LAW 32: Play To People's Fantasies

You're living a fantasy, whether you know it or not. We all tell stories about ourselves and the world around us, making us intensely vulnerable when someone comes along and bursts our bubble. Or, perhaps worse still, when they tease us with the possibility of making those fantasies real...

Fantasies can be dangerous things, and Law 32 explains why. When we want a fantasy to exist badly enough, we're alarmingly good at ignoring any evidence that exposes it – everyday life can be so mundane or even painful otherwise. But Robert takes no prisoners and goes on to describe the unpopular reality that real success and quality work take consistency, discipline and time... And the reasons why we belligerently go on searching for quick fixes and shortcuts. Needless to say, this offers plenty of opportunities for the power-hungry.

This week's episode includes tales of travelling alchemists, Dre's spiralling 'cheat days', and the online scams which both of your dear hosts nearly fell for. We discuss the psychological reasons why it's so hard to break out of familiar patterns; why trying to live up to other people's fantasies about you can be beneficial; and why those Nigerian email scams just keep on going. We also delve into the way language works; why we tend to believe the present will last forever; and why people who entwine their identities with their jobs are generally insufferable.

We lament the endless proliferation of online coaches coaching you how to coach others to coach you (or something), coin the term Procrasturbator... and Dre promises to get you off, no matter what.

And that's just for starters; this episode is pretty awesome, even if we say so ourselves.

This episode includes:

• How to recognise when people are acting on autopilot and how to deal with their emotional outbursts
• What Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler have in common
• Health and fitness magazines and the fantasies (lies) they tell you
• The importance of teaching others in order to learn things yourself
• Telling the truth is often just a blunt instrument
• The utterly obvious (but deeply unpopular) secret to success
• Blogging scams and money laundering which all too easily play with your fantasies
• The classic illusion we choose to believe: the Honeymoon period in relationships
• Why everything is a fantasy anyway, but is that a bad thing?
• Purpose is a feeling, not a destination
• Romance or reality? Do we have to decide?
• The power of words
• The serious dangers of putting this Law into practice

Mentioned in the episode:

• Our friends over at Diapers Off – a podcast which we produce, all about men, growing up.
• The After Nepal episode: what happened to Jon after a month of meditation in a Buddhist Monastery
• The article on the new edition of Mein Kampf selling like hotcakes
• Jamie Alderton's excellent book, Mindset with Muscle
• The cool cartoon show, BoJack the Horseman
• Show favourite, The Truth by Neil Strauss
• The episode of Sherlock we discussed
• The book Everything Was Forever, Until It Was No More by Alexei Yurchak
• Alan Watts's book, The Wisdom of Insecurity
• Chris Ryan's books, Sex At Dawn, and Civilized To Death
• Steven Pinker's The Better Angels of Our Nature

Challenge: Come up with a fantasy pitch for your business or yourself. How can you shape your message to play to people's fantasies... and how do they react when you do so?

Be silly. Be kind. Be weird.

Join us as we continue our 48 Laws of Power review, exploring Robert Greene’s provocative and compelling book, in which he lays bare the history, practice, psychology, and philosophies of power that ultimately shape all human relations. Often seen as a handbook for the ‘modern Machiavelli’, we take a closer look, beyond the hyperbole, and discuss how understanding and implementing these Laws can actually enrich your life personally, professionally and spiritually.

Jon and Dre aim to get to the heart of each of the Laws, grapple with their sometimes disturbingly amoral nature, and discuss what the Laws mean in everyday life (often revealing their own experiences – good and bad – when they’ve either observed or transgressed them).