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1:40

What I wish you Ginger fans Welcome

1:43

back to the show. We got a good one for

1:45

you today. Like my man, Steve Harvey, unsafe. It's

1:47

the first time joining the show. Welcome

1:49

to the show. Man, have been

1:51

back in the LA studio. In quite a while, I've been

1:53

jetsetting around the country, and that's why

1:55

we got our guests today. The are you garbage

1:58

boys? You garbage bro.

2:00

H Foles, Kevin Ryan. These guys are so

2:03

funny, man. I like them so much.

2:05

There's such good dudes you gotta check out their show.

2:07

Are you garbage on the YouTubes and the podcast

2:10

wherever you get that stuff available. And also, you

2:12

got a little bit of time. Go watch my new special

2:14

on Netflix cheeseburger. It's been up for quite

2:16

a while. Now I'm so happy about

2:18

it. Turned out great. Go

2:20

eat yourself a cheeseburger and watch cheeseburger

2:22

on Netflix. Tell a friend. To

2:24

watch it. Spread that word. Spread that

2:26

love all around. Enough

2:29

rambling from

2:29

me. Let's go to the episode.

2:31

In here, we

2:34

pour wisdom. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk.

2:37

You're

2:38

that creature in the ginger beer. Sturdy.

2:41

Binger. Like that. The Ninja Genius.

2:44

Jinkies are

2:44

puges. You want me five dollars for

2:46

the whiskey, seventy five dollars for

2:48

the whole. Jeans

2:49

are here now.

2:50

Let's whiskey use mix. Tanger.

2:54

I like Tenders. Ladies

2:56

and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. I guess it one of my favorite people. I

2:58

don't know if they said the problem. guess what I mean. Once

3:01

again, today, it's two boys

3:03

in the house. The a, you gotta be boys.

3:05

Yeah. Folks have

3:07

arrived. Thank you, guys, so much for coming

3:09

on.

3:09

I'm glad I did your

3:10

show in LA. Now I you do my show in New

3:12

York. Yeah. We're all twisted. Here and I should hold

3:14

the cup weird. Everybody got mad online. I held

3:16

the cup so strange on your show. Like that?

3:18

Do you know why I did it?

3:19

Here's sweating. There's no

3:20

sweating. I can just that room and it was drip

3:22

my hands were soaking wet. I picked it up. Like

3:24

this, but the Internet got a hold of it. So now I have

3:26

creepy images of me holding. I do. People

3:28

DM them. So it's so

3:30

funny. Dude's an alien bro. Yeah.

3:32

I'm gonna tell you Hollywood drinks baby,

3:35

blood. They drink they whole cup's

3:36

weird, and I do. And

3:38

I do.

3:39

How about to charge some of that end of Chrome?

3:41

Yeah.

3:41

Would you like to? Sure. Little baby

3:43

blood. Hey. Whatever you gotta do, let's go. I'm in.

3:45

guess, dude, you look good. You're fine. I just was

3:47

complimenting how good you look already for you. How old are

3:49

you? Are you close to me?

3:50

I'm thirty six. Okay.

3:51

Yeah. You're close. I'm almost forty.

3:53

Yeah. But I gotta

3:54

tell you, man, honestly. Good god. And for Irish

3:56

most of the time, Irish people We

3:58

age we don't age well now. You know,

4:00

like, thirteen to eighty four. I'm

4:02

forty now. I'm almost forty and I

4:04

look forty. I look appropriate for

4:06

my age, but I used to look forty when I was

4:08

twenty. Okay. I never not looked my I

4:10

never looked my age until right I'm at the

4:12

the tipping point. Just that's why I know I'm halfway

4:14

through my

4:14

life. Eighty, I'm out. This is literally

4:17

my midlife right now. I'm

4:19

bluffing it, dude.

4:19

I think I'm on the back nine. Yeah. I don't

4:21

know, man. I think you don't Well, you're on the same team.

4:24

What you're talking on the TV team? Man,

4:26

You can smell the hotdog. You're in

4:28

the clubhouse. You're

4:30

in the

4:31

clubhouse. You're changing. You take

4:33

off one show, you have a hard attack while you're taking off

4:35

your

4:35

shoe. You're like, oh, no. Not now.

4:37

Alright, Maury. I'll see you next Sunday

4:40

with

4:40

the traffic at the lawyer. I think

4:42

you're gonna I think you're gonna be just fine. You're

4:44

sexy sexy man. When you said you

4:46

you got an old lady, you're married or no? No.

4:48

Then together seven years though.

4:49

That's great. Yeah. Yeah. She's a Philly girl?

4:52

No. She's a Hawaiian. She's human.

4:54

Yeah.

4:54

She's human. Yeah.

4:55

Quick offense. It's true, but I think But you

4:57

should. Wait. What doesn't wear sweatpants to

4:59

work. Right. What what

5:01

what island? Oahu. Oh,

5:04

yeah. Right. Yeah. Going back down a couple

5:06

of weeks, Do you go back all the time? We

5:08

do. Well, since things started to

5:10

work

5:10

out, we do. For the first what do you

5:12

mean? Since we started

5:13

making that many money again? Oh, oh, be able to

5:15

get

5:15

there. Yeah. Four four years. It was on,

5:18

man. Take it next

5:18

year. What's the bus situation? Yeah.

5:21

But then we started going back and we go

5:23

every here. But now we're going back for a for a wedding.

5:25

And we worked through the holidays pretty much,

5:27

so we're taking a taking a couple weeks.

5:29

You boys did?

5:30

Yeah. Yeah. Would you do a bunch of shows? Well,

5:32

I saw you guys did grammarously here?

5:34

No. We're

5:34

doing try and not see. Yeah. You do my grammarously.

5:36

Yeah. But tell me when because this episode might be

5:38

out by the time it says you are a third and fourth. That's

5:40

perfect. It'll be out. It'll this that'll be after

5:42

this episode comes

5:43

out. So February third and

5:44

fourth. Yeah.

5:45

I'm sure you guys are probably sold out.

5:47

There's, like, fifty tickets left to the left. So it's

5:49

gonna sell out to the boys. Two shows to

5:51

you guys get 333. We're doing

5:53

two. Three short chains. And now you can go to

5:55

Hawaii and back. Yeah. You know what? know

5:57

what? You know what? Yeah. You know what? Have

5:59

to put on a smock as soon as you land.

6:02

That's awesome, dude. That's that's so great. Skirt

6:05

and start dancing. You know, hey, you're handing out beads.

6:07

I actually love going to Hawaii, and I used to

6:09

hate it. Is funny. Right. Because I went a

6:11

few times like, when

6:13

I like, I went twice

6:15

before I had any money, you know. Like, it

6:17

was like saves all my pennies to go. And

6:19

now I live on the West Coast and, you know,

6:21

it's so much easier to get to Hawaii for

6:22

sure. It's nothing. It's just

6:24

nuts to go from here. Yeah.

6:26

That's crazy. It seems like others so

6:28

many clothes I get you have obviously an emotional

6:30

connection to it, your girl, the whole thing. Pete Family

6:33

there, but, like, to doing the math in

6:35

my head, I'm, like, that's fucking crazy.

6:37

Get you to Australia from here. I know,

6:38

but I gotta say, well, you won't. That's way further. I mean, you

6:41

know maps, but that is way farther. I won't go

6:43

there. Every

6:45

time we get on the plan, I roll the dice

6:47

of the fact that it's

6:49

not gonna be that full. And they

6:51

see the situation. Uh-huh. They see

6:53

her squished up against the fucking window.

6:55

Poor girl, like, her face pressed up. And I'm

6:57

the first one. If you guys want,

6:59

we'll move you. Dude, catch, like, A4A

7:01

row of four. Yeah. The TV's going. Woo.

7:04

Everybody's dinner. It's nice. That's nice.

7:06

Like first class in the back of the

7:07

plane. Well, let me tell you, now that you guys are working to

7:09

the holidays, you sound to grammar so you make a little bit

7:11

of money. Do you ever think you might to

7:13

the

7:13

front? Not a first not a first. We

7:16

we do that when we fly

7:17

to work. Time. Now I can't go back to Oh, little

7:19

snappy boy. You're up. I do it all. I'm spending

7:21

my money. I don't care. Right. I'll spend it all.

7:23

Yeah. You should. Nothing better than laying

7:25

down while people are, like, fucking help

7:27

out that job. Trust me. I'm asking

7:30

for more kava milky. What are we talking

7:32

about here? Not a class. Fucking

7:34

go one eighty

7:34

later. A snooze. That's

7:36

my thing. I'm doing it today in a couple hours when I

7:38

go back to

7:38

LA. I have to, dude. Because as

7:41

much as I travel, I can't. Like I told you, I was gone for a

7:43

month. I didn't see my home for five

7:45

and a half weeks. And it was like,

7:47

when I go all the way home, I had can't

7:50

arrive annoyed, beat up. Yeah. Yeah. Because

7:52

she doesn't wanna see hear my bullshit. Like,

7:54

you can't bring that home. No. I can't be like I've

7:56

been traveling, I've been hustling, I've been working, and

7:59

I'm also mad now that I'm supposed to be back at the

8:01

place where I'm supposed to chill.

8:02

No. So I'm like, spend I'll spend the extra

8:04

money as stupid as it is

8:06

because the air the airlines are getting a

8:07

little green. Green

8:10

green to go to Cleveland. It's insane. Like,

8:12

it's also

8:15

a tough place to go to too. They're like,

8:17

there is a direct flight, but it's fifteen

8:19

thousand dollars. No. So I I'll

8:21

do it just because I need the I

8:23

want the the the the

8:25

piece knowing I should get everything

8:28

relaxed before I get

8:28

home. Sure. I can enjoy my time at the house.

8:31

Normally, I wouldn't,

8:31

but I don't know, man, though. They were they were pretty pricey.

8:34

Well,

8:34

to Hawaii is very expensive. Yeah.

8:36

That's

8:36

that's because they're that's another thing they

8:38

know. Just like funerals, it's like, they know

8:40

most people are going there for weddings. Right. They're

8:42

one vacation of the year. Right. They

8:44

don't know them already. Right. So they don't care that

8:46

they're gonna they're jacking it

8:47

up. They don't know about you -- Yeah. -- and your girl going home to

8:49

visit people you love. They don't give a

8:51

shit about that.

8:51

Ten grand for Mastercards at a funeral.

8:54

What do thoughts. And

8:55

you're fucking collector play getting heavy.

8:58

You wanna hear trashy? My dad passed in the

9:00

in September. So sorry. Thank you.

9:02

And we had know, we had a little

9:04

thing after the ceremony, and

9:06

we overestimated how many people were

9:08

gonna be there. So we had trays

9:10

of Rosotto and

9:12

steak tips. Dude brought that shit home and

9:14

put it in the freezer. They wanted to have

9:16

it for my mom's birthday. And I'm

9:18

like, he can't eat and fucking dad's death

9:20

meal.

9:20

You know, dead man's meat? Dude, dead man's meat. That

9:23

is full circle, though. One

9:24

door closes another

9:25

one opens you up. Throw that shit out

9:28

there. Come on. But taking funeral home to

9:30

go is kind of funny, man. Yeah. is something

9:32

my grandmother, you know, last

9:34

year, it's one of those

9:36

things where you're sad. It's awful. You're saying, hi

9:38

to everybody. You're emoting. And there's all this,

9:40

like, you does you're feeling so many things seeing

9:42

people you haven't seen. I haven't seen people haven't I didn't

9:44

see in twenty

9:44

five, thirty years since I was a little kid.

9:47

Were

9:47

you in the line? Did you stand up and be in

9:49

the line when they came through? I carried my grandmother. I was

9:51

wanting a polar bear. Yeah. I was a boy. I carried

9:53

him. I did too. Which sucked

9:55

sucked. I loved it. Dude, I hated

9:57

it. I've been a polar bear since I was like

9:59

twelve That's

9:59

your shit. Yeah. He's just gonna say that he's

10:02

talking about. Yeah. Just gonna say that.

10:03

They always brought me up for you. Put it on one shoulder.

10:05

He's firing

10:06

down the fucking aisle.

10:08

I hated it, dude, because I don't it

10:11

just it got me so good. It hit me so

10:13

hard.

10:13

It just it just it fucked me up. I would have

10:15

rather been able to cry in my seat. But

10:17

I made an off collar joke about the

10:19

priest being a

10:20

stiff, and man

10:21

wasn't here. He was livid. And on the

10:23

mic? Yeah. On

10:24

the mic. Could you do ten minutes

10:25

before the

10:26

funerals? Fine. Come on, man.

10:29

Not because my my uncle read this really

10:31

nice piece that my mother wrote

10:33

about the family. Our family's massive. We're

10:35

iris scum.

10:35

Yeah. So how big? My mom's want

10:38

a ten. Yeah. My mom's want a nine. It's nonstop.

10:40

Do we come out of the woodwork? Yeah. It weighs. We

10:41

don't stop. So our

10:44

family's huge. And there's so many

10:46

stories and you know, I don't know. He just wanted to show some

10:47

love. So my mom wrote this thing with my

10:49

mom. In the church or after He's

10:51

in the church. He's in the church. And and

10:54

he's like, it's saying all this really funny shit,

10:56

and it was it was killing. Like, it was so

10:58

funny because it was such relief -- Mhmm. -- for how awful

11:00

he said. It's so intense. That's supposed to be in the

11:02

cat. Freaking

11:03

unit like it. No. No. I love it. No. I love

11:05

it. I love it. Give me update. Well, I

11:07

tightened it. I I was I was getting them a little couple of

11:09

tags. Tell

11:09

the host to do a minute in between.

