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This Stewart pet.com to learn

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more that as T E

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W A R T pet.com.

2:18

Said. Oh

2:31

hello and welcome to what Would Grow Up

2:33

and the podcast Role That grub. We love

2:35

the joke about. On the

2:37

all broth I'm Ronnie that's been over

2:39

there have been hi how are you

2:41

good Welcome to You're so behind everybody

2:44

welcome Were so excited to be Here's

2:46

another below deck them with got a

2:48

new crazy person on board so that's

2:50

always fun. We

2:53

are going to be at the Netflix

2:55

is a Joke Comedy Festival this Friday.

2:57

minds at the Kookaburra Alarm so come

3:00

see us nine thirty. Were doing a

3:02

House hunters recap of going to be

3:04

super fine transfer. It's about nudists. We

3:07

think we think that's what we're

3:09

doing and armed men were going

3:11

to London Dublin Am. Birmingham.

3:14

And that's gonna be. Towards. The Enemy

3:16

so come see those says we're so excited

3:18

to come see everybody out there a case

3:20

he can get tickets at watch ah crap

3:22

as.com It's also where you get these videos

3:24

league and are bonus episodes of and or

3:26

from Villa and that lots of other stuff

3:29

to go check that out and today here

3:31

we are with below that oh. Okay,

3:34

okay below deck.

3:37

More. I can't believe that below

3:40

Deck Med is coming up around the corner. As

3:43

she says them and we all have to

3:45

assume right to be already talk about this.

3:48

We'll have to assume that this is Gary

3:50

Kings fault that we are not getting blood

3:52

excelling Max. I just have to assume they

3:55

probably had to receive the whole season season

3:57

because you know he on trouble. Ah tour.

4:00

Being I'm a limited

4:02

resource, Disgusting human. A

4:05

straight up sexual assault. So fuck that

4:07

guy. Also by the way I'm I'm

4:10

that if this is just reminding me

4:12

fuck ban on this show, fuck him.

4:14

Sought left, right and centre. Okay and

4:16

I don't mean that literally cause like

4:19

literally don't wanna touch him with attempt

4:21

at all. But this guy and what

4:23

you know. here's the thing. Is

4:26

used just as bad as Gary if

4:28

you ask me. He's just as bad

4:30

arm and Gary is like it's merck

4:32

of Gary as both grow circus you.

4:34

The coup that he blew did live

4:36

live live live at which is like

4:38

rose but least Gary also has like

4:40

like and his it when he is

4:42

off the clock as an awesome a

4:45

lecherous clock key can be like a

4:47

charming to people that Ben can even

4:49

be charming and stuff like or like.

4:51

This is no upside for this person

4:53

I'm not that may sound more than

4:55

is be problem area. Also. More professional

4:57

on Dec if that makes any sense

4:59

like his stuff takes place so I.

5:02

Did. It did in the after hours

5:04

or he's mostly the pig windows

5:06

on Dec. He's like actually kind

5:08

of profess like is not massaging

5:10

people. You know what I can

5:12

see. I don't mean actually does,

5:14

does it a little that bad?

5:16

but I do. The resident really

5:18

from Gary. I mean obviously Gary's

5:20

accents ultimately were more disgusting a

5:23

you know then his haven't done

5:25

the stomach area is accused of

5:27

yet yet but I'm. Yeah,

5:29

I don't remember Gary of are coming

5:31

up on massaging people buy. It seems

5:33

like he acts one way at night

5:35

and then the next season. went with

5:37

Fresh or Zoo bow Tie cloud salesroom

5:39

allowable would what was Yeah and you

5:41

know I just think that like Ben

5:44

probably gets away with it a little

5:46

bit more because he's not as like

5:48

outwardly presenting of a slime ball as

5:50

Gary is birds armless as I just

5:52

wanna say to people. Ben

5:55

is terrible. Absolutely. Terrible

5:57

on he was awful This episode out he

5:59

was yahoo. The Orange or of them

6:01

All But I would like to think

6:03

this episode for reminding everyone including Ben.

6:06

Did in actuality he's a pathetic fucking loser. Him:

6:08

it was really famous to see him get put

6:10

in his place today and for that I never

6:13

thought I'd say this. Thank. You

6:15

Camille and gifts a point

6:17

where it's something something Camille

6:19

doesn't hear often. On

6:21

boats great work necessitated good

6:23

at. Melbourne,

6:26

darling. Bar right? Well let's dive

6:28

into her. Sally. Yes!

6:31

so ah my let's see or something

6:33

we need to apologize for. We missed

6:35

crowd Dick Sought last week. I can't

6:37

believe there are two of us on

6:39

this show and both of us missed

6:42

the Big Donkey Dick on Kyle So

6:44

Say showed an inherently. Had enormous

6:46

that's and oh no, I guess we were.

6:49

Excited by other things happening on

6:52

a boat like ah, I'm. Garbage

6:56

Collector and sweeping recession? Whatever

6:58

else happens in the world

7:00

of blowback? Yeah

7:02

well I'm looking at it now and I

7:05

still don't feel there should be. I should

7:07

be able to search right now below deck

7:09

cause deck sought and something come up but

7:11

nothing comes up my come on internet really

7:13

a good way I can I'm actually no

7:15

at night I did see that shot I

7:17

do remember that saw that he has a

7:19

couple on Boehner we just forgot to mention

7:21

on the so I think it was like

7:24

during the infrared and he's like walking and

7:26

those next year's going to the bathroom. While

7:28

I did not see at M I just

7:30

I would like to think I have. Better

7:32

observation skills when it comes to be

7:34

old but apparently are down south fab

7:37

anyway. Sorry audience. We should have talked

7:39

about it. Okay as Milliyet live at

7:41

Mousers. Ah I'm at now.

7:43

Cows on top of Barbie, giggling and bad is

7:46

right now is the good times guys. Member

7:49

when farming regret anything and everything.

7:52

Was just happy when she forgot

7:54

about her dreams of converting to

7:56

Orthodox and decided to let her

7:58

freak flag fly. On about

8:00

the Grenada. She's. I

8:02

can't We can talk about sex on

8:04

be a mother Fucking conservative. Juice The

8:06

I'm If it's it's it's it's it's

8:08

it's just like Snow Chemical. Really good

8:11

is. no conservative is not nearly as

8:13

bad as it's not as orthodox as

8:15

even more if orthodox as is orthodox,

8:17

As like orthodox as hard core. Sort

8:19

of is right in a medic. Yeah know,

8:21

How acidic us and I think is

8:24

that it's you can be orthodox and

8:26

artistic, but if you're acidic, your orthodox

8:28

I beliefs, but either. She

8:30

is fully later. She's a planning

8:32

on going like she's She's ready

8:34

getting the settles, but then before

8:36

she does that though, she's like,

8:38

you know what? I

8:41

want to point Kyle: are you want more power to you.

8:44

Mean. Is and on how you

8:46

like. Like some residents and city they just

8:48

send you out and to the world without

8:50

religion that sense you out to the world and

8:53

they're just like do drugs and fuck him

8:55

cinema here from spring and you to sin you

8:57

never come back or you can choose you

8:59

know. Farming.

9:01

And Beards in Ghosts or whenever

9:03

the hell's going on around us,

9:05

violence or whenever they be of

9:07

those are the Amish people and

9:09

they send their they send their

9:11

used on Rum Springer. This is

9:13

all of course when I learned

9:15

one million yen reality show Rum

9:17

Springer from the mid aughts yes

9:19

which was by the way a

9:21

great great show and I'm. This

9:24

a reboot that? I mean that was

9:26

back in the de ser de de

9:28

experimental days of reality tv awareness. But

9:31

when Craven executives were like, why don't

9:33

we put a bunch of Amish people

9:35

on Tv They won't have any idea

9:37

what's happening. Expectations

9:42

Delicious. Levy America so on and

9:45

they're like and bad kissing and

9:47

staff and say I'm a guy

9:49

and enjoying the new not jumped

9:52

twenty eight years old. yes silly

9:54

girl says I slammed mean do

9:56

I can So our. Area.

10:00

Very very fucking conservative.

10:03

Zebra Mussels Her: so

10:06

I'm. I'm barb

10:08

his leg and she's like hits disease

10:10

like of I didn't feel well set

10:12

up. do you really wanna Varma right

10:14

now is a near just know said

10:16

he'd are so we're not eating so

10:18

to oh yeah near shaft as money

10:20

exciting cause Anthony was fired by the

10:22

way For anyone who missed last episode

10:24

ah yes he he got the boot

10:26

because he was failing miserably and he

10:28

would mess up some late night lots

10:30

of grill she is and that was

10:33

you know the the fatal mistake but

10:35

he made. So.

10:37

Then we cut to the kept him to

10:39

have done on my favorite captain things they

10:41

do on a cell with an exit. The

10:43

captain makes the loudest curie kenneth everybody on

10:45

the boat cause he's the captain since he

10:47

puts his coffee analogous. know. Some.

10:51

People Causes curious some people call

10:53

it. As

11:02

so a Darby's like on my wanting some

11:04

your room i wanted somebody or watermelon but

11:06

not like that because he's like eating the

11:08

watermelon. yes it's like a wedge of watermelon

11:11

and just eating it in the standard way

11:13

that people he watches the watermelon what have

11:15

you home and literally eat it with your

11:17

hands you hold it. What is what the

11:19

fuck Barbie like I get that you're pretending

11:21

you're cause playing of like some little rich

11:24

girl written people eat watermelon with their hands

11:26

to happen she is acting like he's Daryl

11:28

Hannah and splash eating a lobsters who the

11:30

shell know used to. It's a normal. Is

11:32

watermelon seeds like services Every

11:35

watermelon now. Now

11:37

she's looking for ways to be like oh

11:39

my god as as as a little mistake

11:41

they she's trying to create separation. It's so

11:43

cause like I did reach new risk a

11:46

long time no time she's been driving driving

11:48

seat up in the passenger just get out

11:50

like a lost puppy night and like you're

11:52

in the passenger seat chasing her. I

11:55

hate to break a to you bet your the

11:57

passengers in the same car for at introduction to

11:59

her your. Regard. Ama.

12:03

He is like not saying i'm always get

12:05

what I want but I'm pretty adamant Pretty

12:07

pepsis them to this thing as many hours

12:09

in his words as they can't miss and

12:11

twits an hour for know if is hop

12:14

or bidding watermelon seeds and my face while

12:16

you speak. So

12:18

he says well we're all thinking watermelon

12:20

needs to be eaten with their hands

12:22

and set to as yourself or I

12:25

Now and so Fraser comes down and

12:27

is like oh did he to have

12:29

a sleepover did you make sweet sweet

12:31

love Yes or no yes oh now

12:33

and then married enough sex and Fraser's

12:35

like did he touch his we nonsense

12:37

know a stab at am sending as

12:39

well. We like working and it's called

12:42

a hand job for a reason. Because.

12:44

It's work ha ha. I thought

12:46

half either does and he said

12:48

well Barbie hates working and and

12:51

pan job as a job or

12:53

about says he didn't wanna do

12:55

it. But. Actually a five year

12:57

ssssss idol better for a success. Somewhere in

12:59

the middle lives the truth but we are

13:01

too lazy to go back and see what

13:04

an ass as a lazy to even go

13:06

see a big fat big the that was

13:08

on tv one speck me to go back.

13:11

Zach this religion and rewire for that. Fitness

13:14

is. So sunny come than

13:16

and then a dozen to says

13:18

his mattress and is like. To

13:23

say so metres ah you saying

13:25

that you're building right now? I'm

13:27

just asking ah Mrs during us

13:29

experian monologue type thing alone in

13:31

his room was a cool mattress.

13:34

Why? Would I do such a thing? I know

13:36

better than to do such a thing to have.

13:38

I'm two accidents. And. To come for

13:40

this. Am I not an address and current

13:42

Dallas? did I always read a study last

13:45

night he has like a lot of her

13:47

read about trying to kiss on a but

13:49

I think it's only because he's like I

13:51

knew. I suppose I even tried to do

13:53

so without wiping off that color of lipsticks

13:55

first. i

13:59

should have put on to the sink and then tried to kiss her.

