0:30

Hey, hey, come on over and have

0:32

some fun with Crazy

0:36

Taxi! My

1:13

name is Gary Butterfield. My name is

1:15

Cole Ross. And you're listening to Watch

1:18

Out for Fireballs, it is a Games Club podcast. And

1:21

this week we're talking about Crazy Taxi!

1:24

It's an arcade driving game developed by

1:26

Hipmaker and published by Sega for arcades

1:28

and Dreamcast in 1999. Eventually

1:32

ported to everything. Yeah, you can play this

1:34

on whatever you got. Yeah, you can

1:36

play a really bad version of it on your phone.

1:38

Mm hmm. Why would you? It's pretty

1:40

bad. Well, you just got to have that crazy fix.

1:44

This is a Gary pick. This

1:46

defies our structure. But

1:48

2024, who gives a shit? I'm

1:51

done with any of that. We

1:53

don't do that anymore. Yeah, we just go. And

1:57

you know, this is really this is what I. I

2:00

can pretend it's not. I love

2:02

this game. This is one of my favorite games.

2:05

This is like a top 50 game

2:07

for me and I wanna talk about it and I

2:09

don't care that it doesn't have a narrative. It's

2:12

so good. It is

2:14

really good, really fun, super

2:17

distilled. Yes, it

2:19

could not be any longer. If

2:21

you added a plot to this, I would shoot you. Don't

2:24

you dare try. Yeah, don't you dare.

2:28

Get your writerly hands away from this, you

2:30

motherfucker. It can't support it and it doesn't

2:32

want to. This is

2:34

probably the form factor

2:37

that I've prepped for this took was

2:39

probably my favorite preparing for an episode we've

2:41

ever done. Just playing

2:44

three or four runs of Crazy Taxi a day for

2:47

the last three weeks and

2:49

just every time consistently getting a mood boost.

2:53

Just having this nugget of fun that

2:57

I could just ingest whatever I wanted to. It's

2:59

so good. It's really good. Every time I

3:02

see this in arcade, I have to play it. I

3:04

get real bummed out when the shifter's broken. Which

3:07

happens a lot. I

3:10

remember like six months ago or

3:12

so, I sent you a Facebook Marketplace ad for

3:14

your neck of the woods for an arcade machine. I'm

3:16

gonna have a taxi for sale. I'm gonna add that

3:18

motherfucker in your garage right now, dude. By

3:21

my neck of the woods, yeah, my uninflated

3:23

garage. Yes, we have an

3:25

unensulated garage somewhere in unincorporated. By

3:28

my neck of the woods, four hours away. Yeah,

3:31

you could have had a Crazy Taxi cabinet in

3:33

your garage. Hey, put this in the back here,

3:35

hatchback coal. Yeah. Yeah,

3:39

so this is, but first

3:42

of all, of course, spoiler warnings. We're

3:44

gonna talk about everything that happens in

3:46

this game and you do

3:49

not want to have it spoiled. Everybody knows you

3:51

pick up a customer, but after that, anything goes.

3:54

You could do anything, you know. So

3:57

Crazy Taxi, you play as a cab driver and

3:59

you have to deliver. customers to their destination as

4:01

quickly and as stylishly and as recklessly

4:04

as possible. Customers

4:07

of Crazy Taxi Incorporated, they want to get there

4:09

fast and they want to almost die. This

4:12

presupposes a world in which a customer

4:15

will give you like a $300 tip provided you get there in

4:19

10 seconds and also

4:22

almost die. You will get paid

4:24

so much money. And

4:27

if you run out of time, it doesn't matter

4:29

if you're going at full acceleration, leaping off of

4:31

a hill, or if they're pregnant, they will leap

4:33

from the common ground. They will leap out or

4:36

if they're oppressed. This

4:39

is an arcade game. It means

4:41

that it's meant to be played in

4:43

short bursts. You play this

4:46

for score. This gets past my

4:48

ordinary aversion playing for score. I play

4:50

this for rank and

4:52

score. Near the end

4:54

of my tenure here, I can consistently get S's.

4:57

I haven't gotten crazy. The higher

4:59

tier, the threshold is twice as much money. Oh,

5:03

you have to make basically $100,000 in a run. Yeah,

5:05

I can't do that, but I can consistently

5:07

get A's and S's. I never get below

5:09

an A anymore. And I

5:11

started when I first started this, I was like

5:14

season D's. Yes. So a

5:16

real, real arc of improvement as I was

5:18

preparing for this. Yeah, yeah. This is firmly

5:20

in that pocket of the cliche, easy to

5:22

learn, hard to master. There

5:25

is a weirdly high skill ceiling for

5:27

this. Very much. While

5:30

still being enjoyable to play on the, if

5:32

you're just kind of jumping, right? Yeah. It

5:34

is fun just to pick up. I

5:38

never got to S's. I

5:42

got a handful of A's that can reliably get B's.

5:44

So. And

5:46

this is also my big caveat or

5:48

asterisk is this is only on the good map. AKA

5:52

the arcade map, not the

5:54

original map from the original arcade version, which

5:56

we'll talk about later. Really

6:00

though, it is a funny one of the

6:02

good map to the other map I think

6:04

is appreciably and scientifically worse. Now

6:07

I'm a sucker for ah you want

6:09

to get these high rankings in those

6:12

rankings are based on as a total

6:14

number of fares that you get to

6:16

hear something that I feel could not

6:18

matter less though I do have a

6:20

choice that I make it says as

6:22

he start by choosing your driver you

6:24

have four options. you got Axel who's

6:26

to have a punt I still bts

6:28

kinda cool guy. You have. I'm

6:30

Gina is cool lady and guess who's

6:33

an older Jimmy and guess who is

6:35

the guy who plays the at the

6:37

cook from wet hot American Summer and

6:39

and sadly and was absolutely yeah see

6:42

stock and veggie kittens Yeah I don't

6:44

really matter at this as of them

6:46

Fear Now I'm sad and I I

6:48

I stands. You know I like to

6:51

find the best. Yeah. I.

6:53

Would ask us man because.

6:55

It looks like a benny from rather

6:58

it. Not true if it's got

7:00

that the kind of I do a

7:02

snob and he and he goes your

7:04

full of energy decision not a thing.

7:06

The Usa a second Quit fifty. C

7:10

So there are differences between these

7:12

cars is the standard differences that

7:14

you find and like a Mario

7:17

Kart, defoe cheaters between acceleration handling

7:19

things like that. I'm. There's.

7:21

Yeah I found these on games acts

7:23

other his listeners was almost conflicting information

7:25

there is gone but information he had

7:28

a mass makes variants know I guess

7:30

is that the other thing I found

7:32

the other is my favorite. Guess is

7:34

as low as acceleration. And been

7:36

really take control right? And I say I

7:38

don't play this game as like a classic

7:40

scheme this doesn't feel a car. Physics. Turn

7:43

way too sharply yes for a

7:45

car and and guess is cars

7:47

really good at that.traveling? sharp turns

7:49

be out. ah I guess at

7:51

I don't know I just said

7:53

like dance Gina first for aesthetic

7:55

reasons butter or you know I

7:57

debate what I read was. Basically

8:00

the equivalent of axel being fast

8:03

acceleration. lose turning right? yeah, it's

8:05

own. Actual was a Mario. In

8:08

in a Bt was static salaries and loose turning

8:10

and then do the might be high top speed.

8:12

Okay I do not remember but they are think

8:14

Mario Kart. You

8:17

know kind of I templates that Oregon

8:19

where for here or there are bios

8:21

India in the Dream Cast manual ah

8:23

they're the most mundane things you've ever

8:25

read. just this guy's see I just

8:27

little in the others had to make

8:29

their make their money I see. So

8:31

this game you dropped in the starting

8:33

point in a city that is kind

8:35

of based on I Can Are Keepers

8:37

and San Francisco Rex on Capitol Hill

8:39

seeking to the sabotage jumps you got

8:41

the up with back. Some things. yeah.

