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Welcome to Why I'm Voting, a production

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of I Heart Radio. Listen.

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You already know this, but it's an election year.

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You might already be tired of hearing about it.

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But here's the thing. Democracy

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doesn't work without you. I'm

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Holly Frying, and I'm sitting down with

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many of my fellow podcasters, from Will

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Ferrell to Stephanie Rule, as well as

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other luminaries, to find out about

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their relationships with the ballot box and

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ultimately just to find out why they

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vote. I hope you're

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exercising your right to vote, and if

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you're not, I hope that their stories inspire

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you. Today

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on Why I'm Voting, I am joined by the delightful

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Laurie Gottlieb. Her book Maybe You Should

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Talk to Someone is a New York Times bestseller.

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She also writes the Dear Therapist column

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for The Atlantic, and she is one of the hosts

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of the podcast Dear Therapists

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Plural LORI thank you so much

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for joining me today. Thank you so much for

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having me. So here's the big stumper that involves

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a little bit of mental time travel. Do

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you remember how and

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at what point in your life you learned about voting?

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Yes, I do. Actually, it was in fifth

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grade and we were studying

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American government and

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we learned about how the voting process worked,

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and I was really upset because I felt

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like, Wow, this is so cool and I have to

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wait so long before I can vote.

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I remember talking to my parents about that and being

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why why why are they telling us all this stuff

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and now we can't do it. So I

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always tried to influence my parents in

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terms of how they voted, so they can sort

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of vote by proxy for me. I love this story

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so much. You're like, I'm ready put

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me in um. Does that mean that

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you registered immediately when you were able

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to at a team? Oh? Absolutely yes.

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Do you have any memory so the first time you voted

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and what that felt like when you finally

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got to fulfill your fifth grade dreams. I

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remember it being very different from how I expect

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did. I was very excited to do it. There

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was a long line, which I was excited about

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because it meant that a lot of people were voting. I

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had no idea mechanically how

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to do it. You don't know what teaches

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you, and I was a nubi. It's sort of like

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I felt like they needed to have orientation, you

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know, for people who are first time voters. But

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what was great was there were a lot of volunteers there

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who were willing to help and show me how

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to do this new fangled system,

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and I was really excited. And they

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give you like a little sticker you know, when you leave,

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and I wore that all day. I love those stickers.

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I also, I'm glad that you mentioned the volunteers,

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because we haven't had a lot of shout outs for the people

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that volunteer to go man those polling

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stations all day on election

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day and just put in their time because they want to support

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the process they do. Yeah, shout

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out to everyone who volunteers. I always

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try to thank them on my way out, and sometimes they give me

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a look like I'm a crazy person. We get

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ears and eyes full constantly

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of information about the big elections.

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But I'm wondering, are you a

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big participant in your local elections and

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how do you research candidates for those because they're

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a little harder to find out their information they

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are, so usually I look

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online. We get mailed if you're

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registered to vote in your county

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and in your state, you get mailed

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packets on the various

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issues and the various candidates. Um,

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and I like to read those and sometimes

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they're complicated, you know, now that I'm

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a parent. Once my son became

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old enough, we started talking about them,

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and I think it's really fun to talk about them because he's

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really excited to vote to He's fourteen now,

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but since he was younger, right,

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you know, old enough to understand, Oh,

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here's one side of an issue. Here's another side

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of an issue, and let's talk about it because it's not always

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so clear cut. Yeah, it's interesting too, like ballot

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measures are not always worded in

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a way that makes sense to the layman there.

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Yes, you've really got to pick apart that language.

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Sometimes. Are you a mail in voter,

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an early voter, or a day of pre

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COVID? I was a

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a of but I am definitely

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going to be mailing in. I don't even know if the polls are

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going to be open here in California,

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so I'm I just got my my information

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in the mail. Actually, they were confirming that

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I live where I live, so that they can make sure that I

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am not skipped for these mail

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in paperwork that I'm going to have to mail in. Yeah,

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I feel like this year, and everybody's a mail in voter, or

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most people are. Anyway. You mentioned earlier

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that the first time you voted there was a line, and

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how you were really excited about it. I also

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really enjoy the line. But what is it about

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that the experience that makes it so

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special? I love the line, and

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it's the only line I should say that I love. I

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generally cannot stay on lunch. I will avoid

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them at all costs. So I know it sounds strange

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to say I love the line, But what I love about

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the line is I feel like we are all

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participating in this process,

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and no matter what your views are, no matter what you

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think, everybody's very friendly. Everybody's

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excited to be there. Everyone feels like

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I have a say in what

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happens. And I think some

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people feel removed for it. You know,

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who are not they're voting. Some people feel like, well,

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what is one vote matter? But it matters

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a lot. And when you get in that line, you see

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that it matters. You see that people are passionate about

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how they feel, how they think. Nobody's arguing

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in the line. You know, it's it's very,

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very friendly, but everybody feels

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engaged. Everybody feels like, no, it

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actually does matter, you know, And I think

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that that makes us really excited

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about the opportunity that we have that

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you know, there are lots of places where people don't have this kind

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of opportunity, and I think we take it for granted.

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And I think when you're in that line, you

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start to see, you know what what we see

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on television with a lot of you know, there's

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a lot of polarization, all of that.

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In the line, it's kind of like, no matter what

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you believe, that the fact that we're all participating

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in this process makes us feel really

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good about where We love that you get to see your whole

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community turn out, which is like that never happens

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at any other events. Do you have any

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election day rituals, whether that's

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watching TV, some article of

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clothing you wear for luck for your candidate,

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etcetera. What's her day play out?

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Like? I usually go first

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thing in the morning, and

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it's really fun. There's a lot of energy at that

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time. Um, but I have gone at the end of

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day the day too. If I couldn't make it at

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the end of the day, you know, it's it's totally

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different vibe. I don't really have a

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ritual I go. I just make sure that I find

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a time that I can go. Some

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people do have rituals, like you can see that,

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you know, they wear certain clothing or they

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really they really take it, you know, very

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seriously. In that way. My ritual is simply

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to vote. Here is the last question,

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and really the most important, which is that

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if you were to encounter a human in the wild

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who said that they were not using their

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right to vote, what is the one thing you

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would tell them to try to motivate them

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to make sure to get their voice

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heard. You know, I think about it sort of as

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the therapist that I am, which is that we all have

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agency in our own lives, and I think sometimes

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we forget that. And part

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of what happens is people feel like, well,

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what I do doesn't matter, and then they feel like they're

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not going to do something. And I see, on a very

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micro level in their own lives in a relationship,

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they'll say, well, it doesn't matter what I do because this other

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person does this anyway, And I say, no, Actually,

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how you respond to that matters a

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lot. And the same thing with voting. So

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you might not like what some candidate is

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doing what some person is doing. But how

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are you going to respond to that? Are you going to do nothing?

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Or you're going to make your voice heard? And

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I think that when people say I'm not going

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to pay attention to this because nothing

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I do changes anything, I think they're

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very blind to how much

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impact they actually have. Ah, I love

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it for the therapists perspective. I had not thought

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about that before. Marie. Thank you so

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much for sharing both your time

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and your passionate about voting with us.

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Oh my pleasure. Thank you so much for the conversation.

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Hey, are you not registered to vote yet

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but you think it's something you want to do? You

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may still have time. Voter registration

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deadlines vary by state, so to find

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out the scoop for where you are, check out

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a nonpartisan register raction voting

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site like head count dot org or

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fair vote dot org. Why

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I'm Voting is an I Heart Radio production.

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For more podcasts from I Heart Radio,

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visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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