0:00

Hey, hos, get ready because we are going

0:03

back on the road and back to school. That's

0:05

right, guys, we are coming to a city

0:07

near you. Horrible Decisions is going back

0:10

on the road and we are super excited to be

0:12

starting off in New York, motherfucking

0:14

city. So guys, grab your pens,

0:16

grab your papers. Here are the date We

0:19

are starting in New York Thursday, November

0:21

four, followed by d C Friday,

0:23

November nineteen, followed by l A Friday

0:26

December three, and wrapping up in Atlanta,

0:28

Georgia, Friday December

0:31

seven. Now, any of these cities aren't

0:33

the one that you live in, It's all good, bitch, because

0:35

all you gotta do is get flute out, get

0:37

waxed, and get vaxed to attend.

0:40

Speaking of getting vaxed, we

0:42

want to make sure you are nice and clean because

0:45

those front row seats are the ones we're gonna be

0:47

grabbing all right to pull you up on that stage.

0:49

So get your tickets at hore hive dot

0:52

com this Tuesday. Be there nine am

0:54

Eastern. That's right, y'all, that's hore hive

0:56

dot com. Now let's get on

0:58

with the show. Guess

1:02

what decision we're about to make a horrible

1:04

decision. What

1:08

it is says Welcome

1:10

to another episode of horrible decisions. But before

1:12

we start, we want to let you all know

1:14

that if you have not gotten tickets yet, make sure

1:16

you get tickets because we see and I are

1:19

opening up for the showday.

1:22

You guys, they're making us get along. We have to stay

1:24

in the same hotel, but not the

1:26

same room. I know us still, we

1:29

might have to ride the same elevator of my mom

1:31

is coming. Oh, that's night, my mom is

1:34

gonna be watching Nina. Um.

1:36

So she was like, you know, I'll come. I was like, girl, Nina

1:38

is fine, and everyone she was like, I'll bringer. I

1:41

was like, okay, look how we love going off

1:43

on a tangent. Yeah, we're gonna be hosting,

1:46

uh well, opening this Thursday. Uh

1:48

the Black Effect first year

1:50

Anniversary Live Show.

1:53

Super excited. If you haven't yet, make sure you go

1:55

and get your tickets at Black Effect dot

1:57

com backslash be Live.

2:00

Um. But yeah, we hear again, y'all. It is just us

2:02

in the motherfucker's studio. No guests

2:05

to that. We got a new little

2:07

look. This is studio bay. That's

2:10

Spanish for be is

2:13

it. Yeah, thank you, because

2:15

that's that I'm beating. They

2:18

just name all the letters like that.

2:21

Yeah, they

2:24

make it the same, I mean kind

2:26

of, but like to do the letters best

2:29

said that,

2:32

what's g h hey,

2:36

hell, oh

2:39

my god. So what we're doing today?

2:42

What we're talking about y'all? We usually did the outline,

2:44

so I'm just gonna sit here and go with the flow. We're gonna talk about

2:46

about nothing. I'm just kidding.

2:48

So, UM, I had

2:51

some would you rather for us? Because I was like,

2:53

maybe I haven't done that in a while. Mandy may not want

2:55

to do a catch up because you know, she'd be and her motherfucking

2:58

feel we're not gonna like.

3:03

But also, um, if you guys

3:05

are on the Patreon, UM, I do want

3:07

to say that I am working on

3:10

a sex club esque night, so y'all

3:12

get more details. But now what do I used to have that?

3:14

I told Mandy this was already

3:18

because you come up with an idea that I've already

3:21

having record where I said you shouldn't.

3:23

She was like, no, no, I've been you

3:25

know what, or me and Orlando were supposed to do

3:27

a sex night together like this has

3:29

been planning. But I'm planning to do one, but

3:31

if you want to go on our patreon, join us

3:34

on Patreon, patreon dot com. Back Slash four Decisions.

3:36

I do share about my experience

3:39

at the sex club. It

3:41

was Atlanta. There's a patreon from like three weeks ago and

3:43

Mandy went into vivid detail. Yeah, so y'all

3:45

go ahead and check it out. But yeah, I don't want to catch you all

3:47

up on nothing because I don't really know what's going

3:49

on in my life right now. I

3:53

hate that. No, I'm

3:55

not even trying funny. I hate that feeling like sometimes

3:57

there's moments where I want to talk about it, but

3:59

I'm like, don't even bring this nigga because I'm trying

4:01

to wait, because that's it. I'm just

4:03

trying to wait. Okay, So y'all will not be

4:05

hearing about my nigga this whole episode, date

4:08

him and Yo yo for a long time. You're

4:11

gonna get mad, like this is you are. You are

4:13

now in the phase with the rest of us who've been in love

4:15

with a nigga, like you went through Puppy and now

4:17

you're like, you're crazy. You're about to be saying nas

4:20

too with crazation. Just I just like love

4:22

him, but the death like and I still

4:24

don't think he's not ship. He just has

4:26

things from his past and other

4:29

people and family and religion and everything

4:31

that he has to figure out. He's older,

4:33

so I feel like I've also met him in like

4:36

a midlife crisis face where I

4:38

mean, everything that we've experienced together has been

4:40

completely different from our past partners. So

4:42

we're just really trying to get a sink.

4:44

But I love that nigga, but I don't know if we together.

4:47

But I think we together, but I don't know when's the last time

4:49

we talk to him? Yesterday, but

4:52

I mean, they don't mean nothing. I was just showing him. I was

4:55

like, because my my cat

4:57

has taken up so much real estate in my house.

4:59

I he thought he was my child, So I

5:01

bought him a whole tower and

5:04

he just took up. And that nigga stopped

5:06

going on his tower. I think his knees is starting

5:08

to get bad. The nigga don't climb the ship no

5:10

more. So I'm like, I could really remove

5:13

this and get a couch. I host a lot.

5:15

Y'all not be having orgies at my house. So I'm

5:17

like, he's been telling me I need more seat

5:19

in space because we'd be having to sit in the dining

5:21

room and the living room. So I got on the

5:23

carry just like casualness of like

5:25

I have to open a sex club because I have an orgy I

5:28

do. I cannot wait to pull up one night

5:30

randomly and be like him, I

5:34

the same way you banned at another club. You're gonna

5:36

be ba, You're

5:41

gonna talk about it.

5:43

It's so batrising,

5:46

isn't he. I

5:49

really don't know the story because he ain't called me himself,

5:51

but maybe she banned him from calling

5:53

me and telling me because nigga, that's what the

5:55

funk I expect. So have you spoken

5:57

to him at all? No, this is hearsay. However,

6:01

you should be guess

6:04

which one of her old niggas she's talking about, because girls

6:09

they don't even need to know, right

6:15

as someone getting the clip. Um.

6:18

But anyway, yeah, that's it. I'm gonna have

6:20

to be in l A for work, um, which

6:22

will be a thing because I need

6:24

to go on a date. And you know what, I need to go on a date

6:26

because I went on such a bad date the last time I was

6:28

in l A. And I didn't plan on telling anybody about this,

6:31

because I thought he's gonna see it. And

6:33

this is kind of sucked up because I even even

6:35

she said, we're not gonna do it catch up, but

6:37

let me catch you up on my whole life right now. You

6:41

literally said we wasn't going to do a catch up. And you

6:45

can tell my tea and many only doing

6:47

this, so she ain't I talking about her? She

6:49

said, you know what, I'm not gonna give you catch up. I'm

6:51

gonna give you muster mayonnaise. And

6:54

let me just tell you everything. Would you rather

6:56

than we were supposed to do? When you rather? Would

6:58

you rather me tell the worst date I've ever

7:00

been on? Or would you rather us

7:03

do the would you rather? No? You

7:05

know why I would date? Wait, you

7:07

know why I want to hear this too, because I'm

7:09

supposed to be dating right now and

7:12

I'm not because dating is the ghetto,

7:14

and I just want to, like mind you, me and

7:17

me and that person fell.