8:44

Yeah. At it then it goes eventually. Awesome

8:46

are like San Andreas or something. It

8:48

goes off into the the unincorporated fear

8:50

San Francisco. Another and then there's

8:53

another map which we not talk about that

8:55

was ah talk about as a nurse we

8:57

are we can talk about it like I

8:59

played up at is just worse Yeah how

9:02

else assessment that I'm so let's talk about

9:04

the controls were dimension of this isn't cart

9:06

and frozen does nothing resembling cars lama butter

9:08

you know so I think it is also

9:11

important a typo. the differences in playing this

9:13

on the cabinet of recently in this on

9:15

entering cast right? Yeah so you know this

9:17

is fast and hectic, You're doing it you

9:20

know. Quick maneuvers, weaving in and traffic. Making

9:22

tight turns. No real serious driving because

9:24

it's happening here. Know gear ratios? Know

9:26

drag? Know anything? really? Yes, yes I'm

9:28

your your car will add turns very

9:31

quickly. ah but does not have that

9:33

I tend to and racing games as

9:35

we talked about a burnout paradise. I'm

9:37

bad. As additional car racing games.

9:40

I didn't stuck in a cycle where I

9:43

overcorrected heard and then I just kind of

9:45

pingpong back and forth year between able to

9:47

the barriers kind of forever. I'm

9:49

and that that's that's the story of me. And

9:51

racing games. License racing games, breath as hear that

9:54

doesn't happen is used are going forward and cracked.

9:56

You also have when the moves or type of

9:58

that the special moves you can do. Strange

10:00

out and point you forward and eliminate

10:03

all momentum to shoot you forward. Not

10:06

the kind of gimmick here is you

10:08

have a gas in a break and

10:10

then you have a reverse and drive

10:12

through stand again for I the feel

10:14

of a stick shift. Yes, there is

10:16

obviously much more simple would you manipulate

10:19

this for I. In order

10:21

to came to the special tricks and then

10:23

also to stop on a dime and to

10:25

start on a dime says yes yeah Philips

10:27

ah I love this. I'm not that not

10:30

not that big of a fan of you're

10:32

driving stake in a game or in real

10:34

life you know I like I learned how

10:37

but it stays at stressful rent cel arm

10:39

but this just like giving you something to

10:41

do with your right hands better not that

10:43

is not shooting a gun which means you're

10:46

not playing lucky and wilde like this was

10:48

the this beyond the arcade racer that gives.

10:50

You that ah of the anyway I

10:52

give you something uses their stick shift

10:55

games and that they're seen as another

10:57

arcade racer. the do something similar to

10:59

this. Yeah Hydro Thunder are putting your

11:01

i hear your throttle on Mac Os

11:03

and a son linger like that. you

11:05

know headers under some of this is

11:07

this is really nice. I like see

11:10

like the Dream Cast version of the

11:12

selected ring Caspers of Driving More. Than

11:14

I already like driving with a wheel very

11:17

much a com but I like the stick

11:19

in the arcade yeah because it's got great

11:21

can statics minutes yet your Simon the

11:23

thing back and forth I have an you

11:25

know be like the it's real timing for

11:28

your time independents ah there's no like half

11:30

way with it knows where it is this

11:32

real fun to commit to it right

11:34

arm and this is carried over others shifting

11:37

as carried over into the council M P

11:39

A Pc versions most recent games that you

11:41

think of break and then go backward artist

11:43

on the same. On on the same

11:46

thing you know like I'll to break it

11:48

up than a stop in anti government that that

11:50

I go backward steer you actually shift gear.

11:52

your break is just saw no matter what. Yes

11:55

whatever Dresdner going on c and this

11:57

allows for have dial a combo. the

11:59

things you can do in order to do these

12:01

specific maneuvers and to give you this feel

12:04

that you have of the fantasy is

12:07

a lot stronger in the arcade. I can

12:09

be very precise at home, but regardless of

12:11

which it emulates a little bit of that,

12:14

you know, fast and furious, putting a car

12:16

into gear and then peeling out. When

12:21

you're just in kind of free row mode, you

12:24

don't have a fair, you see potential customers waiting on

12:26

the side of the road with different colored rings around

12:28

them. And there's strategy to

12:30

this. You know, you

12:32

can, as you pull up to the ring,

12:34

customers, if you almost hit them, they dive out of the way,

12:37

then they will take longer for them to get to your car. You

12:41

know, you want to pull up close to them. The

12:43

color of the ring indicates the distance to their

12:45

destination. More distance equals more

12:47

money, but there's

12:49

also strategy in that as well. Right. You

12:51

can do it. It's related to where you're

12:54

at in the overall run that you are

12:56

doing and also where on the map you

12:58

are. Yeah. And also just kind of, so

13:01

you have a, this will get into this later,

13:03

this all connects. Yeah. It's a deeply complicated arcade

13:05

game and the lore is through the roof. You

13:07

have the individual timer

13:09

that you have for the customer, you know, so you get

13:12

a customer, they get in their car, you have a time limit

13:15

to get them to where they go, but you also have an overall time

13:17

limit that goes down. One

13:20

of the things that you are managing

13:22

in this game is the push and

13:24

pull between doing longer hauls for money,

13:26

shorter hauls because you can get there in very

13:29

fast and get bonus time to your

13:32

overall time. Yes. So you're kind of

13:34

doing, I don't know if it's green or yellow, whichever one

13:36

is the brightest one. The game

13:38

is not very colorblind friendly. No, luckily there

13:40

are, I think there are five colors and

13:42

I only need to know two of them.

13:44

Really? The brightest one for long

13:46

hauls, the shortest one for time. Yeah.

13:49

And the best strategy I found was

13:51

ping ponging between those two. Yeah. It's

13:53

also the case of anytime you're driving without a

13:55

fair, you're losing as well. So

13:58

if all that you have around you is

14:00

the red short distance fares where

14:03

they take you well you're gonna be making

14:06

money on your way there where they take

14:08

you maybe a little bit more rich a

14:10

little bit more rich in a longer distance.

14:12

Yeah, you know fares being a different people very

14:15

likely to get that five bonus seconds. Yes, we're

14:17

doing it. So like there's this layer of strategy

14:19

to it like all good arcade games of

14:22

balancing those two things. You

14:24

can't just go for the higher value amounts. No,

14:26

I can if you're a perfect driver, but I

14:28

needed to top off my time. Yes.

14:31

Yeah. If the passenger timer hits

14:33

zero, they will bail no matter

14:35

what is happening. And

14:37

you won't get any money for that. You

14:40

don't want that to happen because you may

14:42

have wasted, you know, maybe 30 seconds without

14:44

without getting any money for it. Yeah.

14:47

And no time. Yeah, if you get there in

14:49

the normal amount of time what they consider to

14:51

be normal you get two seconds to your overall

14:53

time. If you get there speedy you get five

14:55

seconds. Yeah, overall time. Big deal. Yeah.

14:58

So let's talk about the stunts

15:00

and combos because this isn't something that I

15:03

really engaged with until I sat down to

15:06

play this for the show, right? Like I

15:08

knew that you could get this effect, you

15:11

know, with you know by basically shifting

15:13

into a turn to do to

15:15

do a drift crazy slide.

15:18

Yeah, yeah. But I didn't

15:20

know how many of these there were until I sat

15:22

down and made a run with the crazy box. Yes.

15:25

Yeah, which is like a training ground

15:27

for them. There's

15:29

kind of two different things you'll do. The

15:33

you almost die. So when

15:35

you almost hit things, which

15:38

means you're driving and you're trying to not hit

15:40

things because that slows you down. Not nearly as

15:42

much as any other video game. No, no. Again,

15:44

an arc I get into in a serious racing

15:46

game where you hit something and like you just

15:48

stop. Yeah, you keep going. You have

15:50

to hit stuff. It's not

15:52

sensible taxi. But

15:55

you want to near miss. These

15:57

are called crazy throughs and then

15:59

jump. Which are called crazy jumps would

16:01

you jump over? Cars and

16:03

things now Doing those

16:06

things will give you additional tips, right?

