2:00

of my practice. So over

2:02

these three episodes, today's

2:04

part two, I'm sharing

2:06

the ten biggest things that

2:09

I've learned from putting my business

2:12

together, creating my E-Sync

2:14

Love program, and working with

2:16

thousands of women. On

2:19

our last episode, 319, we talked about the

2:21

first three

2:24

things that I've learned over the

2:26

last 35 years that helped

2:28

me in my life, my business,

2:31

my own weight loss journey, and

2:33

of course, have helped my clients.

2:36

And here they were, number one, make

2:38

a decision and then follow it and

2:41

give it enough time to blossom

2:43

before you try the next new

2:46

thing. Number two, if

2:48

you're not doing well, define

2:50

the problem to get very clear

2:53

on what this right solution is. Just

2:55

don't lump everything that you're

2:57

struggling with together. Make

2:59

it very clear. And number three,

3:02

when you're trying to solve a problem

3:04

like overeating, I want

3:06

you to go deep, not wide.

3:09

That means drill down and

3:11

learn as much as you can about

3:14

a few principles. That's how I

3:16

design my E-Sync Love program.

3:19

So today, we're going to talk about the next

3:21

three big things that I've learned during

3:24

my 35-year

3:25

career. Are you ready?

3:28

Here is number four,

3:30

wake up each day and be

3:33

deliberate about your intentions,

3:37

about what you're going to do and

3:39

what you're going to focus on.

3:41

How do you start your day?

3:44

Are you an early bird who's already

3:47

checking off tasks before the rest

3:50

of the world is awake? Or

3:52

do you hit the snooze button until

3:54

you get out of bed with only minutes

3:57

to spare before you have to

3:59

run out the door? My guess

4:01

is you're probably somewhere in the middle. But

4:04

if you're like most women, your busy day

4:06

begins the minute you wake

4:08

up and you just try

4:10

to keep up and follow

4:13

along. You might feel

4:15

like your life is running you

4:17

instead of the other way around. Living

4:20

your life this way can be pretty

4:23

exhausting. You feel overwhelmed.

4:26

And at the same time, it seems

4:28

like nothing is getting done. So

4:30

you run from one thing to the next

4:33

without having time to even think

4:35

about what you're doing

4:36

and why you're doing it.

4:38

I know this because I'm

4:40

speaking from experience.

4:43

I was able to get out of that

4:45

constant feeling of overwhelm

4:48

when I learned to be deliberate

4:50

about my intentions. So

4:53

what does that mean? When I talk

4:55

about setting intentions, I

4:57

mean that you decide what you would

5:00

like to happen and what

5:02

you need to do to help it

5:04

happen. To set your intentions

5:07

deliberately means that you

5:10

make these decisions before

5:12

you get carried

5:13

along by your day.

5:15

You decide how you want that

5:17

day to go. You run your

5:19

day instead of your day running you.

5:22

So let's take a peek at what a deliberate

5:25

day looks like. A lot of

5:27

times a deliberate day actually

5:29

starts the day before when you think

5:31

about what you want your next day to be

5:33

like. You

5:35

probably already have a basic timeline

5:38

in mind or a to-do

5:40

list written down. But even

5:42

beyond that, what I'm talking about

5:45

is making a mental plan

5:47

like this. You

5:49

ask yourself, how do I want

5:52

to show up tomorrow? What

5:54

version of myself is going

5:57

to run my day? Do you want to

5:59

know? feel peacefully in

6:01

charge?

6:02

Of course you do. After all,

6:05

nobody consciously chooses

6:07

to feel like they're living in complete

6:09

mental chaos. After

6:12

you figure out how you want to show

6:14

up, you then need to make a plan.

6:18

Keep your plan simple. That means

6:20

you don't need to think about your entire life

6:23

or your entire to-do list,

6:26

but it means that you'll focus on what's

6:28

most important to you that day.

