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0:32

everyone, remember the chaos and fun of

0:35

high school, Lulu? Oh, well how

0:37

could I forget it, Jach? It was probably some of

0:39

the best times of my life. It's good to think

0:41

back, isn't it? Thinking back on the nostalgia moments from

0:43

high school. What's your favourite moment? Oh,

0:47

too many to name, Jach. Too many

0:49

to name. Well, enough about the blokes you

0:51

kissed, and more into Lulu and I are living

0:54

all our high school years in Heartbreak High Season

0:56

2. It's a bloody good time. I could

0:58

have carried on about how, you know, I was very

1:00

good at speech and drama. I won

1:03

many awards, Jach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:05

yeah. The glory days, Lulu. Yeah. But

1:07

it's a good season. I've been binge watching it.

1:10

It's good classic Aussie humour, which is what we

1:12

like. It's sexy. It's not afraid to poke fun

1:14

at itself, which is pretty much exactly what we

1:16

mean well is, and what we do to each

1:18

other most days. It

1:21

is a little less woke this season,

1:23

you know, very, very funny and deeply

1:25

Aussie. You know what, also, it doesn't matter

1:27

if it's a distant memory high school for you, because

1:29

it's nice to look back and when you watch it,

1:32

you feel like you're back in high school

1:34

and you go, oh, I can relate to all of this.

1:36

Distant memory, huh? For you. Well. I graduated only a couple

1:38

of years ago, I think. Wow. Look,

1:40

everyone can join in on the fun

1:42

with Heartbreak High Season 2. It's out

1:44

now on Netflix. Do not miss it.

1:46

Get around it. Oh,

1:49

gross. Low.

1:56

Oh, yuck. Oh,

1:59

low. You're a fair dink

2:01

and grot. I had to have a surprise for

2:03

you. I had my tees ready for

2:06

you and you're shitting all over the seats. It's like,

2:08

what is that little bump? You've

2:10

accidentally put something

2:12

under my closet. Dude. Is

2:16

it a whoopee cushion? Samson,

2:19

he's like, dude, I want a whoopee cushion. And I

2:21

was like, I have to fucking get

2:23

loaded with a whoopee cushion. Like a

2:25

child. And then

2:27

she was like, look at this six year old humour. This

2:30

is what we're resorting to right now. There we

2:32

go. How good

2:34

is this dude? How good is

2:36

this? How good is this?

2:40

So awkwardly like, steering into your head. This

2:42

is prime humour. Ready? Say,

2:45

look. Oh, it's

2:47

okay. Fuck,

2:50

I broke it. Fuck. Fuck.

2:55

This just gonna be fucking... Fuck.

2:59

Fuck. You

3:02

just jumped on it. Fuck. Fuck.

3:07

Like these farts, like these farts. What is that? You

3:11

just know when you go... No.

3:15

How would you not know, Stinky Lou?

3:17

No, Jack, what would you leave? I

3:19

broke my fucking whoopee cushion. What would those

3:21

whoopee farts be after? Who would be cushion?

3:25

Hang on. Let me get all my whoopee again.

3:27

Oh, good old humour. Good

3:32

highbrow start to

3:35

the podcast. Cropdusting Lou

3:37

popping off. It's very cheeky.

3:41

Literally. That

3:43

fart sounded like your cheeks were clapping. Oh,

3:45

Jack. That

3:47

is disgraceful. It was a little bummer pause.

3:53

Well, I had many things I wanted to talk to you

3:55

about, but... You had a lot of things you wanted to

3:57

start with, but not a lot of things you wanted to fart

3:59

with. No, I didn't want to

4:01

start. I'm happy with it. You forced me to. You

4:04

forced my hand with a whoopee. Forced

4:07

you to do it. Now,

4:10

what did you want to start with? That was great,

4:12

Willy. I'm really happy with that. I can. That just

4:14

gave me so much to light. It works

4:16

out well with Lulu, but then you kind of... Oh,

4:18

fuck the whole thing. Yeah, no, you've broken it. Probably

4:20

for the best. Sorry, Samson. Probably for the best. We

4:23

don't have a whoopee around the office. No, we'll get

4:25

another whoopee. And I'm not talking Goldbergs. Is

4:27

that a name? Yeah, Whoopee Goldbergs. Yeah. I

4:30

got a can of whoopee ass. Good. That

4:32

was a phrase on the movie. I'm happy with it. Or

4:35

maybe I made it up. We've

4:38

got to talk about daylight savings. Okey-doke.

4:42

Now, why

4:44

in God's

4:46

name... Yep. Is

4:49

there a 30 minute time difference

4:52

from Melbourne, Sydney and Adelaide?

4:55

What do you mean? Like there's 30 minutes behind. Could

4:57

you not just call it a day? I didn't

4:59

think they were. They are. Could you not just

5:01

call it a day and have Sydney,

5:04

Melbourne and Adelaide all on one time frame? 30

5:07

minutes makes it so difficult. Imagine going, hey, I'll meet

5:09

you at Joe's butcher at 9.30. And

5:12

then you're like, oh, sorry. Hang on. Wait. I was on

5:14

Melbourne time. I thought you meant nine.

5:16

Melbourne doesn't go back any time. Melbourne

5:20

doesn't go back any time. Adelaide goes 30 minutes

5:22

behind though. Buddy, have you just said... Are

5:24

you sure about this? Are you confident?

5:26

Adelaide is 30 minutes behind Sydney and Melbourne.

5:30

Adelaide is behind Sydney and Melbourne. Melbourne is not

5:32

behind Sydney. Yeah. So have

5:34

you said... No. Yes. You

5:37

said Melbourne and Adelaide are half an hour behind. I

5:39

said, I said Adelaide is. Nobody. You

5:41

said Melbourne and I was confused because I'm like, I swear to

5:44

God Melbourne is not. I was meeting Melbourne and

5:46

Sydney are on the same time frame. Okey,

5:48

there we go. Finish your sentences. I

5:50

did. Do I need to

5:52

speak full stop? So what you need is... Do I need to

5:55

go Adelaide is 30 minutes behind

5:57

full stop. Melbourne and Sydney, full stop.

6:00

Wouldn't have a full stop. a bad won't. Do

6:02

you want me to just leo see the T?

6:04

Not frightened. Know but I donate for

6:06

must repay Not brain you to speak.

6:09

English English and they know. What

6:13

else for us? Air. The.

6:16

The border of to as a tweet hates in

6:18

school and get us. Out she died. So. The

6:20

ones on one New South Wales. You

6:22

alive and well known claims land borders the

6:24

different style. I met him going hey

6:27

mate you it. Bruce's.

6:29

Bookshop at Nine Thirty Samuel us quite

6:31

within a meeting. Nine Thirty Bruises Books

6:33

I bet on a scratch on on

6:35

flipping through a few pages on having

6:37

like week flatline with almond milk Outta

6:39

the whole to that I'm and then.

6:41

So like a new my way. flood more. Like

6:45

I say, what's the time? Why not

6:47

here? It's Nine. Said it all. Fuck

6:50

sorry. We live on between the border.

6:52

I was in claims land times. Or

6:54

height would be on between borders it like

6:56

living in between themselves and off when you

6:58

leave on between. I'm really pissed where. You

7:01

are on Omagh on more

7:03

that states in between New

7:05

South Wales. Claims last so

7:07

quickly aren't they brought. He

7:10

could have said. On. The border or in

7:12

between but no get a sort of the guy

7:14

for a little mountain high of it will get

7:16

up with the. Know that

7:18

they are says it's on the board

7:20

and and also by wayne of he's

7:23

suffering clean. But as you are

7:25

Love was Roman Ellis it up.

7:28

The different states. Other times I hear this

7:30

fucking civil tongue. Aware of that.

7:32

That, like, So. What's the Drop

7:34

Bruises bookshop he is? He's told somebody you

7:36

and on thirty minutes and then you end

7:39

up getting their like thirty and. Of

7:41

what I'm saying is I feel sorry

7:43

for the Patriots. Tight to patriotic.

