0:00

And it's not at the cost of men, it's in

0:02

favor of humanity.

0:04

Like we fricking ride at dawn.

0:06

Let's go. We're all coming together.

0:09

Get in the minivan because that's

0:11

what we're doing. Like that's what we're doing now. Okay.

0:14

Like, just like,

0:15

Yes.

0:16

to just pull people into our echo chamber,

0:18

like person by person, then it's no longer

0:21

an echo chamber. It's just an environment that we've

0:23

created.

0:57

Hey guys, we're doing this right, right?

1:00

Hey Cheryl, how

1:01

Colleen, are you doing it right?

1:02

you? Uh, I feel like today I am doing it right. I

1:04

got up, I like fully did my hair and my makeup,

1:06

so it's feeling really right today.

1:09

And you can't see it, but I'm wearing

1:11

like a red pleated skirt, and

1:14

it is just, I feel

1:16

Ooh,

1:17

right about this situation today. So

1:20

usually I

1:20

it's matching her lips. Ladies and gentlemen,

1:22

today I feel great.

1:24

she looking good. Yeah. Well,

1:26

today we have a really incredible guest

1:28

that I think is going to inspire the hell out

1:30

of every single person that listens. Um,

1:32

Paden Hughes is a speaker and author

1:35

and a success coach and

1:37

a podcaster. So her book is

1:39

called Take Two. How

1:42

a simple daily habit increased my health, wealth,

1:44

and happiness. And then her podcast

1:46

is called Behind Her Rise. And

1:48

it has been so fun to listen to. So welcome

1:51

Paden.

1:52

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to

1:54

be here. I

1:55

We are thrilled you're here. You

1:57

guys will figure this out in about 30 seconds,

1:59

but Paden is just, you know, And I'm going to be talking about

2:01

how to be the best fucking dynamic and I love her

2:04

so get

2:04

yes, but I love that your book's called Take Two.

2:07

We're all about like Take Two, like next

2:09

step, next chapter. Tell

2:11

us, tell,

2:13

can't take credit for that title. That

2:16

came from a, an intuition

2:18

to reach out randomly to a woman

2:20

that I have sort of known. And

2:22

within 30 seconds of having coffee with

2:24

her, she named the book. And I was like,

2:27

what? It was

2:30

so good. I

2:32

Amazing. So tell us about,

2:35

I mean, to me, when we read your bio, there's

2:37

like so many amazing things. And I've, I've,

2:39

you've come and spoke to our, um, networking

2:42

group before. So I know a little bit about you, but you're

2:45

doing so many of these wonderful things. But what I loved

2:48

the most was that you're a success coach.

2:51

And I love that. It's like a success. It's

2:54

not a business coach. It's not a life coach. It's not

2:56

a, and maybe it's all of those things,

2:58

but like, can you

3:01

talk to us a little bit about that

3:03

and how that the work that you're doing?

3:06

And we talked a little bit before about. You

3:08

know, women entrepreneurs and women in business. So like,

3:10

tell us all about that because we want to know everything about you immediately.

3:15

think that I, if I had

3:17

to say there's one common thread

3:19

because I'm a manifesting generator

3:21

and in the human design world, that

3:23

means I am multi passionate. You can't

3:25

tie me down. I am always

3:27

doing 16 things and I, my life

3:29

works better when I'm doing all of that.

3:33

Most of the time. And so if

3:35

I were to say like, there's one theme in my whole life,

3:37

it has been, how do I create

3:39

the most success without

3:42

selling my soul and making

3:44

myself miserable? I

3:46

think that that's what a lot

3:48

of women who are pioneering,

3:52

who are trailblazing, like think

3:54

that's really at our core, what we're

3:56

looking for. Like, yeah, we want success, but

3:59

I think that inherently women.

4:03

I think well, from the women

4:05

that I work with and the women that I interview, the way

4:07

we describe success is different

4:09

than the way men describe success,

4:11

Yes.

4:12

which I think is absolutely

4:14

powerful. And I don't want to like skip

4:16

over that. This is why I am so

4:19

passionate about women rising to all

4:21

levels of influence without

4:24

having to kill themselves to get there because

4:26

there's an altruism around women

4:28

that is really unique. Like we're not just

4:30

here to build legacy for our. name

4:34

or like our posterity where we want to have

4:36

our kids of a hundred million dollars each like that's

4:39

not what a woman shows up to the scene

4:41

going. That's what I want women

4:44

want the collective to do better. They want

4:46

to give back. They want to have freedom. They

4:48

want to buy back their time. They want

4:50

us to enjoy all the facets

4:52

of the roles that society and they

4:54

have decided they will take on

4:56

in the world. And so for us,

4:58

it's not just about creating

5:01

success. It's what is success

5:04

feel like to each of us. And

5:06

that's why I talk about myself as a success

5:08

coach. Cause yeah, I talk about money.

5:10

I talk about business. I talk about life

5:13

because my thing is look,

5:15

ultimately what success. What

5:18

when success is magnetized to you is

5:20

when you are in your coherence,

5:23

meaning that you are your authentic

5:25

expression of self. And there is

5:28

nothing more magnetic than looking at someone

5:30

who is just vibrant and at peace.

5:34

I don't know any, like you roll into a networking

5:36

event and you're like, there's some woman rocking

5:39

her vibe and she's

5:41

not stressed. She's in a place

5:43

of love and acceptance of who she is

5:45

and she's because of that. She's so generous and

5:47

supporting other women. That's the woman

5:49

I want to be with. That's the woman we've sent

5:51

clients to. That's the woman opportunities

5:54

flock to. And so that's

5:56

what I want to coach. I coach women around.