16:08

Customers love this. They basically throw money in

16:11

the air They

16:13

lose their mind. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like

16:15

it's great. And then Gus goes you're full

16:17

of energy Yeah

16:23

So you're doing this and you're building up combos

16:26

and you can keep these going So

16:28

there are stunts that you can do intentionally that

16:31

you know Also really aid in getting

16:33

around the map more quickly It's

16:36

difficult to describe the timing of these like

16:38

what you have to do because it's so

16:40

it's an awful lot of okay Study

16:44

release all the pedals shift and then slam

16:47

on one of them and the different combinations

16:49

of what you're doing In combination

16:51

of steering or not steering with them You

16:54

know creates this result right but

16:57

these are like boosts and drifts

16:59

Yeah The most the thing that is

17:01

the bread and butter for me are the is the dash

17:03

because I will straighten you out and shoot You forward and

17:05

give you extra speed That

17:07

is letting off the acceleration and then hitting

17:09

drive and acceleration. You're supposed to hit drive

17:11

right before it Acceleration, but if you

17:14

hit them at the same time, it also works Yes

17:16

So letting off of drive and then hang them both

17:19

and you will dash forward This will get you out

17:21

of a stop like you always get your wheels If

17:24

you are going for a complete stop and it straightens

17:26

you out. Yes The other

17:28

thing is the crazy drift as we mentioned which

17:30

is drifting, but it's not it's not

17:32

your parents drift It's a little bit different. Look, yeah

17:36

And this is also really big because you change direction

17:38

and you get money for while you're doing this so

17:40

you can do that kind of Thing

17:42

where you are dropping somebody off and you turn the

17:44

cab to be facing the other way You

17:47

know, so you can just cut out of there.

17:49

Yeah. Yeah You know making it

17:51

so you don't have to do a big, you know you

17:53

turn you're essentially doing like a burnout In

17:56

order to rotate your position and then you can

17:58

boost out of that There are

18:00

a couple of other little moves you can do here

18:03

that are not listed. You don't get points for them.

18:05

But for example, if you do a crazy dash and

18:07

you don't hit, uh, if you don't hit forward, if

18:09

you hit a direction, you'll turn

18:11

90 degrees from a

18:13

stop. You can do things like that too. There's

18:15

a lot of nuance into how you control your cab. Yeah.

18:19

Yeah. Uh, you can boost into a

18:21

drift and then boost out of it. Uh,

18:23

it's called the limit cut is what that is.

18:25

And then you can also do this, uh, by

18:28

shifting into reverse and hitting the brake sometimes. You

18:30

can stop on a dime, kind of the reverse

18:32

of the, uh, of the, uh, of the boost,

18:34

uh, or you can just plain crash. Yeah.

18:37

Yeah. A time tested way

18:40

to stop. You know, I really, I nearly

18:43

failed my driving test because I didn't do the

18:45

crash into the KFC. I know it's worth a

18:47

lot of points. You

18:50

know, uh, they marked not full of

18:53

energy. Okay. So

18:56

you do this to build your combo so you could do more tips.

18:58

Uh, and if you hit anything, it resets your

19:00

combo and your tip boost, uh, little, little tip

19:03

for this game, at least in, in, you know,

19:05

I'm not a crazy driver, but I don't pay

19:07

attention to this. If

19:09

you stress about it, you're going to die. You

19:11

just play the game. Like this is a real flow

19:14

state game. Yes. Um, you know,

19:16

you're going to hit stuff. It's fine. You try

19:18

not to obviously, but like, don't look at a

19:20

number. Yeah. Like by any

19:22

means, never consider an actual number other than

19:25

your time. What happens to

19:27

me? Uh, if I start

19:29

sweating, the combo is I get

19:32

real anxious. I get real on my head and

19:34

I stopped taking risks. Yeah. And this is a

19:36

game where you want to be taking risks. Cause

19:39

the clock is always running down. Yeah. You

19:41

cannot play this game conservatively. Like there are

19:43

different play modes, which we'll talk about where

19:45

you, you could. You know, like

19:47

take more time, but I tend

19:49

to prefer arcade mode where you, your

19:51

time is dependent on how you're playing.

19:54

So I need to constantly be like, I'm a shark.

19:57

Yeah. Complicate moving or you die. Keep that

19:59

meter. Yeah, yeah.

20:02

So when you have your fare and you're approaching

20:04

where they want to go, you know the the

20:06

tower records and whatnot You're

20:08

gonna be guided by a green arrow at

20:11

the top center of the screen. This is This

20:14

was so innovative. That's like a patented it. Yeah,

20:17

which is weird I always get weirded out

20:19

when game companies patent something like that, you

20:22

know, I can't count an arrow. No The

20:25

this is the reason why so this is

20:27

pretty good as a guide. It's

20:30

not perfect There have

20:32

been huge strides in racing games about

20:34

like letting you know when turns are coming up.

20:36

Yes This is the reason why the second map

20:38

is worse than the first map Mm-hmm

20:40

the the first map has the second map

20:42

has way more situations where the arrow will

20:44

disappoint you forward through a block And

20:48

one way around the block is a lot shorter than the other Yeah,

20:50

and the arrow gives you no guidance You

20:52

can sight read the first map the second

20:54

map you need to memorize more right and

20:57

for if that makes sense as an arcade

20:59

Get a console concern, you know, they know

21:01

you're gonna spend more time with it. I

21:03

don't find it as fun, right? I want to get in a

21:05

flow state. That's where I'm reading the

21:07

game Yeah

21:11

So you approach the destination and

21:13

the place where you need to stop is going to be highlighted

21:15

by a green grid This is

21:17

you know, these very inside depending on what the

21:19

destination is This is where your stunts to you

21:22

know slide into a direct stop

21:24

or do your stop on a dime Will

21:26

help you out. Yes, I'm there

21:28

and they and they help them out and then

21:31

you start over again You get your

21:33

fare that's added to your total and you get the you

21:35

know time bonus if you're playing in arcade mode Which you

21:37

ought to be because that's the best mode. Yeah,

21:39

and then you go and continue. Mm-hmm There

21:43

are different modes as you mentioned arcade mode you start with a minute

21:45

and you gain extensions by performing well there's

21:48

an isolate use of use thing if your

21:50

Passenger time limit is higher than your overall

21:52

time limit your overall time limit will increase

21:54

to that Yeah, so if you have

21:57

10 seconds left and you pick up a long-haul passenger, you'll

21:59

get all the time time to get them drop them

22:01

off. This is also a good strategy. If

22:03

you're very low on time this will end up

22:05

netting you time through that. You can also play

22:07

for as much money as you can get in

22:09

either three, five, or ten minutes. Ten minutes of

22:12

this game would exhaust me. You

22:15

know, when we talked about this earlier,

22:17

how this being an arcade game that lasts

22:19

exactly as long as it can and supports

22:21

exactly what it can. The

22:23

world record for this is like two hours and 15 minutes

22:25

or something. That's like a softies

22:27

brother film. I can't

22:30

handle the two hour hardest hack that would

22:32

be playing the world record of Crazy Daxby.

22:36

You know my neck gets sore playing this? Yeah,

22:41

I couldn't do it. I much prefer there to

22:43

be a natural limit and most of my games

22:46

end up lasting four

22:48

or five minutes. Yeah,

22:51

I like the arcade rules. You start with one minute

22:53

and then it extends by

22:55

you picking this up. Three or

22:57

five, that feels too optimizable to

22:59

me actually. It'd be good for

23:01

learning the map. Like if you

23:03

want to cruise around and take this

23:05

more seriously than I want to take it, I guess. Yeah,

23:08

I don't want to take it very seriously. No,

23:10

it's crazy. Now, it's a crazy taxi.

