0:01

Stay, stay horny

0:03

and horny everybody.

0:06

I'm so horny? I

0:09

mean, is that in a wor? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

0:11

I've never went I've

0:14

never been worn my life. One

0:17

time, I absolute really

0:19

really horny, never

0:22

really, So

0:25

it's twice twice. Oh

0:34

my god, we'll get to a very special

0:37

extra episode of William except

0:39

this Rose it is it is women

0:41

tell all week you guys, do you get

0:43

too in one week? My name is Arte Marine, coming

0:45

to you from a shed of an

0:48

Airbnb. That's pretty, isn't the cutest

0:50

interior of a shed somewhere in Atlanta

0:53

with me in high in the

0:55

Hollywood sky. Obviously we

0:57

have Tanna, obvious Hi.

1:00

Obviously we had Ace, your dog who was a hit

1:03

last a couple of days ago, but

1:06

he got kicked out. But we have two

1:09

gentlemen. It is a it is

1:12

raining man and uh the

1:14

first man that we're having on Tanna

1:17

and I have a real soft spot in our hearts for him.

1:19

This guy loves hot tubs and what can I say

1:21

about this man? Let me introduce you to him.

1:36

Kick your

1:38

name again? Wait

1:48

wait you got yeah, that's where you've got

1:50

a theme song? I love that I

1:52

couldn't hear it that well? Could people hear that?

1:54

Well? Well, we'll put it in the into

1:57

the actual track later. I had no idea.

2:00

You made a theme song from me. That was awesome. I

2:02

made a song I made you. Wait,

2:08

Anna will actually play it for you afterwards at

2:11

her like you put your earphones and you

2:13

can actually hear it properly through the audio.

2:15

I want to hear. Yeah, we made you a theme

2:17

song. That's so nice. Thank you? Does

2:21

Kevin have one? It sounded a little like

2:23

Kevin. When we did the theme

2:26

songs, we didn't know Kevin was coming on. But we

2:28

do have a new

2:30

guest. Ladies and gentlemen, We have a new

2:32

guest. Ladies

2:36

and gentleman, put your hands

2:38

together for a new guest.

2:45

Yes, that's

2:49

where you, guys. This is a new guest. It

2:51

is Kyle, Kyle Kevin. Are you guys

2:53

best friends? I want to put this on you. Yeah,

2:55

Kevin and Kevin's my best friend. I'm not

2:57

his, No, you are, thank

3:00

Kevin Kyle's

3:02

best friend. Kevin Bird said he's

3:04

a He's a hilarious actor. You've

3:06

seen him on Modern Family, You've seen him

3:08

on Amy Schumer. They became best

3:11

friend at the Groundlings when Kevin

3:13

fanboyd Kyle's Lab show,

3:15

which is about the saddest thing I've ever heard, totally

3:20

true, and I hadn't stopped since that's that's

3:22

nice. It's the only reason you talk to me. You were kind of distant.

3:25

Yeah, well, people find me aloof

3:27

and then yeah, how

3:30

far did you guys get at the Groundlings? Oh

3:33

well, Kevin got further than me. I got

3:35

kicked out after my first a

3:38

Sunday company session. They said,

3:40

no, no, thank you, I have half the talent

3:42

and I lasted twice as long. No,

3:45

it's true when

3:47

it's funny because every six months they vote, and

3:49

I knew Kevin was going to be continued. I

3:52

didn't know I was not, but I was in charge

3:54

of getting the cake to say farewell

3:56

to the people who were there for a year and a

3:58

half. Because after a year and a half, you get kicked

4:00

out or you become a groundling. Oh

4:02

what an honor to be a groundling.

4:05

Anyway, I'm not better. You got kicked out though after

4:07

a year, now six months or six

4:10

months. It was the first session

4:12

I got kicked out. I really didn't

4:14

like me, I

4:18

mean because you're so funny. Well, they

4:21

did not find me. They

4:24

found you really funny. The problem is you were so

4:26

busy do another ship, and you would

4:28

write like one thing a week. It was always like

4:30

the funniest thing that even presented. But

4:32

also the director didn't quite get you, like we

4:35

had a problem. He was too funny. The director.

4:37

Okay, wait a minute, So you were too busy?

4:40

Were you like like a jet ski career. What

4:42

was happening? My jet ski career was taking

4:44

off and I had stand

4:46

up. I was going, But I also I mean, look,

4:51

it wasn't their fault. I I we had a class

4:53

of twenty one people. The car

4:55

shows like two and a half hours long, and

4:57

I, uh, you know, I was fine, don't

5:00

I don't think I wasn't even I

5:02

wasn't like killing where I was like, this is ridiculous.

5:05

I could see how some of my sketches were weren't that

5:07

great. It's funny how like before

5:09

UCB came and before like when

5:11

Growlings was the only thing going, it's

5:14

it's like and I didn't go. I went to the Groundlings

5:16

after I had done like I was on that TV.

5:18

I went just because I felt like they had a good

5:20

writing program like I did. I didn't

5:23

start in l A. I did Chicago

5:25

and New York. And it's funny how angry how

5:27

many angry people from back in the

5:29

day, like just from getting cut

5:31

like people because it was really like, you

5:34

know, the sort of the only act in town

5:36

for a while, and then it was a street shot

5:39

to like like told us so

5:41

angry when they got caught. Yeah, because you're paying

5:43

money. It's like going on a date

5:46

and giving your date six and

5:48

they'll be like, no, thank you. All right now,

5:54

how long have you watched The Bachelor, Kevin? I

5:56

know you love Project Runway. I love Project

5:59

Runway, I love Top Chef, I love Survivor more

6:01

than anything, but I love cho

6:03

Yeah, I love it. I'm pretty recent.

6:06

I started with Caitlin season.

6:10

She was She was great. That was a great

6:12

season. That was when I started getting into it thanks

6:14

to Kyle Um In my mind, that was

6:16

the best season I ever see me too totally

6:19

because I actually felt like she was falling in love with

6:21

all those guys. She certainly

6:24

went to the fantasy suite. She's still married,

6:28

she broke, she's

6:33

dating. Remember Jason from Buffalo

6:35

that was with Becca who married the like

6:37

sum racist, she's

6:41

now dating him from a different season. What

6:44

are you overall? What have you thought of

6:46

this season with with Colton? I'm

6:49

a little spotty with this season. I've seen most

6:51

of it. Um, I am in love

6:54

with a couple of women, so it's really hard

6:56

for me. Who do you love? Um?

6:59

I predicted Assi Um

7:01

from the get go. Yes,

7:04

I she's beautiful. She's so beautiful,

7:06

and I could just tell and I

7:08

predicted. They kind of lead you to think it will be the allab

7:10

what's her name? Alabama?

7:11

Hannah? But

7:14

so I started lose confidence. But then it was like

7:16

no, and sure enough, sure enough,

7:18

he wanted he wanted Cassie. So,

7:20

um, who else are you in love with? Who

7:23

was the other one? There was another another

7:25

blonde. It's so annoying that I'm like, so

7:28

shallow, I'm like following why the suddenly

7:30

we all with being that's what all is? Yeah?

7:32

I saw on the Women Tell All she was in

7:35

the back row and she was yelling at um

7:38

the sensitive girl. I forget her name. Yeah,

7:40

I'll think of it. Yeah.

7:43

What did you think of the season overall? Kyle?

7:45

Well, I'll tell you this. I

7:48

like every season, hate the beginning

7:50

and I'm me too, and then

7:52

when it gets around here, I get really invested

7:55

in. It becomes the

7:57

major part of my life. I mean it's everything

8:00

go to bed, thing about I wake up. I

8:02

buy all their merch I get, I

8:05

put it on m I.

8:08

He's very interesting in

8:10

a way. I don't I don't think

8:12

he's gay either. He was too into that girl

8:15

is too real, but he definitely maybe

8:17

a micro penis or just

8:20

he probably got the attention from

8:22

women. And I don't know why

8:25

people well whatever, they

8:28

think my virginity is important, but

8:30

really it's all disgusting, right, I'm just

8:35

I'm disturbed by him. I there's

8:37

something about him that is too.