7:19

It was love at first sight. So now the only

7:21

way I want a new nigga is to

7:23

love him at first sight, which means as soon as we love each

7:25

other, we together. I don't have time to date

7:27

you and learn about your favorite color would you like to eat

7:29

with my girl? I would love

7:32

to hear how awful this date went. Well,

7:34

I don't want to date. He was really hot,

7:36

which is what made it really bad. So

7:38

I'm gonna pull up a picture of him just to show

7:40

you how cute and how sad this was. Honestly,

7:43

was it sad because he was cute? Or was it sad

7:46

because cute

7:48

and tall enough? We'd

7:51

be having such a different girl? Is

7:53

cute? Stop? He looked like Sammy

7:55

is en you? What's

7:58

it? What's the song that Sammy used to thing? He

8:00

was cute? I don't know.

8:02

I can't okay, no real

8:05

quick? Like

8:09

me, I like the time

8:11

we said babe, I just want to make

8:13

mention. It's not me going out the

8:15

outline anymore. This is Mandy

8:18

not having to do a job when she doesn't do the

8:20

outline, so she also enjoys it. She

8:22

can relax, girl, I gotta do

8:24

both outlines tomorrow. Okay,

8:28

So I'm not gonna get this bad date real quick. So

8:32

I met this dude online because I was bored,

8:34

and really, I wait,

8:36

online is Instagram? Or online is online

8:38

dating? I haven't met someone on Instagram

8:41

really online dating? Like like a riot

8:43

thing. Okay. So he was really

8:45

hot and he lives in online. I was like, I need something because

8:47

like I've been putting pressure on the l a nigga. I feel like,

8:49

you know, so let me just get a little let

8:53

okay. And also

8:56

I would rather go

8:58

on a dating site then like go

9:01

out and have to like meet people, because I just find it to

9:03

be easier because your girls depressed. So

9:05

meet this really hot guy. We're on the phone for

9:08

like three hours one night, talking back

9:10

and forth about all of us, all

9:12

of our stuff. Um.

9:14

One thing I started finding out to the conversation

9:17

is he was very religious. I

9:19

don't want to really give too much up because I don't

9:21

want people to know who I'm talking about. But well,

9:23

let me just say that how the date went. He picks me

9:25

up for um

9:28

a date. Nice car, m

9:31

okay, very nice. Um.

9:33

We go eat and the first thing he does,

9:36

my phone is on the table after I

9:38

scanned the menu, and he asked

9:41

me my password. And I didn't think that

9:43

was a big deal because he tried to open my phone.

9:45

He said, oh, can you open it? So I thought he was trying to get the menu.

9:48

He opens my phone. Wait, wait,

9:50

what in this Wait. Wait, wait, let me give you a context.

9:53

I'm gonna tell you what happened. Let me tell you.

9:55

I wish the motherfucker would you

9:58

know what happened? Be don't tell me going through

10:00

your photos and videos. Hold on, Mandy, I

10:02

want you to hold a moment.

10:06

I scanned the menu he grabbed.

10:08

After I look. I was like, oh, what are you gonna get? And he picked

10:10

up my phone. It was like, okn you open it. I thought

10:12

he was looking for the menu Mandy

10:15

on my mom's life. That

10:17

man pulled down the search

10:19

bar to type in the name of

10:22

the dating app we met on and told

10:24

me he wanted to see the other people I matched with. I

10:26

said, you out of your fucking mind.

10:29

I we didn't

10:31

even get water at the table yet. I grabbed

10:33

my phone back. I was so embarrassed, Okay,

10:36

like I wanted to embarrassed. No, no, no,

10:38

no, Like I wasn't embarrassed. Like

10:40

sitting at the table in front of this dude. People were

10:42

next to us, they can see what was going on. I was like, oh my god, I gotta

10:44

get out of here. Like so then the

10:46

waitress comes, like I can't even focus on eating

10:48

and He's like, are you serious? Like I was

10:51

like, I was just playing and I was like, no, you weren't playing

10:53

like that ship as weird as. He was like, I'll show you mine. I

10:55

was like I don't care a right, and

10:58

he was like, well, now I feel like you got something

11:00

to high. I just met him.

11:04

We I've been talking on the phone. What but he seems

11:06

like one of those guys that as soon

11:08

as he meets you, you better not even say

11:10

you've been having sex with someone else. Now

11:12

he thinks you're a whole and now he can't look at you as a girl. I

11:15

was so like, I was

11:17

so I was so frustrated. Okay, So

11:19

then we're sitting we're talking.

11:21

Okay, Cary, what else can I do? He

11:24

was hungry. I guess let's go, and he

11:26

was. Honestly, I knew

11:28

I would never see him again. After he did that, I

11:31

was like, let's just get this over me. He's

11:33

talking about something. Do you know he

11:35

asked for my password again? I

11:38

was so piste off. So then I swear to you, he

11:40

does it. I've never seen somebody do that, nigga. When

11:42

I tell you, I'm FBI asked, bitch, I'm

11:45

an FBI as bitch, and never have I done this. Give

11:47

your phone on you. I'm not going to

11:49

a phone show you what he did. He

11:52

went just like this, Mandy, holdo, okay,

11:56

let's see that's the four

11:59

no nine. It doesn't start with a four nine.

12:02

Wait hens in your

12:04

last word. He know, he didn't look at me type of my

12:06

password or for those listening, he took

12:08

put my phone on a tilt to see where

12:11

you were, Like the most prints were is it one of your

12:13

numbers of one or four? Mandy?

12:16

One? Is

12:20

that psycho? Because look, oh wait,

12:22

oh you could see damn my

12:25

my finger prints. I was, oh

12:28

my god, I wanted to leave so bad. I wanted a text. I

12:31

wanted to leave. So I'm just so that is psycho.

12:33

Ship Bro, I ain't never

12:35

even noticed a bitch had fingerprints on the screen, nigga.

12:38

I mean,

12:42

clearly they're there. But when I tell you guys

12:44

like this, I knew something

12:46

was wrong with him because when we were on the phone for three hours,

12:48

he made a joke about how women always

12:50

are like wondering why he's single. He was like, I want

12:52

to get married at all my own business. I've got bro

12:56

and he's fucking lit. You know what I'm

12:58

saying. It's all like on the

12:59

sum.

13:05

It was just really confusing because I

13:07

had no idea what then was going on. Um

13:10

anyway, fast forward whatever.

13:13

He dropped him off at home. I flicked

13:15

him off when I left the car, like I was not feeling

13:18

him. I go to

13:20

find his Instagram

13:22

because oh, he wanted to know mine. Uh,

13:27

And I saw that we had a mutual friend, a

13:30

girl I know. And I

13:32

won't say who she is or where she lives. What I will tell

13:34

y'all is I called her girl I'm cool with. I

13:37

said, bitch, tell me how you know this

13:39

nigga? She said, Oh my god, girl,

13:41

I've caught you right back. Bitch

13:44

calls me back, she

13:46

said, wheezy. I was going

13:48

high and heavy with him, like the end

13:50

of last year. I fell in love with a nigga For like

13:52

a week. I thought he was gonna be my husband. He

13:54

was amazing. And then one night

13:57

I was out with so and so, she references her gay

13:59

friend. She's that he was blowing her up,

14:01

said that he didn't like that he wasn't hitting

14:03

her back, and she said, the nigga is a fucking control

14:06

free, and I was

14:08

like, read me a text message

14:10

that he sent her talking about

14:12

how like it's kind of like it seems

14:14

like you're not feeling me right now. Blah blah blah

14:17

blah blah blah blah. But it is what it is.

14:20

My last text from him?

14:22

Are you really just telling oh to tea

14:25

huh? Be blessed

14:27

and be at peace? Oh? You

14:29

know what it sounds like, Kanye go

14:31

find God? When he fired a motherfucker

14:34

girl here on the first

14:36

date with someone that checks the fingerprints on your

14:38

phone. I wanted I think he's

14:40

a good person. I almost wanted to tell him why I

14:42

can't talk to him anymore. I'm considering

14:45

it and if I need to send him this YouTube link,

14:47

I'm sure somebody will show him. I'm

14:49

maybe I will, But I

14:52

am so confused. How a

14:54

dude that I was so interested in? Bro,

14:56

I couldn't wait to get to a way to meet him.

14:58

He was in another city. I was like, from

15:00

the come back. We talked every night FaceTime

15:02

and you didn't pick

15:04

up on any red flags? No? Really.