23:15

You get a license rating at the end of

23:17

your round from the up

23:20

through Crazy. I think it is.

23:22

This is based on how much money you brought in, which

23:24

of course is a measure of how

23:26

you know your overall driving when you had your

23:28

fares. You also get a ranking.

23:31

Yeah, there's a grade but then it also says what

23:33

your 21st, something

23:35

like that. The relationship between those

23:38

two things need not be specified. You

23:42

learn the map, that's a big part of this. You're

23:44

not on a course. So the

23:46

game models the city. It has traffic and

23:48

shortcuts. As the game goes on, there will

23:50

be more traffic. But

23:53

the destinations are all in fixed places. It's

23:55

a little bit open world but you can also find routes.

23:57

Yeah. The

24:00

natural flow will send you through the map. If

24:03

you don't go to the most immediate fare,

24:05

sometimes it will send you backwards. Yes.

24:07

Areas of comfort. And

24:10

some of these things are set. Like

24:13

I found consistent backtracks to

24:15

them. Some of them also

24:17

feel randomized. They may randomize at a certain

24:19

level after a certain amount of time has

24:21

passed. I don't know the mechanics under the

24:23

hood for it. No, by the way. But

24:25

knowing the map is more than just knowing

24:27

the geometry, it's also knowing the pickups and

24:30

destinations and the relationship between each other.

24:32

You can do a circuit of the city in

24:34

this. And you can basically go infinite that

24:37

way if you figure it out. It's

24:40

very satisfying. And remember, this is 1999. There

24:44

were computer games that modeled the big open city.

24:46

You had your Simcopter. You

24:49

had Carmageddon and whatever. But having

24:52

this in an arcade felt amazing.

24:54

Yeah. Especially

24:56

with how fast you could get around it. And

24:59

just how quickly the game ran. It

25:01

was really neat. Very much so.

25:05

So the arcade map, which is the original map, not

25:07

to be confused with the original map, which is not

25:09

the arcade map, is the range like. The

25:12

North Library is south of the quad. Pier

25:15

2 over there by Pier 99. You're

25:19

thinking about the bus 2A. Is

25:21

it arranged like a circuit? It

25:24

is down these San Francisco hills,

25:26

down to a shoreline, those little

25:28

island, lighthouse. There

25:30

is a heliport, baseball stadium, things like

25:33

that. Then they give you

25:35

original map, which does not mean the original map. It

25:37

means a map they made for just this originally. It's

25:40

a horrible failure of importance. I

25:42

love it so much. This

25:46

is bigger and more dense

25:48

with drivable surface area. But

25:51

there are fewer desks. Right. There

25:53

are fewer destinations. This is not a

25:55

big circuit. This is one that

25:58

you're meant to crisscross in a bunch of different ways. ways.

26:01

The thing that I hate about the original map

26:03

is that fucking freeway. Yeah, it's

26:05

really obnoxious. There's a little freeway in the

26:07

arcade version as well, but it's

26:12

pretty deep into the map. You

26:15

can play whole games without getting to it, and

26:17

it's a lot easier to get onto and off of. The

26:22

console ports have something called Crazy

26:25

Box. Don't stick your dick in it. It's

26:28

playing right there, but you don't have to pick

26:30

it up. Sorry. Sorry.

26:38

A series of these

26:40

challenge minigames that

26:42

don't teach you how to do the

26:44

stunts by having me. Nope. No, they

26:46

just require you to do them. There's

26:48

a very misleading little press start for

26:51

help thing that will give you patently

26:53

incorrect advice on how to do that.

26:55

Press start to get made fun of to

26:58

get a misleading Castlevania II. These

27:02

will be ramp jumps, breaking a

27:04

certain number of balloons, drifting into bowling pins,

27:07

things like that. How long can you

27:09

drift for a certain number of seconds? When me and

27:11

my friends played this, when I was college age, when

27:13

I lived in the big college party house, we played

27:16

the regular game, passed it back and forth, but we

27:18

also were trying to get through all of these. That

27:21

was a real like, give me a try, give me a

27:23

try. Eventually I'll lock them all. When

27:26

you do them all, you get a petty cab. Does

27:30

that control any differently? I've never played with a petty

27:32

cab. To the degree that any of

27:34

these control differently, you don't have to

27:36

tap a button to bump your feet or anything. It's just a skin.

27:38

I remember unlocking

27:42

it. I remember when I was

27:44

younger playing this, the Crazy Box seemed really cool. On

27:47

this run through, I played through them, but

27:50

I just wanted to play the actual game. Getting

27:53

those little markers did not, the mini games were not super fun

27:55

to me. No, if

27:57

they were actual mini games, that'd be

27:59

one thing. But in a good at

28:01

being tested on knowledge that you do not

28:03

have ah ease it's a week. it's a

28:06

weird and unpleasant feeling are way more demanding

28:08

I the actual game is yeah like you

28:10

don't have to learn how to crazy dress

28:12

you have to crazy dressed for. Like.

28:14

Fifteen seconds or yeah you know just

28:16

to say and in this tiny little

28:18

box news is very small little arena

28:20

three different amp are doing very tight

28:23

lights and to clean out drift off

28:25

of these ramps on to very small

28:27

us to it You know that either

28:29

that stuff's yeah if it was like

28:31

to do fear monkey ball style stuff

28:33

that was more of a like celebrated

28:35

her mechanics as opposed to slap you

28:37

on the wrist for not knowing something

28:39

I didn't tell you I would be

28:41

way more in favor of these I

28:43

think so too. Did It ends

28:45

up working out as a pass the controller. Concern

28:48

which is this is one of the

28:50

all time best pass the controller games.

28:52

Oh yeah that is very fun. And.

28:55

Bet that is the that is the

28:57

dust form factor for. Better.

29:01

Or will sort of of the effects of

29:03

this. Ah, zoonotic. Somebody took nineteen Ninety Nine

29:05

and bottled it. This is so I suffered

29:08

a severe. It is very Ninety Nine for

29:10

all the good and ill the citizens of

29:12

this. I do think this is when people

29:14

who are not me are very nostalgic for

29:16

the dream cast. Ah this is the thing

29:18

I can see. Yes you know there

29:20

are a lot of games that people get

29:23

like Power stone and I'm like man I

29:25

didn't like that game and then returning the

29:27

not and I wasn't months i but this

29:29

is that is very bright It's super td.

29:31

Ah it. Is move very

29:34

fast, very smooth slam. It's

29:36

it is very simple, fun, Dot.

29:38

Like this to me feels like the best

29:40

argument for that recast. The out. Of

29:43

there's just something about the way puts polygons up

29:45

on the screen. Young you know as to say

29:47

you'll be you'll look at us in you say

29:49

yes this is dream cast or to me this

29:51

is that particular era and it's like a doing

29:53

what I put. I like Saga doing you know

29:55

him like that. The thing about them that as

29:57

a it's the best which is this kind of

29:59

our. arcadey action kind of

30:01

stuff. Very much so. Especially

30:06

in the arcade, this is a

30:08

game that moves very fast and

30:10

very smoothly. The performance of

30:13

this when you sit down and play it on

30:15

the original machine is phenomenal. It's

30:18

a little bit chunkier on the PC and console ports.

30:23

Not unplayably though, but a little

30:25

bit less smooth. A little bit less impressive. A

30:27

little bit. The soundtrack for this game is very

30:29

famous. There are only seven songs

30:31

on it. It's three offspring

30:33

songs and four bad religion songs. What else

30:36

could you want I guess? I

30:38

actually hate the soundtrack to this. I'm

30:40

not going to all of a sudden not be a music snob

30:42

just because I love this video game. What

30:45

I will say though is it's really appropriate. Yes.

30:50

I did a very funny thing when I played this. The

30:53

Steam version of this comes with,

30:55

we'll talk about them bastardizing the soundtrack.

