0:00

Alright, are we ready? Alright, Jane, ready

0:02

in Khemesh. Alba, Shalosh. Daim?

0:05

Yeah! Hey! Yeah!

0:08

Yeah! Hmm! Where

0:10

my moms, where my moms, where my moms at? Where

0:13

my moms wearing thongs hitting bongs at? Raising

0:16

kids cleaning shits need a long nap.

0:18

Where my moms, where my moms, where

0:20

my moms at? Where my moms at,

0:22

hot gas! With

0:25

Christina Peay. Come see me,

0:27

Duesden Comedy, at the Vogue Theater

0:29

in Vancouver, British Columbia in February.

0:31

I've added a show at the

0:33

Neptune Theater in Seattle, February 17th,

0:35

an early show, because I

0:38

know you guys are parents. Nobody wants to go to

0:40

a fucking 10 p.m. show. And then

0:42

I go to San Francisco, the Palace of

0:44

Fine Arts, for one night, and then New

0:46

York City, I added another early show at

0:48

the Gramercy Theater in March, March 23rd. And

0:51

then I go on to the Ridgefield Playhouse

0:53

in Ridgefield, come, net account, christinapeonline.com,

0:55

buy my lipstick if you haven't

0:58

already. And

1:00

with me, I'm so fucking pumped. We had her on

1:02

here a little while ago. You guys absolutely loved her.

1:04

I'm obsessed with Zhao Ying Summers, everybody. Zhao Ying! Wow!

1:07

I was so happy to go be back! You're

1:09

the best. I just, you know, I'm just, I'm obsessed

1:11

with you, because I feel like

1:13

we are, you know, different sides of the

1:15

communist pond. Yes. We are

1:18

raised by, look, my mom hated me. I think your

1:20

mom likes you a little bit more, just a little

1:22

bit more. Not really. She hates me, but she won't

1:24

die. And I need her to take care of the

1:26

children. It's a business transaction. God,

1:29

that's the truth. But, yeah, you're

1:32

just, you're everywhere. Last

1:34

time I saw you, you were headlining the Apollo. How was

1:36

that show? How'd it go? It was so amazing. I

1:40

couldn't believe I did an hour and 20 minutes.

1:42

I won't shut the fuck up. And

1:44

they just, the service thing, the

1:46

service team was laughing. So that's a good

1:49

sign. That's a really good sign. Yeah. And

1:51

they are very, they're seeing funny people. And

1:53

it was a big success. All the agents

1:55

came out. We had a full

1:57

house. We brought dumplings. Buddha

2:01

after the show. He does it. really?

2:03

I yang Serious? Yes. Always all dumplings,

2:05

chopsticks everywhere. Suicides. May I tell you

2:07

though? that Asian market if he can

2:10

get Asian people out. that is that

2:12

His words out. Because there's like once

2:14

a generation, there's an Asian comedian linked

2:16

alley wong in you Now thank god

2:18

before that, Margaret Cho right? I'm a

2:21

ninety so there's just a slight scarcity

2:23

of Hasan women doing stand up. I'm

2:25

so glad you're doing and good. Good.

2:28

So anyway I brought a white house you

2:30

about so today and pure mom form I

2:32

know I had plans with he we were

2:35

going to have breakfast before this podcast and

2:37

of course my knee. any calls in sick

2:39

and then my five year old get sick

2:41

so I can't throw him at school today

2:44

to come hang out with you. So I

2:46

am I snuck out just to do this

2:48

podcast had to cancel or breakfast and my

2:50

kids being watched by I don't know he's

2:52

a would being watched by the I pad.

2:55

Ring at least. Know. He's alone,

2:57

but he's despite I'm. You.

2:59

Know that's how fucking goes and and I

3:01

always get as how do you swing career

3:03

and motherhood and I? I don't know that

3:06

you do. I. Don't know that

3:08

he do. Yeah Is there a battlefield every

3:10

day? You company title fight is the enemy?

3:12

Is his leg? he it is. I expect

3:14

things happening every moment. Is the we attacked

3:16

me a major oh no that isn't lost

3:18

Will have no. My son's weeks ago who

3:20

have the you know they get it, has

3:22

your code and is down the aisle. The

3:24

whole fucking school has it. Yeah yeah. Yeah.

3:27

There isn't juggling. I think this

3:29

is a misconception that. You.

3:32

Know they're like it's a work life

3:34

balance and like first of all, men

3:36

don't balance shit. There's no question about

3:38

them, they just work. And like

3:40

I have. With. You know, and they're

3:42

like, oh, he's working so hard My who gives

3:45

a shit I'm a mom and I'm trying to

3:47

hello career the Yes. So much Fucking harder than

3:49

just being a workaholic. Yeah. And in a

3:51

to post the one photo with a baby the other father

3:53

of. The year damn paper.

3:55

Is and has always and nobody

3:58

cares. Nobody here. Page

4:00

and imitates his leg. I don't think there's

4:02

a balance I just think you're just you

4:04

just do it and years tyrell a time

4:07

is at it I think that set as

4:09

if your your tired you have had look

4:11

tired you you use on as consider and

4:13

the Krishna P read lips to cover the

4:15

you are tired that it is risks that

4:18

soothing as way have been dressing like crazier

4:20

the older I get and wearing brighter look

4:22

because you just like you're so tired and

4:24

you're so haggard when he just like fuckin

4:26

and put lipstick on this pig you know

4:28

dress her up. For how

4:31

do you do it? So tell me like you've

4:33

You've your mom. Yeah. I got

4:35

my battle. I decided to be a

4:37

person who can go to do any

4:39

show, any movie, anything I want but

4:41

the price I had to pay his

4:43

to work like a full time slave

4:46

to be able to afford a food.

4:48

hadn't been living in many here and

4:50

them well you're single mother to but

4:52

I'm a single mother so I disturb

4:54

still like it if I can pay

4:56

for nanny to help me that idol

4:58

how to cancel shows their therefore I

5:00

didn't move mess career faster. yeah then

5:02

I can of beer bottle of forward.