11:12

He's slowing down. Let me get my head

11:14

straight. And he was ripping,

11:16

dude. And I went up there, and

11:18

I just got through a little thing, but I

11:20

was like, you know,

11:23

father has zero sense of humor. This guy -- Yeah.

11:25

-- and I turn over and he's I mean, he's

11:27

live he's shaking his head.

11:29

Yeah. Dude, God was funny too.

11:31

God was funny

11:31

too. You can laugh, father. You know what I

11:34

mean? Sure. Yeah. I was thinking on him. What's

11:36

his name? You're not Rickles. You're cracking

11:38

his smile. Some schmuck who just got out of

11:40

the

11:40

funeral. Is just after the homily?

11:42

He had already done his time? Yeah. He

11:44

did his time. Really? Yeah. So fuck him. They

11:46

usually get one or two in there? He did

11:48

not.

11:48

Really? Really? Stiff as a board. Yeah.

11:51

My my my grandmother's priest

11:53

that she had actually had her whole life -- Uh-huh.

11:55

-- moved. And I don't know if he

11:57

moved because he moved her

11:58

because he

11:58

had to get moved. Free located. You

12:01

gotta get out of it. They married they married him

12:03

in Cleveland. You've been reassigned. Yeah. We got

12:05

you in a three thousand dollar flight to Cleveland.

12:07

Yeah. But anyway, I yeah. It

12:09

was one of those things where it was so it it just reminded

12:11

me why the church bugged me as a kid so much because of

12:13

how it wasn't I had I just wanted to have

12:15

fun all the time Mhmm. And it was

12:17

so strict. The rules were so strict.

12:19

So pain. And they yelled at you and they'd

12:21

smack

12:21

you.

12:21

Yeah. Could

12:21

you guys get smacked when you were kids? By

12:24

by byprior at school? I'm

12:25

forty six. So, yeah, when I was

12:27

Yeah. I got I got I got tuned up

12:29

nuns because the nuns kinda ran the

12:31

the elementary school that I went to. In

12:34

upstate Pennsylvania, and man,

12:36

this one fucking had it in for me. I

12:38

think I tripped her or something like that at one point.

12:40

Well, then that makes a lot easier. I mean, a

12:42

question. I don't want you to like that.

12:43

Man, dude, she hated me. She fucking tuned me

12:45

up a lot. I remember, like, actually hit me in the

12:47

face one time. Well,

12:48

because you like it's fucking the head

12:50

or it's Or are they armed Paul

12:51

to get their head. Yeah. Back to the head is pretty normal. You

12:54

went to catholic school. In the face when I was a

12:56

kid kid and then I we got out.

12:58

We were like, this is insane.

12:59

I was thinking about this the other day. We went to Catholic

13:01

school, but then at a certain point

13:03

for one year, we went

13:04

to, like, it was Catholic, but

13:07

it was, like, Eastern European Catholic.

13:09

Like. I don't know what

13:09

I don't know the difference. I I couldn't really

13:11

tell you what what the difference was,

13:14

but the host, you know, the

13:16

communion. Yeah. Wasn't

13:18

communion. It wasn't the wafer. It was a

13:20

little piece of the life.

13:25

It

13:26

was bottle of yeah. It was

13:28

a little piece of bread. It was cut up one mushroom

13:30

pierogis.

13:33

Hey, Patrick. We're seeing apples. Sorry.

13:35

He's killing me over here. What did he

13:36

give you a whole score of pickles on his table? It

13:38

was a piece of bread. It was a little listen. It was

13:40

a little piece of bread. With a tablespoon

13:42

of wine. And that's

13:44

how they would give it to

13:45

you. And that was the first time

13:47

where I was like, I'm fucking

13:50

hammered. Yeah.

13:50

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude, I was fucking,

13:53

like, proper drunk, and we'd go once

13:55

a week every Thursday in the morning, and

13:57

they'd hit you with that. And it

13:59

was new to me and my brother. And, like,

14:01

after, like, the first or second time, I'm, like,

14:03

staggering around for the next couple of

14:05

periods. Like, Dude, I'm fucking

14:07

drunk. Yeah. That's how the guy did the day. That's how the guy did They

14:09

figured it out. Yeah. When I went when he

14:11

when when I went to when

14:14

we when we moved out to the suburbs, we started

14:16

going to a a

14:18

Presbyterian Church -- Okay. -- and

14:20

they refused to give people wine, so they would

14:22

give you grape juice. Instead.

14:24

Yeah. So all of a sudden, we got a lot of black members.

14:26

Alright. That's easy to I'm gonna throw

14:28

it

14:28

away. It's terrible. Know what they

14:31

would give us grape juice instead

14:33

because they refused to give alcohol. I I think it was

14:35

against one of their

14:35

little rules. And I was

14:36

like, what were you doing taking it? You were a

14:38

little

14:38

kid. I just mean at like No. Sure. Check

14:40

service. Yeah. They would give they would give grape juices that

14:42

they didn't believe in the Yeah. We didn't do

14:45

that when we got I think that

14:47

started go away a little bit in our area. They would only

14:49

give

14:49

it to,

14:49

like, the fucking homies that we're working. You

14:51

got every money. Got it. Now we got those really.

14:53

As a kid, you got

14:54

it too. Yeah. Of course.

14:56

Really. Yeah. A hundred percent. I mean, isn't that crazy?

14:58

Yeah. I mean, it was

14:58

like, god, it's me. We're all I mean, dude, it's a lot of fun.

15:01

That's how they gotta meet housing crazy.

15:03

That crazy. They're giving they're giving Sips a wine

15:05

to

15:05

people. They're fucking getting kids. That's how they got

15:06

us to wander the hallways. Yeah.

15:08

I'm flipping right home. Yeah. I fucking

15:10

can't start coming down. Got

15:12

your underwear on your head. My lipstick all

15:14

fucked up. So

15:15

you're you're locked up. You have someone you love. Are you a

15:17

single man or you

15:17

got some married? You're married. Right. Right. Right. Right. Before the

15:20

pandemic, she's a German broad. Oh my

15:22

god. Yeah. In this business, you're in trouble.

15:24

I know. Well, you're in German, June. Oh

15:26

my god. But they both were even worse

15:28

somehow. German

15:30

Jew, that's great. Holidays

15:31

must be wild.

15:32

Yeah. High side died. We do, like, you know, we

15:35

do the Menorah and stuff. Half a because half a

15:37

family does Christmas, and

15:39

then half does Well, it really requires you.

15:41

What's the other one? Yeah.

15:43

The chambers. Yeah.

15:47

So we just do I mean, they weren't, like, really

15:50

proper, like, religious. They

15:52

just do, like, one night of Hanukkah. Like,

15:54

you would do, like, miserie or whatever. Yeah. We're okay. Right. It's not

15:56

like it's more just like cultural. Like, hey,

15:58

let's have a dinner with the family

16:00

over anything

16:00

else. Like, do

16:01

you do what is it called? Like, do you

16:04

do Shabbat and shit like

16:06

that. No. No. No. No. They don't like, they never went

16:08

to, like, services or anything really. It's more of

16:10

just, like, cult world. It's just we are

16:11

Jewish. Yeah. We're Jewish, and this is

16:14

what we do.

16:14

Like I'll go to Shabalala, fuck with Shabbat. You ever

16:17

done that? Yeah. My buddy's my

16:19

buddy converted. He was lutheran, converted

16:21

for a girl, and she was old

16:23

golf. At

16:23

what age? That's why. Conversion is

16:25

strange. That's so

16:26

Most times, the women need her backbone.

16:28

That's

16:28

what she was asking. Fucking

16:30

trust you did. Peter's gonna comment like

16:32

that. Get out. He got into

16:34

it, man. And he was he was

16:35

super he was a super Christian

16:38

growing up. Like, he taught Sunday school and all that

16:40

kind of stuff. He was loothering -- Yeah. --

16:42

whatever that is. Not going to

16:43

heaven. Too nice.

16:44

He's not sitting next to me. Yeah.

16:47

But I'm in the light flats. Yeah. I'm in

16:49

the ice. Okay. We're up to the play. That's right.

16:52

Sitting next to Michael the York Angel.

16:54

And then he converted for this for

16:56

for for his his wife. And

16:58

they used to do the the

17:00

Friday night thing all the time inviting

17:02

me over. It's

17:02

actually real relaxed so fun, man.

17:05

Hell, man. I love olive bread. Well,

17:07

I'm also so into I'm also so

17:09

into home cooked meals, man.

17:11

I I told Matteo taking a car back to the city last night,

17:13

and I said how I was gonna go to maybe go

17:15

to Edgewater to go see my buddy

17:17

and his family because -- Mhmm. -- I love going to

17:19

see his mom. His mom, like, cooks a meal, and

17:21

it's nice to come to the East Coast and get

17:23

a young cooked meal. You walk in the house

17:25

smells real good. Dude, and she cooks

17:27

whenever we want all day

17:29

long, anything we want. I mean, it's like I'm

17:31

just trying to get my mom move up here just for that reason.

17:33

Dude, because it's so nice to go eat

17:36

whatever they make. I don't care what

17:38

it is. I'm gonna eat all of it because it's always gonna be better than

17:40

going to some

17:41

spot. Mhmm. The best restaurants in the world. I've been to

17:43

some great places. Don't care. Mhmm. Give me someone

17:45

that I know that

17:46

any bottles or something -- Yeah. -- sausage and pepper. He's

17:49

out of the phone. And I wanted to do it last night,

17:51

and he said, oh, shit. Go see my brother or whatever.

17:53

Because we were talking on the car ride. How

17:55

just I've had a Michelin I've had

17:57

Michelin restaurants internationally

17:59

rated. I've done that whole thing. I

18:01

would I always would prefer

18:03

my mom's shitty burnt

18:04

chicken. Sure. Yeah. I I'll take a burnt chicken

18:07

all day long just because I'm, like, there's something

18:08

to make it a plate and, like, a crowded kitchen

18:11

and, like, I'll pay me a role. I'm gonna get the

18:13

whatever. And then you get to you get to slot

18:15

in stuff that doesn't belong together while at home.

18:17

You know? You're you're eating stoner food at

18:18

home. You're allowed to lay your shit real. Like, I can't believe I'm

18:21

eating this with but it's because

18:22

people's a mashed potatoes -- Come on. -- blip a

18:25

coleslaw. Yes. Put some seer bowl of

18:27

cereal just in case. No. No. No. I'll

18:29

do all that shit. Yeah. I do love it.

18:31

I that's kinda part of the reason why when

18:33

I come out this way, I do wanna be

18:36

here for a while in New York because it's closer to Chicago. I can go

18:38

home a lot easier. Sure. Going home to

18:40

Chicago from here is, you know, I'd it's like an hour and a

18:42

half or two hours of heavy

18:43

flight. When I leave Felay, it's five

18:45

hours. You know, it's four and a half. It's not crazy.

18:47

I

18:47

don't understand how

18:48

people work the road out of there. Well,

18:49

if you could leave the When do you leave? Eleven AM.

18:51

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys do I

18:53

got my horse ready in the cart. You I

18:56

think you just gotta go and go. When you leave

18:58

LA, you have to

18:58

go. So your road jumping is a lot. You're

19:01

like

19:01

Right. You're like, I'm out. Just knock it all out. You have to a

19:03

little bit. You can't just go back and back and back and back. You

19:05

kind of have to do like Philly

19:07

and Boston. You know what I

19:08

mean? And DC

19:09

and then do some of the south

19:11

then go home maybe, and then do, you know, Midwest

19:13

isn't as bad, but it's crazy.

19:15

You know, me and Bobby are doing a bad

19:18

friend's tour in March.

19:20

I think mid end of March or something like that. Yeah.

19:22

And we're doing that. We're spending most time

19:24

out on the road with a bus, you know.

19:26

We're either doing buses or

19:28

sprinters. We can't decide what we need to do right

19:30

now. But either way, we know we have to chunk and

19:32

run. Mhmm. It's gotta be big

19:34

thick chunks because him and I

19:36

together too, but that's the only thing.

19:38

Like you too. The bosses are. Well, I don't know. Do you

19:40

guys have a is there a little tension as you've

19:42

gone on? Sexual tension?

19:43

Well, I know you've knocked out way early. You

19:46

got that out of the way. Out of the open, my face.

19:48

Right. You're

19:49

saving that for season three.

19:51

That'll get killed off. We have a

19:53

very open, like, if we're mad at it, it's like but

19:55

that's just like the fucked up families we come from.

19:57

It's like, we could do a bus though.

20:00

We'd be alright. Yeah. We'll have it out. Like, there's

20:02

no problem with me being like, dude, just shut the

20:04

fuck up. And then, like, four

20:06

minutes

20:06

later, we're just, like, out smoking a cigarette. Like, it's what

20:08

happens. That's

20:08

that's We have a it's, like, a brother give

20:10

it up that

20:10

night, though. You don't give it up.

20:11

You don't give it up. You don't talk to me like that. What are

20:14

you nuts? Just

20:14

a link up

20:15

sex in the morning.

20:16

Of that, how long do you hold the grudge for? Typically.

20:18

Oh, wow. I hold you. Yeah. You can do

20:20

you talk

20:20

about weeks? A couple days.

20:22

Yeah. Sure. Well, can you just be a

20:24

comment that it's, like, made in passing that he

20:26

doesn't like that you're not sure? And then

20:28

you

20:28

know, you're sitting there, like, an hour later, like, we're there's

20:31

something. You're Oh, yeah. We're that level of crazy.

20:33

We're fighting wars we don't know we're in. What's the

20:35

it's mostly him. Yeah.

20:36

Because I've

20:37

got a phone call and I'm like, this is a hotline.

20:39

Like, this is like this is like the fucking

20:41

turn your key

20:42

phone. I mean, like, he's You're

20:44

you're spinning. You're spinning.