30:58

And somehow making it worse. There's

31:00

a mod that fixes the physics and puts in

31:02

the original names for things. But does not fix

31:05

the soundtrack you know it says it does. I

31:08

looked elsewhere to fix the soundtrack. It is a

31:10

bespoke file. The game is three. What

31:13

I did was took out all

31:15

of the new punk songs and

31:17

just put in offsprings all I want. As

31:20

the only song for the game. It's

31:23

not even the full song of all I want. They're

31:25

doing like a Tony Hawk one thing. Where it fades

31:27

out after a certain amount of time. Yeah I just

31:29

had that going over and over and over. So

31:32

every minute and 30 seconds you're getting the yeah yeah

31:34

yeah yeah yeah. That's all I really

31:37

needed. Even the other offsprings songs are pretty obnoxious.

31:39

And it's all these songs

31:41

from Ink's Nay on the Ombre. Fucking

31:44

offsprings gross. But

31:47

yeah that song the yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

31:49

is you know very crazy

31:51

taxi. Yeah it is. They're

31:54

one and the same right. Yes yeah

31:56

you know just like that what is

31:59

it. The man is one

32:01

on the same with a don't ask

32:03

don't younger brassiere, the Iginla with and

32:05

everything. Else. Ah

32:08

I'm I'm a little bit more sunny

32:10

on the soundtrack on this newsletter. That

32:12

appropriateness for it goes a long way.

32:14

Also, been outside. I like it when

32:16

about religions on pops up Some we

32:18

were different ages. yeah in eighty Ninety

32:20

Nine Down In was high standards. Energetic

32:22

and energetic punk pop kind of stuff. Now

32:25

guess it It had it's I was. I

32:27

was over it by now but I was

32:29

also can I was in our over everything

32:31

because I was thinking necessity citizens are you

32:33

don't know judgment I just know it Also

32:35

ah spring did pretty pfeiffer white guy like

32:37

there are no no was gonna say it's

32:39

it's terrible You can come back from that

32:41

we can't pay enough for one offspring is

32:43

done in hers is as being like one

32:45

of the most embarrassing that song like I

32:47

defy you to like Listen to it No

32:50

no it's awful. Yeah, it's it's just it.

32:52

It ties. Your. Stomach into a hour and as a hell

32:54

I will. I will not give it to your baby. Yeah,

32:56

it's every. Every part of it

32:58

snows your parts of wage. Anyway,

33:05

So ah, that's on the original.

33:07

Ah the Bachelor was in an

33:09

offering soundtracks saga when they went

33:11

to put more money out of

33:13

this. decided to reduce costs and

33:15

they did not to worry license

33:17

those tracks. Ah, so instead of

33:19

when you get these later ones

33:21

including the money can buy on

33:23

Pc right now you get songs

33:25

by such musical institutions. As pivots.

33:27

To. Rude and total chaos. Yes, I'll

33:30

be forty six that I please you

33:32

as just like around with it. It's

33:34

not to me like again, I'm a

33:36

music stop. It doesn't even. but they're

33:38

not appreciably worse. Thirty Plus Appropriate. Be

33:41

at least don't sound like late nineties. Pop.

33:43

Punk, The An. Arm and I

33:45

would be lying if I said a part of the

33:47

appeal of playing this wasn't the nostalgia. Yeah,

33:50

that's mans. You must have to

33:52

worry rags. Yeah, smother hand your

33:54

connection a pop back up. Now

33:56

I'm getting there was really notable

33:58

but as I is that. Real

34:00

life product placement, Your

34:03

definitions were real Things like pizza

34:05

at Kfc revise store at our

34:07

records the out of like that

34:09

lab those were taken out. To

34:12

him like Peter King and some spouse rat

34:14

you can mother back in as well. Down

34:18

the aisle to the with the result, models, the

34:21

code and the voice lines for that are all

34:23

stole their lives, the I got some it. On

34:26

there's a mod you can find its

34:28

on the Steam community page of your

34:30

plane. This on p Seats are the

34:32

crazy. Taxi overhaul of this will bring

34:34

them back Yeah Arm if you happen

34:36

to love the Offspring and are intensely

34:38

loyal to the yum brands genius or

34:40

of food restaurants yes I said previously

34:42

Pepsi and what have you sit at?

34:44

The final bit of that, the aesthetics

34:46

that we have to talk about is

34:48

the narrator. Oh yeah, who is

34:51

actually key to this man? The attract

34:53

mode for this is aggressive. In the

34:55

arcade it just screams at use yeah

34:57

you join the Navy the whole time

35:00

like a digital rate has gone crazy.

35:02

Taxi It is one of the loudest,

35:04

massive noxious cabinets and the entire world

35:06

only outer than the music. Oh god

35:09

yeah he's in the smell that you

35:11

the whole time. And then when you're

35:13

playing at home you know I don't

35:15

need to be tracks. I bought the

35:18

game I see are t still. Says

35:20

everything. You know that that's going on

35:23

at including these these soft yo nagin'

35:25

you when you don't do very well.

35:27

Yeah I so adding into this arc.

35:31

Narrators telling you you're not my goodness

35:33

neoprene that he for tell ya bronze

35:35

right decisions that are suffering reads a

35:37

de vito After going to conferences not

35:40

bow I would have done it but

35:42

not that good at it. As a

35:44

now you can also have a decrease

35:46

Heskey I go and let the best

35:48

you can do since. Last. Dot

35:53

Wolf man just. A

35:56

little man guy who for a snack

35:58

over here. It

36:00

is It out is fine when you get him to

36:02

say good things about you. Oh yeah I would you

36:04

get A and S ranks it's like up and I

36:06

did a different for Death depicted as. I

36:10

hope and teacher isn't a good

36:12

boy say or he's great. Oh

36:15

man I'm is or if you're a gamer

36:17

the aesthetics. I went ahead, I know it

36:19

and then we just kind of yeah we

36:22

talked about it as a I had a

36:24

very fun saying fun is hard to talk

36:26

about. Your. You know, as

36:28

as a thing it's hard to quantify

36:30

slam. India. Is just there's

36:32

it. overall Jewishness to this. Now if you

36:35

missed. I. Will be curious if this is

36:37

a thing that somebody can pick up. In

36:39

Two thousand and Twenty Four and so

36:42

have fun with without House Thousand. I

36:44

want to say yes, because and feels

36:46

very elemental. It feels like a Pac

36:49

Man level kind of elemental. just fondness.

36:51

Yeah, and I don't know that be

36:53

true about. It. Depends on how

36:55

many other places they have seen this idea.

36:58

You're. Young answer is our knock on

37:00

wood was all about as well. So the i'm

37:03

yeah that would be an interesting things that people

37:05

to write him about. Sales. If

37:07

you try this in in your of our lord

37:09

two thousand twenty four and you're like what the

37:11

fuck ios talking about snail let us know what

37:14

didn't work for you up that the you and

37:16

there was especially like as it again it's hard

37:18

to quantify the drink as times there is a

37:20

certain amount of razzle dazzle that this hit you

37:22

with their for me definitely set in our my

37:25

and you know that first impression counter for a

37:27

lot. Not Just and Katarina semi arcade and be

37:29

a my it's geared kind of head over heels

37:31

for it but also wait you mean I can

37:33

play this at home to when it's basically the

37:36

same yeah I'm. You know that was the

37:38

that I was rarer than it was was it

37:40

was a thing that I it was almost a

37:42

second wave of that. The rights to

37:44

that was a big thing early on

37:46

in you during Paris doing God's work

37:49

on and yes, works talking about arcade

37:51

conversions guess that you know would happen

37:53

and saw them would be very very

37:55

accurate and that was just early mindblowing

37:57

thing. I feel like at the stuff.