5:05

To pick the children and the nanny a my

5:07

mom on the road lead me that I can

5:09

be be them full time because I wanted be

5:11

them that the go with as all go but

5:13

I can't afford it but if i save money

5:16

now i cancel my so's this why britain than

5:18

any can com I go home a them my

5:20

career move the lower I will forever cannot afford

5:22

them to go on all the me therefore I

5:24

will make my career I won't be the them

5:26

but so true because I know female comedians who.

5:30

If you're you know if you have a mom that

5:32

can help out the bring their mother at they bring

5:34

the family. With them on the really done, that

5:36

a few times to live on, take the boys

5:38

to meet farm I've taken the boys and noom

5:41

various cities. Yeah.

5:43

That's an excellent focus your son hoarding,

5:45

you're basically supporting you know your kids

5:47

and to support your mom. the up

5:49

my mom, my dad and you Death

5:51

He the recovered alcoholic He gray I

5:53

thought didn't bring any more. Now he

5:56

know why am success success and know.

5:59

He heart meds correction everything has to

6:01

lot. When said it all, Cecilia is

6:03

becoming here. We are trying to get

6:05

him here so he couldn't read books

6:07

to the kids. Yeah. Business

6:11

that's amazing. That's.

6:13

Amazing is really hard of being mom and

6:15

being a three a woman I don't think

6:17

the we balance that we just we just

6:19

by bottles every day, every hour. Yeah.

6:22

I think you're right, It's so

6:24

hard the year, you know? Officially

6:26

you you're in a position where leg you

6:28

gotta do this. There is no you know

6:31

name he lives these there's no plan B

6:33

he ever your treasure yeah you can kill

6:35

them announces his are legally America. Had

6:41

so Sure you've got such a

6:43

killer work ethic. And.

6:45

I was thinking about you yesterday cause I

6:48

love. Your. if you close of a

6:50

tiger my of a tiger moth podcast right now.

6:53

I. Consider myself like in Eastern European Tiger mama

6:55

or know what were like a sausage mom is

6:57

that the. Your whole

7:00

body color Kill Boss a mom I

7:02

think you are. Like. Of

7:04

the ice queen Mom and that ran by

7:06

is going to scream of yeah because he

7:08

you know I, I, I love you so

7:11

much and if I feel like because I

7:13

respect your hustle cause I'd she was I

7:15

feel very much like you. You know I

7:17

just fucking by any means necessary yet eat.

7:19

This is what you have to do to

7:21

succeed. Yeah, if the hustle really love you

7:24

so much you are on your your your

7:26

assertion I got us in our business. Nash's

7:28

yeah, You're better off. You are amazing, Yours

7:30

is clouded. I've got your chi chi. Have

7:32

no self esteem. I can. Handle this I

7:34

am just so happy i me sitting he

7:36

i love you know I know he'll a

7:39

union par me so much so but but

7:41

listen the point is I love that year

7:43

a tough mom because. List.

7:45

Is fucked up as our parents are. They.

7:47

Did some shit right with you and me

7:50

because you and I should be. Mega.

7:52

Losers? Yes. We. Should

7:54

we know I'm no self esteem? My

7:59

mother with the skids of. My dad's an

8:01

alcoholic. Were. Eating grew up in

8:03

China. You're a girl. He shouldn't have

8:05

even been fucking bored. Yeah, And.

8:07

You got your ass to the U S. In.

8:09

Kentucky. So into college in Kentucky and then made

8:12

it in a May. I mean it's like. So.

8:15

Anyway, there's some right Mom and Dad must

8:18

have done. And yeah and I want to

8:20

preserve that shit with my kids. Yes, how

8:22

do you do it because you don't want

8:24

to. You don't want to them the way

8:26

we were traumatized. like he said therapies their

8:29

yaser expensive, it doesn't really work the all

8:31

away as if we're up the word be

8:33

a break their leg as a concealed but

8:35

he broke the are so see will be

8:37

a loser full ever Yeah and nothing can

8:40

feel that know and that's the thing is

8:42

is all money you your void in ivory.

8:44

filling the void with. Money with fashion

8:46

with food with whatever it's as yeah,

8:49

you're always gonna be empty. Birtwistle Much

8:51

better than the you have two boys.

8:56

Your. Link is a Barbie. This two boys what he

8:58

did our time I have a boy and a girl. Oh,

9:01

I'm sorry that was going to be here in

9:03

America now. It's cool that girl yes he

9:05

is because as asian girl she's actually hiring

9:07

a slutty than is a men kissing anyone

9:09

want My my son can get. A. Full

9:12

ever that So true Unless. He's

9:14

rich, are gay, Man I

9:16

can't answer? Am. I'm

9:18

putting. Painting Ringo Am nails on his

9:21

singer. Hopefully he had a game one

9:23

day. Be so cool. Yeah I'll be

9:25

so happy. Who began his exit days?

9:27

The eyes crush. they do the twinkly

9:29

there's no hair on their body I

9:31

know he and his they they are

9:33

in demand. Very and men side you

9:35

raise your girl to survive. In. Our

9:38

culture because the her father's is the

9:40

last when she was. Less.

9:42

Than two years see was hard for

9:45

moments. That. As use it as he

9:47

saw their so she's actually very she's to

9:49

the after me I i wanted was a

9:51

little girl I wasn't allowed we're pretty stuff

9:53

that really makes me feel bad because I

9:55

was not allowed to to the was pretty

9:57

so I say her all the goes on.

10:00

You are if you weren't allowed to wear pretty says. Why

10:03

though he really really beyond I was very doors

10:05

and I love the sun and all the little

10:07

girl's avoid a thon I'm like Darth Like Purple

10:09

dark and I would wear my publicist as pink

10:12

dress mums added don't do that The Uploading: Pink.

