0:00

I turned in and I spiraled

0:02

and my thoughts turned dark . And

0:05

then I'm thinking how in the world am I

0:07

going to raise this child if I'm struggling

0:09

even just to make it through the day ?

0:19

Hey everybody and welcome back to Wednesdays

0:21

with Watson . We are so excited that you

0:23

have decided to join us for another podcast

0:25

. Guys , we are barreling into

0:27

April of 2024 . And

0:29

for any of you people out there who have been listening

0:31

to the podcast for any amount of time , you

0:34

know that we have some fun in April because it

0:36

is all things children , it

0:38

is Child Abuse Awareness Month and it is also

0:41

April is National

0:43

Autism Acceptance Month . And

0:45

while I did not have my guest

0:48

on for March , she was not

0:50

on my bingo card for March , it was more like July

0:52

. So here we are , y'all , where we

0:54

are dropping this episode in March . So this

0:56

we have with us here today . Author

0:58

Rachel Scott McDaniel , and

1:00

I will introduce her in just a second , but before

1:03

that I have a very special treat for you

1:05

the all-elusive , sometimes

1:08

co-host , chrissy Lothridge . Chrissy , welcome

1:11

.

1:11

I'm so happy to be here .

1:13

Well , everybody always loves it when you come , and Rachel

1:15

is a dear friend of both of ours

1:17

, and so , rachel , it is your

1:19

turn . Welcome to the Wednesdays with Watson podcast

1:22

. We have tried to schedule this lots

1:24

of times but

1:32

welcome .

1:32

Thank you . I'm so happy to finally finally be on here with two of my favorite

1:35

people discussing Jesus and autism and everything in between

1:37

.

1:38

Well , thank you for doing that . We are so excited

1:40

. And so , as Rachel mentioned , she

1:43

is here to talk to us in

1:45

our series on trauma

1:47

and faith , understanding that

1:50

when I use that word trauma , I mean dark times

1:52

too . And so Rachel is here today

1:54

to tell us a little story of her journey

1:57

with her daughter with autism

1:59

, and so we're just going to jump right in

2:01

. So , rachel , like I said

2:03

, you were going to be on in July

2:05

and that was when we had

2:07

we were in summer and Psalms , and

2:10

at that point you had told me

2:12

that your favorite Psalm

2:14

was Psalm 34 . And so

2:16

my first question is to you

2:18

, before we get into your story , is

2:20

what about that Psalm

2:23

is your favorite ?

2:26

Oh , there's just so much packed

2:28

into those 22

2:30

verses . It talks about

2:32

the goodness of God , experiencing

2:35

the goodness of God for yourself . But

2:38

one verse that's always stuck

2:40

out to me is Psalm

2:42

34 , verse three , where it says oh

2:44

, magnify the Lord with me and let

2:46

us exalt his name together . And

2:49

that always hit me because

2:51

God can't be any bigger

2:53

, like in essence

2:56

, than he already is . You know , he

2:58

is not expanding , but he can expand

3:00

to us , he can . And

3:02

it also raises the question

3:05

what are we magnifying in

3:07

our lives ? And I

3:09

always thought of the story of

3:12

David and Goliath , the Israelites

3:14

. They were magnifying

3:16

. How big Goliath was that . There

3:18

was no way that

3:20

they'd be able to conquer

3:23

such a giant . And David was

3:25

magnifying God , and there was no

3:27

way that something could

3:29

be as big as God to him . And so

3:31

and for me it

3:33

just it's all about perspective

3:36

and at the end of the day

3:38

, that's what really matters is how we view things

3:40

, how we see things and making

3:42

sure God keeping the main thing

3:44

, the main thing .

3:47

I love that . It's so cool to hear

3:49

somebody answer a question like that and know

3:51

that , like you live your

3:53

life , like you believe that verse . And , chrissy

3:55

, wouldn't you agree like especially during some of the things

3:57

that that we went through late

3:59

last year that Rachel was always

4:02

bringing in that new

4:04

perspective , that different perspective

4:06

, when we were walking through something as difficult as we were

4:08

?

4:09

Yeah , absolutely . It really resonates that

4:11

just keeping the main thing , the main thing and remembering

4:13

that this life is finite

4:16

and with an eternity

4:19

perspective and a God perspective

4:21

of how he's just , he's big

4:24

, he's huge and eternity

4:26

is so vast and we get caught up

4:28

in the moment in

4:31

our lives and we forget how

4:33

big God is and

4:35

that this life is short and just

4:38

keeping that perspective , I think

4:40

, is so important .

4:42

Yeah , I couldn't agree more . And , rachel , really

4:45

publicly , I would love to say to you

4:47

like when we were going through all of that

4:49

late last year , the text

4:51

messages , your perspective to us was

4:53

always God is good and pushing us

4:55

into Jesus , and I can't

4:57

tell you how badly

5:00

I know that I needed that and

5:02

so I love the magnification

5:05

, especially when the story

5:07

of our lives can threaten

5:09

to be , or at least look like

5:12

it is , so much bigger than

5:14

that . God Right , absolutely

5:17

.

5:17

Yeah .

5:19

And so the next question I'm asking everybody , and

5:21

I'm actually going to ask both of you this

5:23

question . So , chrissy , you'll get a second , so you

5:25

get a little , a little second to think about it . So

5:27

this season we're talking about faith and

5:29

trauma . I want to know why

5:32

how people hold on

5:34

to their faith during dark and difficult

5:36

times . And I'm not saying what you're going to share with us today

5:38

necessarily falls under what the

5:40

professionals would call trauma , but

5:43

probably . But this season

5:45

is about faith and trauma , and so

5:47

I am really loving hearing everybody's

5:49

answer on this next question .

5:58

What does faith , rachel , mean to you

6:00

? Well , honestly , but

6:02

it's also the bedrock

6:05

of who we are . It's

6:08

something that we turn to when

6:11

we encounter something that is bigger

6:13

than ourselves . You know we

6:15

are so used to being self-sufficient

6:18

and in this day and age

6:20

, you know we're able to do treatments , so

6:22

many things by ourselves , and

6:24

but when there's things that you encounter

6:27

that you

6:30

don't have an answer for or

6:32

you don't have the resources within yourself

6:35

and your own humanity

6:37

or frailness , you know , when you encounter

6:39

something like that or something like that , it's

6:41

so important to have

6:44

that knowledge that

6:46

you're not alone and that

6:48

hope . I read

6:50

once that , actually , that the word hope in the

6:53

Bible means expectation . We

6:59

can expect God to walk alongside us and be with us and

7:01

that , right , there is just a huge comfort

7:03

knowing that you're not facing this by

7:06

yourself . It's

7:09

really important , and that's what faith

7:11

means to me in that regard .

7:13

That answer gave me chills . A lot of them

7:16

have , but that answer gave me chills . Chrissy

7:18

, how about you ? What does faith mean to you ?

