0:00

Well, here's the thing. I have two narratives I create when someone

0:02

doesn't get back to me. Number one, they're mad at

0:04

me, but number two in this, I go to this one

0:06

more often is All my friends must be

0:08

planning me a surprise party nobody's

0:10

answering. So they're all

0:12

together planning me a surprise party.

0:15

That is not what I expected as

0:49

Hello again, my friends.

0:50

friends.

0:52

Hi.

0:53

special friend today here that we're so

0:55

excited about always having every

0:57

single day of our life in our life. Cheryl,

1:01

do the honors.

1:04

Welcome Susie Adamson back

1:06

to the podcast

1:07

Thank you.

1:08

flyer.

1:10

Thank you.

1:12

We're so happy to have you. We talk about you every day, every

1:14

minute. We're obsessed with you. You're our mentor.

1:17

friend, and we love you.

1:19

I'm here every time, just lurking

1:21

in the background in.

1:29

I wish you would text us. I, I know

1:31

the feeling because my other friend has podcasts

1:33

and I'll be listening and I'm like, no. Oh,

1:36

and I'll text her. I text both of the hosts

1:38

all the time. Like as I'm listening,

1:40

I'm like, I realize you recorded this three weeks ago,

1:42

but here I am.

1:43

Doesn't matter if I text you because it's

1:46

Susie, for those people who

1:49

are, maybe this is the first time they're listening to

1:51

us. This is the first episode they're listening to.

1:54

Can you tell us who you are? Tell

1:56

us what you do.

1:57

Sure. Well, both

2:00

of your BI

2:03

live in Pennsylvania. I'm a mom

2:05

to two college boys. I

2:07

am a wife. I'm a dog mom,

2:10

and I am a realtor

2:13

and I'm a coach. So I

2:16

moved to Pennsylvania last summer

2:19

and starting up a new real estate

2:21

team to be announced in

2:24

short order. And that I'm also

2:26

a process and systems coach, which

2:28

is.

2:29

She's made me passionate about it too. Ladies and

2:32

gentlemen,

2:32

I don't think I made you passionate about it. You

2:35

were already passionate about it.

2:37

I was,

2:37

She has made me.

2:39

the spreadsheet.

2:40

Much more interested in processes

2:42

where prior I was like, I don't even,

2:45

but wasn't even in my universe to be honest.

2:47

And now I feel like it's the thing that I talk about

2:50

all the time and to so many people,

2:52

like, I'm like, okay, well

2:54

was literally, excited.

2:56

I was in a parent's association meeting

2:58

yesterday morning and

3:01

you

3:01

would be so proud. We were talking about, and

3:04

the athletic department or whatever and you

3:06

know, modifications that are needed there. And I

3:08

was like, okay, we don't need to reinvent

3:10

the wheel here. Like where can we go

3:12

to find the processes and the efficiencies that

3:14

other schools are using? And everyone

3:17

looked at me like, oh wow.

3:19

Wow. You are just so

3:23

smart. I was

3:25

like,

3:26

I love that and isn't that

3:28

the best compliment is to help someone

3:31

else look, you know, really great

3:33

and shine when you're not

3:35

there. That makes me so proud. But

3:37

you know, getting people excited about processes

3:40

and systems is akin to my

3:43

lifetime mission to have

3:45

everyone love Brussels sprouts. I

3:51

love to take the things that historically

3:54

people have shunned or

3:56

said no to, and

3:58

find a way, get.

4:01

Well, I.

4:02

That's wonderful. I do love Brussel Sprout and

4:04

I. Processes.

4:07

You did it for me, girl. Okay.

4:09

So today we're gonna talk about something

4:12

incredible female friendships.

4:14

And we're so excited because we

4:17

have a lot of friends. You guys are our friends

4:19

and we are friends with each other. And

4:22

I know Susie feels passionately about this, do

4:25

I. Well,

4:27

I wanna start with this baller statistic

4:30

that I came across this morning, and

4:33

it's. Related to the professional

4:35

advantages that women have from having

4:38

a strong personal network, especially

4:40

those who have one to three friends in

4:42

leadership positions are

4:45

more likely to have higher authority and pay.

4:47

This suggests a significant professional advantage

4:50

from strong female friendships, and

4:52

that comes from the well by Northwell,

4:54

which isn't dot edu. So it must be

4:56

That seems legit.

4:57

smart

4:58

Yeah.

4:59

Yes. Legit. So

5:02

I just, I look at this and then I

5:04

think about like our Compass Mom collective group,

5:07

and I

5:09

know that I have felt so

5:11

inspired and I feel like I've really risen while

5:13

we've worked together and collaborated together

5:15

and built our friendships over the last year and a half,

5:18

almost two years. How do you guys feel?

5:20

Same.

5:21

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think

5:23

that. And I've

5:25

said this many times,

5:27

but I feel like that group

5:29

of women, one was like

5:31

a magical unicorn of women that came

5:34

together at the right time

5:36

in everybody's right place in their life

5:39

to really support each other and really

5:41

add value. And it has probably been.

5:45

One of the most important things in my career

5:48

in the last year and a half, the thing that has expanded

5:52

my business, my life,

5:54

my everything, my

5:57

bank account, all of it. And

5:59

it, and it comes down to the fact that

6:01

like, yes, we're all professionals,

6:04

we're all, you know, have, are

6:06

entrepreneurs, but also like, and

6:09

we're all women.

6:11

But we also just really like each

6:13

other and really like there

6:15

is a real friendship there, and

6:17

that doesn't always happen in every

6:20

networking group that you're in or every situation

6:23

that you're in.

6:24

I feel similarly with my

6:26

Bunco group that that started a year ago.

6:28

Like those friendships really. Improved

6:32

the quality of my life over

6:34

the last year. And I'm not

6:36

a person. I'm not like I, I often will see

6:39

like in the mom Facebook groups where women are like,

6:41

I need friends. Is anybody looking for a friend?

6:43

I'm not that person. I have friends.

6:46

I have many, many, many

6:48

dear friends. actually rebranding

6:50

best friend to dear friend because

6:53

I don't want to rate

6:55

or like what's the word? Like, yeah, I don't want to

6:57

like.

6:58

Of friendship.