38:00

Generations of that Neo. This is the thing

38:02

that came back after Street Fighter. guess I

38:04

was a thing I felt for free fighter

38:06

on the Super Nintendo like holy shit this

38:09

is just street fighter soon as I can

38:11

play at home and then that had kind

38:13

of a fallow period. the eyes in so

38:15

you'll that feeling for a while and then

38:18

came back with this gear civically. Even though

38:20

I didn't their other Dream Cast or kid

38:22

ports by didn't play those meal around I

38:24

didn't did have they are to experience this

38:27

did. this was always Segars thing to a

38:29

certain degree. Just try to make this arcade

38:31

parity. It was pretty much the entire sales pitch

38:33

with a fatter. The. Are you know

38:35

to the by where they would like when

38:37

you bought one at they were just give

38:39

you out or co fighter split your final

38:41

virtual cop and Daytona right? Yeah Ok here's

38:43

your live arcade Dark Eight ohm can open

38:46

their arms now it's something we're done with

38:48

the episode be some talk about weed out

38:50

the the and that that Sarkozy Wilberger to

38:52

move into development. Yeah this is going to

38:54

be one of the sort of boss was

38:56

I going to be the all time sort

38:58

of sauce yes I'm so the studio the

39:00

Me: This hitmaker ah he is kind of

39:02

the brand name of for Sega Am Research

39:04

and Development. Number Three or Am Sweeps

39:06

Amc was the more famous of these

39:08

studios that were internal to Sega. that

39:10

was the one that was headed by

39:13

you Suzuki a developed kind of the

39:15

earlier more cutting edge arcade games like

39:17

Hang On and Space Harrier in the

39:19

eighties than Virtual Fighter, Daytona Usa and

39:21

the Nineties. Am Three's a bit of

39:24

a weird or studio ah man am

39:26

I to Egypt. They had some racing

39:28

games they had are some nice stuff.

39:30

they had horse racing team hims disobeyed

39:32

little bit more goofy. In. Both

39:34

Nintendo and Sega. This. Is like

39:37

the The Are indeed to. Yell at her

39:39

the other warriors did you ever

39:41

as Nintendo they make better stuff.

39:44

Like if I'm looking at hang on Space

39:46

Harrier Virtual Fighter in Daytona since in Daytona

39:48

arguably stands up. Deal. You

39:50

know but I'd like. this is

39:53

the more interesting of the the

39:55

studios here smith's else the up

39:57

some. i couldn't find

39:59

corroboration this but I'm reporting it

40:01

because it's wild. I saw this too

40:03

if this is true. It would have

40:05

changed my entire trajectory of my life.

40:07

Either getting me into the hated dog

40:09

or maybe not play this game. Yeah

40:11

I saw this listed in the

40:14

trivia section of TV Troops. There was no

40:16

citation. I did searches, every search that I

40:18

could try to think of to pull

40:21

this up. I couldn't find it elsewhere so grain

40:23

of salt the size of

40:25

a boulder. That says crazy

40:27

tax we began development in

40:31

1996 as a licensed Disney tie-in

40:33

game called Goofy Taxi. It was

40:35

developed on the Model 2 arcade

40:37

platform at that time same chipset

40:39

as Daytona USA, Virtua Fighter 2.

40:43

And it was tied into like the Goof

40:45

Troop movies. Yes that

40:47

would have been very different. It would have been a very different

40:49

pill for me to swallow. I will say I

40:51

would not have done it for the show even if I knew

40:53

it later back in the day the presence

40:55

of Goofy would have stopped me from suggesting it because

40:58

I don't want to talk about Goofy. I want to talk to

41:00

my friends AJ.

41:03

I don't care for Goofy. I

41:06

hope this is not true but if it is true we

41:08

live in the correct universe. Something

41:10

good happened a meteor hit us and knocked us into alignment.

41:14

That license lapsed if

41:17

we believe that story. AM3 decided

41:19

to reuse that concept restarting

41:22

in 1998 as they were working on the Naomi

41:25

chipset. Which was a real big deal at the

41:27

time. Basically just the same

41:29

as Dreamcast but with more memory, stronger

41:31

processor. We

41:34

talk about Sega always wanting to have their arcade experience at

41:37

home. This is as close as they've been at

41:39

this point. That's how you got House

41:42

of the Dead 2 day and date. All these

41:44

things that were you could play at the arcade

41:46

decide that you liked it and then get basically

41:48

the same thing if you decided to spend all

41:50

your corners at once to have it at

41:52

home. The producer for this game Kenji

41:55

Kano led this project

41:58

with kind of this minor goal. of making

42:00

something that deviated from what was then the

42:03

standard kind of equation you know about value

42:05

trade which was 100 yen you know roughly

42:07

one dollar for three minutes of play this

42:10

being a kind of a return to this

42:13

form of well you you play for as

42:15

long as you're good right yeah good you

42:17

get more you get more value out of

42:19

your money endurance-based I've been watching a youtuber

42:21

that's been talking about arcade ticket retention redemption

42:23

games and the phrase they use is

42:25

for these are endurance based models

42:28

yeah so Sega applied

42:30

for a two US patents for technology I

42:32

mean the game the direction-pointing arrow and

42:34

the tech that made the pedestrians jump

42:36

away from the car that's right Sega

42:38

has intellectual property for self-preservation

42:41

non-slaughter yeah so anytime you jump

42:43

out of the way of a

42:45

car you owe Sega and that

42:48

bill is coming hmm yeah no it's

42:50

it's taken out of your estate when you

42:52

die yes Texas yeah

42:54

so this was hit makers most successful

42:57

game by a lot I did really

42:59

well in the arcades got ported to

43:01

Dreamcast many other systems mm-hmm and it

43:03

was huge I think we're originally going

43:05

to make a movie with Richard Donner

43:08

yep love that

43:10

it would have been wild to see that

43:12

Richard Donner director of Superman yeah well

43:14

Richard Donner is also is he gremlins

43:19

I think in this right yeah

43:22

Richard Donner Richard Donner's gunis

43:25

yeah gunis lethal weapon that's why yeah

43:28

there we go yeah so yeah that would have been

43:30

really crazy I'm gonna be in 2021 or 2001 that

43:32

sell through not 2021 that's

43:36

the way I've had it although

43:39

this for me it's still was still rolling around

43:41

yeah I got optioned a bunch of their properties

43:44

for TV and film in 2014 that's

43:47

where we got the sonic movie yeah ultimately

43:50

getting started and going through so

43:52

who knows this would make a very if

43:55

they did this what I would want one

43:57

for it to be is like a saving the rec

43:59

center kind of thing from the like

44:02

rideshare corporations or whatever. From Lyft.

44:05

Yeah. Crash into Lyft. It

44:09

would feel like, I feel like there have been a lot

44:11

of movies that are similar to this. Yeah, yeah. That have

44:13

kind of come out, they're just about, you know, wildly

44:16

driving around the city, called like, I don't

44:18

know, I haven't seen the movies, like Rush

44:20

Hour, stuff like that. You know,

44:22

maybe. Yeah, yeah. There's

44:25

also that, what, that Joseph Gordon Levitt, Premium Rush,

44:27

there we go. Yes, Premium Rush. Yeah,

44:29

I mean, and like, for as little story as

44:32

there is here, like, making a movie that is

44:34

entirely just a chance for

44:38

big dumb car stunts. Like,

44:40

time in memorial, right? Yeah, it's been a

44:43

minute, too. Blues Brothers. Well, I mean, and

44:45

then Fast and the Furious became not that.

44:47

Yeah. Yeah, that's big dumb

44:49

helicopter stunts now. Yeah. There

44:53

are also sequels to this game, sequels and spin-offs. Crazy

44:56

Taxi 2 came out in the Dreamcast for 2001. It's

44:59

at New York City, aka the Small Apple, something

45:02

to call it. Has a new mechanic where you can

45:04

carry multiple customers at a time, which is kind of

45:06

a risk-reward. You have to

45:08

deliver them all to get your money, but if you

45:10

do, you get, all your tips are multiplied. They each

45:12

tip you. It's not as good.

