like that

6:51

with no other ingredients. And it's not bad.

6:54

I mean, it sticks to the side of the

6:56

thing and it's like it's a little it's a

6:58

little tacky in a way. And I don't mean

7:00

tacky like, that's tacky. I mean, like it's sticky

7:02

in a way. But you know, you can come

7:04

to me with any tricks

7:06

to losing weight and I can give you all

7:08

of the facts. I know all the facts. I

7:10

just don't apply them. But

7:13

listen, I have been a

7:15

card carrying member at Weight Watchers

7:17

since, my god, I

7:19

was probably 19 years old. I haven't

7:22

been to Weight Watchers in like two years and they still take

7:24

$39 out of

7:26

my checking account every month. I just realized that.

7:29

God, that's a lot of money. Diet

7:32

beverages are no points on Weight

7:35

Watchers. I

7:37

wonder why I don't just fill up on diet beverages

7:39

all day long and like, like

7:41

get sick from it. If I just got sick from it,

7:43

and I was like, Oh, God, I can't eat a thing.

7:45

And then as soon as I started to feel better, I

7:47

just drink a whole bunch more. And

7:50

then I would never be hungry. I

7:53

have, I have the key. You know what I

7:55

mean? I know how this is done. I just

7:57

don't know why I don't apply it. Huh.

8:04

Did you ever think too, Coke has its

8:06

drinks and Pepsi has its drinks,

8:08

right? But there's this

8:11

middle ground area where like

8:13

A&W, Sunkist Orange, 7-Up, they

8:15

kind of feel like a little, like they

8:17

get there on sale with the others and

8:19

I feel like they are part of maybe

8:23

the Coke brand in a way, but

8:25

they seem so kind of like left

8:28

of center. They are very Susan

8:31

Vega, like they are just kind of

8:33

like we're on our own, you know what I mean? Like

8:35

we ride at dawn, we

8:37

show up, we do our

8:40

thing, we're really not part of this,

8:42

we're really not part of that. They're

8:44

like the kids in high school who

8:46

like don't really eat with anybody at

8:48

lunch, they just kind of hang

8:50

out on their own, they don't pack a lunch. They

8:55

don't eat lunch in the cafeteria. They're

8:58

not nerds, they're not like smart

9:00

kids, they're not cool kids, they're just

9:02

kind of like off on their own.

9:05

A&W, Canada Dry even, 7-Up,

9:08

if I didn't say it,

9:11

they all are the kids who smoke cigarettes

9:13

at lunch. They

9:16

just have cigarettes and they hang out

9:18

by the tree and they're like, I don't know, I don't

9:20

know what I'm going to do, but they're definitely the people

9:22

that you hang out later in life. You're

9:24

like, hey, don't we go to school together?

9:27

They're not like, I don't know, they're

9:29

artists. 7-Up

9:31

is art, SunKissed is art,

9:34

and Cactus Cooler has every opportunity to be

9:36

as fucking cool as them and it just

9:39

doesn't want to do it. It's like, mm-mm,

9:41

full sugar or nothing. Full

9:43

sugar or nothing. I mean, I

9:45

guess I can respect it in a way because they

9:47

have the opportunity to do it, they just don't want

9:49

to do it. The company's like, mm-mm, this is not,

9:52

we don't want you to be worried about it. We

9:54

want you to drink the full 140 calories in this

9:56

can. We

9:59

want you to consume all of our food. all of the

10:01

sugar, we don't want to water it down. We don't want

10:03

to be there. I'm not going to be forced into something.

10:05

I'm not going to be bullied. I'm not going to be

10:07

ignored, because you are worried about

10:09

sugar intake. And

10:12

that's what a lot of people don't drink diet

10:14

beverages. You know, they say that you even though

10:16

there's no calories and no sugar, you still

10:19

can gain weight by drinking

10:21

these things. And I know there's a science behind it.

10:23

And I think the science is it

10:26

triggers something in you that makes you hungry,

10:28

right? There's like, there's a term for it.

10:30

And so that's why people who are drinking

10:33

them and like, like, you know, I drink

10:35

Diet Coke all day long. And

10:38

of course, Paris Hilton said it the best

10:40

when she said, only fat

10:42

people drink Diet Coke. And you

10:44

know what? It's kind of

10:46

true. I feel like it's weird when people go, Oh,

10:50

you're gonna have all that in a Diet Coke.

10:52

That's gonna help. I don't

10:54

want it to help. I wasn't

10:56

trying to get it to negate all the

10:58

calories. I'm drinking it because

11:00

I fucking like the way it tastes. Like

11:03

when people are like, Oh, I'm gonna have

11:05

like in Greece, oh, can we get two

11:07

hamburgers, two fries and two milkshakes? Who is

11:09

drinking dessert with their food? A milkshake

11:13

is not refreshing. A milkshake is dessert. It's

11:15

not a beverage. Who is drinking

11:17

them? They're like, Let me wash down my hamburger.

11:19

No, eat it after. Chill

11:21

out for a little bit. Wait

11:23

like an hour or

11:25

see, because that's why I can't have dessert at

11:28

a restaurant. I can order it to go, but

11:30

I can't have it in the restaurant. Because I'm

11:32

full. And what about when people are like, you

11:34

know, you shouldn't be full, you should just eat

11:36

until you're comfortable. Oh, come

11:40

on, be full

11:42

sometimes. It's like absolutely okay to

11:44

be like, I

11:47

gotta walk this off. I gotta

11:49

walk this. I want to fill my ribs. You know

11:51

what I mean? Like, I just

11:53

don't understand why what's the big deal? Like, you're

11:57

not gonna live that long. I'll fucking

11:59

hope. not. God damn, I

12:01

keep trying. I give,

12:03

I try to give my body to the

12:05

sky all the time. Do you understand? God.

12:11

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14:21

you ever like see people focusing on something and they're like, like

14:27

it's like a focusing

14:31

on something and then you're like, why are they

14:33

moaning like that? Like, what are they

14:35

doing? I think it's big black.

14:38

My coccyx is huge. Big black.

14:48

What was the video I saw? There was

14:50

a video. It was like a, um, it

14:53

was a porn from the UK. Okay. But,

14:56

um, the girl that was in it was,

14:58

um, she was like this smallish,

15:01

beautiful girl. And she's like sitting on this

15:03

guy's dick and she's like, but she looks

15:05

drunk in a way. So she's like all

15:07

trying and she's trying and she goes, hold

15:10

on baby. Let me lose the

15:12

Hills. It's complicated with the

15:14

Hills, but she said Hills. Hello

15:20

baby. Let me lose the Hills. It was

15:22

like Chanel Perillo ish in a way.