8:40

It's not fully authentic. It's

8:43

he see's the perfect thing. He's fitting. Um.

8:46

He seems like a nice guy, like doesn't

8:48

like he definitely feels like he's been coached with

8:50

Yeah, like I think whoever the coaches actually

8:52

has done a good job. He's very thin, totally,

8:56

there's a fundamentally like a nice person.

8:58

But I agree with you, there's something I

9:01

feel like there's some early damage or there's

9:03

I think so too. There's something there

9:05

there is there's also the effect of very

9:08

good looking people, men and women. They don't

9:10

get the pressure on them to really

9:14

develop a personality

9:16

so much. And then there's as

9:19

they start jumping over offenses and the

9:22

le become a diamond. You need pressure on that

9:24

lump of coal, you know, and they

9:27

know pressure. At the end of their life, they're just still

9:29

coal discussed. It's

9:31

so true. It's interesting. Well,

9:33

I'll tell you, Like, so, one of the people I'm working

9:35

with, who I absolutely adore is

9:38

like a very handsome, straight

9:41

white male who we all went and played

9:43

darks the other night and he kept he couldn't

9:45

not get a balls at and

9:48

I was like, wow, you've you've never been

9:50

picked last and like you and he's

9:52

so nice, but like, so then all

9:54

of us are anxious weirdos. And he was like, no,

9:57

I don't really have that. And I remember thinking, that's

10:00

just like a different experience, Like I

10:02

only I only know people that are

10:04

anxious weird too. Yeah,

10:07

I don't know people who always got the bulls

10:09

Like I can't even

10:11

imagine who I would be

10:13

without a little inner anxiety.

10:16

It's just like part of my wiring. I can't

10:18

imagine how you go through your day. I

10:20

can't imagine spending and it probably

10:23

would be healthy to spend time with someone

10:25

who doesn't have anxiety. But I can't imagine

10:27

no, no, no, no no, they could be bored. Well

10:31

that's that's like, can you they just they're just

10:33

like anxicity. What is

10:35

this? They can't even read the word because they're

10:37

like, what is that? You're like, it's just

10:39

feeling on the inside when you get nervous,

10:41

when you're like around other people and you don't know what to

10:43

say and you don't know how to react to them, and they like

10:46

when you get asked the prom six times.

10:50

So I'm like, it was so funny because like the rest

10:52

and this person is like like

10:55

a delight, like an absolute delight.

10:57

But it was so interesting when I also realized

10:59

who who I spend all my time with? I spend

11:02

like it's it's all people that are I

11:04

spend the time of the weirdos, you know, like I

11:08

don't know people that wake up. And I would imagine,

11:11

although I do think Colton is a little to

11:13

like there's something a little tortured more

11:15

than meets the eye, or he wouldn't

11:17

still be a virgin, he wouldn't be shaking what's

11:20

going Yeah,

11:22

let's let's go around theories why

11:24

Coulton is a virgin Arden. I

11:26

don't know. I don't know. I've

11:29

never seen a season where so many women left

11:32

like I feel like there's some heat missing

11:34

there exactly.

11:36

That's what Cassie when she left. I was

11:38

like, there's something he doesn't give him astry.

11:41

Maybe he's a sexual. He might be

11:43

gay. He might be, but he looks

11:45

very happy making out like he seems

11:47

he loves. He likes grabbing her her booty,

11:50

he loves her booty. And he

11:52

can't say the phrase I want to

11:54

be in love with Cassie rather than I'm all

11:56

in love with Cassie. He said, I want to

11:58

be in love with Cassie. So where do you think

12:00

the tears came from? Just because he

12:03

wanted it to work out? It wasn't like he was because

12:05

I felt like maybe he really did

12:08

like her a lot. I think I know he's

12:10

I don't think he's conscious of any of it. I think

12:13

he thinks that she's it. I think he thinks

12:15

this is this is it. I think he's never

12:18

had adversity in his life until then.

12:20

You know, maybe he got cut from one of the although

12:22

he does say, my biggest fear

12:25

is they won't love me back, like he got something.

12:27

He was also a heavy kick, but he

12:30

was a heavy That's

12:33

that's the rosebud of it all. There we go.

12:35

That might be it. He was a heavy kid. I think

12:37

through adolescents and when you see a photo

12:39

of him in that texedo, that

12:42

white texedo that Steve Harvey shot

12:44

and you could show that's

12:47

big, I think that, like,

12:49

he wasn't the guy. So so we

12:51

all have offered I was borrowed from stranger

12:54

things, like I know Kyle and his Jupiter

12:56

outfit, Like you know, I

12:59

have some of our early stuff that

13:01

the universe,

13:04

but you know, like a Jupiter. Sorry,

13:06

Kyle was your universe. He

13:10

made the universe. Um, here's my prediction,

13:12

and I said this in the last episode. My prediction is because

13:14

they're dragging out for four hours

13:16

next week, my prediction is that

13:19

he cuts Tassia and Hannah and

13:21

then we do the thing like they did last season where

13:23

they follow him on a plane and they fly

13:26

to Huntington Beach and he tries to

13:28

get her to say, oh,

13:32

that's a great what are

13:34

they going to do for four hours? I know,

13:36

Oh that's a good thing. Yes, I

13:38

think you might be right. He needs to go to

13:40

therapy. Follow him to therapy.

13:42

Man, he needs her third

13:45

it's as her third reality

13:48

show. This is your third reality show? Who's

13:51

Cassie?

13:54

Of them? Christian? A

13:57

Christian dating like once

14:02

and her sister. Her sister dates

14:05

like some Disney star.

14:07

They're all like ready for their Instagram clothes.

14:11

Let me say this though, she played it right, and this goes

14:13

for anybody listening was trying to get someone

14:15

in their life. You you, you gotta never

14:18

tell anyone you love them or even like them,

14:20

and always kind of a sense of like, I think I'm about

14:22

to leave. If you get married, you still should

14:25

keep that around the relationship. You're right. That

14:28

was the most riveting

14:30

twenty to forty minutes of TV I've

14:32

seen in quite That was so hard to watch. He was

14:34

shaking, was awful. Wait a minute, that that got faked.

14:36

Once he heard her say that, He's like, oh, maybe this will

14:38

work. Didn't you feel like he was over shaking at some point?

14:42

It did feel like it did

14:44

feel like it felt

14:47

like he was having a like more than

14:49

a panic attack, Like it felt like the adrenaline

14:51

overload, like he couldn't

14:53

stop that poor guy. Was that

14:56

real? Is that he became the

14:58

fact I've been rejected, believe it or not.

15:00

And I know it's like what Kyle, Yeah,

15:02

but I have been and it

15:04

goes it does I don't shake, yeah,

15:08

Mr Universe, but

15:10

the reaction is nowhere nearer shaking.

15:13

I've been almost exact. It

15:15

felt like a dog with the thunderstorm.

15:19

Yeah. Yeah, he needed a thunder

15:21

jacket or those things. Yeah he was, Yeah,

15:24

the ones I hold you tight so you feel comfortable,

15:28

just like any twenties six year old

15:31

former professional football player. Virgin

15:33

He was wearing his thunderjacket to try

15:35

to get it, to try to lose his Virginia. I. I I think

15:37

he has been rejected by every woman

15:39

he's tried to be with because there's

15:41

something I don't know, like there's

15:43

something uncool about him in a weird

15:46

way to be like when

15:48

he said, do you want to get matching pajamas for

15:50

the fantasy? Like there's something corny about

15:52

him where you're like, I mean, but like where you feel

15:54

like a woman like Cassie might want like a

15:56

cool guy. I don't know. She seems like she's

15:58

into bad, bad, little

16:01

bad boys.

16:01

Yeah, she's

16:04

funny, like she seems cool, Kevin.

16:06

Look, she's not like an improviser

16:08

guy, like a guy who improvised

16:10

teacher kind of guy. Yeah, she seems

16:13

really funny. She's hilarious. I would

16:16

cream, she's a regular Robin

16:18

Williams. You

16:21

guys don't understand her like I do.