7:45

Say that. Suck and people that

7:47

live and points he'd and they would deliver

7:50

his say that was. Good at getting

7:52

so much wrong. Bugs. Or

7:54

the senate shots and said as

7:57

soon as five inside and. On

7:59

the silver toes. You go to the

8:01

Silver Cold Coast. I haven't finished. I feel sorry

8:03

for them because imagine the amount of

8:05

meetings, appointments they would get wrong. I

8:09

dare say though, if you're that

8:11

close, you'd be pretty fucking used to it.

8:13

It'd be in the back of your brain a whole time. You'd have

8:15

to say meet you there at Bruce's Butchery to

8:17

grab some sauce these at 9.30 New

8:19

South Wales time. Exactly right. Meet

8:22

you there at 9.30 Queensland time. Now you've solved

8:24

the problem, haven't you? Anyone

8:26

listening, you're welcome. Yeah,

8:29

anyone in Tweedshead or on between

8:31

the border of Tweedshead and Gold

8:33

Coast. Is it Tweedshead? Yeah, it's

8:35

Tweedshead. Oh, say la vie.

8:38

Coozy coozy. No, different thing. Live

8:40

life love. Yeah, but completely different. Dance like no one's watching.

8:43

Well, some would say that

8:45

names are subjective. Mumma's

8:48

learning. Each to their own I would

8:50

say. She's getting stronger with every day. Now,

8:54

who the fuck is JoJo Siwa? I

8:59

am about to see the fucking

9:01

thing. Have you seen the

9:03

video on it's like, favourite? Who would you want

9:05

on your podcast? Favourite guest on your podcast?

9:09

Let's spice things up a little. One of my

9:11

accents? All

9:13

I've seen is people, favourite guest on your

9:15

podcast? Let's spice

9:17

things up a little. Maybe one of

9:19

my accents. Now,

9:22

that's all I, who the fuck is JoJo Siwa?

9:24

JoJo Siwa was on... Can you bet me up

9:26

on the... JoJo Siwa? No,

9:28

she was on the Dance Mums. She

9:31

was one of the original little girls who

9:33

used to dance. It was such a big

9:35

show. Well, you were on a booboo. Honey

9:37

Booboo was pretty sure maybe on Dance Mums

9:39

as well. Is it? No, she was

9:41

just a child pageant. Child pageant. She

9:43

was just a fat little thing. That's

9:46

right. She was a cute little thing. I resonate

9:48

with her. Okay, so JoJo Siwa, because fuck me, Dad. She's

9:50

getting the fucking hiding online at the moment. Yeah, but then

9:53

she's got this new song and it's like, Come on, raise this bitch.

9:55

I did do it. You should've known about

9:57

it. It's like a banger. It

10:00

is loaded. A let's not imply okay, that's

10:02

what my own coffee or and copyright notable

10:04

have a the singer. Liberal.

10:08

Good now we're all good the case. but I

10:10

just thought he thought this was someone that I

10:12

didn't know that existed to be. These. Prevalent

10:14

in my life at this time. Age

10:16

is fucking balls. well. They say any

10:19

publicity is good publicity. Are

10:21

still not my mouth? Of

10:23

still not any His. Clear.

10:25

I. Mean.

10:29

As. His songs

10:31

like can Judge I Say was so

10:33

She's been famous or all a loss.

10:36

Well not have this extended jobs so

10:38

she stepped it up and this is

10:40

skyrocket. Shoes. On a podcast is this is Greg

10:42

Us to I actually kind of to be on

10:44

sale. That. Sorry for a lot, she's twenty eight or

10:46

ten like some of it's of the fucking funny. But

10:49

likes things lead him as you may receive that

10:51

much online like that would hurt. About yeah

10:53

like won lot. Excellent Jsc asparagus. very

10:55

very line up in the public all.

10:57

So we kind like a piece of the four

10:59

hundred. If is one thing I've learned about the internet

11:01

speeds that is no Call it as a best most

11:03

runner a slice. People will com it be like

11:05

wow looks. Posse. To thy. State

11:08

of Us he cannot win. Or.

11:10

Men usually watch a video of what owned

11:12

a home die. You will watch a video

11:14

of a be Like A Man saving. I'm

11:17

a. Labrador puppy and and fucking

11:20

Koala from drowning and I'll be like.

11:23

I wonder if the asked animals victim

11:25

sent off for them a lot. Well

11:27

elaborate always. Probably actually going to destroy

11:29

that allows habitats what you just.is eliminated.

11:32

The quality of July was a logitech

11:34

while good word fuck with cities have

11:36

cropped up. Fujifilm comment a guy this

11:38

year as a savings that let yourself

11:40

all the way he ran across the

11:43

Us is easy to see when he

11:45

sort of have struggled getting a labrador

11:47

else. couldn't fuck him after that. Pretty

11:52

same struggling for s ah, like learn

11:54

to breed didn't do bits. Of

11:58

a good deals on swim. What?

12:02

What are your just say? Well yeah.

12:04

So she was on a podcasts and on

12:06

post fucking with use the entire time she

12:09

was wearing a truck ahead with dogs. Benefit

12:11

as possible for my really amazing. Just sitting

12:13

here was a typo. Thousand I'm bi. Or have three

12:15

hours a day. There was enough to ask you

12:17

to diagnose. I'm so surprised that Alex

12:19

Cooper from Call It at a dinner.

12:22

Kill. At all Yet. Military and

12:24

the to the blood clot. nine thousand. Is that

12:26

raw chicken stock with the best of them?

12:28

Yup. gotcha. And into that total on a

12:30

paypal or how to suck? Yeah, Cause a

12:33

blood clot. Nine thousand. And swim

12:35

on. He landed. Priscilla tried. Thanks

12:39

Alex Cooper! Says

12:42

into that's half staff you want to

12:44

watch some of call her that a

12:46

bogus learn a trigger target. of

12:49

abby with of. Adjusted

12:53

sending stuff clips of

12:55

colada? hey. Clubs has got

12:57

a to the early days numbered of only

13:00

forget. About got like not yell new on

13:02

how she just was so transparent. A really

13:04

dig the party of. Saw

13:07

that would assist or just had to bring

13:09

that up because of there was no a

13:11

never not been so cold in the city

13:13

or something and then been made to be

13:15

so cognisant of sidewalk and quickly. What happened

13:17

so quickly only and to me like

13:20

something just goes off and then it's

13:22

everywhere. At through at so what's. The.

13:26

Don't want something you. To fuck involving

13:28

the my me laugh. And license

13:30

please. Come

13:32

Iraq's a good as like you

13:35

either. I'm. Just priesthood.

13:37

Not real bad. Don't say some type

13:39

of joke about year to my foot

13:41

in the wizard. Or did it to

13:43

thy. Of we've both

13:45

got a story. The studios. Went

13:48

for a hot girl let pumped into a

13:50

free in here is cute little new pop.

13:52

A lot adorable. Tiny Little

13:54

they are pending lawsuit with the

13:56

other dog is a brother and

13:58

sister now. He die.

14:02

Out. A guy. I. Guess. What

14:04

was it? The ah puppies? Well why young,

14:07

two years old one and all that, that,

14:09

what I'm doing. Didn't.

14:11

Go into details as to could. Turn

14:13

over compensate com site to

14:16

compensate. Er said I'm all out on

14:18

the main the think sick. He

14:21

sorry something. Else. So.

14:23

Just back back it the

14:25

fuck up today. Says you

14:27

know what? mom is actually in caught the

14:29

mood for? What? Time. It

14:31

is very good mood slather

14:34

with only. Time. It is actually

14:36

light. It is like we're doing this at

14:38

eleven thirty pm. Because which

14:40

has been Lana with his smile.

14:43

Know it, we just had ice and soon. Ah.

14:45

Not. Enough in I'd take. The kids

14:48

are from school a farm. Six is

14:50

nice in school until it's just how

14:52

much tips can I ate? Still it

14:54

I guess they get home from school

14:56

and oh another bag a sauna than

14:58

a good com. Is how many chips

15:00

tonight. Sorry.