20:46

Right. So can you name Putin? Use a lens, you know. Like, no, we're

20:49

not invading. Don't be silly. You are very

20:51

close

20:51

to Putin. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah.

20:52

Yeah. You're out too. There you go. Yeah.

20:54

They're lying. They're

20:54

keeping you alive behind the boards. Can't

20:57

do this. Can we get Bernie's around

20:59

town. Yeah.

21:00

Did you I heard

21:00

a rumor that this guy and

21:03

watch, as I say, this I get shot in

21:05

the neck. I heard

21:06

What's up, bro? You're a good guy. What

21:09

about

21:09

who? I

21:10

heard that there somebody collects

21:13

his shit. Wherever

21:15

they go because they don't want people to

21:17

be able to take samples of his

21:18

Yes. Yes. Because they say he's like he's

21:21

got like late stages cancer is, like, what Riddle's

21:23

entire body has what's going on. He is littered with

21:25

cancer. Uh-huh. And people don't wanna

21:27

test it because also obviously,

21:29

I mean, not to get disgusting, but I'm

21:31

imagining blood blood is a part of the

21:32

world. A lot

21:32

of them do that. I heard Kim Jong Un does the same

21:35

thing. But Well,

21:35

he's he's on terminal. He's

21:37

change it. He's got a whole He's combo. He's got a trophy room.

21:39

Yeah. He's got a trophy room full of a pet

21:42

shippers. Yeah.

21:44

Was right after a big hot pie. March

21:48

eighty three. Yikes. I've heard

21:50

that's what he

21:50

does this guy just to protect himself, which

21:52

Jason doesn't doesn't doesn't make sense. It's

21:54

not that

21:54

crazy. I mean, you're a world leader who's like --

21:57

Yeah. -- crazy guy. That's funny.

21:58

Poison you all

21:59

different kinds of stuff. Well, he's gotta worry about that.

22:02

Right? Isn't that funny? Like, guys made so

22:04

many fucking enemies to their movement. But I do like

22:06

it because it was back

22:06

to, like, medieval times when Yeah.

22:09

You're always watching your back. It's all cloaking daggers.

22:11

I like that too. You said golden

22:13

minute. Closest people buy you, get you. Right. Right.

22:14

When no one's around it. Pore some warm wood

22:16

music or something like tip tip tip tip tip tip. You

22:18

know what

22:19

I mean? What's the worst fight you guys ever

22:21

had? You know what? Tell me if

22:23

it's No. I mean, we're we had so on we

22:25

have a show on our Patreon called heart feelings

22:27

where it's that. Like, we'll fucking

22:30

screen at each

22:30

other. It's, like, we by the way, go to the Patreon,

22:32

boys. Watch all your garbage, but also go to the Patreon,

22:34

pay the kids. Really? So finally, we can

22:36

get them in class going to

22:37

Hawaii. He can afford it. Yeah. You can. I know we can. Yeah. Yeah.

22:39

I wanna save it for all the tuna, and eat

22:41

when I get over there. Just go catch

22:43

it. It's freaking my moose of bees.

22:46

Have you ever gone spearfishing or shooting

22:48

out there or anything? I'm petrified

22:49

of the ocean. Oh my god. You go watch

22:51

Dude, he's the biggest player. Throw up. Go go

22:53

to the Jersey shore. Petrified down

22:55

there. I saw jaws when I was a real little

22:57

kid, and I used to think that there was sharks in

22:59

pools. Like Then you are also

23:01

not the sharpest golden shadow. Yeah.

23:04

Yeah. But you know what? Have you ever spoken to any of those locals in the

23:06

areas that you go to? Because they'll tell you that at

23:08

some of those

23:09

places, they almost never see sharks. So

23:12

Some of them. Some of them. Some of them The last time that we went we

23:14

went out with the with the Hawaiian guy

23:16

who runs tours. He's a spear

23:18

fisherman. We went out in

23:21

Kanye

23:21

Bay. Yeah. I don't know if

23:23

you know with that. You make it sound Irish. Kanye Kanye, Tony, I was

23:25

aware of. Totally. It's right off the coast of

23:27

liberty. Kanye, hey, Nickle, be yours,

23:29

all day long.

23:31

Can we start

23:32

with our park?

23:33

There's an underwater pub. If you get down in our deep

23:35

house, we can hold your breath. A lot

23:38

of fishing ships as far as

23:40

the eye can see. No. You

23:43

would have to kinda heavy, kinda heavy. Yeah.

23:45

And he he kinda laid it out for

23:46

me. But just it

23:49

was light snorkeling, but I was petrified.

23:51

I gotta tell you, I just went to Hawaii a

23:53

couple months ago, and we went with the guy

23:55

who, you know, showed us the ropes hot guy I've ever

23:57

seen in my life just

23:57

Jack. He was a good looking

23:58

up. Yeah. You can't take your wife or girlfriend. That's insane.

24:01

They're they're immediately gonna leave you for this

24:03

guy. And when you're diving, she's

24:05

diving, you know what I mean? Still

24:06

learning. Fucking long cap.

24:07

That's right. Knockin' But You know who that was, by the way?

24:09

Hank Azeri. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Anything

24:11

like him. Really? That didn't look like him. I've

24:13

known him for a

24:14

while. He was Jack. Got a long

24:16

hair too.

24:16

Thinking of right? Yeah. I have long hair. That didn't look like it

24:19

didn't look like the Hankers area you know. He was

24:21

pretty jacked in birdcage.

24:23

Yeah.

24:23

I guess he wants

24:24

to do that. But I I'm with you. I understand

24:26

it looked like

24:27

a difference. Transformation for sure. Sure.

24:29

Yeah. Either way, knock the bottom of that. Well,

24:31

just

24:31

because first, just because your fucking best friends

24:33

with Hankess

24:34

area. Jesus Christ, I don't know. Like, I know

24:36

him like that. I mean, I know who he

24:38

is.

24:38

In here. We poor. Whiz. Whiz.

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26:06

Danger. I like to

26:09

intervene. Is do you have famous friends like

26:11

that? Or you have you've lived

26:11

a pleasure. I love you.

26:13

Yeah. This is a shitting you and Chelsea. Let's just ask

26:15

you for money when we get out of here. I'll

26:18

tell Valzelle you. What

26:20

now? We're a cash app company. That's what you

26:21

better believe you are. Yeah.

26:23

No. Let's say,

26:23

so so what is the worst going back?

26:26

What is the worst fight you guys

26:28

have. I'll brace it note

26:32

was over money,

26:34

not in a bad

26:34

way. This is where it

26:36

starts. This is how it all goes. Well, but

26:39

now listen. We're both real dirtbags. Like, we're bro,

26:41

this is the first time we're making money. We

26:43

don't you know, I have a pretty good sense

26:45

of the man like, of the handling and

26:47

everything. Yeah.

26:48

Trying to handle the books. Oh, there

26:50

there had

26:50

to be an explanation of, like Yeah.

26:53

Yeah. Of course. You know what I mean? I wouldn't

26:54

have to

26:54

do it. You gotta be a free

26:55

bird, baby. Yeah. I wouldn't do it. You think they're sharks and pools.

26:57

Let this guy

26:58

handle golf. Yeah. You too. He was doing the

27:00

buster to be barbecue. All all

27:02

over him. But

27:03

He didn't like it. I don't

27:05

just spend it as we go. Yeah. He doesn't

27:07

understand. It's like it's also not a

27:09

nor in the sense of, like, we go on the road together. We take

27:11

out openers. We take out camera guys. Right. So it's

27:13

like a business. So it costs money.

27:16

A cost a lot of money to fly

27:18

people around the country. Yeah. And and you

27:20

you have to like, if we're doing a show

27:22

in LA, San Francisco and La

27:24

Jolla, that's like you have to pay

27:26

for that. Now that it's in three months. Yes.

27:28

I can't just be

27:30

like, hey. Well, I'll I'll when

27:32

LA gives me the check, I'll make good with

27:34

you, Dell. Airlines. You know what I mean? Like, you

27:36

have to pay for all of that. Get to this fight.

27:38

I don't remember it. Where he

27:40

I was I was I was I had to teach you

27:43

operating capital. Uh-huh. Where money

27:45

comes in, but you don't get every you

27:47

don't get x percent of every dollar that

27:49

comes in -- Correct. -- because it has

27:51

to go not needed to buy tickets and

27:52

AirBNBs. I would like it

27:53

to not at the end of the month. I do dirtbag

27:56

math -- Yeah. -- of what I thought you'd

27:58

be touching on, and I know what the

28:00

ads are. Why isn't it x? Right. And they

28:02

got a thirty thousand dollars hand x bill

28:03

deal. This wasn't accusatory. No. No.

28:05

No. No. No. Not accusatory. My full

28:07

trust. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Not accusatory.

28:10

But it was more of and then I I was just he

28:12

called a little hot, and then that's all I

28:14

need to. Am I You, Jack? I

28:17

had the shorter fuse. He was

28:19

plotting in

28:19

the dark. He's getting mad. He calls me and

28:21

I go, you might, like, I lose it. Right. I have the

28:24

I'm

28:24

gonna put a snakes in your bed. Yeah.

28:26

I have the blows of anger. And he slit your

28:28

family's throat right in front of your face. Wow.

28:31

Zachary's sister, mom. Kaiser,

28:33

Jose. And

28:33

I let the blood

28:35

tonight. Make it real personal. So you guys

28:38

were clipping at each other about it. So he

28:40

came in hot. I was just like dude, and also I

28:42

had

28:42

explained it to him

28:43

a couple of times. Yeah.

28:45

I gotta be explained things. Fifteen times. So fifteen times,

28:47

not even joking. To the point where I go, hey, man.

28:49

He's like, well, the two thousand and five

28:51

hundred and this and that, and I just go,

28:54

hey, listen. He was we were arguing. I can't do

28:56

this. I'm just we're gonna let the account handle all

28:58

this. Like, moving forward, he's just gonna

29:00

make all the payments. Yeah. And

29:02

he can explain don't like that. He don't like he don't like

29:04

Some outsider. He's definitely gonna rip us

29:07

off. Well, yeah. That's how the world

29:09

works.

29:09

Yeah. You

29:10

never been out in public before. It's just

29:11

you're gonna get fucked. Sure. And by the

29:13

way, the more money you make, the more you get fucked. Sure. But

29:15

that is also the balance of the world that I

29:17

kind of appreciate.

29:18

Right? In a in a a little bit of a liberal cocky way --

29:21

Right.

29:21

-- where I'm like, you make more money. You deserve

29:23

to get fucked a little bit more than the guy who makes

29:25

less than you. So get fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. There's

29:27

just, like, you know, You're better off than

29:29

there's more hands in the

29:30

pot. Yeah. But fine. Let me get it.

29:32

Course. Get it out.

29:33

Which is a communist podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

29:35

Hell out of here. So a set

29:37

up. The red the red

29:38

flag drops on the background. Raul's all

29:40

slow motion.

29:40

Now we you know what I mean? Stop talk pretty heavily

29:43

about this because we talk about show

29:45

and what happens over time and blah blah blah and

29:47

all that stuff about. And it is true

29:49

that I do really feel like

29:52

the more money that you make in our

29:54

business. And anyway, there is a lot

29:56

more hands in the pot, a lot of more people are trying

29:58

to eat. It's just I'm willing

30:00

to lose more money if

30:02

it's people that I Santino help

30:04

out and show the thing. So it's almost

30:06

like that's the balance of making a little bit more

30:08

money. If you save it all if you fuck everyone off and

30:10

save it

30:11

all, you're gonna miserable lonely guy with a few more bucks.

30:13

Sure. Worthless. We took most of it.

30:15

I'm I'm ready

30:15

to bur let's say we were broke for a decade.

30:17

I'm like, ugh. I that's

30:20

new that. This is new to

30:21

me. Right. I'm happy in the darkness. Like, that's a

30:24

hard lesson to learn. Right? Because because because as you

30:26

get a little bit more just a few more bucks,

30:28

even you're just, like, Well, fucking, I'd like it. You know,

30:30

I want to keep more of it. Yeah. But then to keep

30:32

growing, you do need to feed other people. That's just Sure.

30:34

Hard to work this

30:34

time. We had we had higher, you know I mean, now it's

30:37

like a team of, like We pretty much had a

30:39

better day. Especially in the beginning when

30:40

we first started tolled in two thousand

30:43

twenty one, We lost all money. We did a we did a

30:45

couple of shows with some local people. We're

30:47

like, fuck it. Let's let's bring our

30:49

our fucking reality. Right.

30:51

Who's who's a who's a

30:52

comedian. We started together. Let's bring

30:54

Tommy with this out on the road and just

30:56

put everything back into the making the shows

30:59

the best

30:59

It's also like -- Right. -- because we were eating it for a while. Well, that

31:01

and this might have been around that time. Sure.

31:04

Now we that we'd that we'd that we

31:06

were that we were arguing. Barking at each

31:08

other. But it was it was one phone call. Yeah.

31:10

No. That happened. I mean, like, we we

31:12

don't have, like, big week long

31:15

fights because it's so explosive

31:17

and then we go, wait, it's like a brother. It sounds

31:19

corny, but it's like one of us will crack a joke

31:21

about it within seven minutes and then it's like

31:23

normal. It's over and you go, alright.

31:25

And we we both have accepted we're nuts. And I'm like,

31:27

it's it's and he's like, I don't wanna fight

31:29

anymore ago. That's stupid to think we're never

31:31

gonna fight again. Right. Like, just accept

31:33

we're gonna fight. And then when it

31:34

happens, you can just fucking go, like, alright. Cool. We'll get past it.

31:37

Right. The next one will happen in six months, and

31:39

then it is what it Because company

31:41

partners are tough, you know, like me and Bob, you know. It's like that's it it me

31:43

and Bobby, it's tough.