16:25

We got to the women tell all and

16:28

uh, let's just okay. It

16:30

was to me, I

16:33

was not It was too many pageant

16:35

girls this season, Like I

16:38

don't know, I Lovelet's okay, Well this we'll

16:40

do the main one Courtney

16:42

and Demi. Courtney sucks,

16:47

Courtney stomping over with a pacifier.

16:50

Oh yeah, that was really

16:53

messed up. That

16:55

was mess I got and I got

16:57

a little I pee my pants a little there. That was aggressive

17:01

and I didn't like that and it made me, yeah,

17:04

empathize with what's her name, who's

17:06

crazy? But that's

17:08

so did the producers, however, do that?

17:11

I think someone gave her a pasifi and was like, shot

17:13

this in Demi's face and the I actually

17:15

made me feel like she shoved it so hard the first time.

17:17

It made me feel like poor Demi's like little lip

17:20

could have been split on her tooth, you know, like

17:23

it's aggressive, like having somebody jam something

17:26

into your face and it's such a classy

17:28

show. And to bring it down to that, thank you,

17:31

Yes, that's too

17:33

much. Yeah, and then

17:36

I mean okay, so then another fighting Nicole

17:38

and on Yeka, um,

17:41

just Nicole and the bullying, and then and

17:44

then on Yeka like aggressively

17:46

bullying, going when have I ever bullied?

17:51

But but then Nicole and

17:53

her like I always was team Nicole

17:55

on that because like on Yeko was so clearly

17:57

bullied, like and sucked. But

17:59

then when you see the edit of her crying,

18:01

it was like, you're a basket

18:04

case. A

18:07

basket case, I Nicole,

18:09

like I am drowning, I'm up

18:12

to here. It was like, what do you do? You're I

18:15

don't know, Nicole, And they all just seem

18:17

so annoying. I don't know, I

18:20

can't. Nicole also seemed like she

18:22

just was too sensitive, like she couldn't deal with the

18:24

women's criticism at all. Yeah,

18:26

you know what, At first, I was like totally

18:28

on her side, and then I was like, you're really

18:31

fucking annoying, Like you gotta you gotta,

18:33

you gotta get a slightly thicker skin here.

18:35

I mean, I

18:38

think I've said this before, but I really want them to do

18:41

a season where they just have a really ugly

18:43

bachelor because what's interesting

18:46

is they'll start off like but

18:48

eventually, because they're all packing this house

18:51

drinking and they're all after the same guy,

18:54

they'll no matter what this guy is like,

18:56

there there's gonna be a bunch of them to fall in

18:58

love with them. That will be interesting to get like Stockholm

19:00

syndrome, but

19:04

like his personality is good and like I had

19:06

a dream about him last night, you know it would start

19:08

to And

19:11

it's also like people women are competitive

19:14

exactly. Yeah, you

19:16

know they say that with women, and

19:18

this is for guys who maybe you want to do a dating

19:20

app. I don't know if there's any men watching

19:22

and listening to this show right now, but if there are,

19:25

literally not you want to this is they've

19:27

done studies on this. If we are science,

19:29

ardn't there's a science study if

19:32

you do. If you do a picture of

19:34

you, if you're a guy and then you have an

19:36

attractive one smiling at

19:38

you, other women will then find you more

19:41

attractive. It doesn't work with men, but it works with like

19:43

Adam Derwitz from the Counting Crows

19:45

in the nineties, yes, unprecedented

19:48

run once went on a rider,

19:51

so the whole like,

19:53

we all, we all went to karaoke last week here

19:55

in Atlanta, and it was like a lot of people

19:58

in the cast are like twenty two or

20:00

whatever, and there was a video from

20:02

County Crows or whatever, not County Crows. What's

20:04

his name? Mr Jones? That Okay, So

20:06

that was playing and I was like, see that

20:08

guy. That guy got every hot

20:11

lady peek at her

20:13

peak like in the nineties. And they

20:15

were like wait what they're like

20:18

like his jackets like slumping off official.

20:20

They're like, I don't understand. I'm like, I know, like

20:22

once he got tagged by Jennifer

20:24

Aniston and they were all like

20:27

yeah, like he got to do it with Jennifer Aniston.

20:29

It's Pete Davidson right now. I mean, the guy's

20:31

he's a decent guy. But if he's

20:33

dating Kate Beckinsale, now, if he just went up the Kate

20:36

Kate Beckinsale before he dated arn

20:39

was like hey, what's up, she'd be like okay, bye bye.

20:41

Yeah, it's true, it's true. It's

20:43

true. Once you've been picked, you're like yeah,

20:46

yeah, yeah, what hot

20:49

lady to get at it with you? All right, Well, let's

20:51

this could be actually a good app We could start where

20:53

we make it look like the guy

20:56

has dated someone very hot. Yes,

20:59

you could pay the model whatever amount of

21:01

money. And how

21:04

is your podcasting, Kyle? So

21:07

good? So good, so

21:09

good? It's going so well. No,

21:13

I haven't put out any episodes. Here's what the problem

21:15

is. Why. Yes,

21:18

you're you're great. You were great, but we

21:21

recorded like seven of them and it's just

21:23

not good enough.

21:25

You know that it needs some kind of hook or something.

21:28

Are you crazy? Are you trying

21:30

to? Are you overthinking? Yes he

21:32

is, Kevin says that, but I disagree.

21:34

I'm waiting for Kevin to come up with a good

21:36

idea that's going to make it. Then when we got that,

21:38

you would think there would be a better idea. I

21:41

think this was good. This had like it

21:43

showed a side of Kyle that was really good.

21:46

I think I had fun. Yeah

21:48

yeah, And there were other things about

21:50

where your skeptical side and

21:52

you know, you're I don't

21:55

know. I thought it was kind of that lawyer mind

21:57

of yours. It showed that side

21:59

off, and but I also

22:01

understand it It wasn't like I

22:03

felt pressure to, like,

22:06

I don't know, keep the balls in the air.

22:08

And I want, like, I mean, this show is a great

22:10

structure, and I want to find something like

22:13

like this where I don't

22:15

have to just sit there and try to keep thinking of

22:17

where we go with this? What are we doing next time I

22:19

hear a podcast about

22:22

the Bachelor, Oh forget

22:29

this my Bachelor podcast

22:31

be Way Comedy

22:34

dot com

22:37

on it so hard, I'm

22:44

word for word even

22:47

I think that's fucked up. Speaking

22:51

Bachelor, did you enjoy the montage

22:53

up top of all the best breakups

22:55

that they ever had? I mean, and

22:57

again, I didn't know a lot of these people because I started

22:59

with Caitlin season. But Jason and Molly

23:02

sobbing? Jason sobbing? Is that who

23:04

we eventually went back to? Is that being married?

23:06

I'm pretty sure that he went back to Molly, Yeah, because

23:08

he's with Molly. I always get shocked at how I completely

23:11

forget who the bachelors were, and that

23:13

guy looking at

23:15

Ashley I crying and breaking

23:17

down. All the people have attacks over

23:19

Christmas? Yeah, and

23:22

he was so right, like, I don't think you'd like my lifestyle

23:24

and she's like I would have loved to be alcoholic.

23:30

I love being two hours away from a movie theater.

23:35

And then we had like so many things

23:37

of Colton in the shower, going to the commercial

23:39

break, eating the Halo ice cream. I

23:42

mean, yeah,

23:45

think about it. They had to actually film him

23:47

in the shower multiple times. Yeah,

23:50

you know that that was I

23:53

think we'retuitous and not good for the kids. I'm

23:55

sorry. He's rubbing soap

23:58

all over himself. Very aware of it too,

24:00

He was very aware he was being filmed. It

24:03

was like a porno, but this one seemed like instead

24:05

of an outdoor shower, like they were in a shower

24:07

and it's like, okay,

24:10

that's interesting. It felt

24:12

like I felt like, again,

24:16

how many women left the entire season?

24:18

We have Cassie okay, wait,

24:20

Cassie Sydney, what's

24:22

her name? Who wasn't there? The Redhead, Elise

24:25

Alice, and Heather that never been

24:27

kissed. After she got kissed, she was like, all right, well't

24:30

that was bad? Um?

24:32

Somebody emailed us again that there could visit

24:34

she's a producer. Because she didn't say anything

24:37

until all where was Elise?