10:15

I would say his there were

10:17

reasonably this origami yet. There

10:20

that really the only goal that go back

10:22

to Africa. That's that I did talk about

10:24

racism the gates the we hate ourselves so

10:26

much that wouldn't even know who else will

10:29

hate. Chinese Us

10:31

will answer because isn't it like a hierarchy

10:33

of like called or that people wanna be

10:35

lighter young the I if your name means

10:37

you are rich and the earth is the

10:39

indoors. You never went to the farm here.

10:41

If you are dark me as you work

10:43

and vomiting a my case you are light

10:45

means you're poor see as leader you never

10:47

had been lammy he can afford a suntan,

10:49

a nutter. Desert the true and or yeah

10:51

where people spent a lot of money until and

10:53

beds and said yeah look like we just came

10:55

home from vacation. That's right, yes so you dress

10:57

feminine he said later on he learned how to

10:59

girl it up so ill. but I'm saying like.

11:02

My. Daughter years I didn't want give her confidence

11:05

I wanted he as is beautiful everybody love

11:07

her as so I just do it that

11:09

her where the two things he does he

11:11

love to dress up always by her nice

11:13

beautiful stuff. And. In the morning I'll

11:15

just tell her that if you look great Margot

11:17

your very smart as you are Toby but he's

11:19

ok city bombing our baby Entropy. I always did

11:21

tell her to get liposuction the morning not yet

11:24

said that it but I'm leave without her mother.

11:26

Agency? yeah we had up in Earners mpeg. she's

11:28

ten nice. Hello The she she's two and a

11:30

half. Oh yeah, it's time to get. On the

11:33

as an unknown unknowns and budget Another job. I

11:37

tell her guessing the in the morning it's always

11:39

a regular on they didn't lose it is the

11:41

top. Her mind still legit. Cecile have delusions he

11:43

got equal to men. that

11:48

so smart meters accommodate zero said become disciplined hey

11:50

mars or finish your food and clean the floor

11:52

but in the morning you the bring water into

11:55

your beautiful you are smart and everybody loves deal

11:57

but then you know him a mistake and the

11:59

daytime kind of punish you before she before she

12:01

go to sleep but be like you are beautiful I

12:03

love you if there's a daddy daddy love you too

12:06

but it is not so I love you twice yeah

12:08

so she I tell her good things

12:10

the confirmation I think confirmation so I don't have yeah

12:12

I want to tell her confirmation in the morning and

12:14

before she go to sleep if I can catch her

12:17

if I don't have my mom would tell

12:19

her in Chinese but in a daytime I'm

12:22

very disciplined I won't let her get away

12:24

with being a little douchebag really I

12:26

don't think it's bad it's not attractive when

12:28

somebody's kiss is the douchebag and their mom

12:30

is cute if you want to kill them

12:32

look what what's a douchebag what's do you

12:34

remember what's the one thing you disciplined her

12:36

for lately like what do you I think

12:39

thinking is cute when you make a mess

12:41

it's a kid but if you clean it

12:43

up it's cute yeah I also my mom's

12:45

her problem is that because I don't

12:47

know she's a she's just like a peasant

12:49

and whenever something there's a mess she's like

12:51

ah oh my god kiss

12:53

kiss you're a baby you're bad ladies

12:56

and she just freaked out we own a

12:58

roof for mom clean it's okay it's okay

13:00

that we are gonna remove everything

13:02

when they grew up we don't need those things

13:04

it's okay it's a mess you can't scream because

13:06

when you scream they are panic they become little

13:08

bitches because yeah it'll be just panic they can't

13:10

handle somebody that's gonna love them and I thought

13:13

I don't shoot me so should be

13:15

like I have a condom I'll fuck your dick

13:17

and fuck you don't kill me and

13:20

then you'll kill them I

13:22

want people I want her to be like people to see that

13:24

and then be like oh my god don't say that I

13:27

don't have to give a BJ yeah exactly but

13:29

you're right if there's something to right our

13:32

parents freaked out over every little transgression

13:34

what are you doing this is not

13:36

how you're doing you're going to be

13:38

the panic yeah versus like like for

13:41

instance my older boy he got

13:43

a bad grade on a test okay now

13:46

I mean he fucking bombed it and I was like

13:48

and he thought it was it was a 60 okay

13:52

And I was like what the fuck happened Ella

13:54

you know and he's like, well I was I

13:56

wasn't paying attention and I started laughing and I

13:58

was like. I go buddy

14:00

this is a sixty and is like but it's

14:02

okay it's I got not okay, you failed and

14:05

and I really like. You. Know and

14:07

I was like okay hardware handle this because

14:09

I don't want him also to go into

14:11

hyper perfectionism but I want him to No.

14:14

Don't. Be a fucking loser. Man does not

14:17

Okay. And I don't like this in American

14:19

American culture that it's like. Everybody's.

14:22

A winner. Here's your participation. A word. we didn't

14:24

win that game this time that that's like no

14:26

no no no no you should feel and this

14:28

as much because I say you lost my weight

14:30

and and I go to did did you have

14:32

them box and you go no no no I

14:34

like to feel and what a piece of shit

14:36

I am. yes we have soon as you know

14:38

on easy were like oh my god and wham

14:40

as the what lies everything policies right? City

14:43

Pd still idol metics medically myself the like

14:45

a zoo like of with him Luther thing

14:47

as his third. don't eat because I want

14:50

to be a county bitch disease you. Look.

14:52

Not a we've had a similar people. There.

14:55

Yeah and he had potpourri distance bill

14:57

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I think it's good to lake. You.

17:18

Know, I really believe that it would have

17:20

always. Yeah, you told him sixty is an

17:22

honors or another in another state. I think

17:24

it's good to be dismissed as soon as

17:27

the world is my Billie into. It's

17:30

a cuddle him. this is one at this is

17:32

this is what I'm saying Man in his are

17:34

getting him. You're giving him as a real confidence

17:36

that I didn't realize that he then he would

17:38

never need to take a pill to feel better

17:41

because he's a winner. He's gonna listen to what

17:43

we did, the correct it. I. Made him

17:45

learn the words that he got wrong of

17:47

the given A Fucking Learn these words because

17:49

it's gonna happen again in your life. And

17:51

then. Then. I was little he

17:53

was. Prepare for the next spelling tests. Here we

17:55

go and see voluntarily those. women are right it's

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were ten sites and it was like yes This

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is what I'm fucking talking about. You

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defeat those little weenies, these little

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pussies whose parents are telling them that

18:07

60 is fine. No, it's not. It's

18:09

not. It's not fine. It is gross.