5:59

So yesterday, my business partner, Rachel Metzger

6:01

sent me this quote, if you're comfortable

6:03

with yourself and know yourself, you're going to shine

6:06

and radiate and other people are going to be drawn to

6:08

you. That was from Dolly Parton and

6:10

such compliment. He sent it to me and said,

6:12

this is you. And that

6:15

is, I mean, that is my definition of success. If

6:17

I am just able to embody me

6:19

and be me and own it. Great.

6:22

I've made it. And hopefully there's some income

6:24

that comes from that. But

6:27

at the core, that's what I'm looking

6:29

Yeah. And I, and we have chatted

6:31

a lot about like, you know,

6:33

I'm at, I kind of am in a transition

6:35

with my business where I was on a team and now I'm solo

6:38

and what I feel so empowered

6:41

to be able to just like be myself and

6:43

be. Who I want

6:45

to be and without these like

6:47

certain restrictions of like,

6:49

you know, we were talking about right before, like

6:52

I'm a mom and I'm never going to apologize

6:54

for that. And I'm always going to be that. And

6:56

that is so in. ingrained

6:58

and enfibered into who I am,

7:01

but previously, or in other such

7:03

other professions, I've got something that I've had

7:05

to hide. So I couldn't be genuinely me.

7:07

Right. Or, you know, they're like,

7:10

maybe don't wear that really bright red

7:14

pleated skirt because that's a

7:16

little bit too much and we don't want too much,

7:18

you know, but like

7:20

now that I'm able to just kind of, and

7:24

I love that you said like chilled. Right?

7:26

Like, like, we're just kind of like relaxed because

7:29

when we're not, that is that

7:31

feeling of something being forced or something

7:33

being unauthentic. But just

7:37

teach me all the things that you're talking about, because

7:39

that's who I want to be. And

7:42

that's what I

7:43

Okay, so, um, I love

7:45

energetics. And what we're describing

7:48

here is the energy of someone

7:50

who's in their power. And

7:52

we sometimes, I think, as women, we hear the word power,

7:54

we think of the

7:56

United States. Or like, we go like to some

7:59

crazy place of historically

8:02

masculine power, but

8:04

a woman's power is

8:06

so magnetic. And I think

8:08

that for me, a huge evolution

8:11

for me was really,

8:14

if I were to chart back and I document this in

8:16

my book, but the whole story is like, I was

8:18

so overly masculine

8:20

to succeed. believed

8:22

that because I would It's like, what,

8:25

what do our kids do when like mom

8:27

says good job, they want to do more

8:29

of that, right? Well, that's still carried

8:31

into my professional self. When I

8:33

was told, Hey, great job for

8:36

cutting that business owner off in

8:38

their pity party and dropping

8:40

the shit in the conversation and telling

8:42

them to wake up to their dreams. You

8:44

were a badass. And I was like, Oh, it's a badass. Like

8:47

I'm going to do more of that. Right?

8:49

So then the more you stack on

8:51

these, like, expectations of how to be badass,

8:54

how to demand respect, how

8:56

to take charge of situations,

8:58

the more you kind of it's

9:02

almost like, and I also own a gym, so it's like

9:04

overdeveloping your biceps, but

9:06

then like atrophying your butt muscles.

9:09

Like, it's like to make women

9:11

the ass of the body, but in a sense,

9:14

what I feel like what we do is

9:16

we, we overdevelop sides of us that

9:18

we, the business world historically celebrates.

9:21

And then we feel like we have to atrophy

9:23

or leave behind other parts of ourselves.

9:26

So then we're not integrated. And

9:28

they just did a study on

9:30

what's the highest vibrational

9:34

frequency in terms of experience. And

9:37

we would think, what, what would you think is like the

9:39

highest vibration? If like rejections,

9:42

like the lowest would be like a word

9:44

that you're like, that would probably be pretty freaking high.

9:47

Orgasm.

9:48

Ooh, that's

9:50

I love that so much.

9:53

I'm reading a lot of smut books right now,

9:55

so you'll have to

9:56

I love it. There's, there's

9:58

a lot there for women with sexuality.

10:00

We can get into that for sure. Cause that's

10:03

a huge part of our power.

10:05

That just feels like my highest vibration.

10:07

Yeah.

10:07

literally and

10:07

Yeah.

10:08

figuratively.

10:09

Yeah. I think that that's powerful.

10:13

What would you say?

10:14

I think what we're taught is like, uh, validation

10:17

or recognition or somebody

10:20

like, Saying or somebody else

10:22

acknowledging or saying that you are

10:24

powerful or that you are strong. I

10:27

think those are the things where like, that's

10:30

almost like what you're trying, like what you're told,

10:32

like you're supposed to achieve is somebody else's

10:34

supposed to perceive you a certain way. And,

10:38

Or like the slam dunk on the negotiation.

10:41

Like winning, kicking ass on the negotiation.

10:43

Like that high you feel when you have

10:46

like killed it and crushed it

10:48

and got what you

10:49

but I think the point there is that you said crushed

10:51

it. And I think what we are also

10:53

taught a lot is that. It has to be

10:55

so harsh and it has to

10:57

be, it to be strong. It has to be intense

10:59

and you kind of have to be mean, right?

11:02

Like what you're talking about, whereas

11:04

I look at when I'm trying to negotiate

11:07

now, cause we both work in this and

11:09

real estate where there's a lot of negotiations. I

11:12

push negotiations like almost

11:14

like, you know, like you're trying to get a drink at a bar.

11:17

Do you know what I mean? Like, we're like okay,

11:20

like how do we make this work for both of us? Like,

11:23

and how are we doing this way where everybody leaves feeling

11:25

good about this, but I still got what my client

11:28

needed. Instead of like, I'm

11:30

going to punish you until

11:33

I get what my client wants

11:35

so I think what you both kind of said is, is

11:37

the highest vibration would be

11:39

achieving euphoria,

11:42

would be I think more of what Cheryl was saying.