24:39

Alice was at a wedding? Apparently

24:42

she can't make it. Yeah right, Um,

24:45

Demi was saying how she's found it hot

24:47

because she likes to take control, that he was a virgin.

24:50

She likes to take control in the bedroom. Is

24:52

it weird that she was a little turned on? I

24:54

feel like Demi googled buzzwords for

24:56

the season and every so she's just like talks and

24:59

buzzwords like I was horny. That

25:01

was hot. Like you're like, I'm

25:04

horny. That's the grossest

25:06

word. I'm a horny

25:09

gross. I don't care who is saying I'm

25:12

so horny right now? Sorry,

25:14

dad, sorry

25:16

dad. Let me ask you guys this question because

25:20

I have a thought on this a

25:22

man being a virgin. Here's

25:25

I get a woman

25:27

sort of taking her virginia in a precious

25:29

way. If something was going into my

25:31

body, I'd have a lot of questions for the

25:34

person. But

25:36

as a man, you're you're

25:38

you're stabbing something. I mean, like, I

25:42

don't know, I was the big deal is thoughts?

25:47

What the big deal is about having said as a

25:49

guy, I don't think it's precious.

25:51

Your virgin is not precious as

25:53

a guy. But let's say you're a

25:55

chubby kid in high school right there, and

25:57

I can't get the girl you're you're and

26:00

so you say you you say

26:02

that the reason you're not having sex, you

26:04

may have it. It might be micro, it might be I

26:07

think micro is the best I

26:10

thought at this point, because but

26:12

you wouldn't go on the batchel or you're not morny.

26:16

I mean, I'm sorry. What if it's

26:18

the opposite, What if it's so big it hasn't

26:20

fit so he's like losing it. We

26:22

would have seen it huge

26:26

and he would have told everybody, I have that

26:28

sex. My dick is too bid is

26:33

I haven't had sex? If

26:37

I have this coke can circumference

26:40

cock, I'd be banging all the time. Anyway,

26:43

looking for a girl the giant vagina and Cassie

26:45

seems pretty great. I

26:51

hope Cassie does come back. She's going to be

26:52

they've

26:55

already reality. Steve leaked that it's gonna

26:57

be Hannah be No wait,

27:00

I knew it. I knew it. Sorry,

27:05

so, by the way, and somebody cameled in someone

27:08

and they were upset that we we spoiled

27:11

it, and we're sorry. We just got excited

27:14

because because quite honestly,

27:16

this last episode was so sad that

27:18

we needed something fun to talk about.

27:21

And here's my pitch for why she's going to

27:23

be a good bachelor, because

27:26

she wants to get married. She's

27:28

crazy, she's

27:31

shit crazy. She'll make for a season where

27:34

every dude has lost. I mean, let's see how many

27:36

dudes leave her season being like, I don't know

27:38

if I can date a crazy person. So I

27:40

think it's they shined

27:42

her up for that. They kind of put her through

27:45

like some kind of a train. Yeah, she's been

27:47

media trained. Can I say something very

27:49

superficial and awful I don't

27:51

even agree with when about to say,

27:54

but Hannah Bey has a really bad face

27:56

for aging. Let me tell you why. It's

27:58

gonna fall really

28:00

hard at about thirty

28:03

five. It's gonna there's too

28:05

much meat on that face. No,

28:09

I'm know I can't sign off on too much meat.

28:13

You know what I'm talking about, though, Right, we have that much

28:15

meat on your skull head, it

28:18

falls the grab he's gonna pull that

28:20

face down and she's gonna look really weird. And

28:22

then she's gonna get surgery at thirty six and

28:24

they're gonna make it looks great, and it's not gonna look

28:26

great. And then upper lips you gonna I'm

28:28

gonna puff uf this upper lip, and that's gonna get weird.

28:30

I would say, fast forward if I had a

28:32

time machine, That's what I would fast forward Ford

28:35

to see Hannaby's face and twice, Oh

28:37

my god. See, in my mind,

28:40

a little bit of meat on the face actually

28:43

is good for ages a little bit.

28:45

I agree, a little bit, because it keeps

28:48

you like a little bit younger looking.

28:50

She's got like nine hamburgers on her face, though.

28:55

But I'm so disappointed,

28:57

though, because I predicted she would be the one, and

29:01

I was right. Hating right, I hate being right.

29:03

I was hoping it'd be her because I know she's

29:05

nuts, and I think

29:07

she was the only one who was there not for Instagram

29:09

followers, actually for a husband. Everybody

29:12

else was just there for their Instagram didn't

29:14

You were the one that said Klin slid into Dean's

29:17

d ms. Apparently I

29:19

saw online Kaylin allegedly

29:22

slid into Dean's d ms like before

29:25

the season, like from

29:27

Rachel's season. Yeah, okay,

29:30

let's talk about that, how Katie. So they

29:32

were like, okay, Katie, you were leaving, you were seeing some

29:34

people aren't ready for this? Who were you talking about and

29:36

she was like, I love Katie and she was like,

29:39

I was talking about Cassie and Kaylin and this

29:41

is what happened. And like I felt like Calin

29:43

was auditioning hard to be the bachelorette

29:46

at the women tell all crying and like

29:48

I'm still not over it and like I'll

29:50

never find love. And but

29:52

I felt like all the ladies there didn't

29:55

like her. Calin loved Kaylyn,

29:57

loved Calton. I wrong. She

30:00

cried real hard. Yeah, but I think

30:03

crocodile tears. Yeah, I don't

30:05

know. I think she's a good manipulative actress.

30:07

I'm actually on Hannah b side. After the

30:09

beat. I don't know. Calin seems

30:12

weird and I don't believe that whole Oh my god, my

30:14

best friend, will I hope you become the bachelor in

30:16

case he picks me so you can find

30:18

love. It's like, wow, you guys,

30:21

I don't buy that. I don't buy that. You just one

30:23

of you just wanted to be the bachelorette. And then

30:25

you can be like, well, if you're a bachelor, then you can come on the season and

30:27

give me advice, and then maybe you can come on one of

30:29

the dates and we can hang out, and then you'll get more

30:31

Instagram followers, and I'll get more Instagram

30:33

followers, and our spawn con life will run

30:35

away together and we'll advertise bathing

30:37

suits in the Malti guys,

30:40

sponsor, does

30:44

Hannah g look like a doll

30:46

from a horror movie? Soon Else says

30:48

she looks like a ferbie. Yeah,

30:51

she's really cute. Her

30:53

eyes are huge. Pretty,

30:57

yeah, super pretty. But she also looks

31:00

five years old. Did

31:02

you see her mom? Her mom, her

31:04

mom. Yeah, that's the best part. Don't

31:07

forget that her mom did donuts on

31:09

the lawn of the dad when they got divorced.

31:12

She took her car. You don't remember that. I

31:14

did not know that. Wow, we drove.

31:16

She did donuts on that man who

31:19

who was encouraging his young rapper daughter.

31:21

She did donuts on his lawn. Yeah,

31:25

who's that girl, Alex? She

31:28

got cut pretty early, and yes she did. Kind of love

31:30

doesn't manage features a little.

31:33

I would like the bachelorette to be here's

31:35

what you know. The guy would be four ten and

31:38

whatever, but everone would fall up and the

31:40

girl, the bachelorette should be

31:42

a gorgeous, legitimate

31:45

moron i Q of under seventy

31:48

and just watched these guys justify

31:51

their love. They

31:55

would have no problem with that. I WO think would be more threatening

31:57

to have an actual certified genius,

31:59

like like a MENSA candidate. That'd be

32:01

interesting too. Yeah, but someone who thinks that

32:03

earth is flat would be like, well

32:06

they had that. The guy Lincoln

32:09

on Oh Yes, the

32:11

next Becca season, he was like

32:13

there was a scene where he's arguing that guy

32:16

and then they were like yeah what Yeah,

32:18

but like the Bachelorette, like, oh the

32:20

Bachelor, it's like a like a flat earther.