15:02

Rise suffered. I had I. Went. On

15:09

even do a sketch without face. Placement.

15:13

Get Over that sound recording s.

15:17

De Sus law say that the trolling

15:19

the plaintiffs we may well. Our

15:21

personality. Patrolling. The Beltway.

15:24

Maryland's very clever. You little bloody, I'm

15:26

drowning out here in the fucking. Always John

15:28

Boehner rescue. The.

15:31

May I wanted to stay in the

15:33

threat of my get riskier. Sorry

15:35

that it right. Yeah,

15:38

server, please continue the

15:40

rip. Well. Be

15:46

reality, get real fucked up with my

15:48

throat very closely now now. So

15:52

and. ah

15:54

hell raisers crisis

15:57

of on man

16:01

So far what I can't have a show. How

16:03

is this? Our full-time goal.

16:05

I love it. Good energy today, I like it.

16:08

Can I just get this cough out? Yeah, yeah,

16:10

yeah. Cough, cough. Cut

16:12

that bit Wilbur. Charge the good stuff, I gotta leave

16:15

it in. Leave it in kid. So

16:17

what happened after you

16:19

say, where's the other one, he's like, dogs dead. What

16:22

do you do? I just sort

16:24

of was glancing around, oh, you're

16:27

getting a coffee from Sonoma, good spark. How

16:30

are you doing? And

16:32

then I just keep doubling down and then I go,

16:34

you've been away for a while. He was like, that

16:36

was a year ago. Right. Oh,

16:39

just panic station. Right. Because I know where you are, you're

16:41

just trying to get out of that fucking... No, I've been,

16:43

that was a year ago. No,

16:45

and then I go, no, that wasn't, that was a few

16:47

weeks ago. It couldn't be. That was a few, I said,

16:49

I've bothered you a few weeks and I go, that was a year. Okay,

16:52

perfect. Oh,

16:56

fuck me, dad. Well, so

17:00

Lou and I had to film some content today. Lou

17:04

texts me, she goes, come on, be there in a

17:06

sec. I go, you fucking beauty. I'm

17:08

sitting there just writing. The

17:10

doorbell goes off, I'm like, fuck, that was pretty quick. Anyway,

17:13

I go up to the door, let him in.

17:15

I can't see the face. All I can see is

17:17

a tied up ponytail. I

17:19

go, Lou's here, beauty, open it, go back to whatever

17:22

I was doing. And I'm

17:24

like, actually, I'll just be a weird cunt. So

17:26

I open my door a little, so it's about four

17:29

inches open. I

17:32

get down on one knee and just have my eye looking through the door and

17:34

I start going... ...reading

17:38

really loudly, just the way she flew around the

17:40

corner and she like start laughing. Crouching

17:43

down. Crouching down. Just looking with one

17:45

eye peeking out the door hole. Who

17:48

was around the corner of the stairs but

17:50

a middle aged Asian woman? The

17:53

real estate agent. I

17:55

completely forgotten that we had

17:57

an inspection today, so I...

18:00

This real estate agent, she goes, hello?

18:03

And I go, and

18:06

I stand up and go, hi, how are you?

18:09

She's like, good, I'm just here to do the inspection.

18:12

You're like, that's how I greet everyone. And

18:14

I was like, I couldn't do anything. I

18:17

just had to say, I'm so sorry, that must have

18:19

been so fucking weird. I was expecting my friend to

18:21

come over. That's why I was doing that. She's like,

18:23

yeah, that's fine. That's, and

18:26

she was so weird. And

18:28

I was like, I'm going to go get the rest of the fucking inspection because

18:31

it would look so creepy. Yeah,

18:33

no shit. And

18:36

I was like, oh, there's actually

18:39

like an electrical fault up in the attic. And she's

18:41

like, oh, do I need to go up there? I'm

18:43

like, well, yeah, maybe the look, she thought I was

18:45

going to kill her. You've dropped your koala. Can

18:47

you get that for me? Yeah, buddy. Do

18:54

you need me to patch you? Yeah,

18:59

so anyway, you've talked about a dude's dead dog and I'm scared

19:01

the fuck out of a real estate agent. It was perfect. We've

19:03

had a great day. I can be honest

19:05

with you. When that

19:08

sort of middle aged lady rounded the corner, I

19:10

thought, fuck, where's

19:12

that arachnid? You

19:16

did not think it was me. No, as soon

19:18

as she ran out, I was like, oh, my

19:20

days. When you when I came up the season,

19:22

you're like, fuck, I've got a rippy arm for you. I

19:25

thought because we're filming a skit that has to do with the

19:27

bar. I thought something had gone wrong with

19:29

the bar. What do you

19:31

mean? Like, I don't know, like you couldn't fill it up

19:33

or like something like something to do with the skit, because

19:35

I was like arriving. You're

19:38

like, shit, I've got a yarn for you. Carrying

19:45

on with the combo? No,

19:47

OK, we got fucking first life statement back

19:49

again. Yeah, cool. I'll just do

19:51

a podcast with myself. No one

19:53

wants to join in on the condo. Perfect.

19:56

Just when I'm after today. No,

20:01

it was literally me scaring the fuck out

20:03

of another lady that I've never met before. Which

20:06

was perfect. Perfect. You thought that my nuts

20:08

had got stuck in the sink or something? Or

20:10

in the drain? Yes. It

20:12

felt something. Again. You've

20:15

had to help me in that pretty thing before. Yeah,

20:17

I did. Ugly stuff. How do you

20:19

start? Well thanks anyway. Back to you guys in

20:21

the studio. Up next we've got a talk in

20:23

Koala named Kevin. Alright,

20:25

how long are we being out for mate? Are we done? We

20:28

over? Yeah, about 20 minutes. Great. Good

20:30

to see you mate. Good to see you. No,

20:32

Susan, but don't stop there. I'll have a

20:34

podcast. Yeah, cool, cool. I'll have a talk with them.

20:37

Yeah, right. Alright, T. Good to see you. Bye. Bye.

20:42

Now Willie, where are we going for dinner? Mr

20:45

Wong? Perfect.

20:48

Perfect. Just again. Mr

20:50

Wong feels so what? Mr

20:53

Wongs feels so what? Yes.

20:56

Now, Louisa, let's

21:01

just say Daddy

21:03

wants to test his student. Test

21:07

who? His student. Who's

21:10

student? Your my student. Oh, student.

21:12

I mean. Put a T on

21:14

the end of it. You said student. Student. Like

21:17

as if I was some type of stew. Student. You are.

21:20

You're a thinky loo aren't you? No, no, like some type of casserole. You're

21:22

a thinky little loo. I told you we're not doing that anymore. Well,

21:24

think you loo. They called you the other night. Oh, well call me

21:26

test you. No

21:30

more thinky loo. Stinky loo doesn't like

21:32

thinky loo. It's because she's

21:34

a crop dust man. Now, student. Student

21:40

sounds weird. Do you want to know

21:42

what else I realise I say? I don't

21:44

pronounce my L's. So my brother's name

21:46

is Hot Will. Will. Hey, Louisa.

21:50

Well, I don't pronounce that. I think

21:53

I pronounced that L. Oh

21:56

God, dude. But

21:58

the L's at the end of it. I don't call him

22:00

Will, I call him Will. Will.

22:03

Will. I think I'd do the same as you, Will.

22:05

You say the L. You're saying

22:07

the L. Will. You are saying

22:09

the L. Trust me, I'm not. Will,

22:12

Will. You're saying the L. This

22:15

is the worst thing that's ever

22:17

happened. Ha ha ha ha ha ha

22:19

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

22:22

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It

22:24

is fucked! Terrible! Hey

22:27

guys! We're just- Louisa!

22:29

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

22:32

ha ha ha! It is fucking-

22:34

But it is- Will! Last

22:37

week you guys were doing moves in different

22:39

accents. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

22:41

ha ha ha! No, that was good gear. That was

22:43

fucking good too. It was good gear. But if I'm

22:46

saying- Ok, so if I say Willy B, I'm passing

22:48

the L, but if I finish it, I'll say Will.