6:59

Yeah, there's no hierarchy. I just have many, many dear

7:01

friends and I'm very fortunate

7:04

in that I've got dear friends that came

7:06

from my childhood and I still talk to

7:08

regularly. I have new friends, I

7:10

have medium friends, I have situational

7:12

friends, activity friends. I

7:16

enjoy people a lot, which is why I've chosen

7:19

the professions that I've chosen. But, just having

7:21

these connections with like regular

7:23

communication with these people has

7:26

really, really, really improved

7:28

my quality of life, and I'm very happy.

7:30

With that, which actually

7:33

those two groups has motivated a new

7:35

endeavor. Colleen and I are working on the InspireHER

7:37

Collective which I've created one in

7:40

San Luis Obispo. She's opening a chapter in Indianapolis,

7:42

and we're fine tuning how we can push

7:45

this out to. More

7:47

people to help them establish

7:49

these groups that hopefully will uplift and

7:52

bring more value to your lives as well. Kind of around

7:54

this talking point of like surround yourself

7:56

with the women in authority, the leaders

7:59

so that you can rise because God,

8:01

I have felt so much confidence. Rising

8:05

and I'm in a room reiterating

8:07

what Susie's told me or what Jen has said or what

8:09

Colleen said, I'm in a room here

8:11

saying these things and people are looking at me like, smokes,

8:14

you're so smart. You're so amazing. And I'm like,

8:17

I'm just ripping off and duplicating at this point,

8:19

and amazing

8:22

that I have surrounded myself with these people

8:24

that have given me so much knowledge

8:27

and

8:28

insights.

8:29

Well, I think you can take credit for the fact that you

8:31

have surrounded yourself with those people and that you

8:33

recognize the strengths that are

8:36

around you and. This

8:40

is where, you know, I feel like I

8:42

can add some, a dimension for

8:45

you youngins, because the

8:47

older I get, the more I, the

8:49

more I just appreciate,

8:52

frankly appreciate and surrender to

8:54

how little I know. You

8:56

know, and I think when you

8:59

can grow in your humility about

9:01

that, not a like, and I,

9:03

I love the definition of humility that

9:05

CS Lewis says,

9:07

humility is not thinking less

9:10

of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.

9:14

That when we think about ourselves less,

9:17

the more you can really appreciate

9:19

and absorb and. Just

9:22

suck up like a sponge. All the strengths

9:25

of the people around you, because it

9:27

really is that beautiful,

9:30

you know, multifaceted life that we

9:32

can need that just helps us get

9:34

through this very difficult

9:36

existence. No matter what you're going

9:39

through, we, you know, it just,

9:41

it's hard, man. Life is hard

9:44

and it. Surrounding

9:48

yourself with at least a handful

9:50

of people you can trust and

9:53

lean on who can bolster

9:56

you up. I mean, I've called each of you

9:58

and I've been like, uh,

10:01

Yeah.

10:01

not gonna make any money. Or,

10:04

you know, I call their friends

10:06

and when I'm really in

10:08

a dark place and say, I don't want live

10:11

anymore, you know, those are, if you

10:13

don't have anybody there, which. I

10:16

know there are a lot of people in that circumstance,

10:18

and that just makes me really

10:20

overwhelmingly emotional because what

10:23

a sad life when you don't have people

10:25

you can trust and.

10:28

Yeah, and I, I really love what

10:30

you said about. Intentionally

10:33

putting yourself in those places and intentionally

10:35

choosing those people. Because

10:38

sometimes, we'll we will be like,

10:41

oh, well I'm in this group and I just happen

10:43

to be in this group. And you know,

10:45

you kind of like think,

10:47

oh, well it's just chance, but no,

10:49

like, it's very intentional

10:51

and it can be very intentional Who.

10:54

It should be who you're choosing to

10:56

spend your time with. And we talked

10:58

to Despi Mayes about like energy management,

11:01

and I think that is so important.

11:04

You know, I leave every time I talk to you

11:06

guys or every time I leave one of our CMC

11:08

meetings or, or this podcast

11:10

or whatever, and I am fulfilled

11:14

and I am happy and I'm

11:16

confident I might leave

11:18

going, oh wow, I can be better or

11:21

whatever.

11:21

But. I never leave

11:24

feeling like shit. And

11:27

I think we need to really use

11:29

that as a barometer of how we're spending our time

11:31

and who we're spending our time with. Like

11:34

if you're leaving a situation or

11:36

a conversation or whatever,

11:38

with with, with the feeling

11:40

of. Low

11:43

self-worth or ugliness

11:45

or ickiness. Like, sometimes

11:47

you can't even put a word to it and you're just like, I

11:49

didn't feel, I don't feel great

11:52

after that interaction. Like, talk

11:55

about this, but like, it's okay to just not

11:58

hang out with those people. I'm having

12:00

a situation right now where.

12:04

A friendship where I feel like that friendship is evolving

12:06

as I evolve and,

12:09

and sometimes, and I'm having, and I've been talking to

12:11

Cheryl about this and, and she was just like,

12:13

is this, is this friendship

12:15

serving you anymore? And I

12:17

think sometimes it's hard to.

12:20

I also mentioned to my husband, he's like, well, maybe

12:22

you just don't need to be friends with that person anymore. I was like, yeah,

12:25

I can see that. But it's also, I feel like I've invested

12:27

so much time and energy into

12:29

this friendship that I should hold

12:31

onto it. And so it's not easy

12:34

to let those things go, but I think,

12:36

you know, when you, and it might

12:38

take time, but you know when you need to.

12:41

When it might not be, like, you don't need to

12:43

break up necessarily. Maybe you just take

12:45

a step back and you like slowly let it fizzle.

12:48

And if you realize

12:50

you miss it, then you can reignite

12:54

it. And if you don't, or

12:56

maybe you'll see that that person really isn't even

12:58

putting in effort. That's the other thing, like is

13:00

it a mutual, know,

13:02

there's, the friendships aren't always mutual the

13:05

way. But you might need it

13:07

to be, I can't. I mean, there's so many

13:10

serving like people that just

13:12

come from a place of service and like they want

13:15

to pour into their friendships and they give

13:17

and give and give and then that person

13:19

needs something and they just, I. Don't

13:22

get the same back. That's

13:24

so heartbreaking. Like one of my very dear friends

13:27

is that person where she will give and give and give

13:29

and give and give and give. And then I

13:31

watch and I try to give and give and give

13:33

to her because I can see that's her love language.

13:36

And I so often see other friends

13:38

in her life that aren't, and she very often

13:41

feels taken advantage of. And it's like heartbreaking

13:44

to see that. To your point, Colleen,

13:46

it's the, you know, the

13:49

cliche quote, like, people come into your life for

13:51

a reason, a season or a lifetime.