31:46

It's tough because we known

31:48

each other for a very long time. We

31:50

started working together four years

31:52

ago in that in this world. Sure.

31:54

And so, like, your relationship from what it used to

31:56

be when we just met as friends and

31:58

comedians shifted so heavily into business partners, comedy

32:00

partners. Mhmm. There's so many things that go along with

32:02

that that people don't understand. Mhmm. Yeah. Your life

32:04

partners, basically. You're which I'm I see this

32:07

fucking guy too much.

32:09

You know worse. So at any point,

32:12

there is those

32:14

moments where you're like, I don't

32:16

want this to break us up, but it does get

32:18

harder as time goes on you to find a way

32:20

to, like, curb the bullshit. Yeah. Of course. Because you

32:22

start barking at each other and it gets tough.

32:24

Yeah. No. I wouldn't want any other way. He kept me as

32:26

a smart guy. He comes from a background

32:28

where, you know, his family owned businesses and

32:30

he worked in and stuff like

32:31

that. He knows what he's doing It was a

32:34

family hall fucking idiot.

32:35

Construction HVAC employment. I mean, it's

32:37

like -- No. -- close to your market. Plus,

32:39

I'll whack it.

32:40

Yeah. Yeah. I know

32:41

shit. construction, you bodies are underneath

32:43

the building. We found a ton

32:44

of bodies underneath fourteen. I still wanna keep

32:46

my no show

32:47

jobs. Okay. That's good, Betty. You know what

32:50

I mean? Now you gotta have it. Me and

32:52

Polion still hanging out. Alright. Let's

32:54

let and as you guys have

32:56

grown together in this thing now I've

32:58

learned a couple pounds. I mean, I don't know if you

33:01

have you found

33:03

yourself doing less

33:06

garbage and getting a little bit

33:06

fancier? Or No. I mean, like, this is kinda funny. I wanna talk

33:09

about this. You guys were obviously in

33:11

Paris, right, for the for that

33:13

cool

33:13

event. A

33:13

fashion show, insane shit. No business being there. Nothing where he stands

33:15

for four

33:16

days. I don't know. Yeah. Looked out so many Dude, while

33:18

you guys were there, we were, like, look, you know, it's all of

33:20

our boys are, like, oh, shit. That's fucking

33:22

sick. were in Sayersville,

33:24

New Jersey at a storage unit auction,

33:26

buying a storage unit to go through

33:28

and see if we can make money. I was like,

33:30

these fucking dudes are gonna I have

33:32

to jet to go to the Russian museum. I get it,

33:35

dude. I get

33:35

it. No need two hundred into a storage unit

33:37

in New Jersey. Okay. Well, good. First

33:39

of all, that sounds more fun.

33:42

Yeah. I'll still take a good time. No. We had we we had

33:44

a good time. It was just it was unexpected

33:46

and weird and, you know, I can't believe

33:48

it just didn't make

33:49

sense. And the crew was wild. It was fun. It was me, Theo,

33:52

Matteo, Stavros. Fun

33:53

to show things. Well, Jessica was great. It

33:55

was great. It was great.

33:57

And, also, we got to make the whole thing

34:00

was, this kid kid's super. He

34:02

just wanted like he wanted to do a

34:04

different fashion show because fashion shows are are dog shit. They're

34:06

miserable. Like, they're they're twenty minutes

34:08

long. And people sit there quietly and they watch people walk in weird clothes

34:10

and it's usually shitty music. Sometimes

34:12

it's cool music, but it's a

34:15

stupid concept. It's boring. Yeah. It's like, I could

34:17

just see this on the Internet. So he

34:19

was like, you know, he's kind of a he's a

34:21

young dude -- Young cold dude. -- good Irish

34:23

I mean, his old man from Ireland. Nice. He's in he still

34:26

isn't in Ireland. Nice.

34:28

And really funny guy. We're in

34:30

the fast. Action game. Alright? No. It's kinda wild. His

34:32

son. Right.

34:33

Yeah. He was a New York guy. And by the way,

34:35

everybody got high with his dad's dad. Stop roasting

34:37

my wool sweaters.

34:39

That's that's Turbine. Let me play ahandsome kiss. That was

34:42

nuts. And but he

34:44

but his kid Kids Super was, like, I just wanna do something

34:46

unique because these shows are fat. They're short anyway, dude.

34:48

Yeah. So

34:49

he's, like, Can you just do three minutes? That's fun. Just

34:51

while Tyria Banks

34:52

had to change into a new outfit. So, you know,

34:54

it's we're just servicing them. We're we're servicing

34:56

her

34:56

You're in MC. You know, it was

34:58

a fucking That's great. It's so much fun. We just went out there. He was like,

35:01

no nothing's off limits. No language, no

35:03

you know how sometimes people are like, don't make

35:05

fun of the thing. He

35:07

was like, make just do

35:09

whatever. Yeah. Yeah. My first joke, I

35:09

was like, it's great to be here in Paris, the the epic

35:12

epicenter of Bolemia. Yeah.

35:14

Yeah. They actually let they worked. And I was like,

35:16

well, you

35:18

can't be the food is too good. And, like, after those two hit

35:20

back to back, it was

35:21

good. Well,

35:21

I wrote it. I wrote nothing but jokes for the

35:23

thing because we were all talking me and stopping everyone when

35:25

we were in

35:27

the hotel. Like, Should we write jokes for the thing

35:29

or use old materials? Weird. Yeah. Yeah. I was

35:31

like, should we use material we know?

35:33

And so he was like, fuck it,

35:35

dude.

35:35

Just do shit on what

35:37

we are.

35:38

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

35:38

And what we're doing. That was that was kind of the

35:41

easiest way to get over it. But, honestly, dude,

35:43

I was really stoked about it

35:45

because it was so unique it was

35:46

a straight into a

35:47

challenge. It was a challenge. For sure a challenge. That's not your audience. It was

35:49

you would do a nice dinner

35:51

together? Yeah. Actually, we did we did

35:53

the most romantic thing was the breakfast we

35:55

took. We went to like this, really a friend of mine texted me about a spot that was like go

35:57

to this. Locals like this breakfast spot. You'll have to

35:59

wait in line and do it

36:02

out there. These motherfuckers

36:04

wait outside in the freezing cold, you

36:06

know, because there is no these restaurants

36:08

are half the size of this studio.

36:10

So it's five tables. So you're waiting

36:12

outside for whatever, and then luckily it was me,

36:14

Matteo, and Stavros who are

36:16

both very easy going. Yeah. Stavros doesn't

36:18

give a shit. Yeah. Here's, like, even a

36:20

track suit. It was, you know, it was it was twenty six degrees. Couldn't care Hair

36:22

still wet from the shower. That too doesn't care.

36:24

So when he sat outside, he's the man. Shout

36:27

off the style. And we sat outside until it was ready. And when it was ready, it was

36:29

phenomenal food and we had that together. That was probably the

36:32

nicest meal we had because the other meals are kind of

36:34

on the

36:35

go. We had someone to do -- Yeah. --

36:37

who scooped up that check.

36:38

I think I did. Yeah. But I

36:40

mean, we all everybody paid something. Everyone

36:42

everyone checked it. Yeah. Stavros

36:44

is fine. Yeah. Yeah. But Kayo is trying.

36:47

Yeah. Those are good. Yeah. Those guys are doing

36:49

phenomenal. I'm happy to see how many New York

36:51

guys you guys include

36:52

it. Right? We're

36:53

new we're new friends, but I guess gotta

36:55

tell you, when I heard about you guys and

36:57

then saw your shit and then someone was like, you gotta do their

36:59

shit, I was like, I will. I

37:01

will. To see some of you guys and and people, like, on

37:03

the rise in New

37:04

York, it does warm the old ginger sparky. Thank

37:06

you, buddy. You're you're very sweet. And all every

37:09

time we text or whatever, it's like, You

37:11

always get back. Oh, yeah. You're a very sweet genuine

37:13

guy. Not

37:14

always. I don't always get back. I gotta preserve some

37:16

of my It's all of your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

37:18

And

37:18

you know why I'm not texting you

37:21

back

37:21

yet.

37:21

Come over a punch me in the face. Yeah. So a

37:23

big guy. No. I do. I yeah. I

37:26

because because I

37:28

think that whole thing about I'm

37:30

too busy as a little bit of a bullshit. It's bullshit. You are very busy.

37:32

Sometimes I'll get back to you when I can.

37:34

But also, people don't get back

37:38

to you.

37:38

It's a little like It's saying something without saying

37:40

something. I think it's a fuck you. I do.

37:41

Yeah. At the very least go, hey, I'm swamp right now.

37:44

Can I hear you back in

37:46

a little

37:46

Yeah? Yeah. Or hit me a couple hours, dude. I was on a I had a thing fine.

37:48

But when you text someone and they don't say

37:50

anything back and then you see them and

37:53

they, you know, column federal had a whole thing when he got home mad at me because he

37:55

told me he's a fucking he's a

37:56

I was just with the Atlanta. He's a wild man. When he got mad

37:59

at me

37:59

about the St. Patty's day which

38:01

is way far away. And he's like, oh, are

38:02

you gonna you know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

38:05

He's

38:05

there. I think Santino. He hasn't

38:06

committed yet, and I wanna be like, dude. He's

38:08

gonna be five

38:09

years instead. I go, dude, you you that's, like, asking me, you know, what my grandkids

38:12

names are gonna be. I don't have fucking he got mad

38:14

at me about a Super

38:14

Bowl box pool that I think he

38:18

sent out and fucking like He set it up pretty easy. Is anybody one of my Super Bowl?

38:20

Oh, dude. I'll take one just to get you

38:23

off my bed. I

38:26

just say he got mad. I said, dude, and I saw him at the seller. When I got here, I

38:28

said, I knew I was coming to New York. I knew I was gonna see you.

38:30

Mhmm. I was gonna text you anyway. Yeah. Also,

38:32

March, let's just kind of relax.

38:35

I know. We'll get there. I know.

38:36

Well, then

38:37

I'm learning this because, like, hey, you know, when

38:38

we text me back, you know, when we first started them, you

38:40

started talking to make your comments and become

38:43

friends with them, like, haven't heard back from, you know,

38:45

whoever yet. Sure. And then we're like, oh, fuck the

38:47

rice in us, this or that. They must not like us.

38:49

And then I'm like, And then as

38:51

we get busier and stuff, you go, oh,

38:53

shit. Like, yep. I can't imagine what

38:56

you're, like, you're, like, you're a little bit, like, schultz. I would

38:58

say shultz.

38:58

Like, he's

38:58

not he's never doing something. Of that's when I go

39:01

like, oh, it's not personal. It's like -- Of course.

39:03

-- some people are in five different states in three days

39:05

and -- Yeah. -- travel and

39:07

you know, somebody or, you know, somebody about

39:10

scheduling a podcast in a month isn't the most

39:12

important. It's super hard. But if you got back to

39:14

me from a private jet, I'd be mad

39:16

at you. Don't know

39:17

if you don't even have WiFi. I got WiFi. No. But I'd

39:19

be mad. He's supposed to

39:20

be doing

39:20

private jet stuff. You know what it

39:24

is? Cohorton you're sitting on WiFi and looking at Twitter and Instagram and nothing

39:26

like that. Of

39:26

course. Of course. It's eight

39:27

hours. Eight and a half hours. We talked for the

39:29

most the most time, but some of the

39:31

guys wanted to sleep. But Old

39:34

knew. I said, I'm not sleeping on this

39:36

plane. I'm gonna fight it till I get to New York

39:38

and crash at Last night, I was exhausted

39:41

it. Uh-huh. And I was eating chicken, sad,

39:43

tired, like, barely awake. She's been,

39:45

like, make it till seven PM. Mhmm. Make

39:47

it till eight PM. Finally, I was watching the game and I

39:49

was nodding in and out of the night game. And

39:50

finally, like, right as the game was ending, I

39:52

-- Nice. -- I was gone last

39:55

night. And now I'm I feel great.

39:57

Well, I feel fine. I I beat

39:57

So it's easier coming

39:58

back to Well, you

39:58

just gotta beat the thing. If you can beat we

40:00

did it there too. If you can beat the thing, you're

40:04

good.

40:04

Yeah. If

40:04

you can just trick your body into thinking that you're on on the

40:06

loan schedule, my thing is, could we go to Germany

40:09

a lot a couple times a year to see

40:11

my wife's family? Right. And I'll

40:13

get and it fucks me up on the way they are real

40:15

bad. Depending on what time I get in or

40:17

whatever, and I'll wake up at, like, three in the morning

40:19

-- Yeah. -- or

40:20

whatever. And then you're just the rest of the fucking two

40:22

days is screwed. So you get real fucked

40:24

up the first night. So you

40:25

shut your brain

40:26

down and you at least wake up at,

40:28

like, seven AM and you go, alright, have a normal

40:30

day. Smart I'm on a normal day. I don't

40:33

get it. I don't I don't get fucking jet lag.

40:35

I don't know why. I don't I

40:36

keep my I've never gotten it. I keep my watch on York time, and I

40:39

always just check it. That's my

40:41

sweet old

40:41

sailor dude. I never got it.

40:44

I

40:44

never got it, ma'am. I never

40:46

got it, ma'am. I never never been affected by it. Now

40:48

how was the furthest away from home

40:51

that you've been? Hawaii. Right.

40:52

And I guess that's what the time difference are. Six hours? Yeah. So that's kind of the

40:54

same as going to your plane. Yeah. But that way,

40:56

he's My answer swells up from

40:59

the plane.