15:24

Like like,

15:31

what the hell? And the other

15:33

girl was going ferociously on this

15:35

guy's dicks. She had two hands

15:37

going and she then she's like,

15:39

Oh yeah. And

15:42

then she like lifts up his dick and starts licking

15:44

his balls. She's like, Oh, I'm gonna show

15:47

you a bowl. That's

15:49

what she said. And so what

15:51

she was saying is I'm chewing on your balls

15:54

like that. I'm sure you're going

15:56

to wait, wait, chewing on balls. Yeah.

15:59

Chewing on. See that doesn't sound hot

16:01

to me at all like to chew on them Well,

16:03

actually it sounds it sounds super

16:05

hot to me. It does Yeah,

16:08

because I love to chew on everyone's balls

16:10

including you. Do you like to smack them?

16:12

No, I stuffed them up my ass Wow,

16:15

have you ever stuffed your own balls in your ass?

16:19

I know can you imagine? Yeah,

16:21

you do imagine too clearly everyone imagine

16:23

I mean, come on This is a

16:25

safe place to talk about anything like

16:27

that a safe place a safe space

16:30

This is your home as well. I

16:32

need your balls up my ass. I know you

16:34

do everyone does I know people dream of I need

16:37

your balls up my ass so bad Have

16:39

you ever had someone else's balls in your ass? Honestly?

16:43

Don't be afraid balls up my ass,

16:45

right? Yes,

16:48

I want your balls up my ass right

16:51

now, please may I What? My

16:55

guest today is one of the biggest

16:57

drag stars in the entire world a

17:00

Polyglot with a porn addiction.

17:02

Absolutely. It's cotia Z Trapdoor

17:06

diarrhea cotia Z We've

17:09

had other cotias your red cotia M.

17:11

No, um, what? Yeah. Do you like

17:14

when people say cotcha? I

17:16

don't I like that Gosh the in

17:18

Brazil today. Gosh. Oh, they do. Yeah,

17:20

that's weird. Are the balls different in

17:23

Brazil? Yeah, oh, yes, really

17:25

joking. Really? Oh, yeah, I mean I

17:30

Yeah, yeah, I could see that

17:33

they're very different More

17:35

tan Yeah, more tan

17:37

and then do you have a

17:39

preference like do you like one? That's more mob

17:41

a set that's mob. Do you like when one

17:44

is lower than the other balls? Or

17:46

when they tighten up into the body I love

17:48

it when they tighten up and they become a

17:51

part of the digestive tract and

17:53

then the penis hangs over like that Gonzo

17:56

effect. Okay, the balls go sweeping

17:59

up The penis hangs over,

18:01

and then you just, pssssss,

18:03

psssss, psssssss. Do

18:06

you prefer this, a

18:09

penis that's this angle, this

18:11

angle, this angle? Elevator

18:14

button. Okay. This big.

18:17

Okay. I want a penis that is like, just

18:20

this big. Oh, you like someone in

18:23

a cock cage? I would never

18:25

say that. You would never say that, but you'd see that.

18:27

It sounds like you were so presumptuous. Well,

18:30

that's what I do. I make presumptions,

18:32

then I assess, and then I make

18:34

a judgment. And then you just, you

18:36

insult? Uh-huh. Embarrass, insult.

18:39

You humiliate. Um, hi,

18:41

Fu. Happy Fu's Day.

18:44

Happy Fu, oh, yes. Would you rather have

18:46

a cheeseburger or a hamburger if they were

18:48

offered to you? I

18:50

don't like cheese. You don't? Only

18:52

on pizza. Ugh. What

18:54

is it about cheese that you

18:56

don't like? I like hot cheese,

18:58

but like, camembert? Cam-o-l-l?

19:00

I don't like it. Okay.

19:03

You don't have to eat it. There's

19:06

so many other things. You know, when I was a

19:08

kid, my mom used to say, um, my aunts would

19:10

say, oh, he's not eating his vegetables. And my mom

19:12

would say, he can find another vegetable

19:15

he likes. A thank you? So, if

19:17

he doesn't like peas, how about we ask him

19:19

if he likes broccoli? And if he

19:21

doesn't like that, let's see if maybe he likes, I

19:23

don't know, squash. What are

19:26

some of your favorite vegetables? Carrots.

19:28

Really? How do you like them prepared? Oh,

19:30

so, according to my mother, this

19:32

could be true, she's dead. I

19:36

ate carrots for six to eight

19:38

years straight and turned orange. Oh,

19:41

okay. Okay. I

19:43

don't know. I don't know if that's true. But

19:45

I love carrots that are like, um,

19:48

baked with cinnamon and

19:51

sugar. Oh, that's good. See, that's why you

19:53

say that. Because you know, you always see

19:55

people say, like, oh, do you like sweet potato pie

19:57

or do you like, um, um, you

20:00

know like yams. And they're

20:02

both kind of a similar root. What the

20:04

fuck is a yam? What is a yam?

20:06

What the fuck is a yam? Green eggs

20:08

and yams you've never had? Wait, Samantha Jones.

20:11

Right. Fakes in the city. Right. Yams.

20:14

What the hell is a yam? You know what a yam

20:16

is. I really don't. I think you do. Oh,

20:19

yam. Well, it's like a carrot, but

20:21

it's more like a sweet potato. And

20:24

it's like a regular potato. Let me pull my leg. So

20:26

where I'm going with this is, why

20:29

do people not get potatoes and season

20:31

them the way that they would season

20:33

a sweet potato pie and then just

20:35

serve it as a potato pie? Wait,

20:37

wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold

20:39

on, hold on. Say that again. Do

20:42

you like, do you know what a sweet

20:44

potato pie is? Sweet potato pie. No. Mostly

20:47

a Thanksgiving, a fall. Oh, sure.

20:50

Late summer, early fall dish, right? Sweet potato pie. So

20:52

if a sweet potato is just a sweeter version

20:54

of a potato. Right. Would

20:57

you just make a sweet potato

20:59

pie with a russet potato and

21:02

it would just be a less sweet version? Yes,

21:06

you could do it. Absolutely.

21:08

I don't know why it's not being done. Because

21:10

I think people are afraid of success. Yeah. They're

21:13

afraid of you. No.

21:19

I know how to make minute rice. Yeah, that's great.

21:21

That's a good start. I think so. Yeah.

21:25

It takes me forever though. Is rice your favorite carb

21:27

or what would you say your favorite carb is? Oh,

21:29

rice, 100%. Yeah. How

21:32

do you like to have rice? White rice with

21:35

steamed rice. Okay. With a

21:37

vegetable, some kind of drizzle. Like what kind

21:39

of vegetable though? Broccoli, carrot.

21:44

What other vegetables are there? Well, you

21:46

could have with that some squash. You

21:50

could have with that some corn. Corn, but

21:53

doesn't it go right through you? It

21:55

comes out the same way it went in. Oh,

21:58

shit. Just the middle comes out. and then

22:00

that skin floats around. The skin floats around.