11:45

And then I would call

11:47

in, it'd be more of like a sense of

11:50

job well done and witnessed by

11:52

others, right? Like a sense of like, it's so powerful

11:54

that others are in celebration

11:57

of that. So, And

11:59

I forget what the name of the study was, but it was so

12:02

powerful. They were like, okay, rejection

12:04

we know is like solo, right?

12:06

Like revenge, like all that is like so

12:08

dense and so low vibration. Right.

12:10

And then we get into like acceptance

12:13

and self knowledge and, you know, that's

12:15

definitely higher up there and, and

12:18

praise and, and with being witnessed

12:20

as yourself and not rejected, but celebrated.

12:24

And then they even brought it into,

12:26

and this is way more kind of Eastern

12:28

philosophy, which is like, Love and compassion

12:31

be like, Oh, like that's so such

12:34

high frequency. But the recent

12:36

study actually showed authenticity

12:38

was higher than love. And

12:41

I just loved that so much

12:43

because it was like, wait a second. That's

12:47

saying that like, Dr. Joe Dispenza talks

12:49

a ton about brain and heart coherence.

12:52

When someone is living their truth.

12:55

When someone's actions match their

12:57

values, when someone

12:59

rolls into a negotiation, gets

13:02

the win win from a place of centered

13:04

authenticity and isn't trying to,

13:07

have a murky like

13:09

desire to get back at someone

13:12

or to, you know, even just like, They

13:14

want this much money because they want more of a down

13:16

payment for their vacation house. Like, and

13:18

they just pull that back and go like, what's in

13:20

the highest and best for who's in front

13:22

of me and how are all parties served and

13:24

how am I the conduit for that? When

13:27

we come from that place, we resonate

13:29

so high. And the theory

13:31

here is when you are that

13:33

coherent and you are that dialed in,

13:36

you are magnetic as fuck. And

13:39

you're not just People, you're magnetic

13:41

to money. You're magnetic to opportunities.

13:43

You're magnetic to experiences

13:47

make people go. How did, how did that happen

13:50

in your world? And you're like, I'm

13:52

just doing me and I'm doing it really freaking

13:54

well. And I'm so proud of myself because

13:57

it was, no one's come, no one's celebrated

14:00

in childhood for being their authentic

14:02

self. Like, it's just like, I mean, maybe our generation

14:04

of mothers is really focused on that, but

14:06

previous generations that hasn't The

14:09

book of knowledge that has been passed to

14:11

other women. It's been how to get kids

14:14

that listen the first time, right? Like

14:16

how to get, you know, and we could go down

14:18

that road, but. You know how it goes.

14:20

It's like, well, why are we so obsessed

14:22

with first time obedience? Like what

14:25

is that? That's not to me. And like

14:27

how your child thinks of you as a parent when

14:29

they're 12 is not what, where, where your

14:31

measure of success is it's when they're 18. It's

14:33

when they're 29, it's when they're 36, are

14:35

they still saying you are a great parent? Same

14:39

thing with us as we're building and

14:41

charting success. Like what are we focused

14:43

on? Like, and so

14:45

many of us have a number that's

14:48

a numerical number that we think

14:51

this is going to feel really good.

14:53

Well, success isn't a number. It's a feeling

14:55

and everyone's feeling about success is

14:57

different.

14:59

I, Alex and I have hit our number

15:01

that we thought would be the place where we were like,

15:03

so fulfilled. And we're both not, we're

15:06

both, he's more than me, like hitting his

15:08

head against the wall because it doesn't feel

15:10

good for him, how

15:12

we, how he got there, what

15:14

he's living every day. So I'm hiring him a

15:16

happiness coach, everybody. So

15:18

we're going to try and

15:19

yeah, well,

15:20

Oh my

15:21

yeah. And

15:22

Shout out to Skye Michaels.

15:24

that's amazing. And I think that it's

15:26

so interesting because when you set those,

15:29

those ultimate goals, like for you and you

15:32

get there, it's on, you know, and I relate this to,

15:34

you know, I never like to make weight loss comparisons,

15:36

but, but there's that, right? Like if you're like,

15:38

if I just lose these 15 pounds.

15:41

Then I'm going to look really good in that bathing suit.

15:43

And then you do, and you've done it because

15:46

you've starved yourself and you've done it because you've blah, blah, blah,

15:48

whatever. And then you get there and

15:50

it doesn't feel the same. It doesn't feel

15:52

like how you thought it was going to feel. And

15:55

you've done it in this really awful way. And

16:00

that number doesn't equal

16:02

happiness is exactly what you're saying, right?

16:04

Like that, that doesn't equal success

16:06

or happiness because you could still.

16:09

Yeah, man. When I was doing

16:11

our taxes, I was not feeling euphoria.

16:14

When I was like, whoa, look at that. Oh

16:16

shit. What can I write off? Oh

16:18

God. There's like a whole nother set of problems here.

16:21

Yeah.

16:21

don't qualify for what anymore? Cool.

16:24

Thanks guys.

16:25

Yeah.

16:26

when you, this is something that I genuinely

16:28

like, cause I am on this path towards like

16:30

trying to be, not trying to be,

16:32

but really, really sitting in my, in who

16:34

I am authentically and, and kind of having to peel

16:37

away like all these things that I've been taught or

16:39

all these ideas, preconceived ideas

16:41

that I thought were there. Yeah. What

16:44

made a strong business woman or whatever, you

16:46

know, like I also grew up in the eighties where like strong

16:49

business woman meant something very specific.