41:00

Your ankles get do you wear all those compression pants when you get on the plane? Yeah. They wear compression

41:02

pants. Yeah, man. That's

41:03

a whole thing surrounding one. Because I've been dragging

41:05

around switching the airports how

41:07

many times you have to get up in the middle of the fight to walk around to

41:09

get the blood moving. You know, do you

41:11

do that? I don't. I should do. I should

41:13

probably ninety five minutes. Think of p, whatever, do

41:15

a lap. Did

41:16

you answer do a handstand and get the blood back to

41:18

your heart. But when we when we go this time,

41:20

I'm gonna fucking wear them the bed. Compression

41:23

sleeves? Yeah. Dumb my socks. Yeah. Dumb my

41:25

socks. Yeah. We go upstairs. Two socks. Because the

41:27

problem is you get I'm walking around like fucking

41:29

aunt Rita with fucking my

41:30

ankle. I'll slow up and my fucking

41:34

crocs. And then when I get something like a you're shoving dough into a Yeah.

41:36

The fucking spoon. I am. It's

41:38

brutal. Well, tell me how much how much

41:40

do you weigh right now? Four

41:42

twenty five. What's the what's the biggest you

41:45

ever what? Four twenty

41:46

five. The biggest you've ever been.

41:50

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I went down to three

41:52

eighty -- Three eighty. -- seven eighty five in the

41:54

summer. Yeah. And then That's

41:56

the

41:56

goal. BLUE Pest

41:58

Awards. Come on, Kelli. Kidding

42:01

me.

42:01

Could you all Bobby Kelly dynamically

42:03

changed everything.

42:04

Yeah. It was so strange. It's crossing

42:06

his legs now. Really showing off for the other

42:08

Well, I I could tell it hurts though when he does

42:10

it. He's gotta he's gotta pull the bandwagon

42:12

when he

42:13

dropped it. That's the

42:14

goal to be able to cross Now I'd like get down to

42:16

about two hundred. Two hundred. I would

42:18

like to get down to two hundred. Yeah. That's where I

42:20

am. I'm

42:20

two hundred. I was

42:21

one seventy one and thirty

42:23

four. College. You're one

42:24

hundred and

42:25

seventy nine? One hundred and seventy one. And college one hundred and seventy one? Yeah. But I would

42:27

yeah. That's But I

42:27

would go I would fluctuate back and forth. Even

42:30

in high school, two

42:32

thirty five in the fall

42:33

to, like, one seventy in

42:36

the winter for football -- Right. --

42:38

football.

42:38

And then in knowledge. It was the same thing with football and

42:41

the cross. I was, like, two thirty,

42:43

two fifty, and then in the

42:45

spring, I would lose, like, sixty pounds just

42:47

because all the running across. Damn.

42:49

Yeah. There was a time in New York where you

42:51

were probably my size now. Mhmm.

42:54

And I was probably, like, one. Not like,

42:56

we were we were, like, too young. I

42:58

still feel fat. I'm looking at different. Me

43:00

too. I still feel fat too. I look at picture.

43:02

I thought I was fat in high school, and I look

43:04

at pictures. I'm like, goddamn it. Why didn't I have fucking got could've

43:06

been cleaning

43:07

up? I thought I was the fat

43:09

kid. In

43:09

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I like tenders. But I feel like you've

44:48

never had a

44:49

problem with women your whole life.

44:51

I mean, I wouldn't

44:54

say that. You did. You had a problem? I mean, not a problem. What do you mean a problem? I mean,

44:56

did you have trouble getting girls when you were young?

44:58

No. I don't think so. Yeah. That's what I mean. That's

45:00

what I

45:02

mean. So Yeah. I mean, dude, you have to

45:04

tell him that you're running a business with this

45:05

guy. Yeah. I give him a compliment. He's like, oh, fuck

45:07

you. I was like, there you go. Well, I tell him

45:09

the account. Gonna start paying it.

45:11

No. No. Yeah. Making

45:11

less money is good for me. And I wasn't back on, like,

45:14

the hottest chicken, ice core, and it doesn't matter. But

45:16

you were doing

45:16

you you My point is you both got

45:19

a

45:19

struggle because you're affable, you're a

45:22

good looking

45:22

guy. Rarely struggle. Yeah. Yeah. You were

45:24

fine. Okay. You never had trouble. No. There

45:26

was never a time but did a girl ever really shatter your heart? You ever

45:29

have a girl shatter your soul? Yeah. Yeah. Give

45:31

us the most embarrassing one.

45:34

Give me the one that heard. The

45:36

one

45:36

that really heard the okay. So

45:38

one sent me into a

45:41

five year depression. I

45:44

was dating this girl who I

45:46

really really liked it. It was when I lived up here

45:48

the first time. I moved up here once right

45:51

after I went to I I didn't finish college,

45:54

went to theater

45:54

school, and then moved up here and was supposed to

45:56

be an actor, but I was just doing blow and working

45:58

at restaurants. So you were being

46:00

an actor?

46:01

Yeah. Yeah. And met this

46:04

girl, fucking hottest chick ever,

46:06

loved her, blah, blah, blah, blah,

46:08

dated for, you know, like, very

46:10

very heavy for two or three

46:12

years, and then and then she dumped me.

46:14

And I just stayed at my apartment for, like,

46:16

five years doing blow. What was

46:18

the reason she said Sheila? I mean, I was a

46:20

huge loser. What

46:21

what do you mean? I wasn't doing anything. You

46:23

just yeah. You weren't doing. You got very

46:25

comfortable. Your motivation level was low. Oh, very low.

46:27

But look but look

46:28

at you now.

46:29

Yeah. I think what did it is we

46:31

were in the grocery store one time, and I

46:33

was very immature. I saw

46:35

you start laughing.

46:37

I was in the grocery store one time and there was a woman

46:39

in front of us and she was buying

46:42

like a cantaloupe or something like that.

46:44

And I started

46:46

smacking it around on the conveyor belt. I

46:48

mean, I mean and the

46:50

woman got really mad. She's like, hey, what are

46:52

you doing? Don't

46:54

do that. And I, like, yelled at her or something like that. What's the

46:55

problem? She's not gonna eat outside

46:56

of it. Who cares? It's a bit. The

46:57

next day I went to her house and she had all my

47:00

stuff packed in should

47:02

all my clothes fold it in trash

47:04

bags? Holy cow. That's how I knew it was

47:06

serious. And one single

47:07

cantalop on the pillow, the side of bed. You sleep.

47:09

I needed that to me. And

47:11

I walked out of there.

47:13

I remember her roommates boyfriend

47:16

who, like, we'd be all become friends like the two

47:18

little couples. He was Santino on

47:20

the couch. And I had my fucking trash bag over my shoulder out.

47:22

Oh, good. Let's see you

47:24

later, man. And he was just like,

47:27

Yeah. He knew he knew there was no chance that you seen in

47:29

a way. Well, he could have been nicer. He could have

47:32

been. You know what was fucked up is that she had got me

47:34

tickets to Billy Joel,

47:36

Elton John. Which was, like, a few months later, and she

47:38

still hit me up to go. And I was

47:40

still in love with her. Like, I was still calling her and

47:42

all that stuff.

47:44

That's

47:44

okay. Man, I was doing That's Everything took

47:46

a She got you tickets. She got us

47:48

tickets. She okay. Sure. For my birthday. So

47:50

she got you tickets. Yeah. This is

47:54

what's gross. She got you tickets. Yeah. She used it for her own, you

47:56

know, for her own benefit, and then was like, when you

47:58

broke up, he's like, well, I still wanna

47:59

go. Sure. You took her.

48:01

Took her. She did that under

48:02

the guise of hold go and hold

48:04

be cool because he'll be trying to get me back.

48:06

That's not okay then. I

48:09

was trying everything. Yeah. Didn't work. Did it? No. Because she

48:11

was a bully. That's a mean move. Yeah. You should've told

48:13

her to fuck herself in Boston. You're like, no. I'm pregnant

48:15

taking some other girl. Even if you weren't, you

48:17

should've just lied. I'm taking somebody else. Yeah. That was a sharp play attempt. That

48:19

was a yeah.

48:20

That was a that was a bully being honest.

48:22

I think that was a bully move on her part. She

48:24

broke up again. You gotta let that go. Yeah.

48:27

That's, like, asking for jewelry back. Like, you

48:29

fucking cheap fuck. It's over. You'd it's,

48:32

like, if you if you give someone something when

48:34

you're in the

48:35

relationship,

48:35

when it's over, That's

48:36

an engagement ring. If you got engaged, would you actually engage your ring

48:38

back? No. Really? I think she should for

48:40

some body. She should probably give it back.

48:43

And it's a you know, it's an identity. It's

48:45

a She probably wanna give it

48:46

back. I just didn't tell you a fuck yourself. Get out of it.

48:48

I don't want this. This is old. But if you gave a

48:50

ring over to a woman, whether it's engagement marriage,

48:53

jewelry for whatever -- Yeah. -- when it's

48:55

older, I would never

48:55

answer that. You're out. It's old. It's old.

48:58

Yeah. Fuck that. I mean, that's yeah. But

49:00

she the woman would probably want to get a I don't want

49:02

getting

49:02

I don't want that yet. Probably part of it. No. She

49:04

did a number on me. But I just anytime

49:06

I've gotten dumped, I completely deserved it.

49:09

not

49:10

true. I think it. Yeah. It is. You think

49:12

everything's Just in

49:13

my specific case. He'll back me up. Yeah. I either

49:15

got too comfortable. If I don't know it doesn't

49:17

dare do that. I

49:19

thought he just subconsciously knows. Yeah. That does

49:21

he does he. He's probably not wrong.

49:23

He

49:23

he probably He's a lot.

49:25

He's, you know, you're you're great, and I love you.

49:28

But then you actually know. He's

49:30

he's a lot. Oh, he's a lot. It's

49:32

a twenty four seven. It's a lot,

49:34

a big man. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're

49:36

my Bobby

49:37

Lee. Couple of our brands though.

49:38

And it's funny every time you do meet, like, another group

49:40

like, it's, like, comedy Like, even, like, Ocony and

49:42

Tommy, it's, yeah, me and Ocony, and

49:44

it's, like, him and Tom or you need both

49:47

to make it Eric. Me

49:49

and Omnicomie. Me and O'Connor have

49:51

had the same conversation on O'Connor

49:53

and you have had.

49:54

Of course. We've shared the same phone call about being, like, this motherfucker.

49:56

Right now. Right now. It's so funny. It's a

49:58

through, like, the four of us will all be together and, like,

50:00

Den too, or, like, you know, you know,

50:03

stealing each other's noses and stuff. Yeah. I

50:05

mean, O'Connor just like So me,

50:06

you and O'Connor just started a show, and Bobby, you and Thomas

50:09

just started

50:09

a show. Let's do

50:10

it. You know, why I I

50:11

just Tell me calling us every four seconds, son. I guarantee you not one of

50:13

your episodes gets published. But they're but they're

50:15

phenomenal. Right.

50:16

They're all phenomenal. They're all

50:19

fantastic. No one ever's did I ever see the light of

50:21

that? We just did look at Dish, their their

50:23

Patreon cooking show. Yeah. Was it

50:26

Sunday or it's

50:28

Wednesday? Wednesday. And we both haven't been drinking. We've been taking it real easy.

50:30

One, we're with the boys.

50:32

And you're gonna get fucked up. He's

50:33

on the phone with Ocado. You guys forget to

50:36

sign up. Yeah. That was on

50:38

Friday. Yeah. I said, you're the vice

50:39

president, saying, like, getting out the right one

50:41

thing. Great. What I say,

50:41

keep he said keep keep him not working. So we still so

50:44

we, you know, we realize we're, you know, alright, we're

50:46

doing this. We started I'm not gonna break I

50:48

was, like, two weeks off the sauce, and I was,

50:50

like, if I'm I'm not just gonna have a glass

50:53

of wine for the

50:53

show. Right. Let's fucking let's all go get fucked up. Thanks. If we're

50:56

doing

50:56

this, I'm I'm

50:56

blowing the fucking doors off it. Right. And,

50:59

Johnny, why I love him is there's

51:02

always that point in the night where you see

51:04

him cross the river --

51:05

Oh, yeah. -- into Ocoddyville. Oh, yeah.

51:07

And you'll

51:07

be having, like, a normal

51:10

conversation with him. And then all of a

51:12

sudden, he'll hit you with something. You're like,

51:13

oh, you're fine. Yeah. You're out

51:15

there. Yeah. Do you tell you do you tell

51:17

you

51:17

about Boston? No. Fucking idiot.

51:20

And we already had a conversation about it. I love them with all my

51:22

heart and soul, so it doesn't make it the best. Always one of my

51:24

best friends on Earth and,

51:26

like, you know, first show. We got

51:28

four shows for New Year's Eve. We have four shows. Okay? You know, this motherfucker show

51:30

one, we go out and he's like,

51:32

day drinking and I'm like, hey man,

51:36

have a have, like, one or two beers, but, like, let's you know? Yeah. They were

51:38

gonna be professionals. You

51:39

know what

51:39

I'm saying? We have a job. Bring

51:41

it in. Mhmm. This

51:43

dude shows up annihilated.

51:48

Annihilated. And with

51:50

a guy, don't know that he

51:51

got. Some man, I don't know. He's got to do. Yeah. Some dude that he

51:53

met because he was at the ball looking for

51:56

friends,

51:56

bro. He was like, I'm open

51:59

sixteen. Well, here's

51:59

what's funny is to bring a guy home from the bus

52:01

station. A guy came

52:04

back. What's his randall? He's good people. Why

52:06

can't people deal with

52:07

that? Why can't I think well, I'm so dumb.

52:09

I'm drawing such a bad way. Kevin can't he doesn't show with Clancy,

52:11

with Kevin. Fadelberg. Yeah. Fadelberg. Yeah.

