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so you can live Claritin Clear. This

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is directed. Hi

2:25

everyone, welcome

2:28

back. This

2:48

is part two of a two-part recap. If you're

2:50

wondering where part one was, we'll go check in

2:52

the feed and be sure to subscribe so

2:55

that we always get your episodes. But enough of that,

2:57

let's get right back into the episode. So

3:00

Allie and Schwartz and Joe were talking

3:02

and Allie has this to say. It

3:05

feels like New Year's but it's not. Well

3:08

so, congratulations. Calendar insights,

3:10

a new podcast by Allie. It

3:13

feels like Easter but

3:15

it's not Easter. Thank you for

3:17

listening. Wow, Allie, you look so fabulous. Joseph, you look fabulous

3:19

too. Joseph, do you feel good? She's like, yeah, it's like

3:21

pre-concussion. I just saw the future. I saw that in your birth chart.

3:23

So she's like, yeah, see, money, you look fabulous. You look really good.

3:26

You look so good. You look good enough

3:28

to eat. Now that I would do that because we're

3:30

not dating and also I don't eat humans. I'm not

3:32

sick. Well, maybe I am. What about you two? Does

3:34

anyone have any ketchup? I'm just kidding. Give me your

3:36

arm. I'm not sick. I'm not

3:38

sick. I'm not sick. I'm not sick.

3:41

I'm not sick. I'm not sick. I'm not

3:43

sick. you

4:00

want to be humiliated on TV it'll be fun!" She's like,

4:02

oh, no, I don't really like negative energy. I think

4:04

I have to have a confession to enjoy that. Wait,

4:06

hold on one second. Alright,

4:08

I'm gonna take off. Let's do it. Come

4:11

on, negative? Wait, wait, hold on, dot dot dot. Can

4:13

we have a cutaway, please? Do I cut the kitty

4:15

like? Yeah,

4:19

don't worry, they're not negative. Oh, well, I mean, a little

4:22

bit negative. I mean, sometimes negative. Oh, I mean, but

4:24

if you didn't have negatives, you wouldn't be able to

4:27

take good pictures, right? So come on, let's do it.

4:31

Alright. Okay. So

4:33

Joe is like, I just, Joe

4:36

is like Ronnie watching this episode. I just really

4:39

want this to be over. I'm like, I'm

4:41

hoping that if I can say I'm sorry, she'll say sorry

4:43

back and like, I don't know, by the way, something

4:46

you should never hope from Katie that if I

4:48

say sorry, she'll say sorry back. Poor Joe. She

4:50

must have had her concussion already. She goes,

4:53

I don't know if she hates me because of Schwartz. The

4:56

answer is yes. We don't have to finish the sentence and

4:58

my connection, but like, he could date

5:00

a tree and she chop it down.

5:03

So like, good luck, next woman or

5:05

tree or woman tree or the grandmother

5:09

from Into the Woods who appears as

5:11

a tree. Good luck. Oh

5:13

my God. Well, this is another thing like I

5:16

was talking about there, the Ariana and Tom situation.

5:18

Like, why are you guys forcing it? Why are

5:20

you making Joe fly all the way to San

5:22

Francisco to get yelled at by Katie? Like this

5:24

was never happened. Tom broke up with her. It

5:27

doesn't even make any sense. Like Joe isn't a

5:29

part of this friend group. I don't understand what

5:31

they're doing. I mean, if they're

5:33

making Joe a permanent part of the cast

5:35

or whatever, maybe, but I don't really understand.

5:37

It just doesn't make any sense. It was

5:40

cruel. So Brad is sitting with Katie. Brad

5:42

is like one of the gays and he's

5:44

sitting with

5:46

Katie and is watching us. Schwartz and Joe

5:48

are approaching and Bracken. Here

5:51

comes my favorite cracked out person.

5:53

Like your crack. You're dressed like an

5:55

egg yolk. This is

5:57

a black type party and you're wearing all yellow and you're going to use

5:59

some but also look like a cracked out person. You

6:02

literally look like a cracked out person. You're just

6:04

like a gay following orders and I don't like

6:06

that. I don't like seeing order following gays on

6:08

these shows. I'm so sick of it. And not

6:11

just this one, but all of Bravo shows. It

6:13

seems like Bravo's like, you know what we need?

6:15

Some order following gays. Let's get us five gays

6:17

who just follow orders of straight

6:20

people. That's all I wanna

6:22

see on my channel, damn it. Like where

6:24

are our independent gays? Where are our Reza

6:26

gays? Okay. Where are our Reza

6:28

queen gays who do not take orders from anybody,

6:30

okay? From watching this, you'd

6:32

think gays are just a bunch of fucking muppets

6:35

with bleach blonde hair. Okay, I'm sick of it.

6:37

Stop following orders, gays. We're better than this. Not

6:40

you though. All the gays that are independent, throw

6:42

your hands up at me. Okay, so yeah, he's

6:44

like, grass, crack

6:47

head. So

6:52

then Joe comes

6:54

over and shorts is

6:56

like, whoa, you guys, you know,

6:58

so, yay, so, we're gonna open

7:00

up the show, show everybody. And

7:02

Brad's like, I am bleeding. Yeah, they're

7:04

just like, so shorts just

7:07

forces Joe into this confrontation. And

7:09

Joe's like, well, Katie,

7:12

I'm sorry. Well, I

7:14

just wanted to say like, I'm sorry if I

7:16

ever heard you and Katie of course goes, sorry

7:18

if, sorry if, and I have to

7:20

say, I'm a little over

7:22

the semantics policing of sorry if versus

7:24

sorry that. Honestly, it was something that

7:27

like, we used to make a big

7:29

deal about like, sorry if it's a

7:31

conditional apology, fuck you, it should just

7:33

be an apology. But at this

7:35

point, I'm actually over it. I

7:37

think we as humans, it's time for us

7:39

to accept that when someone says,

7:42

if I did this and I

7:44

upset you, that I'm really sorry, that it's

7:46

like, it's an apology,

7:48

it's not like someone's saying, if

7:51

I did this, but if I didn't do it,

7:53

then I'm not sorry. I think it's time for

7:55

people to like finally. I Reject

7:57

that. Well, I Love you. If That,

8:00

Paul. If that offended Irani than I'm sorry.

8:02

But I don't believe in God. This is

8:04

how I reject that. I've I'm sorry. I

8:06

reject that And this is why I'm rejecting

8:08

that. That's how you to apologize that I

8:11

agree that's embedded party the only not a

8:13

reality really been trained. We have been trained

8:15

for years now. How to apologize properly to

8:17

have to list sit you are sorry for

8:19

yet to be like I'm sorry that I.

8:22

Would. Did not consider your feelings when hooking up

8:24

with Swartz. I was so in my was

8:26

sore thumb infatuated. We became friends and we

8:28

became lovers. I became so infatuated with amps

8:30

having care about anyone's feelings but my own

8:32

and you got her in the crossfire. I'm

8:34

not really expecting anything from you by I

8:37

wanted you to know that I'm sorry because

8:39

I carry it around all the time and

8:41

I really truly am sorry. That's.

8:43

For your part of not I'm sorry if

8:45

I hurt you with that but to them

8:47

enjoyed. It is nice and we're taking katie

8:49

side. I think that of the reason why

8:51

of this writing sorry that as a better

8:53

apology but sorry if it just opens the

8:55

door. For. An

8:57

actual apology. And. A

9:00

moment of i tried to connect with them

9:02

over that apology to get derailed and semantics

9:04

because instead of the being light on to

9:06

express them I have remorse about a situation.