15:07

My mom was with me one night when I was FaceTime

15:10

and she thought he was so cute. I was

15:12

like, this Nigga's bit and

15:14

then he's checking for fingerprints. So Jesus

15:17

Christ, I mean, you

15:19

know it is what it is.

15:21

Well, y'all won't be hearing any of those from me because

15:24

I refused at this point. Literally, I just

15:26

don't do it. I told Bridget, I said, just so you know, I

15:28

need to come out with you everywhere because I have to meet

15:31

my man and it has to be loved it first sight. I'm not

15:33

going on dates. I don't want to really swipe.

15:35

I didn't want to do none of that. I don't want to go on

15:37

dates, like and like, we're so busy, we're

15:39

playing for a fucking tour now, and

15:42

I have all these other positive I'm so sick of

15:44

just even potting. I literally have potted every day

15:46

this week, and I'm just like a

15:48

date. Do you know

15:51

how much I enjoyed just netflixing drinking

15:53

beer on See, that's the that's a difficult

15:55

part, because you want to get on a date so you can get

15:57

to that phase. That is the best phase. You

16:00

go on a few dates. Once you fuck, then

16:02

you don't have to go on dates no more. You can go dinner sometimes,

16:04

but you can sit up and lay up. I can't lay up

16:06

when I first meet someone because I'm not there yet. We'll

16:08

see that's the problem with

16:11

this guy. The first date

16:13

was literally hiking, and then all we did was lay

16:15

up because the world was closed. So now that the

16:17

world is open, we also have to

16:19

have the vaccine

16:21

conversation up front, because if

16:23

you're not vaccinated, we can't even go on a day in New

16:25

York. And so like it's just

16:27

like too much pressure. Um, you list

16:30

it outside, but just about

16:32

to get calling it. Are you telling me that with your

16:34

man you can't go inside right

16:37

because he doesn't he's nothing, I

16:39

mean, no outside

16:42

dating any weak. But we

16:44

have a couple of places, like there's still some places

16:46

this super strict. But yeah,

16:50

I mean, but I didn't realize how

16:53

serious this ship was because mind you, I was

16:55

in l A when that started. I came back home, went

16:57

to the fucking club at two o'clock in the morning. Oh yeah,

16:59

yeah, she's going let me see vaccine card. I was like, oh, shoot,

17:01

okay, y'all owning I

17:04

was. I was impressed they're on it

17:06

in New York. I was like, at this point, we just might

17:08

need to the Soho house. There's a

17:10

man suited outside asking you

17:12

for vax cards, Like I know, I

17:14

went to the Verses and

17:17

there was a check in line checking vaccine

17:19

cards and then you went through security.

17:22

You weren't even able to go through security to

17:25

like scan your ticket without showing, which

17:27

is kind of stupid because at this point, I really think it

17:29

needs to be PCR test for large events.

17:31

I think, well it was that too. It was either that

17:34

or I think those are safer

17:36

than at this point the vaccination cards, because I

17:38

have too many friends have been getting sick and mind

17:41

you the vaccine, they're not getting as sick, but they're

17:43

still contracting and you know, passing back

17:45

and forth COVID. I think anything that's

17:47

a large event should be a negative

17:49

PCR test. I think no matter what vaccinated

17:51

or not, that's the only thing that will make sense.

17:53

A lot of people don't realize, even until I

17:55

had to get a test to go to the Bahamas and I

17:58

was like, have you been getting a lot of positive tests? And

18:00

the doctor was like, girl, people

18:02

come in to go to vacation or go to an event,

18:04

don't even realize they have COVID and

18:07

you know, just because they're back. But

18:09

if you're listening to these guys. A

18:11

lot of the venues that Wheezy

18:14

and I will be performing yet are going to require

18:16

your vaccination cards, so get

18:19

backs before and listen. If your if

18:21

your cousin's balls are Jesus

18:24

okay,

18:30

I won't, So let's

18:36

talk about something more fun. Would

18:38

you rather have uncontrollable

18:40

gas for an entire month or pee

18:43

yourself at work? Me

18:46

too, because I'm a

18:48

little I can't wait to text Mandy the

18:50

motherfucking build like you y'all pissy ask

18:53

Nick's gonna be trying to come record Mandy pet on

18:55

it, I mean, and I ain't

18:57

gonna hold you. I just see looking at me still

18:59

bring So anyways, I did see one of my own niggas.

19:01

Don't judge me, but he just sucked me so

19:04

good. Like I was like, I'm gonna fill

19:06

this. My stomach is gonna hurt for the next two days. And

19:08

I was trying. He was like almost sucking

19:10

a far out of me, and I was like, damn,

19:13

I really like he don't hear it, because

19:16

I was like, have you ever fucked?

19:18

And like tried to keep a farting at the same time. Only

19:21

when I'm talking from the back ship.

19:23

Well, he only up and I was

19:25

to the side like this, and he was

19:27

like, and I was like, fuck he will,

19:30

It'll blow at him if like in

19:32

this ain't. It's

19:34

so hard to keep the far in, bro. This

19:37

is the position that got

19:39

me ready to fart every time. I'm

19:41

gonna you, and especially because

19:43

my ass is small, so kind

19:46

still good wait

19:48

back. But also let me tell you the part that

19:50

really had me scared because we were to

19:52

the side like this, but he had my ass

19:55

sheet so my asshole

19:57

was spread wide open. That sto would have just went

20:00

Mike does

20:04

that? Okay,

20:06

this is the one that gets me. This is if

20:08

you're listening on audio. This is the not

20:11

your brains getting stuck in the bell girl. Alright,

20:17

if you're listening, if you do

20:20

a yoga position, I believe it is not

20:22

downward dog. It's the cat cow. This

20:25

one. Yeah, this ship right

20:27

here when your back is open

20:30

and niggas have to spread and lift my ass so

20:32

they think they're fucking a girl with the big ask. The

20:34

second my booty hole goes a

20:36

little bit, just like just

20:38

just protrudes. Okay, you'll be

20:40

protruding your bootle. I don't want to but

20:43

it happens, I'm like, oh my god, it's like when

20:45

you sit down on the tyle. You

20:54

know what, when that happens, you just gotta you

20:56

gotta, you just gotta moan loud, like you

20:59

cover it you die. You want to cover

21:02

the forest with the most nigga?

21:04

Wait, you got to or you gotta

21:06

Yo. That was damn. Do we crack the

21:08

bed? You gotta blame blame

21:11

the bed creaking. I don't say if the nigga

21:13

here, I'm gonna just be like, it's just air because

21:17

it will be at that point, right, because nothing is

21:19

worse than the stink mart because the stink part is really when

21:21

the air, because the air is passing the

21:23

ship out of your grass, And I'm not is that what it

21:25

is? Yeah? I think so? Is

21:27

that what it smell? That means you gotta ship if you you know

21:29

what, if you don't really have the ship, Like your

21:31

farts are just like you know, when your

21:34

stomach just hurt. It's like, day

21:37

serious, Why do my farts

21:40

stink? You'll diet when

21:44

you feed the bacteria in your gut. End

21:47

of product fermentation gas

21:49

and gas carbon sounds

21:51

like signs to me. Let's keep it going right,

21:54

And the next one, would you who's your

21:56

celebrity crush first of all? Second this Jake

21:58

some mo would you rap their makeout with

22:00

Jason Momoa or get paid five grand? First

22:03

off? Kiss that make out

22:06

make out? You what happens

22:08

after you say? If you don't give me that five grand,

22:11

I'm not fucking missing out on five brands.

22:13

I think Kofe is mine And the only reason I'll

22:16

do the make out is because I really think if I kiss him

22:18

well, I can get the dick kof Don't

22:21

ask me to say his last name, kof

22:31

copy Kofi my boom cere

22:34

bo. I

22:36

was wondering. I was like,

22:42

oh, yeah, no, I'm taking a brand. He's only

22:44

twenty seven. Always

22:47

said this reason, like damn, I want to

22:49

suck the skin off his dick. Um. Here

22:51

is one of my favorite vanilla

22:53

ships I've ever fucking read ever. Girlfriend

22:57

white woman draws up maybe it

22:59

is one from the umbarrasing bar draws

23:02

up a seventeen page contract

23:05

for tinder Flame after dating

23:07

for two weeks. Racial Green

23:10

is definitely a twenty

23:13

or no sorry, a modern day Rachel

23:15

Green any right one

23:17

years old, drafted a seventeen page relationship

23:20

contract only after dating her boyfriend

23:22

for two weeks. While it's no

23:24

eighteen page letter to Ross Geller, Okay,

23:26

we get it, like friends and white people stuff.