52:12

Drove down to Boston to

52:16

come hang went to the bar, got so fucked up. They met this guy,

52:18

Fatima, went back to the hotel to sleep, and

52:20

Connor brought this guy to the show, a man

52:22

that they got fucked up with. So

52:24

I'm like, who is this guy?

52:26

He's like, Friedberg. I'm like, this isn't

52:28

Friedberg. I'm like, I don't

52:30

remember. And he's like, he's very poor, no.

52:32

You didn't show

52:34

me. Poor slices smashing this. He was like,

52:35

no, I met this guy with Feidelberg and I

52:38

was like, yeah. But who the fuck is yeah?

52:40

What? Feidelberg

52:41

is the equation. I guy's also

52:43

gotta go. No. So he brought him along, showed up the guy fell

52:43

asleep stage side. Connor gets on the mic, by the

52:46

way, and it's the he he'll admit, it was

52:48

a tough

52:50

show. Yeah. He goes on the mic, and this guy's literally on the

52:52

side say, knocked out. I'm like,

52:54

dude, get him the fuck out of here. Even

52:57

he made up for it. It was fine by second show. That is a

52:59

good

52:59

Irishman. He fucking boop up. Get some water --

53:02

Yeah. -- smack himself in the face to come out there. They

53:04

do

53:04

the wish he's too man. They a little him,

53:06

but also I called you or I called him

53:08

on Thursday if he was gonna come to

53:10

the city before I

53:12

left. And he goes, I'm with Ari

53:14

Garbors Boys, and I knew right away -- Right. --

53:16

slurred up. I would say that

53:17

my favorite We

53:18

got there. They were already pretty bang. Yeah.

53:21

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My favorite thing over the last

53:23

year year year and a half is

53:25

getting the four of us getting fucked

53:27

up

53:27

together. Yeah. Oh, that is that fun.

53:29

That's what you just did on Thursday. Yeah. Yeah. that's

53:30

also a thank you. That's my favorite thing. We're

53:32

all ex like, the four of us are

53:35

experienced in success kinda together,

53:38

like, a year, but you know what I mean? Like Yeah. They we

53:40

popped in twenty twenty. They popped in twenty twenty one. So it's,

53:42

like, we're all, like, let's go to the fucking world

53:44

series together. Like, now we have, like Right. Money to blow on a

53:46

ticket and go I'm like, so it's it's this

53:48

cool thing where you're like, your peers again. Like,

53:50

we were like so struggling now. We're like, oh,

53:52

we're all living the same

53:54

life, experiencing the same things type

53:55

thing. And it's

53:55

kinda nice. It's fun to have like this drink. It's the

53:57

best. And

53:58

you sauced out for two weeks you were off off the

54:00

juice. Yeah. My my stepdad passed from kind of,

54:02

you know, already been running heavy like that.

54:04

Dude, you're fucking dead. So

54:07

long We we took a couple lumps to pass here. He saw what he

54:09

he did he have Smokeing and drill yeah.

54:12

Life is smoking and drinking and

54:15

I was trying to get off too because I was like, dude, I

54:17

hadn't been off. I don't think I've

54:19

gone three days since the pandemic

54:22

started

54:23

off drinking. Uh-huh. I guess it's from launches happening. Even

54:25

one or two, but, like World series really got

54:27

to us. Yeah. We went because we're

54:29

hanging out with us too,

54:31

Tommy, Oconi, Gilles,

54:34

and my boy from home, we would just fucking drank for, like, five, six

54:36

days straight. Yeah. And I just like, I'm

54:38

getting too old, man. The hangover is

54:41

fucking kill you. I'm getting fat. So I'm like, I gotta fucking

54:43

trim down, but it's, you know, it's tough. It's hard. You

54:45

know, look, you know,

54:46

everyone did that dry January thing, which I

54:48

don't adhere to. I think that's that's com

54:51

Yeah. Mine wasn't because of that. Mine was just, like,

54:53

I I genuinely need to get off the bat.

54:55

Well, I've gone through these streaks. I mean, I I just talked to

54:57

DeRosa about this because he went through a a existential

54:59

crisis on this

55:00

show. About about it, not

55:02

even roses. Yeah. I was like, dude, you gotta you

55:04

gotta you gotta work with yourself

55:06

and not think about somebody else -- No. -- the

55:08

judgment and all that I said, just work with your self on

55:10

what you wanna control. Because dude, I'm a big drinker. I love drinking. I've

55:12

always I mean, this show is about drinking. So we're

55:14

good

55:14

time. Well, we're not

55:15

doing it now

55:16

because it's ten AM. But, like,

55:18

my whole thing was was possible before I got it.

55:19

I can tell. Hey. You didn't tie

55:21

your shoes, so I can tell. I know you can't

55:23

tie your shoes because you're right. I thought about it when

55:25

I said it.

55:28

I

55:28

go fuck. I thought there'd be APA or something anyway. waiting for

55:30

those back in the future self tying

55:33

and lacing now. No.

55:35

But but I do understand that.

55:38

I'm just just cleaning it up, you know. I just got I

55:40

yeah. It just got too you know, it's

55:42

also again, like, you know, like, let's go out

55:44

to a very nice

55:45

restaurant. Like -- Yeah. -- that

55:47

leads to five Manhattan. And then your what about your

55:49

old lady? Does she like drinking? Not really.

55:51

She cut back actually

55:52

have, like, one or two, but, like, not nearly Not like you. No. Not about

55:54

you. Did you you and you does your girl drink like

55:56

you do? Or Not so she did when she was

55:59

younger, but not not so much now. Now what about you?

56:01

Are you heavy like him? Or are you not drinking

56:03

that much? I've been we've been fucking

56:05

boozing

56:05

that. You're wanting to

56:07

save it up. Oh, yeah.

56:09

Not one of you is bigger than the other one of drinking. You're both kinda you

56:11

guys No. It's like if we're boosin we're boosin the

56:13

same way. If it's like we're boosin, we're fucking.

56:16

Alright. know, let's Let's shut the machine

56:17

down. So until

56:18

the shows are tough because you do

56:21

two double tequila and sodas. During the

56:23

show?

56:23

After the franchise.

56:24

Did you drink before

56:25

the show? No. You drink on stage? No.

56:27

I'll have probably one before,

56:28

like, when the show starts, I'll have a

56:30

Bud Light, and then I'll probably take one up

56:32

with me. Like, a a fresh one up

56:35

I can't even do that with

56:36

spots in the city. I don't I don't drink. Interesting.

56:38

Yeah. Oh, wow. That's never that's

56:40

always been my I'm always good about

56:42

slipping slow on one before I go

56:43

on. Yeah. I need to take it to the stage. I need to get out of my

56:45

own head because otherwise it's too I've been and,

56:47

like, since I haven't been drinking in the city, we're running around

56:49

doing spots, and

56:52

it's like, so not fun and so tight in my head of,

56:54

like, hit the words. What's like the it's like

56:56

I just need to and the show It's bad,

56:58

but, like, I need that

57:01

beer to, like, just lower my shoulders and, like, just

57:03

go

57:03

fight. You're a clown telling dick jokes at the end of

57:05

the

57:05

day. Right. Have

57:06

fun. Don't hold it so precious. There is

57:08

a thing of having one like the if

57:11

you have two drinks fifteen minutes before you

57:13

get on stage and it hits you perfectly

57:15

and your shoulders are dropped and you

57:17

catch the

57:18

wave. But it's tough

57:19

to recreate. Then also, like, we're rooting for me. Yeah. No. No. You chase that. If

57:21

you're, like, looking for

57:21

that every show, that's bad. Yeah. I can't

57:24

just have one. Right? I can't just have

57:26

one IPA. Feel

57:28

like I just had, like, chemotherapy. I got, like, real tired. I

57:30

got I got a I got a dart across the

57:32

river.

57:32

I gotta get I gotta get two with three. We got a couple

57:34

in there. Yeah. I got They didn't even feel like that

57:37

levels you

57:37

out. Yeah. You don't

57:38

you don't smoke past you? Do edibles. But, yeah, I'll smoke a little

57:40

doobie every once in a while if the kids have it. Yeah. What about

57:42

you? Yeah. Just now. That's why I had booze.

57:44

That's why I have, like, I mean,

57:47

I remember even in college, like, all my boys would be doing below. And then,

57:49

like, I didn't know they were doing below. They

57:51

don't go to the bathroom. And

57:53

then it'd be, like, you know, seven in the morning. And they're, like,

57:56

do you want someone? Like, no. I don't do blood. They're,

57:58

like, you just been like, drinking just

58:00

my Earth on drinking this with the

58:01

like, we're all doing performance

58:03

enhancing drugs on my Nami. I'm just

58:05

fucking just white knuckles.

58:06

I love the good stuff. Yeah. You can have it

58:08

anymore, but I love the good stuff. Because it's bad for

58:10

it. Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. But you do like it. Yeah. Yeah. Like,

58:13

unless they put the antibodies and shit like that in

58:15

it now, it's Right. You get a z pack now

58:17

when you sniff. Yeah. It's no good.

58:19

It's

58:19

called fountain. Any grass fed grass finished cocaine,

58:22

like a gentleman old

58:23

school. But no more.

58:25

Nah. When was

58:28

last time? Years ago, I'd

58:28

say. Oh, so it's but you've been good. You've been a good boy for a long time. Yeah.

58:31

Yeah. I've been a good boy. Well, let me hold on.

58:33

Let me get the producer. Bring

58:36

the Coke. He's having a huge play

58:38

to come through. Well, that was

58:40

one thing we did on the show. In the Paris

58:42

show, there's this very famous artist, may

58:44

or may not land on you, but got him j

58:46

Balvin. He's like famous Latin

58:48

artist. He's he is globally

58:50

-- Okay. -- one of the most famous guys

58:52

in the world. Mhmm.

58:54

Definitely not somebody, we would probably know you would probably know that well, but -- Okay. --

58:56

this guy's crazy famous, but he's from Columbia.

58:58

And so he says to the guy that's running the

59:00

show, can some of

59:02

the comics maybe write something. His his team, can they write something for him

59:04

maybe? Mhmm. You know, so we're all kicking around

59:05

jokes. And, of course, the first that lands on

59:08

coke. Well,

59:09

yeah. Way of course.

59:11

And his team is like, we can't do one of those. I'm

59:13

like, what? Yeah. What do you what

59:14

do you think people think of Columbia? Yeah.

59:16

I was like, what's the perception? What do

59:18

you

59:18

think the Albert view is? Yeah.

59:20

Comfort comfort our papayas. Like, no. We grab

59:22

the cartel, cut your uncle's

59:23

arm off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

59:25

No. No. We know so many coke jokes

59:28

that

59:29

everybody made.

59:30

Obviously, they went door to door, and every comment in the dressing room, they were, like,

59:32

coke joke. And everyone was, like, well, you can't

59:34

keep giving us coke jokes. I guess we

59:36

can. That you said make a funny joke

59:38

for a year for it. But he went out there and did, like,

59:40

one quick small thing because he wanted us, you

59:42

know, stay got in and out and

59:44

It was just wild to look out in the crowd

59:46

also because Kodak Black and Roddie Rich performed at the outset

59:49

of

59:49

that. Yeah. Just Kodak Black was

59:51

there with his baby I

59:54

don't know that. He's not. Dude, he's the man. He's standing

59:56

there. And literally after, like, after my

59:58

performance, I'm staring down. I see Kodak Black's

1:00:00

in the front

1:00:01

run. He goes like this. A

1:00:04

thumbs

1:00:04

up. I was like, dude, that's always having fun. Dude,

1:00:06

that's always having fun. Dude, he was having

1:00:08

such a good time, and it was such

1:00:11

just a real surreal moment for my

1:00:13

comedy, you know, comedy history

1:00:15

resume that, like, I'll know in

1:00:17

years down the road. You know, and

1:00:19

you guys will keep getting these things over time where you're like, that was fucking

1:00:21

insane. It'll never happen again. Mhmm. It did make any sense that

1:00:23

it lined up. I thought it was a joke when they

1:00:25

first called about

1:00:28

it. Sure. Tayo was in the cellar with me on Thursday night, and he was like,

1:00:30

I think I got invited to that thing that you're doing. I

1:00:32

was like, you should do it. He was like,

1:00:35

should I? And I was like, yeah. He's like,

1:00:37

I don't know. It sounds kind of it

1:00:39

it sounded like too many holes were there. Mhmm. You know when you

1:00:41

get an offer for something or somebody that you're like,

1:00:43

is this bullshit? Room. Is this gonna actually work out? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:45

What's the what's the thing that you guys have done that you were surprised that

1:00:47

you got to

1:00:48

do? Have you done corporates or no?

1:00:50

Sitting here with you, baby. You

1:00:53

guys done corporate gigs yet or no? No.

1:00:56

No. No. Not too crazy. I

1:00:57

mean, nothing crazy. We just like it's

1:01:00

just really just

1:01:02

like road shit than the festivals and stuff we've been doing the

1:01:03

thing. You're gonna start getting stuff like that.

1:01:04

No corporate's for sure. Some fucking trash company

1:01:06

from Philly is gonna want you guys. What's

1:01:08

what's the biggest company out of Philly?

1:01:12

Is there like a big Comcast? Comcast? Yeah. You're not doing

1:01:14

them. No chance. I'm not doing the

1:01:16

fuck out of here. Do

1:01:17

a benefit for for

1:01:19

a merrell merorial candidate in

1:01:22

in Jersey. Gotcha. A merorial

1:01:24

candidate. This wasn't

1:01:24

this wasn't off the AUIG success. He

1:01:27

had met somebody who we literally he gave us, like,

1:01:29

cash in a bag to perform in a

1:01:32

warehouse under

1:01:34

ninety five.

1:01:35

See,

1:01:35

this is what I'm talking about.

