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#2419 The Valley: S1E08 Empath Ban!

#2419 The Valley: S1E08 Empath Ban!

Released Thursday, 9th May 2024
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#2419 The Valley: S1E08 Empath Ban!

#2419 The Valley: S1E08 Empath Ban!

#2419 The Valley: S1E08 Empath Ban!

#2419 The Valley: S1E08 Empath Ban!

Thursday, 9th May 2024
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Episode Transcript

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store today. Welcome back for another episode of Reality Life with Kate Casey. Hope that you are having a great week and this is going to be an episode for the books. Lots of you are going on vacation and you want something great to read. If you're going to be on a plane, you're going to be at a hotel, maybe you're going to be at the beach, and you want

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comparable available plans, planned features and taxes and

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fees. Me very. Well.

1:59

Hello World, the what what? Grow up

2:01

all the podcast for all of grub

2:03

we love to talk about on your

2:05

brother or money. that's when over there

2:08

have been hi Renee how are you.

2:11

Is. And do right Gay

2:13

guys! Welcome to the Valley Day

2:15

As a huge day. Your water

2:17

crap ends. Because. We're here

2:19

he announced like every other day where

2:21

we're here, but also because. The. Smart

2:24

really big day. Oh you know why?

2:26

Because we put out a as saying

2:28

asking people to be transcript writers we

2:30

got hundreds of submissions. hundred know more

2:32

about job as close I cannot believe

2:34

it or so. Touched and honored

2:36

at Levi's yes are going to do this

2:38

I'm so that's exciting as our lives are

2:41

about to change and the Muschamp Harding on

2:43

my from Allen and also we're going to

2:45

view Robot next week. We are leaving so

2:47

soon for hims to Taylor Swift and then

2:49

we're going to do a lot of shows

2:51

and Europe will not a lot threats but

2:54

we're going to be in London, Dublin and

2:56

we're also gonna be Nz fabulous Birmingham. So

2:58

here's what we have decided to do. This

3:00

is the official announcement if you forget what

3:02

the is to good or Instagram which is

3:04

at watch what happens. You know and

3:07

Shrimp Gov Nikki! another website called the

3:09

scraps to said com at the and

3:11

were download the app hey everybody you

3:14

to download Instagram? Okay so I'm. A

3:17

first stop organ They do hours

3:19

London. So which is Amsterdam which

3:21

is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

3:23

Open mic and a damn tax

3:25

because of course and will have

3:27

in front of me cause I'm

3:29

not prepared at all. Okay it's

3:31

rats as the Beverly Hills Amsterdam's

3:33

Season Five Episode sixteen them were

3:35

going to go to Dublin and

3:37

we're going to be doing Real

3:39

Housewives of Orange County. Sam rocks

3:41

in shock waves. Season Eleven Episode

3:43

fifteen and then would be in

3:45

Birmingham and burning. I'm. Pardon me

3:48

and will be doing Real Housewives of

3:50

Orange County case of the Vicky's or

3:52

which is there Iceland episodes and that

3:54

is season Twelve episode seventeen said D

3:56

C a thing there They all take

3:58

place in Mexico. Very. Exciting.

4:01

Yeah and ah yes, be bigger

4:03

that Burgoyne on a European tour.

4:06

We're gonna bring our recaps on

4:08

the European tourists who and so

4:10

obviously the Amsterdam episode is the

4:12

one where renowned throughout the glass

4:14

down and Dublin and there's to

4:16

Dublin episodes to wonder Where we've

4:18

chosen is of course the one

4:20

where Tamra hyper ventilator in the

4:22

sprint or van And then the

4:24

ah, the Islands' episode that we're

4:27

recapping is naturally be absurd where

4:29

Vicky is taken out of the

4:31

hotel. With a towel on her face to go to

4:33

the hospital. Because. He's time as secure

4:35

with his on a vacation and here

4:37

we go with verbally. This is a

4:39

video recap available on Patron Problems on

4:41

Demand and a bonus will be coming

4:43

up later this week. Okay, was get

4:45

into it. We open object Britain's. And

4:49

mad Zack's as I was wrong. the zebra

4:51

nice what is it says? I climbed European

4:54

lives for Saturday or guy yummy Japanese a

4:56

twenty four times I took i maybe a

4:58

little lad to be for them me for

5:00

that They. Have

5:03

a don't is it out on me to normal

5:05

other but I were up a little bit annoyed

5:07

I yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

5:09

a zigzag all right well I'm here. Go take

5:12

a shower you want to you my God commands

5:14

and his army druze, whatever guidance, focus our this

5:16

is our right now so are cruises just sitting

5:18

there and licking the window. Treatments

5:22

try to do something to distract from

5:24

his turbo. Parents will at least seven

5:26

about how screams com I feel exactly

5:28

as measured per anything went on the

5:30

window. You know how do you go

5:32

Cruz I believe in you And bring

5:34

me back Ross I. Was.

5:39

Humbled Thing sing the same song to you I think

5:41

the my about. So

5:43

wasn't always mammals beer cheese cause I saw

5:45

thread on Reddit. It was like a life

5:47

changing thread where I questioned really everything I

5:50

know where they said it used. To be called

5:52

me Mossberg Beer cheese but I had a me mom.

5:54

And. saw would think that that meme would

5:57

have resonated with me enough to remember it

5:59

but matter calling it Mamaw's beer cheese.

6:01

Have we just been let astray this

6:03

whole time? Has Memaw copyrighted? I

6:06

always thought it was Memaw's, but it's possible

6:08

that it was Mamaw's and because you have

6:11

a Memaw, you're like the main person in

6:13

my life who says Memaw, that it's very

6:15

possible that it became Memaw, because you probably

6:17

said Memaw because you like Mamaw. I think

6:19

there's a difference between Memaw and Mamaw, and

6:21

I've always looked at people with Mamaw's as

6:23

kind of hicks, because I have

6:25

a Memaw, and I feel like Memaw's

6:27

classier than Mamaw. Whenever I heard Mamaw,

6:30

just because I was a kid, so

6:32

I heard Mamaw automatically, it was like,

6:34

you're wrong, but that wasn't good manners,

6:36

Ronnie, have good manners. I mean, look at me, Mr.

6:38

Manners. I would just think

6:40

in my head, trash. I

6:43

have to assume it was always Mamaw's beer cheese, because

6:46

I don't think Britney is going to change from

6:48

Memaw to Mamaw. I think whatever

6:50

it is, you wouldn't change from

6:52

Memaw to like Granny or

6:55

Grandma. No, no, Granny was a different person.

6:57

We had a Granny, too. She was a

6:59

real nightmare. Everyone knew not to fuck with

7:01

Granny. Yeah, it was different numerology, so

7:04

I wouldn't do that, but I'm wondering if they were trying

7:06

to make Mamaw's beer cheese or

7:08

Memaw's beer cheese, and then there was

7:10

copyright infringement. Probably some

7:12

listener was a smartass and took out the trademark before

7:14

Jackson Britney ever thought, too, as they had to change

7:16

it to Memaw's. I mean, I don't know what it

7:18

is, but I feel like it's an important part of

7:20

history that nobody talks about. Where else are you going

7:22

to hear about it other than here? Well,

7:25

I did do a search for Mamaw's beer

7:27

cheese. I did a search for Memaw's beer

7:30

cheese, and from 2020, Mamaw's

7:32

beer cheese came up, and

7:34

the site is called Cooking by Bravo. So

7:38

Reddit led me astray. You know what? I've just wasted

7:40

an hour on a Reddit thread. Thanks a lot, Jerk.

7:43

You're ruining my life. Wait, what

7:45

did Reddit say that led to astray? They

7:48

said that it used to be Memaw. Oh,

7:51

okay. Yeah, it looks like it. I think

7:53

it was always Mamaw. All right, well,

7:55

sorry for wasting everybody's goddamn time. Okay, I'll

7:57

understand if nobody comes in Europe. Okay,

8:00

so then, um, Jack is like, yeah, just

8:02

lick those windows. Uh, just, just come on.

8:04

You know, he's being a smart, smart ass.

8:06

Like, guess you learned that from your mother.

8:09

Cause everything bad that happens in that

8:11

family is Britney's fault. As we all

8:13

know. And shut down. Don't stop it.

8:15

Jayad stop for licking the window. I'm

8:20

still looking up this. I'm now, I'm now gone

8:22

down a path of like that mom's beer cheese,

8:24

because there's a Twitter account for my mom's beer

8:26

cheese that I tried to go to right now.

8:28

Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Beer

8:31

cheese. Now I want to get,

8:34

I want, so do you

8:36

know that Britney cart, right? If

8:38

you go to at my mom's

8:40

beer cheese on Instagram, that's just

8:43

Britney coming soon when that

8:45

was okay, 2018. It

8:49

was clearly mama's beer cheese.

8:51

So Reddit is now officially

8:53

declared. It was always mama's

8:55

beer cheese. Yeah. It's

8:58

always mama's. Always. Well, they're

9:00

dead to me. I've just killed the resident in

9:02

my mind. JK guys. JK. Okay.

9:04

Oh wow. They have their own Instagram. What are the

9:06

pictures like? They have 13,000 followers on mama's beer cheese.

9:08

They have three photos. They have three

9:10

photos. One of which

9:12

is mama's beer cheese coming from six

9:15

years ago. And

9:18

then there's a picture of Andy Cohen trying it

9:20

and Britney cheering in the background like, Hey, life's

9:22

eating mama's. He like that. And

9:25

Britney, a gift of Britney naming all

9:27

her favorite foods. I like titter cheese,

9:30

sharp cheese, shredded cheese, string cheese. Some

9:33

Britney's wedding vows posted on there. Okay. So

9:35

then, uh, Britney sends Jax up to give

9:37

the kid a bath so that she can

9:39

have a very private conversation with her mother,

9:43

which is, uh, you know,

9:45

going to be sad. We know because we see

9:47

a flashback to 25 minutes after Jax stormed out

9:49

of the date nights and then returned.

9:52

So this is what we didn't see. Jax

9:54

came back after, you know, maybe

9:57

banging someone at the nearest AMPM. So he

9:59

came back. And Britney's like, are you

10:01

gonna try and come in here and be nice right now?

10:03

What are you doing in here? You gonna be nice to

10:05

me, Jack? You gonna make me feel pretty? You gonna take

10:07

me on a date night? I don't want you in here

10:09

unless you make me feel pretty right now, James. I'm good.

10:12

And he's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I made

10:14

you cry. I'm sorry. I made you cry. And

10:16

she's like, well, you definitely have to be off

10:18

the back. I was like, I know. I know

10:20

my delivery sucks. I know it sucks. I look,

10:22

I'm learning. I'm learning. I mean, look, I'm just

10:24

a 47 year

10:26

old guy. I'm still learning these things.

10:29

So Britney's telling her mom, she's like, well, there

10:31

was definitely a moment at dinner where we were like, talking

10:33

about baby number two and like, Jack's just got a block

10:35

saying he has doubts a little bit, you know? Because he's

10:37

like, opened his bar and he's like, he's just gonna be

10:40

there a lot. And like, I don't know. I think that

10:42

until he gets there, it's actually like, until it's like, actually

10:44

like, open. Like, I'm not gonna know how it's gonna like,

10:46

affect our relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know,

10:48

mama. And Sherry's

10:50

like, well, I never thought it

10:53

was a good idea if I

10:55

won. I don't think it's good

10:57

for a marriage. I always said

10:59

that. And I'm sticking to it.

11:01

I hope I'm wrong. I really

11:03

hope I'm wrong. Lady, you suggested

11:05

she marry Jackson in the first

11:07

place. You have no fucking

11:11

cred. What do you say? Like, you have

11:13

no credibility. Credibility? Yeah. No one's gonna believe

11:15

you, Sherry. Okay. Go back to your white

11:17

out lipstick. Also, Sherry

11:20

is jumping on the Britney. Let's just make up a whole

11:22

new accent thing. Have you noticed

11:24

she's like, her accent's like, literally changing to a different

11:26

state. She's

11:29

just protecting her. Her accent is like the iPhone. Wrong now. It's

11:32

just like her, whenever she is just in

11:34

a different state. Like, you know how the iPhone

11:36

like, automatically updates the time zone. Just her accent

11:38

automatically updates. She's like, well, back to the conductor.

11:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember,

11:43

you're not landing in Mexico, but your phone is

11:45

still like, you're landing in Mexico. Don't

11:47

Worry. We've got you covered. Or whatever. Does

11:49

that ever happen? It happens to me all

11:51

the time. So It's like Britney, you know,

11:53

your accent has landed in a completely different

11:56

state. But Don't worry. Cricket's got you covered,

11:58

babe. She's pronouncing date night like, doit. Night

12:00

or day? Moink. Moink. Think

12:02

we'll call him Our Law and My Fair

12:04

Lady and Community Theater. Now Why pronouncing it

12:06

like that? No one else has a date?

12:08

Moink. And. Has it has a

12:11

lot of actually bridis like it's very close.

12:13

the people don't realize that Billie I like

12:15

the southern accents consider and to British very

12:17

very quickly and I would you make my

12:20

mark Thank god my growl at my mom

12:22

know I have never hurt moink I've never

12:24

heard of. I've never heard like a certain

12:26

like certain regional southern accent that sort of

12:29

do that they liked or adult like I

12:31

de vie yobo book that bad like the

12:33

a D right? very good as Burke was

12:35

a bit out of our is he like

12:38

I wouldn't do that oh the. of that

12:40

was that he go a bit like

12:42

this about somewhere so other boy not

12:44

I mean just spreading southern. I'm not

12:46

all southern. it's also the spectrum of

12:48

are terrible accents kind of melting together.

12:51

You know, like maybe to sound like that

12:53

to us because our your heart you're not

12:55

have access to good Britain reproduce accent. Is

12:58

so incredibly strong. It's is a

13:00

while out of Iraq have never

13:02

heard and I got a Kentucky

13:05

accent As Drago is, what looks

13:07

for accidents is literally like a

13:09

cartoon. I'm in. God bless her

13:11

so now you can help the accent you

13:13

you know you're eager would see can that's

13:15

why make fun of make his mom I

13:18

wouldn't just like totally mocking be less stupid

13:20

at this is Martha as to sit see

13:22

it changes you've like overdoing it more I

13:24

guess to play into this like oh boy

13:26

me also say Obama cases when could do

13:28

mack okay well maybe to sound as a

13:30

matter of honor of like why are you

13:32

talking like that You don't talk like that

13:35

I've been watching this woman on Tv for

13:37

fifteen years. or whenever I mean I'm exaggerating

13:39

years I do that. Because I feel

13:41

like I'm almost. I'm like in my late

13:43

forties so I feel like I'm old now

13:45

some a lot to do stuff like that

13:47

like the like back when I was in

13:49

the worth twenty seven years ago. Now says

13:51

the Access. Okay. Sorry. I pressed the

13:53

think that taxes accent is the is this

13:56

is the sleeper like I think that like

13:58

I'm just noticing his Michigan accent. So

14:00

strongly these days it's only I think it's

14:02

own been there but like we've been distracted

14:04

from it's but now I don't know I

14:06

feel like of I'm costly hearing it everywhere.

14:09

It's like is like know what I have

14:11

to do that person like wow wow wow

14:13

wow what I do dagger isn't like it's

14:15

really. Really. but it's it's

14:17

there and I placed the i was just

14:19

some bad as a times today for sir.

14:21

Yeah I don't know is this is only

14:23

about like. As

14:26

it's like does he have like accent and

14:28

the with for nice like competing or something

14:30

unless I think but who am I think.

14:33

Also it's a little hotness wearing off you

14:35

know like now I think if you ever.

14:38

You know how when you pour milk into cereal

14:41

and make that snap crackle pop noise? I think

14:43

if the milk with expired it would just be.

14:45

I know a couple part of it's just like

14:47

have a worse accept. Like there's some yeah, like

14:50

you notice when something's expiring that you wouldn't notice

14:52

before. like maybe was hot enough For for that

14:54

we didn't notice that. but now that he's less

14:56

hot we have to notice different things. Like we

14:59

have to pay attention to different things that we

15:01

just notices back. I think that when people get

15:03

tired of their accents or to come out more

15:05

like whatever they do to try to hide it.

15:08

They just don't have the energy and

15:10

I think that axis exhausted at this

15:13

point you know and so like Israel,

15:15

Misick and or voices is really starting

15:17

to come through mean so I'm here

15:19

we go. So gas taxes so learning

15:22

he's just a baby so suicide oil

15:24

you know drugs I will be your

15:26

lovely. Gotta go know mama reduced really

15:28

bothers me the mom I'm so bored

15:31

by all day about it about it

15:33

and then we see a flashback to

15:35

three weeks ago where me where mammals

15:37

like com. Well I don't know

15:40

how excited are supposed to be.

15:42

Butts all will open in a

15:44

bar of mine. Told me back

15:46

to France of open a bar.

15:48

Narrow divorced man. yeah

15:50

and that say i know i know i

15:52

have l i know that well but the

15:55

open a bar you know you open a

15:57

bar get a divorce okay i want this

15:59

little boy grown up with his mom and

16:01

dad in the same household. I

16:03

want this little boy to grow up and see what

16:05

a dysfunctional marriage looks like. I don't want this bar

16:07

to come in between whatever

16:09

is left of this alleged marriage. I

16:13

don't want to see my grandson living

16:15

away from his father. I want to

16:18

see his father in the bar. That's

16:22

how we do it where we grew up. Brittany,

16:24

tell him. I want my

16:26

grandson to pick up Jackson's toxic traits. That

16:28

way someday he too can find someone just

16:30

like his mother. We

16:34

hung out in the bar all the time. My parents took us to

16:36

bars. It was fun. Brittany

16:39

is like, you know, me

16:41

being who I am, I just still want

16:44

to try and do it around mama. She's

16:46

like, was the bar opening in three weeks?

16:48

Brittany or what? She's like, we got like

16:50

17 days mama. How

16:53

many weeks is that? I don't know.

16:57

Three weeks and three days. Yeah. We

17:02

just gave Brittany good math skills. So.

17:07

Shot positive vibes. So

17:14

now Danny and Nia are walking

17:16

the twins and

17:18

they are they get a FaceTime invite from

17:20

Janet because Janet's messaging everyone

17:22

because she's going to have hibachi dinner. So

17:25

keep Tori's spelling away. OK, so

17:28

Janet is like saying, you know, I want to

17:30

invite everyone to an outdoor hibachi dinner. And then

17:32

he's like, heck yeah. Hold on

17:34

one second. That

17:38

zombie for can't wait. I'm

17:41

like, I'm going to text and call everybody

17:43

today. I just want to have a reset

17:45

night where we can actually have a ton

17:47

of fun. You basic ass, Janet. Fucking hibachi.

17:49

I get the fuck out of here with

17:51

your basic. Could you not rent

17:53

a ski ball machine? Get out of here. I

17:56

hate Janet now after this episode, by the way.

17:58

You Don't get to come on this show. The most boring

18:00

person and then start recasting the So Ma'am

18:02

you better get on your damn hands and

18:04

knees and think Christians ask for bringing you

18:06

on the sound the first place. Guess he

18:09

was putting the So with Jax Unity Sit,

18:11

sit sit there box of about people don't

18:13

get to come on here and try recast

18:15

are Cup Half Mary Post that on who

18:17

the fuck you think you are but I'm

18:19

not going your stupid about see them and

18:21

he can throw up with your own damn

18:23

face. Yeah I also

18:25

like have sex can be a big

18:27

reset night but it's not going above

18:29

the person that we have conflict with

18:32

so really nothing can get reset. It

18:34

all birds as can continue on with

18:36

our normal dynamics. Yeah.

18:39

Out that we see the text

18:41

ring sent all over town and

18:43

them I'm. Chris. Him just

18:45

gets a.dot.back from we got addresses

18:48

apartments and they have Brooklyn the

18:50

Gecko which is crazy products named

18:52

his. Bronx. Wow but

18:55

yeah I'm crazy or cause you know

18:57

Luke hates the box like you know

18:59

he? a year that is I need

19:01

open air. I kept me in a

19:03

place without to so much electricity. Their

19:05

thought is disgusting wasteful. So why would

19:07

you name your gecko that. I

19:10

also think it's like funny it's another

19:12

to fill a people name, animals and

19:14

children after boroughs and New York City

19:16

when they don't have any real attachment

19:19

to them. I mean I don't think

19:21

Luke has an attachment to the Bronx,

19:23

he might. It's like David Beckham their

19:25

me a child Brooklyn. I. Mean

19:27

ah does David Brat pack them have

19:30

like of. The have a strong

19:32

ties to Brooklyn like is is it just

19:34

rains. A lot of people name things Brooklyn

19:36

and I maybe they're me, maybe it's Kobe

19:38

like the name broken the like, the name

19:40

lead and they're like out them at Brooklyn.

19:43

And. That it's than that. Well, they heard it somewhere

19:45

in there. like at my here. By now, Oakland's

19:47

always like being gentrified. I mean on on the

19:49

whether you'd want that for your baby. and I

19:51

feel like. Ever since

19:53

I live there. And nineteen May three. Britain.

19:56

Has been. Has been

19:58

gentrifies every time you. Every

20:00

time you guys to live in Brooklyn and people

20:02

like oh yeah well now I'm in Park Slope.

20:04

That was to censor five but now I'm and

20:07

Green Fall as being centrify. Think that this, it's

20:09

a slowly over the years are taking over everything

20:11

and Brooklyn and I think you. I think if

20:13

you have a baby that doesn't come out the

20:15

way that you want use but you still have

20:17

hope for it you're like a million a my

20:19

baby Brooklyn because maybe of taxes are raised enough

20:21

that baby's gonna get a Starbucks or to. Yeah

20:25

the think it's like naming it's hard. Like

20:27

Brickhouse and like was a nice part of

20:29

Miami. I'm giving my smiled that or my

20:31

lizard. you know now I would name I'm

20:33

I would they my lizard Brickhouse But and

20:35

be more as an ode to eighty per

20:37

Tell and a new book New Bohemians with

20:39

Brickhouse Why would he do that? After the

20:41

season finale Us. Banned

20:43

from brewers. For

20:47

tell. Us for Tell as the

20:49

brick version of Raquel. Raquel

20:51

of The Bread version of

20:54

British Ssssss in Break in

20:56

the Brickhouse developer Bravia Patel

20:58

and for Ariana and. Brick

21:01

of all here are my thoughts

21:03

about the season finale of And

21:06

or Populus. I'm always saw triggered

21:08

by Apple, These and one name.

21:10

It's enjoying a sample of these

21:12

nine times I have some very

21:15

attacked I brought a therapist, science

21:17

has taught, Me about it. I

21:20

once went to Apple these. And

21:23

I didn't feel good as in the

21:25

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21:27

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21:29

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percent off your next order. So

23:45

now he goes. Oh crap So we

23:48

have. I'm Kristin and Luke and they

23:50

are feeding this little deco name Bronx

23:52

and Leukocyte on with. This is like

23:54

a fruit. makes you wanna try it.

23:57

Of course prisons are just recently teases

23:59

essentially. Really really got. like

24:01

I would say it's a little bit

24:03

better than like parking lot median flower

24:05

the maybe not as good as goat

24:07

cheese balls. Yeah christians that

24:10

person christened that personal taste anything when

24:12

you choose this melt that the city's

24:14

death threats of us are at why

24:16

would you trying to me to take

24:18

spoiled milk crates of the also liquid

24:20

seized. Y my bringing

24:22

up spoiled milk so much so weird is

24:24

my second time today. Answer: Where it's final:

24:26

Don't cry about at our tests against us

24:29

more spilt milk don't proper spoiled milk either.

24:31

Looks like you think if you spell it

24:33

don't cry but of spoilt you can. Other

24:35

moments where we want to let you have

24:37

a moment to cry over that north that

24:39

you thought you're gonna during today's. Ah

24:41

so ah I'm and sammy

24:43

other seasons house so they're

24:46

talking about this about to

24:48

dinner and had they're not

24:50

inviting Rabble rouser. Caress.