23:29

Sorry. The contract came with four

23:31

main objectives honesty, communication,

23:34

awareness of partners needs, and clarity

23:36

and alignment in their intentions. But all of that

23:39

literally off falls under the category

23:41

of communication. You know, communication,

23:43

maybe not um a lot of uh

23:47

alignment, like making sure that the same

23:49

things that you would you have to communicate

23:51

that. Yeah, yeah, I mean like I don't know if they're talking

23:53

about their goals for like a relationship, like

23:56

things like that. Now, Um, she says,

23:59

I'm made the idea as a joke, and

24:02

then he said, no, seriously, we can

24:04

do that and talk about it. Um.

24:06

So they met on Tinder while

24:08

she left a toxic relationship and she was determined

24:10

to make it work. Um with a law

24:12

student by the way,

24:15

And did she think that that was supposed to make

24:17

the relationship. Maybe

24:19

she was trying to be like, oh, here practice for school.

24:21

I don't know, but at the time I had braces in

24:23

college. I was very embarrassed. It

24:25

was also a pandemic time, and I got to the point where I

24:27

was like, screw it, I'm going on dates with guys and I don't care anymore.

24:29

I matched with almost anybody on Tinder, and I

24:31

would tell my matches, I'm gonna walk my

24:34

dog around two pm today? Are you free? Who I should

24:36

do that? It was a fluke to meet him.

24:39

I was going on three Tinder dates a week just to get out

24:41

and meet people. And finally, um

24:44

they met and he said I want us to be boyfriend girlfriend

24:46

and she said, in order to be ready that I'm laying

24:49

ground rules. And she made a seventeen

24:51

page document terms and conditions.

24:53

She went over to his place. They sat on either end

24:55

of the bed and read them out loud. I felt like the biggest

24:57

issue I had in my relationship was it was like

25:00

boundaries of mine was crossed that I never established

25:02

any one, Like

25:04

what type of nigga across the boundary? He didn't

25:06

meet you at the lunch table in high school? Like one's

25:09

cute. She asked

25:11

for a romantic gesture once every

25:13

two weeks and to work out at

25:15

least five times a week. We treat

25:19

our relationship almost like a business interaction.

25:21

We deal with conflict like partners in business. We sit

25:23

down and treat it more like partners in life. Maybe we should

25:25

have them come in and help us. Yeah, well

25:27

no, that's why, that's why we pay lawyers. That's

25:29

true. Now, she joked that her boyfriend

25:32

will want to add a clause or two on his own, like

25:34

taking off shoes in his apartment, which she forgets

25:36

to do and stuff as jokes. But

25:39

um, yeah, I one

25:41

pro of this. You gotta say a pro, nigga.

25:48

I know husbands that have won

25:50

against their vows and that's a business

25:52

contract as well that I don't think

25:54

they're very fair anyway

25:56

at all. I think that that's a good point. So basically

25:59

she made them very Yeah, that's a that's

26:01

a contract. That's exactly what marriages and

26:03

so to me, I feel like she

26:06

hasn't worked past whatever trauma

26:08

she has with how old niggas was pulling up in

26:11

the past to introduce this to a new partner.

26:13

This doesn't need a contract. You communicate what

26:15

you want and see if he can meet you or see

26:18

if he's capable of providing that to you, and if

26:20

he's not, bitch, take your eyes on another date.

26:22

This to me seems above and beyond for someone

26:25

that a you just met um

26:27

and be to me. It takes the excitement out

26:29

of really seeing how someone was. Yeah,

26:32

it's it's very controlling. Also, it's

26:34

PTSD from her other relationship, which isn't

26:36

fair to bring into the new one. But I mean he's a lawyer

26:39

and they worked for them. They thought it was cute. I think the

26:41

headline when I first read it, I was just

26:43

like, but also, girl,

26:47

girl, that's right, and if you're listening

26:49

and the nigga

26:51

you dating now is not the nigga

26:53

you're gonna keep dating. There

26:56

was this place I went to our Lady of

26:58

Rocco after party for

27:00

a fashion week. A guy came up to me, African

27:03

dude. He said, is the little sister is little

27:05

cousin listened to us. She's seventeen, and

27:07

he said that every time he sees me,

27:09

he doesn't want to bring it up, but he's seen

27:12

me before and he's like, she's like really a fan and

27:14

bitch, I just want you to know. Yes,

27:17

I called you a bit because you're grown enough to be listening.

27:19

Don't be taking our stories off. Grown enough to

27:21

be listening. She's grown enough on her mom.

27:24

She's grown enough to have an iPhone. That's it like

27:26

to be listening just as they grown

27:28

as show. So if you want to be grown up, talk

27:30

to you like you grown. I'm gonna tell you

27:33

right now, don't you have no scenarios

27:35

going on? And he is saying you

27:37

learned X y Z from horrible decisions. No, maybe

27:40

I was sucking dick in high school, but I'm not saying I

27:42

shouldn't, And I'm not saying you

27:45

should have what you should be learning from

27:47

us? Miss ma'am,

27:49

not miss ma'am is what not miss

27:51

ma'am, ma'am not miss ma'am is

27:53

the educate. Listen to the abortion episode. Let's

27:56

talk to the episode about trigger

27:58

warning skip thirty seconds. Anybody uh

28:00

domestic violence, about having conversations

28:03

like how to how to protect yourself against

28:06

STDs. Listen to the doctors we have on

28:08

Do not listen to Mandy and I

28:11

when we're talking about the nasty dirty

28:13

ship we why technically

28:16

she's sucking digging if she's having now,

28:19

the very least that I want her to do is

28:21

enjoy herself. Like That's the thing. When

28:24

we were young, I feel like we had a lot

28:26

of pointless sex. We had a lot

28:28

of meaningless sex. We had a lot

28:30

of sex with people despite

28:32

us even wanting to really take it there with them.

28:35

So if she does listen, what I do want

28:37

her to take from our sex stories is that

28:39

we're having sex with people that we actually like now

28:41

and we're having sex with people that

28:44

fulfill us. Okay, well, hopefully you started on episode

28:46

one thousand, because we're on one thousand and one. That's when

28:48

we started doing that. Are you gonna lie?

28:50

We did gotta start doing that in our thirties, so but

28:52

you got a whole decade of sex that you go and regrets

28:55

this have fun because the rest of it, you

28:58

know. So the hord Nerve comes

29:00

this week from Sofia Vergara.

29:03

Okay, who is

29:05

the modern families? How

29:07

most people know?

29:12

But I found some cool celebrity horde derves and

29:14

I thought her would be good. I mean, I didn't

29:16

google celebrity Horderve. I just google celebrity

29:18

sexis but Romantico

29:22

that's what she's saying. She's saying,

29:25

no one can be a sex king every

29:27

day, and I hate I

29:30

fucking hate your accent. I

29:32

fucking hate it. Okay, because I don't know

29:34

if that's what she said, she's sounding like that. Go

29:38

pull it up. Pull up her voice. While

29:40

I'm reading this, No one give me a sex kid in every

29:42

day, and anyone who tells you that is lying. But I do wear

29:44

negligees and Japanese silk robes. For

29:46

a long time, I lived alone with my son, and I only saw

29:48

my boyfriends in a hotel. So at home I

29:50

slept in old T shirts. And I realized when I moved

29:52

in with my ex fiance, I couldn't

29:54

do that. Now I only keep nice pajamas

29:57

around because whatever is there, I'm going to

29:59

wear. The actress also opened

30:01

up to Esquire magazine about bedroom etiquette.