13:53

Not every friend is gonna be a lifetime friend.

13:57

are, some are, and some are gonna serve

13:59

a season, and some are gonna be there

14:01

for a lesson.

14:03

Yeah.

14:04

I think the older I get, the more I, I

14:06

see the seasons of my life, you

14:08

know, that like people do.

14:13

Serve you and you serve them during

14:15

certain seasons, and

14:17

they're going to be the people who ride out

14:20

the seasons, and then they're going to be the people

14:22

who don't. And that's

14:24

okay. I think that that's the, like,

14:27

you know, I've had a couple of friendships recently that

14:29

I've had to just let go of lot

14:31

long time friendships and

14:34

they have evolved to a new stage

14:37

or a different place. I

14:41

take the time to mourn that because

14:43

it is a, a death of

14:45

a sort, right? It's an it takes

14:48

adjusting and

14:50

then to like really welcome the next

14:53

season of whatever my life is

14:55

gonna be. But especially in

14:57

this move from

14:59

New Jersey to Pennsylvania, I have really

15:02

embraced the opportunity to let

15:04

go of a. Energy

15:07

draining relationships and it has

15:09

been the highlight

15:12

of this particular season. I,

15:14

I didn't even realize how it's

15:17

very akin to actually, when I moved from

15:19

New Northern New Jersey at one point to

15:21

North Carolina years and years ago, it

15:24

took a good six months or so to

15:27

adjust to. Absence

15:30

of the stress that comes from living in

15:32

a metro area, right? So like when

15:34

you live in a very congested

15:36

area and you deal with simple

15:39

things like the tyranny of parking,

15:42

I would call it, you know, like

15:44

that, driving around for half an hour

15:46

and wanting to leave your car in the street and cry

15:48

because you. Moving

15:52

to a place where there's just parking lots everywhere.

15:54

And like all those micro stresses that

15:56

you get used to, it's like going to the doctor and they

15:58

say, what's your level of pain? You

16:00

say, oh, it's normal. It's six.

16:02

You know, and they're like, that's not normal.

16:05

So I realized after being in North Carolina

16:07

for a while, everyone was so nice

16:09

and everyone was just at a slower pace.

16:12

And you know, I deal with

16:15

and. And

16:18

I feel like it's the same way here where

16:20

I am now, just

16:23

kind of breathing in a different air

16:25

of relationships. You know, like

16:27

only allowing the people

16:30

that are, I don't think

16:32

the, for me, it's about serving

16:34

me, but the relationships

16:37

that are fruitful and productive

16:40

and healthy, the

16:42

relationships where it's not unbalanced,

16:45

where it. Just

16:48

a drain, like you were saying, Colleen,

16:50

like that, it's that I leave a conversation

16:53

or where I feel

16:55

like someone just asked me the other day what my

16:57

Achilles heel is, and my

16:59

Achilles heel is not being understood,

17:02

not feeling understood, or being misunderstood,

17:05

Yeah.

17:06

especially when you're in a relationship and

17:08

the two of you know this about me. What

17:12

you see is what you get. I'm all out there.

17:14

I'm super willing to be vulnerable.

17:17

I give of myself really freely. And so

17:19

when people don't receive that in

17:22

the spirit that I offer

17:24

it and you know, if they

17:26

take my forthrightness

17:29

to be something other than it

17:31

is, or, you know get

17:34

hurt when I say things

17:36

that I don't mean to be hurtful or whatever

17:38

the case may be, that I feel. That's

17:41

so painful and like I

17:45

just, I don't really want those people in

17:47

my life anymore. I don't want people, I

17:49

absolutely want to grow and learn,

17:52

right? All of us should. It's

17:54

not fun. I don't wanna see, get

17:56

criticism, but when I

17:58

receive it in love, I re I

18:00

respect that. I want, that. I wanna

18:02

grow all day long. But

18:05

if it's a, like, you

18:07

know. I

18:09

wish you hadn't done that. That was really mean, or

18:12

that was not nice. What?

18:16

You know, why did you do that? I

18:18

think that happens what, even in our marriages,

18:20

right? Like, I've been married now

18:23

for 24 years

18:25

in a couple weeks and. I

18:27

still have to say to my husband like, stop

18:30

getting so defensive. I'm not

18:32

trying to hurt your feelings. I'm just

18:34

speaking the truth. And like, I want you to

18:37

grow. Right? And of course I can

18:39

learn to say things differently, but

18:42

anyway, now I'm rambling. But I just, I

18:44

really think there's a beauty in

18:47

filtering your friendships.

18:49

and I think there is also

18:53

this, like we've said, said it now a couple times,

18:56

like just how you continue to grow and evolve.

19:00

You can decide whether your friendships,

19:02

and this is a perfect example with a marriage,

19:05

right? Like you see marriages

19:07

fall apart because of people grow apart, right?

19:10

Or you see marriages stay together because

19:12

the people evolve

19:14

with each other and are willing to have those conversations

19:17

and willing to have, you

19:20

know, that friendship. Like when it

19:22

comes down to marriage, I love

19:24

my husband so much, but what I say is that, that

19:26

we are really good friends too,

19:29

right? And, and

19:31

that takes work and that takes.

19:34

Evolution and that takes conversations

19:37

that are not always right?

19:41

And that, but that's all real friendship. And I think

19:43

one of the things that I heard years

19:45

ago about relationships, and I think it, it was about,

19:48

you know, like romantic relationships, but also

19:50

I think it has a lot to do with friendships

19:52

is don't

19:55

expect one person to

19:57

fulfill all of your needs.

20:00

Like, that's unrealistic.

20:02

My therapist had to tell me that. When

20:05

Alex and I were in early in couples therapy,

20:08

and because Alex and I started.

20:10

Therapy together when we were together

20:12

for six months. Not because we had a problem really,

20:15

but I, that's when I was diagnosed with the kidney disease,

20:17

we did terminate the pregnancy. We went

20:19

through a lot of grief and loss together things

20:21

got really hard. And so we started therapy

20:24

so that we could have tools

20:26

to get through the next hard part rather

20:28

than waiting till the fucking wheels were falling

20:30

off. Which, you know, they eventually did,

20:32

but at least we had some tools to get through it. But

20:34

she told me, she's like, he can't be everything.