24:52

Dance rabble, rousing, pet food

24:55

tasting Mary post the shoulder

24:57

in the ear cock Ah

25:00

Christine! Yeah

25:02

and I'm Janet is ah hoping that her

25:04

death or kid does not play video games

25:06

growing up and just sick though he will.

25:08

And the significance of this board games which

25:10

was like a like okay I think I'm

25:13

like Janet old the more I like this

25:15

is putting a board game agenda and then

25:17

but then she's like the i'll be played

25:19

monopoly recently monopoly all the time and then

25:22

Jason's like know monopolies the worst game ever

25:24

Them I know Now I'm more protests and.

25:27

I was really invested in this little bit. A bouncer.

25:29

I'm not going allies. Was

25:32

yeah man I think wants her kids to

25:34

play board games. At first I thought she

25:36

was saying that to be snotty like a

25:38

video games are for stupid people on board

25:40

games are for smart people summer months. but

25:42

then I realize he's just like on what

25:44

my kid to hang out with me and

25:46

be interactive and an was like wow spoken

25:49

truly like someone who's never been around a

25:51

child before. Trust me in about five minutes

25:53

you're going to be thinking of the altar

25:55

of fucking Playstation. Okay, you're going to be

25:57

bow yeah I'm and kissing her ass for

25:59

saving. Half hours, a stupid fart,

26:01

conversations with a child, The

26:04

other animal crossing teams I will be

26:06

playing loud and proud and that household

26:09

soon enough now. So Janice, Talk about

26:11

Kristin. Ah, I'm and you

26:13

know she's not biting Chris into her

26:15

bochy party as says that Christian as

26:17

an Asian of chaos as been a

26:19

lot of stressful situations kristen for a

26:22

while now and because the dramas his

26:24

trading you know I've seen this before

26:26

and I have to put up a

26:28

boundary. But like you're not like the

26:30

drama they you're attached to is just

26:32

the stuff that you started that she

26:35

actually called out right like seat. Janet

26:37

was the one who said Michelle seems

26:39

to be a republican a seat republican

26:41

and arm. Is down with the ah.

26:43

Let's not forget the don't say gay

26:46

policy of Florida and Janet was a

26:48

wide who put that out there. and

26:50

Kristin. Christened. That even bring

26:52

it up a group setting. Let's not forget

26:54

it was Brittany who pull that out of

26:56

Kristin and then Janet got busy man because

26:58

he got put in the crossfire as and

27:00

that's what happens. entire thing in edo in

27:02

motion and then everything that happened. The Monterey

27:04

on. The. Had nothing to do with Janet

27:06

so I don't know why she is so been heard about that

27:09

and I will say bought her. In. Support of

27:11

Muscle Lolly this episode because Jam it

27:13

is trying to deflect if the patties

27:15

upon Flash Bang Bomb or when the

27:17

flashback of clasping Patty with home from

27:19

whenever from last week. that's what Jam

27:21

is doing is trying to distract people

27:23

so they don't get mad at her

27:26

for calling Michelle Lol Yeah, I'm being

27:28

anti gay men. Here's the thing that

27:30

I see growth forgetting a mess one

27:32

knows for getting this probably better to

27:34

sounds better to say when I'm ranting

27:36

and raving is that Michelle Lolly never

27:38

to have never did mind that. florida

27:41

gay law staff mc also have maximize

27:44

having an affair really messy kind of

27:46

house does but why are we asking

27:48

lolly the real questions what has it

27:50

all christians fault i me sitting over

27:52

there trying some fruit make some bronx

27:54

doesn't get sick and were calling her

27:56

a bad person okay what about the

27:59

people who are actually being accused of

28:01

things like the fucking around on your husband

28:03

for a year with Rob Reiner. Where's that?

28:05

Where's that accusation? Okay? And they're throwing diet

28:07

coke cans at your car at drag queens

28:09

heads. And while we're at

28:11

it, what the fuck is going on with Bravo

28:13

that we're not getting a reunion for this show?

28:15

Look at all these pressing questions that we have,

28:17

things that need to be set and confronted. Why

28:19

is this not happening? I mean, there have been

28:21

rumors going around that Andy is getting burnt out

28:23

by doing so many reunions, which I support, but

28:25

isn't there someone else who could do this reunion?

28:27

I mean, we'll do it. I don't care. I

28:29

don't care. Yeah, bring somebody else

28:31

on. It doesn't always have to be Andy every

28:33

single time, especially for the non-Housewives shows. Why don't

28:36

they just have Andy? Andy doesn't want all this

28:38

non-Housewives shit anyway, and you can tell, and he

28:40

looks exhausted, and he should just

28:43

not do those anyway. He should do all the Housewives,

28:45

and then they should bring in other people to do

28:47

the other shows. That's ridiculous. Yes. Rob Reiner would be

28:49

a great moderator. Rob Reiner would be great. We

28:52

should just have all the suspected people

28:54

that Michelle Lolly was fucking for a

28:56

year as a lineup. Quentin Tarantino, Rob

28:58

Reiner, and who was the other one? Michael

29:00

Bay. Michael Bay. Let's

29:03

have a string of directors lined up. Yeah.

29:05

And so just, I mean, Bravo, it's fine. Just

29:07

hire people who watch this show. It doesn't have

29:09

to be me and Ronnie. Have

29:11

Stosie do it. Bring Stosie back. Honestly, have Stosie. Just

29:13

be like, ew. Have Taylor's brother. Stosie

29:16

is just like, you're all disgusting.

29:18

So why

29:21

are you so brutal? And

29:24

just also attach on someone

29:26

who clearly does not watch it, like Karama or

29:28

something like that. Oh, he may watch it. I

29:30

don't know. Well, they did run into that problem

29:32

at BravoCon. They had a lot of it. Yeah,

29:34

that's what I mentioned. And I saw that one.

29:37

Well, I guess it's on TV. Everybody could see

29:39

it. But I was kind of surprised by that.

29:41

They just hired a bunch of B-list-ass people. I

29:43

mean, sorry, no offense to anyone specific. But they

29:46

had some really good people who were fans and

29:48

historians of the show like that. You had your

29:50

Danny Pellegrino's there, who really knew what they were

29:52

going on. Right, Brian. You know, they had they

29:55

did have some people like that. But then

29:57

they had a lot of people who have just like been

29:59

on entertainment tonight. before and so they're like, hey,

30:01

you should do a whole panel on this

30:03

show that you've never seen before. And then

30:05

they just ask stupid questions and no one's

30:08

interested and people leave halfway through the thing.

30:10

Like, guys, there's zillions of people who could do

30:13

this. Make an effort. But don't

30:15

take your best show of the year and

30:17

just not give them a reunion. That's nuts.

30:19

I know exactly. Like we did with Below Deck that time and

30:21

do our own. Yeah, we'll invite them

30:23

all on to Zoom and

30:25

we can have, we'll host a Valley reunion on

30:28

one of the properties. If anybody from the Valley

30:30

wants that, just all it takes is a DM.

30:32

We'll do that shit immediately. And also,

30:34

Cindy C. on Twitter, Cindy C. on the case

30:36

case, C.C. on the C.C., Cindy C.

30:38

on Twitter suggested that and I think we should run

30:41

with it. Yeah, so if anybody wants us to do

30:43

that, well, not the audience because I know you guys

30:45

will say yes, but who knows if anybody from the

30:47

show even knows who we are or would come on

30:49

if we ask them. But if you want to, give

30:52

us a DM, Jan and even you,

30:54

your basic hibachi. I like Jan. I want to

30:56

say something. I'm just mad at Jan. I'm

30:59

just mad at Janet today, but I just mean I,

31:01

I, I, I really like Janet. I

31:05

think Janet is so funny. I think that like, I

31:07

mean, ultimately she is doing

31:09

what you're saying she's doing. She's in the

31:11

flashback, Patti LuPone, like just, she, she wants

31:14

to deflect. She knows she kind of betrayed

31:16

Michelle's confidence. She's sort of like, you

31:18

know, talk shit about her friends in a way

31:20

that could damage her friend's reputation. And she's, and

31:23

so she has now kind of like been

31:25

happy to pile on to Kristen because it keeps

31:27

the shit off of her. But I love how

31:29

messy Janet is. They show a montage of her

31:31

in a little bit that shows her just like

31:33

asking questions of like gossiping everywhere.

31:35

I think that's great. I love

31:38

that. I think she's hilarious, but

31:40

she should invite Kristen because you're

31:44

on a show here. This is Kristen's

31:46

show. I'm sorry. Like you're new. Okay. You're new

31:48

here, ma'am. You need to invite Kristen on the show.

31:50

Kristen is the hilarious. I like everybody on the show

31:52

and it's not just because I invited them to

31:54

come do a reunion with us. I actually really do

31:57

like everybody on the show, but I agree. There's

31:59

no one. I hate you know you

32:01

can't just be like oh look everyone hate

32:04

Kristen here's a hibachi party I'm

32:08

onto you flashbang patty the pone and I'm not

32:11

going to take this crap from you cut the

32:13

crap lady also you're gonna need a babysitter and

32:15

who's better than Kristen hey

32:18

this is what gecko food tastes like Kristen

32:21

eating that gecko I feel like we have

32:23

actually really just breezed right past that and

32:25

I feel like it's important that we really

32:28

pay attention to the fact that Kristen ate

32:30

gecko food okay she actually well

32:32

but it was still like that gecko was eating a

32:35

meal like I don't like it when anyone unprovoked

32:37

puts a fork on into my food while I'm

32:39

eating at a restaurant and that gecko was at

32:41

a restaurant at that moment and Kristen was like

32:43

hold on let me get a little bite of

32:45

that it's like man you were at your own

32:47

table you have an entire fridge that of food

32:49

that you ordered you cannot come into gecko restaurant

32:51

and eat my appetizer but what

32:54

it's so even geckos think Kristen has

32:56

terrible manners I know that

32:58

gecko just disinvited Kristen from this hibachi party

33:00

not coming to my hibachi meal I'm

33:02

only throwing my fruit my fruit mixture

33:04

at Luke I'm just loving

33:07

Kristen entering her Shelly Duval era because she is

33:09

her hair is looking like Shelly Duval in the

33:11

shining she sort of has that she's got this

33:13

like extra kookiness Kristen is the sort of person

33:15

who you go to the farmer's market and she's

33:17

there in a little booth selling honey and a

33:19

straw you know or a plastic

33:21

stick and I guess I'm loving this for

33:24

her I'm loving how we we met her

33:26

as this like skinny

33:29

obnoxious quote unquote

33:31

model who was like basically you can't

33:33

sit with us and now here she

33:35

is like listening

33:37

to dreams by Fleetwood Mac

33:39

in the corner making t-shirts

33:41

eating gecko food trying

33:43

to have a baby kind of rumpled in

33:46

her own corner of the valley it's a great

33:48

like if Kristen was being played by Mo from

33:50

mad tv yeah Mo

33:53

uh what's your name mom yeah uh-huh

33:57

okay so Jason's like yeah

34:00

I mean Kristen really hasn't apologized in a way

34:02

that makes sense. No one owes you an

34:04

apology Jason and stop fucking enabling Janet

34:06

to be terrible. Okay, and she's like well, I

34:08

don't even know if she's capable Well,

34:11

what about you? Where's your apology miss

34:13

fucking drag queen drag queen

34:15

in a library? Accuser but

34:17

not stand behind her Yeah

34:20

behind her So

34:23

now Kristen goes and meets with Jasmine And

34:26

I can't host for you mean flick how I would oh

34:29

fuck off Jenny nobody knows it. All

34:31

right Let's

34:33

try to be biased and I'd be like I'm so sorry.