16:51

And when You're doing that, it can feel,

16:54

I feel very vulnerable,

16:56

or I feel like, you know, there's people

16:58

who don't love that and

17:00

like, how do you coach to that? Or like, what

17:02

do you. What do we do? Like if somebody

17:05

is like, I think

17:07

what you're doing is stupid. And you're like, but

17:09

this is really who I am, or this is really authentic.

17:11

Or, you know, like, what do we

17:13

do? How much, how do we keep going?

17:15

You're in the wrong room.

17:17

Yeah.

17:18

I mean, there's some of some of that, right?

17:20

Like we're, and we're taught a

17:22

lot. If you know, there's a lot

17:24

of pocket therapists in my hand,

17:26

at least when I'm scrolling social media and I'm getting

17:29

wise every five seconds with these like

17:31

doses of wisdom. And a lot of it is.

17:33

You know, surround yourself with people who

17:35

cheer for you. The truth is though, for

17:37

me, when I was journeying out of, you

17:40

know, I had a lot of girl boss badges

17:42

of honor, and I was having

17:45

suicidal thoughts behind

17:47

closed doors. And the truth

17:49

is when I admit that in circles of high

17:51

powered women, I am not the only woman.

17:54

they're like, girl, I get that. Like you built

17:56

a, everyone thought you built a castle, but you were

17:58

building a cage for yourself. And

18:01

we feel that somewhere inside of us is

18:03

like who we've had to become to

18:06

get the things that we thought would create this external,

18:09

this external validation that

18:11

it feels super empty inside. It

18:13

sounds crazy. Cause people go, but you seem like

18:15

super successful. It's like, I am.

18:18

But that version of success turns out

18:20

isn't my version of success. And I'm

18:22

the one sitting here going. What

18:24

have I just spent all this time doing? So

18:27

for me, when I think about, you

18:29

know, how, when we're making those shifts and

18:31

we're in that place of vulnerability and

18:34

it's grief because essentially

18:36

I, at least I'm curious how this lands for you

18:38

calling, but when I was going through and deconstructing

18:41

I was fronting as, and

18:43

who I probably even at the time thought was

18:45

authentic to me, truly,

18:48

I mean, what are our self

18:50

awareness of what's authentic also

18:52

evolves. And so it's okay

18:55

to go, well, like me being a business badass

18:57

is fucking authentic because I was the bossy girl

18:59

who was told all the time, be

19:02

less, be less, be less, be

19:04

less. And I didn't be

19:06

less, I just found out how to be less

19:08

in certain environments to get what I wanted.

19:10

It's very transactional, very manipulative,

19:12

very much like, who do I have to be

19:14

in this moment to succeed? And I'll be that.

19:17

it's a survival technique. And so what I, what

19:19

I work with, a lot of the women that I work with go,

19:22

you know, it's hard to let go of

19:25

your dysfunction when you're powerful in it. That's

19:28

a real thing for women, like a lot

19:31

of us have been rewarded for showing up

19:33

in a certain way, being harsh in a

19:35

negotiation, being not

19:37

a pushover, right? And as we

19:39

are probably some equal parts

19:42

feminist and trying to

19:44

figure out how to be feminine, right? Like

19:46

at the same time. And be in our power,

19:48

because feminine's so powerful. And

19:51

we're sitting there deconstructing all of that. There's

19:53

a lot of grief, because who we've

19:55

had to become required a lot of self

19:57

betrayal. That we weren't

19:59

conscious of. It's not like

20:02

anyone's handing you a menu going, You

20:04

can either be this, And

20:06

give up these 10 things you love about yourself.

20:08

Like no one's doing that. There's no transparency

20:11

in the journey to who

20:13

we've had to become. So as we

20:15

go back, we go, well, when did I stop

20:18

being kind? That was mine.

20:20

I asked my dad, how would you describe

20:22

me as a kid? Cause I felt so disconnected

20:25

from my little self. And

20:27

he said, there's only one word I would think of, which

20:29

was kind. And I was like, my God, nobody

20:31

in my life would describe me as that right

20:33

now. Super

20:36

sad moment. And

20:38

I didn't beat myself up for it. It was like, okay,

20:41

evidence that I've moved away from

20:43

who I used to be. And I

20:48

mean, yeah, it is vulnerable and it's vulnerable.

20:50

And I think that. In the world of

20:53

spirituality and healing, there's

20:55

a lot more openness around these conversations,

20:58

but in rooms with women who have worked

21:01

really freaking hard to

21:03

get a seat at the table

21:06

and to get into that top tier entrepreneur

21:08

room, We aren't admitting this

21:11

stuff. But the thing is, is as soon as you

21:13

do, everyone goes, ugh, sigh of relief.

21:15

I'm not the only one. I thought I was broken. So

21:19

it's really powerful.

21:20

find that like, sometimes

21:23

as women, We

21:25

want to support each other and help each other. But there's

21:27

also there is, and I almost think it's generational

21:30

who are like, well, I worked so hard to get here,

21:33

so you better work that

21:36

hard to get here and you better go through

21:38

the crap that I went through, otherwise

21:40

you haven't earned your seat here.

21:42

And I think

21:44

that that is so awful.

21:47

I just, that

21:50

breaks my heart that people that, and

21:52

women and that we're doing that too, that, and

21:54

it's not all women. And I do think that there

21:56

is some of it, a lot of it is going away

21:58

with like women of our generation.