14:01

Lord only knows how fat I would be if I

14:04

tasted that lip gloss. It smelled like tangerines.

14:07

A sugary, sugary

14:10

fruit. So

14:12

yeah, his thing about trying to make

14:15

out with Sunny was pretty ox. I'm

14:17

assuming it was trying to get revenge

14:19

on Ben. But

14:21

also it could have just been that like,

14:23

you'll fuck Ben, surely I have a chance.

14:25

You know? Right. I

14:27

mean, I guess that just means you're

14:29

up for grabs. Either way, pretty gross. Yeah.

14:32

Because he's doing it. So

14:34

then Ben joins the crew mess and he's

14:37

like, so Bobby, in my cab and we

14:39

heard someone opening and closing doors very quickly.

14:41

Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,

14:44

bam, bam. And she's like, stop

14:46

it. Stop, stop plaguing

14:48

me. My Ben hates

14:51

drawers. Don't talk about drawers. We never had

14:53

to deal with drawers going up. My dad

14:55

insisted that my nanny is still at. Yeah.

14:58

I was 23 before I even learned what a drawer was.

15:00

I always thought it was like the person who hired a

15:02

draw things for you. And then when I was like living

15:04

on my own, I discovered there were these like things, these

15:06

boxes that were in a bigger box and turns out they're

15:08

called drawers. Now

15:11

Dylan and Ben are outside working and Dylan goes, you know

15:13

what you should do? You should slap

15:16

me, bro. He's like, no. Okay, then

15:18

don't slap me. He just walks off

15:21

and Ben's like, glad I didn't make

15:23

him lead. Time

15:26

for a zoom meeting. All right, everyone. I

15:29

want everyone working on beds this morning, assuming

15:31

you haven't already been. Porked

15:33

on one. Is that American slang thing? You're

15:36

porked on something else. Referencing you, Barbie. Let's

15:39

not work on beds as hard as Barbie

15:41

worked on her bed with Kyle last night.

15:45

If you need some help with something,

15:47

ask your teammates except for Barbie, because

15:49

she's busy on a different job as

15:51

Zandy audience, her blowjob, handjob, whatever job

15:53

you want. Remember, we're

15:55

the strongest and we're the best and we're the

15:58

cutest. I love you all. Now

16:00

get back to having sex

16:02

with Kyle. That was Bobby directed specifically.

16:06

So then we get a rap song for the

16:08

show. Yeah, the rap song. It's like, I'm

16:11

the best and there's no test in this. Keep it

16:13

100, I was bred for

16:15

this. And then he's approaching it. I

16:17

love a rap song for like a

16:19

super white bread blonde guy. Yeah.

16:22

Coming tight, capri pants coming up

16:25

the walk. He literally, he

16:28

looks like just like a white

16:30

tombstone. And so he, I

16:33

come from the street and now they call

16:35

me king. And he's like, hello. Hello,

16:38

I've been looking for 20 years. So

16:40

yeah, I'm in charge of

16:43

pasty. I'm sorry, I meant pasty

16:45

as well. He

16:48

literally looks like Barney Rubble. Like

16:50

it's not one of those things. Yeah, that's what

16:53

I said. I said he's a Barney Rubble with

16:55

Fred Flintstone energy. Oh yeah, I see that. Like

16:57

he's got a Fred Flintstone complex but he looks

16:59

like Barney Rubble. I wasn't even taking that from

17:01

you, Ronnie. Like I, it's like, and

17:04

the thing is this, we're not the only two who

17:06

probably thought that because it's just, sometimes

17:08

we say that, oh, this person's like a Barney

17:10

Rubble because they have like the essence of Barney

17:12

Rubble or they just, there's some element. But this

17:14

guy literally looks like Barney Rubble. The ears, the

17:16

face, the hair, the shape, everything. Clearly.

17:21

So he's like, hello, I'm Nick.

17:23

I wear tight shorts jeans and

17:25

man bangs and man, I

17:28

don't know what I said, man bags. Oh, cause he has a

17:30

man bag and man bags. And Ben's like, have

17:32

you been in yawding for a while? And he's like, I've been

17:34

a chef for 20 years. I think I lost

17:36

my mind a long time ago. Fred. Maybe

17:40

I talk to myself, then I have a few

17:42

picks. And I go a little crazy sometimes, but

17:44

I'm harmless crazy. I'm not gonna murder anyone. Go,

17:46

go, go, go, go, go, go. And he starts

17:48

chugging a red ball, which as we all know, is

17:51

the sign of a fucking crazy person. They've never

17:53

shown a not crazy person chugging the red ball

17:56

on TV. Yeah. Fraser

17:59

Sees Sunny. Who's already met the

18:01

shop and he just system persons and

18:03

she was old. Older. His

18:05

ex: How old? Like hot daddy

18:08

or sad daddy? That

18:11

I don't know I am Susan

18:13

neck is says up and forty

18:16

say that all the some our

18:18

heads and listen. Said this

18:20

before, said a million more times. I can't

18:22

wait to follow you on Instagram Second Watch

18:24

of slowly Eight the rest of your life

18:26

smells the Goodman's the good news as I

18:29

get to watch has Aids. The bad news

18:31

is. I'm. Always can be older than

18:33

you and this turned out to be way more

18:35

depressing than a city Ben Ben. Continue.

18:38

Will knickers forty. He's the ripe old

18:41

age of fourteen, so his life is

18:43

essentially over or he's almost are all

18:45

I'm I'm singled sand Forty. My asshole.

18:47

You're not forty years old, sir. Okay,

18:50

Yeah. Forty five that if you're a day. Eat.

18:54

Now. Let's. Be honest so ah

18:57

he says he's using it's is

18:59

something that his me through new

19:01

ex wife to know kids is

19:04

why why look so useful ah

19:06

i'm I the she. Did.

19:09

Was he did casting know what they're

19:11

doing? They. Hired a guy

19:13

who has no child. Like and

19:15

part lauderdale. What? Exactly.

19:17

Are you sure you're not just

19:20

ignoring your child? Somewhere

19:22

suggests last Scar Tampa. Have

19:24

you checked any databases to

19:27

find out if you have

19:29

a child somewhere but in

19:31

Alaska for lot of our

19:33

me. That sensitive Philippines.

19:36

Dissonance. Is just one. know those with

19:38

a hot spots as the below deck hundred

19:40

miles for children In fact about money is

19:43

so the cops like good. I like good

19:45

to have. The last sip was amazing. Couldn't

19:47

read a preference. Say don't mess up your

19:49

timing. I'm not here to teach yeah to

19:51

cope. I'm here to lead adventures or meteor

19:53

interior have a good time. Do not fuck

19:55

up. Please worry about plating and know may

19:57

whore Adam going to tell you some hilarious

20:00

stories later. Prepare for that the main times

20:02

kitchen. it's in shock. As good at walks

20:04

that you had a masseuse. And one less

20:06

thing. He sounds last

20:08

was of course thrill No means

20:10

good luck in Texas. So

20:14

ah, also an electronic form of cole

20:16

slaw. at least that's what Aim for

20:18

me Said on his way out of

20:20

here this was going to eat. It

20:23

didn't work. so no electronics Co fluoride

20:25

back east law and these holes or

20:27

get to work that was much off.

20:30

almost went out. Bought. The

20:32

way real quickly que je na

20:34

seals. Kelly stirs. Serious.

20:36

Side during a Nice Billie Your Miss and

20:39

Ansari another forget I'm not speaking english them

20:41

and asked if the to not able to

20:43

cure egg. Time

20:49

just wander and. Squishy

20:51

for my girlfriend and turkey's. Okay

20:57

says them. Ben wanders into the

21:00

mess hall am he's very a

21:02

very bad actor so he's like

21:04

some I think I'm gonna look

21:06

at Mozilla. Found a well on

21:09

it. And. Their the camera

21:11

just hovering over it to get

21:13

the close up of the saw.

21:15

Is that how Goss can mail

21:17

Actually like he can't believe to

21:19

that Camille is on his phone

21:21

even though he just posted something

21:23

while he's on Dec. Like any

21:25

one of questions for me que

21:27

in a on Instagram? Yeah and

21:29

then he's He's down there in

21:31

the crew mass acting like he's

21:33

in the sixth grade production of

21:35

Hamlet. like suiting up against the

21:37

the raft going to kill. you

21:39

know, i mean it was

21:41

so over the top and truly

21:43

observe his hostesses posting other content

21:45

on his story about camille and

21:47

he posts like a picture of

21:49

him and camille and you know

21:52

that like a lovely picture like

21:54

she's hiding him from behind yeah

21:56

like remember the day miles like

21:58

a happy couple cousin One

22:00

of the questions on the Q&A is, where

22:02

are you in Camille now? Are you just

22:04

friends? And so he says, you'll find it.

22:06

Do you time being coy while posting pictures

22:08

like they're in love? Yeah. So

22:12

Ben tells us, you know, being back on

22:14

board is taking a stroll down memory line.

22:16

I mean, Camille and I had a spark

22:19

and we were kids in love, I'd say.

22:21

I'm like, but you've been on this boat

22:23

for like six weeks and

22:25

now you're suddenly getting nostalgic for Camille?

22:27

Come on. I

22:30

know it's very, but this is what I believe

22:32

I was thinking when they first got together in

22:34

the first place. This is the first time Ben

22:36

has ever been fuckable because he's a guy on

22:38

a TV show. And I think that everybody feels

22:40

like they have to be fucking on a TV

22:42

show. So especially on Below Deck, if you're on

22:44

this show, you're probably, you have the best chance

22:46

of getting laid than you do in the

22:49

rest of your life, for sure. So

22:52

I think this is all new to Ben, like

22:54

people pretending that he's hot. Yeah. Because

22:56

he's on a TV show because he

22:59

seems very still infatuated that he could

23:01

ever land at Hottie because Camille's an

23:03

asshole, but she's a hot asshole. Right.

23:06

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today. So Ben

24:36

tells us, I've just been really thinking about

24:38

her recently and maybe there's a part of

24:40

me that thinks that we look right together.

24:42

Oh man, see what women have done to

24:44

me? Women have done literally nothing to you.

24:47

Look at the reign of terror that you've

24:49

had on women instead. He's

24:52

so gross. And so one of the questions

24:54

is, what's your favorite snack on charter? And

24:56

then he writes, her? And then

24:58

he puts a pic of Camille in

25:00

a bikini. He's so gross. Like, you

25:02

know that Sonny's watching this. He's such

25:04

an asshole. I mean, can

25:08

you believe it? He's

25:11

like, he's basically sleeping

25:13

with his underling

25:15

and then they have a conversation and it's

25:19

like, well, we're not something. But by the way,

25:21

I'm watching a barge in the river. I'm still

25:23

in New York and there's literally a barge going

25:25

by and I feel like it's somehow like

25:28

a metaphor for something happening right now. Let's

25:32

trash fucking trash barge. Yeah, like

25:34

literally like trash barge. This is

25:36

Ben's trash barge. It's called the

25:39

diligent. Oh God, the barge is

25:41

called the diligent. The diligent, it's the

25:43

diligence holds holding.

25:46

Diligent holdings. I think that's just a company. Nevermind.

25:50

Diligent holdings, that's something that does not

25:52

describe Ben. But anyway, he's sitting here.

25:56

He just had this conversation with Sonny And.

26:00

Days. He says well we're working

26:02

on being annoys them were going to

26:04

see he turns Suddenly their situation ensues

26:06

like a test run and at the

26:09

end of the season he's gonna decide

26:11

if they're an item moving forward like

26:13

us as like American Idol auditions which

26:16

is already so insulting. but he knows

26:18

enough that they've had a conversation that

26:20

they may be are something and while

26:22

you are may be something you're than

26:25

going to actively post on Instagram photos

26:27

of your acts and talk about how

26:29

she's a snack. And how like

26:31

keep that you never know what's going

26:33

on between us. It is like so

26:35

massively disrespectful as a slice of pizza

26:38

or involve the say it's so sad

26:40

It's like he's like i don't like

26:42

Sunny being so when to me but

26:44

then he's purposely making her crazy so

26:46

that seek him. Then

26:48

she can act. I can else

26:50

I could act as many could

26:52

be axes see have women love

26:54

me like of is so him

26:56

as low crazy yeah so by

26:58

the way Diligent holdings I just

27:00

look them up and as actually

27:02

fitting for banned because what they

27:04

do is drive off. That's what

27:06

they spend my rifle and the

27:08

nothing explains band better than tribal.