34:35

I made fun of your voice Brittany Or

34:40

I'm sorry that I just referred to you as skinny

34:42

in the past Kristen, what the hell was that? I

34:46

just got offended at that Well

34:48

meaning that was like five minutes later Well,

34:51

why are you offended by it because

34:53

I'm always worried about my weight and I'm projecting

34:55

my own insecurities on the I wasn't that I

34:58

wasn't I wasn't attaching any value to it I

35:00

was saying that like that was really cuz I

35:02

just threw away peanut M&Ms threw them away. I

35:06

Hate all of mine. Thank you. By the

35:08

way to the kind soul who gave us

35:12

She was so lovely with her. I was there man bag. I'm

35:14

an Amazon. Oh, I it was great I

35:17

got me that was like my dinner that night. Anyway, um What

35:19

I was going to say is it was more just like

35:22

she was at a place where like that was Like

35:25

what her life was all about right?

35:27

It was about like being you know

35:30

like a toothpick and fitting

35:33

into those flimsy dresses and being like this makes me

35:35

better than everyone because I Because I look like this

35:37

and I am like this and I can that I

35:39

can do this now I'm not attaching any value to

35:41

the fact that she was skinny or not skinny or

35:44

now she's okay Well, I'm counting calories. So everybody calm

35:46

down Okay. All

35:48

right. So step on your trigger Yeah,

35:51

really so then Kristin

35:53

is meeting with Jasmine and everyone on

35:55

the show cracks me up how they're

35:57

all blaming Kristin But actively gossiping on

35:59

camera The bells it's so

36:01

funny. I feel like for Kristen like you

36:03

pointed out earlier Chris is being pretty subtle

36:05

for Kristen You know so

36:08

Kristen meets with Jasmine at

36:10

a place called the vine is

36:12

vignette's vineos and

36:15

So she's like listen another one was

36:17

mad at me, but Jackson's one destroying

36:19

shit up Okay, like come on and

36:22

so Jasmine's like well I'm really glad we did this

36:24

because I don't know if you know I just like

36:26

I don't even know how to say this How

36:29

do I need to eat this first so then she

36:31

put some food in her mouth and just sits

36:33

there and choose it Kristen This

36:36

lunch is over as far as I'm concerned. I

36:39

have to sit here and pause while you chew bye. Goodbye

36:42

We're not friends anymore. I Got

36:45

it made me crib cheese, so she

36:47

basically is Saying

36:49

you know I talked with Jack's and

36:51

everything and you know he said that

36:53

you have some information about Michelle probably

36:55

Took another guy But

36:58

he was saying that etc etc and then

37:00

Jack's and Kristen's basically like oh Who's the

37:02

only person talking about it now? You know

37:04

who it is? It's Jack's and then Jasmine

37:09

and Janet Right forget.

37:11

This is now Jasmine's third

37:13

scene is it her third scene talking about

37:15

this on camera trying to get someone else to

37:17

spill the details Well,

37:19

here's the secret from what Michelle told me

37:22

She was texting with someone who

37:24

is not Jesse and she had I

37:26

guess an emotional bear with Rob Reiner

37:29

there I said it the truth self

37:31

set you free. Cuckoo. I fly on

37:33

the wind of liberation and truth I've

37:37

learned the wings of a death bar So

37:41

Jasmine's like yeah I mean it's just weird that he would

37:43

say that cuz like you were talking about Michelle having some

37:45

kind of interaction with a man Right and she's like well.

37:47

He's the one who said it a few weeks back So

37:50

I don't know why I'm the one getting a problem for

37:52

a cuckoo And then we see

37:54

a flashback to a month ago where they were

37:56

at lunch at the steakhouse where Jack's took the

37:58

vegetarian to the steak And

38:02

then we see a little bit extra because Jax is

38:04

like, you know, I'm just scared to bring this up

38:06

Because it's really not my place to do it. But

38:08

you know, it's regarding Michelle, you know, cuz there was

38:11

another guy She was like totally

38:13

fucking well you she fucked a football team. You're

38:15

not recording this, right? She goes Jax We're on

38:17

the TV show. Of course. They're recording it. So there's

38:19

a camera There's there are people

38:22

holding giant cameras in your face and you have

38:24

a mic pack on Oh, oh, well, you know

38:26

I don't want to get in trouble for seeing

38:28

this but like I just don't want to look

38:30

because Brittany told me it is Incompetence and like

38:32

my wife will kill me but like look it

38:35

could ruin a marriage I don't want this to

38:37

come out at all whatsoever. So basically

38:39

this is Brittany Brittany

38:41

gossip to Jax now

38:43

got Jax Gossiped

38:46

to Kristen Kristen Now

38:49

has let it out because they've been so mean

38:51

to her because they've accused her for doing that

38:53

All this has come from Brittany actually everything has

38:55

traced back to Brittany in many ways I already

38:57

is the one who cokes out of Kristen at

38:59

that game night said once again

39:01

and or girls night or whatever what

39:04

it is and now this whole thing

39:06

is because Brittany gossip to Jax about

39:08

this secret. Yep. That's

39:11

exactly right Brittany plants the bomb and then just

39:13

stands back Okay, so then Kristen's

39:23

like yeah even texted me right after lunch He

39:25

said and then we see the text message pop

39:27

up on the screen and it says Just

39:31

like a nose emoji and it says do not

39:33

repeat anything personal to Michelle You could destroy life

39:35

and I don't know if it's true and you

39:37

told my wife now she's pissed at me Like

39:39

why would you repeat something unless you know the

39:41

facts, please don't open your mouth about anything like

39:43

that Please it's not your place And

39:46

Kristen goes what are you talking about? I haven't even

39:48

talked to Brittany You're the one who said chill on

39:50

camera that never even heard of don't text me crazy

39:53

shit So

39:55

Then he goes home and he's like God damn it. Brittany.

40:00

It's making up. The Kristin is

40:02

A when they called rape Me

40:04

is his compulsive lying mates or

40:06

is really just grown into a

40:08

beautiful beautiful flowering plants. At this

40:10

point. I'm. In one could

40:12

even make him an argument that brittany

40:14

through the original Flash Bang Patty by

40:17

like. By. Saying

40:19

that ultra your the what is some sort

40:21

of so much sit around these I thought

40:23

about say a lot like and so it's

40:25

like likes you liked maybe maybe there's a

40:27

world and with Britain like Jack Twelve Britney

40:29

I told Chris and I told Chris isn't

40:32

she's mad as his maddox says mad casinos

40:34

Christmas does are babbling as as North resume

40:36

of says as he just. Does.

40:38

Is preemptive strike at girls night and

40:40

ten deaths of heat on christened. I

40:43

don't know that maybe to calculated for

40:45

printing. I don't

40:47

know. I mean I think seeking calculate per

40:49

month numbers but you know things like this.

40:52

I think season very strategic him what he

40:54

tells Jacks and Sensex out with him to

40:56

the world's email biggest that episode where they

40:58

were fighting am I think it was at

41:01

the Capri episode where they were fighting am

41:03

an easy jax go in and he's telling

41:05

the of people inside they have to go

41:07

have the five outside the two grandsons get

41:10

up and work is out in Britain is

41:12

out there telling the other group still need

41:14

to get out there were two thousand be

41:16

talked. About and they're both producing. They're both acting

41:19

like producers throw in the real, just trying to

41:21

get everybody to suits. I think those two are

41:23

pretty. Producing. Pretty well.

41:25

you know the up to Christen says that

41:27

she went and like Sigma of course I

41:29

want to Britney about this now suffering up

41:31

like to know something to use holds rock

41:34

or whatever and and she said it was

41:36

like an actor like a celebrity crushes aspirin

41:38

it because you know that. Ah so. So

41:41

I guess Christen. slight.

41:44

National they don't like that was

41:46

my saves things. He does like

41:48

a really Aruba Iger has like

41:50

very very deeply nodding with her

41:52

shoulder pumping. Gas doesn't like.

41:54

oh now and actors involved. Oh lord,

41:56

You know I want to believe you.

41:58

I don't know. For all this drama

42:01

that we've had in the past and

42:03

you said there's or didn't say this,

42:05

interesting guests. I don't know what to

42:07

believe. The Crystals reaction to some of

42:09

his some have said while running, I

42:11

really don't know whether I believe you

42:13

are my i want you back God

42:15

after everything you've done. I be

42:17

fuck you I had to see how

42:19

what you eat a cracker but christians,

42:21

nazis if like me to up My

42:24

guess is just don't know. I

42:26

don't be truth or not, Pose

42:29

off. Off

42:31

Mary poses Oh

42:34

oh oh how

42:36

nice sense. Of

42:38

leader gets here for herself in the Sam's.

42:47

Hi there it's Julia Louis Dreyfus. You may

42:49

know me from my podcast called Miles is

42:52

a Me where I toss older women and

42:54

what their with them for their own minds

42:56

it's about I play the mean how many

42:59

people told me I was Some made them

43:01

look forward to getting older which is why

43:03

I'm here to talk about Season two of

43:05

The Shell Sally Field Billie Jean. The mean

43:08

that really turns out for an A partner.

43:10

Funny way to the new All Hail Old

43:12

Women. Why does the new Season two is

43:14

out now? From Lemonade, A Media. So.

43:20

Ah, of rather, I'm Laggard Mountains

43:22

and if it ever will, Not

43:30

on our toes

43:32

are so ah

43:34

how does ah

43:36

so ah Jazz?

43:38

Ah call call

43:40

call call. Call,

43:43

Call. Goes

43:47

off. Math

43:50

proposal post ah source with no

43:52

scruples I was ah the business

43:54

with this is ah as a

43:56

whole thing where she like all

43:58

my god I don't know who

44:01

to believe. What do I feel

44:03

like that is a therapist? That's

44:05

because I don't fully understand jasmine

44:07

role on the show some a

44:09

certain size or use here but

44:12

I'm I'm. I'm on

44:14

what you want to say that because I feel so

44:16

bad for the single people cause a single people as

44:18

we see later in the episode or so other it

44:20

on this shows I don't want to do that to

44:22

them but I'm. Yeah. I didn't get

44:24

hurt them the luxury of sitting at home

44:26

and talking their significant others about like the

44:28

twenty thousand Fabius not even single mile away.

44:30

she's that is a single. She wasn't really

44:33

Wednesday so nothing really assess me because I

44:35

don't want babies. my says only focused on

44:37

babies. you know ya sister live on the

44:39

other side the hell his our friend. So

44:41

ah now it's time for their bochy night.

44:43

So Jackson Briny arrive first and the jackals

44:45

like instantly jealous of the flowers because you

44:47

know he is the suburban guy who is

44:49

like keeping up with the joneses is a

44:51

mess up their flowers as he was flowers.

44:53

Life still vivid one of them because I have

44:55

a guy. That's

44:59

what I'm telling you. We're a landscaper guy.

45:01

x. Music. Yeah, I know,

45:03

I know. we need. Really. We need

45:05

a car. Now we need a Car

45:07

Max and I'm. Are

45:09

note taker added this part which I

45:11

think it's true if their backyard all

45:13

plastic grass is set at a faster

45:15

at her a mouth about gives access

45:17

or mallinger isn't jacko as mowing the

45:20

lawn. Oh expire wouldn't I wouldn't

45:22

put a pencil him only lot lower lot I

45:24

know he leave for his though he's a big

45:26

we've flown I am a naval riding. With.

45:28

Us the front of the frontline yarn me

45:31

I'll actually now I don't know maybe to

45:33

so good at mowing days. backyard looks fake.

45:37

The wanted he can't do is grow

45:40

flower. I mean, isn't that the metaphor?

45:42

So they show up and I'm. They

45:45

are tight and like there's some

45:47

talk about oh my god, you're

45:49

wearing skinny jeans other and Seven

45:51

shows up slow motion to hibachi

45:53

night in the backyard in the

45:55

valley and we see some people.

45:57

Simon and George comes through. I'm

45:59

actually. Facebook friends with Simon which is funny but

46:01

I've never met some analyze that funny how that happens.

46:04

advanced. People to

46:06

your friends with. For ten years we've been

46:08

friends for ten years on Facebook. Never

46:10

met in real life. Mile. I feel

46:12

like this is me meeting him. Cinema.