30:03

I guess, at the end of the day, all women like to be appreciated

30:06

and treated with respecting kindness, and we all

30:08

want to have sex in a romantic way. The only

30:10

thing I wanted to bring up from this the

30:12

old T shirt thing. I thought that

30:14

was a great tip. I actually did this a

30:16

few weeks ago. I got rid of really shitty pajamas

30:19

and just bought nice ones. That way, it's

30:21

not like oh my laundry, or like I feel

30:23

good no matter what, Like it's appropriate

30:26

ship. I can answer uberrys at the door and

30:28

I'm still cute. Well, I used to actually say,

30:31

like even when when I was I

30:34

was maybe not as happy with

30:36

my size and my weight. I literally

30:38

was just like, even if I'm at the home at

30:40

the house alone, I want to feel good in what I'm

30:42

in. And so like

30:45

nice lingerie or Teddy's or

30:47

like you said, just new ship popping

30:49

tags all ship makes you just feel

30:52

good. I don't know why, because it's just like, oh, never

30:54

wore brand new, let me do this. So

30:56

even just having the things that are like cheap,

30:58

and I'll be honest with you, I love just something

31:00

that's cute and cheap. So like you can get your

31:02

laundry from you

31:05

can get she in rass Target, like

31:07

they have very affordable, good looking, nice

31:10

feeling things. Um, So I like

31:12

that. So our horrible

31:14

decision. This week, we've talked about a lot

31:16

of stuff like that goes on around the country, you know, like

31:18

I love doing those, but I found some new ones

31:20

that are funny as buck to

31:22

me. Um And if

31:24

if you're on Patreon, we do a lot of that, like historical

31:27

sex and ship like that. This is

31:29

a list of some practices

31:31

that are going on certain certain places in the world

31:35

number one, Brooklyn. I wanted

31:37

to start with where polyamory

31:40

is on the rise. Small polyamorous

31:43

communities are booming in Europe, um

31:46

North America, but specifically Brooklyn

31:48

has a full blown social scene for

31:51

polyamory. I'm bringing a couple on the

31:53

couple that's coming from UH and they're

31:55

into It's not even Polly, they have their

31:57

own name for it. So I can't wait to talk about it. But I

32:00

believe this. I believe in Brooklyn that felt

32:02

like that's where I'm finding all this, Like all the swingers

32:04

and the people they go to the sex clubs, they all listen like

32:07

a full web website that in New York ship.

32:09

I believe the practice takes its root from the sixties

32:11

counterculture crowd that rejected

32:13

mainstream values and politics and sex positive

32:16

communities where they share everything including

32:18

partners and basically the poly

32:20

crowd today has no issues with mainstream culture,

32:23

but um they are

32:26

generally when they're like,

32:28

no matter where you are in the country, coming for

32:30

events in Brooklyn, making their own

32:33

communities in Brooklyn, and I mean, hey,

32:35

you get a better deal out there in Bushwick. On

32:37

a department with size you can be in a

32:39

lot that treehouse I was in Bet You Lovers

32:42

Live there Now episode four? Check it out.

32:44

Um, I wanted to make mention of

32:46

something. I just don't go to that bar.

32:49

Um Jesus wait

32:51

wait wait, I'm talking sh I'm trying to think. What else gonna

32:53

say about Polyamory? Oh

32:56

yeah, the show on Showtime. There's a

32:58

patron of ours whose sister was on a show.

33:00

Anybody who watches the show Polyamory, if you

33:02

have any connection to someone on the show, please

33:04

have them come on, because that is the

33:07

catalyst I think to what let me know? I wanted to be

33:09

in a struble and I was only like, it's

33:13

weird too, Like I said, when when that couple

33:15

comes, they don't identify their

33:17

relationship as polly open or

33:20

thrubble ish. So it's just it's

33:22

really interesting how talking to so many

33:24

people, like like I said, I do couples night,

33:26

we do game nights, double days. I've been

33:28

doing everything probably for the last year, in

33:30

a couple of settings

33:33

well, and everyone's everyone's

33:35

relationship is literally tailored

33:37

so differently that I really just love

33:40

to hear the dynamics, which brings me back

33:42

to like, even if you're listening to the show.

33:44

There's literally not one successful way to

33:46

have a relationship even when you're monogamous.

33:48

I know people that are monogamous but tweak

33:51

monogamy even in a way that's very interesting.

33:54

So no, I agree that monogamous

33:56

Jan Savage, we need to work all

33:58

right outside of the us um.

34:01

In the Cook Islands, when

34:04

a boy in the Mangia tribe

34:06

turns thirteen, he's taken away from

34:08

the village by an older man for the next

34:10

two weeks where he will learn about all

34:13

things sex. But rather

34:15

than being shown how to put a condom on with a banana

34:17

or something, he will be taught about

34:20

all kinds of lady pleasing positions,

34:23

heavy focus on a partner's achieving

34:25

orgasm multiple times. Female

34:27

members of the tribe don't follow

34:29

a similar ritual, but they are encouraged

34:32

to fully explore their sexuality and have multiple

34:34

partners before marriage. So the Mangia

34:36

tribe and the Cook Islands leave with a

34:38

mentor to learn about sex fortunities. Atten,

34:42

I love this just not at thirteen, yeah,

34:45

thirteenas even if it had

34:47

to be like sixteen, like

34:50

just a little bit older. So

34:52

I mean, we we also have to acknowledge that in

34:54

different countries the legal age on saying

34:56

not even the legal age, but there's

35:00

responsibilities put on people younger,

35:03

Like sometimes in other countries,

35:05

you're taking care of a household, you're taking care of children,

35:07

maybe you're cooking, maybe you've already started

35:09

working to add to the household.

35:12

Like the life expectancy

35:14

and a lot of things in other countries are so different,

35:16

Like I would have to know what

35:18

that looks like in the cook Islands before like

35:21

really saying it's too young, but understand I think

35:23

too young because just like I

35:25

know you're going through puberty still at that age, right, I think

35:27

learning about sex and I had like, but I

35:29

think you should have learned more about your body than

35:32

pleasing at I mean, but

35:34

that's middle school. And girls were pregnant

35:36

at my middle school, and you're right, they might be hush

35:38

and with their teeth, so who knows. And now you literally

35:41

if they're if you're on Twitter, you're looking

35:43

at porn, Like I think the access and what people

35:46

are able even to view right now

35:48

is leaps and bounds even from

35:51

what we had access to growing

35:53

up. So I

35:56

don't know. Now you meet a try boy,

35:59

like, yeah, I used to live in the cook out, so you're not the A plus

36:01

that's what you're telling. I'm just saying a lot of niggas

36:03

we know was having sex with thirteen. Yeah,

36:07

like and we in America. So

36:11

okay, the

36:13

the chatti scar chat

36:15

scar India, that's not how

36:17

you say that. I am. Oh you want to see the word about nigga.

36:20

I bet you mark? What was

36:22

that? Mandy chat god? And

36:26

that could be wrong? But what did I just say? Kudarie

36:29

bit? I

36:32

want to spell the h H

36:34

A T T I S g

36:37

A r H niggas. You figure

36:39

it out as well now the

36:41

tribe. I just don't see the purpose as well for

36:43

double h maybe

36:45

because it's not English. Oh

36:49

I really, but like in India

36:52

they use double hes. Is

36:55

there if you said that ship like you got you speaking

36:58

speak Indian? I know Indian? P that's

37:00

my I'm five percent wedding.

37:02

What do they speak in India? Wait?

37:06

Heard that it was a slur. I hope it's

37:08

not script

37:11

as the uh Like

37:13

A tattoo artist told me that. When I got my

37:15

Buddha tattoo, I was like, oh, can I get like some sense?

37:17

Great? And he's like, oh, you can't say that's a very dated

37:19

term. I was like, you act like I said,

37:22

wait what but Buddha is I

37:24

mean, but that's when things the funk up enough. He put

37:26

a Buddha on me. Didn't tell me that, mom,

37:28

you added that. I told y'all when my motherfucking

37:30

lived in Asia, and y'all know I was rocking my little

37:32

Buddha tattoo. The first thing you see

37:35

when you go into temples is Buddha. Not

37:38

for tattoo, Buddha not for tattoo, Buddha

37:40

k not for furniture, Buddha k not for everything

37:43

that we use. Boutiful over here, pretty boutiful,

37:45

boutiful. But

37:48

yeah, damn okay, he

37:50

wouldn't they speak what oh Hindy,

37:53

that's right Indian

37:56

broad No, no,

37:58

no, I was talking about the Okay,

38:01

I'm sorry, sanscrit is

38:03

like the way that it looks,

38:06

not the language, but like the was airbic.