22:01

Because a lot of us want to see each other

22:03

rise, you know, we want to see each other

22:06

succeed and collaborate, but, but there

22:08

are still some people out there

22:10

who are like, Since it was so hard

22:12

for me, it has to be hard for you, or

22:14

it's not, or it's not

22:16

real. And I'm not gonna tell you how to get

22:18

there, I'm not gonna show you what to do. You

22:20

got to figure it out because I had to figure it out. And,

22:23

and I think

22:25

in this evolution, it's like, how do we get out of,

22:27

how do we get away from those people? How do we get out

22:29

of those rooms? Cause

22:32

I don't know. I mean, you can tell me, like, I don't

22:34

know if there's, if those women or those

22:36

people want

22:39

to change or want to be helped or want to,

22:42

to grow in

22:44

these really like authentic

22:47

ways, I'm not sure what

22:49

to do with that.

22:51

Well, let's all, I mean, we're, it's

22:53

a podcast, right? People can't necessarily

22:55

see our hands, but raise your hand if you've ever felt

22:57

like a woman competed with you for a seat

22:59

at

23:00

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

23:02

I mean Yeah, for sure. We got two

23:04

of three. So percent of this

23:06

dynamic here. Raise your hand. If

23:08

you've ever felt a woman made it possibly

23:10

harder for you to jump through more holes

23:12

to get there. So we've

23:14

got three out of three hands up and

23:17

raise your hand now. Cause this is just me

23:20

being a nerd. hand if you

23:22

felt that your mother or sisters

23:24

were competitive with you growing up. Okay.

23:29

So we got two out of three. what

23:31

I've done is I've started a

23:33

research project interviewing

23:36

the top 2 percent of female leaders

23:38

or entrepreneurs to find, unfortunately,

23:40

two per top 2 percent means seven figures, which

23:43

I say unfortunate because if we were to compare

23:45

that to men, figures would be

23:47

like the top two. 80 percent of entrepreneurs

23:49

that are men, right? Like it's very disproportionate.

23:53

Part of that's the side hustle world's

23:55

way of calling us all CEOs and,

23:57

and just kind of watering down sometimes

23:59

what otherwise traditionally we would know, but we'll

24:02

take it because women are going to take over the world.

24:04

I really believe that when it comes to

24:06

women being in competition with

24:08

each I think for me

24:11

and what I've seen in the research is It

24:14

is so correlated to how you,

24:16

your first relationships to the feminine

24:18

were, how you

24:20

experienced your mother, how you experienced

24:23

sisters. aunts, grandmothers,

24:25

like whoever were the prominent female

24:27

figures as you were growing up and impressionable

24:30

is how you will brace for

24:32

interactions with other females by nature.

24:35

And so for us as mothers, the three

24:37

of us being mothers, but anyone listening, if you're not

24:40

a mother, you're a sister, you're an aunt, you're

24:42

a friend, like. Who we are

24:44

to young people and making space

24:46

for them and not being in a spirit of competition and

24:49

not trying to compare them

24:51

against someone else. Even if you don't know

24:53

that that's causing harm, you're

24:55

preconditioning these women to go out into

24:57

the world, bracing for someone to compare

25:00

themselves and measure themselves against you. When

25:02

your mother is competitive with you

25:04

and putting you down, every female

25:06

leader is going to try to take

25:09

a whack at you. You're

25:11

just bracing for it, and we know,

25:13

emotional intelligence would say, if you're coming

25:15

into a room, let's go into a negotiation room, and you're

25:18

expecting them to try to screw you, what's

25:20

your energy like walking into that room?

25:23

braced. Yeah,

25:25

braced, you're ready for battle, and everyone

25:27

can feel it, even if they don't have

25:29

the awareness to know, survivors

25:32

enough as a species to read that

25:34

energy and get ready for our own

25:36

battle. I think there's a lot of

25:38

women unconsciously going into the

25:40

world braced for rejection

25:42

from one another. And this goes really

25:45

far back. There's research that

25:47

says you are carrying in your DNA,

25:50

the lived traumas of up

25:52

to 13 generations of women. back,

25:55

which brings us into the witch trials

25:58

where women were legitimately

26:00

told, I will kill your entire family

26:02

and all of your children unless you turn a sister

26:05

in. I know that sounds

26:07

bizarre, but like this is actually,

26:09

in my opinion, still coloring

26:12

a lot of our experience with other women. And

26:14

this went on 13 generations

26:16

and beyond. They estimate between

26:19

1 million and 9 million predominantly

26:21

females were killed over

26:24

the course of two centuries. out

26:27

for things that today we would celebrate things

26:29

like being an herbalist So like you're into doTERRA

26:32

you would have been a witch Like you're

26:34

you talking to your dog because you love your

26:36

dog and thinks it has a cute personality

26:38

Which like you're financially

26:40

independent of a man and you chose not to get married

26:43

Very problematic you live outside

26:46

of like a city and you're more isolated

26:48

You're definitely a weirdo like which

26:51

many crazy things You When you

26:54

go back into the studies of like, what it actually

26:56

was, people weren't drinking blood out of chalices

26:58

and being burned on stakes. Like, that's not

27:00

what was happening. It was anyone who was a free thinker

27:02

who went against what the church said at

27:04

that time was a problem.

27:07

And not only that, but if you

27:09

had an opinion that was yours, and

27:12

you protected another woman who was getting

27:14

targeted, the men in your

27:16

family would try to keep you small

27:18

and hidden so that you would stay safe.

27:21

So the masculine has a wound around

27:23

women being seen as well, because men

27:26

want to keep women safe in

27:29

the masculine, and they weren't able to 13

27:31

generations back. The women they

27:34

loved were getting hurt. And

27:36

they couldn't protect them. I happen

27:38

to believe that that shit is alive

27:40

in our cells and in our bloodlines.

27:42

And we're not even aware of how it's showing up.

27:45

Yeah.

27:46

It's just wild when you go that far back.

27:49

I mean, yeah, I mean, and you see it,

27:51

I mean, like even just, it's

27:54

interesting. This is a really random

27:56

reference, but you're talking about the witch trials and there's a Taylor

27:59

Swift song where she talks about, like,

28:02

my daughter is about to be 10 and she's

28:04

like, what are they talking about? Mom? Like burn what?