22:04

Do you like it with skin or with

22:06

no skin? Oh, I love

22:08

skin. You like extra skin? You

22:11

do? What do you like about

22:13

that? I have to tell you something. Tell me. The

22:15

temperature in here is so erotic. Is

22:17

it? We try to keep it about 65. It's

22:20

so erotic that I

22:23

could explode. Really?

22:26

With juices. I could

22:28

ski on your face and drown you. Really?

22:31

Oh, yeah. Now, when you are having homosexual

22:33

sex with people, where do you like to

22:35

have your orgasm? Where do you like to

22:37

release? On their face, anally,

22:40

inside? Excuse me? Well, you said you were

22:42

going to explode. How dare

22:44

you presume that I have sex? Oh,

22:47

I know what you are. I'm

22:49

a never nude. You're a squirter.

22:52

Oh, my god, I wish. Don't, please don't talk about that.

22:54

Do you think that there's people that can squirt from their

22:56

anus? That's

23:00

what I thought. That's what I thought. What do

23:02

you think about practical jokes? Oh,

23:05

I love practical jokes. However, if you

23:08

were to, say, pull a prank on

23:10

me, where, I don't know,

23:12

the Texas Chainsaw Massacre came in,

23:14

chopped off my head. I'd be like, that's

23:16

not funny. But it would be Christianist fierce.

23:18

Right. Well, I think a

23:20

fart is hilarious. Absolutely. I

23:22

think it is absolutely hilarious. What

23:24

about farting during sex, though? I

23:27

think anything that happens with your body during

23:29

sex should just be laughter.

23:31

I mean, sex can be silly. It

23:33

can be funny. It can

23:35

be ravenous. It

23:38

can be spiritual. It can be spiritual. Absolutely. It

23:40

should be. But I think

23:42

if you fart, I mean, that's funny. Well, so

23:45

do you know about Make the Ass Talk by

23:47

Kaya? Let the coochie breathe. Let

23:49

the coochie breathe? Breathe. Breathe.

23:51

Yeah. Is breathing different than breathing? It

23:54

is because it's spiritual. This

23:58

whole time, I've been breathing the wrong way. Has

24:00

your ass ever

24:03

spoken? Pontificated. Pontificated.

24:05

Yeah. It

24:08

certainly has in

24:10

the most diabolical way. You

24:13

know, just the other day, it was,

24:16

I was, I walked into a

24:18

room and I became flushed with

24:20

embarrassment. Oh, why? Well, because

24:22

I was, I was in the company of

24:25

people who I'm not very comfortable with. Oh,

24:27

so you became uncomfortable and then passed gas

24:29

because you were in front of them? I

24:32

passed gas, became uncomfortable, and then? Well,

24:36

this is the thing. You probably

24:38

never feel uncomfortable when you pass gas in your

24:40

own home. And I know you have your

24:43

new space. Thank you. Right.

24:46

Tell me about your new space, about decorating.

24:48

Well, it's M87. It's a black hole. It's

24:50

the biggest black hole in, I think that

24:52

is, was discovered by NASA.

24:54

Okay. It's an enormous vortex

24:56

through which the human body can pass through, but

24:58

once it's through the other side, we don't really

25:00

know what happens. And so I

25:03

think that's just really fun and exciting for me and

25:05

for you. And you can, you

25:07

can release yourself at any point in any manner.

25:10

Absolutely. I mean, release the

25:12

Snyder cut. You know

25:14

what I mean? Snyder cut. Yeah. The

25:17

Snyder cut. The only

25:19

thing I know about Snyder's is Snyder's pretzels.

25:21

Do you like pretzels? Are you, are you,

25:23

am I screaming? Are you joking? Do

25:26

I love pretzels? How much do you love pretzels? Are

25:28

you fucking kidding me, bitch? Are you fucking kidding me?

25:30

I wanted to get to this point with you. Are

25:32

you fucking kidding me? Pretzels?

25:34

Momma? Mm-hmm. It's

25:38

extra dark, burnt to a

25:40

crisp, salty as hell.

25:42

Salty as hell. Black and salty.

25:44

Black, burnt to a crisp. Yeah.

25:47

Salty as fuck. The, the sourdough nibblers.

25:50

The giant ones, the ones you put in the microwave, the

25:53

ones you put in the oven, the ones you get at

25:55

Wetzels, the ones you get at the

25:57

mall. I mean, ugh. I

25:59

love pretzels. so much.

26:02

Do you like pretzels outside

26:04

of their regular form in other foods like

26:07

in an ice cream? Oh okay,

26:09

let me describe it to you.

26:12

It is Ben and

26:14

Jerry's ice cream called Glamfire

26:16

Trail Mix and inside of

26:18

it is chocolate and

26:21

nuts and marshmallow gooey

26:23

and pieces of salted pretzel mixed

26:25

into vanilla ice cream with a

26:27

brown sugar swirl. Would you do

26:29

it? I would release

26:31

it. You would have to. You would

26:33

definitely. I would release it into my hole. Yeah, that's

26:35

what I'm saying. I would welcome it in like a

26:38

stray dog, nurture it for 18 years and never let

26:40

it go. Can I put you

26:42

on my mother's Christmas candy list because she does

26:44

a pretzel candy and I think she might like

26:46

to give you some if she thought you would

26:48

enjoy it. Are you kidding me?

26:50

Yeah, just a little box. I

26:53

could not be more thrilled. She would love it.

26:55

I would love it. Have I mentioned

26:57

the temperature and how erotic it is? I'm

27:00

starting to feel it. I'm starting to feel

27:02

it. And if I mention you know much

27:04

you have making me come in my pants.

27:06

Right. How wet and wet and

27:08

they're wet already. The cunt is yeah.

27:10

Oh can I swear you can who's

27:13

gonna stop you? The FBI. They're

27:17

not here. Okay, they're not here. No.

27:19

You're mine. You're mine. You look so

27:21

cunt. Your lips are always fucking perfect.

27:25

You. Oh, oh, oh,

27:28

every. Thank you. Mama.

27:30

We squared on them. Let's

27:33

take a break. Yeah.

28:00

Katie a and we are

28:02

talking about April food. Oh,

28:04

yes, we are what's that?

28:06

What's before May? April

28:09

it's gonna be May. Oh, I you

28:11

don't like mama. I Tell

28:16

me you seen Jim Berle. I don't

28:18

like you don't like I do not

28:20

like him what turns you off because

28:22

he is his

28:25

ramen noodle hair and he

28:29

emerged from the Super Bowl fiasco

28:31

unscathed Miss

28:34

Janet Jackson Was

28:36

blackballed for how many years now? Do you blame

28:38

him for that or do I do American culture

28:40

for that? Well, I would blame the FBI first

28:43

and foremost then I would blame the

28:45

CIA the PTA the SPU

28:49

Lawn or sb. You know CSI Miami.