27:13

Oh Elsa as I work after off

27:16

as gave us any ago, an hour

27:18

outside and they're working and she's like

27:20

so do you remember trying to give

27:22

me my fight and effect. Oh yes,

27:24

I was an old habit I'll such

27:26

as Damascus the mattress today stuff that

27:28

Mrs. Jones

27:31

is so. Irresistible.

27:36

Just tell me about it's know I

27:38

am most games five pounds after I

27:41

must eat your lips last last night's

27:43

so then column Barbie are like. talking

27:46

towels like sort of beauty and she's like

27:48

keep your mouth shut and he cites or

27:50

yeah but people on stupid as i know

27:53

but like keep your mouth shut and he

27:55

says but people are pretty brutal my mouth

27:57

to yeah more yell at my father I

27:59

made it very clear before I came here.

28:02

This is the one thing I can't

28:04

do. Actually, it was one of two things.

28:06

The second one obviously drinking Pepsi, but like

28:09

that's a given. You know what I'm saying?

28:11

She's such a drama queen for the cameras and I

28:13

kinda like it. Like she's so obvious about it. Like,

28:16

oh my God, I'm gonna come on this show

28:18

and immediately start problems with the main stew because

28:20

that's what you do, the cheese stew. And

28:23

then I'm gonna be in a romantic situation

28:25

because that's what you do on the show.

28:27

So who's available? A

28:29

guy who never sees his daughter in Alaska.

28:31

That's hot. Come for him. She's so funny

28:34

checking all the boxes when she walks through

28:36

the boat and I love it. And then

28:38

she's gonna bang a guy on the camera

28:40

and then cry about it for the next,

28:43

you know, seven episodes or

28:45

however long. Exactly. Coming up, only

28:47

18 episodes left of this season

28:49

of Below Deck. Only 18

28:52

left! I mean,

28:54

to be fair to Barbie, like I

28:56

would argue that Kyle is the one getting the

28:59

best edit of the men this season outside of

29:01

Captain Carrie, right? So, you

29:03

know, she did get the best of the worst. So

29:06

she's like, my dad isn't like very affectionate.

29:08

And like, even when I was like married

29:10

in my house, I wasn't kissing my husband

29:12

in front of my father. Dad just like

29:14

doesn't need to see it. And I'm like

29:16

disappointed in myself for disappointing my father. I'm

29:18

like, oh, sweetheart, you disappointed him

29:21

long before you had sex with Kyle. Okay,

29:23

I don't know what part of saying I'm

29:25

going on a Bravo reality show and

29:27

has a conservative corporate

29:29

executive saying, fabulous, so

29:32

excited for you, honey. So

29:35

Kyle's just laughing at her. He's like,

29:38

oh Jesus, my dad is going to

29:40

kill me. Give Jesus Christ. And she's

29:42

like, actually, not really. Not to

29:44

me. Have you heard nothing?

29:47

I heard nothing is what I've been trying to tell you. Yeah.

29:51

So Paris and Zandy are in the laundry room and

29:53

Paris goes like around the corner and Zandy's

29:56

like, you keep going in there and doing

29:58

nothing and Barbie. Paris

30:00

comes around with like a bucket. She's

30:02

like, are you fucking kidding me? You're going to

30:05

question me a gay icon and what I'm gonna do. Look,

30:07

I have a little bucket with subs in it How

30:09

dare you? Fuck you

30:12

and we just start laughing So

30:14

then outside the Sun is like, oh look

30:16

at me. Just enjoying my day being happily

30:18

in love Ben I mean

30:20

a Dylan's in love with me. I mean, that's just such a

30:22

good day. Oh my god She looks

30:25

at her phone. She's like fucking Ben. What is

30:27

he doing? Yeah

30:30

She's just when she thought That

30:33

everything was fine. So she's mad and rightfully

30:35

so this is one of the times where

30:37

I really do think that her rage is

30:39

justified and then

30:41

Ben I Can't

30:43

wait to see how she apologizes to

30:45

him for this because you know that

30:47

that right that's what's so sad about

30:49

it so Ben then takes Nick to

30:52

his room and Then

30:54

Dylan asking Nick how old

30:58

Nick is and Nick is like I'm

31:01

40 been a chef chef for 20 years and I Definitely

31:04

have no memories of being at Woodstock

31:06

the original one. I am definitely 40

31:11

Meanwhile, so he goes to find Barbie in

31:14

Paris to show them the phone is sobbed

31:16

to them She's like, oh, can you believe

31:18

it? Have you seen this Instagram? Like oh

31:20

girl He posted that today.

31:22

When did they break up? She's like last year.

31:24

She cheated on him by the way in below

31:26

deck. I Mean how long

31:29

ago was a few months or whatever? She's like

31:31

she cheated on him Then Paris is like so

31:33

why would you be the hardest girl ever? Are

31:35

you this is insane? This whole thing is insane.

31:37

She's I know. I mean, we're just sleeping together.

31:39

I get it But it's just like I'm supposed

31:41

to act like everything is happy on deck, but

31:44

this is really hard It

31:46

like it kind of broke my heart that she you could

31:49

hear her already kind of dismissing her emotions Which

31:51

is like I know we're just sleeping together and

31:53

but it's weird like you don't have to you

31:55

don't have to qualify this You're allowed to be

31:58

outwardly mad. And honestly, I didn't love I

32:00

think Paris said at one point like you know

32:02

this is just what men do like men are

32:04

awful men are wise It's like it's

32:06

like yes, that's fair, but also just like

32:09

put it really squarely on Ben Don't like

32:11

don't like it almost like

32:14

absolves him of responsibility by saying this is

32:16

like oh man It's such law is be

32:18

like no Ben is a fuck boy And

32:21

he is wrong for this like really make

32:23

well make him to make him have to

32:25

hold this on his back Right

32:28

after this she says you do she goes okay

32:30

fine because she goes well you know I know

32:32

we're sleeping together, but We're

32:34

only sleeping together, but and she's yeah, but you

32:37

still deserve respect Which I think is the ultimate

32:39

point here like so what if you're just fucking

32:41

each other? It's he still cannot

32:43

be posting this on purpose to piss you

32:45

off. You know I mean And

32:47

when she says the they're just men. I think

32:50

she's like heard this so much from Sunny I

32:52

mean she's been on how many days now and

32:54

how many times has Sunny been breaking down crying

32:56

over Ben That's like true all the time is

32:58

every fucking day, and I think at some point

33:00

She's just like if you just keep going back

33:02

to the same thing What

33:04

do you expect you're with them like he's

33:06

a piece of crap. Okay? He's never gonna

33:08

get this again He's never gonna get this

33:11

kind of attention from anyone in any other

33:13

job Walk away girl

33:16

You're crying over Ben Okay

33:20

So speaking of which captain is with Ben

33:22

at the hot tub He's like well make

33:24

sure we have fuel and also this hot

33:26

tub needs some cleaning I'm saying something's happening

33:28

in here So where's some gloves because guess

33:30

what it looks like some

33:32

people got into this this wire and

33:35

had quite an adventure Didn't they it's

33:37

like if you look at a hot tub. It's not

33:39

that different than a cured cup am I right? Just

33:41

a much bigger vision So

33:45

then Fraser sees chef, and he's like well

33:47

hello. Where are you from he's like Palmer?

33:49

I'm so sorry just joking ha ha

33:52

ha ha Palma's actually amazing

33:54

so have you worked on large vessels? Large

33:57

vessels before sorry there were double SS. That's

33:59

very. The computer running and he's like yeah

34:01

and a ninety one actually give out. This

34:03

is a piece of cake. Speaking of, please

34:06

leave one out on the counter at all

34:08

times. Who like to see Dylan swear. So.

34:13

I'll always be coming to the for service

34:15

to so stand here and. Exert.

34:18

Pressure with my eyes and make you

34:20

feel nervous. but maps even little excited.

34:22

So I would recommend Plated for every

34:24

meal and read preference seats and just

34:27

do the bare necessities attacks. But food

34:29

onto a plate. You would think anyone

34:31

could do that, but apparently not So

34:33

anyway, Enjoy! Ah, Well

34:35

come on board, Separable. I cannot wait

34:38

to undermine you. While

34:41

you play your dinners I will

34:43

recite some of my favorite monologues

34:46

from Micro Satan, The Deep End,

34:48

and really anything that's my doppelganger

34:50

to to Swinton has been in

34:52

prefer. When I run a run

34:55

out of that, I'm just going

34:57

back to Sweet Magnolia Steel Magnolias

34:59

or it sees shall be Drink

35:01

your Juice Selby. Drink

35:03

your Joost. Ha ha

35:05

ha. And

35:08

after that ties. Some really

35:10

feeling. Generous. I might.

35:14

Pretend. Like I'm the big piano in

35:16

the teaches him big and I'll do

35:18

chopsticks. Doo dah

35:20

doo dah doo dah doo dah dah. I'm

35:22

sorry I only do one note: says.

35:24

My boss. Dot.dot

35:29

dialogue with i da da da

35:31

da people with it. so

35:36

done is posing while sammy and paris's

35:38

he's like kind of posing at the

35:40

window looking at himself in the reflection

35:42

of the window and paris's like oh

35:44

god look at that viewer i like

35:46

watching wild animals bond glass wilde whiplash

35:48

has with a whip let her by

35:50

the way i've received now but i

35:53

don't know what it means to find

35:55

him in your local marina doing absolutely

35:57

fuck goal once you And

36:00

now Fraser, Ben, and Kyle are at

36:02

the stairs, and Fraser's like, So, why

36:04

are you keeping it quiet that you

36:07

and Bobby did the deed? And

36:09

Ben's like, yeah, we heard the bang, and

36:11

I was a little reminded, it sounded like

36:13

a door opening and closing, opening and closing,

36:16

and then, um, Ben,

36:18

they're like, oh, shut the fuck up, and

36:20

Kyle laughs, and he's like, he's like, oh,

36:22

yeah, she pushes, da-da-da-da. So they're all just

36:24

like joking and just like, you know, laughing

36:26

about this whole thing, and Fraser's like, why

36:29

are you keeping it a secret? Enough

36:31

to it. It's a bit embarrassing. I

36:33

mean, I know it's all like, guy talk, it's like, funny,

36:36

it's on the boat, this is like, what people, yachties do,

36:38

but I'm like, you know, Fraser, this is someone who works

36:40

under you, and you probably should not be oppressing for these

36:42

details at this point. Like, you did it, you had like,

36:44

your moment. Nah, I probably

36:46

should move forward. Yeah, I

36:48

have no problem with it. Right now. I don't know why.

36:51

So then, um, Paris and Ben... Huh?

36:54

You said you were fine with it? Yeah.

36:57

This doesn't bother me. I mean, on this boat, he's not fucking

36:59

her. I

37:01

say he's already a step ahead of, uh,

37:04

of Ben. So right now, I'm gonna keep

37:06

Ben as my villain. Okay. So Paris is

37:09

like, um, you know, Ben, oh,

37:11

I think you're being a bit of a

37:13

tosser. And he's like, what did I do?

37:15

Nothing, women, right? She goes, you wanna fuck

37:18

with my girl Sunshine? Oh, fuck with you.

37:20

And he's like, oh, women, what did I

37:22

do now? And she's like, it's your Instagram,

37:24

your Instagram story, dude. Yeah. Like,

37:27

come on. Is it rude? Yeah.