1:01:36

This is because we did it two years in

1:01:38

a row and died a miserable miserable.

1:01:40

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You will. You will.

1:01:43

Measurable that. I don't care who it is. But they

1:01:45

was unbelievable. That's what you told me. They had they had

1:01:47

they had the twin towers. Twin towers. You looked

1:01:49

out. They had a It's just three

1:01:51

years ago. Dude, oh, wait out of understand. What do

1:01:53

you mean? It was, like, it was

1:01:55

a Marvel showroom where you

1:01:57

would go, like, I

1:01:59

want granite counter Sure. So you'd go to this showroom, and they were

1:02:01

having a fundraiser for some political guy in

1:02:04

Newark or Jersey, I forget where it was. In

1:02:06

North Jersey, somewhere. Right. I you

1:02:08

know, I'm

1:02:08

not talking to That's all we're getting, but

1:02:10

Yeah. By the way, that's it. And

1:02:12

they had to

1:02:13

twin towers gig, by the way. I

1:02:16

don't know if you picked up on that. I didn't wanna harp on it, but you you growing

1:02:18

back baby. Right. Yeah. You think

1:02:19

the government is gonna wanna talk

1:02:22

about this.

1:02:24

But it was and it was one of those things where,

1:02:26

like, oh, we're gonna start the comedy show and

1:02:28

it was it was, like, people

1:02:30

had to turn and face the

1:02:33

stage that was you were next to

1:02:35

the receptionist, and the phone was going off

1:02:37

during my set. It was a bad bad

1:02:39

scene. I did one for Jim Beam.

1:02:41

Me, it was it was such a weird collection, but it was

1:02:44

I told the story before, but it was

1:02:46

me Joel McHale,

1:02:48

Elanzo Boat and Gary Veeder, who I love,

1:02:50

a little chunk of the beads. And I don't remember who else. Mhmm. But

1:02:53

it was Jim Beam. So me,

1:02:55

I'm like, Cakewalk. These are

1:02:57

guys from Kentucky. This

1:02:59

is fucking Midwest trash, easy

1:03:02

money baby. I get there.

1:03:04

Santori whiskey has bought

1:03:06

Jim Beam. Suntory is

1:03:08

a Japanese company. It is a thousand Japanese businessman.

1:03:10

In fucking suits,

1:03:13

eating steak, Do you think

1:03:16

they wanna see my

1:03:16

eating shit? You're

1:03:17

the last thing they wanna see.

1:03:19

Eating shit would be a compliment to what

1:03:21

I did. I mean, I was I was I

1:03:23

was like funneling diarrhea.

1:03:24

It was unbearable. So

1:03:26

bad. How long? Twelve minutes and

1:03:29

each minute each minute, I think my heart

1:03:31

was like, we should quit you

1:03:33

could quit. And anyone with my heart was like, you wanna stop? We

1:03:35

could just we could kill you right now on

1:03:37

stage. I had the worst time I've ever had. And

1:03:39

then afterwards, me and Veed's

1:03:41

I had to go up fill up on sauce. I had to

1:03:44

say goodbye. I had to check out for the night because my

1:03:46

brain, I was so depressed. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't believe

1:03:48

it was so

1:03:48

bad. I was in Vegas. We were gonna me and Visa

1:03:50

were like, Let's go have a great statement. Yeah. I just picture

1:03:52

you guys have suits all in Roland

1:03:54

Duddy. Yeah. Yeah. No.

1:03:55

It's a dream in a motel six. To me,

1:03:57

just shove it it back. The strip. Yeah.

1:03:59

Yeah. We're gonna have three grand by midnight. Let's go. It's like this night of

1:04:01

our lot. Talking about a girl named Destiny for

1:04:03

three hours.

1:04:04

Just crying. She's like, do you wanna have sex? I'm

1:04:07

like, no, bitch. Trying to make up

1:04:09

for what happened in

1:04:09

there. You gentlemen leave need to leave

1:04:10

now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I think you've had

1:04:13

your film. But the corporate cakes

1:04:14

are gonna you'll you'll get you'll

1:04:18

get you'll get more and then they're and they'll get they get

1:04:20

harder to do because you wanna keep your brand

1:04:22

in terms of The check would have to

1:04:24

obviously those pay really well.

1:04:26

The check be really good because it's just like, I don't wanna go I've done

1:04:28

things for the money, not even that much money. You know

1:04:30

what I mean? I'm like, I need this

1:04:32

thousand dollars. I'm gonna end it and you

1:04:34

go, I know I'm gonna and you just bomb and it

1:04:36

sucks and the right home sucks. Yeah. And the

1:04:38

hotel room sucks. Like, you're just, like, all of

1:04:40

this sucks. Oh, I'm trying

1:04:42

to I'm trying to be like, if I don't have to do

1:04:44

it, don't do it. Fuckin' suck my dick.

1:04:46

I'm not doing it. Yeah. I don't

1:04:48

wanna fly to Minneapolis to perform

1:04:49

for, you know, rushing

1:04:52

oligarchy.

1:04:52

I will. Right. You know shit I'm

1:04:54

in for

1:04:54

your man. So New comedy do you want?

1:04:56

Are you guys I mean, Tory,

1:04:59

give

1:04:59

me a call. I

1:05:01

Yeah. Have you guys seen the

1:05:02

Kobe state? Thought about thought about going

1:05:04

individual

1:05:04

or just always on tour together? Like

1:05:06

solo tours or no? No.

1:05:09

Not yet. Not yet. I mean, everybody was like, this is what's selling the

1:05:12

tickets. Sure. No.

1:05:12

And So that will be a thing. Right? Because

1:05:14

you guys are both independent. Yeah. We're yeah.

1:05:16

Well, our shows are we both co head and

1:05:19

then we just close out together. But so but

1:05:21

solo touring is not in the cards at all. Not at

1:05:23

the moment. I mean, why split the audience up to be

1:05:25

like, Yeah. I get it, you know. I get it. Like, your money

1:05:27

would go down all

1:05:29

around.

1:05:29

And we had no cachet before the

1:05:31

podcast. That's what

1:05:32

I mean though. Like, you and Bob and

1:05:34

Bobby were very well known when you you

1:05:36

know what I mean? Yeah. But still but still but I guess the reason I'm asking is to try

1:05:38

to pry a little bit about the when you guys

1:05:41

there will be a time when both of them

1:05:43

do wanna do individual stuff. So it

1:05:45

is interesting to to think you guys are

1:05:48

killing it together. You're both very talented on

1:05:50

your own right

1:05:50

solo. Thank you. Solo, buddy. That

1:05:53

is, you know, It's one of those things where

1:05:55

It's one of those I'm sorry to cut you off. Yeah. No. It's up. It

1:05:57

is

1:05:57

it is something that will, at some point, be a thing.

1:05:59

But Of course. I mean, I

1:06:01

was, you know, But at the same time, like, we have all like, a lot

1:06:03

of our friends go out by themselves and stuff like that. And

1:06:05

it's like they're like, yeah. I'm sitting in a

1:06:07

fucking I gotta do seven shows

1:06:10

at some fucking funny bone --

1:06:12

Yeah. -- for not that much money.

1:06:14

Yeah. And, you know, maybe I brought out a feature,

1:06:16

maybe I did it, and we have a fucking local

1:06:18

Bozzo host or whatever. And it's like, do we fucking we

1:06:20

fly out with, like, five of our homies, and you're

1:06:22

like, we were we're experiencing, like, the best

1:06:24

version. Got the air being a

1:06:25

little making scrappies

1:06:27

of edging more was making scampiness. He makes no wishes. I know

1:06:29

he is. Yeah. Yeah. You're sitting and waiting. You're doing

1:06:32

this. He's all good. He's fine. He knows how

1:06:34

to work.

1:06:37

He's flying me. He's like, hey, guys a piece of

1:06:39

toast, he's got his legs away. He's just so

1:06:41

good dog and leaves. It would

1:06:44

have to be it would have to really

1:06:46

make sense unless, like, you know, we end up, you know, almost killing each other and it breaks up

1:06:48

or whatever. Never didn't happen. Never didn't

1:06:49

happen. How the Beatles didn't last, dude? You know what

1:06:51

I mean? Some garbage podcast might not last. You

1:06:53

know why the

1:06:55

Beatles didn't last? Because they did everything in in a

1:06:57

course of three fucking years and they

1:06:59

were children. Yeah.

1:07:00

They both grown men. Yeah. No.

1:07:02

Yeah. Of course. The greatest thing about those kinds

1:07:05

of things is, like, if they still were

1:07:07

together later in life, they would be dog

1:07:09

shit. Like, wholeheartedly believe it. Their moment

1:07:12

in time was our moment in time just like

1:07:14

you guys, the cultivation of your careers to combine for this this

1:07:15

moment. I believe things are happening when they're supposed to

1:07:18

happen. Oh, yeah. It's kinda like when somebody's like,

1:07:20

you

1:07:21

know, when we were younger, it was like, oh, man, to get on to tonight show

1:07:24

or to get on Rogen or to get any of these

1:07:26

things that have -- Mhmm. -- they would set comics and people

1:07:28

would be like, why hasn't so and so asked me? And

1:07:30

by the it's it's everything

1:07:32

will kind of truly happen at least

1:07:34

in our business when it's pretty much supposed to

1:07:36

happen. I think you like it or not. It

1:07:38

sucks. Yeah. Dude, because I know, this

1:07:41

is our third podcast together. Right. And, like, Ari's,

1:07:43

like, only YouTube fucking idiots

1:07:45

would do a third

1:07:47

podcast after the first who failed. Like,

1:07:49

you wouldn't be like, how about we, you know, try it with someone else? And it's like, we've been

1:07:52

podcasting together for ten years at

1:07:54

this point. Just get like, our

1:07:56

rhythm is, you know, we know each other's rhythm. We know what

1:07:58

makes each other's laugh and everything. So it's

1:08:00

like, we did all that

1:08:02

in obscurity. And now that, like, we

1:08:04

we're gaining a platform. People like, these guys are

1:08:06

great. It's like, yeah. Well, we've been slugging it out

1:08:08

for a

1:08:08

decade, about a hundred people. The ten thousand hours nobody sees

1:08:10

behind the scenes. Of course. No one sees you shooting in

1:08:12

the gym. Yeah. Nobody sees that. No one sees any of the training. They see what you are now and

1:08:15

they judge you based on now whether it's good or

1:08:19

bad reception. That's part of it. You accept it when someone's like, oh, fuck it. This guy,

1:08:21

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're like, oh, really, you haven't

1:08:23

known the fucking decade I spent --

1:08:25

Yeah. -- grueling and the thing, which is fine. Sure. But that's, like, part

1:08:27

of criticism that you have to throw in the trash that you're like

1:08:29

fuck you, man. We've been at

1:08:30

it. You don't know shit. Of course. You

1:08:33

either be come with on the fun ride or go

1:08:35

fuck yourself.

1:08:35

Yeah. Just how I've always felt about how you

1:08:38

have to continue to feel your career because

1:08:40

it's never gonna stop. That those things are never

1:08:42

gonna stop

1:08:42

of, like, No. This guy's new. You're like, new to

1:08:44

you, dickhead. Yeah. New to you too. It's

1:08:46

seventy two

1:08:47

year success. Right. Yeah. That

1:08:49

will always continue. What? You guys you

1:08:51

know, look, we had that

1:08:52

up kinship too, like I said, because we

1:08:55

didn't have any cache before the

1:08:57

pod. Right. Took off. That's what we're known for

1:08:59

to argue garbage, which we fucking we love

1:09:01

it. It's it's our it's us our

1:09:04

identity stripped down to its purest form. You know

1:09:06

what I mean? I think that's why It it resonated with people.

1:09:08

But yeah, we were fucking grinding

1:09:10

it out together in the

1:09:11

trenches, in

1:09:14

New York. For fucking for years and years or

1:09:16

whatever. And beyond the Very, very

1:09:17

poor together. But, like, that's the thing to

1:09:19

it. Flipping on

1:09:20

park benches and fucking kitchen floors

1:09:22

and all that kind of stuff. It's

1:09:24

like, if I were to get a gig

1:09:26

now, if someone was like, hey, Kevin, we you know, here's five grand to come out to fucking

1:09:30

whatever to do whatever,

1:09:32

first call is hit me, like, yo, you wanna fucking open? Do you

1:09:34

know what I mean? Like and so it's like, we just we wanna be on the road together. Right.

1:09:36

You know what I mean? Like Who's

1:09:38

your first call? Sixty forty split. I

1:09:42

was just gonna say. He gets the phone call. He's like, no. No. I'll come alone. Yeah. I'll I'll post middle

1:09:47

end feature and somebody

1:09:50

bring me up on

1:09:51

the god

1:09:51

mine. You really sit

1:09:52

on a park bench outside? Yeah. I worked. So when we were

1:09:54

dead or no? No. Yeah. You did. Yes. When

1:09:58

we were And it wasn't this I mean,

1:10:00

you were also breaking up by There yeah.

1:10:02

It wasn't it wasn't because, like,

1:10:05

parkour, park bench. Park

1:10:06

bench. Like like an like an old school shit, not like a big beautiful bench, like a little shitty -- Yeah. Yeah. -- win. Yeah. Over in the West

1:10:08

Village. I was waiting

1:10:11

tables at a place that

1:10:14

I had to be to work at seven, seven

1:10:16

thirty in the morning to open up for breakfast. And, you know, when you're up

1:10:18

here the first couple of years, you gotta do your do your open

1:10:20

mics try

1:10:23

to get on some bar shows later on after this time. Then you gotta

1:10:25

hang out. Everybody would meet in the West Village,

1:10:27

and everybody would hang

1:10:29

out and try to be seen and get it, you know, and do all that fucking

1:10:32

bullshit. So we do that until two, three in the morning,

1:10:34

and then I have to be to work in the Westfield

1:10:38

at seven It's, like, going down to that the the west

1:10:40

four street station and waiting for the fucking It's

1:10:42

gonna take an hour at least to get home. Wait

1:10:44

for the f train by the time I get home,

1:10:46

I'll have to turn around and come back. So you

1:10:48

just fucking sleep on a bench. Yeah. Tuck your wallet in your butt

1:10:50

cheeks and stick your phone in your pants and get a couple hours to sleep. You couldn't

1:10:52

put it all in your butt cheeks.