28:52

I would probably blame everybody Who

28:55

do you think would call you

28:57

back into duty? Sooner

29:00

the FBI or the CIA. I Think

29:04

the CIA because the CIA is

29:06

like country country. What is this

29:08

name again? Um

29:10

country interior? illusion

29:14

a literary illusion Illusion. Yes. Yes. Yes

29:16

CIA for sure FBI we're weren't they

29:18

nice because of the whole clary starling

29:20

thing, right? Right. Um, do

29:22

you just eat grains and berries? Or do

29:25

you have a fast food place that you

29:27

like to go to from time to time?

29:29

Well, could you okay? I'm

29:32

gonna try to get this out in as few be concise

29:34

as possible, but you can use as many words as you

29:36

want Why

29:38

is there always a line it in and out I'm

29:41

talking like it's not just a line It's

29:45

not I mean it's good I like it I

29:47

like it I never not like it but who

29:49

is so obsessed with it Why is it always

29:51

down the block right down Hollywood Boulevard around the

29:54

other corner? Why is it? Why

29:57

is it the Macy's Day parade every

29:59

single? day there no matter if it's

30:01

8 a.m. or 11 p.m. I don't even know if they're

30:03

open 24 hours they probably are why aren't

30:06

there why aren't they all spread out a little

30:08

bit I feel like it might have something to

30:10

do with people thinking like it's

30:12

more it's like cooler than all the other

30:15

places so they're like let's take a selfie

30:17

I'm like serious make sure and take a

30:19

picture of our vinyl record like no way

30:21

I think so it's like that pink wall

30:24

that pink wall like by it's like

30:27

Melrose or something in California there's there's a

30:29

pink wall right and people just go take

30:31

like they take their pictures at the pink

30:33

wall you think they call it the pink

30:36

wall or the sugar wall oh I wish

30:38

it was the sugar wall right my sugar

30:40

walls are gray they are yeah it

30:42

would be even beat up be

30:44

like bongos bonk bonk bonk beat

30:46

it up when

30:49

are you performing at brunch soon well the thing

30:51

is I don't really believe in brunch as a

30:54

concept okay I would do breakfast or lunch but

30:56

brunch is confusing to me what would you eat

30:58

at breakfast lunch you

31:00

eat lunch no I would eat

31:02

brunch no no I'm gonna get

31:05

branches good you like brunch I

31:07

don't I don't like that idea I'm a lunch

31:09

person for sure no I like breakfast

31:11

I like brunch and then I like dinner I don't

31:13

like lunch that much hmm if

31:16

you could pick three meals but they all

31:18

have to be from fast food what would

31:22

they be burger fries coke from

31:25

the burgers from Burger King the fries

31:27

are from McDonald's and

31:29

the the coke is from

31:31

the CBS one of

31:33

those like Mexican bottle like about okay

31:36

yeah okay and then French

31:38

toast French toast French toast you like French

31:40

French toast like thick French

31:42

toast with berries and whipped cream and then syrup

31:44

and then crispy bacon not

31:46

fatty be sure crispy bacon have

31:48

you made your bacon in the

31:50

oven before I've never made bacon before

31:52

that's the way to do it some

31:55

people fry bacon in water you ever

31:57

heard that no yeah you can do that Do

32:00

you drink Sprite? Are you joking? Do

32:03

you drink Sprite? Do you like it? I love it. Have you

32:05

ever had a Sprite from McDonald's? Yes, I

32:07

have. You can fry fish in that Sprite. What?

32:10

Mm-hmm. It's so carbonated that

32:12

it burns the fish. Is

32:15

it true what they say about Coca-Cola and it

32:17

taking the rust off your toilet? I

32:21

don't have a toilet. We don't have toilets

32:23

here. We think it's really gross. Yeah It

32:25

also the people at this lovely podcast of

32:27

when I asked to go to the toilet

32:30

Not only did they laugh at me, uh-huh

32:32

They also slapped me in the face and

32:34

then they stuff they shoved a huge cock

32:37

Up my butt. It wasn't huge. It was one

32:39

but it wasn't huge. It was huge Delta. I

32:41

knew yes Okay But you know size is relative

32:44

and you know that I have the tiniest little

32:46

pussy and if anything bumps against my cervix I

32:49

just I can't get anything done right right

32:51

long story short. There's no toilet

32:53

here, right? And I'm sorry, I'm gonna be you

32:56

don't need one. No for what

32:58

reason you're so beautiful. You're so beautiful

33:00

You're lying. Let me ask you this.

33:02

This is like a real real real

33:05

question. You make tons of digital

33:07

content Podcasts web shows

33:09

TV shows commercials. You're on camera

33:11

a lot But

33:14

how are you doing if somebody

33:16

invites you to the club? Do you

33:18

know drop and show go to the club and just

33:20

drop in a number you gonna do that like Oh

33:23

turn up at the club Yeah, like just like go

33:25

off like oh like um, you know like in those

33:27

songs where they say like We're

33:30

in the club in the music loud and

33:32

the DJ is playing my favorite song right

33:34

and we're surrounded by friends and we're we're

33:36

drinking and it's like That

33:38

kind of thing. Yeah. Well, no, I mean I even say

33:41

like we'll let you make money. You can keep all your

33:43

tips Imagine

33:45

that What do you think is

33:47

a good amount of tip money off of a number?

33:49

That's four minutes long It depends on

33:52

when we're talking about it. We're talking about

33:54

right now. I'm gonna give the DJ a

33:57

Dropbox link to a pussy C

34:00

cat dolls mix that you're gonna

34:02

perform. It's six minutes and 46

34:04

seconds and there are you have

34:06

access to 200 people

34:08

that are seated you have a stage That's

34:11

not really a stage. It's just a dance floor. Okay, so

34:13

you don't have to do all kinds of craziness But you

34:15

can if you want. Okay, and what year we talking where

34:17

this is This is

34:19

you have just left drag race for

34:21

the very first time and you are

34:23

in Branson,

34:26

Missouri, okay Just

34:28

live drag race been on the show Six

34:34

minute pussy yeah, I

34:36

mean I would I would want I

34:38

would want like $500. Yeah before

34:42

drag race. I was lucky to get four.

34:44

Yeah $3. Maybe if you've done a

34:46

show to nobody Yes

34:51

Yes, I have done Delta if you've a

34:53

lot if you've ever done a show to

34:55

recently not one single person Not

34:59

not what not not one but under four

35:01

people. Okay, see this is the

35:03

fucking thing When you're

35:05

before drag race, of course If

35:09

you do it, I've done shows to zero

35:11

people And I'm

35:13

talking zero. Yeah, I've never been that

35:15

much of a loser, but but I'm pretty bad

35:17

off mama But I'll tell me that

35:19

you know, what's worse than zero two Because

35:23

then it's like Great

35:27

We gotta do a show to two people

35:29

two people are 200. They're getting the same

35:31

show from me. No, they're not No, they're

35:33

fucking not. No, they're not. No, they're not.