9:10

and it like if you know and if

9:12

a person says if instead of that and

9:14

then all the sudden we have discussed about

9:16

a person's that and just has this happened

9:18

literally right now and as moments. That

9:20

I guess the rather becomes the topic but

9:23

something else and not about the apology

9:25

sawdust. For those are I for the tags

9:27

or guess people like these days apart. his

9:29

moments that could have been like like

9:31

an apology moment where there could be progress

9:33

am against the rail for consumables S

9:35

F What about that? That's nothing apologize they

9:38

like. Okay now the conversation about how you

9:40

apologize. Or yeah as it is, you

9:42

know how you hurt me. It's not like I'm

9:44

sorry for her ear like what our just get

9:47

over and I'm sorry you're hurt by but nothing

9:49

that I did. You know like I need a

9:51

fucking lists and I need you to write it

9:53

down in an email so I can forward it

9:55

to everybody. I'm certain for more you've Babbitt is

9:57

I mean everybody to mouth especially on bravo. I

10:00

feel like a really really especially I'm gonna

10:02

pump Rothko. Look how many versions of people

10:04

come out like that? Look at. Zack's the

10:06

king of the I'm sorry like every year

10:08

he has a new version of Jack that

10:10

he is. I mean he's still doing it

10:12

on the valley like a compass. I mean

10:14

Mike, I'm sorry, but I'm I'm changing, I'm

10:16

difference, I'm I'm working on myself. He literally

10:18

says that this week I'm working on myself,

10:21

them or trying to same support who fills

10:23

my what I had already void. Older? yeah,

10:25

the The Last egg yeah try. And I

10:27

also have to say we're arguing right now

10:29

about this discovers fun. And like frankly I'm bored.

10:31

But I have to say. Been.

10:34

You are such a good person and such

10:37

a good friend and you do not apologize

10:39

for the sorry s if they're as. And

10:41

first of all, you very rarely ever owed

10:43

me an apology but whenever you've given one

10:46

it has never been a like sorry

10:48

if you're upset. Ronnie if never been like

10:50

that you are very good at being like

10:52

I'm sorry that this this in this. Hurt

10:55

your feelings. I see that is dead and

10:58

this is what I was thinking and I've

11:00

never met a better communicator than use. I'm

11:02

surprised that you're sticking up for the esophagus.

11:05

You know why you're off personal. Thank you.

11:08

But you're also get apologize or but

11:11

again we don't really ever have two

11:13

parties to each other that much so

11:15

that that's not what I must admit

11:17

I prefer is is different but I

11:19

do think there's a difference between saying

11:21

like but I'm sorry if you feel

11:23

sad. Of that is that

11:26

isn't sincere to me. but if someone if

11:28

you're saying something from the tone of like.

11:31

I think there's like an implication of the tone

11:34

of saying like eyes and even realize what I

11:36

was doing was attending U N. like if it

11:38

did offend you will then absolutely I'm I'm totally

11:40

sorry. like if it didn't than light of them

11:42

that than I definitely be. Don't have to it

11:44

into apologize for because everything is good but like

11:47

if what I did. Like. Hurt

11:49

you than oh my goodness I I feel

11:51

terrible about died and if I'm think that

11:53

that's so. I just feel like it's. it's

11:55

just a subtlety i think the where you put the if

11:58

it saddens can have a totally different tone I

12:00

do think saying that, I apologize that

12:02

I did this, is like a better

12:04

apology and it's stronger and

12:07

it really, it presents more accountability.

12:09

But I just think that like the moment,

12:11

it's become such a thing that the moment

12:13

that someone says if, when

12:15

you can tell that they're generally trying to really apologize,

12:17

it just is one of those things where then it

12:21

becomes an argument about tone

12:23

and semantics as opposed to like what

12:25

the substance of what someone's trying to

12:28

say. And as we know, this conversation

12:30

between Joe and Katie was gonna be

12:32

very, very substantial. So I'm really glad

12:34

that I really talked to our podcast

12:37

to discuss the semantics of this. No,

12:39

it's okay. I like your semantics. I'm

12:42

sorry if that's not the audience. I

12:44

like talking about stuff like that. But

12:47

here's the reason that this kind of bugged

12:50

me with Katie getting all defensive about it

12:52

is because I really wanna know what really

12:54

happened here because we don't really

12:56

know. And I don't know how much is just Katie's

12:58

feelings because from what we've seen,

13:00

the evidence has been Katie showing us

13:02

a text that said, Joe saying,

13:05

Katie, I'm so sorry. You're such a queen. I'm

13:07

sorry about your relationship. Please call me if you

13:09

ever need to. And then we saw that Katie

13:11

never even wrote her back a thank you or

13:13

anything like that. And then we

13:15

see another text where Katie writes back finally

13:17

and says, girl, what's up with you? One

13:20

minute you wanna say sorry, and the next minute you wanna

13:22

cut his hair or whatever she did, like

13:24

you want a hair model or whatever the text is,

13:27

I don't have it in front of me. But

13:29

it looked like to me that Joe was

13:31

trying to be Katie's friend and Katie was

13:33

like, fuck this weirdo and then told off

13:35

Joe. So to me it looked like this

13:37

girl doesn't really owe you that much anyway.

13:40

That's the initial vibe. So I'm just curious

13:42

to see what this was. So I hope

13:44

it all gets out on the table in

13:46

this conversation. Well, so I mean,

13:48

also it's like, was Joe, we

13:51

don't really understand truly the connection

13:53

of Katie and Joe as friends.

13:55

So like Katie is

13:57

acting as if it were, you know, crazy.

14:00

or Sassy or someone who had betrayed her, but

14:02

like Joe, we never even heard about Joe until

14:05

last season. So Joe was supposedly, from

14:07

what I've heard, and this is from,

14:09

listen, this is like the Marvel extended

14:11

universe of 18 million

14:13

podcasts, nine after shows,

14:16

multiple, there's so

14:18

many things to keep up with. But

14:20

from what I've read on Reddit, my

14:22

favorite is that Joe

14:24

was one of Kristen's friends, and

14:27

she kind of ingratiated, she kind of

14:29

warmed her way into the group that

14:31

way. And then when she was dating,

14:34

when Katie and Tom broke up, she

14:36

kind of jumped on that and

14:38

started hooking up with Tom and

14:40

then completely ghosted Kristen.

14:43

Now that's according to Kristen, who knows because

14:45

Kristen is Kristen. But that's what I read

14:47

on the internet. Yeah. All

14:51

I can go off of right now are vibes.

14:53

And I just feel like Joe,

14:56

I don't know what's going on. I think

14:58

that Joe was trying

15:00

to be, it seems like Joe was trying to be

15:03

sympathetic or nice to Katie, but

15:05

didn't really seem like they had much of a

15:08

friendship or whatever. So

15:10

anyway, she seems like Joe got

15:12

onto this show from dating Tom Schwartz. They're

15:14

trying to make Joe a thing. They're not

15:16

letting her be a thing, which I don't

15:18

know that I can really blame them. They're

15:20

always a little like that with new people

15:22

anyway, much less controversial ones

15:25

like this. And it's

15:27

just awkward. And so they're kind of throwing her

15:29

into the lines then and just being like, we'll

15:31

go over there and have a confrontation. We need

15:33

something to happen. And it's just, I don't

15:35

know that this person is really prepared for that. No,

15:37

Joe is not ready. I think Joe

15:39

was just like putting a baby on

15:41

a freeway. I think Joe

15:43

was anticipating that she'd be talking to

15:46

a chill person. And so she's

15:48

like, I'm

15:52

sorry if I ever hurt you.

15:55

And Katie does the sorry if. And Joe goes, yeah.

15:57

And Katie goes, it's not a sorry if. It's just

15:59

a sorry if. So Joe goes, okay, I'm

16:01

really sorry. He goes, it's weird. You're

16:04

weird. I was like, whoa.

16:06

That's like, Katie's being so mean

16:08

right now. And Lala goes, don't

16:10

say that. Okay? And Katie

16:13

goes, all right. It is what is. It is what

16:15

it is. Joe goes, well, do you feel like you

16:17

owe me an apology? No. Come

16:19

on. You have to admit you laughed at that

16:21

shit. I started cracking up at that part. I

16:24

was like, Joe, it's like, Joe, no. Turn

16:27

back, Joe. You're really going to go

16:29

up to Katie and ask for an apology. Oh

16:31

my God, girl, no. So

16:33

she's like, yeah, but like, I sent you

16:35

like a genuine text about the divorce. Katie,

16:37

I mean, it was genuine. It was a

16:39

text. It was a genuine text. Like there

16:41

weren't even any emojis in it. Yeah.

16:45

She's like, I literally used some data on

16:47

you. Katie goes, yeah. And

16:50

then something grew there. And then you asked, then you asked

16:52

like, like, do I, do I stay

16:54

with him or whatever? And, and

16:56

like, can I stay with him? And Joe was like, that's not

16:58

how it happened. Laws. You know, the way

17:00

that you moved, it's like you were texting him. Like you were texting

17:02

and saying like, oh, I'm so sorry, but I'm going to go move

17:04

with him now. So it was like, we're going to move.