7:21

I think that's a really great way of saying

7:23

it , that it's the fabric . Because it

7:25

is , it feels like it's

7:28

that backbone of when

7:31

things are hard . Where are we

7:33

turning ? Are we turning in anger

7:35

toward God how dare you do this to

7:37

me ? Or leaning back into that fabric

7:40

that has been built ? That

7:47

has been built . Fabric takes a lot of pieces of string to put together , woven in there , and

7:49

I think if you've built a life of faith , that that's where you'll

7:51

lean into . And I do

7:53

think that in the hard times

7:56

I feel like it's often

7:58

that we either go sort of

8:00

violently one way or the other of

8:08

violently one way or the other , and I can see validly

8:10

why people get very angry with God and walk away . But at the same time I found

8:12

my faith growing in the heart

8:14

because perhaps because

8:17

of that , because of that faith being the

8:19

fabric behind me , but I'm

8:22

more sure of the Lord . I'm not

8:24

less sure , I'm more sure . And

8:27

so I guess

8:29

my encouragement to those who are going

8:32

through those really dark times is

8:34

lean into your

8:36

faith . I think you'll be surprised

8:38

at how much , like you said , hope is expectation

8:40

. You can expect that God's going

8:42

to show up and he will

8:45

. If we just take

8:47

that little mustard seed of faith , he

8:49

really shows up and yeah

8:52

, both of those answers

8:54

.

8:55

you could expect that God is going to show up

8:57

, and for a lot of people

8:59

that's problematic , like Chrissy said , like I can

9:01

see where people you could

9:03

go either direction . It does seem to

9:05

be either direction to

9:07

, from people that I talk to and hard

9:09

times it's . It's either

9:12

, like Chrissy said , it has pushed you and

9:14

it pushed people into their faith

9:16

and and they cling to it like

9:18

like it's air , because

9:20

it is quite honestly air or

9:22

they , they walk away , and so that's the

9:24

purpose of this podcast and telling stories

9:27

and sharing stories like we're going to share today

9:29

with with you , rachel and chrissy , having

9:32

walked through your own difficult times . An answer like

9:34

that is so encouraging to me

9:36

because , yeah , you can . Just

9:38

when you think of it like that

9:40

, like it's the fabric or the bedrock of

9:42

, of of who we are , then

9:45

Then we know that we're never alone

9:47

there , and so I love

9:49

both of those answers . So thank both of you . Well

9:51

, rachel , one of the reasons why

9:54

I wanted to have you on is because we

9:56

do life together as much as we

9:58

can , from Florida and Ohio . We have

10:00

a text thread with myself

10:03

, chrissy , our friend Joy and another

10:05

author , rebecca Millett , and

10:07

that has been life-giving

10:10

for me . I know Chrissy probably would

10:12

agree , but we've had

10:14

a front-row seat to watching you

10:17

live out a life

10:19

that most people would describe

10:21

as untenable , as difficult

10:24

, would

10:30

describe as untenable , as difficult . We watch you live out a life

10:32

that would really ruin marriages . We watch you live out a life where you're

10:34

raising two very different children and somehow

10:38

managing to give both of them the

10:41

attention and the love that they need the attention

10:43

, the love that they need . And so , of course , I want my listeners

10:46

to know , during

10:53

those , these dark times sometimes little dark times for you how you held on to your faith . So let's

10:56

just kind of start with the fun stuff I also love and , by the way , guys , I will

10:58

put Rachel's socials on

11:00

in the show notes , but follow her on

11:02

Instagram because she's got some really

11:04

sweet reels and I think for

11:06

a little while there Scott was helping you right

11:08

. So the reason why I bring that up is because I love

11:10

it when you post pictures of you and he . And so you

11:13

guys met pretty , pretty young

11:15

and got married . So let's start there . Let's start

11:17

talk to us about marrying Scott

11:19

, and then I know that you had Drew , and

11:21

then let's talk about Meg and let's just

11:23

go from there .

11:25

Okay . So I was raised in church and

11:28

Scott was actually my

11:30

youth pastor's son , so

11:33

you know youth group and that kind of stuff . We

11:35

always hung out . We were friends first

11:37

. There

11:44

is an age gap of six years between

11:46

us , so whenever I was 16 , he was in his 20s , so he

11:48

obviously didn't start dating them . He

11:51

waited until I was 18 to

11:54

even consider thinking

11:56

of me in that regard . So very

11:59

gentleman-like , and I always honored that . So

12:02

we started out as

12:04

really good friends , then best

12:06

friends , and then

12:08

we and things turned

12:11

real and we got

12:13

married and a few years

12:15

of marriage it's just almost like we were playing house

12:17

, you know . We never encountered any trouble

12:19

, never encountered any struggles . It was

12:21

just me and him and everything was rosy . And

12:24

then I had a miscarriage . And

12:27

then that actually hit

12:29

me really hard because

12:32

I've never experienced any kind

12:34

of loss before and

12:36

I was 22 or 23

12:38

. I was so young and

12:40

that actually

12:43

made me grow up very fast

12:45

. When I had that miscarriage

12:47

, life got real .

12:51

Can we park there just for a second Because

12:54

there are so many listeners ? Most of my

12:57

listenerships are female who

12:59

have been through miscarriages .

13:01

Right , and

13:05

a lot of it was real , because people

13:07

didn't understand . Whenever

13:09

I experienced the miscarriage

13:11

, I experienced it on every level . I

13:14

felt the loss in my body , I felt

13:16

the pain , I felt

13:18

the pain in passing the child . I felt

13:20

the , the soulish pain of

13:22

loss , like a grief . A part of me died

13:25

. And then there was that

13:27

spiritual pain of knowing , you

13:29

know , that I was separated from my

13:31

child , and so it

13:34

was . It really rocked me , you

13:36

know , and people

13:38

would say not so considerate

13:40

things as in oh , you

13:42

can just have another one , or

13:45

you know , that's really a blessing , you know , because that

13:47

means there's something wrong with your child , or

13:50

it was . I've heard it all and

13:53

so , and I was young too , so

13:55

I was 22 . And

13:57

so I think one of the most

13:59

meaningful things that people would say

14:01

to me would be I'm sorry

14:04

you went through this , or

14:09

I'm sorry you're going through this Because they didn't offer an explanation , they didn't

14:11

offer a reason , they didn't go into the whole God works in mysterious

14:14

ways thing .

14:15

They didn't throw Christian cliches at it

14:18

.

14:18

Right , exactly , exactly . And

14:20

I think it's because people are uncomfortable , because

14:23

they do not know what to say , and so they feel like

14:25

they have to fill in the silence . And you do not have to do

14:27

that . Sometimes silence

14:29

is okay , and

14:32

it's okay just to sit there

14:34

with your friend or with your family member and

14:36

just be like I don't understand what

14:38

you're going through , but I'm here for you .

14:40

And I'm glad you said that , because we

14:43

do feel like we need to anytime something

14:45

difficult happens we need to fill in the silence

14:47

, and some of the kindest things

14:49

people can say to you is I'm sorry

14:51

. I'm praying for you is

14:53

something that we say between the four of

14:55

us all the time .

14:57

Now you were young .

14:58

I remember when I was 22 , I wasn't

15:01

really really strong in my faith . You

15:04

said it rocked you . What did it

15:07

do for your faith ?

15:10

I actually going back to Chrissy's

15:12

answer . I mean , I always being

15:14

raised in church , I've always learned just to

15:17

turn to God in any kind of hard

15:19

times , and this is like one of my very first hard times

15:21

I've ever experienced and

15:23

so I would turn on worship music and

15:25

it was actually it

15:28

was during February and

15:30

February March that it happened and

15:33

I think everything was finally concluded around

15:35

Easter , and Easter just meant

15:37

so much more to me because

15:39

of the new life and knowing that

15:41

I had a child in heaven and

15:44

just the realization of the resurrection

15:46

and everything was just

15:48

so much more vivid

15:51

to me because I experienced

15:53

that loss and so honestly

15:56

like I can understand what Chrissy said the faith grew

15:58

. So actually my faith grew

16:00

during that time , even

16:03

though everything about me was aching

16:05

but that can't

16:07

really be said for the second

16:09

part when I

16:11

found out about my second child being

16:14

diagnosed autistic .