28:07

Like what? And I had to have

28:09

this conversation with her. And

28:12

it was so interesting, you

28:14

know, like she's 10 and I've tried

28:16

so hard to be a good mom to her and like, you

28:18

know, whatever. But, and

28:20

she was just like, what are you talking about? Like if they didn't,

28:22

you know, like if they used

28:26

herbs, you know, as medicine that they

28:28

would be burned or whatever, like, but

28:30

it's something that that happened 13

28:33

centuries ago or whatever you're saying, but we still know

28:35

about it, we still talk about it, it's still prevalent, we're

28:37

still seeing that in different

28:39

modern versions. Every

28:43

single day, however, that is

28:45

right. Like, however, that's being transferred.

28:47

Cellularly, generationally

28:50

colloquially, like oral

28:53

history wise, you know, like those things

28:55

in, in behaviors are being, I

28:58

mean, it's very obvious if

29:00

you were, if you're looking and

29:03

Yeah. So in the healing community, a

29:05

lot of women have thyroid issues,

29:08

connected to throat. Your throat is

29:11

connected to speaking your truth. I

29:13

don't know about you, but my entire female

29:16

side of my bloodline on both sides

29:18

of my appearance have thyroid

29:20

issues and have trouble speaking

29:23

their truth. Well, that was

29:25

probably keeping them alive hundreds

29:28

of years ago. But no longer is

29:30

needed to keep us alive. So then the question

29:32

becomes, what have we inherited

29:34

as coping mechanisms to stressors

29:36

or to success? Because the other way

29:38

this shows up is not just women against women.

29:40

It's women being afraid to be seen.

29:44

Women being afraid to be visible. Women

29:47

being afraid to use their voice. Women

29:49

being afraid to be powerful.

29:52

So then that starts affecting female entrepreneurs

29:55

a lot, because it's like, how

29:57

am I in self sabotage mode right now?

29:59

How have I inherited ways of minimizing

30:02

myself so that I stay alive? by

30:05

no means makes any sense really today

30:07

in this corner of the world where we live.

30:10

Like, that's not a real thing, but our nervous system

30:12

doesn't know that. Our subconscious mind

30:15

doesn't know that. It's been inherited. It's

30:17

been programmed. So

30:19

then we have to get radical about how

30:21

are we if we're serious about success, how

30:24

are we serious about healing our nervous

30:26

system so that we can hold money

30:28

and not be scared to have money? This

30:33

is going to sound funny, but because Cheryl already brought

30:35

up orgasms, we'll just go there.

30:38

I know women who are just So

30:40

successful and they will tell me

30:43

that they will get a pile of cash

30:45

And lay on it and have an orgasm

30:48

on the money So that they

30:50

their nervous system recognizes

30:53

that it's safe to be around money

30:55

and feel pleasure

30:57

That sounds nice.

30:58

Isn't that funny?

31:00

I need to bring a pile of money to bed. Okay.

31:03

Let's shift and talk about how

31:05

women are going to rule the world, please.

31:07

How are we getting there? What are we doing?

31:09

So in this age of Aquarius,

31:11

cause I, I don't know if you can tell, like I love

31:14

bringing the esoteric and spiritual

31:16

into practical means, because I believe

31:18

that's where women have always dominated.

31:21

In fact, that's why we were targeted

31:24

that many years ago. So systemically

31:27

across many generations, there were

31:29

women who were just the wise women

31:32

that men wouldn't go into war until

31:34

the woman spoke and said that spoke.

31:37

when we should go and that's how we should do it.

31:40

deep inside of us are these reservoirs

31:42

of wisdom that the world has not

31:44

historically known how to hold and

31:47

venerate. And so we've been

31:49

marginalized, we've been cornered, we've been

31:51

stifled. And as women are coming,

31:53

I believe back into what's called the age

31:55

of Aquarius, which we just went

31:58

into an age of Aquarius for a transit for the

32:00

next 200 years, it

32:02

is all about the rise of the feminine. And

32:05

you can start to see that on social media.

32:07

We are seeing messages of women speaking

32:10

each other's names in rooms of opportunity. That's

32:12

not as taboo as it used to be. We

32:15

see women celebrating one another,

32:17

even if they won and they're living

32:19

a life that you secretly wish and want.

32:22

We're starting to recognize that competing

32:24

against each other versus just celebrating Seeing these women

32:26

as proof that what we want is possible

32:29

is changing the conversation around competition

32:32

and comparison. seeing

32:34

women recognizing that they have

32:36

an innate knowing their

32:40

male counterparts aren't as tapped

32:42

into. For example, you roll into

32:44

a negotiation, you roll into

32:46

an interaction that's charged. There's

32:48

money on the table. There's emotions in the

32:50

room and a woman. Nine

32:53

out of nine times is going to call

32:55

who's where the problem is and who's

32:57

got the biggest ego that is in the room and

32:59

how to navigate that. Not navigate

33:01

it as in like, you know, if we're like thinking

33:04

in nature, like how we

33:06

would navigate, if there's a boulder and

33:08

there's a river, women are the river

33:10

and we go around the boulder. We figure out

33:12

a way to just go around it. Men would be like, how

33:14

do we pick up the boulder and just move it? It's

33:16

like, well, that doesn't work all the time.

33:19

Women have a totally different way of engaging in

33:21

the world. We're starting to see this when Harvard

33:23

Business Review did a study that said

33:25

that emotional intelligence is a

33:28

far bigger indicator of professional

33:30

success and leadership than intelligence.

33:35

So, we're seeing, and

33:37

emotional intelligence lives in the feminine.