32:23

But guys wouldn't care just

32:25

watching them not and then she says kind of racist

32:27

stuff there's watching and be like, oh yeah, no, Hitler kind

32:31

that would be That'd be a good show. You're absolutely

32:34

right. If she was hot enough, they would agree. They would

32:36

agree with everything anything. They

32:38

should have a plant. They've been all real one

32:40

thing to have a plant. They're just gonna make

32:43

the show entertaining. Yeah,

32:45

here's my impression of Nicole. She called

32:48

me the cycle to my face. I

32:50

mean, they're all fully right now, you know,

32:52

have you been to chicoll You a cycle to

32:55

your face? Thank you? But

32:58

that was actually smart good. But

33:01

did they say that she she told

33:04

she said that one of the girls wasn't pretty enough for

33:06

a rose from Yes, yes, yes,

33:09

I mean it made me actually feel

33:11

like it was true,

33:15

Like why would somebody make that up about

33:17

her? She is

33:19

psych What do you think of Tassia? Would

33:21

you like Tasha? I liked

33:24

Tassia until I heard that she had a boyfriend,

33:26

until the day before she Come

33:28

on, Tasha, I

33:30

believe on the street. I believe. I

33:33

do too. I believe, I believe and I believe everything

33:35

everything. I believe everything everything. I believe everything.

33:37

I believe everything. I believe everything. I believe everything.

33:39

I would probably date. Nicole

33:42

is the type of girl that I would have dated

33:44

in my thirties and just regretting

33:47

every day. Not

33:49

anymore, not anymore. Who would you date

33:51

now now? Tanna?

33:57

Aren't you hear that? Yeah? Just

33:59

called me eighty years old?

34:03

You didn't hear that? I No, I did not hear

34:05

that. You know how much I'm being paid to be here, Hannah?

34:09

Yeah, Well, this will

34:11

be my last episode and I'll be starting my

34:13

own bachelor podcast. Go to Kyle

34:16

don Comedy dot com for our

34:18

freak podcast. Even the second episodes. The bonus

34:20

episodes are free. Everyone listening,

34:23

all right, this

34:26

is now. I

34:28

would date. I would probably date. I mean, they're

34:30

all too young for me now, but but Cassie,

34:32

I like that. She wouldn't like me much and

34:34

that's hot. I

34:38

would probably put that Hannah gee and like a doll

34:40

outfit and put her on my mantle. Did

34:46

you guys have fun on my birthday party? Yeah?

34:50

Really definitely. I enjoyed

34:52

dancing with you. I

34:55

have moved ideal moves. I did something

34:57

that's like funny embarrassing, but like you

35:00

know, Stevie Nelson was there, your friend? Yeah,

35:03

yeah, yeah, I don't really know where that will. But we

35:05

were talking and then when she left, I thought

35:07

it'd be funny to text her I miss

35:09

you, because it was like one minute. But

35:11

she didn't get the text for hours later.

35:14

And then I didn't explain that joke,

35:17

like I just said, oh, this was a joke earlier.

35:19

So anyway, we haven't spoken. How

35:22

do you know that she didn't get it for hours?

35:24

How do you know? Oh you know what, I

35:26

don't know. Maybe maybe well she was

35:28

going to the party or something. Oh

35:30

my god, I miss you. That's amazing.

35:33

That so a, that's so good. That's

35:35

really good. It's really good in my mind. She's

35:37

so pretty and if she was the Bachelorrett

35:41

Bunker, yes, Stevie, Yeah,

35:43

okay. So we're with Courtney and Demi

35:45

now and they bring up the phrase cancer

35:48

of the house and then she and

35:50

then Demi goes, well, she was probably more like

35:52

the bed bugs. You forget that they were there,

35:54

and then you just something starts itching the ship

35:56

out of you. That's pretty good. That

35:59

is good. I think

36:01

Courtney wants to be on Bachelor in Paradise,

36:03

but I don't think we should give it to her. She's too thirsty.

36:06

I agree with you, and I don't want to watch Demmi just fight.

36:08

Yeah, like we I actually like when she's

36:10

sweet and and when watching

36:13

that video of her feel saying, I just feel like

36:15

I'm not good enough. No one's ever loved

36:17

me. I felt,

36:20

you know which time about her mom in federal prison,

36:22

and she didn't tell the girls because she thought it was shameful

36:25

and embarrassed and she has dark family secrets

36:27

and that she hasn't seen her mom yet. But then she's

36:30

far away in Texas, but she's doing well,

36:32

Like do you think she's sweet.

36:34

She surprised me, and she won me over.

36:37

Is she the superstar of this this year?

36:39

I mean, she showed every facet.

36:41

She doesn't get phased when people are yelling

36:44

her face, and I don't know how she does

36:46

it. I was really impressed. I agree

36:48

with you. And she actually never she never started

36:51

it with the other ladies, like I mean, you know, the

36:53

cougar stuff or whatever was lame, but like

36:55

they always came at her first. And

36:59

and I feel like the fact that she didn't

37:01

tell the other ladies that her mom was in

37:03

prison and that she was sort of quiet about

37:05

it, and that how much he did, how

37:08

much of the confidence is real and how much

37:10

is a front? I

37:12

mean, I couldn't fake that

37:15

if you paid me a million dollars to be crying,

37:18

if anybody, I mean,

37:20

I feel like it's real. But then remember when she when

37:23

she got broken up with back Wherever

37:25

a few episodes ago, she was like,

37:28

no one ever loves me back, And I think

37:30

there's definitely some trauma that where she

37:32

might be a little like too much in quotes

37:35

for like dud didn't

37:38

say she was too much, you know, he said that I'm more

37:40

and no one will love me. Well, five

37:42

women have left, you know, like are

37:45

we all broken or just just TV? And

37:47

everyone to everybody except for the guy who could

37:50

play darts. He's the only yeah

37:53

together, he should be the bachelor.

37:56

He should be the bachelor, and Stevie should be the bachelor,

37:58

the only non broken one. Did

38:01

anybody find Cassie and her dad's

38:03

relationship a little weird? Did she

38:05

turn when she would talk

38:07

to him? Younger her lower

38:09

lip? She was, she

38:12

was like she was like six and he was He

38:14

seemed I don't know if I'm putting something

38:16

on him, but he seemed to like

38:19

he was dating his daughter. Vibe. I was

38:21

weird. I agree. I agree. I didn't

38:24

care for him showing up, Like like

38:26

I said, I told us in the last episode, him

38:28

showing up made her seem so young.

38:31

Where if anyone who's like an adult, their parents

38:33

would be like, figure it the funk out. They want to sho

38:35

be like, I don't know about this, you should

38:37

not do this to say, hey, your daughter

38:40

would probably we'll fly you out for free. You want to come first

38:42

class? He was like, I'm there,

38:46

daughters, and it's her third

38:48

reality show, Like there's this whole

38:50

family is not

38:53

shy to be on you know, yeah,

38:56

and I'm sure they cut it out, but you think that they

38:58

would, you know, when they're something you're eating

39:00

these four people and say, yeah, I'm on a TV

39:02

show. What

39:06

did you think when I left to move

39:08

into mansion in Calabatha? There

39:12

was another I guess it was the episode before this

39:14

where the helicopter ride

39:17

becomes you got me a helicopter?

39:20

Oh my god, yes,

39:23

yeah, yeah

39:26

he did nothing. He didn't do anything.

39:28

Do they say, hey, just make it seem like you did it, And they

39:31

probably do that. Maybe

39:33

they get so Stockholm syndrome stuck

39:35

so much and they're like, oh my god,

39:38

and they got me a helicopter. Oh he picked

39:40

me for the one on one when the whole thing

39:42

is pre right,

39:45

all the producers, when you're going with this person next

39:47

and you're going to skydive, and he liked

39:51

you took me, picked me and took me skydiving.

39:53

I had a guy who was a contestant

39:56

on The Bachelor at in He

39:59

was in my Rowlings class and he said,

40:01

its home. Can I can?

40:03

I say? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,

40:06

Lucas Lucas,

40:08

Lucas, Yeah,

40:13

yeah, what

40:16

he stuck you know what. He

40:18

was funny as ship and then he would like

40:21

just completely crash in other scenes. But

40:23

he won me over. He's a smart guy.