35:35

Oh, they're not and I'm not being fucked

35:37

up It's just true mama zero

35:39

people are getting the best show in the world.

35:41

Right two people are getting boo-boo garbage Zero

35:44

people because I'll come out me like oh Oh

35:49

Shit and I'll lip-sync to some

35:51

like Serbian B side for

35:53

14 minutes because I live right upstairs,

35:55

right, you know But two people Two

35:59

people is so stressful. It's

36:02

so stressful because it's like why don't you just

36:04

go home. Just go home.

36:06

Get the hell out of here. Although one time I

36:09

have to say there was a show

36:11

with three people in it. There

36:13

were three, wait, three of us. Nobody

36:16

came until maybe a

36:18

half an hour before closing time. And

36:20

guess who showed up? The

36:22

wives of famous football and basketball

36:25

players. Oh. And they

36:28

took scoop fulls of cash and

36:31

threw it at our faces. Did

36:34

it hurt? It hurts so much going to

36:36

the bank next day, being paying three months

36:38

of rent. It was so cunty. It was

36:40

so cunty. It was so bizarre.

36:42

Such an outlier. But that was not a common

36:44

thing of course. What do you think makes something

36:48

really joyous but

36:51

then takes it to

36:53

the next level to cunty? From

36:55

joy to cunty. Oh yeah. It's

36:57

like from Justin and Kelly. Right. From

37:00

joy to cunty. I think like Christmas

37:02

is joyous but

37:05

Santa's cunty. Okay. You know

37:07

what I mean? Christmas time is joyous but

37:09

Santa Claus is cunty. Do you prefer a

37:11

Santa Claus that is in the red velvet

37:14

suit or a workshop? Santa Claus.

37:16

I don't care as long as he's black. Okay. Okay.

37:18

As long as he's black. Yeah that's fair. I mean

37:20

where are the fucking black Santa Clauses? They're all over.

37:23

I mean really. They are. Go to the

37:25

mall. You've

37:28

never been to the mall? Do you know what a mall is?

37:30

We have a lot of malls in Southern California. Mall. Yeah. Mall.

37:34

You would find a store

37:36

like Judy's Petri's Plus. Petri's?

37:39

August Max Woman. August

37:41

Max. Lectors. Lectors. Olin Mill. Laureats.

37:43

You would find Payless Shoe Source.

37:45

What about Claire's? You would find

37:48

Claire's. You know that they have

37:50

Claire's now inside Walmart. You

37:53

can get your clit pierced at Claire's. Clit

37:55

pierced at a Claire's in Walmart. That's from

37:57

joyous to cunty. Right. You walk in joyous.

38:00

Right to Walmart you get your clip

38:02

pierced you leave country your cunt pierced

38:04

cunt Mary Yeah, have you had what

38:06

have you had pierced nothing and what can we do

38:08

today? I have no piercings and I have no tattoos

38:12

Okay, I'm not opposed to them. I

38:14

got my guy in the back. Let's let's figure

38:16

that out for you What what piercing do you

38:18

think let's do a facial? Okay Well, I've had

38:20

this in this when I as soon as I

38:22

left to call as soon as I left like

38:24

my parents house I got

38:26

this in this was very strange and it

38:28

was a crunch They take a

38:30

clamp. Why were you not allowed to do that? Your

38:33

parent they it's just like a cult my parents were

38:35

vehemently anti piercing as we were living in the woods

38:37

at the time Right. Um, so it was they

38:39

took a tong You know, it's

38:42

like a small little tong. Okay, and then

38:44

this guy who was so hot This

38:47

man was so hot and he had to

38:49

get in like right on top of my

38:51

body or his leverage leverage Yeah, he had

38:53

to brace himself on his musculature had to

38:55

be braced on my physicality And he

38:58

his knee was in my crotch I

39:00

could feel the hot breath on hit on my

39:02

like my like Dewey decolletage

39:05

and I was like Any

39:07

slammed the fucking needle through the

39:09

tongue and I heard a crunch.

39:12

I heard that crunch Mm-hmm. I

39:14

heard that crunch and then I said

39:17

to myself I Am

39:19

gay. Yeah, I knew I was like you

39:21

know, yeah real gay real gay What

39:23

do you think the crunch was it crunch like a carrot

39:26

crunchy? It was like a um Like

39:35

Okay, wait Oh,

39:38

it was like I can only taste it. Yeah. Yeah, it was

39:40

like, um, it was a

39:42

slurpee crunch I got lunch a

39:44

sludge lunch lunch Yeah,

39:46

I've never been able to describe that to

39:48

people a sleepy when you're getting punched and

39:51

you're like, oh This is a very sludge.

39:53

It's just next thing. Yeah, it's

39:55

definitely a sex thing. It's always a sex thing

39:57

How am I always gonna boil down to food

39:59

then? fast food and then sex noises sounds

40:01

and farts. That's what we do here. Okay

40:04

T. How about this though? I

40:06

think it was with a Janelle Monae or somebody

40:09

like that who said everything Janelle

40:12

Monae farted. She slunched. Don't you think

40:14

Janelle Monae should release? She should be

40:16

the person who releases the next Bond

40:18

theme Janelle Monae.

40:21

I'm on this so hard. She should

40:23

be a Bond girl. She should be

40:26

Jane Bond. She should be James Bond.

40:28

Jane Bond. Down She's

40:30

so hot to me. What about this Don't

40:32

Tell Mom the Baby-Sitters Dead remake? I mean

40:34

Mary Deere. You know what? I'm not a

40:37

filmmaker. Okay, so I I don't I don't

40:39

know enough about filmmaking But

40:41

I do think a lot more people should write new

40:44

movies. Why is it this obsession

40:46

with re- What

40:48

is it? defibrillating existing

40:51

IP. I think people don't like where we

40:53

are in the world and they want so

40:55

back to they want to harken back

40:57

to something They remember us safe. Yeah, and

41:00

and I like spider-man, right? So I think

41:02

that's what they think they can do

41:04

they can help people capture that happening, right?

41:06

The world's falling apart So I need my

41:08

um, well, okay the Marvel

41:11

Universe Marvel Cinematic Universe.