20:37

Like he can't be, he can't be

20:39

all those things for you, Cheryl. You need more

20:41

people. And I didn't under, I

20:43

guess I, I don't know why I thought that my

20:46

partner was supposed to be that,

20:48

Yeah. And.

20:49

now I, he is one of my closest

20:52

dearest friends. I mean, I want

20:54

to spend all my time with him if I could.

20:57

And. But sometimes I

20:59

forget to tell 'em things 'cause I've told all my other friends things

21:02

and I'm like, oh yeah, we not talking about that. I

21:04

have put other people in place

21:06

And sometimes you have to have those other people

21:09

just like you would.

21:10

I don't,

21:10

I, it's a ugly metaphor, but like a

21:12

toolbox, right? When you're like,

21:14

listen, I really need somebody to like

21:17

encourage me. I. It might not

21:19

be your spouse. It, it could be,

21:21

but it might not be. It might be your girlfriend that you call up

21:23

and you're like, listen, I just nailed

21:26

this photo.

21:26

Shoot. Check out my photos, X, Y,

21:29

and Z. And they're gonna be like, yes, girl, you freaking

21:31

killed it. your husband's like, wow,

21:33

those look really nice. And you're like, Hmm, that's

21:35

not exactly the response I wanted. Or

21:38

you know, like, it

21:40

was so funny. We did this Cheryl and I did our

21:42

first webinar and Susie was on

21:44

and I texted her afterwards and I was like. I'm

21:47

super confident person. Right. And

21:50

I texted her afterwards, I was like, Hey, how'd I do? Did I sound

21:52

smart? Because I felt nervous

21:54

about that, you know? And,

21:56

but I knew that, I knew that if I texted

21:58

Susie, she'd be like, she'd

22:02

gimme the real deal. But in like the kindest,

22:04

most productive way,

22:06

you know? And I think, you

22:08

know, as we get older

22:10

and. the answer was yes. You totally

22:12

smart just to.

22:14

Yeah, thank you. But I think as we get, as

22:16

you, I don't wanna keep saying

22:18

older, like as you continue to grow as a person,

22:20

and by the way, everyone who's listening, Susie

22:22

keeps saying she's old. She's not

22:24

old at all. Like I don't want people thinking

22:27

here, like you're sort of like

22:29

elderly

22:30

I mean, I'm 54 and

22:32

totally proud of it, but just saying,

22:34

you know, with age comes experience

22:37

and wisdom and so like, you know, there is something

22:39

to it.

22:40

but it's.

22:40

I don't downplay

22:41

Putting

22:42

all those tools together as you continue

22:44

to go through life, right? Like

22:46

we are

22:47

often expected to have

22:49

it all together

22:51

right away,

22:53

and

22:54

I wanna, I wanna touch on something you

22:56

said Colleen, about actually

22:58

both of you, about just having other people around

23:01

you, not just your husband, because it makes

23:03

me think of another CS Lewis quote or

23:05

why I'm quoting him so much today. But this is part

23:08

of a sermon that I heard years and years

23:10

ago about why we need to be in community.

23:14

Our faith walk because

23:16

he was talking about how his friendships with

23:18

like JR Tolkien and his, what

23:21

they called the inklings, this group of writers

23:23

said when one of them died, they

23:26

expected that they would get to spend more

23:28

time with the other people and then get to know them

23:30

better. But in fact, they

23:32

knew them less because the perspective

23:34

that that person brought about

23:37

each other was unique.

23:39

And I just think that's such a beautiful

23:42

reminder that. The

23:44

more we surround ourselves with people

23:46

who give us different perspectives, the

23:48

better we learn about our, you know, the more we

23:50

learn about ourselves and about the people around

23:53

us, right? Because they, they just see different

23:55

things. They see different aspects

23:57

of you and bring out different things in you.

24:00

But I do find that like the, you know, this,

24:03

it also made me think just to get off on another.

24:06

Tangent makes me think that this is also

24:08

why we all need a personal

24:10

mission statement. Like, you know, I'm always talking

24:13

in my coaching about how important it's to have

24:15

your mission statement for work. I

24:17

think the more you know yourself

24:20

and what your purpose is and what your

24:22

values are, the better

24:25

you can filter the people around you

24:27

so that you can actually

24:29

have people that are. In

24:32

the same lane, you know, in the same, at least

24:34

in the same street, not

24:36

going to multiple different destinations.

24:38

And I think we do this sort of subconsciously,

24:42

but sometimes we don't. Sometimes

24:44

because of circumstances, like we're in the same

24:46

dorm or we're in the same job, or we're

24:48

all moms. We collect

24:50

people that are not in that same.

24:54

Right. And then it's hard to let

24:56

them go. And I have found

24:58

that like when I moved here, I said to my sister,

25:01

you may just be my only friend here because

25:04

my criteria has now become, if

25:07

you aren't super substantive

25:10

and or super funny. Then

25:13

I'm not gonna spend time with you because

25:16

I just don't have the energy anymore. You

25:18

know, like I don't, I don't want that. I don't

25:20

wanna just collect people in my life and

25:23

fill up my nights. That's not interesting to me.

25:25

So, you know, I've been able to like

25:27

whittle down to what's really important. I do

25:29

have friends, not local

25:32

like you guys who are just so

25:34

substantive. Right? That's the other thing, like

25:36

the more meaningful

25:39

relations you have, the C Chos,

25:41

you

25:41

Yeah.

25:43

You let in.

25:44

For sure. Cheryl mentioned

25:46

this analogy the other night in our webinar

25:48

about like a sieve and like filtering

25:51

out stuff. And so

25:53

I had a similar situation where obviously I moved

25:55

from California to here. Right. And

25:57

I had two friends here. Two

26:00

friends, and that's it. No family,

26:02

two friends. And I really

26:04

had to. You

26:06

know, as much as as, as an as

26:09

enthusiastic as I am and outgoing

26:12

as I am at

26:14

my core, I'm really like an introverted person,

26:16

which I think is, or like an introvert, like I think

26:19

that that is something people would never think about me. But

26:21

as a child, I was very shy

26:23

and whatever. But I really

26:25

had to go out and I've had this

26:27

conversation with a friend of mine. She's like, I, why

26:29

don't people. Call me or

26:31

whatever, you know? And I'm like, sometimes you just

26:33

have to be the person that,

26:35

that puts yourself out there constantly

26:39

at the start. And

26:41

then through your sieve you

26:44

start to filter out, right?