18:11

Yeah. It's not attractive. It's

18:13

not going to get you laid. It's not going

18:15

to get him. Now, thankfully, he's attractive, so. He's

18:18

hot, so. He's ready and he's good looking. It's

18:20

going to be. Yeah, and his mama's good looking.

18:22

Daddy's rich. That's the problem. That's the problem. But

18:24

he's disciplined. Mom is teaching him some commonest skills.

18:27

Yeah, maybe I should knock him down

18:29

a peg. Do I ruin his self-esteem a little?

18:32

I think that you're just going to give him

18:34

confirmation. I think confirmation is so

18:36

important for kids, but then you are tough with

18:38

him. Because you are great. So

18:41

that's the standard you are going to have to

18:43

keep being great. That's what the Chinese

18:45

people tell. Basically what I'm asking you is Chinese

18:49

excellence exists. Chinese

18:52

are the fucking best at everything. And

18:54

this is why. You give them confirmation in the

18:56

morning and you're the best. You can do it.

18:58

You're number one. And then you beat the

19:01

shit out of them when they fuck up. Yeah, that's

19:03

how they raise the king. When the king's little boys,

19:05

they'll be like, you are the king. Everybody

19:07

worship you. But if you cannot memorize this

19:09

poetry, you're going to get stabbed in the

19:12

back by the general tomorrow. The

19:14

king's like, I'm five. Yeah. Yes.

19:17

But you're right. But culturally, hey,

19:20

I've seen the last emperor. They

19:23

literally choose royalty with the time they're born.

19:25

Like, hey, guess what? You're going to rule

19:27

this entire province and they grow you up

19:29

as a king. Yeah. So

19:31

what you're saying is you're modeling how

19:33

you're raising your kids after how they

19:35

raise Chinese royalty. Yeah, because of one

19:37

of the things, the super movie, Superman

19:39

movie set, right? It's like a big

19:42

power coming with big responsibility. The

19:46

thing is you are handsome, you are rich,

19:48

you are a beautiful boy. You

19:52

have to have the skill to match it or

19:54

it's going to become a surface. And

19:56

then people pray after you. They would want

19:58

to fuck with you. They put them

20:00

to be your friend because you can't spell

20:02

friend. You think of

20:05

the other friend. This is what I was fucking

20:07

talking about. And they literally, you are gonna get

20:09

destroyed more than a poor broke person. Yes. Ever

20:12

would. It's a protection for you. Because

20:14

when you are like that, people pray

20:16

after you. You have to have that

20:18

kind of intelligence and discipline in order

20:21

to merely survive. Not

20:23

even like they become better than your

20:25

parents. Just survive what, keep what you

20:27

have. Your life before

20:30

they try to take, because

20:32

they will. Because they know, okay. Yes.

20:34

This is a poor boy. I can, you know, I can attack

20:36

him. Oh, okay. Yeah. You

20:39

know how many homes are there? It's a protection. Exactly.

20:41

You are protecting him. You should not feel guilty about being

20:44

harsh. Because you can tell him,

20:46

yeah, you have everything and that's why we have

20:48

to be good at what you do. Yeah. You

20:51

have to be even better. You have to

20:53

protect the dynasty. Exactly. I

20:55

know, man. I know. I'm just standing behind,

20:57

in a line trying to fuck with you.

21:00

They are waiting for you to crack and

21:02

go inside and do your life. I fucking,

21:05

I'm telling you, I feel like I've heard

21:07

this from my Eastern European communist parents. This

21:09

is the kind of stuff I heard growing

21:11

up. And then the Americans, like

21:14

they don't. You are great. Okay. You

21:16

can, yeah, you can be anything. You can

21:19

have the 60 and be excellent. You are a

21:21

loser. Yeah. Try

21:23

harder, do better, get excellent. Yes.

21:26

No, I think the diatrying would be

21:29

what we tell them to do.

21:31

Just diatrying. You don't have to be the best. But

21:33

if you are trying to become, you might. Yeah.

21:35

And if, you know, as long as you are

21:38

trying your best, I can see you are working.

21:40

Yeah. Next time you got a 79, I'm

21:42

happy. Because you are trying, you

21:44

didn't have this cocky. I'm great already.

21:46

No, don't say that. You are not.

21:48

Mm-mm. This is why the Chinese are

21:50

dominating. This is why you guys

21:53

are taking over the fucking world, man. I'm telling

21:55

you, because they are raising their kids this way.

21:58

This is the right way. Yeah, but I

22:00

don't know why Americans are being weak about it. You can't.

22:02

That's why we are weaker now. I'll

22:05

tell you why. Because of the feeling.

22:08

So here's the problem. When you raise them

22:10

to be all success, I'll give you, you

22:12

know, the problem is and then they

22:14

become workhorses and then there's no internal

22:16

life. There's no emotional life, right? Listen,

22:18

I dated a Chinese guy, almost married

22:21

a Chinese lawyer. Brilliant guy. Brilliant

22:23

guy. Listen, the

22:25

guy's a fucking genius. But too

22:28

much work. It's no good for people.

22:30

It's his mom that she's like the

22:32

OG immigrant tiger, tiger, double tiger

22:34

mom. Of course. That's what

22:36

we are working, trying to make sure

22:38

they are disciplined. They love themselves

22:41

so they can have a

22:43

balance. Yeah. I think that's what we

22:45

are trying to do here. This generation of

22:47

Chinese, well men too. Yeah, you're

22:49

raising the next generation because I imagine

22:51

your father never heard, you're a

22:54

great guy. I love you. He

22:57

can't hear because he's strong when he's two. So I don't

22:59

think he heard it. He was blacked out. He's

23:02

so handsome and he's so drunk. He's

23:04

never been sober. He's

23:06

a full-blown alcoholic. That's

23:09

actually why I got sober is because

23:11

I just, that's in my

23:13

blood. It can happen one day. So

23:15

you think you have the genes, the genetic?