16:16

Talk to us about that . So you have a son

16:18

, drew , my rainbow

16:20

baby . Yes , drew is your rainbow

16:23

baby and he is a senior this year , right ?

16:28

Oh , yes , I don't know how we got there .

16:30

Um . So so you drew

16:32

, comes , and then life

16:35

changes , right , right

16:37

.

16:39

Yes , so I have my

16:41

son and Meg

16:43

. I find out about Meg . She was

16:45

a surprise Blessing

16:49

. Drew was only about . He

16:51

was only like seven months old when

16:54

I found out that I was

16:56

pregnant with Megan . Yes

16:59

, so you could imagine I'm 23

17:01

.

17:01

That is quite the surprise , holy moly

17:03

. We thought they were close in age , but we didn't

17:05

know .

17:06

Oh , they were close . I did cry

17:08

and so , because I was just like , how

17:11

am I going to do this ? I'm 23 years

17:13

old , I have or 23 or 24 years old

17:15

, I have a seven month old kid another one

17:17

on the way , but it worked out , and

17:20

she came in

17:22

2007 , in July , and

17:25

then we were just like the little family

17:27

you know , the mom and dad

17:29

and the son and daughter . We had this sweet

17:31

, cute little house in this charming neighborhood

17:34

. So we were , we were living the dream

17:36

. You know , the only thing we didn't have was a dog . So

17:39

I , just I was back

17:41

. I got my fairy tale back , I got my

17:43

, you know , I was playing house again

17:45

. I was the mom , you know , and

17:47

then I started noticing

17:49

that Megan

17:52

wasn't responding to me the

17:54

way Drew was whenever he was her

17:57

age . She wasn't talking , she

17:59

wasn't looking at me in the eyes , and

18:02

so I I

18:05

had a suspicion , and

18:07

so we took her to to

18:10

the doctor and she was diagnosed

18:13

on the autism spectrum . And

18:15

this shook me

18:17

. I felt like I was blindsided . I

18:20

never and like I felt like I was blindsided

18:22

with the miscarriage . It was

18:25

I don't know why , but it just

18:27

felt like a hundred times more and

18:30

all of a sudden I'm

18:32

thinking what am I going to do ? How

18:34

am I going to ? I felt so

18:36

inadequate . I felt so I'm 24

18:38

years , 23 , 24 years old I'm

18:40

actually around this time , I'm about 25 . So I'm

18:43

still young and I'm like how

18:47

am I ? I hit rock bottom . I would

18:50

love to say that

18:52

I was just Miss Faith Woman

18:54

, but I was not . I

18:57

turned in and I spiraled

18:59

and my thoughts turned dark . And

19:01

then I'm thinking how in the world am I

19:03

going to raise this child if I'm struggling

19:05

even just to make it through the day ? And

19:08

depression hit and

19:10

it just seemed like I was

19:13

grappling just to even exist . And

19:15

then to go back to what we first

19:17

started talking about in

19:20

Psalm I magnified autism

19:22

. It was so big to me , like

19:24

it was booming . You know

19:27

big light screaming

19:29

in my ear and Jesus

19:32

was just like a whisper . I'll never

19:34

be forsaken .

19:35

Real small .

19:36

Everything else was just huge and it

19:38

was just , like I said , so magnified and in

19:40

a way I exalted it by

19:42

putting it above everything I've ever

19:45

really even . You know , there's a time , you

19:47

know , when you say do

19:49

I just know this or do

19:51

I believe it ? There's a big

19:54

difference between what you

19:56

think and what you actually

19:58

believe . And when you encounter

20:00

these life mountains

20:03

you are

20:06

right now testing do

20:08

I know this or do I believe this

20:10

? And so I

20:13

really just dug into

20:15

scripture and

20:22

I actually , like I carried my Bible with me all the time . I even

20:24

like I don't even know if I even told anyone . I

20:26

just needed Jesus so much that

20:28

I even clung to my Bible even when I was falling

20:30

asleep , because it's just like

20:33

I needed a physical token that

20:35

he was there , even though I knew it , even

20:38

though I believed it , and I would say it over and over

20:40

and I would , you know , and

20:42

slowly . It didn't

20:44

happen fast , it wasn't an overnight

20:46

. You know , all of a sudden , I'm

20:49

space woman . It did not work that way . It

20:51

was slow and

20:55

like , why ? Why that mustard seed ? You know

20:57

, it's so small but it's powerful

20:59

, but it grows , and then

21:01

it grows , and then it grows . And then Jesus

21:03

made the thing about . It's this towering tree

21:06

that birds make their nests in , but

21:08

that did not happen overnight .

21:11

I appreciate your candor when you

21:13

got the diagnosis with Meg and

21:15

you hit rock bottom . Talk

21:18

to us about that bridge , though , because

21:20

I think that is so true . They

21:22

say that the longest 10 inches in the

21:24

world is between your head and

21:26

your heart . How did you go from

21:29

? The world is ending autism

21:31

was bigger than everything , to

21:34

that first little step to faith , to

21:36

where you were holding the Bible and holding the

21:39

token . What's that bridge like

21:41

?

21:41

bridge , like , okay , everything's

21:43

screaming against you , you have thoughts

21:46

bombarding you . What are you going to do now ? How

21:48

are you going to do this ? How are you going to survive this ? What are you going to

21:50

? You know you can't escape it

21:52

. I mean , like when you , when you're sitting in a room and you have

21:54

the tv on , you can turn the tv off and you

21:56

can , you know , sit in silence , but

21:59

your mind will scream . Everything

22:02

, every part of your senses

22:05

is screaming

22:07

. Everything's the opposite . Like where

22:10

I was sitting , everything was opposite of

22:12

what I've always been taught , you know . And

22:15

so I had to

22:17

make a choice . I didn't feel the choice

22:19

. I didn't have goosebumps . I

22:21

didn't feel the choice . I didn't have goosebumps , I didn't have scriptures

22:23

jumping out at me , I didn't have

22:25

anything . I just

22:28

had what was said

22:30

in the word and

22:32

I had to come to the point where I

22:34

trusted the word

22:37

over my own feelings , over my own

22:39

thoughts , over my own situation

22:41

. And that is probably the

22:43

biggest battle , because everything

22:45

in you is telling you the opposite . And

22:48

there's nothing , there's

22:50

no sensation , there's no aha

22:53

moment . Yeah , yeah , there's no

22:55

, nothing tangible . And

22:57

that's what faith is . And , amy

22:59

, you were talking about the air . You know there's nothing

23:01

tangible , you have to step out , despite

23:04

the feelings , despite the thoughts

23:07

just screaming at you , which means you can just

23:09

rip off your head and throw it across the room . You know

23:11

, and I came to the

23:13

point where I actually had to force myself

23:15

to think a

23:17

scripture . I just took one scripture I honestly

23:19

can't even remember it right now as I'm thinking about it and

23:22

I actually had to , like force my

23:24

mind to think . I think it was greater is he who is

23:26

in me I think it was something like that , and I

23:28

sometimes I even had to tap my head greater

23:30

is he who is in me than he that's

23:32

in the world . I actually had to

23:34

force myself because everything else was so

23:37

loud , and then it got

23:39

easier , and then it got easier

23:41

and then it got easier . You know , but

23:43

that very first choice

23:46

wasn't . It was a choice , it

23:48

wasn't based on feelings . See , that's one

23:50

of the things . That's just like you walk by faith

23:52

and not by sight . What is sight ? It's a

23:54

sense , it's your senses . You

23:57

know , there's two things . You know , like

23:59

what I said is it something that you know or is it something

24:01

that you believe ? And then , so

24:03

I actually had to , like , make a choice and

24:05

walk it , take the step .