26:47

So you open up, like if you're in a new place. 'cause there's

26:49

gonna be, there's lots of people who are like, I don't have any friends.

26:51

How do I make friends? And it's like.

26:53

Well, you gotta go out there and you gotta

26:55

talk to people and you have to be the one that's initiating

26:58

the conversations. And you have to be the one who

27:00

is interested enough in other people

27:02

to ask them about themselves. And

27:05

then you start to see like,

27:07

who are my people?

27:09

And, and I really believe this 'cause I'm

27:11

a kid who moved around a lot when

27:14

I was growing up and I became like an expert

27:16

at friend making because of that. And

27:19

the first person that you connect with

27:21

may not be. Your

27:23

best friend, right? But that might

27:25

be the starting point. And they might be

27:27

a really lovely person, but you

27:29

know, they might not be the person who's

27:31

going to be your person.

27:33

So you just keep evolving and you keep

27:36

kind of finding people and finding

27:38

friends. And until you get to the point where,

27:40

where you're at, Susie, where you're like, I, no,

27:43

not you. I know. I know you already. No, not

27:45

you already. I know not you already, but you,

27:47

you look interesting. I'm gonna feel you

27:49

out.

27:50

Well, not everybody. Not everybody might

27:52

not end up being like

27:54

Susie, Susie could walk through the house she's living

27:56

in for five minutes and knew she was gonna buy

27:58

it. just a very fast processor

28:01

and that might not be how everybody, where

28:03

everybody gets, but I think when

28:05

like creating these new friendships.

28:08

Making these connections. I think it's

28:10

important to remember that we all need to

28:12

start with an open heart and an

28:14

open mind when we're making these connections.

28:17

And just like, and then just see

28:19

what happens. Like just come

28:22

with your truest intentions and your best intentions

28:24

and have an open mind and understand like this

28:26

new person that you're being exposed to. Like I,

28:29

I literally could be friends

28:31

with anybody because I. I

28:34

am able to understand that like

28:36

that person's unique path took

28:38

them to where they are and has made them that person.

28:40

And I probably have something I could learn

28:42

from them or enjoy. Now

28:45

there are like literally on, I could count

28:47

on one hand the number of people that I'm like, yeah, I don't actually

28:49

would, I don't think I'd really wanna be their friend or I

28:51

couldn't enjoy a friendly conversation

28:54

with them, let's put it that way. But

28:56

it's, it's 'cause I have an open heart and open

28:58

mind and it's not like. I'll

29:00

be best friends with everybody, but I will

29:02

be friendly with like 98%

29:05

of the world. And sometimes

29:07

being friendly leads to like brand new friendships at

29:09

38. Like I'm making new friends constantly

29:12

and hear

29:14

so often how hard it's to make adult

29:16

friendships.

29:18

I'm the opposite in that I really, I'm

29:20

like Colleen, like I, I've only recently

29:23

discovered, I think I am probably

29:25

more of an introvert than I thought.

29:28

I really love being with people who give

29:30

me energy, but I hate

29:32

small talk. You guys probably know that about

29:34

me, and in fact, I have

29:38

little social anxiety about it. Hate

29:42

small talk. I'm just

29:44

I don't think I have a lot of small talk. I

29:46

think I dive right past small

29:48

Well, that's the thing. I think if it's

29:50

like book, I don't like the book

29:53

in the first 20 pages,

29:55

then I'm gonna put it down

29:58

and I kind of feel that way about people.

30:00

If I can't have a real conversation

30:03

with somebody in the first. I

30:06

don't know, 10 minutes, then it's,

30:08

and like you can, you can feel chemistry, right?

30:10

Like, and, and don't get me wrong, I've been wrong

30:13

about a lot of people. My instincts

30:15

are not that great. But and, and

30:17

I would say at the same time, even though

30:19

I'm different from you in that way,

30:21

where ultimately I'm gonna sift out a lot. I

30:25

am constantly surprised and

30:27

you two are a perfect example.

30:30

I'm surprised and I allow my, I love

30:33

being surprised by the friendships that

30:35

I'm making even now. You know, like

30:38

I don't expect to be make, I think

30:40

in my thirties I was like, I don't

30:42

need anymore friends, guys. You

30:44

know? Like, I've got enough and they're really

30:46

good friends. I'm good. And

30:50

I am one of those people who was like, I

30:52

could have just one child because I wanna

30:54

pour into that person and every child

30:56

fractures my attention. You know,

30:59

I do have two kids. I'm grateful for them and

31:01

I love them, but like, I like, I

31:03

like concentration and so

31:05

I'm fine with just having a few friends

31:08

and just in the past

31:10

10 years, I. So

31:17

dear to me. Do you know? And

31:20

I just think that is so delightful.

31:22

Like it's so delightful.

31:25

I, think it's really funny

31:27

that you're like, I can talk to somebody in 10 minutes and

31:29

then be like, bye, because

31:31

I am kind

31:33

of like.

31:34

And I do. I'm like, bye, I gotta

31:36

bye. So I always tell this

31:38

story, my best friend

31:40

Shelby who I've talked about, we've been friends

31:42

for 20 years. She was the one

31:45

friend my, that lived here, one

31:48

of the two.

31:49

And the first time I met her, I tell the story

31:51

all the time. I was 19 years old, and

31:54

so we've been friends longer than 20 years. She's really

31:56

short and blonde. I

31:58

am not either of those things. And

32:01

I met her in the parking lot of our, of my

32:03

sophomore year before we were going into our class,

32:06

and she came up to me and she's like, hi, I'm Shelby.

32:08

Are you going into the class? And I was like, who

32:11

is this bitch Like.

32:14

Yeah, away from me. You

32:17

are a cheerleader girl

32:19

type thing, and I am.

32:21

You're very bubbly. And

32:23

I am really cool and

32:26

not that, and

32:28

I don't like you like,

32:31

and she knows this right. But

32:35

what I will say that I have learned is that I

32:37

will sometimes make a judgment about somebody, or

32:39

have done this in the past, where you make this initial judgment

32:41

about somebody and then they

32:43

start to kind of, I. Peel the

32:45

onion, if you will. Right. And

32:48

you start to kind of peel your onion

32:50

and you realize like, oh, actually, oh

32:53

wow, she's really cool. She's really

32:55

funny. Like,

32:56

mm-Hmm.

32:57

are some social veneers that we put

32:59

on initially, and a lot of people do

33:01

this. And so I,

33:03

I sometimes you have to get. You

33:06

have, Cheryl's great at this.