23:18

I have high tolerance. I

23:20

have the drink as three bottles of wine and drive

23:23

everybody home. Yeah,

23:25

you definitely have the genes. Yeah, I go home

23:27

and I throw up and the next morning I

23:29

function like a normal person. But then one day

23:32

I'm going to die. People are like, where did

23:34

she die? They wouldn't know. It's

23:36

good that you know though. It's good

23:38

that you know your Achilles heel, especially

23:40

with show business because the more you

23:42

get, the higher you go. This

23:44

is why so many celebrities implode because

23:47

of this. Booze,

23:49

pussy, gambling, whatever addiction you have going, if

23:51

it's not managed, it will sabotage your career.

23:54

It will because people don't care what is

23:56

best for you. They care what is best

23:58

for you. Whatever you do

24:00

best for them to manage you, to control you. You

24:03

no longer care about your best interest. Okay,

24:05

he's... They never did. Yeah,

24:07

he's drunk. Okay, I gave him drunker and he

24:10

got some pills for him. Some cocaine. So

24:12

we can control him and let him do things for

24:14

us. If he dies, his album worth more money. So

24:16

that's better. That's what

24:18

they think. A hundred percent. It's so scary.

24:21

I'm glad you know The Matrix early because

24:23

there's a lot of young comics I try

24:26

to kind of hint at The Matrix, like kind of

24:28

get them ready. And they're like, oh no. Yeah, they

24:30

don't know you. They don't tell because your mom told

24:32

them they were great. And

24:35

now we're full circle. Yeah, yeah.

24:37

Mom cannot... That's the thing. Because

24:40

the world is vicious. It's so much vicious.

24:42

It's much more vicious than Tiger Moms. It

24:44

is. Tiger Moms prepares you. That's so

24:47

true. And you know, you want

24:49

to believe... Look, I do believe that

24:51

human beings are inherently good. I

24:54

believe you come out good. I

24:56

think survival can make people ugly.

24:59

Survival needs can make

25:01

people irrational. It's not

25:03

that they're inherently bad. They're just surviving.

25:05

And when you're in survival mode, you

25:07

ain't thinking clearly. That's all parents. That's

25:10

all moms. Yeah. They're always in

25:12

surviving mode. When they are wearing Rolex, they feel scream that you will

25:14

spill milk. Yeah. I said, mom, Japanese

25:16

are not coming to inspect the house. You know

25:19

how to scream. Yeah, that's true. And

25:23

that's why it's so hard to be like... This

25:25

generation is all about conscious parenting. Like, you should

25:27

be conscious. And it's like, yeah, but you

25:29

know, you're just trying to get the boys from

25:31

fucking school, home, feed

25:34

them something, get them to fucking soccer practice

25:36

or whatever they're into, get home, do the

25:38

homework, get showered, get the thing, go to

25:40

bed on time. It's like you're just trying

25:42

to keep the plate

25:44

spinning. It's so hard

25:47

to be conscious because they're just angry a

25:49

lot because you're tired. I think for you,

25:51

it's actually easier for your boys to become

25:53

good boys because you are such a powerhouse,

25:56

a queer woman. And the best way

25:58

to do is to be the exact same. to

26:00

lead this action. So your son, I think, would

26:03

more likely to respect women more than other boys.

26:05

A hundred percent. Because they know women are bad

26:07

bitches. They would never say stupid things to girls

26:09

when they grow up because they know their mom.

26:11

Well, of course. They watch and they see. And

26:14

I correct too if I hear any bullshit. That's

26:16

not gonna fucking happen. Oh, women, they would let

26:18

their, like they would stay home and don't do

26:20

anything and give up their dreams and try to

26:22

tell their son to respect women. It's hard for

26:25

the boys, those boys, because they just like, I

26:27

don't, you say that, but I don't see that.

26:29

That's a good point. Yeah, because mom just

26:31

sits home and feeds everybody. What the fuck

26:33

are you doing? Yeah, dude. You

26:36

know what I just saw, dude? Cause you know I'm deep

26:38

on TikTok. Like I love you. I'm

26:40

fucking in it, bro. Dude, there is a,

26:42

was it the sprinkle, sprinkle moment? No, it's

26:44

this divorce attorney lady that I'm following. And

26:46

she's like, the biggest mistake a woman can

26:49

make is give up her career to be

26:51

a full-time stay-at-home mom. Like, let's say you

26:53

had the career and then you give it

26:55

up just to be home to raise the

26:57

kids. She goes, because when he divorces you,

27:01

you're only gonna get payout until the kids

27:03

are what, 18? And then

27:05

maybe a couple of years and now you're fucked.

27:07

Like you have to make your

27:09

own living again. And so

27:11

when they level up for the fucking trophy

27:13

wife, your ass is, what

27:15

are you gonna do? And I was like, oh

27:18

my God, that's such a good point. Like I

27:20

have to share that on this point. Don't stop

27:22

working. Keep your toe and

27:24

you don't have to go full throttle. You have

27:26

to go full time, but just, I think, keep

27:29

your toe at least in the real world. That

27:31

is so true because the marriage, you were young

27:33

and beautiful, now you are older and

27:35

you're having your career, I have three years,

27:37

five years not working, you're done. When you

27:40

go back there, nobody want you. You, like,

27:42

it's everything, go back to ground zero. There's

27:44

nothing you have left. Sotva

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to love it. And the kids don't respect you.