6:32

So you're constraining your focus

6:34

on that particular day. And

6:37

then plan for how

6:39

you'll help it all happen. It

6:41

helps to break one big thing

6:43

down into several smaller

6:46

tasks that you can more easily

6:49

accomplish. Now, and

6:51

this is important, plan for

6:53

how you'll think and feel

6:56

before, during, and

6:59

after each of the big

7:01

parts of your day. Being

7:04

deliberate with your intentions is

7:06

especially helpful if

7:09

what you're working on is stopping overeating.

7:12

Think about this. If you start your day with no

7:14

thought about how you'll

7:16

work on your eating goal,

7:19

you're much more likely to eat

7:21

based on emotions

7:23

or based on simple opportunity.

7:27

And you're much less likely to avoid

7:30

eating food just because

7:32

it's there. But if you make a plan,

7:36

setting your intentions, you'll

7:38

know what helpful foods

7:40

you want to eat that day. You'll

7:43

remember to check your hunger

7:45

signals if somebody offers you

7:47

food. And you

7:49

can intentionally feel optimistic

7:52

and determined about your

7:54

weight loss journey rather than feel

7:57

deprived and discouraged. It's

7:59

really amazing what a

8:01

difference it makes when you're deliberate

8:04

with your intentions.

8:06

Think,

8:06

I want this to happen and

8:09

here's how it will go down.

8:12

So that is lesson

8:15

number four, to wake

8:17

up each day and be

8:20

deliberate about your intentions,

8:23

about what you're going to do and to

8:25

focus on. Okay, next,

8:27

lesson number five. Lesson

8:30

number five that I learned

8:32

and practice is

8:35

you need to be your own best

8:38

advocate.

8:40

This means handling yourself

8:42

like you always have your best interests

8:45

at heart and therefore

8:48

you'll always make decisions that serve

8:50

you. Now this might sound

8:53

like something that you think will automatically

8:55

happen because of

8:58

course you want to make the best decisions

9:00

for yourself, right? But

9:02

the reality is that we often

9:05

put the needs of others before

9:08

our own needs. That's not

9:10

a bad thing. I mean,

9:12

of course we want to help and care for other

9:15

people because you see yourself

9:17

as a good caring person but

9:20

there's a big but

9:22

when you completely ignore your

9:24

needs

9:25

and you neglect yourself,

9:28

you're setting yourself up for burnout

9:31

and resentment toward the very people

9:34

that you wanted to help. On

9:37

the other hand, when you consistently

9:39

advocate for yourself,

9:42

you say yes to things that add

9:45

value. They add value

9:47

to your life like taking

9:49

an opportunity to help your education

9:51

or

9:52

your career or

9:53

working on a hobby that brings you joy

9:56

or taking amazing

9:58

care

9:58

of yourself.

10:00

That's the love part of my Eats Think

10:02

Love program. What this

10:05

looks like is that you turn down things

10:07

that take more time or energy

10:10

than you have to give. You're

10:12

honest with yourself about what you can

10:15

handle and you're honest with

10:17

others when you just cannot

10:19

take on another responsibility.

10:23

You learn how to say no when

10:25

it's needed. Being

10:27

an advocate for yourself means

10:29

that you will fight to make sure you get

10:32

what you need. Don't assume

10:34

the world will serve you. You

10:37

might think you're working hard and

10:39

you're obeying the rules. So

10:41

of course you deserve to be treated

10:44

well but unfortunately that's

10:47

just not always how things

10:48

work.

10:50

And of course you don't want to go through

10:52

life fighting others to get

10:54

what you need but you just

10:56

cannot assume that everyone

10:59

else has your best interest

11:01

at heart.

11:02

It's actually just part of being an

11:04

adult for you to need to

11:07

speak up or stand up for yourself.

11:10

You need to do it peacefully

11:12

to get what you want and need.