17:06

It's like, it doesn't matter. You

17:11

guys still stayed together and had

17:13

sex. And

17:17

then you're texting Katie, like, I'm so sorry about your

17:19

divorce. And she goes, no, no, that was like months.

17:21

There were like months between all of these things

17:24

that were happening. And I just, I just, I

17:26

just, I wish I had a

17:28

space to explain that. Cause like, I mean, that's, that's

17:30

what I feel bad about. Okay. Well,

17:32

this is what I wanted to know because they're making

17:34

it sound like she was

17:37

like, Katie, I'm so sorry about your divorce.

17:40

Either while she was fucking Tom or while

17:42

she was trying to jump on Tom and

17:44

fuck him. But Joe is saying that there

17:46

were months between that happening and then her

17:48

befriending and then eventually sleeping with Tom. So

17:51

that's what I wanted to know, but it

17:53

never really gets there. Katie is like,

17:55

well, I feel like you've always had it for

17:57

him and you were waiting for your moment. And

18:00

Lao is like, I don't believe that. So

18:02

Ariana is just watching. And she's

18:05

just confused. Why is Schwartz bringing the

18:08

Skrill around Katie? Because it doesn't make

18:10

any sense. This is not

18:12

a confrontation that needed to be had. And

18:15

just Schwartz, Schwartz is just getting

18:17

off, I think, on these two women

18:19

fighting over him. I

18:21

think we're just watching Jeremiah tap dancing, because

18:23

we see producer Jeremiah later, who's trying to

18:25

force the common Ariana scene, because he's supposed

18:28

to. He's supposed to make the season finale

18:30

happen. And basically, their idea to

18:32

make the season finale happen is to throw chum

18:34

at these girls and watch the girls yell at

18:36

the guys. It's supposed to be like the big

18:39

girls. The girls get revenge on

18:41

the guys by letting them have it, but then everybody forgives

18:43

each other and we all move on. But it's just like

18:45

they're not playing this game. They're like, why the fuck should

18:47

we have to do this? I shouldn't have to shoot with

18:49

this chick. And I shouldn't have to shoot with my ex.

18:51

Find something else to do. Yeah.

18:54

So Katie's

18:57

like, next time when you want to love

18:59

and support someone going through a divorce, don't

19:01

move in with her ex-husband. And Joe's like,

19:03

I didn't move in. We just

19:05

had sex. Katie's like, fine. Don't stay

19:07

with him for two weeks. Have this couch

19:09

surfing. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't

19:11

do it. Don't do it. Don't do it for your couch. Don't you

19:13

know why you're going to get a concussion if you're standing on couch

19:15

and falling off? Don't fucking do it. Stay with someone else.

19:17

Stay with someone else. Literally go anywhere else,

19:20

Joe. And

19:22

then Joe's like, no. Just

19:24

let him go. And then this part,

19:26

I was like, OK, good for you.

19:28

Fucking finally. So Joe grew

19:30

some. I was like, fuck off.

19:33

No. You don't get to just. I

19:35

mean, this was weird because I had multiple feelings. Because

19:37

at one, I'm like, finally, she just stood up for

19:39

herself and was like, you don't get to call dibs

19:41

on a man forever. You're the one who dumped him.

19:45

But then seeing how hurt Katie was, I was

19:47

like, you see, this is like you want it.

19:49

It's like you leave somebody and you finally get

19:51

it up to leave them. But you still want

19:53

that guy to turn around and be like,

19:55

OK, I learned something. And it's like a

19:57

whole different chapter of hurt Okay,

20:00

now I'm fucking Kristen's friend the hairdresser,

20:02

you know, right? So Katie

20:04

is like Joe You're a fucking liar

20:06

and shorts is like she's not a

20:08

liar and now just point Joe's crying

20:11

She's like way out of

20:13

her depths, you know and laws like don't don't cry.

20:15

You're fine. You're fine You're fine. Lala is basically like

20:17

in the corner of like the boxing We're like give

20:19

it give him Joe some water like patting down her

20:21

face tending to her wounds like get back in there

20:23

Come on. You got another round. She can do this.

20:26

You can do this. You're not knocked out yet. Come

20:28

on. Come on Yeah,

20:30

Lala is like come on. I'm the only one

20:32

left to make an asset out of myself It's

20:34

reunion and I can't carry the whole things. Okay,

20:36

or this finale So

20:38

shorts is a cow Katie. Come on. He's

20:41

up a little Katie. I'm just like hey

20:43

before you think this is weird I'm gonna

20:45

stay with your ex-husband who you're not divorced

20:47

yet from you Probably untangling your fucking life

20:49

from and this is probably a difficult time

20:51

for you Well, you know what you

20:53

should have texted her back That's what I say because

20:55

if you had texted her back and been like thanks

20:58

Joe. That's such a sweet text But

21:00

when you didn't text her back, I think she was

21:02

like, well, I tried bye now. I'm gonna go fuck

21:04

Tom Yeah,

21:06

I mean I understand why Katie's annoyed

21:08

I fully get it but like I

21:10

think also like It's

21:13

time to move on from this. Okay, so Joe

21:15

is like what I wasn't thinking about you I

21:17

was thinking about myself because another woman you should

21:20

have thought about me As

21:23

as Teddy was friends as we were as those

21:25

works as well I was gonna say I don't think she

21:27

even has to move on I think if someone if some

21:29

if you don't like someone that your ex is fucking that's

21:31

your right She's just

21:33

not friends with Joe. I don't still understand what

21:35

the show is doing try to make this scene

21:37

even happen Like this just would never happen. You

21:39

would never go confront The

21:42

ex of the guy that just dumped you The

21:46

bizarre setup for the first place Yeah,

21:49

source like she just came over to make

21:51

peace not to confront I'm like you came

21:54

over to confront actually and Katie's like I

21:56

don't want peace Well, You

21:58

know, I can't. That are you with her

22:01

on that issue Like I don't want peace so can't

22:03

make get be upset with Katie. See.

22:05

Little is achieving all of her roles. You

22:07

know me out. The. Out so

22:09

generally I don't know I know this person

22:12

such as always crying you know as we

22:14

all knew she would and so sorts of

22:16

the clothes she just wanted it says he

22:18

sues really uncomfortable now I'm gonna have to

22:21

go break up with or against us is

22:23

got something else to cry about and doesn't

22:25

have something unsolvable to cry about like your

22:28

raids tv it's effect on him a sad

22:30

about how she feels her feelings are none

22:32

of my business that oh going. To

22:36

get totally this you want to be

22:38

my friend and keep a week for

22:40

me. I don't like ultimatums or quid

22:42

pro quo is like of a guy

22:44

broke well okay clever you've hired as.

22:48

Far as a solid for the

22:50

source, Bird Cages likes sick. I

22:52

didn't give you an ultimatum. I

22:54

just said keeper, wait me, it's

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off select plans for you today. It's

25:52

kind of funny because I was like Katie was being so mean to

25:54

Joe but then at the end I'm kind of like I

25:57

mean that's a pretty simple request that

25:59

she made. Yeah, why does she

26:01

have to like sit down and have

26:03

lunch with Joe? It's so weird. I

26:05

mean, Ariana being like, I

26:07

don't like the whole like sending your entire

26:09

fandom after the girl and being like, she's

26:12

a crackhead and all that stuff. You know,

26:14

like Katie, Katie does have moves that kind

26:16

of suck. But as

26:18

far as like the hanging out with Joe, like

26:20

what does she have to sit and like have

26:22

a powwow and forgive Joe and have like a

26:24

big come she doesn't even know Joe. She barely

26:26

knows this girl. This is more about Schwartz and

26:28

not being comfortable being

26:30

like amongst conflict. He just wants everyone to

26:32

get along so we can

26:35

film with everyone or he just wants to them

26:37

to fight actually. And I think he just wants

26:39

to enrage Katie and have women fighting over him.

26:41

He wants to have either total teams or total

26:43

chaos. What are the other? So

26:46

Santa ball is not you only bring you

26:48

only bring Joe around Katie to start shit,

26:50

especially after you've already broken up with Joe.

26:52

Like there's only one reason you're bringing her

26:54

here. Yeah.

26:56

Trigger. So

27:02

Santa ball. So Santa ball

27:04

is talking to Sheena and Lala and

27:06

Lala's saying she's again like,

27:10

we have the best food today for lunch. Oh,

27:12

I wish like I think that like in all

27:14

the years of shooting band of from rules, I

27:16

think the house in the end King was the

27:18

best food we've ever eaten in our lives. Wasn't

27:20

it great Santa ball? Oh, sorry. You weren't there.