46:14

Bravo! Like how great nice to meet you

46:16

in person. So.

46:21

Nothing him out on the people I'm on Facebook is

46:23

why did you take me down there? I don't have

46:25

to go there. Do not worry about it. I was

46:27

just a young actually. these for neighbors. I

46:30

feel like you're like you know what? I'm gonna

46:32

save maybe five percent and move to the valley

46:34

instead of wherever over the hill on women to

46:36

save like a minimal amount of money and just

46:38

make the move. How back to the be Everyone

46:40

was in the valley now and then he moved

46:43

to the valley in a pizza shrimp his your

46:45

window and some of like this up as a

46:47

night. Party My

46:49

Only in this fucking valley only

46:51

year. So someone

46:54

asked, has anyone heard or George

46:56

George? ah ask. Has anyone heard

46:58

from Kristen on data is like

47:00

ah yeah She kind of had

47:02

a blow up at Jack's as

47:04

dinner after has events. After.

47:06

We all were really me into are so

47:08

I didn't bite her hair. Yeah

47:11

I'm just is like I'm able to

47:13

notice Sovereign move Christian from the group

47:15

chat been noticed that one on like

47:18

now and like Jesse jumping and on

47:20

the mean messy stay over there you

47:22

too short to be me know that

47:24

Jesse who is may not Danny just

47:26

has already made with Ceci. Out

47:29

as his name of the his head vampire,

47:31

he's already a deck I target conditions very

47:33

odd brand for him though or Danny. Still

47:35

nice even though he has black pools of

47:37

of an abyss behind his eyes. Sorry cause

47:39

you to sort to be mean but the

47:41

same goes for you Jesse. So

47:45

I'm. Gonna. Be like Jesse

47:48

is now. let's just see for some over such a

47:50

big dent in his hair as well. He's very mean.

47:52

Like. And his meme? Meme? Yeah. I'm.

47:55

In his associates deck, he's probably the one

47:57

hundred like email. No I don't like. That

48:00

all this is awful, He would make me

48:02

feel insecure and realize that he would make

48:04

me feel insecure. I'll always when you're always

48:06

taller. Listen, you know what? straight? I feel

48:08

it. Gay guys By the way, I can.

48:11

I've never known being super Now see that

48:13

people haven't heard me before or even if

48:15

you have. but. At

48:17

the reason I make fun of this is

48:19

because I don't have a sort saying I

48:21

think it's hilarious it before so weird about heights

48:23

and I feel like women are was really bad

48:26

about i am I feel also like gay

48:28

men are really really bad of I mean

48:30

that. Really mean about hi? I'm not,

48:32

I think sort mrs. so hot. I think it's

48:34

like the weirdest. Thing. To

48:36

dislike somebody over. But I know that straight

48:38

guys have a huge thing about it because women

48:40

have always tortured them about and I'm like

48:42

I want a tian you the six but for

48:45

matter I need a solid the me or

48:47

whatever and so I know it really bothers. The.

48:49

Guy's a lot you know and so you always win

48:52

with a straight guy. That sort of the new cause

48:54

you know they're so insecure about it. I could just

48:56

like looked down and relax. Oh my gosh, your hair

48:58

looks so nice from up here and I'll set him

49:01

up your always when. Yeah. Well.

49:03

Whole thing about that. Next I

49:06

encountered Jesse. Lolly. save. Your

49:09

words have no power over me because you're

49:11

sensitive nature so and I just don't do

49:13

a while you're sitting down. Just

49:16

be aware that you're only powerful when you're

49:18

standing up. Your words are both our over

49:20

X. I literally can't hear them down there

49:22

there for you or. Else

49:24

up when you say that. Little. Better! Jesse

49:26

has from of Kristen from the group chat and

49:29

is like by a proud and jags like yeah

49:31

I mean she sent me a novel like you

49:33

know how my bag and like you said we

49:35

were close and you never stick up for me

49:37

and then delicacy blocker. Yeah. Lots

49:40

on everything. Yeah, yes for by

49:42

the way, Christians right? Tax helped

49:44

start all the said against Kristin.

49:46

I mean he's such an ass

49:48

off. like let's start a show

49:50

together Kristin so I can ruin

49:52

your life again. You know? Yeah,

49:54

totally so everyone says down there.

49:56

like doing saki shots and everything

49:58

and then Bernie's I Hulu. Like

50:02

you feel like that. It's like when the

50:04

it's like when the we Are and like

50:06

and the haunted mansion and the ride suddenly

50:08

breaks. You know and need to

50:10

sit there staring at which crystal ball for

50:12

ten minutes while they success. That's what happened

50:14

and have some that fucking ride don't like

50:17

I'm over there are saw that personally minimums

50:19

as other victim as a was a projection

50:21

of i haven't a crystal ball was over

50:23

and over I'd like new all her lines

50:25

as likes from here to vod bother well

50:28

you go my soul will always be year

50:30

ago my god this lady and but that's

50:32

what you see like you just sort of

50:34

see the haunted mansion and christians have deserved

50:37

break his fellow move who yeah Jack until.

50:39

I also survived for some said to

50:41

have to essence of Britain is at

50:43

so Christians had is not that Griffin

50:45

said like the cars right I think

50:47

that Sovereign a factory thought we middle

50:49

left or right there's was a totally

50:51

unable to goes wild ride away our

50:53

some of those because right I just

50:55

we're my business guy. different things because

50:57

I I do feel like and Christmas

50:59

some hunted. Have some haunted mansion

51:01

energy because of it as her soul deny

51:03

you sit on those things that are always

51:06

turning in different directions and moves like a

51:08

feel for some toxic that like wow was

51:10

northern sizes and. See

51:13

the one who said it but I

51:15

think Sierra failed and you're down the

51:17

so. I feel like assists watching Kristen

51:20

have a normal paragraphs as he sees

51:22

as a soft case space mountain. It's

51:24

like. When. She's walking around. it's like

51:26

they're actively space mountain carts going around inside

51:29

her body would slices was her to dirty

51:31

because it's like she's like. Oh.

51:33

It like that every time the cart goes up

51:35

to like her shoulder her sort of to supply

51:37

capacity. now I am I go down to like

51:40

her polite moves or bets wix lazzara Another arrived

51:42

on on wo smith mountains. And

51:44

Wenzhou ah that's what's wrong with

51:46

you for it. Me: I just

51:48

saw I just saw a toilet

51:50

paper ghost come out of your

51:52

mouth and she thinks I am

51:54

just make. Stuff drug

51:57

tests, so then i mean my

52:00

on the other side of the table, Michelle and

52:02

Jesse. Michelle's

52:04

like, can you see my teeth? And he goes, what?

52:06

Of course I can fucking see your teeth. Teeth,

52:09

which is eating things. What do you think you

52:11

were eating with? Gums? I

52:13

fucking hate it. Do I have anything

52:16

in my teeth? No, no

52:18

you don't. Well, do you

52:20

think I'm just like showing you my teeth for

52:22

the fun of it? No.

52:25

He's like, no. So anyway, everyone,

52:28

I have a question. This

52:30

is surely gonna get my wife to stay

52:32

with me. Okay, everyone. Has

52:35

anyone heard the phrase of butt hurt? Cause

52:38

that's like the dump, not you Zach. Everyone

52:40

else. Anybody? And

52:43

they're like, yeah, it's a

52:45

word. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah,

52:47

we see a flashback to Michelle saying it

52:49

and he was like, oh my

52:51

goodness. He's like, I didn't know your

52:53

feelings were in your butt. So

52:57

I guess this is what happens, unfortunately.

53:00

You sort of get to a certain age and

53:03

suddenly you're shocked by slang everywhere. So

53:06

Danny is like, yeah, that's why I

53:09

say, like butt hurt,

53:11

that's why I say, I only go on

53:13

the first knuckle. Know what I mean? Oh,

53:15

the first knuckle. 30

53:17

knuckles under two inches, that's what I

53:19

say. And

53:22

Jesse's like, well, I guess we know how you made three kids

53:25

in two years. I

53:27

don't think that's how babies work, but okay.

53:29

And Danny's like, well, you know, it's real.

53:33

I don't know. I don't want to talk about

53:35

fingers and butts cause then I start picturing everybody

53:37

with the finger in their butt. I don't want

53:39

to think about it. So Michelle's like, yeah, he's

53:41

always trying to correct me, but it is a

53:43

word. And Janet's like, I wish you'd let me

53:45

get a knuckle in. God,

53:47

I'm glad Chris is not here so I could get that

53:49

line out. So Brittany

53:51

goes inside and she sits on the sofa in

53:53

sort of a strange position. And

53:55

she's sitting there. And so Jack's like, you

53:58

all right? No, I don't feel good. It's

54:00

like, well, what made you sick? I

54:02

think taking that chanisake, I don't know,

54:04

I'm in a lot of pain. I got

54:06

sake, illness. Your stomach pain? Yeah,

54:08

it's like I can't even smell the smell of

54:10

the hibachi because it makes my smell make my

54:12

stomach hurt from the sake, you know? It was

54:15

making me nauseous. It's

54:17

like, I gotta go home, James. It's

54:19

like, do you want me to come home with you?

54:21

It's like, no, you gotta stay here. I'm gonna go

54:23

home. It's like, so I just called you an Uber.

54:25

It's like, I just feel nauseous, you know, I'm just

54:27

dying. I'm dying. It's drinking. I told

54:29

you. I told you. Well,

54:31

Jack, Jack on his

54:34

fifth nose coming on national TV to

54:36

convince the world that Britney's a

54:38

raging alcoholic. She's such an

54:40

asshole. Yeah, she's like, I had

54:43

one sake shot. Like, it was my first drink

54:45

of the freaking night. Like him sappy at me.

54:47

It's like so hard to be constantly someone punching

54:49

back. It's like, nah, bye, yay, yay. And

54:51

so Jack's like, just go, Britney, just go. Okay.

54:55

So, hey, everyone. Yeah, Britney had to go. She's

54:57

not doing well. I gave her $5 and

55:00

said, make your way home to it. We'll see how she

55:02

does. And Janet's like, yeah,

55:04

well, she must really not feel good

55:07

because Britney literally loves game

55:09

night. She wouldn't miss it unless her pain

55:11

was it in eight or above. Janet,

55:14

you're really stepping on my last nerve

55:16

today. I don't like when friends use

55:18

terminology like that. I don't feel

55:20

good. On a scale of one to

55:23

10. How

55:25

about four martinis? Okay. How many I

55:27

need? What are you fucking scaling me?

55:29

I'm not the doctor. Fuck out of

55:31

here, Janet. You not fighter hibachi basic.

55:34

Yeah. Well, don't worry. She has some backup because

55:36

when Janet says, you know, Britney wouldn't miss the

55:38

game night unless it was an eight above. In

55:40

case you were doubting that Zach is like, no,

55:43

she literally loves game nights

55:45

more than anything. More than

55:47

anything. Jack's

55:50

is like, if you know the game that's going

55:52

to make you sick, don't drink it. You know,

55:54

she knew she was going in. This could jeopardize

55:56

her wellbeing, but she did it anyway. This has

55:58

been happening for 10 years. with her 10

56:01

years being married to an alcoholic. Hello, my

56:03

name is Britney. Jesus Christ, she's got enough

56:05

chips. You'd think she could be sober for

56:07

one minute. Jack's saying

56:09

if you know something is going to make you sick,

56:11

don't drink it. Well, if people thought that advice, he

56:14

would never have a love life. So

56:16

everybody goes over to the patio

56:18

area and now it's time to

56:20

play Drag Your Heart. It's basically

56:23

a newlywed game and so

56:25

Jared comes out and he's like, he's in

56:27

drag and they're going to

56:30

do this whole trivia game thing.

56:32

And Michelle, Michelle's Holly goes, I

56:34

hate games. There's been a lot of talk about

56:36

games where people stand on them already in this

56:38

episode. But of course, fucking Michelle hates games. Of

56:41

course, she is joyless and

56:43

hates, who hates games?