37:29

And he's like, it is not. And

37:31

he goes, he's like, we're not

37:33

even fucking dating. What's wrong with

37:35

these girls? It's just like

37:37

the most classic fuck boy thing. To do

37:40

something And then absolve

37:42

yourself with any responsibility. Like, oh my God,

37:44

these girls are just, they just get so

37:46

attached. Wow. You Know, this is why I

37:48

need to take it slow. This is why

37:50

I don't get in relationships. So The fact

37:52

that I'm not committing to you has nothing

37:54

to do with me and my issues. It's

37:56

just that you ladies are so crazy and

37:59

the moment I... Net and then

38:01

I decide i wanna like flirt

38:03

with other girls you get so

38:05

crazy to now some of the

38:07

preferences meeting. Or I'd

38:09

everyone. Ah Alex Padilla is all

38:11

next primary. She's a senior community

38:14

manager years the senior community manager

38:16

and he will at yelp on

38:18

he wants Instagram bull seat so

38:21

surreal involves into platforms and once

38:23

and less paid his to individual

38:25

preferences okay Barney Rubble or that

38:28

want that balls or want that

38:30

balls up district okay octopus they

38:32

want octopus might not choose and

38:35

chocolate chocolate tool and out and

38:37

gonna do everything adds. Be very

38:39

exciting and make him of prey. I

38:42

am they're going to do some Christmas

38:44

mind or something and of New Years

38:47

party and we got to Barbie crying

38:49

and in the whole of little whole

38:51

thing that ya calling from below deck

38:53

selling lives in so she's down there

38:56

crying and ma'am a Sega to Fraser

38:58

insect feather I just wanna never talk

39:00

with you today Shalom for as far

39:02

as find to say. This

39:05

day has been literally it like I'm

39:07

submitting. As thin as the worst day

39:10

am, I'm having some emotional problems. Fraser.

39:12

My my life is like really

39:14

really? are I feel disappointed? I

39:17

feel like I'm really disappointed my

39:19

brother like a really really deliberated

39:21

bracelets something you've been cleaning toilets

39:24

now for six weeks. Your father's

39:26

rich physicists. What

39:29

could you possibly bam to make him

39:31

turn off the Tv more quickly and

39:33

cleanly At this stage in a be

39:35

so disappointed and he's like was he

39:37

did not snow and like them thinks

39:39

it's like a fucking joke and I

39:41

just want us to be in shock

39:43

and bends like watching like this evil

39:45

glare and his eyes and praise was

39:47

like no one thinks anything a few

39:49

and I mean that in all senses.

39:51

The phrase i literally no one thinks

39:53

anything of the of Squirrels family and

39:55

you just them You know I'm on

39:57

the big brother. your the of annoying press

40:00

sister who makes noise and has

40:02

an attitude and does a job

40:04

well but no one likes to be around her you know

40:06

family like that you know in fact I'm a bit jealous

40:13

he's watching this conversation just kind of

40:15

hugging a pillow like like with these

40:17

devious little eyes what does he what

40:20

does Ben turn and Ben's

40:22

really turned online have you seen him

40:25

posting online he's no like paragraphs and

40:27

paragraphs going on and on about unfairly

40:29

he's treated him how the editing is

40:31

just so mean to him of course

40:34

la blah we don't see anything they've just

40:36

edited this to make him look like a

40:38

villain like babe this is all you I

40:40

don't even care if they showed it

40:43

all backwards with you speaking in reverse

40:45

there's no way to turn this that

40:47

you're not a fucking asshole sorry yeah

40:49

please give us your director's cut and try

40:51

to just tell you how it works so

40:55

then Kyle is like

40:57

you know I was going to try not to

40:59

talk of it but everybody else is talking about

41:01

it like how can you not they're like constantly

41:03

giving him shit and they all heard it you

41:05

know so now we cut to the chef scrubbing

41:07

the kitchen and he's like this

41:09

is chalk three the worst kitchens I've

41:11

ever seen I don't know how anyone's

41:14

not got food poisoning from this disgusting

41:17

I mean this is worse than the time I

41:20

was working in Margaret Thatcher's kitchen in 1981 when I

41:22

was fresh

41:24

out of graduate school

41:26

and I am 40 though I do want

41:29

to remind it what I definitely am

41:33

40 I remember trying

41:36

to make something on the Mayflower for all

41:38

Chris I said where we

41:40

going and I said listen we're

41:42

going to a little place called I'm not

41:45

really sure to think this pancake all right

41:48

and that was what God I must have

41:50

been two years old if I'm 40 now

41:52

when I stopped telling years all right anyway

41:54

black mold black mold refrigerator mold fridge mold

41:56

it is actually disgusting what he's talking about

41:58

he's like talking about the

42:01

entire refrigerator lining was black from mold

42:03

and there was like expired shit in

42:05

there. So, I mean, so

42:07

Anthony was a lot more disgusting than

42:09

we realized. ♪

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42:54

So now it's nighttime and Ben and

42:57

Kyle are talking and

42:59

Ben tells Kyle about

43:01

Sonny and Ben's like,

43:03

I'm just gonna have to end it. I'm not

43:05

happy. I've had connections to people before and I

43:07

don't think Sonny and I have that. It's better

43:09

just to leave it, mate. I'll never understand the

43:12

mind of a lady. I was like, that's

43:14

not editing right there. You said that

43:16

you'll never understand the mind of a lady.

43:18

How about the mind of just like a

43:20

human being who deserves respect? You can't just

43:22

say this is just some lady

43:25

thing, okay? So Kyle's

43:27

like, well, you think you got her? And

43:29

then whack, something else happens. And then you

43:31

whack off, you literally whack off. So

43:36

then we cut to Dylan talking

43:39

to the chef. He's like, so what do you think

43:41

of these people? And he's like, oh, that should be

43:43

interesting. He goes, all right, well, I'm gonna take a

43:45

shit, shower, and sleep. Ugh, gross Dylan.

43:48

Why does Dylan have to get grosser

43:50

with every shot? He's

43:53

terrible. Dylan, you're

43:55

terrible. The worst. So then Sunny

43:57

is on deck, and so she goes up

43:59

to him. And he's cleaning the

44:01

he's filling up the hot tub so she's

44:04

like hi And he says I've been waiting

44:06

for this hot tub to fill up for

44:08

hours. How are you? And

44:11

I'll never get inside the mind of a hot tub. I'll

44:13

tell you that much school takes forever He's

44:16

like those Instagram posts today, huh? She goes oh

44:18

that was yeah. I mean that took me off

44:20

guard and goes That's just me

44:22

darling Who

44:25

else who else vomited in their mouth when he said

44:27

that that's just me darling This

44:30

is why I feel like sunny does

44:32

deserve some responsibility and ire Okay,

44:34

because I know that the sunny is the

44:36

victim in this I'm not trying to take

44:39

that away from her But this is what

44:41

you empower you empower pieces

44:43

of shit like Ben look how comfortable he

44:45

is just being like that's me darling Whereas

44:48

before he's been like no no listen

44:50

nothing's happening. I'm not trying to I'm really

44:52

trying to be a good person I mean,

44:54

so we're not a committed blah blah blah But

44:56

now he's just already evolved into this like super

44:59

villain who's just like that's just me Darling

45:01

like purposely posting pictures to piss you off and

45:03

then acting like this and then when you

45:05

don't bring it up with him He's gonna bring

45:07

it up with you on camera Just

45:10

will say shit like that you're empowering that

45:12

by allowing you want to make it's like

45:14

you're strengthening it He wants to

45:16

make her feel bad too because she knows what

45:18

he did was wrong And he's been confronted by

45:21

it and he knows it but rather than

45:23

accept that what he did it on purpose

45:25

He did it wrong on purpose. Exactly. He's

45:27

also been confronted by it and rather than

45:29

you know Accept the fact that

45:31

he was a dick. He decides that he's gonna

45:33

turn this into a referendum on funny

45:37

not Letting Ben be

45:39

his true self and so he is live

45:42

Well, you know So now he's very comfortable with being a

45:44

dictator because he knows he's about to break her heart and

45:47

he's gonna flip it on and and so She's like well

45:49

just took me off guard. You know like what you why

45:51

are you putting this all on yourself, Sonny?

45:53

Like what I would have loved it was

45:55

presenting like, you know, go fuck yourself. You're

45:57

a piece of shit You

46:00

have no respect for me and you're

46:02

a fuck boy and if you don't get it That's

46:04

gonna be on you and it's gonna play you for

46:06

the rest of your life And you have a miserable

46:08

you'll have miserable relationship after relationship and you'll never accept

46:11

responsibility and by the way You're not

46:13

hot. So then but she doesn't

46:15

she's actually doesn't she not only does that

46:17

She's still I think with him and like

46:19

writing comments fighting with people on Instagram About

46:21

what dickheads they are for leaving bad comments

46:23

under his like it's it's sad. It's at

46:25

the point It's sad But

46:28

even you giving her monologues like

46:30

that in your mind Like I wish she had

46:32

done this like I can't even do that for

46:34

her because she's now pissed me off to the

46:36

point like You are literally Enabling this person and

46:38

turning them into a stronger force of evil for

46:40

the rest of us to have to deal with

46:43

Yeah, and the same on you too, man.

46:45

Exactly. Then he goes, you know, it's just

46:47

like this always something It's like always something

46:50

like you literally posted on Instagram with that

46:52

Camille and he goes it's just

46:54

as annoying Like I just made to finish

46:56

this charter season strong. So, you know where

46:58

you are where we are I think now

47:00

if we sleep together, we sleep together and if we

47:02

don't we don't and I don't think we're a chance

47:05

to Each other with three ever. Yeah, like okay, so

47:07

you're breaking up with her But you're basically saying I

47:10

still want to sleep with you So I'm not it's

47:12

like he's saying like I want nothing to do with

47:14

you except to fuck you sometimes Yes,

47:16

I literally just nod sadly and then

47:19

he takes her hand and she's like, okay See you

47:21

tomorrow and he's like, yeah, I mean I've

47:24

got to see you, right? So

47:26

she could it really awful.

47:28

It's awful. Wow She

47:31

goes into the room without crying and

47:33

he's like fucking chicks mate. Not chicks.

47:35

I Hate him.

47:37

It's awful. He's died. You know, it's like

47:40

I know this

47:42

sounds like this was like a terrible thing to

47:44

say but like Never

47:46

told him to die. So come on. No

47:49

like Bad behavior

47:51

is bad behavior regardless of who says it But you

47:53

know, sometimes when you feel like someone's just like

47:55

not hot enough to even have this bad behavior It's

48:00

not like being hot lets you do it.

48:02

We've literally said it 10 times this season,

48:04

you're not hot enough to act this douchey.

48:06

You just can't pull it off. No

48:09

one should be douchey at any level of

48:11

hotness, but it's especially more annoying when you're

48:13

not even hot. You're acting like

48:15

you have hot privilege, but you don't have it. But

48:18

I think that's why he's acting like this, because we

48:20

haven't seen him act to this level of

48:23

a villain, right? We haven't seen him steeped in this

48:25

much villainy, and I really do

48:27

think that he's coming under this

48:29

spell that he's hot now, but he's

48:31

not. He's just on TV, so people will fuck him

48:33

right now. And it's

48:35

like when someone becomes famous really fast and you start

48:38

seeing it go to their head and you start seeing

48:40

them spin out of control. It's like

48:42

that, but with vaginas. And he's

48:44

just spinning out of control. And it's hilarious

48:47

to watch because you're not hot enough for

48:49

this, as Camille is about to remind you.

48:52

So let me just say another pre-thank you to

48:54

her. Yes, exactly. So

48:57

Sunny's crying in the room and she's like,

48:59

he dumped me. He said today was the

49:02

last straw, and I get it. There's

49:04

always something wrong. I'm toxic. Are

49:06

you kidding me? There's saying

49:08

there's always something wrong. Yeah, it's not you,

49:10

Sunny. I mean, we talk about like, oh,

49:12

wow, we wish Sunny would not keep going

49:15

back to the sky, but it's more like

49:17

we want something better for her. We want

49:19

her to do better. We don't think that

49:21

it's... And it's like

49:23

it's terrible that she actually believes

49:25

that she is the toxic one here.

49:28

And you know, like she... I

49:31

feel bad for her because she has... Honestly, I'm getting

49:33

to the point where I can't even hear it anymore.

49:35

Like I'm so fucking sick of it. It's the same

49:37

thing every fucking time. This guy's an asshole and then

49:39

she goes and cries and makes it her own fault.