27:22

Sorry. There's really rubbing salt

27:25

in his house of man

27:27

King wounds. And

27:29

Santa balls like bro, bro. I just wanted

27:31

to say that shorts told me you stood

27:33

up for me today. I

27:36

turned my light pink. That's

27:38

the grateful color. So I really appreciate

27:40

that bro. He's like, well, we're in

27:43

the middle. We're not Switzerland. We're friends

27:45

with both of you guys. Love

27:48

your PayPal. Huge fan for that. He's like,

27:50

thanks bro. Yeah. Well, what we need to

27:52

see from you is to step up and

27:54

be here for your friend. Shut up Brock.

27:57

Just be quiet. So then Sheena's like, yeah,

27:59

I understand. I already did the Oreo, and I

28:01

was terrible. I just wish that they, you know, like,

28:03

I just wish it wasn't so black and white so

28:05

she could see how much I'm struggling. I'm like, I'm

28:07

just trying to be loyal to her. It's like, it's

28:10

so hard, and I don't want to lose her, but

28:12

I feel like I'm losing myself. Literally

28:15

don't understand how she's losing herself in

28:17

this. So, so now they're

28:20

having cocktails, more cocktails than Schwartz is

28:22

talking to Dan. He's

28:25

like, hey, by the way, nice meeting you,

28:27

dude. He's like, really nice chilling with you

28:29

earlier today. Are you

28:31

guys gonna do something afterwards? You're not mad

28:33

at me about bringing that trash, comment, that

28:35

lunch today. Really, please don't beat me up.

28:37

And Ariana's like, I think after this,

28:39

we're gonna go to Applebee's. I mean, I'm all about

28:41

the Applebee's life right now. And

28:44

like, yeah. And then Sandoval comes

28:46

over, and Dan just was like, right,

28:48

Dan's just like giving him the

28:50

evil eye. Like, don't you dare come over here. But

28:54

he does, of course. And

28:56

Ariana's like, oh my God, this is not

28:58

happening. He's like, oh, I was looking for

29:00

you. Hey, hey, it's me. Tell him it's

29:02

just Tom Sandoval. Wow. So, hey

29:04

guys. And they're just ignoring him. He's

29:07

like, Dan, Dan, hey, Dan. Just wanted

29:09

to introduce myself. I'm Tom. Being a

29:11

sloop, Schwartz's mom, you know.

29:14

So I need to list my hits. Hey

29:17

Dan, I got you this lightning bolt necklace. Pretty cool.

29:21

Person who originally had it doesn't want it anymore.

29:23

So Tom puts out his hand to shake it.

29:25

Shake Dan's hand, and Dan does not receive it.

29:28

So then Tom essentially does the equivalent of putting

29:30

his hand into his hair. He just sort of

29:32

like, yeah. He tries to seem like he wasn't

29:34

doing a handshake, whatever, and he's like, yeah, man, I

29:36

heard you're a great guy, and I just want to

29:38

say what's up. And what you guys have done for

29:40

luck? So Dan's like,

29:42

I appreciate that. Yeah, I appreciate that. Okay.

29:45

I appreciate that. Well, Sharon, it's just about

29:49

CO2 and beer for you. Hope you get

29:51

denoted, motherfucker. So Sandoval. What

29:53

did you say to him? What did you say to

29:55

him? He's so handsome. He has so strong hair. He

29:57

has such big arms. What did you say to him?

30:00

I'm such a boy. Sorry

30:05

for interrupting you Ben. I'm

30:08

sorry if I interrupted you Ben. I

30:10

just said nice to meet you dude. And the only

30:12

thing? I'm not gonna lie. I got

30:15

very nervous. Yeah,

30:17

I feel like we need to leave now. So

30:20

yeah, and Ariana's

30:23

Elle is like, wow, like Ariana, you

30:25

just like looked down when he came over and

30:27

she's like, yeah I was talking with Logan because

30:29

Logan's at Beyonce right now. Which

30:33

is so funny because I remember when they

30:35

were fighting when she found out and they

30:37

were the last season finale when she was

30:39

going off on him and he was you

30:41

know excusing himself for everything that

30:43

happened and somehow blaming her like you never

30:46

spend time with me all you do is

30:48

hang out with your gay guys and talk

30:50

about Beyonce. And so

30:52

this one she's ignoring him while she's

30:54

texting her gay guy about Beyonce. I

30:56

was like, oh, it's just delicious isn't it?

30:58

And probably actively getting an offer to

31:00

make a guest appearance on Love Island too.

31:04

The other thing that she does with her gays. So,

31:08

I was like, I

31:10

was like, I feel like that that moment had to

31:13

happen. Ariana's like, um, it doesn't

31:15

have to happen at all. He's not in

31:17

my life at all. And she tells us

31:19

I'm not here. As

31:21

a cog in the machine of Tom Sandoval's

31:23

redemption arc. So you guys can do that

31:26

without me. So, um. This

31:28

was beautifully said and I'm glad she said

31:30

that and I hope that every hater out

31:32

there just hears that line because that's really

31:34

the whole point in this whole thing. It's

31:36

like you guys if you want to make

31:38

Tom Sandoval happen, go ahead. Stop fucking calling

31:40

me about it. Yeah. Exactly.

31:43

It must have been this must have been an

31:45

absolutely absolutely hellacious season for

31:47

her to shoot having him shoved in

31:49

her face scene after scene. So, Schwartz

31:55

goes up to Sandoval. He's like, you know, by the

31:57

way, I know you wanted to talk to Ariana, but

31:59

I know. I don't think now is a good time.

32:01

There's this really awkward moment at the house that man

32:03

came today. Oh God, that food was

32:05

so good. Oh sorry, sorry. But that just sounds

32:07

awkward. It sounds awkward. He's like, okay, all right,

32:10

all right, all right, all right. So

32:12

now it's time for Sheena to get ready to

32:14

do her singing. I nearly

32:16

forgot that Sheena's doing a performance on this episode. So

32:18

now she changes into her good as gold look. And

32:22

Kyle gets on stage and he's

32:24

like, are you guys all having

32:26

a good time with my best

32:28

friends? The cast of Banapub rules

32:30

everyone. Woo, just one of the

32:32

bros. Guess

32:37

what? Here's somebody else who follows me on

32:39

Instagram. You guys should follow her. Her

32:42

name is Sheena Shay and she has

32:44

a song that people have probably heard

32:46

called good as gold. And she's like,

32:49

hi. Oh my God,

32:51

everyone looks good as gold tonight. Which

32:55

I will not be singing. So

33:01

Santa Claus has some bullshit about how he's like,

33:03

he's like, you know what, like at first I

33:05

really wasn't so crazy about the song apples. But

33:08

it's really growing on me. I'm like, I don't

33:11

know, I'm like really stoked to see Sheena really pushing

33:13

her music. And like, it's cool that like, I'm kind of

33:15

the star of her music now. So yeah, I like

33:17

it. So now we have Sheena singing. All

33:20

right, baby, how are you guys? How you

33:22

like them? Apples, apples, apples, apples. Yeah,

33:25

I feel like I've fallen

33:27

back in love with music because I was performing. This

33:29

really means so much to me. And

33:31

Tom's really stepped up and he

33:33

helped us out when he didn't have to. Like before we were

33:35

just gonna do this into paper cups that

33:37

we cut the bottoms out of to use his microphones. But

33:42

he brought us an audio person and

33:44

he didn't have to. And he didn't even tell us he was doing

33:46

that. It's crazy. Hopefully

33:48

he continues down this path of

33:50

bringing me sound engineers when I wasn't expecting them.