56:45

It's in the name. Literally hate these games on

56:48

this show. We hate, I know, but I can't

56:50

believe we're so pro these games. All this. You

56:52

really don't know. I'm pro games

56:54

in life. I hate games on this show,

56:56

but I'm pro. She just hates games in

56:58

general. She just hates joy. She just wants

57:00

to go. She's a joy hater. She is

57:02

a joy. She is a joy hater. She

57:05

just, which is funny that she's boinking Rob

57:07

Reiner because he's like a comedy director mostly.

57:11

Maybe she's mostly into like the army ones

57:14

he did. She

57:17

likes a few good men. Yeah. She thought it was a

57:19

dating app. Honestly,

57:23

after Jesse, I just want a few good men. That's it.

57:27

Okay. So, um, Zach is

57:29

going to be Jax's couple

57:31

because Brittany's gone. So

57:33

let's just watch Jax be right back for

57:35

eating too much now. Cause he's Brittany's stand-in.

57:38

Um, so Zach's like, y'all me butts for

57:40

bright night. I'm Brittany now. Look at me

57:42

having a shot of sauce alcoholic. So,

57:49

um, uh, so

57:51

the first question is like, which partner is

57:53

a better catch? So Jesse's like, well, I'm

57:55

in couples therapy right now. So I have

57:57

to say Michelle. And she's like, well, And

58:00

that I think that's why you have

58:02

a life coach because of that response

58:07

So then Where was your

58:09

second date? They're all answering these questions. Of

58:12

course, Jesse's like Michelle's bed, which

58:14

is really romantic and kind Don't

58:18

you think that Michelle and Jesse are still kind of a

58:20

cute couple even though they're about to get divorced I'm

58:24

kind of jealous of their chemistry I think they still have

58:26

cute chemistry like how she's like do I have stuff on

58:28

my teeth and he's like gross they

58:31

have like chemistry the way pneumonia and Pneumonia

58:34

and bleach have the chemistry like yeah, there's chemical

58:36

reactions and we're all gonna die from it I

58:40

don't know. I'm thinking that so they're playing this

58:42

game. I can't give a game any mind Does

58:44

anything important happen in this game? No Nothing

58:47

really happens. How long can you laugh? How can

58:50

you last? Couple of

58:52

games. They're all having you know,

58:54

like Nia gets embarrassed by some things like and

58:56

yeah and They're

59:01

freaky. Yeah Nia and

59:03

Daniel get freaky like that one have

59:05

threesomes with everybody and stuff like that so

59:08

then Because I'm very

59:10

long time Yeah, this

59:13

keeps going so let's

59:15

say To everyone picks

59:17

everyone wants to bang Jasmine and her threesome, which

59:19

is cute and then Let's

59:22

see. I'm trying. There's a lot of game. Let's just go

59:24

to the gym Carmen's house So

59:27

it was a everyone had a great time and

59:30

Kristen wasn't there and they all ate hibachi

59:32

and it was wonderful so now we go to Kristen's

59:34

friends Cameron's house and Kristen

59:38

is preparing for a James May

59:40

relaunch James May the t-shirt line

59:43

that took America by storm

59:46

Back at some point in life and 2018

59:48

perhaps so Chris

59:51

I always I would have liked a different business

59:53

from Kristen I feel like James May didn't really

59:55

work and I feel like people can all really

59:57

only buy so many t-shirts spoken to

59:59

someone who sells This is something that I've

1:00:01

learned and I think that Kristen should have

1:00:03

learned this as well I would like maybe

1:00:05

like I don't know something modern like an

1:00:08

NFT with a saying on it or how

1:00:10

about an NFT t-shirts How about an NFT?

1:00:14

TEE Buy

1:00:16

my NFT. I'm sure you

1:00:18

wear but it's virtual. Yeah, it's one of

1:00:20

you own it There's

1:00:23

only like 20 of these

1:00:25

digital t-shirts. Yeah, you're welcome

1:00:27

Kristen. You're welcome Because

1:00:30

then also people all over the country would buy

1:00:32

it and not just be stuck. I don't know

1:00:34

anyway, so Zach's like, oh my god This

1:00:37

James May is her baby. She's worked

1:00:39

so hard on those smells Do

1:00:46

you know I'm trying to get pregnant after he sits

1:00:48

my baby, okay for now It's her baby for now

1:00:51

I started literally carrying around a Hanes with a

1:00:53

rubber band around a scrunch and she was like

1:00:55

calling it her baby She was trying to feed

1:00:58

it gecko food. I was like cool son. It's

1:01:00

not for babies I've

1:01:03

literally put this business down in front of

1:01:05

Nick Jr. Cuz it's such her baby right

1:01:07

now so yeah,

1:01:10

so Yeah,

1:01:13

this is poor business. So we

1:01:15

see flashbacks of People

1:01:18

making fun of it. Okay, Katie Katie going

1:01:20

I mean I can go on Pinterest and

1:01:22

like take my dad and take my friends

1:01:24

clothes and slap them on a t-shirt Make

1:01:27

some money to like come on. She said

1:01:29

my friends quotes like she's like She's

1:01:33

just selling people's other people's quotes on her

1:01:35

t-shirt, which would have been a better death

1:01:37

had Katie not been like Trying

1:01:40

to sell a makeup blog where she's like guess

1:01:43

what I do in the morning. I

1:01:45

put on lipstick You

1:01:48

should try it at least

1:01:50

Kristen has more T-shirts

1:01:52

to show than kitty has sandwiches. I will

1:01:54

say I like this in the past that's

1:01:56

open that's opening this month You're not allowed

1:01:59

to say that That joke is

1:02:01

already allowed to be old by the time this

1:02:03

is released. Just kidding. It's tomorrow. I

1:02:05

wonder what something about her is opening. I want to go. Okay,

1:02:08

I revise it. How

1:02:12

many t-shirts does Kristen have?

1:02:14

She has more t-shirts than

1:02:16

Katie has puckers and pouts.

1:02:18

Where's that? Now you're

1:02:20

doing Ariana's second job of stand-up comedy, which

1:02:23

you take very seriously. Except I messed

1:02:25

it up. I tried to match games, but I came

1:02:27

in on the audience response instead of giving... You

1:02:29

know, I didn't do the call and response properly.

1:02:33

Kristen has so many t-shirts. How

1:02:35

many? Three. Knock,

1:02:38

knock. Who's there? C'mon! Okay,

1:02:42

so then we see

1:02:44

Katie. Oh yeah, we see Katie. So then Zach's

1:02:46

like, yeah, so those things are famous. I'm trying

1:02:48

to be there for her more than normal. Oh,

1:02:51

here's what I read. Everybody's

1:02:53

been dying. What's Ronnie reading right now? I'm

1:02:56

already laughing because I know this is going to be ridiculous

1:02:58

in the best way. Not

1:03:00

shady ridiculous. I read something talking about... You

1:03:02

know how earlier I was like, Jackson, Kristen

1:03:04

are the one who pitched this show. I

1:03:06

got that from some article talking about how

1:03:08

Jackson, Kristen, pitched this show. And they've been

1:03:10

trying to get it on forever. And

1:03:16

the original idea for it was that

1:03:19

Kristen was going to be trying to

1:03:21

have a baby with her best gay

1:03:23

friend, Zuckery. But then Luke

1:03:25

came in the picture, so they changed

1:03:28

it around and brought Jasmine on to

1:03:30

make friends with Zach. And

1:03:32

so Zach has already been kind of dumped

1:03:34

from main storylines on this show. They're really

1:03:37

doing Zach dirty. Yeah, now,

1:03:39

yeah, poor Zach. So

1:03:42

they're setting up this t-shirt event and

1:03:44

Zach is like, this is honestly the

1:03:46

perfect venue. A big,

1:03:48

breezy, dusty backyard on a

1:03:50

cliff side looking over Universal

1:03:52

Studios. I die. I die.

1:03:56

This backyard is mother. I'm

1:03:58

literally done. So

1:04:00

Kristen's like, oh, this is where I'm having a

1:04:02

hard time as far as the guzzlers. So like,

1:04:04

I know you guys have like a dinner at

1:04:06

Janet's. Yes, Kristen, everyone's dying to come to your

1:04:08

t-shirt relaunch in your friend's backyard. But go, go

1:04:10

on. Well, I would like to only go. I'm

1:04:13

like, where was the invite for Walker Province? So,

1:04:17

yeah, so then Kristen's

1:04:19

like, not inviting me to this dinner.

1:04:21

It just feels like Janet's making a statement

1:04:24

and not like a statement tea. OK, it's

1:04:26

actually like a third grader. And I want

1:04:28

you to know you're not invited. OK,

1:04:30

great. Thanks. Cuz ah. T-t-t.

1:04:34

But in Malibu, the girls night, like Janet and I were

1:04:36

great. So I don't even understand what's going on. There

1:04:39

we go. Because Janet will barely tolerate her

1:04:41

in Malibu. Yeah, exactly. But wasn't that before

1:04:43

the Montreal and Kristen? She got mad at

1:04:45

you at the Montreal. So why would you

1:04:47

have problems before the Montreal and Kristen? I'm

1:04:49

not having your baby if you keep talking

1:04:52

like those. You

1:04:54

didn't directly scream at John. But it's

1:04:56

like another moment of you making a

1:04:58

decision to kind of, you know, ruin

1:05:01

the night sort of like you ruined my storyline

1:05:03

on this show. Well, like putting a sour taste

1:05:06

at the very end, you know, things like that.

1:05:09

I'm sorry, I just couldn't I just couldn't

1:05:11

have a baby with that much hair, even

1:05:13

for a storyline. Sorry. So,

1:05:16

Chris, I was like, what does Janet have to do with

1:05:18

literally anything? And I was like, thank you for speaking for

1:05:21

America on that one. Because what the fuck,

1:05:23

Janet? Yeah, I don't

1:05:25

understand what it just really sucks.

1:05:28

It really sucks for Kristen because

1:05:30

I feel like people blame

1:05:32

her for drama. But like, John,

1:05:34

it's like a shit story. And

1:05:37

then we see a flashback of Janet being like, so I heard

1:05:39

there's gossip. They tell me everything. I heard that Jackson something to

1:05:41

Brittany, but I don't know what it is. Can you tell me

1:05:43

what it is? Hey, I heard there's a story about something with

1:05:45

Kristen. I don't know. Did you tell you something? Can I hear

1:05:47

about it? Thanks. Yeah. And

1:05:50

he's like, you know what? Janet is just

1:05:52

getting a pass this summer because she's pregnant

1:05:54

and people get pregnant. People pass. It's

1:05:57

like crazy. All you have to do is get mock up. You

1:05:59

can get away with it. with anything. Congrats

1:06:01

on fucking Leishan, alright?

1:06:04

I think extending the invitation to Janet and

1:06:06

Michelle to be like, I know you probably

1:06:08

need more time, but like, I just want

1:06:11

to let you know this is like where

1:06:13

I'm at. Like, just be like heartfelt about

1:06:15

it because like, I don't think there's any

1:06:17

reason to create any more drama or like,

1:06:19

not include people, so like, just like, do

1:06:21

it. So now

1:06:24

we go to Jesse and Michelle's house and

1:06:26

Jesse is packing for his spiritual retreat. I

1:06:28

have something to say about Jesse. If your man

1:06:30

is going to be an asshole to you and

1:06:33

then his response to working on that is to

1:06:35

go on a weekend where he can do drugs

1:06:37

with other dudes, dump him now. That is not

1:06:39

a real fucking effort, okay? But

1:06:42

I will say the first redeeming quality of

1:06:44

Jesse of Tino season is that he is

1:06:46

an excellent folder of clothes. He had folded

1:06:48

like three little shirts to put into his

1:06:50

overnight bag and it was

1:06:52

like I was staring at a display at

1:06:54

Gap, like, which is probably where he worked

1:06:57

at some point because those shirts were folded

1:06:59

immaculately. I have been trying to get my

1:07:01

shirt folding game down, you know,

1:07:03

in anticipation of this European trip. I'm trying to

1:07:05

pack lean and lean and get everything nice and,

1:07:08

you know, efficient and

1:07:10

like, I swear to God, I

1:07:13

was in awe of the way he folded those shirts. He

1:07:16

folds like a crazy person, like

1:07:18

a psychopath. I feel like a sort of

1:07:20

person American. Yeah, I

1:07:24

feel like American psycho. Yeah,

1:07:28

you know, fires to this kind of this level

1:07:30

of holding people have their

1:07:33

their scout, their scallops, their skills, their skills,

1:07:35

their talents, their talents. I can't wait to

1:07:37

see your packing cubes. I'm so excited. Are

1:07:39

you bringing one of those vacuum things that

1:07:41

you vacuum the key? I would like out

1:07:43

the air. I would love to,

1:07:45

but my vacuum doesn't have a hose attachment.