49:42

And then we tell off the guy and then we're like, you

49:44

do better, Sunny. We're

49:46

all positive. And then la, la, la. I can't do

49:48

it anymore. Fuck off, Sunny. Make better decisions. At this

49:50

point, you're in a crosswalk, you're going to get run

49:52

over and I'm going to laugh. It's going to be

49:55

a video I see on Instagram and I'm going to

49:57

laugh ha, ha, ha because you're an idiot standing in

49:59

a crosswalk. I can't do it. Ben's such

50:01

a piece of shit. This girl's an

50:03

idiot. Fuck them both, you know? May you

50:05

be unhappy on some form where somewhere without

50:07

internet so I never have to see your

50:09

stupid faces again Go. So Parris says well

50:11

He's being a fucking dickhead and sometimes men

50:13

need to take responsibility for their actions and

50:15

how they make people feel I'm like,

50:18

yeah, but I'm like, it's not that he's

50:20

being a fucking dickhead He is a fucking

50:22

dickhead and it's not that many to take

50:24

responsibility Ben needs to take responsibility Like I

50:26

just really hate the broadening of this so

50:28

Sonny's like, you know men are men

50:30

and they're not gonna change This is

50:33

Paris who says this she's like men are not gonna

50:35

change but that doesn't excuse being a

50:37

seaward, right? And

50:40

Sonny says if you know if that

50:42

if there are that many problems in the beginning anyway, well,

50:44

what the fuck am I doing? It's like Yes,

50:47

exactly now, please keep that Let's

50:49

like print that out and put that over the door

50:52

of your cabin every time you step out into the

50:54

world So Dylan

50:56

is in his bed listening to

50:58

Dylan's affirmations. It's like you were

51:00

strong. You were intelligent You

51:02

were humble ham is bad ham Very

51:07

bad It puts the

51:09

lotion on the ham. So now

51:12

it's bedtime and Barbie text Kyle's

51:14

cuz I don't get what part of this is funny

51:16

to you and you know This affects me and I've

51:18

told you from day one And

51:21

he's like what do you ever just ignore it

51:23

and go to bed? He's smart He's smart enough

51:25

to know he knows her well enough to know

51:27

that she's just spinning out in drama land now

51:29

So yeah So

51:31

now we get it's the morning and we

51:33

get this like Over

51:36

long close-up montage of this disgusting smoothie

51:38

being blended together. I mean it goes

51:40

on for like 10 minutes This why

51:43

do we need to see this the creation of this

51:45

movie? What is happening here? I don't

51:48

know, but it's very sexy It's very skin

51:50

and max but for strawberries. It's like mmm.

51:52

What's job is going in? Yeah planning. Oh

51:55

good oat milk being poured in it and

51:57

then after this whole thing Paris drinks it's

51:59

like delicious It

52:02

was I hope that took an hour and

52:04

a half to shoot because it was gorgeous

52:06

gorgeous shooting It was too much It

52:09

reminded me of top chef this week Which

52:11

I just watched last night and there was

52:13

like a scene in top chef where one

52:16

of the chefs was Like ruminating

52:18

about what is cast cuisine? He's like trying to

52:20

wrap his mind around it and then there was

52:22

like a one-minute montage of like his entire childhood

52:25

Flash before his eyes and like photos and was

52:27

like but they try to have like

52:29

this Darren Aronofsky moment I was like what the fuck is going on

52:31

here? Top chef. Let's get it together. Okay

52:34

Which chef was it that was having the flashback? I forgot

52:37

his name Like I got the glasses.

52:39

He's part of the Ren Club The

52:42

skinny guy with the glasses who's part of the

52:44

Danny. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

52:48

It's not very exciting. I don't care about his childhood.

52:50

I need that for like a more I want the

52:52

girl whose attention from dragons Person

52:54

like I want her I want her childhood, you

52:57

know, yeah I want her like flashing

52:59

back to like pretty be kind rewind stickers

53:01

onto VHS tapes I want she's probably too

53:03

young for that I it really

53:05

was a bad season for Padma to step away

53:08

from because Padma would have had so much sustain

53:10

for this Dungeons and Dragons girl Really?

53:14

Oh So you like role-playing? Oh,

53:16

I guess you're not a comedian like

53:18

I am ha ha ha Pat

53:21

Milakshmi wants to be the funniest person in the

53:23

room guy walks into the bar The

53:27

bar immediately disappears cuz Gail Simmons enters to

53:29

when he eats it ha ha Why

53:33

did the chicken cross the road? Cuz

53:35

Gail standing there with a bottle of ketchup

53:37

chasing it Knock knock

53:40

who's there not the door cuz Gail

53:42

just ate it, too Oh

53:45

My clock who's there

53:48

Gail Gail who exactly?

53:54

Knock knock who's there my dear

53:56

friend Ali Wong end of joke

54:02

Why did you knock instead of

54:05

ding-wong? Am I right? A

54:08

priest, a rabbi, and a shaman

54:11

walk into a bar and none

54:13

of them know anything about food.

54:15

What is chop suey? Okay,

54:20

so now the captain's checking on the

54:23

chef. He's like, who's up, buddy? He's

54:25

like, it's always the same thing. You

54:27

show up, you assess the damage, and

54:30

you crack on. I've been a chef

54:32

21 years. I was like, uh-oh.

54:35

Your numbers are starting to flip there. You're

54:37

forgetting your lie number. My number

54:39

was 20 a minute ago. I think he's also

54:41

said 22 at some point in this

54:43

episode. And now it's 21. Get

54:46

it straight, Nick. Get it straight. So

54:48

then Kyle texts Barbie back in the morning,

54:50

and he's like, I didn't take it as

54:52

a joke. He doesn't make me look like

54:54

a joke doing what we did and being

54:56

a yarr about it. And Barbie's like, oh,

54:58

god, stop it. So Ben is

55:00

like, oh, you checked him bombing? He's

55:03

like, yeah, she's peaceful, read it. No,

55:06

I don't think I've done anything wrong. In

55:08

fact, I've done the opposite. I tried everything to

55:10

make her feel comfortable. You know, I put a

55:12

pillow out, and I said, everyone, I slept with

55:14

Barbie. You know? And for her to

55:16

act like that is childish. I

55:19

offered to burn a hanger

55:22

and put a question mark in the shape of

55:24

a scar. A scar in the shape of a

55:26

question mark on the ass for her. She just

55:28

said her daddy's sad. City,

55:30

city girl. And Ben's like, oh, she's so

55:32

ashamed of you. So then

55:34

clean. No one is more ashamed than Sunny's

55:36

mother right now. OK? I

55:38

can guarantee you that. So then they're clean,

55:40

clean, cleaning. And Ben

55:42

and Sunny are on deck, and she's just kind

55:45

of ignoring him doing her work. I don't think

55:47

she's being like an asshole. She's just

55:49

doing her work. And he goes, guys, I'm

55:51

OK with the earphones, but you can have them in their

55:53

ear and listen, but you still have to talk to the

55:56

rest of us. And she's like, oh, fuck off. And she's

55:58

like, fuck off. Like, this guy doesn't like it. doesn't want

56:00

me doing it. It's like

56:02

she can't do anything, you know? So now

56:04

she has to banter while

56:06

she's chameering and railing. So

56:09

Fraser is now with the chef and he's like, Nick,

56:13

just had to talk with Captain. He'd

56:15

like to have lunch at one. What are we doing

56:17

for that? He's like, well, I'll do

56:20

the nachos and then the lamb chops and

56:22

then something that I really enjoyed making when

56:24

I was in that bunker with Winston Churchill

56:27

is called Salami Francaise.

56:32

Oh, I think back to the time where we

56:34

invented salt. I

56:38

accidentally got pushed up against a wall in a mine

56:40

and legged and I thought, God, that's

56:42

good. That would taste really good on some

56:44

beef, which at the time

56:46

was dinosaur meat. They

56:49

did make it good. I

56:52

look like Barney Rubble because I am

56:55

Barney Rubble. He's been around a while. So

56:59

he's talking about it's his first meal is gonna make

57:01

it shine. He's like worked himself up to a five-summer

57:04

restaurant. He worked at the Ritz, he's self-taught and he's

57:06

just gonna keep a steady head now. So

57:08

it's time for provision. Also, it's very important

57:11

just to highlight that Fraser asks

57:13

what he's doing and he tells him exactly

57:15

what he's doing. He's going to

57:17

do the octopus

57:19

nachos as the fish portion and

57:22

then he's going to be serving lamb

57:24

chops, okay? It's important because little Underminer

57:26

over there completely tries to fuck

57:28

him over and Fraser better watch his

57:31

ass because this Nick doesn't look like

57:33

he's fucking around, okay? Fraser's not gonna

57:35

be able to pull this Anthony like,

57:37

I love you so much while he's

57:39

stabbing him in the back constantly. Nick

57:41

will run this person over. Yeah, he's

57:43

been, look, he's 33 years

57:45

old and he's

57:48

been a chef for 63 years.

57:51

You know, men in their 20s, they've got some

57:53

rage. So

57:56

with provisions, provisions,

57:58

provisions, and... Captain's

58:01

checking Ben's work and

58:03

everything and then Sonny and Barbie are changing and

58:06

he's talking about Kyle and says, oh, Barbie talking

58:08

about Kyle and she's like, you know, I asked

58:10

him to be a gentleman and he just can't

58:12

do it. He's the one person I trusted, you

58:15

know, and like now I feel like I can't,

58:17

just like sucks and Sonny's like, yeah,

58:19

but I also think his feelings are hurt because you

58:21

know it's really important to remember that the men's emotions

58:23

are more important than the women's.

58:27

And Barbie's like, well he wouldn't have hurt feelings

58:29

about it if he didn't talk about it because

58:31

then I wouldn't be pissed. He didn't talk about

58:33

it and now I'm pissed and saying as much

58:35

as about me being pissed, that's really not fair.

58:37

My dad even liked that. I'm just like so

58:39

fucking pissed because like Kyle's known all season that

58:41

I'm like fucking orthodox. Like, you know what I

58:44

mean? Like, and he's letting it be like a

58:46

fucking thing. Like, I mean, this is probably, it's

58:48

between me and you. Like, you're the person I

58:50

can trust now and I'm feeling like, oh my

58:52

god, like I cannot trust you now. So,

58:55

alright everyone, everyone. 15 minutes till

58:58

the guests arrive and Ben texts

59:00

Hay to Camille and

59:02

she doesn't write back. And

59:04

now here comes the guests. There's like

59:06

a group of Yelp elites.

59:09

Literally, they're Yelp elites and they're walking

59:11

down the dock and the music's like,

59:13

I got swag, I got swag. I'm

59:16

like, yes, that's what everyone says when

59:18

they see food bloggers approaching. I say

59:20

that as someone who moodlights

59:23

in that world. This

59:26

is definitely a group of people in

59:28

bad rayon that walk up to Costco

59:30

samplers and stand there for 10 minutes

59:33

going like this. Mmm. Mmm.

59:35

Mmm. Mmm. It's

59:38

like it's gelatinous fucking chicken breast. Okay.

59:40

Eat it and move on. It's free.

59:43

These are people who say, oh my

59:45

god, have you, have you been to Dragos Central?

59:47

I love what Shelby's been doing with the bar

59:49

menu lately. I'm like, Shelby? Yeah, Shelby. You mean

59:52

the bartender? That's a true story, by the way.

59:54

When I, you know, my food blogging days, because I used to do

59:57

all sorts of food blogging because there would be a way to get

59:59

free food. I was like I had deep

1:00:03

in credit card debt so I was always

1:00:05

wrong about food and restaurants on my blog

1:00:07

because I get invited to these free meals

1:00:09

and you'd go and there would inevitably be

1:00:12

like a food blogger who would like name

1:00:14

drop some random line chef at some restaurant

1:00:16

and be like oh my god what

1:00:19

Don is doing with scallops these days

1:00:22

downtown it's like revolutionary and I'm like

1:00:24

who's Don? Oh you don't know? Don

1:00:26

line chefs. Yeah. He's a drag-a-centro.