33:53

He's changing. He's

33:56

so different now. So

34:00

Ariana goes, like after the performance, Ariana

34:02

goes over to hug Sheena, like, oh

34:05

my god you killed it, and there's

34:07

like, like they're toasting, cheers, and she's

34:09

like, yeah, hey, do you

34:11

know who her son is? And Ariana

34:13

was like, no, it's Sandoval

34:15

sound guy or whatever? And Ariana was like,

34:19

mmm, nope. Yeah, well, so

34:22

Sandoval like blew out this like sound operator

34:24

person to get like all the equipment and

34:26

like maybe like full me once, I don't,

34:28

or twice, I don't know, but like I'm

34:30

seeing like this genuine like hiring sound guy

34:32

side of Sandoval to him that like, I

34:35

just feel like when I met Sandoval 15 years ago,

34:37

I was like, there's this sort of guy that would

34:39

just like hire a sound guy for you if you're

34:42

ever playing on a private island in San Francisco, and

34:44

like it kind of happened. So like, I don't know,

34:46

like, I don't know, I think that like maybe like

34:48

he's having like he's like changing or something. Oh my

34:50

god, fuck off. And Ariana's eyes just

34:52

say it all. She's like, I will kill

34:54

you right now. Like just shut up. Yeah,

34:57

and I'm hoping it's changing. It's becoming a better person.

34:59

Like I just want to test it out. Like I'm

35:01

going to, I'm going to take him

35:04

to that like Frank, that Frank Sinatra karaoke club

35:06

and just see if he suggests anybody hand me the

35:08

mic. So

35:11

Ariana's like, it's just the same thing over

35:13

with Gina and I don't know why she

35:15

thinks somehow she knows this man better than

35:17

I do, but all right, girl, happy for

35:19

you. Dare I say, you in

35:22

danger, girl. So

35:26

she does like, I just want to continue to see if

35:28

he's like on a path of like growth and like, if

35:30

maybe a little higher sound engineer for like you or like

35:32

maybe for like Brock or like maybe for Lala, I don't

35:34

know. Like, I feel like there's like so many sound engineers

35:36

and like we all deserve them, right? Like maybe he's the

35:38

one to do that for us. So

35:41

can I ask you a favor? Like, I

35:43

mean, he's my ex boyfriend. I don't care about

35:46

his past and like he's

35:48

got a path of growth and I just hope he grows

35:52

far away from me and I hope he dies

35:54

in a fire and like, I

35:56

just don't need to hear about it. You

35:58

know what I mean? Read the same

36:00

air as me. Amazon can attain six I

36:02

know about like you're sitting room I I wrote

36:05

a song about are both and he's got my

36:07

prom which is also an apple and it's

36:09

like a sign from above. the like we're supposed

36:11

to be friends again because like one time

36:13

I was hungry but he didn't even know s.

36:16

And. He offered me a piece of cake which is

36:18

not an apple and I wasn't eating cake at

36:20

the time. but I did eat it. but I

36:22

was thinking about apple's So we're kind of best

36:24

friends. Mounts, You know what I mean. Dwyer Approval.

36:27

Honestly, just please don't talk to me

36:29

about the path of gross excited about

36:31

the growth is called us die that's

36:33

coming in right now. okay I'm focused

36:35

on that as you don't mind so

36:37

I add so then she decides yeah

36:39

but like I don't like heart as

36:42

you say like no contact by also

36:44

feel like you want like different. Apologies

36:46

for mammoths. Had no. No.

36:48

I don't want him to ever speak to me

36:50

again. I don't want apologies. Yeah, but like remember

36:52

what you said. Oh, I apologize for things you

36:54

know I said I'm I apologize and he's had

36:56

all. while I'm I ever going to get an

36:58

apology to step at. A

37:00

wanted to apologize just as it's I think

37:02

it's just is like beyond in that's all

37:04

I'm saying. Zappa. Like I

37:06

just like last. Like I said, I want

37:08

to deposits Yeah, but. But.

37:11

There's a sound operator me but I'm making

37:13

him apologize. feud five minutes. This is like

37:15

do not bring him over. You're basically the

37:18

subtext of this century. Good job and I

37:20

don't want to ever lose your a compromise

37:22

our friendship and I'm always gonna have your

37:24

back. I just feel like I care about

37:27

him. Offer out I bought me, I found.

37:31

An Ariana has lagged the same.

37:33

I want him literally never to

37:36

speak to me. A but ah,

37:38

I'm just because it doesn't mean

37:40

I'm. In a Stop Loving you Okay as

37:42

it were not going to be connected any

37:45

more of a hard carry on as like

37:47

this is like look to tells us I'm

37:49

in a protect myself keep myself out of

37:51

situations I find her for comfortable but I

37:53

never once said that I don't love her

37:55

where I'm going to stop loving her or

37:57

not going be connected anymore And then they

37:59

saw him. The eyes of all the times Ariana

38:01

said i will not have you so frazzled him

38:03

to fit the if someone wants to be president

38:05

their debts and humping swore at success or at

38:08

the same like I might have mutual friends with

38:10

them so we are not friends this. This

38:12

I don't even on not even called full of people

38:15

talking about the concept of sans to the to close

38:17

to Santa ball with. Ah

38:20

mah so them seen as like yeah but

38:22

on a monitor the is because you're not

38:24

losing me here my family By the

38:26

way she's not speaking to her brother. Analytics

38:29

result of the cluster fuck those a clusterfuck

38:31

of the seasons and by the way that

38:33

fucking Jeremy guy he writes this text

38:35

about taxed to talk foods or me to

38:38

stocks me a like human or not me

38:40

He wrote a tweet that was like heather

38:42

for to out the fans of the

38:44

van the pub move this use are not

38:47

charge someone based on the camera thought someone

38:49

else a statement samba. Good. The quality of

38:51

them have put even fucking talk about talking

38:53

about just he's trying to sound smart and

38:55

like talk and six very in English is

38:58

to basically tell the fans to stop bullying

39:00

him until they know the full story. What

39:02

happened with him and his sister is like

39:04

a bad school of thought. Good p Burrow

39:07

Be quiet, Nobody cares about you sir Ganga.

39:09

So. They that sorry other and sooner

39:12

they're accepting a very nice moment because you

39:14

can see right now. It

39:16

just. It already has eyes what suits or

39:18

yeah disease was in is doing. And.

39:22

Even. Though I you can tell the

39:24

Ariana his promise so and noise machine

39:27

or right now she knows what her

39:29

friend needs and she hugs her and

39:31

the as as I can never gonna

39:33

lose me or my family like to

39:35

worry and they had of really lovely

39:37

sweetheart.com like crying they can move kiss

39:40

and Ariana goes know. Me:

39:42

And you were wearing years and I don't

39:44

want to worry. You're never gonna lose me.

39:46

I can't be sued, her, my family and

39:48

that out of nowhere sand of all appears

39:50

like out of. his

39:52

is really nice moment that fan of

39:55

all just like there as fast that

39:57

around like a by as is your

39:59

fault that there like oh yeah because he

40:01

gets just so obvious you know it's like and

40:03

here it's there was she knew to butter her

40:05

up and then here marches them hey hey

40:07

it's me see that great job by the

40:09

way you know great job and she just runs

40:12

off and he's like wait

40:14

one second like she knows what you're gonna

40:16

try and do it's like yeah

40:18

and it's also so dick of him because they're

40:20

having like a nice moment he interrupts it but

40:22

he's also interrupting it because he wants to talk

40:25

to Ariana and knows he can have Sheena to

40:27

help you know smooth and over

40:29

things and be a mediator so Ariana's like no

40:31

so she's running away no I just wanted

40:34

to tell her I'm sorry man I'm sorry

40:36

even though Schwartz already told him don't tell

40:38

her this tonight yeah

40:40

so then Sheena's like don't do it she doesn't

40:42

want to talk to you it's not happening

40:44

already tried okay I already tried a P P

40:46

ala yes how you like that so

40:49

then Jeremiah is over there like doing wings

40:51

and he's like Ariana Ariana don't do this

40:53

please just Jeremiah I mean the job okay

40:55

please don't get me fired and she's like

40:57

him fucking walking up on me talking to

40:59

Sheena he's like I know told him to

41:01

do that did I say that I didn't

41:04

say that I don't know why he did

41:06

that why would he've done that crazy he

41:09

doesn't give a shit if I died in a

41:11

ditch or got a fucking deadly STD the way

41:13

he was fucking around behind my back that is

41:16

non-informed consent and he does not deserve to speak

41:18

to me he does not get access to me

41:20

so then she was like um so

41:22

like she doesn't want to hear from you Santa

41:25

Paul like I told her about our conversation last

41:27

night and she thinks that you're performative like in

41:29

that I'm an idiot so what you know what's

41:31

funny she knows me well enough to know that

41:33

I'm like not performative

41:35

me no hold on I've

41:38

got a I just booked a gig I'm

41:40

about to forming later on my

41:44

performative you cheated for months with her

41:46

best friend and lied about it sir

41:49

so Sheena's like what do I mean to you

41:51

so now Sheena's mad because she's like I just

41:53

went to bat for you and I got swatted

41:55

down and he's like you mean a lot to

41:57

me dude she goes because we're filming or because

41:59

of live He's like, oh,

42:01

I'm there. I show up, you

42:03

know, Hassan. Look at Hassan. Don't

42:06

make me look like a fucking idiot, Tom. I'm

42:08

like, you were the one on stage just now

42:11

going, eh, pretty, pretty all around. Don't

42:13

make me look like an idiot.