22:51

Will. You see what I'm saying? No one gets

22:53

the L. I won't say Will. Ha

22:56

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cause you get onto

22:58

the student thing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

23:00

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

23:02

ha! Student. Yes, come on Test Tube. Come

23:05

on little testy. I can actually vouch that you

23:07

are Test Tube now, because obviously we filmed a bath

23:09

skit. So. What do you try?

23:12

It would fit in a Test Tube. Yeah,

23:16

but you're not supposed to tell the bedwares that that. Well,

23:18

I'm sorry, I like honesty. I like

23:20

to be transparent. What

23:22

a non-binary caretaker. Ooooooh!

23:25

Slick! A transparent.

23:29

A non-binary caretaker. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

23:31

ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm happy with it.

23:33

I'm also snappy with it. It was a quick gag.

23:35

Now listen up. You've been my student. Also

23:38

gappy with it if you had gapped teeth. Ha

23:42

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

23:44

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Now,

23:46

have you been listening? Do you think? Well.

23:50

So bad word is as you know, one of the staples

23:52

of the podcast early on was

23:55

farm terms. We did

23:57

it a fair bit. There's only so

23:59

many fucking. terms I could think of. What?

24:03

You just looked dead still.

24:05

I was just admiring it.

24:09

So I wanted, I

24:11

wanted, okay, you sweet little fucking

24:14

senoritas. I

24:16

want to test mummy, your mummy

24:18

by the way. Yes. I want to suss out if you've

24:20

actually learnt. Now I've got a couple of easy ones and

24:23

a couple that are more mid-tiered harder.

24:25

I hope I have. TDD will be

24:27

embarrassing. Well, you also had a good

24:29

fucking solar So

24:35

will his mum. So you'd want to start fucking logging this shit. Well, I wish you'd given me a bit

24:37

of a heads up. That's not how this works kid. So

24:40

we're going to do some farm terms. So is there

24:42

this kind of life isn't it? Yeah. You don't really

24:44

get a heads up on what's coming, getting thrown at

24:47

you. Yeah, here are the answers to all your exams.

24:49

Do well kids. Yeah. Or you know, here's

24:51

a redundancy.

24:54

That'd usually give you the heads up, yeah. No,

24:56

well you'd find out the day it was happening. Well,

25:01

disagree. I agree to disagree. That is

25:03

true. Bing bong. What

25:05

do you want to say to Joe Biden?

25:07

Look baby, take me out to

25:09

dinner. Okay. Mummy's been drinking

25:12

again today. Oh, yeah. Have

25:16

you seen a

25:19

motherfucker? He's like, um,

25:21

yo, you look like a, yeah, don't

25:23

have it. Don't have it. Don't

25:26

have it. Just like you heard. Don't

25:29

have a disrespect me looking like Squidward's

25:31

dick. That's another viral video. He was Jojo

25:33

Siwa. What? You

25:38

are an idiot.

25:40

What do you mean? Is

25:43

there anything in that brain? He was Jojo Siwa.

25:45

Because we were just speaking about viral videos and we

25:47

were like, what else could go viral? And then we

25:49

were like, oh, I can't think of anything. He was

25:51

a Jojo Siwa in the sense that he went viral.

25:53

Yeah. The way you put it. No, shut your mouth.

25:56

I thought he had something to do with Jojo Siwa.

25:58

Shut your mouth while you're speaking to me. Give

26:00

me the phone terms. Hey,

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moonpig.com. moonpig.com Alright,

27:38

we'll do a jiggle for farm terms in a country song.

27:41

Well, yee haw, we've made our way down

27:43

to one of the

27:45

final farm terms cause Lulu's

27:48

gonna learn again. Jesus Christ.

27:50

Okay, you fucked me dude. It's late

27:52

guys. Um,

27:54

it's late. Now, Lulu.

27:59

Let's start. Dot you with an easy one. Was

28:03

a Jack A Road. Ah,

28:05

I'm. Lower. Than

28:07

a farmhand. Direct.

28:11

Yes. Yes,

28:14

That's correct. I owed six sizes.

28:18

Guys are Jai yeah I'll I'll

28:20

get that says that Literati along

28:22

you are. often up and I says everyone I

28:25

you. Or your six? Are you on six?

28:27

I just had to live in awfully this.

28:30

Kind of what is a massive ferguson.

28:32

Me: The tell me who

28:35

Who? As he ferguson. It's

28:38

not a towel. Or

28:40

is it a take part. Of

28:43

right ideas it's it's tracked as law

28:45

by receive Go back to say by

28:47

well ma'am at Nine Well now you

28:49

back Six did or our kids mccain.

28:54

Does sound like a cow. Got

28:56

wrapped round up the buoyancy Sergei

28:58

what some was Six point nod.

29:02

As a basketball with six point nine. Percent.

29:06

Something bright, ruined by period. Will

29:12

say go to the Psalms and empty

29:14

seats than the non remind me of

29:16

joke Good right? Was surprised to see

29:18

it's and something right ruined by period.

29:21

Youngster: The Just is. One.

29:27

Of those a good joke

29:29

says unaware says. Yes

29:31

this is usually you're unaware

29:33

of jokes in the my

29:35

happens you'll off vs but

29:37

his diligently two months assist

29:39

or up. What's.

29:42

Stopping it. You've. Never done

29:44

that last. Know you have no issue of.

29:46

Payment. Of have on know you have not done

29:48

saw think my buddy. To.

29:52

Beautiful picket sense that go since in the

29:54

starlight. Body. Since.

29:57

Post. I will give it

29:59

to you. Going to be notified of recently Murray. Fuckin

30:03

he did it. He gave him. A

30:08

subsurface. What's a brahmin? A

30:11

man who just loves browse. he goes around on plucky the

30:13

back of them. You'll it in a while, but it does

30:15

that. Feel

30:18

good about not gonna go on both

30:20

sees. Not only as a lifesaver, The pod

30:23

fallacies. The brahma as the brought up as

30:25

a promise. And

30:27

is only one bras. Ah

30:32

Rahman. Is it?

30:40

Higher than a farmhand. Oh

30:42

buddy. Off wrong spaces. That

30:46

a cow or you it to. Yeah, it's

30:48

a both break vertebrate. To of town.

30:52

And although I do like been told

30:55

the brahmins from now on okay. Brahma

30:58

by Emote The Brahma Do not. My first

31:00

ever experience at a strip club. The stripper

31:02

Tommy the Unhook abroad like holy fuck with

31:04

one hand and I'm like eighteen. That fucking

31:06

school isn't what got a chance. I'm doing

31:08

this. I went and did it and to

31:10

like what the fuck am I will not.

31:13

Called the Brown from then on a. Nice.

31:15

Probably because I looked like I was in the

31:17

my see I did piece of shit. You to

31:19

look for a year on a Psych I day?

31:21

Seriously? We'd way

31:23

to put that's now why and

31:26

how that. Sounds like you

31:28

would have would like you would have to use

31:30

if I got a not so much as I

31:32

write a new just as as. As

31:34

nile I say my. Vocabulary.

31:39

Kids. Goodness. We. Reckon

31:41

a mountain Oysters. And

31:43

by think about as a citizen

31:45

Mountain Oysters. Think.

31:48

About oyster when a man is it around.

31:51

Or is it a goat? What

32:00

do you think? Think about

32:03

it. Think about an oyster in the grass.

32:05

What does it look like? Shit.

32:12

No. No, that

32:14

wasn't a guess. You were just saying shit because you can't figure it

32:17

out. Yeah. You're

32:19

now selling the property. You haven't got money. No acres left.

32:23

Shit. Mountain oyster.

32:25

Another little hint? Most

32:30

people in this studio have them. Cocks.

32:34

Cocks. Gosh.