1:00:30

That's what these people are. They're

1:00:34

so boring in laying these

1:00:36

people. This is people just as human beings and

1:00:38

then the main guy is like he's too big

1:00:40

he's a six foot four guy so he can't

1:00:42

really fit into many things so he's wearing like

1:00:45

an ill-fitting blazer and like

1:00:47

a Costco golf shirt and then

1:00:49

like really neon bright glass sunglasses

1:00:51

because that's like his personality he's

1:00:53

like I'm the guy who wears

1:00:55

like neon sunglasses. Yeah

1:00:57

I'm Alex so that's me. So

1:01:00

the captain's like well welcome to Granada. Fraser

1:01:02

is the chief stew and it's his job

1:01:04

not to mock guests in children's

1:01:06

sunglasses so you're lucky for that

1:01:08

one. Fraser take away show them

1:01:11

an adventure of a lifetime. Adventure.

1:01:14

Alright well this is the hot tub where you won't be

1:01:16

having sex with anyone and look

1:01:18

oh here's a here's a here's a table

1:01:20

where you'll be able to take a picture

1:01:22

of a crudite at some

1:01:24

point during this trip. Oh here's

1:01:26

a mirror where you can look at your homely faces. I think

1:01:29

that's about the end of the tour at this point. Alright

1:01:32

there you go this is this is the hot tub this

1:01:34

is your prime spot for a 360 view of

1:01:37

the whole boat. And when the ladies

1:01:39

go I thought you set a spot for threesomes

1:01:41

and I died. I died. Isn't

1:01:43

that funny you guys like oh my god say

1:01:45

that again I'm gonna totally story that. Say it

1:01:47

again. And by

1:01:49

threesome I mean a trio of duck. Roasted

1:01:54

comfy and

1:01:57

sauteed. The tour

1:01:59

tour tour. And then Alex is like, oh my

1:02:01

God, I'm so tall, I can't ever fit in the

1:02:03

bathtubs, but I can fit into this one.

1:02:06

And now they have to get ready for chocolate

1:02:08

day, because they're gonna go learn how to make

1:02:10

chocolate ice, because they're a foodie, so. Yeah,

1:02:13

so there's like a lot of stuff

1:02:15

happening. All the girls are taking Instagram

1:02:17

photos. Like, here's the thing, you know

1:02:20

me, I take photos of food, I

1:02:22

have literally an entire sub-tech dedicated to

1:02:24

food, I do this, I'm in this

1:02:26

world, I get it, I get it,

1:02:28

I get it. But like crudites on

1:02:30

the bar, that does not need

1:02:32

to be on Instagram. You do not need

1:02:34

to take a picture of celery socks and

1:02:37

cauliflower. And they're just so gross,

1:02:39

I mean, it's all of them with their phones

1:02:41

like, oh, hi, it's

1:02:43

me touching a carrot, I'm touching

1:02:45

a carrot. You

1:02:49

know, they're like, you know, TikToks are like, hey

1:02:51

guys, so today we went on a yacht, and

1:02:53

we had the most amazing spread. First day without

1:02:55

some crudites, it was really amazing, but that was

1:02:57

just like, didn't even get us started yet on

1:03:00

what the main course would be. We were so

1:03:02

excited, like and subscribe to see more about our

1:03:04

food adventures on a yacht. Yeah,

1:03:06

and one of them actually during

1:03:09

a meal goes, she puts

1:03:11

her camera down right in front of her plate

1:03:13

on the table and it's like aiming up at

1:03:15

her. So first of all, it's a terrible angle

1:03:17

because it's from below. It's like when your mom

1:03:19

answers the FaceTime, you know, it's like, hey. So

1:03:22

it's like that, and then she takes the bite, it's like,

1:03:24

no one wants to

1:03:26

see you cow eating, you know? She's

1:03:31

doing that like big cow chew, like, you're

1:03:35

not hot enough for this either, okay? That's

1:03:37

my general note for everybody on this show

1:03:40

today. You're not hot enough to be acting

1:03:42

like this. Put your fucking phone upside down,

1:03:44

I can't. Yeah, so

1:03:47

then they're all

1:03:49

excited, because

1:03:52

tonight's gonna be a Christmas party, so they're excited for

1:03:54

that. And Alex is the tall guy, and he's like,

1:03:56

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

1:03:59

So for ages. It's like, okay, you plain

1:04:01

people, you're gonna be going on an excursion

1:04:03

and then you're coming back for Christmas. And

1:04:06

how you came up with that,

1:04:08

I'm not sure, but you're so

1:04:10

hilarious. You're absolutely hilarious and fingers

1:04:12

crossed you don't understand British sarcasm

1:04:14

right now. So

1:04:17

the chef is making wacky octopus

1:04:19

nachos. He's like, these crazy kids

1:04:21

watching octopus nachos. And

1:04:23

outside the gate of the group, it's like, oh

1:04:25

my god, you guys, Fraser is so hot, I

1:04:27

like seriously can't even laugh. Like I'm about to

1:04:30

die right now. He is so hot. Oh my

1:04:32

god, dad. I'm literally dead. I can't

1:04:34

believe it. Yeah, I

1:04:36

feel like this guy came on with this idea of

1:04:38

like, I'm gonna make a splash on this charter and

1:04:40

I'm gonna be the guest that tries to have

1:04:42

sex with this too. So

1:04:46

Captain and Barbie and Fraser are

1:04:48

talking and Fraser is looking

1:04:53

at the bowl of fries. Yeah,

1:04:55

he's holding this big bowl of fries and

1:04:57

of course, he's the undermining is starting already.

1:05:00

So he's talking to the captain and he's

1:05:02

like, oh, it's like one fry each. And

1:05:04

this is supposed to be a seafood spread.

1:05:07

So why is that lamb on a

1:05:09

seafood spread? Maybe because he told you

1:05:11

you were serving lamb and you said

1:05:14

nothing. You little fucking manipulator. He's terrible.

1:05:16

I didn't even catch that. I

1:05:19

mean, I didn't catch that initially that when chef

1:05:21

told Fraser what the menu was that Fraser heard

1:05:23

it and didn't say anything. So for me, I

1:05:25

thought it was just Fraser pointing it out, be

1:05:27

like, wait a second, but now going through the

1:05:29

notes again, you're right. Totally an undermining. So Captain's

1:05:32

like, well, let's find out the raisin for that.

1:05:34

Hi, chef. Do you have more seafood? It's on

1:05:36

the preference sheet, the whole seafood spread. You want

1:05:38

to just take a look so you bear? And

1:05:40

he's like, oh, yes. Sorry, I

1:05:43

don't think I noticed that. I just saw the not show. I

1:05:46

don't have my readers. I've had bad

1:05:48

eyes ever since, you know, 1972. It

1:05:51

was just like a terrible summer in

1:05:53

the sun and it really would in my eyesight. No

1:05:57

man should have this poor of eyesight aged

1:05:59

20 years. Alright, well I'm not really sure

1:06:02

about the math there, but I'm sure that

1:06:04

we need some old fish. So he's like,

1:06:06

I can do it! So he starts throwing

1:06:08

fish up in the air and chopping them

1:06:11

in the air like, lipla-sall, lipla-sall. Like he's

1:06:13

going crazy and Fraser's just like, oh look

1:06:15

at him trying to make more fish. Insane.

1:06:18

Literally calling a psychologist to come on this

1:06:20

boat and look him up somewhere. So

1:06:24

these octopus nachos go up and the guests

1:06:27

all cheer. They're all excited about them and

1:06:29

that's when the girl starts filming herself eating them.

1:06:33

And now it's time to go to the

1:06:36

chocolate factory. So

1:06:38

the guests all get in the cars and

1:06:41

everything. And Fraser

1:06:43

tells the guy, he's like, oh by the way, bring

1:06:45

me some chocolates. Bring me some chocolates. I

1:06:47

love the shorts by the way. It's just sort of like

1:06:50

flirting. That's like Fraser's flirting and everything. I

1:06:52

guess. He's like, love your shorts. He's like,

1:06:54

oh my god, cannot wait for him to be inside of

1:06:57

me. And then this lady named

1:06:59

Tiffany spelled correctly. So I'll credit her with

1:07:01

that because the show's been kind of ruining

1:07:03

my faith in humans. But

1:07:05

it's spelled correctly and she's like, oh my god, I'm

1:07:07

going to have my tits out today. I'm ready to

1:07:09

be a MILF. You already are a MILF. Your

1:07:12

mom I'd like to forget. Okay. And

1:07:14

put on a pashmina or something. So

1:07:18

the guy asked for, one of the

1:07:20

guests asked one of the women like,

1:07:22

so do you guys want to get married? And

1:07:25

this lady's like, oh my god, I've asked for the ring twice

1:07:27

and I totally can't get it. Like,

1:07:29

wow, I wonder why not. And then the gay is like,

1:07:32

if Fraser asked for a ring right now,

1:07:34

I would like to go out and buy

1:07:36

it. I want to fuck him or be

1:07:38

fucking him. I'll do anything with him. So

1:07:43

Fraser is talking to Paris and he's like, I kind

1:07:45

of want to fuck that guy in the shorts. But

1:07:48

it says on this preference sheet, he doesn't like

1:07:50

hot dogs. He doesn't like sausage between two buns.

1:07:54

She even is quite hot. I mean, she's

1:07:57

basically one of the ladies. Are

1:07:59

they speeding? I

1:08:02

think they're... sorry.

1:08:06

We're having issues with

1:08:09

our notes. So Ben and I are taking

1:08:11

turns on different days taking notes, right? Because

1:08:14

it's just an easier way to live. We're

1:08:16

like, why are we taking 12 pages of

1:08:18

notes on every single show? So

1:08:21

one day he does something and the

1:08:23

next day I do it. This, I

1:08:25

mean, it looks like I stroked out

1:08:27

taking notes. It goes to SKF, SKF,

1:08:29

SKF, SKF, SKF. The

1:08:31

note goes SKF,

1:08:34

SKF, SKF. He's one of

1:08:36

the ladies. I was like, okay, I'll just go to the

1:08:38

next line. And then the next line I went, are they

1:08:40

speeding up the lines? I can't understand them. Okay,

1:08:44

here's what this means. Let

1:08:47

me tell you. Okay, so did you notice on

1:08:49

the show, they're speeding up the audio. Did you

1:08:51

notice it? Because at first I was like, that

1:08:53

has to be maybe they're just talking fast. Because

1:08:55

they do it with Barbie a couple times or

1:08:57

Barbie's like, well, you know, like he knows

1:08:59

that I have a dad and he doesn't know what I'm

1:09:01

like what

1:09:04

and so I keep rewinding it like what does she

1:09:06

say? No one talks that fast. But now

1:09:08

I think they're speeding up a

1:09:10

lot of these lines because it happens with Fraser

1:09:12

too, where I don't know what the hell he's

1:09:14

saying. And I think they're just speeding it up

1:09:16

too fast because no one can speak that fast.

1:09:19

Why are you putting stuff and you have to

1:09:21

speed up on below deck. There's already so much

1:09:23

minutia in this show. Just kind of

1:09:25

I mean, it is possible. Maybe you hit a

1:09:27

keystroke that caused the playback to speed up. I

1:09:32

probably I've done that reading these notes back. Yes,

1:09:34

I've done that. And how many people might have

1:09:36

hit the wrong key? And how many times we

1:09:38

got messages from people? There's like, why are you

1:09:40

guys talking so fast lately? And we say, Oh,

1:09:42

did you check out your playback speed? Is that

1:09:44

normal? And they're like, Oh, whoops. And by the

1:09:46

way, I've also done that. I've totally hit the

1:09:48

playback speed on my podcast player. I'm like, why

1:09:50

are these people going fast? It's like you see

1:09:52

it with other people. You're like, um, excuse me.