24:08

It's that daily walking , and it is . You

24:10

don't even realize that there's a change . The

24:18

voices feel just as loud , but it's every day . They get just

24:20

a little bit softer and the Lord gets louder and louder , you know

24:22

, but you don't notice it until much later . It's like , oh

24:25

, my goodness , this is on

24:27

a complete 180 . And

24:29

it's that initial choice that

24:31

one choice . And yeah , you don't

24:34

hear big , you know angels singing

24:36

. It's

24:38

just a choice . And then it's another choice

24:40

and another choice and eventually

24:42

it takes that mustard seed and it grows

24:45

.

24:46

I love that . I love it's

24:48

a choice . It's a choice , it's a choice

24:50

and I know going through

24:52

my stuff that

24:55

that choice can sometimes

24:57

be every 30

24:59

seconds . It could be every minute .

25:01

I love that . I love that , Rachel .

25:02

Actually , nobody

25:07

can see us . We're on Zoom and we're on an audio platform , but just tapping your head with

25:09

the truth of the gospel , greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world Because

25:12

the lies are so loud . Right

25:14

, we serve a God who

25:17

is not unfamiliar with our sufferings

25:19

, but we also have an enemy that wants to take us down

25:22

. And there's a song that I love so much by an

25:24

old worship leader that we had , and the lyric

25:26

goes something like this when the lies

25:28

are loud , let the gospel drown

25:31

them out . And I think your

25:33

point to making little decisions

25:35

every day to trust

25:37

him and sometimes falling down

25:39

on that right , Sometimes completely forgetting

25:42

everything that we know in our heads that

25:44

I will never leave you or forsake you . I will be

25:46

with you . And when Rebecca was on the podcast

25:49

, one of her favorite songs is Psalm 43

25:51

. And all of those , through

25:54

the water , through the fire , through all of it , I will be

25:56

with you . But we have to and

25:58

this is something that Chrissy and I talk about a lot

26:00

in the mental health field , because

26:03

it's frustrating when you see people

26:06

not making choices that can

26:08

make them better and

26:10

so that choice every single

26:13

day to believe in

26:15

the God of the universe and that he had ordered

26:17

this Right .

26:19

I think mental health is huge in regards

26:22

to when you encounter

26:24

something Like we were talking about perspective

26:26

earlier . You can't just let your

26:28

mind sit on

26:30

the darkness and people will

26:33

be like , well , I can't help it . You know it's

26:35

right there , it's right in front of me . Yes , I know , I've

26:37

been there . I know it's right in front of you , staring

26:39

at you , screaming at you , jumping up and down and waving

26:41

at you . You know Like that's when Peter started

26:43

to slip because he looked at the wind and

26:45

the waves . You know it was screaming

26:48

at him . He took his eyes off of Jesus and

26:51

sometimes you just have

26:53

to like we were talking . You have to force

26:55

your mind on it or else you're

26:57

going to spiral and you have to . You

27:00

have to be like the gatekeeper of your own mind . You

27:02

know you have to be like the gatekeeper of your own mind . You know

27:04

you have to make sure the thoughts whatever's pure , whatever's

27:06

lovely , whatever's admirable , whatever's praiseworthy

27:09

think on these things . You

27:11

know it's not just something that we hang on our walls

27:13

. Mental health is so important . What goes on between

27:15

your ears is going

27:17

to affect your attitude

27:20

, your mood , your faith , everything

27:22

around you . And so perspective is

27:24

used and I just don't think this is talked about

27:26

as much as it should be within

27:28

the church about mental health

27:30

and focusing

27:32

on the good . And

27:35

yes , life

27:37

is terrible , sometimes it's awful , it's

27:39

dark , but by

27:42

choosing to focus on the good , you have

27:44

your salvation , you have the hope of

27:46

heaven . And by choosing to focus

27:48

on a light instead of the dark , you

27:51

know , it says the entrance of this word give a light

27:53

. You know , are you giving his word entrance

27:55

or are you giving other things entrance

27:57

? And that makes all , at the end of the day , that makes

28:00

all the difference .

28:01

It's so funny that you referenced that verse in Philippians

28:03

4 , because I wrote it down as you were talking

28:05

, because I do think that

28:08

so much of the battle is

28:10

in our head . That's Satan's

28:12

playground and there are

28:14

some legitimate , there are plenty of

28:17

legitimate , severe mental illnesses

28:19

. There's people like me who have PTSD

28:21

, or there's people that

28:23

have anxiety and all the things , but that doesn't

28:26

. That doesn't release us

28:28

from the God of the universe , nor does it release us

28:30

from the responsibility of obeying the God

28:32

of the universe .

28:34

I totally agree with that . You know

28:37

, ptsd is a real thing , autism is a real

28:39

thing , anxiety it's a real thing

28:41

. But , like you said

28:43

, we can't use that as a crutch and

28:48

I don't want to say the word excuse because I don't want to make light of it

28:50

. Like I said , it all goes down to

28:52

magnify the Lord with me

28:54

, make him bigger than

28:57

the diagnosis of autism , make him bigger

28:59

than the

29:01

ache from the miscarriage , make him bigger

29:03

than financial woes . And

29:05

it's just , and it doesn't mean our

29:07

problem is just going to like magically poof and go away

29:09

no , it's not , but it's going to . Like

29:11

Tracy said , it's going to strengthen your . It can

29:14

strengthen that backbone .

29:15

I mean , I'm just going to be hearing make him bigger

29:17

, make him bigger , make him bigger . Because

29:20

, wow , right

29:22

, if

29:24

we were to sit down and write the things that we're worried about , the first thing that we're worried

29:27

about is going to be the biggest thing , but he's bigger

29:29

than that . And I

29:31

don't mean to sound callous and

29:33

, chrissy , you might be able to speak to this just a little bit , because

29:35

I think this is a powerful part of this interview and the power

29:37

of the choice to believe even

29:39

when it's dark . I don't mean to sound callous

29:42

when I say that that

29:44

is just the long and short of it . I

29:46

worked at the hospital . I worked at , you

29:48

know , on a psych unit , and I watched the same patients

29:50

come in over and over and over again with legitimate

29:53

, severe mental illnesses but

29:55

that , unfortunately

29:57

, they still have to make decisions

30:00

in this world that are

30:02

going to move them forward . And instead

30:04

, so oftentimes we get stuck in our pain

30:06

and even in our severe mental illness , and

30:09

we forget to magnify , we forget

30:11

to talk about who the star

30:13

of the story is . We talk about in this podcast all the time

30:15

, but , chrissy , you always have shared

30:17

with me when I get discouraged about

30:19

my own life . That about

30:22

this power of choice . I would love for

30:25

you to share with the listeners your

30:27

take on that for a second .