38:09

No, that's listen,

38:14

there's the brown girls. I listened to this

38:16

spot. Oh wait real

38:18

quick. Yes, by the way, shout out to

38:21

the beautiful, lovely lady that works at Lenox

38:24

Mall. I'm not gonna say which store, and she knows

38:26

she's uh. She had something around

38:28

her her head, so

38:30

I don't want to just say what she is. She's Muslim,

38:33

I know that, but that could come from any country. What

38:35

she's Muslim, That's all I know. And I needed

38:37

a mask because I was going to the

38:39

watch store and I asked for a mask

38:42

and there wasn't mask in the front of the first stepping

38:44

on her head. But she's Muslim.

38:46

I don't know what country was flagrant to. I'm

38:49

like, oh, what speaking of I

38:54

did? I'm thinking her head, don't

38:57

listen. First off, she was beautiful as

38:59

fun. She had this guchy about what these nights as people,

39:01

and she was like so she went to hand me a mask,

39:04

and she said, by the way, girl,

39:06

I know who you are. And yes, this Muslim

39:09

woman rocks and listens to the horrible decisions

39:12

and I just want to thank you. And she said,

39:14

yes, this Muslim girl. So she

39:17

black, No, she was Muslim, Mandy.

39:23

She wasn't like Harla Muslim. That's

39:25

where the black Muslims are. She wasn't

39:27

like Harla Muslim. She was like Muslim

39:30

from the country Slims there are, like

39:34

you're telling me when you go to the braider they don't be taking

39:36

time to pray. She just said Muslim and

39:38

she was your color bitch. Okay, that's

39:40

all I know. Well, that's all I know him.

39:44

Why are you asking? You know? Okay,

39:48

but that's not what she was. She

39:51

was wheezy coling baby

39:54

said, speaking up, and he

39:57

said worse

40:00

than it needs to be. Obviously here trying to shout out

40:02

a fan. And now you just sorry,

40:04

boo, that was wee They fall if you know,

40:12

so, go back to the ce double

40:14

h India something every

40:17

year the Mauria tribe in India celebrates

40:19

go to a festival where local teens

40:22

learn all about songs, dances, folklore and

40:24

sex. And as the nightfalls, the girls

40:26

drink a natural liquor which they believe to

40:28

help prevent pregnancy. Nika, let me get somebody,

40:31

and they head off

40:34

to use a condom. Well,

40:37

let's let's tribe anyway.

40:40

They head off to mixed gender dormitories. Well they

40:42

got a dorm. They might have condoms um where

40:44

they practice pre marital sex, sometimes with

40:46

a single partners, sometimes several and in go

40:49

to teens are paired off in monogamous

40:51

relationships. In others they're discouraged

40:53

from becoming emotionally attached to their partners.

40:55

Is this way? Is this only a teen thing? I'm

40:58

gonna go to India and try this is a new one and

41:00

the other one was the cook. And they

41:02

sleep together for more than three nights. If

41:04

they sleep together for more than three nights, they're punished.

41:07

The tribe is um the

41:10

collective. So if a girl accidentally

41:12

gets pregnant, her baby is adopted by

41:16

the whole village. Oh no, bro, yeah,

41:19

Bro, she's dying.

41:22

You got water into the couch. Oh,

41:26

it's probably what you're choking on, all that powder at the bottle.

41:33

Sorry, bro,

41:40

I'm just like, oh

41:43

my god. Shout out to the chick who fucking asked

41:45

for my address to send me boxes

41:47

of macha. She's living in Japan right now.

41:49

Black chick who listens to horrible decisions and she

41:52

watches on the YouTube. She said, we always got a

41:54

green drink? Is that much? I said, I'm sending

41:56

you some Japanese man girl, okay,

41:58

because I know that shipping fee is. I appreciate

42:00

you all. Now,

42:03

let's get back to these

42:05

weird ass country. Were already here, I

42:08

mean we were here. I was choking. Nigeria

42:12

Niger. Sorry, because I know it's not

42:15

it's Niger. Okay, it's

42:17

not what it's n I g R it's

42:20

Niger. I mean, it ain't a double G. Why would

42:22

we have a double G? Mandy, don't do that. Don't

42:24

do that. The double Ahe doesn't make sense.

42:26

There's a lot of things with double G. Wait, is

42:28

there is there anything? I'm

42:31

not Nigga? What

42:33

else? Got a double G? Words with double

42:36

G? Ar pegging? Bit?

42:38

Are you the right person up in here? How about

42:41

this aggression? Okay? Now

42:46

sorry, the wife's

42:48

stealing tribe at the end of every rainy

42:50

treason, the wood tribe and ancient

42:53

damn, that sounded real. Why

42:56

the guy? Okay,

42:59

okay, okay, shut up. Now

43:01

you listen to me. They got

43:03

it around in the festival. So

43:08

my god, you're

43:10

gonna get banned from everything he ever.

43:18

Okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm d do you

43:21

let me shut up like? They just sounds

43:23

real. It is real. Castle

43:29

right to go,

43:37

there's no tour sh

43:41

shut up, go

43:48

oh ship all

43:50

right, hey, people are working

43:52

out their desk. Keep your wife like, keep

43:54

that bad, okay, if

43:57

you have to explain it, it's pretty bad. She

43:59

cry, keep your compulsure people at work right

44:01

now, we're in their headphone. Sorry,

44:04

guys. Now, now I have a braider

44:06

that shout out the shape. But sometimes

44:09

I'll go to the braiding salon, right and I told

44:11

you about them. So every time I'm going there and they start

44:13

talking about me, because I'd be asking for like really

44:15

random ship, I'd be like, we can make sure they're not less? Can

44:17

you make sure they're flat? And they start talking about like, don't

44:21

do this, don't stop talking about

44:24

and now I don't know they'd be tired

44:26

of my ship. Okay, anyway,

44:29

what are we talking about? The trip? Okay, okay. The

44:33

men dress up in a strut in some kind

44:35

of beauty pageant, and the aim is to impress

44:37

or steal the wives of other men choose

44:40

their favorites to sleep with. White

44:42

teeth and a straight nose

44:45

are highly prized features, so the men

44:47

wear lipstick to make their teeth appear

44:49

bright, and they paint a white

44:51

stripe down the center of their nose to make it look sharper.

44:54

And women wait until their desired man passes

44:56

by, and then they tap him on the shoulder,

44:58

and at sunset, the couple disappears

45:01

into the underground where they spend the night

45:03

together. That sounds like sensation island. Here

45:06

we go and Alabama? Oh

45:08

here were there? Thank you? Not an Alabama hot

45:11

pocket? Right there is a cousin

45:13

fucker village. Oh my god, I'm just playing, but

45:17

it's close. There is a lesbian

45:20

Now. That's when you have two females,

45:23

two women participants. And I'm

45:25

not talking about the ship you guys do where

45:27

you turn into a woman or whatever. I'm

45:30

talking natural born. All

45:33

right, damn you soundly. You

45:37

sound like the white people that I saw it. Trap here

45:44

he can't hear me, Okay,

45:48

all right, I'm laughing to her. In

45:50

Alabama, a

45:52

female only commune took

45:55

its name from the lesbian communities

45:58

found throughout the seventies. Today,

46:00

the village is a home to a group of women

46:02

who farm the land, host poetry reading,

46:05

sing alongs, full moon circles at night, and

46:07

they're always looking for new members. So if you

46:09

like the sound of living in a community based around

46:11

female nurturing and support, get

46:13

in touch. The attendance is flexible

46:16

and exclusive. Women enjoy range of diets.

46:18

They live there full time, part time, seasonally, in short

46:20

term but it's a lesbian

46:23

village. Um, do you think that lookscept

46:25

me? Do you think looks at blacks? Now? Don't

46:30

I think? I think this is a very

46:33

they'll see your name be like Amanda. Alright, whoa,

46:36

whoa, that is a little too

46:38

colored. Now

46:41

I did not say here. I

46:43

was thinking they wasn't gonna except that chicken

46:46

doesn't mean you're allowed. Alright, that's

46:48

exactly what the funk happened. Now we will

46:51

share some more of those on

46:53

a Patreon episode. But anyway, god

46:55

damn it. All right, let's get to the homemail.