1:09:54

Like just press that button right there. But then

1:09:56

when it happens to you, you're like, well, no,

1:09:58

I would never, I would never. Advanced like

1:10:00

you lose the playback speed. No,

1:10:03

yeah person. I'll bet you're right I'll

1:10:05

bet you're right cuz I was like I think I've come on to something

1:10:08

They are they're speeding up lines to try

1:10:10

and make us watch even more below deck It's

1:10:12

like no one really fun to hit the wrong

1:10:14

button you yeah I think I

1:10:17

told you this at one time and an effort to

1:10:19

as an experiment I actually watched Miami slower Meaning

1:10:21

that like it'd be easier for me to take the

1:10:23

notes because they'd be speaking slower because they speak

1:10:25

so fast in that show And to

1:10:27

watch Miami with a slow playback speed now that

1:10:29

is a trip. They also like doing drugs It's

1:10:33

amazing Yeah, just

1:10:35

different drugs. Yeah, like down. It's all

1:10:37

just like taking quailudes or something anyway

1:10:39

these so now the people they all

1:10:41

arrive at The chocolate

1:10:43

factory and they're all taking pictures of

1:10:46

this guy and they make chocolate and it's like fun so

1:10:50

Fraser and Paris are decorating of course

1:10:52

this poor guy is just like and

1:10:54

welcomed chocolate and they're like, oh my

1:10:56

god It's chocolate. He's holding chocolate right

1:10:58

now All

1:11:01

right, so yeah Now there's

1:11:04

speed decorating for Christmas on the other boat

1:11:06

and Dylan is like holding sunny she's

1:11:09

like bending over the railing trying to

1:11:11

pull in a rope or something so he's

1:11:13

holding her like by her waist and He's

1:11:16

like I got you. I got you girl and she's

1:11:18

like, um, did you know that it's national women's day-to-day?

1:11:20

He goes in that case. I'll hold you tighter. I

1:11:24

Think that was a rare thing for me. I can do this myself

1:11:27

so bends in the mess

1:11:30

and And Kyle's

1:11:32

asking what's going on with Ben and Ben's like,

1:11:34

oh I've been thinking I've been thinking about my

1:11:36

ex recently Camille You know, I think there was

1:11:39

something about walking by that mop to

1:11:41

maybe just say oh, I miss her. I miss

1:11:43

Camille Yeah,

1:11:45

I miss women who don't who don't you know told

1:11:48

you and nag you yeah Cuz she didn't like you

1:11:50

and she dumped you the second she didn't have to

1:11:52

be on camera with you anymore Yeah,

1:11:56

she's like I'm way out of this guy's league I used

1:11:58

to date the quarterback from Alabama As

1:12:00

I've told everyone five thousand times.

1:12:02

Multiple times. So, um,

1:12:06

so Carl's like, well you're thinking you're a dick

1:12:08

or your head, you're thinking of your dick or

1:12:11

your head. And Ben tells us, I do like

1:12:13

Sunny, she's cute and she's fun to be around.

1:12:15

I just don't have that spark with Sunny and

1:12:17

you can't force something right, especially when you actively

1:12:20

try to undermine it at all times. So there

1:12:22

has to be a spark, right? Like last year

1:12:24

with Camille, that's the magic I'm after. All those

1:12:27

intellectual conversations and insights

1:12:29

into work ethic, etc.

1:12:33

Yeah, I'm feeling for Sunny because

1:12:35

I think they are together. Like

1:12:37

from the comments of her like bashing people

1:12:39

and coming after them for saying anything about

1:12:41

him, I'm assuming they're together. But

1:12:43

watching this now, I mean do you think

1:12:45

she's like hurt but also like, um,

1:12:48

Ben, I just want you to know that I

1:12:50

saw the episode tonight and I'm so sorry. I

1:12:52

know. Well, he probably

1:12:54

has a... He probably was like, well, you

1:12:56

know, I think I was just like in a really immature

1:12:59

place back then and I just didn't realize what I had

1:13:01

with Sunny and now that I do, I'll just, you

1:13:03

know, it's really her fault for pushing me

1:13:05

towards Camille and I'm glad that she recognizes

1:13:07

it now. Oh God. So

1:13:10

he calls Camille and

1:13:13

I love the producers for this because you know, they

1:13:15

were like, you know what? Camille probably

1:13:17

still likes you. You were posting that on your

1:13:19

Instagram. You should try calling Camille. Yeah,

1:13:22

there was some Sadie ass producer doing that.

1:13:24

And he's like, oh, I'm going to do it. So

1:13:27

he, he FaceTimes her and she answers and she's like,

1:13:31

yeah, it's me. Why

1:13:34

are you calling me? What's the deal? And

1:13:37

he's like, well, you know, I was just been

1:13:39

going down memory line and I don't know, I

1:13:42

just miss you. I guess she goes, you,

1:13:45

I've missed me too. I'm way hotter than any girl you've

1:13:47

ever had in your life. Yeah.

1:13:49

I mean, it's like, well, what are you up

1:13:51

to? And it's, by the way, it's so awkward.

1:13:54

She really is just looking at him like, why

1:13:56

are you calling me? Yeah. So he

1:13:58

says, what are you up to? And she's like, well, I'm practicing. sing my

1:14:00

new single, Don't Fuck Gross Guys at Work, which

1:14:02

is available on Spotify, because I just got a

1:14:05

new guitar player and I have a gig in

1:14:07

Fort Lauderdale. So, stuck on that. Yeah. So if

1:14:09

anyone needs me, I'll be at Barnes & Noble

1:14:11

singing by the Board of Games. Ben's

1:14:13

like, well I'm gonna be in Florida, I'd love to see

1:14:15

you just to say hello. And she goes, um,

1:14:19

yeah, I don't know. And

1:14:23

he goes, really? But just to see

1:14:25

that smile again, she goes, I

1:14:28

mean, I just got here

1:14:30

two months ago or so,

1:14:32

so I don't really know

1:14:34

if that's something I mean.

1:14:36

I don't need to be turned off

1:14:38

by all of Florida. Florida has not

1:14:40

completely killed my boner yet, and you

1:14:42

might just do it. Keep your face.

1:14:44

It's an ocean away. Yeah. See, the thing is this,

1:14:46

when you're on a boat, you only have a choice of

1:14:48

like three guys, but when you're in Florida, you have a

1:14:51

choice of like thousands of

1:14:53

guys. So, anyway. Yeah, see

1:14:56

the difference. Alright, smell you

1:14:58

later. Um, and he's

1:15:01

like, okay, we'll get back to that music

1:15:03

mic and great to catch you, babe. Bye.

1:15:06

And he's trying to play it off like,

1:15:08

yeah, nailed it, nailed it. But

1:15:11

then he hangs up and he's

1:15:13

like, oh god, Walmart's such a

1:15:15

loser. Finally, we're asking the same

1:15:17

question. Yeah. Oh, I

1:15:20

feel kind of stupid because it's over. It's a

1:15:22

hard pill to swallow and I swallowed a second

1:15:24

time. I mean, you have to learn the first

1:15:26

time, Ben. Stupid. But now I know. Back

1:15:28

to manipulating Sonny. Yeah.

1:15:32

On the bright side, Sonny is more

1:15:34

attractive to me again. Yeah. So then,

1:15:37

um, the guests come back

1:15:39

to the boat and they're like wooing because

1:15:41

it's Christmas and Fraser tells us how much

1:15:43

he used to love Christmas as a kid.

1:15:45

And then it cuts to Fraser as a

1:15:48

child singing in presumably a Christmas toy. Being

1:15:50

like, yes. Daddy,

1:15:53

mom today made cereal. I think she

1:15:55

might be insane. Cause of shock, sir.

1:15:58

Mom's losing it. Deck

1:16:02

the halls with boughs of awful

1:16:04

awful people. Fa la la la

1:16:06

ugh, ugh, ugh, terrible. Fa

1:16:09

la la la la la, La Santa's fat. So

1:16:13

it's back at the bar and one of the

1:16:15

ladies is like, oh my god, is Captain one

1:16:17

of the most handsome people ever? And

1:16:20

then the gay, whose name is Steven, is like,

1:16:22

oh my god, guys, I have a thing for

1:16:24

Fraser. I can't help, we know, good luck with

1:16:26

that. You're working, congratulations,

1:16:29

you made it into the mid-season trailer, you don't

1:16:31

have to work this hard. So

1:16:33

then the lady goes, he's super

1:16:35

single and super ready. So

1:16:38

now the chef is cooking and

1:16:40

tonight is the, tonight is the Feast

1:16:42

of the Seven Fishes, which

1:16:45

is something that I also served to

1:16:47

Jesus Christ himself on a very, very

1:16:49

bad night for him. Anyway,

1:16:52

it's an Italian tradition, so

1:16:54

being a chef Christmas is stress.

1:16:57

I much prefer Halloween, which

1:16:59

of course gives me fond

1:17:01

memories of also being in Salem, Massachusetts around 1623.

1:17:06

Bad things happen to some lovely

1:17:08

ladies, but you know, such is life.

1:17:11

What am I talking about? So

1:17:14

Fraser is dressed as Santa and he puts the hat on

1:17:16

and he looks in the mirror and he goes, riveting. I've

1:17:19

got the head the size of a peanut. So

1:17:23

then the captain comes to

1:17:25

check on the chef again, he's like, good day

1:17:27

mate. He's like, kind of pays now, please get

1:17:29

out. All right then, I'll get out then. So

1:17:32

then the gay is flirting with Santa. He's

1:17:34

like, oh my god, I've always wanted to

1:17:36

flirt with Santa. Totally marry Santa, I

1:17:38

don't say anything though. I'm

1:17:41

ready for you Santa. Hey Santa, I want to come

1:17:43

down my chimney. Hold

1:17:47

on, can I get video? I want to story this. I'm with

1:17:49

Santa, isn't he hot? Yes Santa! And

1:17:54

then Ben is talking to Kyle and he's like,

1:17:56

so what's going on with you and Barbie? You

1:17:59

get so close and intimate with Santa. someone and cross that

1:18:01

boundary and then she's just blowing you off now god women

1:18:03

am I right they're so crazy can't get into their heads

1:18:07

you cross that boundary and now she

1:18:09

just blows you off what did you

1:18:11

just do to Sonny after you've been

1:18:13

fucking her on this boat I hate

1:18:15

this person so much I know and

1:18:19

Carl's like well we just got intimate and not to

1:18:21

be shut down I've got a heart too you know

1:18:24

I've got a heart okay

1:18:26

relax so everyone's

1:18:28

getting in their Christmas outfits

1:18:31

and everyone's getting ready and stuff and they're all

1:18:33

taking pictures they're doing like oyster shots and they're

1:18:35

like surprised by the way she's like oh my god there's

1:18:37

an oyster in here let me take a photo of the oyster with

1:18:40

my back backwash and then Alex

1:18:43

is saying that the

1:18:45

Feast of Seven Fishes is important because

1:18:48

he's very or family oriented myself and

1:18:50

I just can't wait to see what

1:18:52

happens captain yeah he's

1:18:55

boring so the lady is like so captain

1:18:57

eats with them and they're like oh my

1:18:59

god tell us like scary moments in yachting

1:19:01

they're like alright well listen

1:19:04

here there's so much pirate

1:19:06

activity around Somalia and we see a

1:19:08

boat on the radar and it's not

1:19:10

supposed to be there so

1:19:12

we turn off our

1:19:14

course 20 degrees and

1:19:17

then wait they turn their boat

1:19:20

20 degrees we think oh god

1:19:22

we're about to die and it

1:19:24

turns out right

1:19:26

when I said cute Solanet which

1:19:28

means holy fuck I

1:19:32

turn around and we find out it's just

1:19:34

some Olli fishermen and they were turning because they

1:19:36

were worried we were gonna run over there fish

1:19:39

traps and I thought it was a warship then

1:19:43

I see this blonde lady jump off of

1:19:45

her boat with the lasso she lasses one of

1:19:47

the pirates she pulls them down in the water

1:19:50

she hits him over the head with something

1:19:52

big and yellow and deflatable until he's under

1:19:54

and she says god I

1:19:56

love that banana oh Yisha

1:20:00

seen the belly laugh I had as

1:20:02

we sent her but right over that

1:20:05

little dingy's fish fish fishing trips Oh,

1:20:07

man, I still have the net to show So

1:20:11

now pasta is coming and

1:20:16

It's it's shots of pretty

1:20:18

pasta and Alex the Yelp

1:20:20

elite maestro says So

1:20:22

here's the thing about shots of pretzy. It

1:20:24

actually means priest choker. Ha ha ha they're

1:20:26

all happy They're all like being very foodie.