28:50

They're like, yeah, my daddy paid the bill. They

28:52

don't understand that you produce more value taking care

28:55

of them. They just don't understand that. And that's

28:57

what I did. I gave up my career to

28:59

marry him. But as I soon realized that I

29:01

think I want a divorce, I

29:03

did myself because there's a pandemic. I

29:06

gave myself a year and a half to build my

29:08

social media to make sure if when I

29:10

leave, I have enough money to survive and

29:12

I can take the children. So I was

29:14

working like all day while pregnant

29:16

is my daughter. I want an abortion, but I

29:18

kept her. I'm like, I want this girl. I

29:21

want her. I want her to live the life I

29:23

never had. So even I was pregnant.

29:25

I still live with my husband. I was planning

29:27

on leaving. I was calculating

29:30

on how do I leave. So we

29:32

didn't really have sex. I was just

29:34

working nonstop to prepare myself because I

29:36

realized that what a huge mistake I

29:38

did to not work anymore because it's

29:40

harder for me to fight for the custody. And it's

29:43

also I can't leave because

29:45

financially I need to stay because we

29:47

have children. You cannot imagine

29:49

sleeping a month without seeing them. It's

29:51

killing me. Oh my God. I

29:54

would fucking die. I'll just fuck anybody to be with

29:56

my children. Yeah. That's why I know most

29:58

women they can't leave because they can't. Give up your

30:00

career and they they cannot take the children the

30:03

them and live and that it that. That is

30:05

a deal breaker for women for like So I

30:07

decided I have to be successful, has no choice,

30:09

I need to be with them full time in

30:11

that means that how to work full and I

30:14

got like crazy and I that's what I did

30:16

and love you and I love that you did

30:18

that for them and. He. I

30:20

love that you do that. I. Think in in

30:22

your already hugely successful I mean like

30:25

literally. I. Mean year each.

30:28

How. I feel I remember convey the

30:30

sirigu unaware I'm getting a motion, but

30:32

I am just term. I

30:35

don't know. I see the hustle a new

30:37

and I see the determination and I know

30:39

I'm crying. But I because I was the

30:41

idea because I have the same thing. I

30:43

have the same thing in me. I think

30:45

that's why. seen in you have like dude

30:47

by any fucking means necessary and you grow

30:50

up and you feel like you're a piece

30:52

of shit and you come from shirt and

30:54

you're like I'm going to fucking be famous.

30:56

Do I'm going to be a millionaire and

30:58

I'm going to fill this fucking void had

31:00

I'm gonna show everybody that I'm not a

31:02

piece of shit like I get a dude.

31:04

I know you're you know? I kind of kind

31:06

of annoying, but. But to have this

31:09

impetus is lovely. I know. Look at us, we.

31:13

Had. Some bears. Have

31:15

your kids is a reason I think is have

31:17

a higher. Thing. Than what I. Was going

31:20

for which was just flakes. You.

31:22

Know let's. Just be famous

31:24

And whenever. Because it's it's. everything right. You do

31:26

it all for your kids. Have been in you

31:28

teaching them like. Hey dude, he can!

31:31

You can transcend whatever. You started

31:33

out in life you know in

31:35

America not shine of course. But

31:38

if we take what the Chinese of fucking

31:40

taught us. yeah. And learn

31:42

Crush America Yes I think I just

31:44

assure us it is a system to

31:46

sue him I can is at my

31:48

computer system says it does everything measures

31:50

although great saying and they get people

31:52

like a zombie like you would give

31:54

me advice ended that always matches. The.

