In the final episode of our Mental Health Week Mini Series Alex and Helen talk about Distorted Self-Image and how they find ways to deal with this in their day to day lives.

Being over-critical

Alex and Helen recognise Distorted Self-Image as not seeing things as they truly are. Oftentimes this can result in an intense over-criticism, not feeling anything is good enough and only seeing the negatives in our practice and performance. How can we combat this over-criticism?

• Make recordings. If we are in an over-critical headspace it can be helpful to make a recording of the lesson, coaching or performance, wait for one or two days to put some distance between yourself and the event, and then listen to it with a slightly more objective outlook.
• Trying to look at the bigger picture. Often we’ll feel frustrated because we haven’t managed to achieve every single thing we were aiming for in a concert or an audition, but it’s worth reminding ourselves that no audience or panel will know every tiny goal you set yourself. If the audience reaction to a performance is positive, recognise you must have done a lot of things right in order to get to that point!
• Encourage yourself to look for the positives. You may feel that the positives are hard to find, but it can be good to do as a reminder that no event is a total catastrophe.

Distorting feedback

A common product of Distorted Self-Image is distorting feedback. Alex and Helen will regularly search for the veiled criticisms behind any comment or compliment. What are the ways we can tackle distorting feedback?

• Take what is being said to you at face value. Once again this is a place where recording performances, coachings and lessons can be extremely helpful. If you are complimented after a performance, take the compliment. If you are given constructive feedback in a coaching, take the feedback as it is delivered.
• Consider who you need feedback from/whether you need feedback. If you’re unsure about what has been said to you, can you take it and discuss it with your artistic team who you know well and who you trust?
• When it comes to feedback: take what serves you, leave what doesn’t.

Unhealthy social behaviours

Alex and Helen recognise that is a freelance career is precarious and oftentimes they’ll enter into a work setting desperate to show that they’re competent, committed and completely on their A game. This can result in an almost chaotic energy that leads to them being completely burnt out in the long run. How can we counter that unhealthy social approach?

• Caring less about what others think. This is a big problem that can feed into a lot of mental health issues, but it is something which influences how we behave in work or social setting. On many occasions it is the singers that are sure of themselves and confident in their abilities that come across the most relaxed and easy to work with. (We know this is not an easy one!)
• Taking a two-minute time out. Whether it be before a rehearsal, or in the middle of a social engagement, it can be good to take two minutes to collect yourself and consider how you want to approach the event.
• Reminding yourself that people almost always aren’t thinking about you. In relation to our first point - we’re often so concerned about what others think, but most of the time they’re not thinking about us, they’re thinking about themselves.

If you feel Distorted Self Image is something you are coping with and you want to talk about it, please do feel free to get in touch. We are always here to listen.

Episode edited and produced by Daisy Grant Productions.

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