41:13

I don't watch cartoons. Okay, I don't either

41:16

So but I did watch WandaVision. Okay,

41:19

and that I gotta say was really good

41:22

I every time I heard the name WandaVision. I

41:25

thought it was like a Wanda Sykes. That's what

41:27

I wore America's best I was like Wanda. What

41:29

is this? It

41:33

does it I love Wanda Sykes I

41:38

do I love her I did too. I actually

41:40

I think I met her but we slunched one

41:42

day you know, we said but um, I Think

41:47

Slunches like I it's like

41:49

supper brunch supper lunch So

41:51

brunch is breakfast lunch lunch and

41:53

slunches lunch supper. It's not like

41:55

a big snack It's like another

41:57

reason for people to put on a drag show during the

41:59

day Now I would fuck up a

42:01

slunch show you would yeah, I'm not dinner

42:04

theater sludge you like dinner salads Of

42:06

course yes, I have a dinner salad garden

42:08

salad But I don't like garden salad garden

42:10

salad But I want big thick juicy vegetables

42:13

and a lot of balsamic vinaigrette Don't you

42:15

dare put any fucking blue cheese on that

42:17

no I hold the space for your salad

42:19

I really do I think when

42:21

you I like when people have a very Pointed

42:24

opinion about what they want to eat because I think

42:27

that you won't fuck it up if they already

42:29

told you what they wanted Stop playing in their

42:31

face like make what they ask. I'm a very

42:33

picky eater. It has cost me a lot of

42:35

relationships You know what you're not picky you're particular.

42:37

I am Discerning

42:40

how that discerning discerning kind of

42:42

I'm a discerning. I'm not a what do

42:44

you call it? Plenty a

42:46

country your country. Yeah, let's take a break I

43:10

24 32 38 and yes, they're real We

43:16

are back with Kathy a What's

43:19

the temperature feeling for you in here? Oh, I

43:21

don't know It's just making me come from every

43:23

orifice in fact every single pour of my body

43:26

is oozing semen hot come I

43:28

love about you that like not a lot

43:30

of people have sperms sperms not

43:34

a lot of the ability to Orgasm

43:38

with a poker face and you're able to

43:40

do that not everyone knows like that's something

43:42

that you get that's actually your superhero Power

43:44

we were talking a little bit about Marvel

43:46

and I think you could Be

43:49

a character called piston. Oh,

43:52

yes, and you would look the way

43:54

you look and you would be having

43:56

these Orgasms without anyone really knowing until you

43:58

got up from the seat. Do

44:00

you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Absolutely. See,

44:04

the thing is that I would

44:06

leave a room, I would

44:08

enter a room dry, and

44:10

I would leave the room soaking wet. But there'd

44:14

be no activity happening.

44:16

None. None. This is the part of

44:18

the podcast where people write in

44:20

letters. Read

44:23

me Delta! If

44:27

you want to send us a letter and you

44:29

want your letter answered, send it to readmedelta at

44:31

gmail dot com. Questions, queries,

44:33

sometimes they need advice. Queries. Queries. A

44:35

lot of people don't use that term

44:37

anymore. I love queries. Will you

44:40

say query or aquary? I would

44:42

say aquarius, actually. Wait,

44:44

I need to ask you. You've been in Los

44:46

Angeles quite some time. My whole life. What

44:50

in the mother hopping hell

44:53

is up with astrology,

44:56

horoscopes? What's

44:59

your sign? And then you say this and then

45:01

there's no further investigation or exploration. That's my question.

45:03

That's what I usually do. I go, when were

45:05

you born? And then people are like, oh, whatever.

45:07

And I'm like, oh, and what sign is that?

45:09

And then they'll say, oh, my sign

45:11

is equinox. And I'm like, oh,

45:13

I'm sure that means something. I don't know. My

45:15

sign is spina bifida. Right. And I feel like

45:18

I should know, but I don't know. I only

45:20

know my shit. Would you? I have

45:22

never. So I'm from the East Coast. I had

45:24

never. Right close to Salem, which

45:27

is the witch town. You know, a lot of witchy things

45:29

going on there. I had

45:31

never encountered such rampant,

45:36

ignorant, flagrant use

45:40

of horoscopes and astrology for

45:42

no reason. It's

45:44

like it's just. You don't like it.

45:47

I like it when I like mythology.

45:49

You know what I mean? Like Greek,

45:51

Greek mythology, Roman. It's

45:54

fun, but like it's just so

45:56

it's so meaningless. Do

45:58

You like taxidermy? Yeah, yeah,

46:00

I've got two giant fucking healer monsters

46:02

in my kitchen right now though. they're

46:05

gonna go somewhere else. But I love

46:07

and will you know it's funny Delta,

46:09

I have to it He just said

46:11

this out loud. I'm. But. I will

46:13

give you this is his place to do it. I.

46:15

Got a huge huge.

46:18

Who are no bore the has a

46:20

tongue out in in i'm big a

46:22

big tusks in ice. The first thing

46:24

I sat at I thought of as

46:27

I. Am plugin stick my dick in

46:29

that thing. Have you not

46:31

yet? I'm not. Crazy. And

46:33

waiting for the right time rise? and well, we.

46:35

But I mean don't you think? that's like if

46:38

you see a big open mouth. What?

46:40

Do you think about. I. Could probably make my

46:42

mouth bigger. We

46:44

were talking about that. likes on you know,

46:46

Big Dipper, Yes, Yes, a small

46:49

tongue. Is. A very small tongue and I

46:51

thought well that he a small features in general

46:53

but he has a small towns because I saw

46:55

him do something in it was like this. Like

46:59

his the L you like trying to go all

47:01

out and you know he boasts that he that

47:03

he fully it's a lot of people oh I

47:05

know know about out we're that all time on

47:07

the podcast it's like take they release about just

47:09

twice a week and microbe on every time. I

47:11

had some more had some or as Marx and

47:13

I'm but I'm like. I want to

47:15

see the tongue out yeah and then it going and you

47:17

know what I think you like? I don't want to see

47:20

like. Mama. Figure is a is

47:22

that rabbi about what s that's good

47:24

for an elevator button right? right?

47:26

you know or like our our to

47:28

order of a twenty son horse where.