30:29

Yeah , I mean , I do think that the

30:31

choice whether by

30:33

every day it may be every hour

30:36

I mean that is the

30:38

gift that God gave us . We

30:40

have free will , right , we

30:42

have the ability to make a choice

30:45

, and he's allowed us that , and

30:47

now it's our turn to make

30:49

those choices . I

30:51

wish that every time we made

30:53

a good choice we got a big hallelujah

30:56

chorus and it was an obvious . That

30:59

was the right choice . Most days

31:01

I'm saying

31:03

, okay , lord , I think I'm

31:05

going to go this way . But if I'm going the wrong

31:08

way , I need like a big red light

31:10

that says don't go this way . I'm

31:12

honestly all I want to do is follow

31:14

you , lord . But half the days I

31:17

question myself whether

31:19

or not I'm making the right choice . But I think that

31:21

the heart whether or not I'm making the right choice , but I think that the heart one of

31:23

my favorite things is that God

31:25

loved the heart of David , and

31:27

I think you know when

31:32

I get stuck in oh my gosh , is that the right

31:34

choice or the wrong choice ? The right choice or the wrong choice ? And at

31:37

the end of the day , if my heart is

31:39

Lord , I honestly just want to follow you . Which

31:42

way is that I'm going to go this way . If

31:45

I'm wrong , show me he will

31:47

. Again , we can trust him that

31:49

he's going to show up and that he will tell

31:51

us if we're going the wrong way . It sets me

31:53

free to know that

31:55

God is looking at our hearts and

31:58

that , again , there's

32:00

no thing that we can do that he can't fix

32:03

, that he doesn't know that we're

32:05

going to take a left turn when we should take

32:07

a right turn . I can get so

32:10

caught up in , even in

32:12

the choices of well , what if

32:14

that's the wrong choice ? What if it's the wrong choice ? That

32:16

I'll make no choice . The

32:18

key here is pray , ask

32:21

the Lord for guidance , make a choice .

32:23

Yeah , and again , we're not trying to be callous

32:26

we understand that sometimes

32:28

it is literally the

32:31

most painful choice you

32:34

will ever make

32:37

is to choose Jesus

32:40

, choose the

32:42

sovereign God of the universe that

32:44

allowed the suffering your suffering

32:47

, chrissy , my suffering , rachel , yours

32:49

, meg , scott's . He allowed

32:51

it and so for so

32:53

many people , that actually is a crisis

32:56

of faith or we can

32:58

allow it to push us into our faith , it to push

33:00

us in to our faith . So Rachel Meg

33:02

is 16 , 17 at the

33:04

time of this recording . It

33:07

didn't stop when she got diagnosed with autism

33:09

. Right , it was probably even and

33:16

you can correct me if I'm wrong , because we are honoring and trying to bring awareness

33:18

to autism but it might have been a little bit easier when she was younger

33:20

than it is now . Maybe you can speak to that

33:22

, but talk to us about that journey . So you

33:24

settle in , you have Drew

33:26

, who is only 16 months

33:29

apart , and you

33:31

have Meg , who you recognize

33:33

. Something's up , she gets diagnosed

33:35

. You have this really dark

33:37

night of the soul . Make

33:40

God bigger than it all , and I just think of that

33:42

. I don't know who said it in one

33:44

of the gospels , but , sir , we

33:47

would see Jesus . And

33:49

that's what you did ? You made it bigger than autism

33:52

. You made Jesus bigger than autism . You made

33:54

him the star of the story . But

33:56

for those listening out there and a lot of people will hit play

33:58

on this because they have an autistic child or somebody

34:00

or a child on the spectrum- Talk

34:08

to us about life after she was diagnosed , all the way up until now .

34:10

My husband and I talk about this a lot because we actually I think we were just talking about this

34:12

last week we said , well , would we even be this

34:14

mature , this selfless

34:16

, how do we not experience

34:19

mixed diagnosis ? And we don't

34:21

think so . Experienced

34:25

makes diagnosis and we don't think so . I'm not saying that we're grateful for the diagnosis

34:27

, but there is good that can come out of

34:29

walking through this journey

34:32

and seeing the value in

34:35

. She wasn't even ever supposed to talk

34:37

and now she does . She can communicate

34:39

, and it helped us value

34:41

the little things , celebrate

34:44

the small victories and

34:46

just hold on to hope

34:48

. And

34:54

I think every stage has had its moments , because now she can

34:56

talk a lot better than she did whenever she

34:58

was younger and she

35:00

can do things a little bit

35:02

more independently than she had

35:05

. I mean , it took a while , but there's

35:07

things that we had to

35:09

go through that took

35:11

a lot longer , and personal

35:13

issues and things like that . So

35:16

every stage has its bright

35:19

lights and his dark spots , but

35:21

in regards to autism

35:25

and the journey , it

35:27

really helped us

35:29

grow as a couple . Amy

35:33

, you mentioned earlier about how these

35:35

dark moments can test relationships and

35:37

there we know of several

35:40

couples that have split

35:42

family members , that they've been divorced

35:44

because they had a child

35:46

that had

35:48

a disability . And we

35:51

determined to

35:53

grow closer and

35:55

to talk things out and to tag

35:57

team and whenever I was struggling

36:00

, he would step up . Whenever he was struggling , he

36:02

would step up . Whenever he was struggling

36:04

, I'd step up and

36:06

we grew as

36:09

a couple . We grew our

36:11

relationship and we knew

36:13

we had each other's back and we know we have

36:15

each other's back . And that is just so

36:17

crucial because if you have , when you have a child

36:19

that has a disability , like

36:22

I said , so many things scream at you , they're

36:24

, there are so much limitation

36:27

and how you

36:29

viewed your life , that was whenever

36:31

you said I do look

36:34

so different from when you were standing

36:36

there at the altar to whenever

36:38

it's three in the morning and you're

36:40

at your wit's end . You know

36:42

this is , this is the time whenever

36:45

you , is

36:48

it better or worse ? You know sometimes it's

36:50

a lot of work . You know and

36:52

that's when you have to you

36:54

cling to God and you cling

36:57

to each other and you help each other through

36:59

. And then I've noticed , um

37:01

, when we go through these dark

37:04

times 3 am or this is what we

37:06

call it that our

37:08

relationship would actually , you know , would elevate

37:11

. You know I can't really put it into words

37:13

, it's just , it's a beautiful thing

37:15

in a way is , like I said , are we excited

37:18

about the 3am moments ? Absolutely not

37:20

, but there's

37:22

a resiliency there and there's that knowledge that

37:24

God's with us and we have each other

37:26

. It's like that . That burst of triple rated

37:29

cord is not easily broken .