42:16

You're dressed like C-3PO, pretending you're

42:18

Britney Spears at a party for

42:20

jewelry at Treasure Island. Like, what?

42:24

It all kind of feels like a soap opera because

42:26

they're all like, there's tuxedos and ball gowns. And she's

42:28

like, and she's like, huh, don't make me look like

42:30

an idiot. And then she struts off

42:32

and he's like, Gina! And she

42:34

just disappears through red velvet drapes in

42:36

her gold dress. It was like

42:38

very campy. And then

42:40

Billy leaves there too. She's like, um, are

42:42

you okay? He's like, what happened? What happened,

42:44

Tom? Like seriously, what happened? Are you

42:47

coming to my show at the laugh factory? And

42:49

he's like, dude, Ariana's going

42:51

around saying that I'm not being honest. And

42:54

did I perform it in? You know what it

42:56

is? Ariana's fucking performing. She doesn't even like any

42:58

of these motherfuckers. So she can

43:00

fuck off saying I perform it in. Oh,

43:03

wow. So then we come back

43:05

over to Jeremiah and he's like, don't end

43:07

like this, Ariana. Don't end like it. And

43:09

she's like, no, it's all about a performance

43:11

to the audience. He wants 30 seconds with

43:13

the audience. And she tells us, whatever it

43:15

is that Tom is trying to get for

43:17

me is not for me. It's for him.

43:20

I am the final boss in his video

43:22

game of redemption. And because he can't get

43:24

to the final boss, he's fucking pissed, which

43:26

I thought was hilarious. Also because it's like

43:28

an inverted. So good brothers. It's like where

43:31

you're playing Bowser trying to get tomorrow. Bowser.

43:33

Yeah, he just wants a chance to twirl

43:35

Bowser by his tail. And she's like, he

43:37

will not touch my tail. Okay. This

43:41

tail is going to Applebee's. And

43:43

it is just such a perfect way of saying

43:45

it because the whole season is like having to

43:47

knock down, you know, all the little bosses like

43:49

first, you get swords to forgive you. Then

43:53

you have to have that conversation with Katie

43:55

where she doesn't throw a pan at your

43:58

head and then Lala forgives you. like

44:00

the final forgiveness and she's like, no, no,

44:02

no. Commission,

44:07

here comes one right now. You

44:11

know the third host of this show is

44:13

named Bueller. Okay, this is my dog. I

44:16

love that dog and I would do anything

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is not an insurer and is not

45:37

engaged in the business of insurance. So

45:43

she leads with Dan and Brad

45:46

and a random girl and they're gonna get

45:48

a lift and Sandoval's like, you know what,

45:50

if you don't wanna film your ex, like

45:52

don't be on the show. Like seriously, don't

45:54

sit back on like your lazy ass and

45:56

collect a check for doing nothing. So

45:59

I like how he... He is

46:01

insisting that he's not performative and yet his

46:03

argument is like, why are you coming on

46:05

the show and not performing? Like

46:08

I am. But

46:10

also why is the definition? I

46:17

just remembered the final boss music,

46:19

the Bowser castles music. Technically that's

46:21

just the underworld theme. That's

46:23

just the regular. Bowser's castle is like blah blah blah

46:26

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

46:30

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

46:32

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Or actually what was that? Zelda?

46:35

Hold on, I'm gonna look at Bowser castle. Bowser's castle. Blah blah

46:37

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

46:40

blah. I

46:42

think I was doing Zelda before. Oh, well there's

46:44

a bunch of them. Hold on, let me see how this

46:46

sounds. There's also...

46:49

There's also Mario Brothers

46:51

3, that other castle

46:53

music which I always

46:56

feel like is not

46:58

very scary sounding. It's

47:00

like... Bum bum bum. Bum

47:03

bum bum bum bum bum bum

47:05

bum bum bum. Oh, that's the

47:08

ship music, right? Huh? That's

47:12

the ship when you're on the airship? Well,

47:14

it's also... It's just bad music but it's also

47:16

one of the Bowser castles theme. Oh, yeah yeah

47:19

yeah yeah yeah. I know which one you're talking

47:21

about. Yeah. Um, okay, so anyway,

47:23

I don't like this. So Tom's going off about

47:25

how she's so lazy and won't earn a check.

47:27

Why does earning a check mean she has to

47:29

sit there and take your fake

47:31

bullshit? She's still showing up to shoot this show.

47:33

She is. She doesn't have to shoot with you.

47:36

And it's ridiculous that you get to go fuck

47:38

somebody over and then it's their job to come

47:40

on and what? Scream at you about it? Or

47:42

cry with you about it? No, you fuck that

47:44

up. You don't just have the right to shoot

47:46

with whoever you want. That's bullshit. If she was

47:49

just staying at home, that's one thing. But she's

47:51

not. Yeah, so Sandoval,

47:53

now he's furious because he can't have

47:55

his redemption arc. So he starts, you

47:58

know, spiraling and he goes on. to

48:00

everyone and she was like, she doesn't fuck

48:02

with you guys on the wheel! She fucking

48:04

talks shit about all of you guys! She

48:07

doesn't show up for your shit! She's not

48:09

gonna come to your thing! I'm gonna come!

48:11

Because when push comes to shove, I want

48:13

autographs! Okay? I'm fucking there, dude!

48:17

Okay let's see, we all know what you've

48:19

done with Katie. You've been nasty to her

48:21

for years. You've called basically Lala a

48:25

hoe how many times? Or insinuated how many

48:27

times? Please stop acting

48:29

like you're some saint and the only person who

48:31

truly likes anybody. Give me a fucking break with

48:34

that. And then, yeah, it's

48:36

like, I always show up and she's like, I

48:38

know Tom, I know! You have

48:40

been there for me, that's why I'm struggling because you have

48:42

been a good friend! He's like, I'm so sorry, I mean

48:45

there are few and it kills me, I'm trying to be

48:47

a good person again even though I just like totally love

48:49

my mask fall but I know you have to put up

48:51

with a lot, I know I mean, I love you man,

48:53

she hates you, she's a bitch! Just

48:56

fucking losing it. And

48:58

then Sandoval's like, you know, I know it's going to

49:00

be like really hard for people who stick by me

49:02

or like stick up for me and we see like

49:04

slo-mo shots of these heroic

49:07

people like James and Schwartz

49:09

and Lala who've found

49:12

a place in their heart to forgive Sandoval.

49:14

He's like, these people haven't ever forgive, haven't

49:16

ever, haven't even forgive, haven't ever. These

49:19

people haven't even forgiven me, they're just recommending me as

49:21

a person and they're just still

49:23

doing, going together a relentless amount of hate for

49:25

that. And then there's just like all these tweets

49:28

being like fuck Lala, fuck James, James is awful,

49:30

Lala's a piece of shit, oh my god, she

49:32

knows, she sucks! Yeah, but

49:34

also look up tweets from every

49:36

single season and you'll still find those tweets because

49:39

that's Twitter and that's just how the internet works,

49:41

you know? I mean, they are

49:43

taking shit for it but they take shit

49:45

for everything and guess what? It's usually consequences of

49:47

their actions on television that they're taking shit for

49:49

and this is another example of that, you know?