47:32

Do we have any horse dramatise years? What is

47:34

up with that were? I mean I know it's

47:36

France for like gimme a break. It's just a

47:38

finger foods right to say finger foods to same

47:41

unicorn dogs. thank you the pigs in blankets or

47:43

get was at. We have to answer this question

47:45

is are diehards dear Delta a classy idea of

47:47

any suggestions for some fun activities my partner can

47:49

I can do together as a couple. Most of

47:52

it's time we just still at home on our

47:54

phones are watching something together. I love. being with

47:56

him no matter what we're doing ah no matter

47:58

where we are and where pretty shy and

48:00

introverted but I like if we had some

48:02

more exciting things to do together. Please share

48:05

your wisdom with me. Love you

48:07

always. Very flower. Very

48:10

flower. I think the

48:13

taxidermy is really a good idea because you

48:15

both have an equal shot at something. You're not

48:17

really bringing a third in in the same

48:20

manner. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. I mean I think

48:22

that's great. I also I would suggest like role-playing

48:25

like a B and E. Okay. Like so you're for example

48:27

I tried to do this with a guy he just didn't

48:29

have the improv yes and skills to go through with it

48:31

but I was like I'm gonna be alone

48:33

in my bed slinky pinwar you know champagne

48:37

teddy mother of pearl toe

48:39

buckle mules on with the pin light softly on

48:41

my hair you know and just like dozing

48:43

off vulnerable naked

48:45

alone afraid liable

48:47

to be attacked and

48:50

he was gonna bust through the door with a

48:52

ski mask on and then ravish me and

48:54

I was gonna scream and you know oh no

48:56

and then you know throw like a base at him

48:58

with like a sugarglass one of course and then chase

49:00

me around the apartment for like three and a half

49:03

hours and then fuck me and

49:05

he ran out of steam girl I'm already out of

49:07

steam see I'm already seen like this this is very

49:09

layered and I think you are I see you as

49:13

a business woman excuse me I do no

49:15

I'm a pleasure woman oh are you a

49:17

are you a delta when

49:19

you do something you love you'll never work

49:21

a day in your life but as a

49:23

business woman you could I heard

49:25

you use a word that not a lot of

49:27

people use but I use a lot and that's

49:29

penwa and the way

49:32

it's spelled is P e

49:34

g noir and that's

49:37

your new item is lingerie called PG

49:39

noir oh my god that's and it'll

49:41

be your line you

49:43

know it's so funny you're I'm not a businesswoman

49:45

in um you know Trixie's always saying you should

49:47

know you should sell some you should sell something I

49:49

don't want to sell stuff I like it you

49:51

don't want to sell it no I want it

49:53

for me right well you can have it for

49:56

you and model it for you and then I

49:58

let other people enjoy what it is no they want

50:00

to release as well. No. They want

50:02

to feel that orgasm without showing people.

50:04

No. You have to. That's what you

50:06

need to do with your partner. You

50:08

need to go to soup plantation when

50:10

it opens back up here in Southern

50:12

California. Soup plantation? You've never been. It's

50:14

a different company. It's called Soup and

50:16

Fresh, but they're opening

50:19

the others. So the idea here

50:21

is that together you should go

50:23

on a trip. Yes. You should

50:25

engage in a little bit of

50:27

bondage possibly. Maybe just go find

50:29

the last blockbuster music and rent. Exitee

50:32

the last block block block

50:34

block. Back with the block

50:36

rock and beat. Yeah.

50:39

Go to a prodigy concert. Right. Go to

50:41

a prodigy. Grease up a watermelon. Throw it

50:43

in the pool. Oh. Have you ever. Have

50:48

you ever. I have but have you

50:50

never. Have you ever. Like

50:52

a. Lit of

50:54

heart? No. Fire? Have you ever. Have

50:56

you ever. Have you ever. Have you

50:58

ever found bones in the human bones?

51:03

I was gonna ask if you ever fucked a dead animal

51:06

but I know the answer. No but I have. I know

51:08

the answer to that question. Which is

51:10

fine. No. Wait. What lives? My sophomore

51:12

English teacher Mrs. Treadwell had mannequins all

51:14

over her three-story Victorian house. I

51:17

lived alone. She lived alone and I bought

51:19

one off her when I bought one off her. I don't

51:21

know how it came to I came to know that she

51:24

possessed mannequins but they're all dressed up in her house like

51:26

dozens of them and I bought one off her for $200.

51:28

Do you still have it? No and

51:30

I don't even know what I did with it but I

51:32

was thinking what is that

51:34

life? A

51:36

spinster. How is

51:38

filled with mannequins? Does she talk to them? Does she rub

51:41

up on them? Does she have conversations with them? Does she

51:43

rehearse all of it? Does she get in fights with them?

51:45

Do they attack her? I

51:47

mean I would wouldn't I

51:49

do I guess is more of the question. I had a mega

51:51

fuck slut once. A giant

51:54

silicone torso headless, armless,

51:56

legless, big fuckable titties,

51:58

huge. It

52:00

was said 25 pounds of hot

52:02

mega fuck action. And

52:05

it was a female body, very

52:07

Jessica Rabbit style voluptuous, huge

52:09

tits, big ass, and had a pussy and an asshole. And

52:12

I fucked it three times and I

52:14

threw it in the dumpster. Did you touch the boobs? Yeah,

52:18

just because. Yeah, it

52:20

was very, you just lay on top of it, I fucked the front

52:22

and the back, and then I was like, I think I'm done. But

52:25

my mom saw the box and I was super

52:27

embarrassed. Why? All

52:30

those places in the woods, you could have hidden that.

52:32

I know, we just don't have that kind of relationship

52:34

yet. Okay, I'm gonna read this letter to you. Dearest

52:37

Delta and Katya, how do you feel about drive-through restaurants

52:39

refusing to provide a straw with

52:41

your beverage? I recently visited a specific

52:43

donut themed drive-through restaurant in the valley

52:45

the other day. When I received my

52:48

beverage at the window and paid for

52:50

my transaction, I noticed they forgot to

52:52

include a straw with my bag. I

52:54

politely asked for a straw, believing and

52:56

accepting I'd likely receive a straw of

52:58

the paper variety gag, but I digress.

53:01

However, to my surprise, I was met with a

53:03

curtain, no, from the employee

53:05

at the window. Love it. Stunned and

53:08

slightly embarrassed, I asked, well, why not?

53:10

And they replied that their location does

53:12

not provide any type of straw with

53:15

any beverage, citing community guidelines in an

53:17

effort to reduce waste. Looking

53:19

first at my plastic cup paper bag, then

53:21

back at the employee, I politely thanked them,

53:24

told them to have a nice day, and

53:26

I drove away. Is

53:28

the burning anger I feel when

53:30

I recall this memory warranted or

53:32

teen too much? Should

53:35

I petition my congressperson to investigate?

53:37

Our straw-less community guidelines vary Delta.

53:39

Love, daisy. I mean, this is

53:41

so clear, this is so cut

53:43

and dry. I think it's amazing

53:45

when anybody complains about anything. Because

53:48

I don't know about you, but I've

53:51

worked so many incredibly, horrifyingly bad retail

53:53

jobs. And I've

53:55

seen it all. And so when somebody's like,

53:57

I don't, you know, this is, I'm like, I'm sorry. Okay,

54:00

yeah. You know, if

54:02

you watch this show or listen to

54:05

this show, I've given this advice before.

54:07

And that is that every time you go

54:09

to any other drive-through restaurant, you ask for

54:12

a straw whether they've given you one or

54:14

not, and you keep it in the driver's

54:16

side door. Because these

54:18

things will happen. And whether

54:21

they wanted to give you the straw or not,

54:24

really is not the issue. They can't do it because of

54:27

community guidelines, so you do kind of have to provide your

54:29

own. Yeah, also, just drink out of the cup, you

54:31

fucking freak. You could just drink out of the cup. Drink

54:33

out of the damn cup. Slunch it

54:35

down. Slunch it

54:37

down. Slunch. Slunch.