37:32

Yeah , wow , I love that , and

37:34

it's funny because , on the

37:36

aforementioned group text that

37:38

we have , we could pick up your phone

37:41

at any given time on that thread and

37:43

have literally 185

37:45

notifications . My

37:48

favorite , though , is it

37:51

shouldn't be my favorite . I'm not . I'm not rejoicing in your suffering , but I'm

37:53

. I have . I'm headed towards a point . My favorite

37:56

is Rachel will pick up

37:58

, you know , the next day at five

38:00

o'clock in the afternoon , and this is where

38:02

I'm not laughing . You're like sorry guys

38:04

, meg didn't even go to sleep until 10m , so I've

38:06

been sleeping , and so what does that

38:09

look like for you ? I would love to know

38:11

some of the things that the Lord shares

38:13

with you in the middle

38:16

of the night , when you can't get her calm

38:18

, or prayers that you

38:20

pray Again . The purpose of this podcast is

38:22

to show people that you can have faith in

38:24

the hard , but also some practical Right

38:27

and , and so you oftentimes

38:29

will text us and be like sorry y'all . I went to sleep at

38:31

10am and now I'm awake because Meg

38:34

struggles with her nights and days

38:36

and things of that nature . What

38:38

are some conversations or

38:40

messages that you've gotten from Jesus in

38:43

the literal dark ?

38:45

Oh , okay . So honestly

38:48

, those seasons of when she

38:50

hadn't been sleeping would crazily

38:53

come during times where I

38:55

was on a deadline for writing . I

38:57

had a , I had a novel due . I

38:59

had a novel due and

39:02

it's three , four , five

39:04

, six in the morning and I

39:07

can't even , you know , put

39:09

two words together , let alone come up with

39:11

something brilliant to

39:13

put on paper . There would be times

39:15

actually I actually not

39:17

to veer off point , but I actually started writing

39:19

as a creative outlet

39:21

. For those hours

39:24

where I'm sitting beside Meg

39:26

, it's because my husband

39:28

actually encouraged that . He was saying

39:30

you know what , because he , he helps

39:33

me on the weekends or the days that he's

39:35

off , but he has his job

39:37

, is very , he um , focused forward . He

39:39

has to be on it because he works with things , with

39:41

Exxon , and so he

39:43

has . He can't , he

39:46

can't like uh , have a brain

39:48

fog with his job . He needs to be on it . So

39:51

he encouraged me , you know

39:53

, to write , because I wrote

39:55

early on in our relationship

39:57

and he's like that might be a really

39:59

good thing for you and it was , it was . It's very

40:01

, very therapeutic for me . I would

40:03

, I could create , I could visit the 1920s

40:06

. When I'm in a dark bedroom

40:09

at three in the morning , I use

40:11

that as a launching tool

40:13

. I'm like okay , like I

40:15

said , it's perspective . I

40:17

could sit there and wallow and think

40:20

and defeat , or I can say you know

40:22

what . The house is quiet . She's

40:24

trying to go to sleep . How about I

40:27

just write a murder mystery or

40:29

whatever ? I

40:31

use a lot of my stories and , like the starlet

40:34

spy , I wrote the majority

40:36

of that between 1 am and 4

40:38

in the morning and whenever

40:40

I look back on that like I would go

40:42

to sleep and I'd wake up and I did

40:44

not even remember what I written it

40:46

was and I don really tell . I

40:48

don't know if I even said this before . I might , I don't

40:50

know . But when I look back on that book

40:53

I'm like that was a miracle book because

40:55

I 70% I had no

40:57

idea it was the the 4am

41:00

, 5am , being up all

41:02

night kind of thing . So I

41:04

would have these

41:06

moments and whenever

41:09

I'd be stuck in a story or

41:12

whatever , and in the middle of the night

41:14

while I'm sitting with Meg , it almost just would drop in my

41:16

heart . I wouldn't even be thinking about it and

41:19

it was like a light

41:21

came on and I'm like that's it , I can

41:23

fix it , and I knew that . It was almost like God

41:25

, like giving me these little gifts . You know , like

41:27

you're putting your family first , you're putting your

41:30

, you're serving you . Jesus

41:32

said the son of man didn't come to

41:35

be served but to serve and to give his

41:37

life as a ransom for many . You know you're giving

41:39

, you're giving of yourself . So here here's

41:41

a plot , here's a plot twist for you . So

41:44

I just would like to encourage

41:46

people that it says that do not become weary

41:48

in doing good , because you'll reap a harvest . You

41:50

know it's so . It's

41:53

so easy to get

41:55

fatigued and to get exhausted , and

41:58

a lot of that is perspective too . You

42:01

focus on the wrong

42:03

and you let that in and then

42:05

all of a sudden you're drained . You

42:08

have nothing to give you . Focus on the right . You

42:10

focus on the right . You focus on the light and

42:12

you know , such as I have , give

42:14

IV . You know you

42:17

, you put in and

42:19

then it comes out .

42:22

One of my favorite things about reading your books

42:24

, and reading Christian books in general

42:26

, is that you guys

42:28

, as authors , put your characters in

42:30

impossible situations . And

42:33

then for me it's

42:35

this reminder every

42:37

time I finish a book . That

42:40

was impossible and look

42:42

what God did . Hey , that was impossible

42:44

. Because inevitably

42:46

in some part of the story either it's

42:48

impossible for the romance to

42:50

work or somebody's literal life

42:53

is in danger , or whatever . It's impossible . And

42:56

then I'm reminded that it looks

42:58

impossible to me , but it's not

43:00

impossible to God . And so when

43:02

he drops those plot twists it's like hey

43:05

, it's not impossible

43:07

to me . You may have thought you wrote

43:09

yourself in a corner . It's not impossible

43:11

to me . It's just , I just love

43:13

, I love that it's for

43:16

me . I mean , I read every day , so every day I'm

43:18

reminded that what

43:20

looks impossible to me isn't to God

43:22

, and I love that it's such a good

43:24

reminder .

43:26

That is a little bit of a mic drop because you

43:29

know , like Rachel , when I'm asking you these

43:31

questions , you are you're

43:34

doing exactly what you open this podcast with

43:36

and you're like I'm magnifying him . I'm magnifying

43:38

him and I just love

43:41

how , in those

43:44

dark nights whether

43:47

it's dark outside or not but that , but

43:49

that you're writing books , and any of us

43:51

who have ever written anything knows

43:53

that you can write 15

43:55

books , and then you're on a deadline and you've never

43:57

written anything in your life and it all sucks and

43:59

all the things . And so I love

44:01

how the Lord

44:03

is redeeming this , what

44:05

some people would probably complain about , which

44:07

I've never heard you do redeeming

44:15

that time . And we're not talking you know , the cat in the hat books . We're talking , books

44:18

with deep faith , meanings , and I am so

44:20

grateful to you , rachel , that you have not

44:23

sat down on that .

44:25

And what an amazing thing . So you're

44:27

glorifying the Lord and then

44:30

all of us reading get

44:33

that same . We get blessed

44:35

. There's people across the country . They're

44:37

all getting blessed because you made

44:40

the choice to say , okay , it's

44:42

the middle of the night , but

44:44

I'm on deadline and I'm going to

44:47

. Lord , bring me something , bring me something

44:49

. I need you and

44:52

so I love that your

44:54

heart to magnify the Lord

44:56

now is blessing others

44:59

continually , you know .

45:01

Well , and the great thing about books is it's

45:04

into protruding right Like forever

45:06

and ever amen to

45:10

maturity . Right Like forever and ever Amen , and so it's . It's just

45:12

like . It's just like our God , though , to to do this Right , and

45:14

so Meg is going to be a

45:17

part of your and Scott's life . She's not leaving home

45:19

, and she's going

45:21

to be a part of your , your life forever

45:24

, and so for you to have

45:26

that sustaining faith is

45:29

remarkable to me . I'm just going to be honest

45:31

with you . It's absolutely remarkable to me . Besides

45:34

being in the word , besides your husband

45:37

, what are some other things

45:40

that help you stay in

45:42

this place of magnifying Jesus over autism

45:44

and no sleep ?