45:15

Yeah. Nothing

45:17

that came out after this is as good. Yeah.

45:20

Kind of period. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's

45:23

a lot of trying to re-bottle it. Yeah, I

45:26

tried on Crazy Taxi 2. That

45:28

pick up, picking up multiple fares is

45:30

a neat idea. It's

45:32

just the map isn't there. Yeah, the map is

45:35

good. And

45:37

this is not just our opinion. Even the

45:39

Crazy Taxi Die Hard community, this

45:41

is the opinion. Yeah. Sega

45:44

left the hardware business in 2001 and

45:47

started working with Microsoft in the Xbox

45:49

era. That's why you have

45:51

these real weird Xbox-only, your Toe Jam and

45:53

Earl 3, whatever that

45:56

Panzer Dragoon was they put out there. It's

45:58

kind of a weird era. Sega wanted to

46:00

develop for anybody for a new

46:02

competitor, not somebody who fucking drove

46:04

them into the ground like Sony or Nintendo.

46:08

And so they started working with them as Microsoft

46:10

was developing their Xbox Live service. The

46:13

team began working on Crazy Taxi Next,

46:16

which was going to be a multiplayer version that

46:18

had like a day night cycle kind

46:21

of deal. That eventually was scrapped, didn't

46:23

pan out, but that was worked into Crazy

46:25

Taxi 3 High Roller, which

46:27

has the maps from the first two games

46:30

plus a new Las Vegas map. That

46:33

is, if you can play it, that is considered to

46:35

be a great version to play because it has the maps from

46:37

the first one. And the Las

46:39

Vegas map, I've never played this version, but

46:41

Scuttlebutt, this is better than the New York map. They're

46:46

also portable ports. I played

46:48

the PSP version. Did you? This

46:50

actually, yeah, back in the day. It's

46:52

not very good. The draw in kills it.

46:56

It's kind of impressive looking, but like a lot of PSP things.

46:58

Yeah, yeah. The

47:01

most misguided one is Crazy Taxi Catch

47:03

a Ride, which was for the Game

47:05

Boy Advance. Now you think, okay, portable

47:07

system, basically a Super Nintendo.

47:09

Yeah, it'll be an overhead. It'll make it

47:11

a Chinatown Wars. Yeah, make it overhead. Make

47:13

it simple. Go, no, no, they didn't do

47:16

that. They didn't do that. No, this

47:18

is the like, it's chunky faux

47:20

3D at basically seven

47:23

frames per second. It's really rough.

47:25

I fired this up and it

47:27

was galling. I couldn't believe what

47:30

they tried to do with that. It is

47:32

a middle finger to God. It

47:36

is the kind of thing that gets you smoked. There's

47:38

a whole class of paladins that are trying

47:41

to strike this cart down. They're

47:43

on their way right now. So

47:47

in 2010, Crazy Taxi saw a little bit

47:49

more in mobile. There's a game called Crazy

47:51

Taxi City Rush in 2014, which is a

47:53

Temple Run game. You can no longer get

47:55

that, like all mobile games.

47:59

There was also, I never... I tend to

48:01

play that crazy taxi tycoon aka

48:04

gazillionaire Which released

48:07

in 2017, which is a business sem? Yeah,

48:09

I know Trying to compete

48:11

a rideshare company you're not really doing very

48:13

much crazy taxing. No, no, you're kind of

48:15

running a crazy dispatch I

48:22

mean, please Laka was a mechanic along with

48:24

Reverend Jim Nick Natowski. Okay, I don't watch I

48:27

just wanted to pull one of the characters. Okay Good

48:31

Lord. Don't walk. Don't walk

48:33

into my house. I'm not gonna watch

48:35

your grandpa TV, man. I'm still young and Yeah,

48:40

I never played that but you can also

48:42

just download now crazy taxi on your phone.

48:44

It's not very good No, don't do it.

48:46

It's a colorometer steering. Yeah, if you attach

48:49

it to a controller, which I think you

48:51

can it'd be Yes, but

48:53

just on the actual phone. It's no good, but

48:55

I did the show for funzos Yeah, put it

48:57

in that up in it in a backbone, you

48:59

know get that color death straining backbone. They're from

49:01

they're releasing. Yeah Yeah,

49:04

so you get that ports the most

49:06

recent crazy taxi news is From

49:10

the game Awards last year in 2023 Sega

49:14

Got up there and because that's a

49:16

big commercial showed this kind of trailer

49:18

But it was mostly a CGI medley

49:20

for this new initiative that they're doing

49:23

Which is to kind of bring back

49:25

and revive these long dormant franchises This

49:29

includes crazy taxi right

49:31

now Nobody knows if this is going to

49:33

be like a standalone game

49:35

for each of these or if it's going

49:37

to be them trying to Do like a

49:40

fortnight metaverse NFT thing God only knows what

49:42

they've got what they've got in them But

49:44

crazy taxi is not a completely dead concern

49:46

right now The the wish casting

49:49

I would have would would neither be a brand

49:51

new just crazy taxi game nor a NFT Fortnight

49:55

nightmare. It would be like a Atari

49:58

50 cure

50:00

remixes of all these classic movies.

50:04

Like you buy a compilation that's just called you

50:06

know Dreamcast All-Star or whatever

50:08

and it's just remix of

50:10

the five really good arcade Dreamcast

50:12

games or what have you. Games

50:15

of this era. Dead properties. It's a real

50:17

bummer that Atari bought Digital Eclipse because they would have

50:19

been the perfect people to do that. It would have

50:21

been great. And I wouldn't trade Atari

50:23

50 for anything. No, no, no. That thing's super neat.

50:25

But the you know, I want every company

50:28

to get that kind of legacy treatment basically. That kind of official

50:32

preservation is super cool. Sell me

50:34

a museum please. There

50:37

are knockoffs including one real big

50:39

one that's real weird that you know, but for the

50:41

grace of God we could have done. The in

50:44

2001, Radical Entertainment, Fox and Electronic Arts released

50:46

The Simpsons Road Rage which

50:49

is just crazy taxi starring The Simpsons and

50:51

in Springfield. Yes. That was

50:53

the basis for what would

50:55

eventually become Simpsons Hidden Run

50:58

which we did for the show, misguidedly. I

51:00

forget if that was a patron demand so

51:03

I apologize. The game's rough. I

51:07

don't understand the nostalgia for it. They became the basis

51:09

of these are separate games. So Road Rage

51:11

is more like Crazy Taxi. Hidden Run is the

51:13

GTA. Yes. Which we did. We didn't do the

51:15

Crazy Taxi one which might have been fine. Yeah,

51:18

I haven't played it in a really long time.

51:20

Yeah, but it was Crazy Taxi. And

51:22

it's 2001 right when Crazy Taxi was kind

51:24

of all of the rage. This resulted in

51:27

a lawsuit. Sega sued the developers

51:29

and publishers for infringing on their intellectual

51:31

property of, you know,

51:34

I don't know specifically what it was but

51:36

presumably, you know, Milhouse dived out of the

51:38

way of a car. Now

51:42

Milhouse dived out of the way of the car twice.

51:45

Those that are old rate. Get

51:48

off my property. Get

51:50

off my IP. Get off my intellectual

51:52

property. What a

51:54

specific meme we've just verbally crafted. I know,

51:56

right? Um,

52:00

they sued. Yeah.

52:04

And they couldn't keep that up. You

52:06

know, there were too many. This broke containment,

52:09

right? And we don't know. We don't, uh,

52:11

so it, uh, settled out of court. Like

52:13

EA and company did end up paying money

52:15

for this, but, uh, you know, it

52:18

is unclear, uh, for what, but like,

52:21

this, this is ultimately the legacy of

52:24

crazy taxi, uh, which is this

52:26

idea of, you know, picking

52:28

people up and dropping them off and kind

52:30

of a checkpoint based, you know, version of

52:33

that for time extension, like this went from

52:35

being a game to being a feature. Yeah.