54:40

And if you have to stop sorting and

54:42

it goes on your face, that's a comedy

54:44

moment. I think... See, I want

54:46

to go back to the set real quick. I

54:48

don't think they were refusing... How

54:51

do you feel when restaurants refuse to provide?

54:53

I think they were abiding by the rules

54:55

set forth by the city. What about paper

54:58

straws, though? What is that farce?

55:00

What is that farce? Yeah. Paper

55:03

straw? Yeah. It's like, would you

55:05

want some tissue? You want to slurp your sprite up

55:07

with tissue paper? You want to slurp it? Slurp it

55:09

up. You want to slurp lunch it? Slurp down that

55:11

slunch. You want to get slunched? Wait,

55:14

I had a nine-inch cock at my ass the other day.

55:16

Oh, really? Yeah. And

55:18

what was the sensation there? Well,

55:21

it was frightening, and then it was reassuring,

55:24

but then it was ultimately kind of devastating.

55:26

How long would you say it was compared

55:28

to that? Well, this is four inches, right?

55:30

Right. Six. It

55:32

was like... Definitely. I

55:35

mean, it was... I prefer... Call me crazy.

55:37

I prefer a penis or

55:39

a... Gross. A

55:41

cock. A cock. It was

55:43

very large, but I don't like it when they're super, super

55:45

hard. Oh. Do you like

55:47

gummy cocks? Yes. Yeah, if it's larger and

55:49

it's like 75% hard or like 80, 85

55:52

is pushing it, I definitely don't

55:55

want 100 because then it's just like a rigid steel

55:57

pole. And no matter the length, the bus like bangs

55:59

my surface. So I just love like

56:01

a little

56:04

bendy a little like but also I slapped

56:07

it on my mouth or and

56:10

my friend said that's so corny. Corny?

56:13

Yeah, do you think that's corny or do you think it's sexy?

56:15

Corny or horny? I think it's

56:18

kind of corny. Horny. Yeah.

56:20

I don't know. I

56:23

could do that. I could see that. I could see the joy

56:25

in that for sure. Do

56:27

you have sex? It depends on what

56:29

I'm wearing, what fragrance I'm wearing. What

56:32

is your go to sexual, come here, their fragrance.

56:35

Have you ever seen those cigar perfume that

56:37

say Cuba on them? No.

56:39

No, you can buy those like in downtown

56:42

LA. Those are very, very sexual fragrances and

56:44

they're roundish and

56:46

they're only about that tall. Okay.

56:49

You can insert them. Right into

56:51

the pussoir. And it's already brown so you don't have

56:53

to worry about anything. You don't have

56:55

to like not eat all day. From Justin

56:57

and Kelly, from Greater Brown. Right, from Greater

56:59

Brown. From Greater Brown. Um, thank

57:02

you for being here. That's it. That's it?

57:05

I'm not going anywhere. Oh, you're going. No, I'm

57:07

not. Oh, you're going. I'm

57:09

staying. We have to have the couch cleaned. God

57:11

damn it. You know what? There's

57:14

a little stain on there. Oh yeah. Do you think it's warm, the

57:16

stain, or do you think it comes out kind of cold? That's

57:19

for me to know and for you to find out. Is

57:21

this a taste test? I hope so.

57:23

It's like, bus, buguignon. Bus,

57:26

buguignon. Thank

57:29

you so much for watching and listening to Very

57:31

Delta. Our show comes out every Monday. Subscribe

57:33

to Mom Podcast's YouTube channel and turn on

57:35

your notifications so you never miss an episode.

57:38

Also search for Very Delta on your favorite

57:40

podcast apps to listen to the audio only

57:42

version if you just can't take all of

57:44

this beauty. It's a lot to take. It's

57:46

a lot. It's a lot. It's

57:48

a lot to take. But may I just please

57:50

say one thing, you fucking wonderful

57:53

person? I

57:56

despise toxic waste. And

58:00

you heard it here at Vary Delta.

58:02

You can also sign up for

58:04

our premium offerings on Mom Plus

58:06

Gold by visiting mompodcast.plus, where you

58:09

can also get weekly episodes of

58:11

more Vary Delta. Don't forget

58:13

to send all your questions to readmedeltaatgmail.com. You

58:15

can follow me on Instagram at Delta Work.

58:17

Where can people follow you and all of

58:19

your travels? Through the streets and into my

58:21

bedroom to fuck me. Do you put up

58:24

Craigslist, dad, still? I

58:26

can't believe you didn't ask me this first, you bitch. You

58:29

fucking bitch. You do. It

58:32

doesn't exist anymore, Mary. It

58:34

does, you just have to do it a different way. Girl. I

58:36

have a friend that does it. Do you think they're gonna find it?

58:38

No, I have a friend that does it. You're joking. Do

58:41

you know that this wig is wet because I took it home

58:43

the other night to go? She

58:45

puts up an ad for a microwave

58:48

for sale. No, not on for sale. And

58:50

then when you zoom in on the

58:52

picture, there's her ass. Mama.

58:55

I promise you. I'm gonna be in the frozen food

58:57

section at Craigslist. Yeah. Seeking

58:59

a hot, no, a

59:01

frozen turd, microwavable.

59:04

A frozen turd? A microwavable frozen

59:06

turd that can go straight up.

59:09

Your ass, I thought it was the only person who

59:11

ever thought about that. No, it's Mama Germany. Do

59:13

that. Germany, go to fucking Germany. Like a

59:15

chocolate dipped banana, but it's a turd. And

59:18

then you use that. And it pre-lubes you.

59:20

Mama, it's cold and it melts. Thank you.

59:22

It's like people in Berlin, Germany need to just get

59:24

it. How about in Berlin? I'm gonna do it there

59:27

as well. But that's when they take the frozen turd

59:29

and they do the scissor. The

59:31

Berlin. Berlin. The Berlin way.

59:34

Anyway. Thank you so much for

59:36

watching and listening. Until next week, keep things very

59:39

Delta. And God bless

59:41

America. To

59:48

listen to very Delta ad free a

59:50

day early and to get access to

59:52

more very Delta, sign up for mom

59:55

plus gold at mom, podcast.plus. Very

59:57

Delta is produced by mobiles of media.

1:00:00

A.K.A. Mom hosted by Delta

1:00:02

Works, production supervision and

1:00:04

engineering by Margot Padilla, editing

1:00:07

and post-production by Doug Robertson, with

1:00:09

original theme music by Will Pitt, executive

1:00:12

produced by Willem, Alaska, Big

1:00:14

Dipper, Camille Sennes, and Joe

1:00:16

Silio. Nothing

1:00:23

you fucking say matters unless that camera's rolling,

1:00:25

bitch. Oh my god. Mom!