11:15

For example, whether you run a

11:17

business or work for someone else,

11:20

you're trading your time and

11:23

your expertise for

11:25

compensation. Now

11:27

as women, a lot of us are

11:30

socialized to be nice and accommodating

11:33

and we're often expected to be grateful

11:35

for and accept whatever

11:38

we're offered. But you can't

11:40

assume that the people you

11:43

work with

11:44

are going to automatically pay you what

11:46

you're worth. So you have

11:48

to advocate for yourself. You have to

11:50

know what you're worth. Know

11:52

your value. If you know

11:55

you deserve more, don't

11:57

be afraid to ask. Here's

11:59

another example. For example, when you're a client

12:02

of a doctor, a therapist, a coach,

12:05

you're paying them for their

12:07

expertise, right? But

12:10

many women say that, especially in

12:12

healthcare settings, they just

12:14

don't feel heard. If

12:17

you have a concern, you

12:19

feel like you're being brushed aside, please

12:22

don't be afraid to speak up. If

12:25

a healthcare professional won't listen to

12:27

you, get a second or even

12:29

a third opinion. Take the time

12:32

to interview several

12:34

therapists or coaches to make

12:36

sure you get the right fit. After

12:39

all, you're the one hiring this person.

12:42

You deserve a say in

12:44

the care that you're receiving. It's

12:47

fine to listen to other people's opinions

12:49

and advice, but you know yourself.

12:52

You know your situation best, so

12:55

you need to trust your instincts

12:58

and make decisions that feel good

13:00

to you. And this was lesson

13:03

number five, be your own

13:05

best advocate and get used

13:07

to it. It's not a burden,

13:10

my friend. It's a privilege

13:12

to take care of and look out

13:14

for yourself. And

13:17

the sixth and last lesson for

13:19

today, change isn't

13:21

easy, but it doesn't have

13:24

to be so hard. Do

13:26

you assume that your work,

13:28

your weight loss

13:29

journey, or your relationships

13:32

should be easy?

13:33

Or do you assume that

13:36

they'll be hard?

13:37

Whichever assumption you

13:40

use to shape your life,

13:42

the results that you get, they're

13:44

going to align with

13:46

how you think about it. If

13:48

you think weight loss is so hard,

13:52

then you'll feel defeated and burdened

13:53

before you even start. Or

13:56

you'll have an early fail, you

13:59

expect it to feel like you're climbing

14:01

this huge mountain, so you'll

14:03

give in to making a mistake as

14:06

soon as the opportunity arises. This

14:09

is so common when you do

14:11

anything new, but if you think

14:13

that it's so hard, that

14:15

early mistake is going to reinforce

14:18

your belief that doing this is

14:21

just too hard. Remember

14:23

this, learning anything new

14:26

takes time. This is true

14:28

whether you're learning to play the piano

14:31

or learning to become a natural leader.

14:33

If your main thought about

14:36

starting a new goal or picking

14:38

up an old goal is it's

14:40

too hard, you will

14:42

eventually give up

14:44

and keep starting over and over

14:47

and over.

14:49

So what if you looked at hard in a different

14:51

way?

14:52

If you believe all the good

14:54

things you want are so hard,

14:57

you'll probably give up before you try

14:59

to achieve them. You'll fail

15:01

before you even

15:02

start.

15:03

But if you think this might

15:06

be hard and I can

15:08

do hard things, then

15:10

you'll feel determined and

15:13

you'll be more likely to move ahead and you'll

15:16

experiment with what steps to take.

15:19

If you think something like

15:21

one of our favorites,

15:23

I'll figure this out,

15:25

guess what? You simply

15:28

will. You'll figure it out.

15:30

You might try many things until

15:33

you do figure it out, but you'll keep going

15:36

until you reach success.

15:38

And if you think I've done so

15:41

many other hard things, so

15:44

most likely I can do this too,

15:47

then guess what? Most likely

15:49

you will do this. So

15:52

think about all the hard things you've done in your

15:54

life up to this point. The

15:57

women who've been in my freedom group.

17:59

35% off to

18:02

honor my 35 years

18:05

of service for everything

18:07

in

18:07

my shop through the month

18:09

of October.

18:10

Okay, my friend, that is

18:12

it for now. This is your

18:14

Coach Cookie reminding you

18:16

that as you search for answers,

18:19

you know what we do. We keep

18:21

it real, just like you. And

18:24

I will see you back here next week.