33:07

She's like, no bullshit. She gets right down to it.

33:10

She's like very real and you are

33:12

too Suzy. Like very real about like

33:14

who they are initially, right? But not

33:16

everybody is like that. And I find

33:19

sometimes if you're willing

33:21

to spend a little

33:23

bit more time, you can find some, some

33:25

really cool people who might have a little bit of like social.

33:28

Awkwardness or social anxiety

33:31

or something like, she was coming

33:33

into being really bubbly 'cause she was so

33:35

nervous. Like we joke all the time that she,

33:38

she always gets like really flustered and nervous

33:40

and like awkward in situations and we're like,

33:42

what are you doing? Like, be cool.

33:45

Like chill out. You're embarrassing because she's

33:47

so cool.

33:49

As I said, I'm often wrong. Like

33:52

I have more than one situation and one

33:54

very recently. So I don't know what the lesson

33:57

is here other than like, you know,

33:59

don't listen to me. But I recently

34:01

met this woman and I was like, oh gosh, not

34:03

my people. Totally. In

34:06

the first five minutes was like, bye-bye,

34:09

gotta go. And over the course

34:11

of the next few days, she

34:13

became one of my favorite people. Right. That happens

34:15

to me a lot. So I

34:17

do think there's, there

34:20

are times when I can sense

34:22

that it's gonna be too awkward, the conversation

34:25

isn't flowing, it's gonna be difficult, but

34:27

then yeah, like everybody's got a story.

34:29

And so that's why I say

34:32

like, you. While I do feel

34:34

like I can make quick judgements

34:36

about people, I'm also in the camp

34:38

of stay open and have

34:41

an open heart and mind because people

34:43

surprise you all the time

34:45

there's no science

34:46

And that's delightful.

34:48

There's no science to this. There's no rule book.

34:51

Is.

34:52

No

34:53

She just hasn't researched it yet.

34:55

There's.

34:56

Ask everything

35:03

I love,

35:03

do think though, just even in that story that

35:06

I just told about this person I just met,

35:08

it ultimately gets down to once I

35:10

found the Venn diagram

35:13

of our values and our

35:16

personalities, then it made sense.

35:18

Do you know what I mean? Like you

35:20

just ha, like you said, you have to peel

35:22

back enough. You have to allow that

35:24

enough, and sometimes it doesn't happen. But

35:28

yeah, just being open to that possibility

35:30

is. Is really

35:32

lovely. I think no matter

35:35

what age or stage you're in, you

35:38

can always be finding people that

35:40

add something to your life and vice

35:42

versa.

35:45

Well, and let's talk about friendships in

35:47

like very busy seasons of life, because

35:50

I often see. people

35:53

like it's a good friendship and then people

35:56

get busy and it's like three weeks go by and they

35:58

haven't responded to your text and like how

36:00

easy it is. I guess going back to

36:02

our episode about taking things personally, how

36:04

easy it is to take it personally and be like, oh,

36:06

they're just, they don't wanna be my friend

36:08

anymore, or I don't know what I did to them. Like all

36:10

of a sudden I'm creating this narrative in my head

36:12

that this person's mad at me. Well, here's the thing. I

36:14

have two narratives I create when someone doesn't get back to me.

36:17

Number one, they're mad at me, but number two

36:19

in this, I go to this one more often is All

36:21

my friends must be planning me a surprise party nobody's

36:25

answering. So they're all

36:27

together planning me a surprise party.

36:29

That is not what I expected as your second

36:32

scenario.

36:32

And you know what,

36:33

That is the filter that I generally go to

36:35

first as like probably just

36:37

to protect myself.

36:38

and I hate a surprise party, by

36:41

the way. I don't wa

36:43

I don't,

36:44

I don't think I've ever had one. I know why. I think

36:46

everybody's planning me. One, I don't think I've ever

36:47

well, maybe you're gonna get one now, but

36:50

it's, that is.

36:51

Well, good luck trying to surprise me, though. I'm

36:53

very intuitive. Like I smell bullshit

36:56

a mile away. I can, I can kind of read

36:58

what's going on, but it's

37:01

very easy and I think most people

37:03

fall into the camp where they're like, I must have done something

37:05

wrong. And they start creating a story in their head where

37:07

we're in a fight, you know, for lack

37:09

of a, a better, more eloquent way of putting

37:12

it. Like, oh, they must be mad at me. We're in a fight

37:14

where if we could all stop. And

37:16

give our friends, these people that we've chosen

37:19

as our friends, the benefit of the doubt

37:22

that like, oh, maybe they've even typed a response

37:25

and they just didn't hit send. Like, how often

37:27

does that happen? You know? Or

37:29

it's just like if we could slow down and

37:31

realize, like look at the life

37:33

that I'm like, I look at the life I have right now,

37:36

like it's fucking chaos all of

37:38

the time. Of course,

37:40

that person is the main character

37:42

in their story, and they're probably having chaos

37:44

too, so. To like slow

37:46

down and give that person the benefit of the doubt

37:48

and realize like while maybe this friendship

37:50

isn't feeling balanced right at this moment, I

37:53

maybe need some grace for that person who may

37:55

be having chaos over there on their

37:57

side of the, the story. So, I

38:00

would definitely encourage people to slow

38:03

down and give the benefit of the doubt

38:05

to people when you start to feel like the

38:08

victim. I also don't want you guys to feel

38:10

like the victim take control of your life.

38:12

I also think it would be nice if we could all

38:14

agree to, um, be

38:17

people who tell people when there's something

38:19

wrong. So like, you

38:21

know, I have a, a relatively new friendship

38:23

where she is.

38:26

It does jump to those conclusions. But

38:28

then she said to me, but I'm really

38:31

receiving that If there's something

38:33

wrong, you'll tell me. I was like, oh

38:35

yes, I'll, because I'm physically

38:38

incapable of not telling

38:40

you like it is a, it

38:42

is a strength and a weakness

38:45

of mine that I cannot not

38:48

tell you if something's bothering me. So

38:51

I think if we can all like, not

38:54

just to get it off our chest, but. In

38:56

the spirit of making sure that we're all

38:58

breeding healthy relationships, if we as

39:00

women can agree

39:04

to not be so afraid of

39:07

any potential conflict, like people say to

39:09

me all the time, oh, you like conflict. Nobody

39:11

likes conflict. That's just ridiculous.