33:39

Like, we know this. We know

33:41

this. We know how to read who's lying.

33:45

Like women are just lie detectors, pretty much

33:47

rolling around. Well, you throw that plus

33:49

able to perceive what's not being said, what's

33:51

being felt, what they

33:53

know to be true, even if they can't describe

33:56

it. So 82 percent of the female entrepreneurs

33:58

that I interview said that they 1000%, when

34:01

they look at how they, if

34:03

they were to reverse engineer their road to success,

34:05

it was, they ran along their intuition

34:07

when people said it wouldn't make sense. They

34:10

said, I don't care. I know it's

34:12

right. And I know what I know what I know. And I

34:14

can't describe how I know it, but I know it. And every

34:17

time I do what I know, it works out for me.

34:20

That is an unheard of in masculine

34:22

business school, where it prevailing logic

34:25

and data and reverse

34:27

engineering. Everything is conventional

34:29

wisdom. Well, women aren't bound

34:31

by that. that we have access

34:34

to deeper and more creative

34:36

ways of solving problems that

34:38

make things better for more than just

34:40

ourselves, for the people that work with us,

34:42

that people that are impacted by us, and

34:44

when the world wakes up to collaboration,

34:47

when the world is waking up to emotional intelligence,

34:50

and so. Soon intuition being just

34:52

as valued as logic. We're going

34:54

to see women rise. We're already seeing

34:57

feminine leadership outpacing

34:59

masculine leadership in studies. And

35:02

that's just the beginning because

35:04

women entrepreneurs, we care

35:06

more about freedom than our

35:09

male counterparts. They care more about power

35:11

and influence. When

35:13

women show up on the scene and go, you know what? I

35:15

am going to kick ass, but I'm going to do it in four hours

35:17

a day. And they break

35:19

out of hustle culture and they're just rocking

35:22

it. And they're in their full power for four hours.

35:24

And then they're like baking bread on a Saturday.

35:26

And that's like so much joy for them

35:28

or their horseback riding, or they're doing

35:31

something that makes them just excited. They're redecorating

35:33

their house, like whatever women are doing,

35:36

like, and they're being so multifaceted

35:39

and so grounded in who they are. The,

35:41

the hustle to hustle mindset, which

35:44

has traditionally been where the masculine

35:46

resides, just like race.

35:49

Cause you can, and that lights them up. It's not

35:51

lighting women up. Women aren't here to race

35:53

marathons for 20 freaking years

35:55

with no breaks. That's not

35:58

lighting us up. lighting

36:00

us up is coming in, making impact and getting

36:02

out and doing the thing that lights and makes us feel

36:04

fun and alive and free and

36:06

fluid and creative. And so

36:08

when women are giving ourselves

36:11

permission to do that, and

36:14

I think the online space is going to help

36:16

where women can really get paid for their

36:18

expertise. think that

36:20

we're going to see the collapse of traditional

36:24

education colleges are going to be

36:27

replaced with online education being

36:29

experts because you've actually done it versus

36:31

you've studied it is going to radically shift

36:33

things. And I think that

36:35

we're going to see the collective IQ

36:37

coming together and women getting compensated

36:41

adequately for their wisdom. And when we do

36:43

that, we heal our lineage. And

36:47

so there's just so much power. Our daughters

36:49

get to see this. And without

36:51

a question, we stand on the shoulders of all

36:53

the women that broke ceilings for

36:55

us so that we could even have this privileged

36:57

conversation around, how do we

36:59

have freedom four hours a day? Like,

37:02

that was not a conversation a hundred years ago,

37:04

50 years ago, when we were children,

37:07

it is now though. And

37:09

when we do this, we're going to see a generations

37:11

of young girls cruising in going. I

37:14

get to get paid for my brilliance.

37:17

Yeah. And It's not a hobby and It's not

37:19

a little thing and It's not a side, Oh,

37:21

that little thing you're doing or whatever.

37:24

Yeah. Yes.

37:26

your shoe money, it's, it's, life

37:28

changing money that can support your family

37:30

and, and maybe at some point

37:32

give our husbands this gift, which Colleen and

37:34

I talk a lot about, like one day I

37:37

would like to give my husband the gift of like, I'm bringing

37:39

in enough income that join me over here in this four

37:41

hour workday doing what you're passionate about.

37:44

Come on over bud, because we see

37:46

middle aged men that, that midlife

37:48

crisis. Is because they're fucking

37:50

miserable grinding also. But

37:52

the world is telling them they have to do it. Like

37:54

it's been telling us. We're breaking free from

37:56

it. not there

37:59

yet. But hopefully we'll be able to invite them into

38:01

this fun side of life soon.

38:04

Yeah, I think, and I

38:06

also think like as women rise, it's

38:08

not at the cost of the masculine,

38:10

but it requires the masculine to show up

38:13

differently. So

38:15

they're in a, they're in a space

38:17

of confusion of how

38:19

do we be strong

38:22

men who are taking our,

38:24

you know, in a, in a non toxic way?

38:26

How are we adding to

38:28

the conversation? Well, there's not a lot of examples

38:30

out there. celebrated of

38:32

really amazing men who make space

38:35

for women without having to diminish themselves.

38:38

So we're, we're in this not,

38:41

it's not, like we're all being

38:43

renegotiated in our roles.

38:45

Women have to rise and speak and,

38:48

and be paid for our genius.

38:51

We have not, well, there's wounds for

38:53

us around that. I've not met a woman who

38:55

doesn't, who isn't insecure about how she prices

38:58

herself. It's like every

39:00

woman is afraid of how to price and, and

39:02

even negotiating. I used to tell any woman

39:04

that worked for my companies or I was a consultant

39:06

for is like only 30 percent of women

39:08

will ever negotiate a salary. What?