1:07:48

So it's gonna be the packing cubes, which

1:07:50

is funny because packing cubes are not actually

1:07:52

cubes. So I think they should have like

1:07:54

renamed them to something more appropriate or say,

1:07:57

well, what happened when you put everything in it is just everything sort of looks

1:07:59

like a chicken. You know, it's like

1:08:01

a rounded, like a rounded square, but not

1:08:03

a cube. It's like a rounded square. It's just, you

1:08:06

think with a cube, it's going to be like an

1:08:08

actual cube, but it's not. So like, I'm resentful.

1:08:12

Okay. So Michelle comes

1:08:14

to check on him and he's

1:08:16

like, yeah, I'm going on this

1:08:19

retreat. You know, for

1:08:21

all I know, it could be a huge orgy, you know?

1:08:24

And so Michelle's like, well, what do you

1:08:26

want to get out of the retreat? She's

1:08:29

like, uh, I mean, shrooms? Basically.

1:08:33

What do you know? For violence? How about maybe I'll be

1:08:35

around some men that know how to fold? It'd

1:08:37

be nice. Just want to be in a

1:08:40

space where the bucket list isn't playing on our TV

1:08:42

all the time. So

1:08:44

he basically says

1:08:46

that, like, this is like, you know, you know how

1:08:48

it's like the Jesse show and everything. I just want

1:08:51

to work on this and I just want to like

1:08:53

enter a room without an ego and just have people

1:08:55

naturally like be drawn to me and everything. Yeah.

1:08:58

Well, that's what I was going to say to you. Like, you

1:09:00

know, behind all that, you're like a

1:09:02

good person at heart, but you're your own obstacle,

1:09:04

you know, and you keep running into that obstacle,

1:09:06

which is why I think you have a dent

1:09:08

in your hair. He

1:09:10

said, yeah, man, well, I'm going to do this for

1:09:12

us. I'm going to do whatever it takes. And he's doing

1:09:15

this whole thing about like, I've got it. It feels like

1:09:17

he's doing it not for her. He's doing it because he

1:09:19

wants to like win. He wants to

1:09:21

be like, no, I beat the situation. Yeah. So

1:09:23

he's like, well, I hope that you can change.

1:09:26

He's like change what? She goes, your

1:09:29

personality. Too

1:09:35

late, too little, too late. This is a

1:09:37

too little, too late retreat. So

1:09:40

he says this is a Hail Mary

1:09:42

for the marriage and he's basically fucked.

1:09:44

We all know that goose is cooked.

1:09:46

So the producer asks Michelle, like, what

1:09:48

do you think of this spiritual journey?

1:09:50

And she's like, well, I think it's

1:09:52

partly bullshit, but like you don't change

1:09:54

overnight. It takes like a lot of

1:09:56

work to process change. Yeah,

1:10:00

so Jesse's

1:10:03

like alright. Well, let's all get high for a night.

1:10:05

So bye So then

1:10:07

meanwhile now Nia's gonna host a self-defense lesson at

1:10:09

the Roosevelt. She's dragging everyone out of the valley,

1:10:12

which is shocking and So

1:10:14

Jasmine and Brittany are driving everything and bring his

1:10:16

like I've been up since 5. Oh, yeah Yeah,

1:10:18

yeah, yeah, cruise woke up at 5, you know

1:10:20

He had breakfast, you know, like the window and

1:10:22

stuff and they're like he would not go back

1:10:24

down to sleep Then

1:10:27

we went to the bar that he fell asleep at

1:10:29

the 8-minute car ride from the bar And

1:10:32

so they talk about the bar and we only got

1:10:36

Up that seven weeks Really

1:10:39

moving fast. So well, Jackson

1:10:41

wants to make money right away, but I wanted

1:10:43

to be right I mean, thankfully they have me

1:10:45

now they have chairs. Oh Gosh

1:10:49

we're doing self-defense class. I hope my boobs stay

1:10:51

in my top Oh

1:10:57

Hi, have you talked to Kristen Redall

1:10:59

recently and Jasmine's like, yeah, I saw

1:11:01

her and like this is where it gets twisted She's

1:11:04

saying that like you knew about the

1:11:06

whole Michelle's maybe texting is someone situation.

1:11:08

It brings like I want to

1:11:11

throw my name I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:11:13

Now notice she doesn't say I didn't know she says

1:11:15

why are you dragging me into this? Just

1:11:17

I mean, I'm not gonna go round and talk about

1:11:19

about any of it anybody You know have nothing to

1:11:21

do with her dump the fire that she started it

1:11:24

It's like no your husband's are actually you started the

1:11:26

dump survivor because he told Jack's in the first place

1:11:29

yeah, so everybody arrives for

1:11:31

this self-defense class and You

1:11:34

know, it's an ES. So bless her heart, but it's like Okay,

1:11:44

FFF so now they're

1:11:46

done with that part she's like then you go

1:11:48

like this Use your

1:11:50

power for good. So then all the ladies sit

1:11:52

around talking which is what we're really here for

1:11:55

of course and Christmas

1:11:57

like oh, thank you so much for inviting

1:11:59

me Who is for this one? And he

1:12:01

was like, yeah, I'm glad you're here. I really

1:12:03

wanted you to be here, Kristen. And

1:12:06

so Janet and Michelle, of course, did not come because

1:12:08

I heard Kristen was going to be there. So

1:12:11

Jasmine's just like, she's like, I just think you

1:12:13

need to talk to Michelle. And Kristen goes, listen,

1:12:16

I am the peacemaker, okay? I'm

1:12:19

like, everyone fucking please get along. When you look

1:12:21

at me, you just think, peace. I

1:12:23

wish they would just insert me in all the

1:12:26

conflicts going on across the world because I could

1:12:28

fix everything. I am a peacemaker. Also,

1:12:30

I'm the peacemaker. Like, if anyone's ever hungry,

1:12:32

I'm really good at peace. Yeah,

1:12:35

when she said she's a peacemaker, I laughed

1:12:37

so hard. And Jasmine was like, peacemaker? And

1:12:39

they're just all looking at each other like,

1:12:41

what is this lady talking about? So Brittany's

1:12:43

like, well, you haven't been a peacemaker recently

1:12:45

after you, because I heard that you said

1:12:47

that I said that I'm saying that everyone's

1:12:49

in. And you're like, well, Brittany knows

1:12:52

all about this rumor. Well, I'm not going to say

1:12:54

nothing. And why are you

1:12:56

bringing my diamond in this, Kristen?

1:12:58

Why, Kristen? No, what I

1:13:00

said was the only thing that

1:13:03

I said about it was that Jax is the one who

1:13:05

brought it up to me. And I don't want to talk

1:13:07

badly about your husband to you. Like, all of a sudden,

1:13:09

Kristen doesn't want to talk badly about Jax. Brittany

1:13:12

is like, now for the sake, for everyone. Ew,

1:13:14

I feel gross. Oh wait, sorry, I meant to

1:13:16

say for the sake. Whew, glad it

1:13:19

was just a typo in my brain. So

1:13:21

anyway, for the sake of everyone, I just wish

1:13:23

you guys would talk things and talk things and

1:13:25

things would just be better. And Jasmine's

1:13:27

like, yeah, we can all just be, someone can

1:13:29

all just be in the same room together. And Brittany's

1:13:31

like, well, yeah, and I just hate

1:13:34

this that they couldn't come tonight because

1:13:36

of drama that I and my

1:13:38

husband actually kind of started by blaming Kristen for.

1:13:40

I just hate that. So

1:13:43

Kristen's like, oh my God, this conversation sucks

1:13:45

because I know that I just have to

1:13:47

roll over because it's everybody against me, you

1:13:49

know? And so Brittany's

1:13:51

like, well, you know what?

1:13:53

I just think that it would make things

1:13:56

better with Janet too, if things got better

1:13:58

with Michelle and it's gonna be. You

1:14:00

try to make those things better honestly, even though I'm

1:14:02

the one behind the scenes telling everybody that you said

1:14:04

this and you said that And getting you in trouble

1:14:06

in the first place. That's kind of hilarious. This checks.

1:14:08

Oh my boobs hurt. They hurt. They're so heavy So

1:14:13

now we go over to Kristen's Jim's May

1:14:15

read launch and Zach is like helping set

1:14:17

everything up things were windy the Future

1:14:19

act keeps getting knocked over Like

1:14:23

tumbling down the hill and Kristen just

1:14:25

lying on the ground while that is doing

1:14:27

everything Jesus. It's hot I need shorts. I'm

1:14:29

gonna die. I'm literally gonna die I'm gonna

1:14:31

die before I get to see Brittany a

1:14:33

game that I could literally she loves game

1:14:35

night. She literally loves games Oh my

1:14:37

god, I'm gonna die So

1:14:40

then Kristen just like

1:14:42

sits around On her

1:14:44

phone while he was doing all the

1:14:46

work, you know This is the abusive

1:14:48

gaze that we see on Bravo just

1:14:50

another example this week Can I plead

1:14:52

to you again gay people stop being

1:14:55

friends with these Bravo assholes? It just

1:14:57

boss you around make you do everything. I'm sick of

1:14:59

it. It's a thing it on the TV. We deserve

1:15:01

better So Zach she

1:15:03

doesn't get strange changed into like kind

1:15:05

of a gypsy skirt type thing and

1:15:08

he's like, oh my god You look

1:15:10

so good. You look so good. I

1:15:12

cannot wait to have our baby. I

1:15:14

mean, I'm sorry I'm gonna need a

1:15:17

minute. Oh Don't

1:15:20

touch me I'm sweaty Can

1:15:22

we go over everything real quick, okay, so here's what

1:15:24

we need we did a restroom size Uh,

1:15:27

we can like seriously just like tell people as

1:15:29

long as a hundred people coming Yeah, but but

1:15:31

but jocks is coming. All right, we need a

1:15:34

restroom sign People speaking

1:15:36

people coming. Um speaking people coming. Sorry.

1:15:38

It's like really hard to tell if

1:15:40

it's me talking. Are you talking? Yeah,

1:15:42

so speaking people coming like who responded

1:15:44

for my group And so Kristen says

1:15:46

that she basically invited everyone except for

1:15:49

Janet and Michelle which makes Zach

1:15:51

really upset because Zach wanted Kristen to be heartfelt.

1:15:53

I don't bite them and let them be the

1:15:55

ones that said they're not gonna come Yeah,

1:15:59

And so then. You but you

1:16:01

really believe item select now. So

1:16:03

then flashback to five days ago

1:16:05

and he was telling Christian you

1:16:07

need to expand the invite and

1:16:09

says just ignored him.dot done so

1:16:11

then ah she's like oh we

1:16:13

love other things where it out

1:16:15

is an odd doll, crow Farm

1:16:17

or by. So

1:16:19

them on a she's like fuck those

1:16:21

girls the amount basically and he's like

1:16:24

Ogre said. her. Their friend comes over

1:16:26

and he's wearing crocs boots, bright pink.

1:16:29

Crock. Boots. Facts like oh

1:16:31

my God I know you

1:16:33

want me to love crossbows,

1:16:35

so not going all bow.