40:25

I think he went to Berkeley, does everything, tell us

40:28

everything. I like him. I like him a lot.

40:30

Okay, wait, so you were about to say kind of a broke

40:32

before I cut you off about

40:36

what it was like being on the batch. Well, I got giddy

40:38

when I found out he was on the batchere. I didn't see that season,

40:40

so I was like, what, You're on the Bachelorette

40:43

and he said, uh, he said, it's all fake. It's

40:45

all it's all the producers.

40:48

Uh, for the moment they filled

40:50

up with alcohol. Yeah, someone

40:53

who knows, someone who knows someone who knows this person who

40:55

knows a producer who took a groundlings class. He took

40:57

it around eighteen degrees the separation. Well,

41:00

I remember Johnny Pemberton said he was

41:02

in a groundling class years ago with anale

41:05

from ri season, the trauma

41:07

one who had trauma everything I was training.

41:09

She was a student while I was training. Yeah,

41:11

yeah, met

41:13

her in San Francisco. You did she

41:16

gorges? I remember telling you she's

41:19

gorgeous. I don't

41:21

you remember her. It was

41:23

like she was like that the bumpers,

41:25

the bumper car was like it was just a very traumatic experience.

41:31

And then yeah, and then when she went to Paradise

41:33

this last summer, she fell in love with every guy

41:35

and then she ended up with that guy that

41:37

was what's his Oh that guy.

41:40

He was like your robot Camille

41:44

Camille and his Instagram

41:47

things like this is me shortless next to her

41:49

stump, this is shirtless in a car.

41:51

He was like me, shirtless grilling, that's

41:53

all you ever do? Like I am grilling. No, It's

41:56

like, okay, why don't you have a shirt on? Very

41:59

dangerous? Okay, wait, so you

42:01

knew Anelye. I knew Analyze and now

42:03

I know Lucas and yeah,

42:06

Analyze is very sweet. I can't.

42:08

Analyst was adorable. I can't. She

42:10

was. I was like, girl, you need to have more confidence,

42:13

like you're adorable.

42:15

Yeah. I follow her on Instagram and stuff.

42:18

Yeah me too, me too, me too. Puccini

42:20

ants exactly. Oh, let me look this up.

42:22

Analyze Puccini, Antilie

42:24

Puccini. She's

42:27

I mean, I think she was played

42:29

up to be a certain type of person and

42:31

I don't know when you met her in person, You're like, oh,

42:33

this is just a normal woman. She doesn't

42:35

seem like a stage five clinger or whatever they're

42:37

trying to pull. But she did fall. She did

42:40

say I could see him as a great dad about like

42:42

three guys. Yeah

42:45

yeah. And she did have traumatic

42:47

experiences about bumper the bumper cars.

42:49

Yeah yeah,

42:53

Puccini. Yeah.

42:57

So then we had we had Hannah

43:01

beast and uh, we

43:03

saw her auditioning hard to be the Bachelorette's.

43:06

You know, it's tough for me to open up. I feel

43:09

a pressure to be perfect in the Paget

43:11

world. I just you know, I just always want

43:13

to I always want to be perfect. And then she

43:15

had to give a toast. I was worried for her to give

43:17

a toast on stage. I was actually afraid she was.

43:20

I think they told her she'd have to do that because it

43:22

felt so like rehearsed,

43:25

like she was stood there for thirty hours and

43:27

said it over and over and over again, just

43:30

in case I'm

43:32

gonna sound so hollywoody. But I

43:34

felt like she'd gotten some botox

43:37

on her side near her eyes. I

43:42

felt like she'd gotten some like you

43:44

know, like like I felt like she'd gotten

43:46

a little bit. I was like, oh, she's really getting

43:48

ready to be the bachelorette, like she's

43:50

been put through some weird Hollywood machine

43:52

a little bit here. I believe that

43:55

she definitely had, like she had a poise

43:58

to her that she did not have before. No,

44:00

not the woman who have panicked giving a toast

44:02

of a hot tub. All

44:04

you have to say is to us to love

44:07

to an adventure like cheers,

44:13

cheers, cheers, And then Kaylin fake

44:15

crying. I just feeling

44:18

not loved back and

44:20

oh god, you know, look, I knew

44:22

I was the front runner and I was falling

44:24

in love. And since Singapore, what

44:27

the hell happened? Ah?

44:30

I mean, he's just not that into you. Oh

44:34

you know that's a big thing. There's

44:37

really um well, I

44:39

won't get into this, but just so I think I want

44:41

to write a book of actually the already reade

44:43

this book. He's not that. I mean,

44:49

it was a good idea, so I realized it was already

44:51

a book. But you can see how you have

44:53

good ideas. You've got a great idea

44:55

that's an expense, that's a million dollar ideas,

44:58

make it into a movie already.

45:03

How about Sydney auditioning

45:05

really hard to go to paradise, like trying

45:08

to go. Have you whacked my wei?

45:10

Like, girl, it's not sexy.

45:13

I love that she the

45:15

older one would there

45:17

be like it's some big giant

45:19

dirty bush.

45:22

Yeah. The older

45:25

yeah she was. She was like whacking my weeds

45:27

and like planting the seeds. Was

45:29

like, oh yeah, not not

45:32

great. The older woman was Tracy,

45:34

who claims to be thirty one and

45:38

there's no way she's thirty long. She's a minimum

45:40

thirty seven way, I

45:42

don't believe she's older

45:45

or younger than like thirty six or thirty seven.

45:47

He thought. I was, yeah, my

45:50

kid, I

45:52

feel like she's a minimum

45:56

and a kid. Anna has no like she can't

45:58

she's like age blind, she can't adult.

46:02

I felt like Tracy felt like she was like forty one

46:06

or she's like aged from like being

46:08

in l a like just looks aged from like

46:10

the stress of being what she's like,

46:12

I don't like something. She was a style

46:17

with the worst taste, so maybe that's aged her

46:19

a little. And then alcohol,

46:23

and then we had d j Aggro,

46:25

who I who really was

46:28

full of so much potential to be a good

46:30

um. He was full, so much potential to be a

46:32

good villain, and then she did nothing. Her face

46:36

is out of control. She has had way

46:38

too much work done. Like it looked worse than

46:40

when she was on the show, Like her face looks so puffy.

46:43

I was like, stop injecting your

46:45

face with things. I know. I know because

46:47

she's so cute, because she was like the

46:49

initial photos of her was like, you're

46:51

adorable, just like, let it be, leave

46:54

it alone. I hate

46:56

when people's whole faces changed to like

46:58

their lips to their cheese. It's

47:01

just bad. I love a woman who's just totally

47:05

cuts her face And

47:09

yeah, you guys,

47:12

how do we feel about Okay,

47:14

so we've got two episodes left and

47:17

then we have Hannah,

47:19

I mean, are

47:22

wette?

47:25

How do we How do we feel

47:27

about her maybe being the bad What do you think he's

47:29

going to say with I really

47:32

can't see him? Do you think he's going to take Hannah

47:34

on a date at all? Wait

47:37

a minute, wait wait the

47:40

doll, the blonde doll? Oh

47:44

well, I how

47:47

can you can't, Cassie?

47:50

I have we propose them and know they're gonna see

47:52

this. Yeah, you know

47:55

they're gonna watch you be like I like you the best,

47:57

and they're gonna be so passive

47:59

aggress says the relationship like

48:01

yeah, no, no, I know, I know you Like

48:03

I got over it quickly, but like I get why

48:05

he told her that he's kind of desperately

48:08

trying to keep her. But that was the wrong. He

48:11

should have been like, all, yeah, no, you know you

48:13

can go, and then she would have been like, wait, I

48:15

feel like maybe I wrong.

48:19

Yeah, yeah, you know you have to be like, okay, bye.