39:14

But I'm not afraid of it. I'm not

39:16

afraid of it, and I don't avoid it because

39:20

I. There's no point

39:22

in that, right? Like if you do avoid the conflict,

39:24

it's gonna come out some other way. So

39:28

Worse.

39:28

all I, I just really hope that we

39:31

can grow in like, especially

39:33

women, but I know this is true for men

39:35

too, but it would be great if we could

39:37

just teach our children too. Like this is

39:39

another thing I try to teach

39:42

my kids to not hold on to things

39:46

and of course, express them in healthy and

39:48

productive ways. But also

39:50

don't fall into the societal

39:52

trap of just avoiding conflict

39:55

at all costs.

39:57

Yeah.

39:58

I think that this would be really helpful

40:00

framework too, is to tell,

40:02

like to be able to tell someone like I'm

40:05

feeling, I'm feeling upset, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

40:07

I'm feeling like this is an issue

40:09

for me. I'm not ready to talk about

40:11

it right now. Like I need to collect my thoughts on

40:13

it. So I'm gonna take a little bit of space while I do that.

40:15

Like that's also really, and,

40:18

and do take the pause before you

40:20

have the talk. Like don't be

40:22

angry and fly off the handle, like, and

40:24

do irre irreparable

40:26

damage. So

40:29

I think I'm like so fortunate. I dated

40:31

the same guy from the time I was 14 to 21

40:33

on and off. You know, we were obviously had a lot of growing up

40:35

and immaturity in that time. And I remember

40:38

the first fights we had, like when

40:40

we were really young, they were just so hot

40:42

and like angry and we'd

40:44

say things we shouldn't have said. I,

40:47

over that seven year period,

40:49

we really learned to fight more healthfully

40:52

and like disagree and have our conflict better.

40:54

And I feel like it has really, and then obviously

40:57

years of therapy, but it has really, it put

40:59

me ahead of the game. 'cause by 21

41:01

I had spent seven years learning

41:04

how to have conflict and then

41:06

move past it because you

41:08

can move past conflict

41:09

Yep. And you should, I. mean,

41:12

life is conflict, right? Life

41:14

is full of conflict. And if, and

41:16

that's what I like. I was on the board of Ed in our

41:18

old community and I said, part

41:21

I said to my husband one time, it is a good thing

41:23

that I'm not afraid of conflict because

41:25

it is nothing but conflict. Something

41:28

like that, right? And frankly, it's

41:30

nothing but conflict in real estate. It

41:32

nothing but conflict in families.

41:35

So if you don't learn how to deal with conflict,

41:38

then you're always gonna have unhealthy relationships.

41:41

Yeah. And figuring out what works for you too.

41:43

Like this situation that I'm having

41:45

where this person told me this really mean thing

41:47

the other day and I was like, well, why'd you tell

41:49

me that? But for me, I.

41:52

I wasn't ready to talk to her fully about that

41:54

because I was so hurt and I was so angry

41:58

and disappointed. I talked

42:00

to Cheryl about it. I talked to my husband about

42:02

it, and I talked to my friend Shelby about it, and

42:04

I needed to talk through it with people enough

42:07

for myself. I need to talk

42:09

through it and say I'm upset. This hurt

42:11

me this. To a point where

42:14

it didn't bother me anymore, and

42:16

now I feel like I can go back and talk to that person

42:19

and be like, listen, what you said was really hurtful

42:21

to me, but the hurt isn't

42:23

there anymore for me. I'm who

42:26

needs to. Verbally

42:29

say things to other people so

42:31

that I can get my communication across somebody

42:33

who's not gonna judge me, who's not gonna be upset

42:36

by what I'm saying, who can just hear me.

42:38

And you know, it's kind of just like word vomit,

42:41

but I wanna be like, listen, I'm really upset. This really upset

42:43

me and blah, blah, blah. And it took me, it took me

42:45

multiple conversations with, with three different

42:47

people that I trusted to.

42:50

And a lot of them were just like, a lot

42:53

of it was them telling me stuff, but also them

42:55

just listening. And then I think. Again,

42:57

going back to friendships, having those

42:59

people who can do that for

43:01

you and with you in

43:04

your life, and for me, I'm very lucky that I have

43:06

so many people who are willing to do that. Like

43:09

that makes me a better person and that makes

43:11

me a better friend, and that

43:14

makes me a better professional at what I'm

43:16

doing, you know, going. Very first quote

43:18

that Cheryl talked about about, you know,

43:21

having this group of really

43:23

high level executive accomplished

43:26

women is

43:30

the thing that continues to push me

43:32

higher and higher and higher in my career,

43:34

in my life.

43:36

Because the perspective you're getting from those

43:39

women is, is

43:41

different and above. Like, I like think about this

43:43

scenario you've painted, like you talked to three different people

43:45

about this scenario. Let's go back to high school.

43:48

A high school friendship. Like, you know what,

43:50

how that would've been received. Well, she was talking shit.

43:53

She, she talked shit to these three different

43:55

people and she was talking behind my back. 38-year-old,

43:58

Cheryl knows that

44:00

even if say I'm the person in

44:02

the wrong and my friends are discussing me,

44:05

they're processing. And that's fair.

44:08

That is totally fair. And I'm always teaching the au pairs

44:10

that like. You know,

44:12

like they're gonna, like, that person's gonna need to have somebody

44:15

to talk to about this. And it's totally normal.

44:17

And like it's all part of just processing it and

44:19

being okay with it, and then getting to a place where

44:21

you can then deal with it. Like

44:23

you have to, you have to take the sting

44:25

off of it before you're gonna be able to have a productive

44:27

conversation. And it's like in our marriages

44:30

or any friendship, any relationship, when

44:33

it gets. Hot

44:35

and angry, it's time to take a break

44:37

because you physiologically

44:39

need to take that 20 minutes to

44:42

reduce your blood pressure and get out

44:44

of the fight or flight stage and like

44:46

let, like

44:47

I think this is a really great topic for a future

44:51

episode is dealing with conflict, like

44:53

healthy ways to deal with conflict. I know you guys

44:55

have touched on it in various ways in your

44:57

episodes, but I was also thinking,

44:59

Colleen, about what you were saying because I just recently

45:02

had a conversation with somebody hurt my feelings

45:04

and a big aha for

45:06

me, which I feel like I should have learned way before

45:08

this. Is, and this is like

45:10

something what that I say to my husband all the time,

45:12

like, why are you treating me? Like I'm,

45:14

I don't love you. Do you know? Like, you know,

45:16

I'm coming at you from a place of love.