32:43

What's close to a cock? A

32:47

vagina? Get off the fuck! What

32:50

looks like an oyster? Oh,

32:53

a bum. No! A

32:58

nut! A testy! A mountain

33:01

oyster as a castrated testicle! That's right.

33:06

A bum! Look at what's close to

33:08

a cock! Look at you right there! We've

33:11

got two other things! It's because you can't

33:14

see or even just see the door. A bum!

33:16

So excited. I know, but I just went, you

33:18

know. A

33:21

mountain oyster is simple. It's so, look buddy, you're

33:24

not retaining, I've tried to educate the kid and

33:26

she's not retaining. What, how many, am I on

33:28

point five of an acre? You got, what, I'll

33:30

give you, you got point five. I've got no

33:32

more. I'll give you an acre. Give me one

33:34

more. Okay.

33:38

And if I get this, I get ten acres. Okay.

33:42

It's redemption brown. I like it. I like where your

33:44

head's at. I'll

33:48

give you an acre. If you make it a good one, then I'll

33:50

know. Thanks, I really

33:52

appreciate it. I could use that,

33:55

especially in Sydney. What's an auger? AUGER.

34:00

We've. Never done and all them. Have Buddy. And

34:03

focuses. On

34:06

their. Minds

34:09

he likes the big. Evil woman who

34:11

would be like dishing out elect

34:13

coleslaw or it's casserole school cafeteria

34:15

at risk Or tell you why

34:17

you think that discuss it sounds

34:19

like ogre mother. Either that sounds

34:21

like older or gallagher big. Oh

34:24

does he think and Olga knows

34:26

his ability About I realized services.

34:28

May have everything am I and I was there was

34:30

this may Express v My and a dialogue. Which.

34:32

I should probably not there as often. I with the odds

34:34

are that yet. I'm

34:39

out. When she to get

34:42

those ages title I. Literally. To

34:44

give the here are guys you can guess what

34:46

I'm Olga. Is each side

34:48

softens Graeme out of I? An ogre

34:50

can soften Grind out of I. Owe.

34:53

A big machine or. What?

34:56

Have I could grind stuff in? May's.

35:00

Going on. At

35:03

what. About

35:08

a solo. Ah

35:10

yes! It is an

35:12

older as I sit. By the way

35:14

visit sites. If you've got a solid

35:17

say, you're sorry I would run run.

35:19

Yep it's grad student Olga. You.

35:21

Sauce and out it softens that with the grind

35:23

out the gonna go into the olga pushed up

35:25

into atrocities I don't have a nice a sane

35:28

and yeah buddy was done. This is. Just

35:30

as I say. Speaking of key things,

35:32

Tdd. Seat. Me I am photo of

35:34

his. Escalator on its

35:36

little trailer. Of

35:39

door of on it's got.

35:43

So many guys ppp, people from a bag

35:46

of us and against ppp the the at

35:48

the friends and him a little do is

35:50

go to the sorry the little his little

35:52

rather. Id got to the runway. Disclose and

35:55

a little door locks and then

35:57

valve is see his after and

35:59

I saw. He was like, what is wrong

36:01

with you? He's a big manly man in a fucking... operating

36:05

heavy machinery. And she's like,

36:07

oh my god, you cool little fling. He's

36:13

like, for fuck's sake, this had the opposite effect

36:15

of what I wanted. No, it's too hot in

36:17

manly. Yeah, highly. You

36:22

didn't play Scary Groove? Now, you haven't learned, have you?

36:24

Wow. You haven't learned a fucking thing, have you? Now,

36:26

actually, you did pretty good. What did you get? You

36:28

got Jackaroo? I thought I was on a... You got

36:30

Star Pickett? I thought I was on a hot run when

36:32

I got Jackaroo. You got Massey, but

36:34

I gave you a fucking hint with the tractor

36:36

wheel. Yeah. Bugger.

36:39

It's okay, bud. Do a bit of study. Okay. We'll

36:42

come back. Redemption route. Easy. And

36:44

that's for A-credge. Speaking of

36:47

TDD, I had a mate call me today, Chopper. And

36:50

he goes, there you go. I said, good, he goes. I got a

36:52

fucking... I got a theory. I

36:54

said, what, he goes, it's a theory about Lou. I

36:57

said, what, he goes, I

37:00

reckon TDD is just a finance bro

37:02

in tradies clothes. I

37:05

said, run me through that. What do you

37:07

mean? He goes, well, mate, what

37:11

is he? Fucking Sparky? I said, no, he's a plumber.

37:13

He goes, fuck same shit. He

37:15

goes, these cunts wipe their asses with fucking $100

37:17

bills. She's just

37:19

going for a fucking finance bro. They

37:21

show up, they do fuck all, and then a fuck

37:23

load of money. He goes, she's just

37:25

chosen a finance bro in fucking boots. TDD's

37:27

not a finance boy. I

37:30

actually know that he's not. He works very hard as well.

37:32

He works hard for that green baby. He's got a fucking

37:34

home maintenance chick in his take care of him, huh? Excuse

37:36

me, Jack. He's got Dumber

37:38

Bro. I'm

37:40

happy with a Porto on the couch

37:43

and some Prago sauce. Prago sauce.

37:46

But it must be served by Jeeves into my

37:48

mouth. Correct

37:50

of Wendy. Should we play some

37:52

Skategories? It feels

37:54

like a fun thing to do today. Daddy Mikey.

37:57

Well, just before we do Skategories. with

38:00

a different to say well you're doing it because

38:02

it's a lot astute yeah and

38:04

what if i can well not not don't put

38:06

me in your category place or

38:09

your category it's not happy

38:11

with it okay close your eyes now

38:15

i'm not going to kiss you are not going

38:17

to expect that uh... okay okay

38:22

now what are those tell the big bit is the

38:25

tiny little tiny the

38:27

tiny little toby for the for the fuck do you

38:29

get all of the cost me a lot of money from

38:31

amazon no i did it i did it how much but

38:34

including delivery like forty seven dollars

38:36

or something for fucking forty

38:39

seven dollars though aren't my and

38:41

rebut they say corgi corgi

38:44

venge is coke

38:46

avengers like coke avengers not like

38:49

you and i think i was also the

38:52

fuck it does it small

38:56

thing i've ever seen that it is

38:58

in the mirror this morning yeah i

39:01

saw that in the bar well it's just dot

39:03

for the bad weather and i think you and

39:06

i think that they've been this is actually

39:08

greatly low ball not a sick place

39:10

time to get a gory's other uh...

39:13

article categories

39:17

okay with will appear all

39:20

right so we're going to do list number

39:22

nine mannan and a letter is i'd

39:28

in three to one three

39:35

and down shit and

39:39

that's one let's

39:43

do it you got kid all

39:45

right first one things that go because

39:49

of the i felt our you do yeah

39:55

uh... te dodge Just

40:00

anymore It's

40:05

fucked France you're thinking

40:07

of Paris number one. Yeah, but

40:09

it's in France If

40:11

you fuck it have it movie

40:14

titles Ready got fingered

40:16

the Ferris Bueller's Day off I'm

40:19

not even gonna say what is that? I'm giving it to

40:21

you. Thanks. You don't know that film. Yes.

40:24

I've seen it many times I

40:26

don't I was it a porno. No That's

40:29

a legitimate movie. Oh Yeah,

40:32

right should have seen it. Sorry things

40:34

you carry right? fruit

40:38

You could be carrying it from we understand you can carry

40:40

fruit you don't like we've given it to

40:43

you I like to tell you my thoughts We

40:46

get it Foods

40:51

you fry fish fries Fuck

40:54

yeah. Yeah, I love that. I love fish and

40:56

chippies. Okay Expensive

41:00

items fire engines. Oh, they would

41:02

be expensive Ford

41:04

Ranger. Yeah, yeah, how much would

41:06

a fire engine be willing? I reckon it have

41:08

to be like fucking 300 I

41:11

was thinking for even more to be

41:13

honest Half

41:15

a mill. Yeah, I'm going five hundred

41:18

Surely because there's a lot to

41:20

them. Yeah and heaps of water in them Well,

41:23

yeah, no, but like in the pipe. I don't understand that

41:25

it's probably not the most Maybe

41:28

do a plumber fire engine. It says

41:30

each appliance costs approximately 1 million dollars.