1:16:38

And I was like he can't love

1:16:40

these said Ali go over to bridge

1:16:42

act in front. nice house and I'm

1:16:44

pretty is on the phone with Janet

1:16:46

talking about like a big batch because

1:16:49

was acts as like working quote have

1:16:51

a working of counter and burn is

1:16:53

like soda some that the trade absolve

1:16:55

rate of a lot of of course

1:16:57

where and you know that So Data

1:16:59

is doing a baby moon to Big

1:17:01

Bear ah I'm as is inviting couples

1:17:03

ah before her baby shows up and

1:17:05

a but of course she's not inviting

1:17:08

Kristin so. We can already tell that is

1:17:10

the could be drama and also like I hate

1:17:12

when people don't have by people's recast trap like

1:17:14

you got him by their phones the can strip.

1:17:17

Yeah. Some I'm saying the stupidly the can't

1:17:19

do that Your new your new here you don't

1:17:21

get to just come on a recast the leaves

1:17:24

of the so you whack a deal with their

1:17:26

hibachi parties Like to see really think oh my

1:17:28

god today I'm taking the so over with my

1:17:30

hibachi party. Fell. Fell down

1:17:32

it so them on yeah and also your

1:17:35

party till like oh god why didn't we

1:17:37

just have a baby shower a memory mapped

1:17:39

have a sip in see in our gap

1:17:41

of of all this other shit for your

1:17:44

baby now amp of Abba final party for

1:17:46

you before you may be towns Amri party

1:17:48

sunni made as inventing things Jax of course

1:17:50

said well as non christian right like. this

1:17:53

feels like a messy situation so i'd be

1:17:56

messy so i'm gonna see this ebert is

1:17:58

that loss because i know the James

1:18:00

May thing like I'm sorry it's repentant but like I don't know when

1:18:02

I'm gonna see her again and I feel like this is the only

1:18:04

opportunity I have to tell her I mean like I have to be

1:18:06

messy I need to be messy like this has to happen I've had

1:18:08

to be messy right now yeah

1:18:10

he's like wow for her not to invite

1:18:12

Kristen that's messy even for me so

1:18:16

then Jan is like okay well

1:18:18

good luck today I hope

1:18:20

it goes well feel free to call me

1:18:23

later if you know things go down cuz

1:18:25

I really want the gossip even though I'm

1:18:27

trying to get this lady kicked off the

1:18:29

show so now they're talking about like this

1:18:31

is so crazy with Kristen and everybody

1:18:39

and now it's time for Jackson Brittany to go to this

1:18:41

party well Brittany is like you

1:18:43

know it's never been this crazy and mixed up

1:18:45

with my friendship with Kristen before ever I'm just

1:18:47

like so mad that she's like not invited break

1:18:50

down like whatever like like whatever like she hasn't

1:18:52

taken even the say hey James get off the

1:18:54

phone and she takes Jackson's phone get off your

1:18:56

freakin phone guy I'm talking about Christian

1:18:59

and he's like I'm sorry no no I

1:19:01

was uh I was talking to DJ for the party

1:19:03

no you are Instagram I could see the grid

1:19:05

in your background okay and that wasn't even the I

1:19:07

am BM babes like you say you're always looking at

1:19:09

it sorry I've got

1:19:11

three other businesses going on all right I'm

1:19:14

so busy I've got this trying

1:19:17

to lose more hair in preparation for

1:19:19

that thing hmm hockey

1:19:23

hockey down in Tampa sure

1:19:25

that's still in the that's the result the max still

1:19:27

waiting for the final round of interviews and

1:19:29

she's like oh yeah you got the businesses do you

1:19:32

do that by yourself because I'm pretty sure I'm doing

1:19:34

the exact same things as you are doing diet and

1:19:36

he goes no no no I

1:19:38

thought the work can you just like take ten

1:19:40

minutes and not be on your phone okay it's

1:19:42

like well just talked about Christmas tomorrow okay fine

1:19:44

okay what they'd like that we have nothing else

1:19:46

to talk about they in it's like

1:19:48

I don't care about Christmas I don't care about Christmas

1:19:50

I've got businesses I got business you know I heard

1:19:53

it is being married to an alcoholic so wait a

1:19:55

minute sorry I was just

1:19:57

saving that for the camera sorry nothing

1:19:59

honey Nothing. So

1:20:02

now we go back to the event and Jackson

1:20:05

and Brittany are there and Jack's like, wow looks

1:20:07

like Chris has more friends than I

1:20:09

thought. Wow I don't recognize

1:20:11

anybody. Does she just hire all

1:20:13

these people? Do you

1:20:16

think they think they're available for our bar

1:20:18

launch? So then Jasmine shows

1:20:20

up. Everyone's showing up, Danny and the

1:20:22

twins and everything. There's another tattoo stand.

1:20:25

They love tattoos as party

1:20:27

favors on this show. Such a

1:20:29

permanent thing for such a temporary

1:20:33

place. Yeah that's the thing.

1:20:35

You're just gonna get like a little something. I

1:20:38

don't know. So Jack's is like, so what

1:20:40

are we actually doing here? And

1:20:42

Zach is like, oh it's a rebrand yacht.

1:20:44

Yeah it's a right right. Yeah yeah yeah.

1:20:46

Don't you know that? And he's

1:20:48

like, I don't know. I don't know what this

1:20:50

is. I don't think anybody can even

1:20:53

buy anything. I think it's just samples. I might rather just

1:20:55

go on a bunch of creepy drugs with Jesse and have

1:20:57

a spiritual journey at this point. And

1:20:59

Zach's like, oh she just wants to

1:21:01

get back to her offense. So that's

1:21:03

what we're doing. He's like mm-hmm. Sorry

1:21:07

I couldn't hear you. I'm counting businesses in my head. This

1:21:09

is making me tired. So

1:21:11

then Brittany and Zach go gossip and

1:21:14

they're talking. She's pulling at her t-shirt.

1:21:16

She's like, this kind of t-shirt doesn't

1:21:18

work for big big women. No

1:21:20

t-shirt works for anyone that lets Jack

1:21:22

be in control of what goes inside

1:21:25

of them. So

1:21:27

Zach is like, well

1:21:30

I think that was like a first run. Like

1:21:32

that would may have been one of the ones

1:21:34

that fell down the hillside. I'm not sure. Well

1:21:36

when I talked to Janet earlier everybody got a

1:21:38

flyer and like even Jerry got one. And like

1:21:40

of course like Janet's gonna hear about this if

1:21:42

she sends one to Jared and Simon. I was

1:21:44

like, eeeeeggh. And Zach is like,

1:21:46

but here's the thing. I even told

1:21:48

her. Like I was like, Kristen, invite

1:21:50

them. Let them say no if they

1:21:52

need boundaries. They're

1:21:55

all mad at Kristen for not inviting Janet and Michelle but

1:21:57

it was Janet and Michelle who've been the ones who've been

1:21:59

exc- Glooting Kristen. Yeah,

1:22:02

and Michelle I can see it cuz Kristen

1:22:04

is going around like oh, I'm with your

1:22:06

affair I'm protecting all

1:22:08

your secrets. Don't worry, but Janet Janet

1:22:11

doesn't have that excuse. I don't like

1:22:13

it. So Brittany's

1:22:16

like yeah, yeah, I just don't even think she cares like

1:22:18

okay So what are we gonna do to try and make

1:22:20

her car? Are we gonna make her? Well,

1:22:23

I mean, what about the baby moon

1:22:25

though? I mean she's not even gonna go to

1:22:27

the baby moon. Maybe she'll care then he goes

1:22:29

wait a minute Wait a minute. Wait a minute

1:22:32

Donald's having a baby more Oh Yeah,

1:22:35

yeah. Yeah, we're going to big bay air and

1:22:38

she's like I mean she's not gonna buy Christian

1:22:40

in like you should talk Janet because like right

1:22:42

now It's kind of just like couples saying, you

1:22:44

know, it's ever been the couple. Oh, you haven't

1:22:47

date anyone ever have you? well,

1:22:49

so I don't know like I don't know if

1:22:51

you're coming or not, but like I kind of

1:22:53

bit weird even being the one to Tell you

1:22:55

because I better be invited. I better be invited

1:22:57

a whole lot as I am It's

1:23:01

really hard hearing love And

1:23:03

he's basically like fucking Janet We're in a

1:23:05

good place and the only reason she's doing

1:23:07

this is because I'm supporting Kristen, you know

1:23:10

It's like he has not about the couples

1:23:12

You don't want me there because you're either

1:23:14

not comfortable or you think I'm so not

1:23:16

on your side that I would immediately be

1:23:19

talking to Chris and about y'all so

1:23:22

now the whole group gathers and Jack's

1:23:24

just has this giant like circular sweat stain

1:23:26

right around his belly button and Zach is

1:23:28

like you're just like me Except I guess

1:23:30

you get invited to baby moons. I don't

1:23:33

know exactly. Yeah, I don't know. It's like

1:23:35

whatever I just I sweat I don't know.

1:23:37

There's nothing I can do about it. So

1:23:39

Luke is like Kristen. Are you okay?

1:23:42

You know what seriously a lot

1:23:44

for them to be here with babies. So

1:23:47

I really really appreciate it It means a

1:23:49

lot just like the emotional just like

1:23:51

a big happy family. I love

1:23:53

it. Where are the geckos? I'm hungry I

1:23:55

need their food and so

1:24:00

I was like, yeah, I hate to be the Debbie Downer

1:24:02

of your event, but I'm just gonna get this out of

1:24:04

the way because I'm uncomfortable being around strangers, people

1:24:07

from Craigslist that you brought in for this

1:24:09

fake business. It's not really yours. Got a

1:24:11

lot of businesses to run, so hate to

1:24:13

be Debbie Downer, but Janet and Jason are

1:24:15

planning a babymoon. You're not invited. We're all

1:24:17

going to Big Bear without you. So go

1:24:19

ahead. Cry about it. Zach? Take

1:24:22

it away. And Jasmine's like, wait, what?

1:24:25

And he's like, yeah, I mean, I was the only one who said

1:24:27

that you guys should kind of just want to get that credit. And

1:24:29

so Zach is like, I mean, it's

1:24:31

just like I'm like, okay, I'm like, just like

1:24:33

trying to like stop. I'm like, I can't like

1:24:35

when everybody moved to the Valley, it like basically

1:24:37

created a vision and friendship. And like, I didn't

1:24:40

get invited to like a lot of stuff and

1:24:42

like being one of the only single people in

1:24:44

the group and like not inviting me. I'm like

1:24:46

a babymoon feels like I'm being just like singled

1:24:48

out like emphasis on single because that's what I

1:24:51

am. Like why the fuck am I not invited?

1:24:53

I did nothing wrong. So

1:24:56

did they invite Jasmine? I couldn't tell by

1:24:58

her response because Jack said, unfortunately, they don't

1:25:00

want to invite you guys. And

1:25:03

she said, wait, what? I

1:25:05

couldn't. I thought maybe she wasn't

1:25:07

invited, but maybe she is because she is in

1:25:09

a relationship. Well I don't

1:25:11

know, but I hope she's not because I hope they can

1:25:13

all gang up now and get rid of Jen. Are

1:25:16

you seriously going to try and go against

1:25:18

Kristen and the gay? Really?

1:25:21

Good luck, honey. Good luck. You

1:25:24

know, have you seen these shows? Surely

1:25:26

you have. Are you really going to

1:25:29

try and go up against Kristen? You

1:25:31

fucking moron. I cannot wait to see

1:25:33

you get eaten alive, lady. Can't wait.

1:25:36

Good luck. Yeah. We'll

1:25:38

see how it all shakes out. But that's it for this

1:25:41

week's episode. It sure is, everybody. Thanks

1:25:43

so much for being here with us. Okay. We

1:25:46

will be back tomorrow with a little summer house and

1:25:48

there's still a bonus episode and

1:25:50

our live dwell hello from

1:25:53

the comedy festival will be posted, I

1:25:55

don't know, today, tomorrow, some point over

1:25:58

on Wunderi Plus. for being

1:26:00

here. We will talk to you guys next

1:26:02

time, okay? Bye. Bye. Watch

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We forever love Eva. Nobody holds a

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She ain't no shrinkin' violet coutard.

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We love you guys. Thanks

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1:28:00

I'm Alayna,

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