45:18

So when I, when this other person hurt

45:21

me, what I finally was

45:23

able to say to her was, you really hurt

45:25

me, and you're not a hurtful person.

45:27

So I'm confused, you

45:29

know, like if you're friends with

45:31

this person, then

45:34

you're friends with them. Because

45:37

of their good qualities. Not, you

45:39

know, like they're not, if

45:41

they are hurtful people, then you shouldn't be friends

45:43

with them anyway. They're like,

45:46

you know, people who are going to like stab

45:48

you in the front, then that's not someone

45:50

you want in your life. So

45:53

I think it's just, it was so helpful for me

45:55

because then it really helped me approach the conversation

45:58

in a way it didn't, I don't know that it helped.

46:01

I think it did help her in that

46:03

it. Made her not feel attacked,

46:05

right? Because I said, you are not a person who would

46:08

intentionally hurt me. And

46:10

so I just want you to know that

46:12

you did something that was confusing

46:14

and and contrary to what I think you

46:16

would've intended, but you should

46:19

know that that was hurtful.

46:22

On that same. Yeah, on that

46:24

same avenue like these,

46:27

I've had two, I had two meaningful

46:29

relationships prior to my marriage, and

46:31

those two people are still dear

46:33

friends of mine. And when

46:36

some people, and I went to both of their weddings

46:38

and they both came to my wedding and. That's

46:41

confusing for people to see on the outside, and

46:43

I'm like, these people had qualities

46:45

that I love, I love,

46:47

and just because we decided that like we

46:50

weren't made to do the entire life together

46:53

doesn't mean that they don't still have qualities that

46:55

I absolutely love and, and admire

46:57

and hold dear to my heart. Like. Once

47:00

the pain goes away from a breakup,

47:02

like I want those people back in my

47:04

life. And I've been so fortunate

47:07

that those people also had those,

47:09

that strength that they could do the

47:11

same with me so that we can now carry.

47:13

'cause it is so fun to now, you know,

47:16

as things happen as an adult, like 20

47:18

years ago we were experiencing something like

47:20

this and now I can like send you the message and we can

47:22

have a good laugh about it and. I

47:24

don't wanna say goodbye. I don't like ending friendships

47:27

unless they no longer serve me. That's,

47:30

and that's I guess, when we would end one

47:33

Yeah, I think I, I tend to

47:35

end friendships that are outright

47:37

hurtful, you know, in some

47:39

way. Not that they're trying to hurt you, but

47:41

that it's not, yeah,

47:45

that's not, not serving me, but just.

47:47

It's actually negative in some,

47:49

some way, or if like, trust

47:52

has been broken, Right.

47:54

that's that's a.

47:56

Well, and, and also like we talked

47:58

about this, but like, not the hierarchy,

48:01

but sort of like somebody can be your

48:03

friend and they can, you can be so close to them because

48:05

of a situation like say, work or whatever,

48:08

and your life changes. You

48:11

don't have to stop being friends with them, but you might be

48:13

friends with them on like a different level,

48:16

different, you know, like you're

48:18

maybe not calling them every single day,

48:20

but maybe you're still talking to them

48:22

or you're still setting them funny memes, or you're

48:24

still whatever, they're still your friend,

48:28

but there's harmonics of friendship,

48:30

right?

48:30

Like there's these different levels and

48:33

uh, you know, Shirley's like, I don't wanna.

48:36

Call everyone. You know, you don't wanna say best friend 'cause you don't wanna

48:38

rank them. And I'm like, I

48:41

call everybody my friend. And that bothers some

48:43

people. I'm like, yeah, my friend, blah, blah, blah.

48:45

And I met, uh, yesterday. I am a friend that

48:47

works down at the gas station, my friend at the gas

48:49

station that I take the kids to every day because

48:52

that's just who I am. But

48:54

you know, my friend at the gas station is not

48:56

the person I'm calling when.

48:59

You like a second grader? My

49:01

friend, my friend Bob, like you literally

49:04

call everybody your friend, like, what is

49:06

up with that? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm my friends. Everybody's

49:08

my friend. I love it. What am I, what

49:10

I call this person? Oh, this is my that

49:13

I, you know.

49:16

I agree. Everybody's my friend too. I got friends

49:19

everywhere.

49:19

I use the word acquaintance a lot.

49:22

would

49:25

Listen my friend, if I call you my

49:27

friend, that means

49:29

That's the

49:29

way she is too. She's like, that's a really strong

49:31

word. I don't think you should be using it so often.

49:34

And I'm like, okay, well the other people

49:36

that are really, those are my best friends.

49:41

I used to. I mean, I still, I tell everybody

49:44

like, love you Kay, love you like and I mean it.

49:46

I love you in some capacity. My first

49:48

boyfriend that I was with all those years, he hated

49:50

that. He did not want me telling other people I loved

49:52

them. He was like, what? Why

49:55

do you love everybody? I'm like, well,

49:58

no. I love them differently than I love you,

50:00

but I still love them. I love

50:02

you. You know, but

50:04

I, I also love them.

50:08

It's the tone. It's, it's all in the

50:10

it.

50:10

Yeah. It's on the

50:11

Yeah. I.

50:15

you know? Okay.

50:18

Well thanks friends. That was

50:20

fun. Remind everybody

50:23

where they can, uh, follow along with your life

50:25

or get your coaching or buy real estate

50:27

Well, especially if you're a real

50:29

realtor with Compass, you can go to

50:33

rebusinessessentials.com and see

50:35

all about our programs. We're gonna be launching

50:37

a whole bunch of new, more

50:39

accessible things for people. So

50:43

you can find me there, or I am fighting

50:45

with Google to get my Google Business page back

50:47

up. But you can also find me on LinkedIn and

50:51

on. And

50:53

Facebook.

50:55

Susie, when is your next, you're in North

50:58

Carolina next, right? When is You're in rally. When's

51:00

your next 26th and 20th

51:02

of February in.

51:04

amazing. Everybody who's anywhere

51:06

near there

51:06

should go there. If you're

51:08

with Compass,

51:09

if you're not, you should just bang on the door on the outside

51:11

and like try to like listen because it's so

51:13

good.

51:15

Graduate style.

51:18

All right you guys. Well, thank you. Thank you,

51:20

and I'll

51:21

I love.

51:22

Love.