31:57

Confusion saying you notice that. just

32:00

your work don't give a fuck about what people say just that

32:02

you are the only person who care about you in your

32:05

career you just you have to push hard

32:07

because you kept working working you just got better

32:09

and better and better when people just

32:12

think oh my gosh he's so huge you're like

32:14

I've been working my whole fucking life bitch like

32:16

yeah but I'm but I can't say what I

32:18

like about you and what I wish I had

32:20

what you have which is not

32:23

a fear of judgment from others

32:26

and I'll tell you why like for instance as an

32:28

open miker you bought a comedy club in Los

32:31

Angeles which is like I would

32:33

have been like oh my god who am

32:35

I I can't buy I'm just like this

32:37

nobody I'm fucking they're gonna talk about me

32:39

they're gonna say that I'm a weirdo whatever

32:41

and I would have been in my head but

32:44

I think because you have like I have fucking kids to

32:46

feed shit at that

32:48

moment I just feel like what should I

32:51

do to get better at this game because

32:53

I don't believe in not

32:55

paying the dues because I'm Chinese I know anything

32:57

that happens needs to be a build-up like

32:59

a for something become ice the

33:02

air the coldness everything is a process I

33:04

know the process is being on stage so

33:06

I look at the kids I I don't

33:08

think I can see them half

33:11

two weeks out of a month I don't think I can do

33:13

it I don't have my son because my ex-husband is very mentally

33:16

abusive he just doesn't say when he's

33:18

angry he will see our attention he

33:20

won't talk to you for weeks and

33:22

he's stone-walling and that's really unhealthy

33:25

for the children that's he he wouldn't

33:27

talk to them I just don't want

33:29

them to go through the pain that

33:31

that can really ruin your life so I

33:33

wanted to be able to do it so as

33:36

the that would be the number one thing I

33:38

can do is to get myself on stage ten

33:40

hours a day every single day and

33:42

I don't know where I'm going but I

33:44

know there I'm going somewhere doing

33:46

that or studying line for open max to form

33:49

X a week I can never make it because

33:52

if there's impossible if you can't I just feel

33:54

like if I play by the rule I

33:56

will never make it and I'll never make it. You're

33:58

right but that you put your right. but it also

34:00

takes. It but it takes

34:03

like your twenties. And comedy. You're

34:05

right, you didn't have a choice. he really

34:07

didn't because eve you wanted to do stand

34:09

up the traditional route. you fuck around here

34:11

twenties and Uganda, open my eggs and human

34:13

waste on you waste a decade. see a

34:15

hanging out not ways but it take you

34:17

know? yeah. You hang out, you

34:20

fuck around essential to in the morning and then

34:22

you go to your shitty day job he only

34:24

four hours. We can do that because you're twenty

34:26

eight years old you know and then we don't

34:28

have that luxury known your mother in like, by

34:30

any means necessary. Dude, were going to get that

34:32

shit done. I was twenty nine and I got

34:34

here with you'll see of Me and I G

34:36

and E I already don't speak any English age

34:38

forcing them are like them aside whore. And

34:40

his family time it got worse and

34:42

from there enough oh and I

34:44

that were some here. Now

34:47

and I know and I just love you

34:49

get think you're such an inspiration and for

34:52

any women out there you got kids and

34:54

you're thinking like I can't deal at or

34:56

I can't leave the guy or I can't

34:58

I can't think about fucking shallying summers all

35:01

board and China were in the Hunan worries

35:03

man is Evelyn the most of the less

35:05

food but it yeah is yummy. Yeah

35:08

but you're born in yeah. Listen, you can

35:10

do it. You can do whatever the fuck

35:13

you need This you need to sell like

35:15

a seminar to typing. So I really wanted

35:17

to see because nobody tell a young mom

35:20

had to have Lisa at an abusive relationship

35:22

with mentally abusive when his mental issues as

35:24

you can you really can. Do. Anything

35:26

about it because you you talk yourself out

35:28

of it. Family's legacy. The Glades Bills is

35:30

this. people can see if he was healthy

35:32

like he he's beating you up us you're

35:34

like okay. Mean. There's like more motivation. They

35:37

ways mental abuse is a spin it an eel. you

35:39

just don't know what to do it. Then they say

35:41

something nice to you than the udall had a children

35:43

you would I get I get my three. I can

35:45

see them. I can't leave them either brother ever living

35:47

hell but the next them than. The

35:50

away and nasi them ever again against. This was.

35:52

The worst. This option for mother. This

35:54

just. A modest Toys The always.

35:57

Choose. Their children first to be around them

35:59

at his core. Yeah, we don't

36:01

have a choice when we come to the

36:03

children new men do they'll just fucking go

36:05

Yeah, like wow you guys are cool. That's

36:08

really neat. Yeah, they are they are cool. They can do it

36:10

They can handle it is the mother

36:12

instinct. I can't I can't I'd rather yeah

36:14

I'd rather be a prostitute in you know

36:16

Siberia and yeah and come home and see

36:18

my kids. Yes Totally

36:20

I would totally become a whore, but I would

36:23

also rent a brothel. That's what's up. Come on.

36:25

I'll be a madam We

36:27

can also do a a brothel, you know like this Got

36:30

some robots and they can all show anything

36:32

they can read the minds of the customer.

36:34

Oh, that's a business. I have Russell

36:37

Girl, you just you just we're gonna do it.

36:39

That's the next step. Yeah, yeah, brother. We can

36:41

be billionaires I would love to do that Yeah,

36:44

but but back to what you're saying about this

36:46

abusive Well, you know, I have friends that have

36:48

gotten out of abusive relationships very

36:51

very tricky very difficult I really

36:53

wish you would I don't

36:55

know do something you got to write your story down or

36:57

tell your story I think it'll

36:59

help other women because it's so trick when you're

37:01

in it. I hear it's just like you're You're

37:05

mind-fucked and it can get anybody dude. I feel

37:07

like it took down I have

37:09

friends who are like powerful women and you're like,

37:11

how did that happen, dude? Yeah,

37:13

this should feel wings that your invisible wings.

37:15

You don't see them anymore. And uh, It's

37:18

the it's a mind game. They play you it's

37:21

a mind game Really bad.

37:23

How did you what were you try? I know we

37:25

have to I feel like every time I see you

37:27

it's like we end on There's another

37:30

layer to your onion and I'm like you got to come

37:32

back and we'll do another Fucking thing

37:34

on it and my kids second. I can't go

37:36

over. Can you can you tell us then? how

37:39

does somebody as intelligent and bright

37:41

and Ambitious like

37:43

what was attractive about your

37:45

ex-husband? I think what got

37:47

you lured in I think a woman

37:49

is attractive and vicious full of light

37:51

that she's seeking a

37:54

soulmate who sees her and the

37:57

Narcissus they they know they were

38:00

They want to mirror you. When they see you,

38:02

they want to take down a woman who is

38:04

powerful because that turns them on more. They don't

38:06

want a little cutie thing. They don't want to

38:08

do that. That's the last excitement. They

38:10

want to see a woman who is powerful in

38:12

her own life. They want to go there.

38:15

And at the beginning, they are not the person

38:17

who they are right now. They would be, they

38:20

are mirroring you. They are charming. They are funny.

38:22

They are successful. They do a lot of, he

38:24

does a lot of charity on the paper. He's

38:26

amazing. And he supported my career. He

38:29

worshiped me because I'm the few Chinese

38:32

women who want a career and we

38:35

fell in love. He's obviously, he's

38:37

very gorgeous, handsome, tall, wealthy. He

38:40

literally, he donated thousands of computers for schools

38:42

in the village. I just thought, oh my

38:44

God, what a kind man who speaks English,

38:46

who understands me. And once we

38:48

were together, at the beginning, he's still

38:50

nice. He wants to thank me for my career. He invest movie

38:52

for me being in. And then

38:55

he just slowly start to say that you

38:57

should lose more weight. And you know, your

38:59

face is too big. I did a

39:01

surgery to remove my fatty pad,

39:03

whatever it is, in my cheeks to remove

39:05

it. And he just like, you should lose

39:07

more weight. You are like

39:09

really big and you lost your look and

39:11

your skin is too dark. You should get lighter and

39:13

your legs are too short. I'm like, I can't get

39:15

longer legs. And it's not going to happen. Then slowly.

39:18

But when he was doing that to me, it sounds

39:20

like my mom. I'm like, this maybe his family. He's

39:22

trying to take care of me. He's trying to, hey,

39:24

you're getting ugly. Just don't do this. So

39:27

I, because of I was abused, so whatever

39:29

I believe he loves me

39:31

and everything he says, I have excuse for it

39:34

until it's too late until it's too late. He

39:37

start mocking my ex and this kind

39:39

of tell me that you used to stutter. You should not be

39:41

doing stand up because you're going to start it on big stage.