1:20:29

So more food is coming out more food

1:20:31

The chef is cooking Sunday's ignoring Ben

1:20:33

can always come out. They're taking photos

1:20:36

of canola ease Everyone cheers

1:20:38

for the chef when he comes out to

1:20:40

say hi to everyone and the

1:20:42

captain's like I'm very impressed Happy

1:20:44

captain. Happy life said fishermen. Sorry about

1:20:47

that boy buddy I didn't mean to

1:20:49

destroy your entire family business with my

1:20:51

app, but you know things haven There's

1:20:55

a reason for that thing it normally

1:20:57

rhymes, okay, you can't just take the

1:20:59

rhyme out of happy captain happy You

1:21:02

thought how it works So then

1:21:04

Dylan is dancing around shirtless to his aunt

1:21:07

for affirmations and it says on the screen

1:21:09

again Dylan's affirmations Hardwork pushes

1:21:11

me towards my goals and nothing

1:21:13

can get in my way Not

1:21:16

even ice cream Now

1:21:19

Barbie and Ben are talking and Ben's like hey

1:21:22

Barbie. How you doing? So how about Kyle? I

1:21:24

woke up to him upset and he's been down

1:21:26

all day. I'm kind of annoyed at it He

1:21:28

wants to talk to you, but he doesn't know

1:21:30

how to go about it. It's like what? This

1:21:34

guy is literally gonna come up and advocate

1:21:36

and make Barbie feel bad and she goes Um,

1:21:39

well don't get mad at me for my personal

1:21:41

relationship with Kyle He goes well It's just disappointing

1:21:43

that the he's been there for you the whole

1:21:45

season and now you're pushing him aside Are you

1:21:47

gonna talk to him? Like

1:21:50

anyone's gonna die to me and get that only doctoring.

1:21:52

He's like, well, he doesn't know how though he doesn't

1:21:54

know how And she was

1:21:56

like, well, hopefully it's not the way that you're approaching me

1:21:59

because that's not fun And he's like, well,

1:22:01

he's a good guy and it's the last thing

1:22:03

he deserves. And she goes, yeah, there is a

1:22:05

girl who's crying every day here because of you,

1:22:07

you fuck. And he's like, well, I

1:22:09

don't appreciate how you're talking to Kyle. And I'm

1:22:11

going to post a picture of me making out

1:22:13

with Camille saying I don't approve of it. Right

1:22:16

now, just to prove how much I don't approve of it. Ben

1:22:19

treats Camille, I went to treats, um,

1:22:22

Sunny like shit all season long. Barbie

1:22:24

has like a one-night stint. Ask

1:22:27

Kyle to be discreet about it. Kyle doesn't

1:22:29

act discreet. Barbie gets annoyed. And Ben is

1:22:31

going to come in and lecture Barbie about

1:22:34

one single incident. But it's not, has nothing

1:22:36

to do with him. And, and

1:22:38

he and Ben has had the luxury of

1:22:40

not having people lecture him when he is

1:22:43

the one most in need of a lecture. I mean, get out

1:22:45

of here. Go to Shut Up Mountain. Yeah, she's like, sit the

1:22:47

fuck down. So then,

1:22:50

uh, hot tub night, ladies are hitting

1:22:52

on Kyle. And, um, one

1:22:54

of them's like, oh my God, if you

1:22:56

think about it, you have to talk to

1:22:58

people with accents, like, like this

1:23:00

sexy Scotland Scottish guy. He's like,

1:23:02

yeah, honestly, you're making a young

1:23:05

boy blush. Keep

1:23:07

it up, ladies. Keep it up. Yeah,

1:23:09

she seems really distraught right now. So

1:23:12

now, uh, Barbie and Paris are talking and

1:23:14

Barbie's like, I'm just gonna like fully attacked

1:23:16

by Ben about Kyle. Like, why are my

1:23:18

problems your issue? And Paris goes, oh,

1:23:21

well, you need boys. This stupid. I'm like,

1:23:23

can we just say

1:23:26

that Ben is stupid. Don't just be like, boys.

1:23:28

It's just, I trust me enough. I

1:23:31

think, I think Paris is so fucking sick of hearing

1:23:34

about Ben. Can't really blame

1:23:36

her on that one. She's just like, oh

1:23:38

God, we're still hearing about Ben for a

1:23:40

fuck's sake. Not the different woman crying about

1:23:42

Ben. So then we

1:23:44

cut to just when she goes, boys are

1:23:46

stupid. It cuts to the chef going burping

1:23:48

really loudly. Yeah, then Barbie and Nick are

1:23:51

in the galley and no

1:23:53

Barbie, Barbie and Kyle are

1:23:56

in the galley and of course Nick's watching

1:23:58

because he's the chef. So it's

1:24:00

like you're really pissing me off right now. You are

1:24:03

like so pissing me off like I mean, I have

1:24:05

a million things to do, but please keep talking about

1:24:07

it with everyone on the God. Okay? It's like so

1:24:09

disappointing. I don't even know who you are right now

1:24:11

Which is probably what my dad said when he saw

1:24:13

us banging on TV I did not just say banging

1:24:15

you did not hear that chef and if you tell

1:24:17

anybody I said that you're dead to me I mean,

1:24:19

I'm serious. You will never have another cock in your

1:24:21

goddamn life Cuz okay pair

1:24:23

game. That's all I need to know girl.

1:24:26

So he walks off Sorry about

1:24:28

that. So because she did this

1:24:30

all from next and it's just like giggling He's

1:24:32

like love us to but in my experience if you

1:24:34

have an affair You've got to do it with the

1:24:36

right person having a handsome chef come in and still

1:24:39

your girl could be pretty embarrassing I

1:24:41

guess I'm like and who would that handsome chef be?

1:24:43

I'd like to know Yeah

1:24:46

name them my family

1:24:48

so then Dylan Dylan's affirmations

1:24:50

I breathe calmly Everything

1:24:53

is working out for me I

1:25:05

So now Barbie and Kyler at the hot tub and

1:25:08

Barbie is like what and he says I said are you

1:25:10

okay? No, Kyle. I'm not

1:25:12

okay. He's like I Know

1:25:15

I screwed up, but I hope she can forgive

1:25:17

me. I apologize I said I wouldn't talk about

1:25:19

it and I did talk about it. I understand

1:25:22

that's piss you off I'm very sorry, but at

1:25:24

the same time have a voice after voice my

1:25:26

opinions as well. Oh Yeah,

1:25:28

well, I thought you had my back and then he

1:25:30

didn't but I'd like to have your back and your

1:25:33

front didn't I? I'm crying. Oh, you're not helping. Okay,

1:25:35

my dad's still watching So

1:25:39

she's just like I don't trust you I thought I

1:25:41

thought you were safe place for me But I don't

1:25:43

trust you and I don't know how I'm gonna move

1:25:45

on. So That is

1:25:47

that's the big cliffhanger Like

1:25:51

Will they be able to figure shit out? Do

1:25:53

we know where Barbie wait, by the way, I feel

1:25:56

like we didn't even talk There was a whole scene

1:25:58

where Barbie sat with Fraser and was like Like I'm

1:26:00

having a really bad day and I just, you

1:26:02

know, do we talk about that? Yeah.

1:26:06

Oh, we sure did. Where she was crying. I

1:26:09

must've missed that. I must've

1:26:11

gotten distracted by something. That

1:26:13

was some running theater right there. You're like,

1:26:15

oh, here he goes. But

1:26:19

yeah, I think

1:26:21

the storyline is stupid. I'm not really buying it,

1:26:24

but God, this episode was great. Just watching Ben

1:26:26

get rejected and look made to look like a

1:26:28

full on TV. I loved

1:26:30

it. It was so good for that. He's

1:26:33

terrible. Terrible. De-dus, de-dus. All right,

1:26:35

everyone, thanks for being here. Go

1:26:39

to watchyourcrapins.com for tickets to Los

1:26:41

Angeles, Dublin, London, and Birmingham coming

1:26:43

up this month, or next month,

1:26:45

May. Well, I guess, is it

1:26:48

May today? I

1:26:50

don't think days are in April. Is it May today?

1:26:52

Let me, you know what? Today, it turns

1:26:54

out that today is

1:26:56

actually April 30th. Okay,

1:27:00

well, it's not May day. As we knew, because of course

1:27:02

we knew today it was April 30th. Go

1:27:05

get your tickets. And if

1:27:07

you want this on video or our Vanderpump

1:27:09

Villa bonuses, please go to Patreon and look

1:27:11

for us, because we're there. We sure love

1:27:14

you guys. Thank you for being with us,

1:27:16

and we will talk to y'alls. And we

1:27:18

will talk to y'alls. I'm trying

1:27:20

to get the page up so I can do this

1:27:22

properly. We will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

1:27:26

Watch Your Crapins would like to thank its

1:27:28

premium sponsors. Ain't no thing

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like Allison King. Ashley Savone, she don't

1:27:32

take no baloney. Strolling to park with

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1:27:37

she's a Daniela. Itch-o! Erin

1:27:39

McNicholas, she don't miss no Tricolas.

1:27:42

She's never scary, it's the Green

1:27:44

Fairy. Jamie, she has no less

1:27:46

name-y. Hava Nagila Weber. Know

1:27:49

your worth with Jason Kurz. She's

1:27:51

the wind beneath our Jennifer wings.

1:27:53

Sit some scots with Jessica Trats.

1:27:56

She's always supplying, it's Kelly

1:27:58

Ryan. Kristin Anderson. Let's

1:28:00

give a kisserino to Lisa Leno.

1:28:03

We want to hang with Liz

1:28:05

Lang. Megan Berg. You can't have

1:28:07

a burger without the Berg. The

1:28:09

Bay Area Betches. And

1:28:12

our Super Premium sponsors. Somebody

1:28:14

get a 10cc's of BetsyMD.

1:28:17

We're taking the gold with Brenda

1:28:19

Silva. Let's get real

1:28:21

with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty

1:28:23

with Christine Pepper. Can't have

1:28:25

a meal without the Emily side. We

1:28:28

forever love Eva. Nobody holds a candle

1:28:30

to Jamie Kendall. We got our

1:28:32

wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not

1:28:34

harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a

1:28:37

little bit loony. Jenny. My favorite

1:28:39

Merto. Karen McMurdo. We love him

1:28:41

madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. Let's

1:28:43

go on a bender with Lauren

1:28:46

Fender. The incredible edible Matthew sisters.

1:28:48

Give him hell, Miss Noelle. She's

1:28:50

the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

1:28:53

Shannon out of a can in

1:28:55

Anthony. Let's take off the Pamela

1:28:57

plane. She ain't no shrinking violet

1:29:00

guitar. We love you

1:29:02

guys. Hey Prime members.

1:29:04

You can listen to Watch Our Crappins ad

1:29:06

free on Amazon Music. Download the

1:29:08

Amazon Music app today. Or

1:29:10

you can listen ad free with Wondery Plus

1:29:12

in Apple Podcast. Before you go tell

1:29:15

us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com/survey.

1:29:20

I'm Shimon Lai and I have a

1:29:22

new podcast called The Competition. Every

1:29:25

year 50 high school senior girls

1:29:27

compete in a massive scholarship competition.

1:29:31

I wouldn't say I have an ego

1:29:33

problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of

1:29:35

the competitors are used to being the

1:29:37

best and the better. And

1:29:40

they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This

1:29:42

will probably be the most intense that you've ever

1:29:44

gone through in your life. I remember that feeling

1:29:46

because I was one of them. I

1:29:49

lost. But now I'm coming back

1:29:51

as a judge. Also, a

1:29:53

kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because

1:29:56

if you want to understand what it's like to be

1:29:59

a young woman in America. I love a good

1:30:01

parasocial relationship with a celebrity who will probably

1:30:03

never know my name.

1:30:25

Honestly, who knows, don't count yourself

1:30:27

out. But my favorite part

1:30:30

about these views is how they're

1:30:32

ignited by the tiniest thing. Dana,

1:30:35

I love you. G.I. Jane too, can't

1:30:37

wait to see it. I accidentally

1:30:39

laminated my brows too much. It starts

1:30:41

small and then it gets so big.

1:30:44

Be honest Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this

1:30:46

day. I don't know her. We

1:30:48

all just have to admit, we're addicted. Everybody

1:30:51

has opinions, everyone picks sides.

1:30:53

Leave Britney Spears alone right

1:30:56

now.