45:46

Well surrounding myself with people

45:49

that will remind me of those kind

45:51

of things , like our text thread

45:53

. Your people are so important

45:55

, who speak into you , who

45:58

you allow to speak into you . It's very important

46:00

, and even in

46:02

the career path that I've

46:04

chosen being an author , that

46:12

I've chosen being an author you know your work gets dissected and raked over the the cold

46:14

sometimes , and sometimes you have to shut off that voice too

46:16

, and so it's like I said

46:18

, it's very important who you surround

46:20

yourself with , and

46:22

like even practical things

46:25

, like making sure that you're keeping your body

46:27

moving and you're eating the right things and

46:29

you're taking care of yourself in

46:32

all regards spirit , soul

46:34

and body , because there is something

46:36

definitely to be said for self-care and

46:39

I will tell you just from , I'm at the end

46:41

of 16 weeks from being done

46:43

with coursework for my doctorate , and so

46:45

I'm beginning .

46:46

It's weird , I'm beginning to feel like I know what I'm talking

46:48

about a little bit , which is scary . But

46:50

yeah , moving your body

46:52

, getting the stress hormones out , especially

46:55

when you are lacking

46:58

sleep and on a weird schedule , and all

47:00

of that , may you know , making

47:02

sure that you are taking care of your body as the image

47:04

bearer that you are , I think , is not only

47:06

good but it's honoring to the Lord . We

47:08

talk a lot about community on this podcast and so

47:10

I'm glad that that is part of

47:13

your walking through this journey story together

47:15

is your community there

47:17

? We love being part of your community

47:19

. The Christian fiction community

47:22

in general is just a remarkably

47:25

encouraging community as a

47:27

whole . But all of

47:29

that to say , and as we round out here towards

47:31

the end , I think it's so amazing

47:34

that God has turned

47:36

these dark nights

47:38

into beautiful words . 500,000

47:41

words between how many books now ?

47:44

I think I'm on seven or eight , something like that .

47:46

Yeah , we're going to talk about your new one coming

47:48

out here in a minute , but I

47:50

mean , like I literally have chills right now because

47:53

you have taken something

47:55

. Like Joseph said , you

47:57

meant it for evil , but God meant it for good . And

48:00

so , yeah , there are nights , there

48:02

are days that I don't go to sleep until 10 AM

48:04

, but the Lord has dropped

48:06

a plot twist , or you know , and I just

48:08

I love that , I love how he is faithful in

48:10

doing that . I think that he has called

48:12

you to that you are so gifted and , guys , I will

48:14

put all . I'll put Rachel's link tree and

48:17

the comments , but if you

48:19

like , especially 1920s

48:22

romantic fiction

48:24

, that with a , with a whole lot of Jesus

48:27

in it , go for it . But

48:30

I want to ask you this question and take a deep breath before you answer me , because

48:32

it is something that I'm asking everybody

48:34

in this season , and

48:37

you guys both know how much I love music

48:39

, and Corey Asbury

48:41

came out with a song last I believe

48:43

it was last summer called Kind , and

48:45

here are the lyrics . Sometimes marriages

48:48

don't work , and

48:53

here are the lyrics . Sometimes marriages don't work , sometimes babies

48:55

die , sometimes rehab turns to relapse and we're left just asking why , for all the

48:57

prayers I've prayed , I still

48:59

wonder if he's real . And

49:01

if he is , how does he choose who

49:03

he does and doesn't

49:05

heal ? But then Corey

49:08

ends the song and on that day , in the darkest

49:10

day of history , when I look up at the cross , I

49:13

look up at Jesus and I think

49:15

that's what kindness costs

49:17

. And so , rachel , the question I have for

49:19

you is the miscarriage , meg's

49:22

diagnosis . Was God

49:24

kind to you ?

49:25

You know , in regards

49:28

to my life and my husband's

49:30

life , we grew

49:32

up Christian , we were Christian all our lives , and

49:35

so , in that

49:39

respect , people would be like , why

49:42

? And I never blame God

49:44

. I think

49:46

God is on our side , god is

49:48

for us . We can't , we

49:51

can't separate God from his word

49:53

. That's how we know who God is

49:55

is through his word . If he

49:57

says he's this , then we have to take him at his word

49:59

that he's this . I mean , that's all we have . So

50:01

I can't let experiences define

50:04

God to me . I

50:09

can't let triumph or failure define God to me . I have to only

50:11

let the word define who he is

50:13

to me , and or I can't

50:15

let feelings or the

50:18

bombarding thoughts . So

50:20

it's important to elevate

50:23

the word and let that

50:25

be the final authority regarding

50:28

your faith . And let that be

50:30

the final authority regarding your faith

50:33

, because

50:35

if you do not , then you're everything that you believe . If you base your faith

50:37

on experiences , only feel

50:39

that God is near when you're doing good , and

50:42

whenever you're doing bad he's left you

50:44

. If you base your faith on

50:46

experiences , you won't

50:48

have anything solid . And I've seen

50:51

God's word work again

50:53

and again and again and again . I've

50:55

seen him prove himself , and

50:59

so Meg even

51:01

has come so much farther

51:03

than she was even supposed

51:05

to . You know we can't limit

51:07

God , was

51:12

even supposed to . You know we can't limit God , we can't

51:14

. I think that's another thing with the magnify

51:16

. You know we see him as much as we give him access to us . You know

51:18

he is huge , but

51:20

if we're only seeing him through a pinhole he's

51:23

going to be so small . So I

51:25

think the more that we let him in , the

51:28

more we can see his hand

51:30

on things , his fingerprints on things

51:32

, and so , yes

51:34

, god has been good to me all

51:37

my life and he's been faithful to me all

51:40

my life and he will continue to be faithful

51:42

to me all my life . Um

51:44

, I will . If there's

51:46

anything that I know , it's his goodness

51:48

and I that

51:51

. That's who he is to me . He is good

51:53

, he is mercy , he is

51:55

grace and he is kind .

51:57

I don't think there's anything more to say . I

51:59

mean , that's exactly he . He is like

52:02

you said , if we're going to go by experience

52:04

, we're going to be up and down , up and down . He

52:07

oh . Good day , bad day . God loves me , he hates me , but

52:09

if we go by his word , then

52:11

we know , we know that

52:14

God is love , we know that God is just

52:16

, we know , and

52:18

it creates that solid

52:21

ground for our faith .