1:10:54

Put a phone in there too.

1:10:58

That was, you

1:10:58

know, I don't know

1:10:59

if you guys occupied. The story

1:11:02

about about Axel

1:11:04

Rose, about that song, welcome to the

1:11:06

Jungle, came from him sleeping on a park bench. I think here -- Okay. -- he first got

1:11:09

to New York

1:11:12

-- Really? He

1:11:14

he didn't have anywhere to stay and he slept on a

1:11:16

park bench. And I guess a homeless guy or, you know, a fucking some guy roaming

1:11:18

around was trying to rob him while he would sleep and he will come up

1:11:22

and, you know, I was trying to fight him off and was, like, the fuck are you doing?

1:11:24

And the guy was, like, welcome to the jungle bitch. That's

1:11:26

where it came to. Damn. That's pretty

1:11:27

good. Yeah. And that's that's what I've heard

1:11:30

rumor of. That's where that

1:11:31

that's who that started. It was probably nineteen when

1:11:33

it happened. I was forty when I was in the rain. Yeah. So it's almost like, welcome

1:11:35

to the oh my

1:11:36

god. Don't take

1:11:38

my heart pills. Yeah. No.

1:11:41

But that's that that that is

1:11:43

the the sacrifice you made

1:11:46

you make, I

1:11:47

guess, is build who

1:11:50

you are, but you guys are never gonna let go of the garbage stuff. Don't let go

1:11:52

of the garbage stuff. Don't let go of it. That's what I was just saying, you know, like, we it's no. I

1:11:54

mean, also as people. Don't let go of your trash and yourself. Dude, it's in

1:11:58

our fucking DNA. It's like, like, if you go to

1:12:00

a fancy party, what do you what do you have in a drink

1:12:02

at a fancy party? If they're like campaign? I've had

1:12:04

no. I've had to learn, like, if we go to,

1:12:07

like, a nice restaurant -- Champagne. Copes gone. Yeah.

1:12:09

But yeah. It's not expensive. Yeah. Something we need to sleep.

1:12:11

It's happened to the nightquil. You have a drink to

1:12:13

rattle off where it looks

1:12:15

like, you know, You can't order, like,

1:12:17

a Jack and Coke or whatever. Yeah. You can't yeah. See, don't ever give that up. You can't just Yeah.

1:12:19

I call the Cooper Libre. Oh,

1:12:23

Cooper Libre, please.

1:12:25

So I'll do, like, I'm I'll do

1:12:27

a Manhattan. He does a martini. You're a teeny guy. I'm a dirty martini guy. I

1:12:30

don't know.

1:12:31

Or vodka? Vodka. Right. I'm not

1:12:33

crazy about the the glasses, but I like I prefer it in a rocks glass with no ice. I

1:12:35

just like

1:12:39

the saltiness of of juice. I

1:12:40

feel like you want it in a sippy cup so you

1:12:42

can move around a little bit, you know. A little sippy cup. Sippy cup. Two of those things. I'm talking about the

1:12:44

helmet. Yeah. That's the beer helmet. Plus

1:12:47

they I mean, it's

1:12:49

I know it's traditionally a fancy drink, but they fuck you

1:12:51

up, man. Martinez? Oh, yeah. It's a whole

1:12:53

thing. Yeah. The whole thing is you

1:12:56

just just say

1:12:58

just give me a cup of vodka. Yeah.

1:12:59

That's what it is.

1:13:00

Do get two or three of them before the appetizer's

1:13:02

hit. That's what my dad always says

1:13:05

that Martinez he likes Martinez. He drinks Hitler

1:13:07

Jim Martinez, though. He likes Jim. I do

1:13:08

both, but he does like Jim a lot. He loves

1:13:10

Jim's a lot. I can't fuck up.

1:13:11

But he but

1:13:13

he says it's the worst hangover. He

1:13:15

says it's just, like, it's, like, two two is perfect.

1:13:17

Three is two minutes. Oh, yeah. My apologies. The

1:13:19

same thing about Manhattan's. They call

1:13:21

it a wild male soup. It is a lot easier for

1:13:23

you really fucking find out what someone thinks about

1:13:25

here. Man Hans was what my grandparents used to

1:13:27

drink. I I never loved Man Hans

1:13:29

because I don't like vermouth that much. Yeah. I don't I don't like any of that

1:13:31

drive or sweet

1:13:32

vermouth. Gotcha. Not a fan. I don't like it. Yeah. I

1:13:34

don't I don't do I usually do the martinis.

1:13:37

Let's got olive juice in it, but the vermouth I can live without. You go

1:13:39

out to one life restaurant

1:13:40

and you sit down, what's your drink? I always have

1:13:42

whiskey. I've always been a whiskey gosh. Whole life.

1:13:44

On the rocks are great. One big stone

1:13:46

or sometimes I

1:13:47

like it before dinner.

1:13:48

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Wine a beer or something like

1:13:50

that with dinner? I don't drink beer anymore. III used to

1:13:52

drink whiskey

1:13:54

with your meal. Yeah. Damn.

1:13:56

Yeah. Of course. Like deadwood. It's hard core. Yeah. No.

1:13:59

No. No. No. You know, I it's just also because

1:14:01

I'm accustomed to it at this point in my life.

1:14:03

Like, beer all have, like, I'll

1:14:06

have a beer or two with a friend at a

1:14:08

thing, if that's the that's if that's the mod.

1:14:10

I really don't

1:14:10

love beer. Make me feel like shit, my

1:14:13

stomach hurts, and I get dead kids the next day.

1:14:15

Why? Wine and I will have when others are having wine. But I

1:14:17

will never order wine. Oh, yeah. On my

1:14:19

on my own accord. Even

1:14:21

at

1:14:21

dinner, you want Yeah. Somebody else gets a bottle of wine, I'll have

1:14:23

a glass as a politeness thing like that. Yeah. We're doing this. But I probably

1:14:26

won't finish

1:14:26

it. You know what I mean? Like, I'll have

1:14:27

a couple of sips

1:14:30

because it's a part of the culture, but No. I'd rather have a whiskey please. If you're having

1:14:32

a steak, you're at

1:14:33

a you're at a steak Okay. We just went

1:14:35

to Mastro's for a Buddy's birthday. Okay.

1:14:37

And, yes, I had

1:14:40

I wanted

1:14:41

a little bit of something something on the rocks.

1:14:43

So I had myself a nice fat glass on the rocks. And you're having that having that while you're eating

1:14:45

dinner, so

1:14:46

you're doing bite and sip with whiskey?

1:14:50

No, man. I'm not a savage. You eat your food and

1:14:52

then you drink your drink. Really? I don't eat

1:14:54

and sip. Yeah. You can't

1:14:55

eat. Another another trash thing. Yeah.

1:14:57

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's Yeah. No. You have you have to

1:14:59

you have to have something as you're having appetizers. Right?

1:15:01

Like, if I'm having the sis like a shrimp

1:15:04

cocktail, whatever, yes, have a couple of

1:15:06

sips. Once the steak comes, I'm focused on

1:15:08

steak. Then when that's over, I have

1:15:10

this for dessert. Because I don't really need dessert that much. Drinks are juts and water. Bottled water,

1:15:13

still Anna Sparkling. Give

1:15:15

me one of each. We

1:15:17

did the same thing. Yeah. You are one of

1:15:19

you, just still guy. You're a bubbles guy, I can tell. I love the bubbles.

1:15:21

It feels like it makes you happy. Yeah. No. I wish me around with

1:15:24

a soady. Whiskey

1:15:27

forever. I love Whiskey forever. IIII have tough time drinking other

1:15:29

stuff now. Tequila is the closest I can do -- Yeah.

1:15:31

-- to outside of

1:15:34

good tequila. Good tequila. Thanks

1:15:35

tequila y'all love beer. I, dude. Yeah. You shine a beer.

1:15:37

You shine a beer. Give me a fucking butt heavy -- Right.

1:15:39

-- and some fucking GMO or

1:15:41

even well which is whatever

1:15:44

it

1:15:44

is. Let's get a Your shirt just turns into a

1:15:46

wife, Peter, like, yeah. A lot of that happened. She was a I was a big margarita guy, but done the sugar

1:15:50

and all that stuff. Started doing tequila and sodas with with

1:15:52

a lot of lime. That stuff that Bert gets is

1:15:54

really good in the bottle. What does that mean?

1:15:57

Some kind of lime juice that

1:15:59

he gets. Like lime concentrate He's probably sponsored

1:16:01

by a lime company. Something. Yeah.

1:16:02

And that that in with a little club soda and some and some tequila. Alright.

1:16:04

By the way, I just had an image of

1:16:06

him with his shirt

1:16:07

off. They painted his It's

1:16:09

like

1:16:10

a lime -- Yes. -- fucking. Sell it. Sell it. Sell it. Sell it. Sell it. Sell it. Sell it. Tequila

1:16:12

for sure

1:16:13

has been my supplement for

1:16:15

whiskey because tequila does clean.

1:16:19

It's got a similar

1:16:20

the smoothest, the similar to bourbon to me. I

1:16:22

I mean, I like the way high end

1:16:24

tequila tastes. Mhmm. If

1:16:26

you get some good shit, good sipping.

1:16:28

Good sipping. But no more beer

1:16:29

for your boy. I'll have it once to agree about. Oconi is like sub he likes his soda

1:16:31

pops. He likes

1:16:34

beer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. Yeah. I can tell because he fluctuates like like a model overseas.

1:16:36

He'll get a really, really thin and in shape, and

1:16:38

then he'll get a fucking portland. And he's a

1:16:41

nice body,

1:16:41

though, man. He's a little stone. He's

1:16:44

a rocket.

1:16:45

House. Yeah. Yeah. But it's also because all that

1:16:47

stress and

1:16:47

pressure he

1:16:47

puts on himself. He's making He's he's he's just turning his fucking everything into thick

1:16:50

thick concrete, like your

1:16:52

family.

1:16:53

Boys, talk about where you're going on tour next. What's the deal? Where are you at? Yeah. Yeah. Talk to TELUS state so we can

1:16:55

plug this shit out of that Foley

1:16:57

vamp a

1:16:58

little bit. We're we're launching a tour

1:17:03

That's the first week of the tour. The

1:17:03

stay stay trashy tour starts in March.

1:17:06

We're gonna be down there in Maryland.

1:17:08

We're going to

1:17:11

Baltimore

1:17:12

March. We're gonna be in Baltimore, Virginia

1:17:14

Beach, Richmond, Oklahoma City, Dallas, San Antonio, Houston, April's

1:17:16

New Haven, Connecticut,

1:17:19

Berlin, Vermont, May is Tampa, Raleigh,

1:17:21

Columbus, and Cleveland. Gulf Coast, Texas. What does it state

1:17:23

trashy? Is that what you said? State trashy tour. We

1:17:25

do state trashy. Standup showing at the end me and

1:17:27

not me and Kippy play

1:17:30

garbage at the crowd. It's really fun. It's a good way to introduce

1:17:32

people to the show. So bring the whole squad out. Go

1:17:34

out and see

1:17:35

the kids. Hi. What's the website? It's

1:17:37

being built as we speak. Okay. That's how trash we

1:17:40

are. We've Yeah. Yeah. We've been a

1:17:42

Linktree operation for a minute. I I what

1:17:44

the

1:17:44

website should be up a week or 2RU garbage

1:17:46

dot com. Go

1:17:47

to RURU garbage dot com. Otherwise, go to their Instagrams and go check out the boys. We'll put it in the link below, you guys can and check out

1:17:49

I'm sure Say it was episode.

1:17:51

Yeah. Fuck me. It

1:17:54

wasn't very fun. We had a really good time.

1:17:55

We had a very good time. I get a lot of love

1:17:57

from that, oddly enough. From guys that were longtime fans of you

1:18:00

guys that were like,

1:18:02

never heard you, but you're alright. I'm like, I get a high praise from your fans. Yeah.

1:18:04

Very intimately. You're alright. I think for your

1:18:06

fans, that's, like, you're my favorite person

1:18:10

on Earth. We end the episode the same way with one word or one

1:18:12

phrase. Each of you has to look in your individual

1:18:14

cameras and say one word or one phrase

1:18:18

at your time. We used

1:18:20

to do with one word, but then people were like, oh,

1:18:22

I wanna say a thing. You could do that. It's

1:18:24

just gonna end the episode forever. Cemented in history

1:18:26

when it goes into the Smithsonian. So one word or

1:18:29

one phrase when you're ready and when you're ready, do

1:18:31

it into your into your individual cameras

1:18:33

there. Your camera is that one. And your camera is that

1:18:35

one. Yeah. Alright. So when you're ready,

1:18:38

go ahead. Boner. Diabetes.

1:18:43

On here. We pour

1:18:44

wisdom. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk.

1:18:46

Whisk. You're that creature

1:18:49

in the ginger

1:18:51

beer. Sturdy. It's Ginger. Like that.

1:18:54

The gingerbread is gorgeous. You want me five dollars for the whiskey,

1:18:56

seventy five dollars

1:18:59

for the whole dangerous out

1:19:02

here now. Let's switch gears. Tinker. I like Tinker.