52:38

Well, there's also still games, right?

52:41

Like, so there's a game called taxi chaos and

52:43

a game called death taxi 3000. Uh,

52:46

both of which are spiritual successors

52:48

to crazy taxi ones, uh,

52:50

just straight up. And then ones at a cyberpunk

52:52

world, but they are as

52:55

actionably similar as Simpson's road rage. Yes. So like

52:57

this, this can be a feature that supports the

52:59

game. It's also a thing that you do in

53:01

GTA every once in a while. That's what I

53:03

mean when it, when I say it goes from

53:05

being a feature to a game to a feature,

53:07

right? Like, you know, this kind of becomes a

53:09

mini game and other stuff. Yeah. And

53:11

not a very good one. Uh, there's like a thing,

53:14

you know, one of the things in GTA five, there's a

53:16

mini game where like you're, uh, I

53:18

think you're on a plane, but they're like, do

53:20

a bunch of things where you, you'll do a

53:23

bunch of crazy throughs, uh, to, to scare your

53:25

passengers, you know, almost hit stuff. And it's like,

53:27

you don't have the support and structure for them.

53:29

No, no. Um, it's

53:32

a, it's a, it's a, it's a good driving model that

53:34

you have in that game, but it is not crazy taxis,

53:36

the driving model. Yeah. Yeah. And it's,

53:38

it's again, that focus like this is, this is a

53:40

game, one of the, as we're wrapping up, this is

53:42

one of, to my mind, one of

53:45

the best examples of a game that

53:47

you cannot add to or subtract from,

53:49

um, you know, similar, uh, we

53:51

had like a dispatch prompt we didn't have doing

53:53

maybe we will in the future about perfect games.

53:56

And that was, uh, the way that question

53:58

was postured was more like. what is the game going

54:00

for? And my definition

54:02

of perfect game, which

54:04

I lifted, just was influenced by a YouTube

54:06

critic named Matthew Matosis who talked about Tetris

54:09

this way. And Tetris is not

54:11

necessarily the best game, but it's a perfect game. You

54:13

can't take anything away from it or add anything to

54:15

it. If

54:17

it were three block pieces or five block

54:19

pieces, it just wouldn't work. I

54:22

think Crazy Taxi is very similar. When

54:24

you add or subtract to this, and

54:27

you can see it as you play Crazy Taxi, it

54:29

gets fucked up. Adding

54:32

the different play modes, nothing actually works quite as

54:34

well as just the arcade mode. If

54:37

you were to add a story, if you were to add

54:39

a real gear shift, if you were to add power-ups, Crazy

54:42

Taxi 2 adds jumps to it.

54:47

It's not necessary, it doesn't work with

54:49

this. And they kept trying

54:52

to, and that's kind of, it's one of the

54:54

tragedies of art and sequels.

54:58

You have to make a new one, you have to do

55:00

something new, and this

55:02

doesn't want anything new. No, no,

55:04

anything additional you do compromises the

55:06

wholeness of it. Yeah, it's a

55:09

very svelte and perfect kind of

55:11

thing. And

55:13

again, for what it is, right? Somebody can be like, oh,

55:15

I don't like this driving model, it feels bad to my

55:17

hands. I can't do anything about that.

55:20

That's just saying that you don't like

55:22

how cucumbers taste. You

55:25

just don't like how it feels, that's fine. But

55:28

in terms of just an experience, this feels very pure to me.

55:32

This will stay installed on my computer until I die, now

55:35

that I've reinstalled it. This isn't going anywhere.

55:37

It's very small, and I'm gonna pick

55:39

it up every once in a while because it's super

55:42

fun. I

55:44

love this little portable pill that I

55:46

can take to have a little bit of fun. It

55:48

is just a great way to get a little boost.

55:51

A crazy boost. An absolutely crazy

55:53

boost. Also,

55:57

for my sanity, it is avoided. This

56:00

course like nobody's been like you

56:02

can't have crazy taxi that table Have

56:06

it What

56:12

have you started it If

56:15

we real careful what you speak into existence, yeah Effect

56:19

the dark side of the Waffa facts Yeah,

56:23

short episode we warned you they would happen they

56:25

will continue to happen Just

56:28

so morale approves. I mean it

56:30

I understand that some people don't mind them. Some

56:32

people don't like them as much It's just

56:34

very limiting to What

56:36

we can talk about. Yeah, we talk

56:39

about things with narratives, right? You

56:41

know things are worth talking about even when they're not No,

56:44

no, I'm absolutely and I am

56:47

always down for stretching the format, you know,

56:50

yeah, me too Yeah, if

56:52

you have anything to say about crazy taxi if

56:55

you would like to write in please write in at

56:57

Ducky TV slash contact if you have anything to say

56:59

about crazy taxi on a vowed Pony

57:02

Island or Age of Empires 2 now To

57:05

let you know what we're gonna be covering on Age of

57:07

Empires 2 just so we can

57:10

set expectations for it Both

57:12

of us have played the the tutorial and

57:14

then both of us are going to play two of the campaigns That

57:17

come with a definitive edition and then some skirmishes Way

57:20

too big of a game to cover in its entirety Yeah,

57:23

so there's that it just takes time like I I'm

57:26

enjoying the game I think I'm maybe a little warmer

57:28

on it. Yeah, but it does

57:30

it's time consuming. Yeah, sure. Yeah

57:33

So those are the those are various

57:35

games Marches games if

57:37

you have thoughts about those those are tear down

57:39

part to The room

57:42

those iOS and now

57:44

theme like room escape games And

57:46

then our premium episode is going to

57:48

be spider-man miles Morales That is also

57:51

right in to duck V TV slash

57:53

contact by Gosh

57:55

March March the 15th. Yes. If you have

57:57

thoughts about multiple games, please separate them into

58:00

multiple responses that makes our job possible.

58:02

Yeah. A couple of people have asked about the room since

58:04

that is a really short game. We will be talking about

58:06

the series game generally where it goes. We're just not going

58:09

to cover every game in it. Yeah. You

58:11

know, that will likely be a little bit of

58:13

a format stretch as well, but we want to

58:15

talk about different kinds of stuff too. If

58:17

you like the show, head on over to

58:20

patreon.com/duckfeed TV to get a bunch of exclusive

58:22

content. This month's bonus episodes. So

58:24

Age of Empires 2, next month's Spider-Man, My

58:26

Old Peralis, all of our past bonus episodes

58:29

and whole bonus shows. Yeah. You

58:31

get all kinds of stuff. Like our

58:33

show about Baldur's Gate 3, Crazy Tabaxi.

58:36

Yeah. No,

58:38

real rich hours. I

58:40

like that. Usually when I can hear you cooking

58:43

something, you know,

58:46

I'm like, okay, you've been cooking this one

58:48

for a little bit. No, that one got

58:50

me. You got to get a surprise. I

58:52

like it. You're going to make some crazy

58:54

money on Crazy Tabaxi. Yeah.

58:57

You can listen to that. You can also listen

58:59

to our show on horror movies on Filmable, which

59:01

is a network favorite. Higher tiers

59:03

get you adaptation decay. That's

59:06

real fun. We got a real weird one for

59:09

you this month that you probably have not heard

59:11

of, but is good. Yeah. We put out a lot

59:13

of stuff there and we think it is good value.

59:15

Just five, five, 10 bucks a month, you

59:18

know, 250 a week. Tons

59:20

of stuff. So much stuff. Cool.

59:23

Well, Braden's reviews, all of that,

59:25

you know how to help out a show. Primarily,

59:28

we want you to join us in thanking our

59:30

producer, Gwen. It helps us put out these episodes.

59:32

Thank you, Gwen. Yeah. We

59:34

very, very much appreciate her. And

59:37

until next time, what should they watch out for?

59:39

Cool. Watch out for somebody who's got energy. Thank

59:55

you. Thank

1:00:31

you.