52:22

Well , that backbone that you guys were talking about at

52:25

the beginning of the podcast , that backbone . And so

52:27

, guys , we are not sitting

52:30

here on a podcast acting like Rachel's

52:32

life is perfect . She's not telling you that

52:34

. This is her posture 365

52:37

days , 24 , seven . But

52:39

I have been unable

52:41

and I

52:44

believe this might be the 114th

52:46

or 15th episode I

52:48

have been unable to disprove the faithfulness

52:50

of God , because all of my

52:53

life he has been faithful to Chrissy

52:56

. All of your life he has been faithful , and

52:59

we can say this during some of the hardest

53:01

times of our lives , like I have

53:03

, chrissy sitting beside me just went through

53:05

one of the most difficult times in her life , and

53:07

all of our lives he has been faithful

53:09

. And I just I think that

53:12

it's so remarkable , one of the things I just

53:14

keep thinking of , and so I felt very led

53:16

to say this to you , rachel is you mentioned

53:18

Peter , and you know Peter's an interesting

53:20

dude , like he's just Jesus

53:23

was super , super patient with Peter , but I

53:25

love something that I heard John

53:27

Piper say the other day . Actually , he

53:30

said when Jesus went to Peter and

53:32

said you're going to deny me three times , and Peter's like

53:34

, no , I don't . And

53:37

Jesus says to Peter Peter , do

53:39

you love me . And Peter says well , yeah , lord

53:41

, I love you . And what does Jesus say ? He says

53:43

feed my sheep . And this

53:45

goes on three times . And

53:49

that's what you are doing . It's as if God reached down

53:51

into the dark nights when Meg went and sleep and

53:53

said Rachel , do you love me ? Yes , lord

53:56

, I love you . Feed my sheep

53:58

. Because , whether or not you know

54:00

how much

54:02

your books minister to people , have ministered

54:05

to me I get to read them early . Sometimes

54:07

You're feeding his sheep in

54:10

a world that's dark , where

54:12

the harvest is plentiful and the laborers

54:14

are few , and sometimes laborers

54:17

are in a dark bedroom in

54:19

the middle of the night behind a keyboard

54:21

, and I , for one , am

54:23

grateful to you for that , because

54:26

it matters . What you're

54:28

doing right now on this podcast matters

54:30

, and

54:32

so thank you for for

54:34

your faithfulness , thank you for your

54:36

perspective here today for our listeners , because

54:40

I feel like I've been to church . Magnify

54:43

jesus people

54:45

, chrissy , any parting

54:47

words ?

54:48

No , that was beautiful .

54:50

Well done , All

54:52

right . So before I give Rachel

54:55

the mic , as I do with all

54:57

of our guests , I do want to mention to

54:59

you guys that she has a book coming

55:01

out April the 23rd

55:03

called Walking on

55:05

Hidden Wings , and I

55:07

have had the opportunity to read that book and

55:10

you are not going to want to miss it . As

55:12

I do with all books

55:14

, and especially when authors come onto the podcast

55:16

, I will be giving one away . I just need somebody

55:18

to send me a message and say hey , I want Rachel's

55:20

book . The first person that does that . You

55:22

can click on that link tree and the show notes . For

55:26

access to me Fastest way is Instagram

55:29

. And so Walking on Hidden

55:31

Wings that release is April

55:33

the 23rd . It

55:37

might be my

55:40

favorite , I don't know . The

55:42

Starlet Spy is pretty good . So while

55:45

we're talking about that , Chrissy , what's your favorite Rachel

55:47

McDaniel book ?

55:47

So while we're talking about that , chrissy , what's your

55:50

favorite Rachel McDaniel book ? All

56:04

of them . I literally beg her to please please send me .

56:05

Do you have scraps of the story ? Do you have a page written ? Would you please ? Can I please , please , please

56:07

, have just a little bit of your story ? She's very gracious to let me read sometimes . Well , and , and she's

56:09

not , she's not . She doesn't have the proclivity to leave people unsafe , which is your

56:12

least favorite thing . I'm like what are you doing

56:14

? Rachel's left people unsafe again . I

56:18

can't stop reading there nobody's safe

56:20

. Um , okay , rachel

56:22

, thank you for being here today . Thank

56:24

you for this message . It's going to be so edifying

56:27

all around the world . We

56:29

are on six continents . We're still trying to get Antarctica

56:31

. We don't have that one yet . So if anybody , knows anybody in ? Antarctica

56:33

. Share the podcast , but please go out

56:35

and wherever you get books and Rachel's

56:38

going to share her contact information here in a minute

56:40

but Walking on Hidden Wings releases

56:42

April the 23rd . In all the places

56:44

, first person to send me a message gets that

56:47

book . Rachel , I always give

56:49

the guests the mic at the very end

56:51

. There are people

56:54

listening to this because autism

56:56

is so prevalent . Just

56:58

learned that actually , because autism

57:00

is so prevalent , the

57:02

likelihood of many people listening to this with

57:04

children on the spectrum is going to be there . I

57:08

know for sure people are going to be listening to this that

57:10

have had miscarriages . What

57:13

do you say to them as parting

57:15

words ? That they're in a dark room themselves

57:17

with an earbud and listening to this , no

57:19

pressure . What do you say

57:21

to them ?

57:23

Well , first , I see you . Everything

57:25

I said today on this podcast

57:27

is not something that I

57:29

just you know put together

57:31

because it might sound pretty . I

57:33

lived through it , I fought for it

57:35

, I've survived it and

57:38

I know how it feels . So

57:41

, with that said , there's always

57:44

hope . I think that

57:46

is probably the most important

57:49

thing that I cling to , you know , because

57:51

without hope , despair

57:53

sets in , and so there

57:55

is hope , there's light . Sometimes you got

57:57

to fight for it , but you're

58:00

never without help and

58:02

God will always back you . You just

58:05

need to put sometimes , you just need to put a little

58:07

bit of effort , Like we talked about . Sometimes

58:09

it gets easier , but sometimes

58:11

it is every five minutes . You have to

58:13

remind yourself I'm not alone . Every five

58:15

minutes that you have to say today is just a terrible

58:17

day . Tomorrow will be better . You

58:20

know that , even like when everything's

58:22

screaming at you . This is the day the Lord has made . I

58:24

will rejoice and be glad in it . Do we feel like rejoicing

58:26

? Absolutely not . Rejoice and be glad in it . Do we feel like rejoicing

58:28

? Absolutely not . But it's a choice and if you

58:30

start making those choices , little

58:33

by little , things will get brighter

58:35

. Not because everything

58:37

around you is brighter , but

58:39

because what's within you is brighter .

58:43

Wow , that is a mic drop , because

58:45

what's in you is brighter . Magnify

58:49

Jesus , make him bigger than

58:51

your problems , because

58:53

he is . I'm

58:56

stunned . This doesn't

58:58

happen to me very often on podcasts , but

59:01

the message of this podcast has been unbelievable

59:04

, and so thank you for being here today

59:06

Before we close out the podcast

59:08

. I have not gone a single episode without closing it out this way , and so , rachel , I being here today Before we close out the

59:10

podcast , I have not gone a single episode without closing it out this way , and so , rachel

59:12

, I proclaim it over you , your precious

59:14

Meg Drew Scott

59:16

, you are seen , you

59:19

are known , you are heard

59:21

, you are loved and

59:24

you're really , really loved and

59:26

you're so , so valued

59:28

. Thank you for being here , thank you for what you

59:30

do , thank you for being on the podcast

59:32

today , over and over Jesus you

59:35

.

59:35

And when my hope is fading

59:37

and when worries do assail

59:40

me , I will remember how you

59:42

. You never failed

1:00:25

me . You have pulled

1:00:27

me out from the depths

1:00:30

. You have saved me from

1:00:32

certain death . You have

1:00:34

shown yourself faithful to

1:00:36

me over and over Jesus . So

1:00:52

let my life glorify you and

1:00:54

teach me to walk beside you , you .