41:32

What fuck fuck me dead I'd

41:36

love to go around the city in a fire engine

41:39

Hey any fire engine the firefighters want to

41:41

take any fire engines listening like

41:44

it's fucking cars, too Hey

41:47

any firefighters listening want to take Josh and I

41:49

for a hoon We'd love to Lou

41:51

would also love to see your the

41:54

next edition of your calendar the 2025 edition Yeah,

41:56

you did you said that don't tell

41:58

TDD, but I look at some I'd like

42:00

to see it. How'd I miss that one? What? Oh

42:03

no, sorry, I've subconsciously flipped it over to the

42:05

list. Oh, number six. Okay,

42:07

yup. Fads fades. Ah.

42:12

I'll give that to you. Thanks. I didn't get one.

42:17

Thanks, the arbiter of everything

42:19

that is fucking...scattergores. Alright.

42:24

Arts and crafts activities. Finger painting. Face

42:26

painting. Oh wow. Look at

42:28

us. No, Jack, you're very clever.

42:31

Aren't you? Things you can squeeze. Fat.

42:34

Fat. You can

42:36

squeeze out of fat. Yeah, so technically squeeze.

42:39

You can squeeze the fat though, buddy. Well,

42:41

we just squeeze the whoopee cooch. Let's just bring this...

42:45

You squeeze the whoopee cooch, which is technically a fat. Let's

42:47

bring the podcast highbrow. Do you think

42:49

that you can physically squeeze a fat?

42:52

No, but there's no wording around that. There's

42:55

no wording around that that says... No

42:57

but was your initial answer. You can squeeze

43:00

physically. Does it say that? No. It's things you

43:02

can squeeze. A fart. It's like giving a

43:04

virtual hug. I'm squeezing. You can squeeze out

43:06

a fart. You can't squeeze what

43:08

you're talking about. You understand what I'm saying? You

43:11

can't squeeze a fart. It's

43:13

up to Will. You

43:15

can't squeeze a fart. You can squeeze out a fart. Thanks,

43:18

kids. Alright, our sexist again.

43:21

Sexist. You're

43:24

gonna have to let her win so they don't get cancelled. Yeah.

43:27

No, you know what? I'm gonna give that one to you, Luz. You can squeeze a fart.

43:29

You can have that. You know

43:31

what? I subconsciously picked it anyway. No

43:34

wonder you never lose this game at

43:36

home. You're just picking anyway. Alright. Ends

43:39

up in lost and found. Fedoras.

43:42

You'd bloody hope not. You'd hope it's always

43:44

found. I know, right? Footwear. Yes,

43:46

beautiful. You might lose your foot. We understand.

43:49

Sorry, like... We understand. Guys,

43:51

I can't help it. Is something wrong

43:53

with me? So what you were about to do

43:55

is say, you could lose a shoe. Yeah, yeah, we get it.

43:58

People... I want the

44:00

commentary. Okay. I run through it.

44:03

I'm through it. You could go to the beach, the

44:06

podcast beach where you're surf lifesaving.

44:09

And I'm swimming in the water and I could run in with

44:11

my heavy armors on the beach. I'd run in, I'd come

44:13

back once we've been swept out to the sea. And

44:15

you think that's how we get in love with

44:17

the sound? Well, Jack I haven't... Not just by

44:20

leaving a jogger on the oval of pool. Haven't

44:22

been anything. You haven't been. You haven't been. No.

44:25

You haven't been. You haven't been. You

44:27

haven't been. You haven't found it. You

44:29

haven't found it. You haven't found it.

44:31

You've swam out and found it

44:33

on your pictures and

44:37

you've built it back. So it's not

44:39

in lots and bounds. You've got it.

44:41

You've put it in lots and bounds. Come

44:45

on. Fuck me, dear. Shit.

44:49

One time. We literally explained it.

44:55

We explained maybe the one instance

44:57

where you would never get it back.

44:59

Disagree. Fucker. That was the greatest

45:01

thing I've ever heard. That

45:03

fucking shit up. Yeah. In the

45:05

ocean. You're never getting that

45:08

back. Oh yeah. Goes out to sea, shark hates it. You

45:10

never see it again. That's

45:12

how. Idiots. That's great.

45:14

Holy dooly. Number 10. Furniture.

45:17

Footstool. I put footstool too. Show

45:19

me. That means we don't get it. Footstool.

45:23

Oh sorry, I put footrest. I think maybe they're different. We both get

45:25

that. Well it doesn't matter either way. Yeah cool,

45:27

let's get that. Things you do online. Fap.

45:30

Oh. Clank that jank. Well here we go.

45:32

Technically you're not doing that online are you? No but we gave

45:34

it to you last time. That's why I put it down. Oh

45:36

you're a piece of shit. What? I played by

45:38

your rules. I'm not a piece of shit. I'm not

45:40

a piece of shit. I'm not a piece of shit. I'm not a piece

45:43

of shit. I'm not a piece of shit. I'm not a piece of

45:45

shit. I'm not a piece of shit. I'm not a piece of

45:47

shit. I'm not a piece of shit. What? I

45:49

played by your rules. Yeah. The clips

45:51

on the other show. The one show that didn't get to a better place. foot

46:00

rest. It's good, I'm happy with it. Mine

46:02

was finding your ex-girlfriend's new

46:04

girlfriend. Whoa!

46:09

What? Finding your

46:11

ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. You

46:14

go for an FBI stalk on Instagram. It's

46:17

long winded but I'll give it to you. I'm

46:19

tired, you have it. I'm tired too Jack. No

46:21

you're not, you're sweet. I am tired. My mum

46:23

is full of energy. Being tired is

46:25

subjective. Okay, our last

46:28

one. Places to go on a date.

46:30

Fooderies. They're

46:32

ample foodery. A foodery. I'll

46:35

give you that. Thank you. I put Fred's which is

46:37

a fancy Mirabar restaurant in Paddington. You've got it

46:41

kid. I got it from my mumma. Oh,

46:43

12 out of 12, wow.

46:46

Same. Sorry? I

46:48

think there was a few that we contested but do

46:50

we can... Well, fine. You can have

46:52

it. I got a living. What did you

46:54

get? I swear I actually

46:57

got a living. Louisa. I'm not fucking

46:59

with you. I got a living. I

47:03

did. Yep,

47:07

missed that one. I think fart.

47:11

You've given yourself farts, did we give her farts?

47:13

Willie gave me farts. I retroactively gave her farts.

47:15

We didn't want to get cancelled. Why are

47:17

you even counting? You still won. Take

47:19

them for once. Very

47:23

violent and I don't like it when you get violent, Louisa.

47:28

Oh, I think it's time for the hotline. Do

47:30

you ever sometimes just want to move

47:33

to the Alps? Didn't

47:36

you test groups off me for saying this the other day? Literally

47:38

when I was driving here I knew that I

47:40

had told you that I was like, that's fucking

47:42

stupid. You felt it today. Did you? What made

47:44

you feel it? Just

47:47

tired. Oh.

47:50

Well, I thought that's what you're insinuating. No, just

47:52

one of those days... Yes, Louisa. I fucking

47:54

hate the city. I honestly wake up

47:57

every day sometimes. Well, that

47:59

doesn't make sense. If. You I

48:01

got a limited amount of city or why

48:03

get married? I have a sometimes I go

48:05

off spock and donny. yeah. Let's split

48:07

Split still does houses. In the city

48:10

on the middle son around them lighter

48:12

skin muses, science. That's. Good. the

48:14

way he nails. good. We're building and

48:16

cried, but long term plan Daddy's app.