46:58

So, hi,

47:01

guys, I'm new to the poet. Really, you're just gonna

47:03

get right into it like that, Yeah,

47:06

just like that. What

47:08

do you want to do? By the way, by the way, you been

47:10

too horrible decisions at gmail dot com. Thank you. That's

47:12

exactly what I wanted you to say. You're

47:15

getting good at this. Five years later. Let's go new

47:18

to the podcast. And I've been binge. You

47:21

spelled that really bad, babic B

47:24

E n G E b

47:26

I n G and I don't know she was only

47:29

one letter off he's but

47:31

the E and I are next to each other, so you be

47:34

I'm sorry, I hate you. Maybe

47:37

she's French. I have been bene listening to

47:39

you guys about two and freaking

47:42

love you. I need help. You guys

47:44

might have answered a similar question already, um

47:46

we have, but whatever. I'm a single

47:48

mom of two and I want to do horrible things, but I don't know how to

47:50

pick up guys. Sad. I know, I'm a workaholic

47:53

in an introvert, and I hate dating apps because I always

47:55

end up with the cum chill at my house type of guys and

47:57

I'm not okay with that. I'm also not a casual

47:59

sex type of girl either. Why do you listen to the show? I

48:02

really want to bisexual

48:05

masculine males. Now, before

48:07

I finish this, can I just say I don't

48:09

want someone who's like come Chell, I don't want to be on

48:11

a dating app. I don't want this, but I want to bisexual

48:14

masculine males. Bitch

48:17

what anyway? I've

48:19

been craving this for years and I always thought it was crazy

48:22

for wanting this. I haven't had good dick in ten months.

48:24

Please help the future whore out what am I doing

48:26

wrong or need to do? At least you knew you were doing something

48:28

wrong. First of all, you

48:30

need to lower a lot of your

48:32

own personal where you're gonna find someone's standards,

48:35

because you're one of these people who like me. Sometimes

48:38

I'm like, I don't want to go online. I think I'm

48:40

gonna go to Lucien, which I go to every week, and just

48:42

magically, a big dick, big

48:45

ass, black ass, rich ass Niga is

48:47

going to sit next to me and say, wow, I want

48:49

to take care of you and your dog, and it doesn't happen.

48:52

So what you need to do is

48:54

pick some of those things off. You should

48:56

be joining a dating app to bisexual

48:59

males. I'm gonna be walking down the street telling you that.

49:01

So if you have a fantasy that you want to

49:03

play out, you should be trying to look for that and

49:05

be clear about it on an app. But you

49:07

can't expected to just knock

49:10

on your door, especially when you haven't had dick for ten months.

49:12

And trust me, I know what you're going through because I haven't been

49:14

fucking either, even though I have a partner. Just I'm

49:16

not into sex right now. So I

49:19

would suggest that you let a lot of that ship

49:21

go. Plus, you have two kids, you're too

49:23

busy to be like trying to go out every night to meet someone

49:26

and get on my felt life or a Field. I was

49:28

actually gonna say Field only

49:30

because it's the only dating app that I know that

49:33

has all of the fucking pan

49:36

sexual, bisexual, trisexual,

49:38

um by curious and there's a lot

49:40

of men on there with bi curious

49:43

and bisexual on their

49:45

their thing. But also it's one of the only

49:47

apps too that you can join with

49:50

your partner. So if you're looking for two bisexual

49:52

men that maybe open or Polly

49:54

or looking to bring a third in, that

49:57

app will have both of them, so you can see both

49:59

profiles at the same time. And I

50:01

think that's that's the way to go. Or I

50:03

mean if this was five, six, ten years ago, I would

50:06

say Craigslist. But what's crazy is you said

50:08

you're not into casual sex, but

50:10

then you brought a fantasy to

50:13

the mix. I don't know what she's talking about. She didn't,

50:16

but she also said she didn't. She didn't say she wanted

50:19

to date and be in a relationship

50:21

with two bisexual men. She just said she

50:23

really wants to bisexual mask man.

50:25

This is what happened me. He found that sounds

50:28

like a one time to say so much of a ranch. She didn't

50:30

even have periods in there. You didn't spell binge right, And I want

50:32

to give you the Benedicts the job a bitch.

50:35

As a mother, you should have known how to spell

50:37

that ship. So I'm gonna safely assume you got

50:40

lit and you were like, let me write these bitches. I will

50:42

also say that. I will also say

50:44

one of the things that I would suggest

50:47

to you as well is unfortunately,

50:49

you are going to have to get out of your your introverted

50:52

uh phase, because I do think that even

50:54

if you do find to mask bisexual

50:57

men, this is something to where you need to find

50:59

a way spend time with them and get comfortable.

51:02

And unfortunately, you were either gonna have

51:04

to get a room or be comfortable enough to do this at

51:06

their space, because I don't find it at

51:08

all safe to bring two men into a household

51:10

with children. I don't think she would do that. I mean,

51:12

you don't know she can't, but I don't

51:14

hurt her how people have been raised. Mama's out, you're doing

51:17

crack and ship? Who know? So you don't

51:19

want to bring two men in your house to fuck? You want

51:21

your kids? Okay? Okay, okay, I'm not I'm

51:23

not being shocked up saying,

51:26

bro, there'd be mama's out here that just be wanting to

51:28

get a nut and be bringing strangers in that out well,

51:30

So I'm saying if you want to mass

51:32

presenting bisexual men, not saying that they're

51:34

just gonna be killers, but out of safety,

51:37

I would say, hey, you want to get comfortable to deal with them

51:39

being ugly too. I'm just gonna say,

51:41

because like you want to bisexual

51:44

mask man that will want to funk with each other and you,

51:46

I ain't gonna a lot of your standards. The

51:49

bisexual men that I know is

51:51

fine as fun because men and women want Well,

51:53

Mandy, maybe she doesn't have a hundred

51:55

million followers on instagrams. I don't either,

51:58

and I'm not hundred

52:00

and nine thousand away from that bitch anyway.

52:03

As I offended you today, I am

52:06

I'm sorry, I'm us. You know what, let's go, we

52:08

are really sorry, and said the

52:10

woman with the thing. No no

52:13

one said for you to repeat it. We just

52:15

need to apologize we

52:17

offended you this episode because we should

52:20

talk about how many places we need to apologize

52:22

to. I need to say Betty, Betty,

52:25

she doesn't what happens. That doesn't help it. Friend,

52:28

sofia bad? Can you say it in English

52:30

with the English accent, with the American

52:32

accent? You knew I was gonna go, didn't

52:35

you? Okay,

52:38

Okay, okay, I'm very sorry for make

52:41

say your name I wheezy camera.

52:44

The camera also named Gila. I

52:47

am sorry if I said something offensive.

52:50

It's some sorry I do. Here we go, okay,

52:52

I Mandy as well here

52:54

on behalf of horrible decisions to apologize.

52:57

Uh do apologize sorry, Uh

53:00

for everyone who wear things, I'm sorry,

53:02

sound real guilty, but

53:06

I was still trying to have fun. That

53:08

was an apology, like we really get canceled

53:10

and kind of just say something what we've

53:13

been I was about to say, we've been canceled every

53:15

quarter for that. I was at the conversation

53:18

with someone I work with and he was like, bro, cancel.

53:21

Culture does not allow for

53:23

growth. And then I had a conversation with

53:25

Debbie Brown. Shout out to Debbie Brown. She's also a Black

53:28

Effect sister. She was saying, like people

53:31

don't get excited and like pipe their

53:33

growth up at all. She's like everybody

53:36

just like tries to tell you how they said sorry

53:38

so much that they don't tell you how they learned

53:40

now, while I learned nothing from the

53:42

things that I said today, because I know we sucked

53:44

up. All I'm saying is I'm just learning

53:47

that I just need to talk to about everybody

53:50

because I used to only doing this. Oh

53:52

no, no, no, no, no no no no no. You didn't

53:54

just do that, do you do? You

53:57

do everybody?