39:12

But like men, 95

39:15

percent of them will negotiate. So who's

39:17

going to get paid more?

39:20

Like we have work to do around this, but

39:22

the men also have work to

39:23

And the conversations have to be had. Right.

39:25

I saw this it was like a meme, but it was somebody's story

39:27

who was like, I came from,

39:30

you know, not poverty, but, but

39:32

not a wealthy family. And so when I got this

39:34

job in tech, you know,

39:37

they offer, you know, like I asked for

39:39

a hundred thousand dollars and they gave me 120

39:41

and I was so proud until I found out everyone

39:43

else was making one 50 and

39:46

it's because we're not having these conversations. We

39:48

haven't in the past. I think the conversations are having

39:50

now and you're doing that obviously. And we're trying

39:53

to create a platform for that. But

39:57

we have felt shame about money. We have felt

39:59

shame about asking money. We've been made to

40:01

feel shameful for asking for more.

40:03

Like you should be so lucky to get

40:05

what you get. Right. But, but

40:09

to your point of like, whatever

40:11

is shifting in the universe, like we're

40:13

asking for it now and

40:16

we're coming for it and you better

40:18

get ready because. We want

40:20

to get paid. We got bills. We got

40:22

kids. We got things. We got travel.

40:24

We got to do stuff. We've got four hours in the day. We're

40:26

going to work because then we got to do the other stuff. Right?

40:28

Like, and I can,

40:30

I can feel that shift. And I,

40:33

you know, part of me was like, well, maybe it's just because Cheryl

40:35

and I have both worked on curating our, our

40:37

online, like our social media and such.

40:39

So that's what we're being feeded. But I

40:42

feel so validated by you saying like,

40:44

no, no, no, this is happening.

40:46

This is coming. And, and, and it's, Universal.

40:51

You were afraid you were in an echo chamber and it wasn't

40:53

really

40:53

Yeah. I was, I,

40:55

Is that

40:55

yeah. Like I felt like I was like, maybe I'm just making this echo

40:57

chamber for myself because I need it. I

40:59

need some cheerleaders. I

41:02

need to believe.

41:03

Mm hmm.

41:03

Yeah.

41:05

Well, and we may be on the forefront, Paden, you,

41:07

me, like, on the forefront of, like, this is

41:09

what's coming. So maybe it is a little bit of an echo chamber,

41:12

but then we're all gonna stand up on our platforms,

41:14

Paden, you, me, and be yelling

41:16

that, you guys, this is happening, join us,

41:18

please, let's go.

41:21

Yeah. 100%.

41:23

I love the vision of the matriarchy.

41:26

And it's so interesting because at first I thought

41:28

the matriarchy was the inverse of the patriarchy.

41:31

Just like women in all positions

41:33

of power trickling down. That's not what

41:35

a matriarchy is. It's

41:38

women organizing

41:41

a collective of all genders,

41:43

all ages, all talents,

41:45

making respected, like,

41:48

Basically validating every individual

41:50

contribution to the collective and

41:52

caring about the well being of all as peers.

41:55

no power over in matriarchy.

41:59

Now that I think everyone

42:01

benefits from. So we're also

42:03

looking at the collapse

42:05

of traditional hierarchies. And

42:08

so systems like the political system

42:10

are getting pressured right now. aren't

42:13

excited about the way things are being

42:15

trickled down. They aren't excited about the power

42:17

grabs. We're seeing this in so many

42:19

different areas that to me, it's like women

42:22

will rise. And when

42:24

we do, we will not see what's going

42:26

on in Gaza because women would never

42:28

let that happen. I really believe

42:30

that. I know this isn't like a political

42:33

space, but it could be anything. Whatever,

42:35

wherever there's conflict in the world right now,

42:38

where babies are being hurt, And

42:40

leverage for political gain. You would not

42:42

see that happening. If women were in charge,

42:45

we would negotiate what Colleen said,

42:48

a win win. How

42:50

do we make this happen? So

42:53

I just, I feel it. Like, I feel like it's

42:55

so true and it's coming. And if us speaking

42:57

that into the world helps

43:00

to create residence in the hearts of

43:02

the listeners and the women listening, and that creates

43:05

in itself, the wave that we need to

43:07

take it over, like, let's do it.

43:10

Like,

43:10

And it's not at the cost of men, it's in

43:13

favor of humanity.

43:14

Like we fricking ride at dawn.

43:17

Let's go. We're all coming together.

43:20

Get in the minivan because that's

43:22

what we're doing. Like that's what we're doing now. Okay.

43:25

Like, just like,

43:26

Yes.

43:27

to just pull people into our echo chamber,

43:29

like person by person, then it's no longer

43:32

an echo chamber. It's just an environment that we've

43:34

created.

43:37

Yes.

43:37

I love it. Okay, Paden,

43:40

I feel like we could go on and on and on and on. But

43:43

tell people where they can hear more of what

43:45

you're saying and how they can connect with you because

43:47

I'm certain that you have a zillion new fans

43:50

after today.

43:51

Awesome. Well, you can certainly connect

43:53

with me on TikTok and Instagram my

43:55

favorites. It's @PadenHughes

43:58

or Padenhughes. com. And then I link

44:00

all the things, the podcast, the book,

44:03

coaching, anything that feels

44:05

resonant, my freebies that I'm always stripping

44:07

out to my email list. I just send people stuff

44:09

that I've geeked out on that I had a breakthrough

44:12

around. And so if that speaks

44:14

to you, you're welcome to jump

44:16

into that world.

44:18

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time. I know you

44:20

are a busy lady and

44:23

we so appreciate it.

44:25

Thank you for having me.

44:27

Have a good one.

44:28

You too.