48:18

Will you with got of says out of high school

48:20

the Bacillus. Sun on as much flashed fans

48:22

are can fresh or comes was like seeing

48:25

within the straw. Yeah stay for like that

48:27

to see lot. That's the only reason Seven

48:29

Sangfroid Tamworth t they they will i that

48:31

as well. The good because it is really

48:33

fresh. They're good for station on a country

48:35

girl. she used to it but a typical

48:37

Seven sign for and. I'll be there. At

48:40

yes. Sir. Alfred born right That's where

48:42

women with a petty is from a nice the

48:44

goods and we can talk back to Sydney my

48:46

eyes to come up with commute everyday stuff I

48:48

see my a few days fucking records and parties

48:51

go back to our first a lot have goats

48:53

and sheep. guard dog and a little pigs are

48:55

going to have pullout. I'd figure out your future

48:57

children like that amounted to get us begun ballots

48:59

that now magna you to talk to them when

49:02

they're actually out. Ah, it's yeah, I. Won't.

49:04

Be having this today. So.

49:07

He did the funny to easy said every

49:09

episode is dead today. I'm not having guests

49:11

and a new habit. Will you know what'll

49:13

happen? One day I'll I'll snap. And

49:15

only the combat. As.

49:18

Puzzle. Push away

49:20

the Sox without the dig dug ld

49:22

The excuse me? Who. Would who

49:24

would bring the the contents as

49:26

categories. To. Die Point. Now

49:29

we just get someone else to. Was mentally impaired. A

49:36

safe.remains of any done. The complete opposite

49:38

side for a nice. Proper

49:41

things, You know what? I've really noticed that

49:43

I. Don't. Really, look at

49:45

our fucking operation much of a

49:47

toll. Just your color matching to

49:49

guys are on another level. Think

49:51

pants, top joggers, On. Real

49:54

stuff that with the fucking what's often the

49:56

watch him when you sorts deadly. Ah

49:58

that that's. enough. You

50:01

don't need three. Well I asked for

50:03

three. I know. It's a bit lazy. I know.

50:07

I'm not going to let it slide. You're going to have to, Kit.

50:10

Papa Bear's done. I'd love you

50:12

to I'd love you to postulate Papa Bear is

50:14

in this situation. Well I won't until he gives me two

50:17

more comps. That's a fair point. You've

50:19

shaved your legs. It's good. Yep. We did that ad

50:21

for you the other day didn't we? Two didn't have

50:23

shaved their legs shaved. You.

50:27

It is right. It's spiky wasn't it?

50:29

A little bit prickly. And? I'm going

50:31

to Melbourne. Ah prepping

50:34

for TDD. I get it. Smooth,

50:37

silky smooth, big legs. And

50:39

wet grasses leaf and where

50:42

to leave the races make it

50:44

easy for me this time. John. I

50:46

told you to stop going through my bins. You

50:48

can't help but know where they

50:50

are now. John. You

50:53

got to stop waiting outside my litter box. Not

50:57

the only pox I made inside of. Should

51:01

we do some hot life? Yeah please. You

51:03

left that wide open, Kit. Bed witters you've

51:05

been calling in haven't you? You're

51:07

very clever with your little stories of was I

51:09

the arsehole aren't you? I'm chill. Very clever bed

51:11

witters. Now you've been calling in. Given

51:14

this your best was I the arsehole

51:16

store. Yarns I suppose from high school.

51:18

Good. It's nice reminiscing isn't it?

51:20

Good nostalgia. It is good

51:23

nostalgia. I mean some of you are very

51:25

naughty little senior readers. Let's just get that

51:27

fucking straight. Now have you finished because this

51:29

is all thanks to Heartbreak High now playing

51:31

on Netflix. Only on Netflix actually.

51:33

You've got to have you finished it yet? Haven't finished

51:35

it. You're nearly there though aren't you? That's correct. It's good.

51:37

Wait till you get to the end. It is a

51:39

ripper show. It's got a bit of it. Well it's a

51:41

very big twist at the end. You love the end.

51:43

Well don't spoil it. I'm not going to. And

51:45

let me just say Bryn. Tremendous

51:49

actor. Great bloke as well.

51:51

Fucking good bloke. So good. He was so fun with

51:53

me and him in here. It was. So we're

51:55

gonna play you a couple more of your little

51:57

naughty was I the arsehole yarns.

52:00

And then we're gonna deliberate on

52:02

whether you were or not, but

52:04

let's face it at the end of the day, we're all fucking assholes at

52:06

some point. Yeah. Now this one was

52:09

split, so bear with me for a second. I'm gonna play

52:11

the first and then get the second one. Now when you

52:13

say bear with you, do you mean take off all clothes

52:15

and be bare in your presence or do you mean wait

52:17

for you? Both. We can

52:19

do it. Boys. Sorry. Hi

52:22

boys. Hi boys. Okay,

52:26

hit us with it. G'day,

52:28

fuck we're in Jartsch. So

52:31

I know I'm the asshole on this occasion,

52:33

but it's a bit of a revenge asshole.

52:37

So this cocksmoker used

52:39

to pick on me from very

52:41

little to very old. So

52:45

one day at a party we had

52:47

a few beddies. We

52:51

weren't underage. And

52:55

he picked on me for that long that I decided

52:57

that I was gonna fuck with him

52:59

a little bit. I got him pissed. He

53:02

passed out. Yeah,

53:05

just leave it there. Beautiful. Good

53:08

mate, yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's killing

53:10

us. And then... Fuck

53:13

me, can't part out. Anyway,

53:16

I got

53:18

him pissed at this party and he passed

53:21

out. So I may have

53:23

whacked his hands down his pants on

53:25

his backside and

53:28

everyone thought he was fingering his butt. So

53:32

for the rest of our days he's been called

53:34

Fingers. So moral

53:36

of the story is don't fuck and pick on

53:38

people you'll wanker. Wait,

53:41

so he... So old mates passed

53:43

out. This fella has got

53:45

his hand, like the bloke who's passed out

53:47

hand, put it down his own pants so

53:49

it's down into his bum. And

53:51

it looked like he was... That

53:53

is so mean. He is definitely the asshole.

53:55

But he was being bullied by this guy his

53:58

whole life. So fuck Fingers. Both

54:00

of them are assholes. Well, one

54:02

of them... Don't bully and don't

54:05

spike people to make it look like and then

54:07

put their hands at places where they want to

54:09

go. Fingers was literally in the asshole. Yes.

54:13

But I think revenge

54:15

is a dish served best in

54:18

the dought. And guess what? That's what

54:20

he did to fingers. Look, if

54:23

you're really going to bully people, you've got

54:25

to accept some form of ramification at some

54:27

point at some time. But I think that

54:30

was a bit mean. Depends on the

54:32

level of bullying. Sounds like fingers

54:34

is an asshole. Sounds like, oh mate, bit of

54:36

an asshole, but I'm with it. I'm all about

54:38

that. I'm going double whammy assholes. You want Danny?

54:40

Yeah, I'm going Danny. Jesus, I'm going more suck

54:43

shit fingers. You don't know

54:45

what fingers did to them though. So you're

54:47

just... But it sounds bullies. Hey bullies.

54:50

Sounds like... This guy's retaliating by

54:52

being a bully. No. He's been bullied.

54:54

He goes, fuck it. I'm sick of

54:56

being bullied. Guess what? How good's that?

54:59

Get them back. I'm going double whammy assholes. I for

55:01

an I kid, medicine. Double whammy assholes. All

55:03

right, I'm going... I'm on the old mate

55:05

side. I respect it. Fingers.

55:12

Hi Lou and Josh. I've got an

55:14

MI the asshole story. So when

55:17

I was in grade seven, the

55:20

teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet and

55:22

she wanted me to finish my

55:24

work. I was saying absolutely fucking not. I was

55:26

not going to finish that work even if my

55:29

life depended on it. So I pissed

55:31

in the chair. Keep

55:33

pissing. I definitely did piss. Bedwars for

55:36

life. Yeah, MI the asshole. Let me know. We

55:38

go bye bye. Love you too. She's absolutely not

55:40

the asshole. Louisa. The teacher's

55:42

the asshole for not letting her go pee. Good

55:45

on her. Wait,

55:47

so she needed to go to the bathroom. Yeah.