48:21

Do you think she was Do you think she was honest in

48:23

that conversation? No, I don't either. I

48:26

think she kep saying I don't know she knew exactly

48:28

what. I think she's heard the dad about

48:30

the dad saying no about giving his approval,

48:33

and she took that as an out and oh

48:37

thank god I have to go. And

48:40

then and then he said he played

48:42

into it the exact wrong way. She's like, well, what did

48:44

you think when he said no? He's like, I'm not going to let it phase

48:46

me. I'm not going to let that get should

48:48

have been was like, yeah, it really concerned that she'd

48:50

been like, well, my dad's a jerk, and like,

48:56

what what should he have said? Though? I didn't know,

48:58

Like I I could see her say let's do this,

49:00

Let's do the scenario part and

49:02

I'll be all

49:04

right. What's you

49:07

like? Uh? You like this view? I'm

49:09

trying to lead in it? Okay? Yeah,

49:12

I mean I love you. I just I love

49:14

I'll garve. Oh my god, it's just so awesome.

49:16

It's so amazing, and

49:18

I love being with you. I love

49:20

Yeah, you know. I don't want to say that out loud.

49:22

I don't want to commit to that, but I'm trying to figure

49:25

that out. Okay, whatever do

49:27

you do? You girl? What's

49:29

on your mind? Honey? Pie? What's up? Racked

49:34

with thought? What's up? I've

49:36

been thinking about the fact that you said

49:38

yesterday that it didn't bother you

49:40

that my dad didn't give you my approval.

49:43

I mean, yeah, no,

49:46

it did bother me. Actually, I wasn't telling

49:48

you the truth, like

49:52

yeahed you look, I'm dating like for

49:54

the girls now for the girls, and I

49:57

think you're cool. I really do like you a lot of great

49:59

qualities. Mean, you know, whatever, the hair is,

50:01

whatever, But the thing is this, you

50:04

don't like my hair. No, it's fine, you're

50:06

great, but we're gonna know each other. My

50:09

hair. Okay, yeah, great, jeans

50:12

still in you're wearing those were like a

50:14

few years ago. Don't like. No, no,

50:16

no, no, listen, you're great and you're you're gonna fix

50:18

all this stuff. But the point is I'm

50:20

dating some people. You're one of them. You're you're

50:23

cute as hell. You know. I'd love to get down,

50:25

bang it out. Whatever. We're gonna do that. Maybe maybe

50:27

not, whatever. It doesn't matter to me because I have these

50:29

other girls that I like a

50:31

lot. Your dad, school and

50:33

whatever. Now

50:36

I want to know this are you? Is this

50:38

drama going to continue if we date? No?

50:42

I mean I can get different paths.

50:45

How would you like? How would you like my hair? I

50:47

just don't. I

50:50

just don't like. That's all. Let's

50:52

get some let's get at

50:53

it. He had to be confident,

50:55

He had to be confident and neg

50:58

her. Yeah, a

51:01

good bachelor, I would be arden. Oh my

51:03

good. You should be the bachelor, Kyle.

51:05

Yeah, you should be the bachelor. Everybody,

51:11

and in a very subtle

51:13

way. No, one's very subtle.

51:15

Yeah, very subtle. You're throwing little

51:18

compliments here and there, just enough. Wow,

51:21

that's so fucked up. You're good at that. Yeah,

51:24

well, I'm I'm professional, had I'm

51:26

eight years old now. Well,

51:31

Tanna was excited that you moved into the retirement

51:33

commure. Yeah, you got some

51:35

use to them.

51:40

He broughably trouble to talk. If you guys don't

51:42

know this about Kyle. Before we started recording

51:44

Tonight, Kyle last

51:47

summer texted me going,

51:49

I'm gonna buy a hot tip. I was like, ha ha

51:51

ha ha. He's like, no, for real, I

51:54

thought he was doing a bit. He was actually get a black

51:56

or a blue hot talk. Why don't you say, listen,

51:59

I gotta be your friend and don't get a tot tup

52:01

you more? Why did Why didn't you step up

52:03

a friend? I think I made

52:05

fun of it in the initial text, like you

52:07

don't want to be the hot top guy, like

52:09

it was like a jacuzzi. So then he

52:12

got a ten top

52:14

talk and

52:17

like never filled it up and

52:19

then just confessed that he

52:21

was standing at Costco recently

52:24

like admiring, like salivating

52:26

over a a shorter hot

52:28

talk that was like a short little one

52:31

that was you,

52:34

and but I can't

52:36

believe you actually finally hooked it up. Was amazing.

52:39

Well that was another like two grand by

52:41

the way, even just to get the line outside.

52:44

How much regret do you have over Honestly,

52:47

it's probably the biggest regret of

52:49

my life. I

52:52

think once it's summer and you're able to

52:54

talk hot time at night,

52:57

he's like, I got it actually when I was dating

53:00

somebody. And but there's something very sad

53:02

about a grown eight year old man in a

53:04

hot tub alone. It's

53:06

just it's this big hot tub. You

53:11

cannot do you ever invite all

53:14

the time, no one comes over. They're

53:17

busy. Kids.

53:21

Oh my god, kids,

53:24

I'm getting a

53:28

podcast. Children.

53:31

What about agree hang

53:39

out? I should not have gotten up this

53:41

morning, I

53:44

think. I think the hot tub will We'll

53:47

make you happy soon, I think. So. You

53:49

just gotta be possitive about the hot tub.

53:53

It was in the ground. I might do this, but

53:55

there's all here's the thing. I can put it in the ground

53:57

and put a deck that will look good. Right,

54:00

you send so much money trying

54:02

to like that, right by this giant

54:04

hot we're talking. Yeah, it's gonna

54:06

be six grand just to do a soils report

54:09

because in the hills there's all these hill ordinances,

54:11

so they might do a soil report.

54:13

I'll hand over six grand and then they'll be like, you

54:15

can't put something in the ground tier because

54:18

of the soil. Right, So

54:21

this is a great this is great, but

54:23

can you build the deck around it? I

54:26

love it. It's too high. I got

54:28

the costco one. It would look good. But this is

54:30

like, you know, three and a half feet in the air and

54:32

they put a deck below it. Doesn't do much.

54:36

What do you do all day? Kyle? Listen?

54:40

I do a lot of charity work, mostly

54:44

with your grand son's school. Oh, come

54:46

on, are

54:52

you dating somebody right now? Do you know?

54:55

I've been available. I've

54:57

been texting a couple of people. But everything's

54:59

going terrible, Everything terribly. Well,

55:03

you should ask if they want a flurry

55:05

of dick pics before you send them. Don't

55:07

you just send a d p ask?

55:14

Don't ask? Don't know? New

55:16

phone? Who

55:19

it is? A new phone? Who it is? Um?

55:22

Well, actually you have

55:25

to spin it and then ask the operator

55:27

to connect. Come on, guys, all right, let's go. What's next?

55:29

What's next? Okay?

55:32

Okay, we're gonna do. Will you help us

55:34

pick our tweet with the week? Yes,

55:41

Tweet of the week.

55:44

Okay, here's our first tweet for Tweet

55:46

of the Week. And we'll put our two of the week song here Da

55:49

da da Tree to the week. Okay.

55:51

Our first tweet for two to the week is from

55:53

Shyenne Constant. One of our favorites

55:55

at Trixie Firecracker was

55:58

Titia making a scrapbook.

56:01

We all know the ones where the scrap books get sent

56:03

home. Did they have her make a scrap book

56:05

in preparation to get dumped? Why does the

56:07

batchelor hate scrapbook? It's

56:10

true, that's the good point that

56:12

was up. They gave her all those photos

56:15

and where is the scrap book? I didn't see the scrap

56:17

book. It wasn't the coming up where they had

56:19

her like looking at photos of Oh my god.

56:21

No, she's right, she's

56:24

right. The scrap workers get sent home. They

56:26

never win. It's the same thing as

56:28

with Colton acting not

56:31

acting cool. Anybody who does

56:34

something where it looks like they care is going

56:36

home alone. Right for

56:39

anything in life, you always act

56:42

as though you don't want someone

56:44

or something. And why they

56:46

always seem to value people who open up,

56:48

and that's a trap. They

56:51

want the person they like that hasn't open

56:53

up yet to open up because they like so it's just

56:55

that. But that

56:59

is needy and creep be and you're like, you're suffocating

57:01

me. Weird whole. Yeah, I

57:03

gave a girl a flower in college for

57:05

like Valentine's Day and has never

57:08

heard from her again, kind

57:13

of like text.