39:44

And that I don't know. I was just triggered at one

39:46

time. I was going to do this big show. My

39:48

peacock special, the 30 minute special. And he said, you should

39:51

not do it. Remember your stutter. He

39:53

started stuttering. Like when I was, I told you

39:55

I was a kid. I started for, for a

39:57

few years, but I don't do that anymore. Anymore

40:00

and I start stuttering. He's not mocking me.

40:02

He's not laughing. I just I don't know

40:04

something happened I slapped him on the face

40:06

good then he obviously he tried to choke

40:08

me, but then I hate him with a

40:10

cutting board And

40:12

though I'm like a very physical so when somebody

40:15

hit me, I'm leaving right away Yeah, but when

40:17

they are very abused me I think you know

40:19

I think he care about me he's calling me

40:21

fat because he's calling me fat before other people

40:23

call me fat That's nice Well,

40:26

cuz you said you'd heard it before yeah,

40:28

it's like a family. Yeah, so I

40:31

I was I stay there a

40:33

long time like almost three years That's a

40:35

long time for me because I I'm really

40:37

strong and nobody with all my old

40:39

friends Like how we would never imagine you would

40:41

let somebody say that kind of stuff to you because

40:44

you are really tough I said I didn't

40:46

know that's why I have so much empathy towards

40:48

women who stay in that kind of relationships because

40:51

Because they they know exactly who you are

40:53

and they do whatever it takes to make you

40:56

feel like you found somebody who truly care About

40:58

you and then they when they hurt you they'll

41:00

go back. I'm so sorry. You know, it's me.

41:02

You are beautiful You are smart. I'm lucky. So

41:04

then he sounds like he understood what he did

41:07

wrong And then you take him back cuz he

41:09

thinks changed. Yes, cuz he told you yes Yes,

41:12

and then he'll change into exactly what you want. Then

41:14

he will slowly start to point in again to control

41:17

you Yeah,

41:20

that's the textbook narcissist

41:22

Yeah, textbook abuser abuser and the

41:24

problem is the women that stay

41:26

with these guys you end up

41:28

dead You are emotionally dead

41:31

or you kill yourself or you just

41:33

walk You're a zombie or you're or

41:35

you're physically going to die because this

41:37

man will kill you It will kill

41:39

you because the pressure pressures unhappiness. They

41:41

produce like poison in our body It

41:43

costs all kind of cancer cancer and

41:46

stuff for sure for sure for

41:48

sure Yeah,

41:50

you must leave this situation if you're in

41:52

this situation You must leave and

41:54

did your mother know did you have help from

41:56

your mom? Oh my god is she at the

41:58

beginning? Whatever I fight in my ex husband before

42:01

we were living together before my mom moved with

42:03

us she just say oh yes you you have

42:05

bad temper you should be nice your husband obey

42:07

obey your husband that's the key of happiness then

42:09

she moved in with us and I

42:11

was I went to a comedy club to do a

42:13

show I came back late because I was not working

42:16

and I was drinking a little bit and he said

42:18

you are just like your father you are a drunk

42:20

without me you're gonna be dying under the bridge my

42:23

mom my mom was angry at me

42:25

because it triggered her with my father's drinking

42:27

but then when when the time he called

42:29

me stuttering my mom said something I would

42:31

never remember okay we got in a fight he called me

42:33

I started my mom said my daughter

42:35

is the most beautiful smart talented woman you

42:37

have ever made you are gonna die soon

42:40

fuck you she's out of your

42:42

league I'm gonna kill you myself you

42:44

fucking bitch nice the first time

42:46

I heard her calling me beautiful smart you're

42:49

like bitch it took this to the back of

42:51

a fucking guy and she threw a base on

42:54

him after I hit him with the cutting board

42:56

and then that's the that's the next morning I

42:58

felt divorced so

43:00

that's the first time she saw what because

43:02

she didn't know there's a thing called

43:04

verbal abuse because she's the verbal abuser

43:06

yeah she's when she saw him mimicking

43:09

me stuttering well why I

43:11

told him I used to stutter because I trust

43:13

him I nobody know that yeah and he

43:15

saw mark like mimicking me knowing I have a show I

43:17

have to go to the biggest in my career by

43:20

then and my mom saw that she was not

43:22

having it and then she reached out her inner

43:24

beast and she supported me she's like as a

43:26

mom what would we do now she

43:29

goes I'm going to Nagano I'll give up

43:31

my fucking life to be here to take

43:33

care of the children you go out there

43:35

you're fucking hustle you'll make this a comedy

43:37

thing happen you're ugly so that's the only

43:39

resource for ourselves just do that thing you

43:42

know that doesn't require look you know you just

43:44

go on stage every day yeah well the good

43:46

thing about comedy the good thing is that the

43:49

older uglier uglier fatter yard which you're neither of

43:51

those things none of those things the the better

43:53

your career gets because you're funny and you're gonna

43:55

be funny forever no matter your age no matter

43:57

what you look like I think that's the

43:59

beauty of having a good personality

44:01

and being interesting and all

44:04

those good things. Well, thank you so much

44:06

for sharing all that. I hate that

44:08

we have to go on that, but again, I got a sick

44:10

kid at home and I really can't stay too

44:12

long today. Please come back

44:14

and let's share some more. I can't wait

44:17

to have you back on the show. Please

44:19

come back to Austin every month. I

44:21

will do that. I have my national tour

44:23

2024. The

44:26

tickets are at jiaoyingsummers.com or

44:28

summerscomedy.com. Thank you so

44:30

much. It's an honor to be here. You're

44:32

the best. Jiao Ying Summers, everybody. Thank you

44:34

so much. Subscribe, blah, blah, blah. You

44:37

know the shit I got to say. Until next time, stay

44:39

cool, mommas. Bye.