55:51

The teacher just didn't tell her to finish her work

55:53

and she's like fuck that, I'm pissing. No.

55:56

She had to go to the bar. I missed that beat. Were

55:58

you listening? Yes. I just

56:00

miss that bit. I agree. I

56:02

think the teacher's the asshole. You got a pee, you

56:04

got a pee. Good honor for

56:06

standing around and pissing in her seat, I say. You

56:09

are one of the great, keep pissing, mate. You're one of

56:11

the great seat-witters. It was always

56:13

a strange phenomenon. You had to

56:15

ask to go to the bathroom. And them not let

56:17

you. Well, I still sometimes ask to go to the

56:19

bathroom. Literally like a child. Sometimes you

56:21

put your hand up. But isn't that a weird thing

56:24

where you're like, sir, could I go to the bathroom?

56:26

And you're like, nah. You're like, what the

56:28

fuck, bro? Bizarre.

56:30

Just sex where you want. Well,

56:34

within reason. We're not promoting

56:36

public urination. Just

56:39

personal, and your public. Private, I

56:41

swear. Keep it friendly, piss

56:43

your bit. Keep it friendly,

56:45

piss all through your bit. Piss

56:48

in your own garden. Pardon. Please

56:50

pardon. Now, yeah, I agree with you, dul.

56:52

I love what you've done. I think we

56:54

both do. Pretty wild fucking

56:56

response, but I fucking respect it. Good

56:59

on you. Teach

57:01

the asshole. Could have been the

57:04

asshole at school. Was

57:06

at a boarding school in Sydney.

57:09

And the big 1.2 kilo Milo

57:11

tins, me and a mate when we were in

57:13

year 12, may

57:15

have shit in them, and

57:18

then put them back in the kitchen, then

57:20

walk back in and pretend that we just

57:22

found it, and put the whole

57:24

boarding house on parade until someone

57:27

owned up, and they would stand there until

57:29

all the hours of the morning. Yep.

57:33

Do you own up? Don't think with us, although. Ciao.

57:37

Did you own up? I don't think he owned up. I

57:39

don't think he owned up. No, because they win, see, look

57:41

what we found. Zaya, you are 100%

57:43

the asshole. Imagine the

57:45

shit covered Milo. Ugh. Oh

57:49

my God. That is so itch, Jut.

57:52

A shit covered Milo. You know how people

57:54

make bliss balls, and they

57:56

roll them in coconut? That's like, ugh.

57:58

It's a more like, I don't know. I mean it is do

58:00

you get it is a milo covered shit not

58:03

a shit covered milo but I just I'm

58:05

sorry you're wrong you were I

58:07

was patrolling the beach and I've patrolled

58:09

too hard again and I do know

58:11

you know what that one I will

58:13

allow it flipped through the keeper thank

58:15

you my brains the keeper but anymore

58:18

I will have

58:20

to come over there and tell you who's boss that's fair

58:22

and I am you are boss in this situation you can

58:24

so can I get some straight as well they've both shit

58:32

in the Milo T yeah double shmanny brother

58:35

double shit double whammy double

58:38

shmanny double shmanny run

58:40

me through that you are both yeah

58:43

look there is no one else that's

58:46

a wall that's why you actually had to call up and

58:48

ask that fucking question you both your

58:50

house why would you even bother you know

58:52

you're the asshole especially not on it up it's

58:55

hilarious that you've gone in that avengers

58:57

symbol on your headphones Willie fuck

59:03

what is that skull candy oh is

59:05

that or no audio technica I can't

59:07

remember okay it just

59:09

looked like an event you weren't listening to the

59:11

last part why now you're looking around the

59:13

room like looking for others saying Nick

59:16

club please that was one of the

59:18

great ad moment well you

59:20

got to get your test man you're the asshole for shooting in

59:23

a teen mate fucking making everyone do

59:25

it as well you'd let tops gonna die

59:27

Willie hi my hi daddy

59:29

hey what's up my am I the

59:31

asshole story from high school I did

59:35

ancient history when I was in year 11 and

59:37

12 and there was a Europe trip organized

59:40

and there was only a certain amount of spaces

59:43

and I absolutely hated one of the

59:45

girls in my class and

59:47

she expressed interest in going on

59:50

the Europe trip and said that she was going to call

59:52

her father when she got home

59:54

from school and see if he would fund her

59:56

trip so I walked out of course

1:00:00

class and called my father who

1:00:02

said yes and I got to walk into

1:00:04

the class and tell her that the last spot

1:00:07

was filled and yes I was the asshole

1:00:09

and yes I was proud of it. Anyway

1:00:11

it's be good Josh and Laura

1:00:14

I'll fucking keep pissing cunts.

1:00:19

You've answered it for us. What?

1:00:23

I really need to... we needed to

1:00:25

vulture... what the fuck was her issue

1:00:27

with this bird? Yeah that's what

1:00:29

we don't get much of the details do we? No

1:00:33

we don't. But high school beef comes

1:00:35

from anything like the smallest

1:00:37

issues. Yeah it truly does. Look

1:00:42

that's like a more of a fancy I'm

1:00:44

other asshole. Yeah. Did you ever go on

1:00:46

overseas trips at high school? There was a

1:00:48

big one in year eight. Oh yes you

1:00:51

did. Did I say the Fiji one and

1:00:53

we couldn't afford it and I was so

1:00:55

fucking embarrassed. You were clicking that bottle in

1:00:57

your microphone. Sorry. You went to uni Scotland.

1:01:00

I went to school in Scotland for

1:01:02

three months. Was that at university? No

1:01:05

at school. Yeah I never did an

1:01:07

overseas one for school. Yeah

1:01:09

it was mad I got three months over there. Fucking

1:01:12

deadly. That's cool. It was the coolest thing

1:01:14

ever. I loved it. But that's fucking... yeah

1:01:17

fuck that was the best time I lost. Have you

1:01:19

got any more willy or that's it? That's it.

1:01:21

Loved all of those. You were definitely the asshole

1:01:23

darling. I think you know that. A posh jeeves

1:01:25

asshole. Yeah I love that you could just call

1:01:27

your dad and just be like yeah

1:01:30

dude impromptu euro trip you're gonna pay for

1:01:32

this bitch or not. He's like yeah and

1:01:34

you're like fuck you bitch. I'm going. You

1:01:37

were the asshole. Well thank you guys

1:01:40

for all your... what's

1:01:43

the word? Am I the asshole yarn?

1:01:45

Submissions. There we go. But even though

1:01:47

we are calling you assholes and we

1:01:49

are determining who the actual asshole is

1:01:51

in this situation I'd also like

1:01:53

to remind everyone there's a bit of asshole in

1:01:55

all of it. Oh we're all assholes so don't

1:01:58

feel bad. Don't feel bad at all. I

1:02:00

wouldn't and make sure you watch heartbreak high

1:02:02

now I'm totally on Netflix.

1:02:04

It is fucking grouse We're

1:02:07

also gonna pick one of the best Was

1:02:09

I the asshole yarns and judge and I'm gonna make

1:02:12

a little video of it Yeah, which will

1:02:14

be out on social media very soon. Yep, so

1:02:16

we're gonna choose We're gonna determine which was the

1:02:18

best yarn out of the well You guys are

1:02:20

basically polling which of the best yarns the one

1:02:22

that polls the highest out of all four that

1:02:24

we choose We are then

1:02:26

gonna reenact that yarn with a little

1:02:28

skit And

1:02:31

I like it. So think about the sort of

1:02:33

skit you'll want to see us make I know

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what's happening and vote what the Milo

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shit We'll

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see though who knows Thank you,

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sweet little beard whether thanks for sticking around fucking

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sweet little send your readers. Sorry. That was

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there were a few tough moments in there

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You know what? I disagree. I think that was

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a fun podcast Well, you know, it's gonna be

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even funner if you're on the patreon because we're

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