49:53

So Ariana's people are going to Applebee's, they're

49:55

like making Applebee's happen, which I like because,

49:57

you know, I used to work there. I

49:59

was a good apple until I was a

50:02

bad apple and then I was they're gonna

50:04

go to the server ceremoniously dropped from the

50:06

tree weapon they're gonna eat good in the

50:08

neighborhood so

50:11

lala is now talking to she man sandoval

50:13

and she's like I have my own point

50:16

of view that I've been biting my tongue

50:18

because it's very hard to do this and

50:20

it's a lot of breaking the fourth walls

50:22

so I'm gonna do it now this

50:24

happened to her the world rallied around

50:26

her and she

50:29

now thinks she is beyond this and it's

50:31

bullshit that she can't film with somebody that

50:33

she thinks she thinks under the same roof

50:35

with it's a lot it's a lot that

50:37

she's saying don't fuck with tom sandoval don't

50:39

fuck with tom sandoval but I'm gonna sleep

50:42

down the fucking hall from tom sandoval I

50:44

get it he cheated you did a really

50:46

fucking shitty thing tom hot dog fingers but

50:48

it was weird how you looked us all

50:50

in the eye and said a lot of

50:52

shit but he did not kill somebody enter

50:54

rand enter rand for a pickleball hangout day

50:56

with the boys please I know

50:59

and like I'm gonna get I'm I'm you know

51:01

I'm gonna go back up there okay because this

51:04

is unfair and lala is like no she moved

51:06

on eight days later okay eight days I remember

51:08

I agree with you I just want to know

51:10

that you're like I want you to know that

51:13

you're like not alone in this yeah man like

51:15

we have to have like tough conversations like not

51:17

easy man like I've never in

51:19

my life's experience someone who

51:21

gets cheez-ons and suddenly she

51:24

becomes god okay oh

51:26

god and and la la when that quote

51:28

came out on the trailer when that trailer

51:30

dropped and she said that everyone was like

51:33

oh my god fucking lala betraying ariana she

51:35

went on to watch what happens live and

51:37

she said no I think you're

51:39

gonna see when that happens in the season like

51:41

I love ariana I'm not thinking you're gonna see

51:43

in that part of the season the

51:45

context of it that I was being a really good friend in that

51:48

moment I was like I don't she's like

51:50

and who knows people are probably gonna agree with me by

51:53

the end of this it's like no

51:57

not really context or not context was exactly what we

51:59

thought it was So we all

52:01

know that Lala is just bitter because she was

52:03

hoping to have this whole, you know, victim

52:06

Lala thing after the Ram stuff happened and she

52:08

didn't get it and Ariana stole her thunder and

52:10

I'm just, you know, love her or hate her.

52:12

I'm really glad that Lala is going to get

52:14

a chance at

52:17

a really positive storyline this season with the

52:19

whole pregnancy thing. That's going to be great

52:21

to watch on TV. Oh, sorry.

52:24

Yeah. Those cameras are going to

52:26

miss that whole thing. How

52:29

much of a budget live it is. Yeah.

52:31

Amazon live. Get ready for a lot

52:33

of baby content. Roku TV. See

52:36

you there. So

52:38

I'm like Shell Station Gas

52:41

Pump television. I've got to get my

52:43

10 seconds in. So

52:46

I love filming this show because

52:48

it's real and I find

52:50

it to be tremendously healing and

52:52

for Ariana to walk out this way. It's just such a

52:54

slap in the face. This is what we

52:57

do. We've been doing it for most of our

52:59

time. And

53:01

so when she says for Ariana to walk out

53:03

this way, she says it in a way that

53:05

sounds like she's walking out on the show, right?

53:07

Because people walk out of like a shooting date

53:09

all the time. Like people leave

53:11

the set and they're like, I'm going home. Like that's

53:13

nothing new. But here she, for her

53:15

to highlight for Ariana to walk out this way

53:17

as a slap in the face sounds like Ariana

53:19

quit or something. So now we

53:22

see like all this vintage footage. We see

53:24

like Lala sitting down for what we assume

53:26

is her first interview. And then we see

53:28

Sheena and everyone's faces look different. And there's

53:30

like this jazzy nostalgic song playing that's like,

53:33

well, what are you? I

53:35

can't let it lower anything. And

53:38

we see Sandoval. Ariana

53:41

looks like she's 12 years old when she sits

53:43

down. She's such a baby. And

53:45

then James looks largely the

53:48

same actually, which is kind of funny to me. And

53:51

Katie sits there and she has like this, she

53:53

has a statement necklace. It looks like a piece of

53:56

metal fell from the sky and splattered on her chest.

54:00

that everybody they're like oh my god just

54:04

cuts to Katie Younger going like I

54:07

died I just think that's so funny it's like

54:15

no no matter what the

54:17

face morphs into it's always

54:19

obviously young Schwartz to like

54:21

oh yeah that's right he was

54:24

a model and so then we

54:26

start seeing all he's never really any proof of

54:28

that let's be honest he did

54:30

an underwear ad once right

54:33

and remember it remember

54:36

it yes I do actually they were

54:38

like Tom you should do some push-ups

54:40

and some sit-ups and some starvation music

54:42

on kind of spend a while I

54:44

still got it right right like no

54:46

Tom Schwartz used to

54:48

do the like he was definitely like in

54:50

that like JC Penny Labor Day sale you

54:52

know commercial like three days left for the

54:55

JC Penney's hand and he's

54:57

like they're holding like a beach ball so

54:59

there we start seeing scenes

55:01

from the show from all these years like

55:03

we see Kristen we see Stasi we see

55:05

like everyone and we see like breakups

55:08

we see crying we see fights

55:11

it's like the show is like

55:13

pausing right now to take a look

55:15

back at what's happened and watch these

55:17

lives and where it's gone and I'm

55:20

like are they gearing up for a serious

55:22

finale here is it like what is happening I

55:25

don't know because they've dropped so many hints like

55:28

Sheena and Lala both just bought really big

55:30

expensive houses in the valley so it seems like

55:32

obvious that they're gonna move there if it was

55:34

just Lala I wouldn't think that that was

55:36

a huge thing but Sheena doing it I mean

55:39

Sheena's the beach girl Sheena's insistent

55:41

on living at Playa or Marina so

55:44

for her to move to the vow is

55:46

super bizarre so it seems

55:48

like they're gonna be making a move I

55:51

don't know because the show is still getting

55:53

great ratings you know yeah like maybe is

55:55

there gonna be like a wholesale recast I

55:58

don't know but you have to think that the producers were

56:00

in the meetings going, what the fuck are

56:02

we doing? Like we had to bring Joe

56:04

in? Like Joe's like not even in the

56:06

cast. Like we had to bring Joe in

56:08

to get yelled at by Katie and we

56:10

had to try and force another Tom versus

56:13

Ariana because literally nothing is happening. Like we're

56:15

on a cast trip, two people went to

56:17

bed early to watch Housewives in Bed and

56:19

went to sleep with the lights still on like, what

56:22

are we doing? They're probably freaking out. Poor Jeremiah

56:24

is over there like trying to snort coke off

56:26

you know, a PA's ass like,

56:29

just keep me going kid. Just keep

56:31

me going. Like they've gotta be freaking

56:33

out. Yeah and Lala says,

56:35

we've all experienced high highs and low

56:37

lows. So should we show the footage

56:40

of Rand ordering those chicken breasts again?

56:42

And there's a responsibility that comes with

56:44

living your life on camera. You have

56:47

to be truthful even when it's extremely

56:49

uncomfortable. Oh really? Okay.

56:51

Spiderman. Lala the paragon of virtue over

56:53

there. And then she even adds in

56:55

at some point because this becomes like

56:57

a 10 minute Lala monologue, which is

57:00

super weird. Another centering Lala as the

57:02

lead of this show, like the moral

57:04

compass of this show, which is just fucking bizarre.

57:07

And they give her this really long slow

57:09

motion monologue to us like talking about the

57:13

lessons of Vanderpump Rules and what it really

57:15

means to be a reality TV star. And

57:17

what it means to be honest. When Lala

57:19

has done nothing but fucking lie on this

57:21

show, what is she talking about? And then

57:23

she even references, yeah, I've lived untruth

57:26

on this show once and

57:28

I know how painful it was. And then they cut

57:30

to her lying about banging a married

57:32

guy when she was dating Rand as the

57:34

one time that she was ever untruthful on

57:36

this show. Are you fucking kidding me? You're

57:38

still spending the whole season like, I had

57:40

no idea there was a casting couch. What

57:42

are you talking about? She's done

57:44

nothing but lie her entire time

57:46

on this show. Am I taking

57:51

crazy pills? No,

57:53

I mean, I just, you know, it's

57:56

Lala. It's Lala, yeah.

57:58

And that's her character. It's just so

58:00

funny that she's building this thing up like, and

58:03

part of it being on bandit pop rules, it's

58:06

being a truth teller. I know.