54:01

That's why I tell you I know everything.

54:05

So she can't be racist because she's against

54:07

everyone pretty much, is what you

54:09

just said, Mom? You know I

54:12

mean, yeah, me too. I'll be talking to my mama because

54:14

she white like girl, I don't even like

54:16

your kind, So you know, I'll

54:18

be talking about crackers all the time. Shout

54:20

out to all the nineteen crackers. They'll listen to this show,

54:24

sor I'm sure if you wouldn't

54:26

dropped all. Have you had white people come up to you in the street and

54:28

tell you they're number twenty seven? Um no,

54:31

they dm me. I don't really meet l A. It happens.

54:33

I don't go around white people

54:35

very often. They can't wait to tell me in l A

54:38

number seven they like, And I know exactly

54:40

the white people that like recognize me because there's

54:42

two looks. Either they really listen to Horrible and they look

54:44

look a little different, or they're really white and they know me from

54:46

Sophia. If you're if you're one of the twenty seven,

54:48

please come up to me. Although if you're around

54:51

me in any of the establishments that I frequent, you

54:53

may be the only one. Um, but feel free

54:55

to come up and say hi. Um. Also, guys,

54:57

again, if you forgot by beginning

55:00

of the episode. Again, we don't even know if it's sold out yet, but

55:02

make sure you go to block Effect dot com

55:05

backslash be Live cop your tickets

55:07

because this Thursday, that's right October

55:09

the seventh, we are opening up

55:11

for eighty five South at the first year Annual

55:14

Anniverse. That's a lot of words. Anniversary

55:17

Live show b be

55:19

like how she spelled binge. We're not

55:21

gonna do that. Um again, that's at

55:24

the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, Georgia.

55:26

Um. Is there anything else about that? Patreon

55:29

dot com backslash Horrible Decisions fair

55:31

more t Yeah

55:35

you know what I mean? Yes, and no, not really, but

55:37

also make sure you copy our merch

55:39

that's right, go to hor hive dot com and

55:42

get your horrible decisions merch now

55:44

baby, And as I stroke this banana, I

55:47

want to thank you guys for tuning in O Horrible

55:51

Decisions. But

55:59

hey guy, sorry that I am

56:01

late with this week's Patreon episode.

56:04

Our guests for this week, the

56:07

Bonus Bitch episode is a

56:09

bit so many of you guys do know. Um,

56:12

we have me Dina Monroe from the Cocktails

56:14

thirty time Girl.

56:17

Medina, what's your

56:19

favorite podcast Temptation?

56:21

I would ask, queen. The

56:24

only reason you are is because you added Temptation

56:26

Island after that because I am

56:28

the podcast queen. But uh

56:32

no, but I'm super excited. Again, Sorry that we're

56:34

late. Last week was Medina's

56:37

birthday, and as you guys know, I took

56:39

a mental break last

56:42

week and went to Mexico for a few days

56:44

with my friend, which, by the way, was

56:47

supposed to be a trip

56:49

that we both mourned our relationships.

56:52

I'm so sick of telling y'all I'm single when I'm

56:54

not, because you'll be lying. You were lying,

56:56

asked like the more I and I'm a

56:58

libra libras do be lying. Bro. We're not

57:01

gonna do that, bro, we're not gonna do that. Well,

57:03

I just want to say to Loom, is such a boogie

57:06

mental break trip? That is, You're so

57:08

lucky most of let's just have to walk to the bookstore

57:10

and meditate in the park and we're

57:12

like a mental break. But I'm

57:14

not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie to Loom.

57:16

And I've spoken on here about how I'm not

57:18

a fan because I'm not a fan of the Jungle. It's

57:21

crazy to me because I do feel

57:23

like I could have went to Vegas and had the same experience

57:26

because everything was very every

57:28

Vegas and Loom everything

57:31

was to get a mental break.

57:33

In Vegas, you walk in your hotel room, they're

57:35

selling you prostitutes you want. Well,

57:39

every fucking restaurant I went to in

57:42

Tollom was like go ga, We'd

57:45

yes, yeah, no bits

57:47

not with the fit and all a ship going around. Uh,

57:50

what's crazy, two guys? Is this week?

57:53

Uh? This week we're gonna talk about three

57:55

things. Actually, um, we

57:57

don't really have an outline, but I do want

58:00

outlined that y'all are getting some specialty

58:03

in this bonus episode. I

58:05

did have full permission from

58:08

Medina to speak on it. If I wanted to speak

58:10

on it, so she will be giving a

58:13

horrid derve, which of course is a sex tip,

58:15

and we're gonna talk in during

58:17

the Horrible Decision this week on outfits

58:21

that you can wear in the bedroom and

58:23

of course with your partner for Halloween. So

58:25

I'm super excited to get there. However,

58:29

are you already? I'm mad I got

58:31

her drum role or shas

58:34

club, but I kind of wanted

58:36

to share the story. So Medina came

58:38

to New York and not only did she experience

58:41

the sex club for the first time, she

58:43

joined in with me and my boyfriend. Um,

58:47

look, she really was trying to call him her boyfriend,

58:50

y'all. Anyways, I guess let's start off

58:52

with your experience at

58:54

the sex club. I think a lot of people are

58:57

nervous and not knowing what to expect.

58:59

And I took Chelsea and shot

59:02

a from Black Girl's texting podcast to

59:04

end a s W. I also took you to

59:06

end a SUPW. So could you kind of

59:08

like open up with kind of what your

59:11

experience was like there? So

59:13

I'm not gonna lie. First of all, am I blurry on your

59:15

end? Or is it just me? Uh? It might

59:18

be just you, but it'll show up better at

59:20

the end. It's ten a p so okay, cool

59:23

um okay, So a walkthrough

59:26

from beginning to end. So y'all

59:28

have to story time. Mandy

59:31

and Ice friendship happened in a very

59:33

odd way. So for

59:36

the longest time we were just talking on the phone,

59:38

we shared the story. And then for even a

59:40

longer time, I hadn't been to your place. You

59:43

I don't. Yeah, by the time I came to New York, you

59:45

had been to Atlanta, but I had never been to your space in your

59:47

space, and so I

59:50

y'all know, Mandy were free and I

59:52

don't put this on me, Medina,

59:55

Wait, don't start off this line with your

59:57

line brand. Maybe Oh

1:00:00

now, Libra's lie me being

1:00:02

the free spirited liber that

1:00:04

I am. I already know. I was like, you know, whatever

1:00:07

we do. I know how her and her boyfriend get down, but I did not

1:00:09

think that this was going to happen. I need you don't

1:00:11

know. This wasn't like a planned thing. And Mandy was like, when you

1:00:13

get down here, we're like we busting out booty holes,

1:00:15

and like, no, that was not we were

1:00:17

just like we're gonna hang out. I can't wait to meet your boyfriend

1:00:20

is gonna be great. So we get there. As

1:00:22

soon as I get to her place, we start drinking.

1:00:25

Yeah, Mandy is a great host.

1:00:27

We're having the time of our life. We go to some

1:00:30

bar or some Irish bar and we're having nasty

1:00:32

as pickleback shots were not to

1:00:35

hear and her fine acid

1:00:37

nig being like, let me say man, because

1:00:39

that's a man being like, well,

1:00:42

we should go to the sex club tonight. My heart is

1:00:44

racing. My heart is racing. It's

1:00:46

like it's beating out of my chest because I'm like, Okay, what are

1:00:48

we What are we going to the sex club?

1:00:50

And we're all gonna do things together? Are we going

1:00:52

to the sex club? And it's just gonna you know,

1:00:55

be I don't know. I have been to sex

1:00:57

clubs before, but I've never thank

1:01:00

you're listening to this week's episode, and don't

1:01:02

forget for Hive dot com. Go

1:01:04

get your tickets for November four in New York,

1:01:06

d C. November. That's

1:01:12

a Friday, then of course l a Friday

1:01:14

December three in Atlanta, Friday,

1:01:16

December seventh. We're looking

1:01:18

forward to see you guys and taking you back

1:01:21

to school. Baby, make sure again you get your

1:01:23

tickets at or hive dot by