58:08

Okay. With great power, some

58:11

great responsibilities. And

58:13

she's like, and you know, I was, I'd

58:15

lied one single time and it was suffocating.

58:18

And I don't think Tom and Ariana were ever

58:20

honest about their relationship until Tom was caught cheating.

58:23

And you think you can, you

58:25

get to be honest for one moment and then you get

58:27

to pack it all away and all is good. Fuck

58:30

this. And so it's

58:32

almost like, so now I'm like, maybe did

58:35

Ariana get fired? Did Ariana quit? Did

58:37

she get fired? I'm just so confused. I'm trying to

58:39

like read between the lines here. So now we're back at

58:41

the party and there's like split screens and we're watching Ariana

58:44

and her crew taking the longest walk of all time to

58:46

their lift. I mean, they've been walking for 10 minutes. We've

58:48

been watching them walk across Treasure Island, across the

58:51

Bay Bridge to get to their lift. And

58:53

meanwhile, everyone's at the party and Katie

58:56

is like, sometimes you just have to like

58:58

stick to your fucking boundaries. And like, if

59:01

your piece is more important than that, then

59:03

fucking stand your crown. And

59:05

Ariana was like, we all live these difficult

59:07

parts of our lives on camera. But

59:10

if it's something that actually really mattered to

59:12

you regardless, he would do it anyway.

59:14

And he never tried to call me off camera. He

59:17

could have written something in a fucking letter on

59:19

the kitchen calendar and I could have read it

59:21

at my leisure, which is hilarious. She would have

59:23

thrown it out immediately. We all know. But

59:26

if you'd only do it on camera to meet,

59:28

you just showed your true colors. Yeah.

59:32

What I mean, you have a point. Like when

59:34

you're only willing to, when you're only making an

59:36

effort to apologize, first of all, after Sheena tells

59:39

you exactly what you need to apologize for is

59:41

insane. And that you're only willing to

59:43

do that on camera at a season finale, because

59:45

Jeremiah is trying to make you. It is like

59:47

not real, right? So then

59:50

Lala is acting like she's so emotional now.

59:52

She's like, well, it fucking happened. I

59:56

broke and I promised myself

59:58

I wouldn't break. And

1:00:01

then Ariana drives off

1:00:03

in a Tesla and the pretty we just hear

1:00:06

we don't see it We just hear on the

1:00:09

mics Jeremiah goes that's the end guys and Schwartz

1:00:11

says that was a fucking plot twist Lala breaking

1:00:13

down like that and the Santa Volkas. I Love

1:00:16

it. It's good for me Like

1:00:19

just showing what a piece of shit he is

1:00:22

all the way to the very last line. Oh

1:00:25

Yeah, how is there? He's like I got her off

1:00:27

the show But we have to figure it

1:00:29

out and we've seen some clips from the Do

1:00:32

you think that's what it meant? What do you think he meant?

1:00:34

I'm sorry to interrupt you there I think that I

1:00:36

think that's what it meant It sounded like

1:00:39

I thought he was talking about la la

1:00:41

breaking down finally turning on Ariana publicly Everyone

1:00:43

basically turning on la life. I'm already all

1:00:45

of the above. It's all the above I

1:00:47

think like Ariana like Lala saying it Ariana

1:00:50

leaving. It's it's the vibe feels like she quit

1:00:53

or got fired I don't know if it's true.

1:00:55

She obviously shows up at the reunion. The

1:00:57

reunion looks very emotional and And

1:01:00

they apparently didn't really see this finale and they

1:01:02

made them watch it at the reunions. That way

1:01:04

they could get raw emotion. Oh No,

1:01:10

well all I keep saying there's something unprecedented

1:01:13

That happens at this reunion.

1:01:15

It's never happened before and it changes everything

1:01:18

and I wonder if that's what she meant

1:01:20

Maybe that's what it is. They showed a

1:01:22

teaser like yesterday That was like them watching

1:01:25

or they saw some of the finale but not all of

1:01:27

it so then now they all watched it and now they're

1:01:29

all like Reacting

1:01:31

to that. Yeah, they worked out. I wonder

1:01:35

Because we watch these we're watching this early.

1:01:37

So we don't know the Reaction

1:01:39

to it from everybody yet, right? And

1:01:43

a lot of times they don't announce anything until

1:01:45

after the finale's aired So I wonder if there

1:01:47

is I wonder if she

1:01:49

did quit if or she did get fired

1:01:51

That'll be interesting if this airs and that

1:01:53

happens. I didn't get that impression. But now

1:01:55

that you say it I do You

1:01:58

know, although I believe in everything I'm very easily

1:02:00

swayed. But it would make sense

1:02:02

why they put those on pause. Like it makes sense

1:02:04

like the pause is, well it's not from the fact

1:02:06

that Ariana is shooting Love

1:02:09

Island this summer and is going back

1:02:11

to Chicago. So she won't be around.

1:02:13

But like if Ariana indeed has left

1:02:15

the show for whatever reason, they

1:02:18

probably are taking this as a moment to be

1:02:20

like, okay, let's like this, this

1:02:22

chapter is over, Scan the Ball is over. Let's

1:02:24

take a moment to rethink like who's on the

1:02:26

show, what are we going to focus on, who

1:02:29

are our stars, yada, yada, yada. So I don't

1:02:31

think it's like, I don't think

1:02:33

the show needs to be on pause because nothing

1:02:35

is working. I think they just they needed to

1:02:37

have a recovery season from what happened. It was

1:02:40

never going to be a super like

1:02:42

silly season. For me the season

1:02:45

I loved it. I loved it.

1:02:47

I was into it the whole time. I thought it was

1:02:49

a good season. I thought it was a good season. I

1:02:51

didn't think it was a terrible season. I just think it's,

1:02:54

you know, I think that the you

1:02:56

start relying on these shows, they start

1:02:58

relying on the thing that

1:03:00

made it big. It's like last season was a Scan

1:03:03

the Ball. So this season has to be Scan the

1:03:05

Ball all the time. Like they think that people just

1:03:07

want that all the time. And

1:03:09

it's like, okay, it's 15 episodes later into

1:03:11

this and you're still trying to make the

1:03:13

same conversation happen about an affair that now

1:03:16

to us, the audience is over

1:03:18

a year old. And it's just like,

1:03:20

stop trying to make it happen. It just doesn't

1:03:22

make any sense. Well, but I still like the

1:03:24

show. I thought all the stuff that was non-Scand

1:03:26

of all stuff was actually pretty funny stuff. You

1:03:29

know, even though the second half seemed to sort of move away

1:03:31

from Scan the Ball a bit.

1:03:33

And then they kind of brought it all the

1:03:35

way back again for this finale, but it's fine.

1:03:37

I I'm looking forward to the

1:03:40

role. Yeah, I just thought it was fun. I

1:03:42

just had a fit today because I was like,

1:03:44

I can't have another conversation about Tom

1:03:46

being, I know I had a piece of shit. Three

1:03:48

part reunion coming your way. We get

1:03:51

to go off to Europe in the heat

1:03:53

of in the midst of us Vanderpump

1:03:56

rules reunion spree. So that's something

1:04:00

to. Anyway,

1:04:02

thank you everyone for being here and for

1:04:04

listening and we will catch

1:04:06

you. We still have the valley and summer house

1:04:09

this week. So gird your loins.

1:04:11

There's a lot to discuss. Thanks everyone

1:04:13

and we'll catch you on the next

1:04:15

one. Bye. Watch

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She ain't no shrinkin' violet

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putar. We love you guys.

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Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch

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Shimon Yayi and I have a new

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year, 50 high school senior girls

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compete in a massive scholarship competition.

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I wouldn't say I have an eco

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all vying for a huge cost prize. I

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remember that feeling because I was one of them. I

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Because if you want to understand what it's

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today, The Competition's not a bad place to

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tonight. From Pineapple Street

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Studios and Wondery, this is

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the climate-ravaged year of 2072, the

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city of Pura stands as a

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miraculous green haven, a geo-engineered paradise

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that protects fortunate residents from the

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global catastrophes of heat domes, fires,

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floods, and droughts. Demetria Lopez heads

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up Pura's public relations, tirelessly promoting

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the city's idyllic image, but when

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she stumbles upon a dark secret

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that if exposed would be the

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downfall of Pura's existence, she must

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decide who and what. She

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is willing to protect. From Wondery,

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the makers of Academy and Dr.

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Death, The Last City stars actors

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