57:17

It's like Stevia text after

57:21

that was my fower. You

57:25

gave her the gift. You spelled

57:27

it out in roses. Okay,

57:31

okay, alright. To our second.

57:34

Our second tweet for two to the week is from

57:36

Jenny Haunt at Jenezuela. Every

57:38

time I see Katherine A k A d

57:40

j Agro, I'm just reminded that she

57:43

was basically the fire festival of the

57:45

season. There was so much potential for

57:47

insanity there, but it, Jeff never

57:49

happened. Alexis

57:54

Madison at ABC Madison, I've

57:56

been trying to figure out if I've

57:59

been trying to figure out if his tie has a

58:01

bear on it as a massive hint for next

58:03

week. That's true. He was wearing

58:05

a weird bear tie. He

58:08

has gay guy gay guys. He's

58:11

a bear and

58:13

I had a rainbow on it. It It was like a rainbow

58:15

and a bear. Um.

58:18

Speaking of which, tweet of the week is Colton

58:20

himself. Colton Underwood I jumped

58:23

the fence like you told me to, and you weren't

58:25

there. And then Billie Aichner replied,

58:27

miss you, Oh

58:29

that's what I sent to Stevie.

58:34

And then our final tweet for Tweet of the week

58:37

is Cheyenne constant at Trixie Firecracker. Should

58:39

we tell you what that Stevie is a girl? I just realized,

58:42

No, no, we shouldn't. We shouldn't

58:44

that whole passive be fluid?

58:47

Kyle, it's

58:48

not. He

58:52

doesn't remember from a different

58:54

time. Shyenne

58:57

Constant at Trixy Firecracker,

59:00

whole pacifier stuff. All these girls

59:02

have aspirations beyond paradise. They're

59:04

ready for the big leagues, real housewives, reunions.

59:09

I'm gonna go for To me, the winner is scrap

59:12

Yeah, all right. Shan constant

59:15

At Trixie Firecracker was tasted making a scrap

59:17

book. We all do the the ones where the scrap books

59:19

get sent home. Did they have her make a scrap book in

59:21

preparation to get dumped? What does the Bachelor

59:23

hate scrap booking? Cheyenne, We

59:26

we've loved you for this entire

59:28

season and last season. Keep them coming. Good

59:31

work, guys, what

59:33

are you anxious about in life in your upcoming

59:36

week. What do we need to help you with. Let's

59:39

see, Kevin, you want to start? Yeah,

59:42

start Kevin. After very low

59:44

income year, I still managed

59:46

to not secure all my W two forms for

59:48

my tax preparations, so so I

59:50

have to That's what's causing me angst.

59:52

I have to hunt those down in the next

59:55

week. What's causing you anxiety?

59:57

Anna? Um, you know, actually

59:59

I just my taxes figured out. Good

1:00:01

luck. Yesterday. I saw my tax person,

1:00:04

Um, where did you find them? Where do you find them?

1:00:06

I went out into the yelps

1:00:08

and I reached out and asked for quotes and

1:00:10

I got a good one, and she oh

1:00:12

god, she hates The Bachelor. And

1:00:15

I was trying to be like, yeah, no, it was fine. She's like, should I

1:00:17

listen to your podcast? I was like, I don't know

1:00:19

if you want to listen if you hate the Bachelor,

1:00:21

and she was like, I know when people, when people come

1:00:23

up me with their hate, I'm like, you're barking up the wrong Like

1:00:27

yeah, when they're like angry about it, it's like,

1:00:30

yeah, I'm gonna try. I'm not here to try

1:00:32

and make you like it, like your

1:00:34

thing. Or is not. Yeah, I was like, we make jokes,

1:00:36

so that might entertain you. I don't know, maybe she'll listen

1:00:38

to this and who knows. I hope you enjoy it,

1:00:42

enjoy it. We are

1:00:45

We have like us

1:00:47

on iTunes and Facebook. Here's a nice

1:00:49

quote from iTunes. Five stars

1:00:52

from f s Sale, Um,

1:00:55

let's see love Arden. I

1:00:57

just can't quit The Bachelor and this is a very

1:01:00

entertaining podcast. Thank you very

1:01:02

much my Bachelor franchise

1:01:05

friends. Five stars from Carla Marla.

1:01:08

None of my friends watched The Bachelor, so I have no one to

1:01:10

talk to about it. I was looking for a Bachelor

1:01:12

podcast and I listened to a few and I thought they were just

1:01:14

okay, and then I heard aren't another podcast

1:01:16

talking about this one? I listened to one podcast and I

1:01:18

was plucked. Hey girl, So we appreciate

1:01:21

you liking us on on

1:01:24

iTunes. We also have our Patrion

1:01:26

episodes where we just watched. We are in the

1:01:28

middle of watching Bachelor at

1:01:30

Australia, which is amazing. And

1:01:32

I just got my hands on the first episode

1:01:35

of Bachelor England and

1:01:38

I think we need to figure out how I

1:01:40

think we need to do it, and we need to find a link

1:01:42

for our listeners because it's amazing

1:01:46

art in Yeah, why

1:01:48

did you not ask me about what I'm

1:01:50

anxious about? Do

1:01:52

you don't care? If you don't care, you

1:01:54

don't care. That's fun. That's what I've never ever

1:01:57

attracted to you, Kyle. I like you insulted

1:01:59

me, mixed me. I'm so confused. Right, all

1:02:03

right, man, you can use that hair that's haircuts? Fine?

1:02:06

Yeah, should I get a haircut? Something

1:02:08

funked up with my hair? That's fine if

1:02:10

you like that. If you like that, now, just you

1:02:12

know, wait till it grows out, rob No,

1:02:14

no, no, I was saying. I mean, I was just thinking this was

1:02:17

just like this was just like a you know, like a fun

1:02:19

bob right, Yeah,

1:02:22

good temporary Kyle, what

1:02:24

are you anxious about? Nothing?

1:02:26

I'm good. I just wanted to be asked.

1:02:29

I'm actiously, I'm having trouble programming

1:02:31

my VCR clock right

1:02:34

here. This

1:02:36

keeps blinking twelve. Well,

1:02:41

you know, I mean it's it's it's hard.

1:02:43

It's hard for

1:02:45

for Kyle. Well, I

1:02:48

hope your grandson visits soon and you could

1:02:50

help you with that. Be

1:02:52

nice to um.

1:02:54

I'm n yeah, Kyle,

1:02:57

thank you for Kevin, did you have fun your

1:03:00

first time on the podcast? I did. I

1:03:02

did have fun. Thank you for You're gonna have to come. You

1:03:04

have to come to it when I'm actually in town. Oh

1:03:08

my god, I look amazing.

1:03:12

Jeans are amazing. I

1:03:15

look amazing. Right now I'm

1:03:18

in a down Wait,

1:03:20

you don't wait, you don't think I look at

1:03:23

Wait don't you find

1:03:25

me more attractive now that I'm I do like

1:03:27

this? Yeah, it's weird, right, I

1:03:30

just heard somebody would show up at my doorstep dressed

1:03:32

like the universe and I don't

1:03:33

know, I

1:03:35

know a guy for you. Somebody

1:03:39

would build. Why

1:03:43

can't I do my life over again? I could kill it

1:03:45

if I could just do it one flowers,

1:03:50

How could I find somebody to build

1:03:52

a gigantic frozen ice dick and then

1:03:55

I can watch like a teacher hack it

1:03:57

down that I don't regret that.

1:03:59

I don't regret that. Yeah, but the other great,

1:04:03

Well, this is fun, all

1:04:06

right, guys. I hope you had a good time,

1:04:08

and thank you for doing the

1:04:11

podcast. And when you come back on one, Hannah

1:04:13

beaches on and we can do it in person. Oh

1:04:15

hell yeah, hell yeah.

1:04:17

I gotta work out by the time of my Bachelor

1:04:20

podcast though, but we'll work it out. Okay, great,

1:04:22

we'll work it out. Make sure it works out, Cassie,

1:04:24

if you're listening, call me, okay, great

1:04:26

great great great great

1:04:29

great great great great Tanna host

1:04:31

n A, Kevin Birdson and

1:04:34

Kyle Don again. Thank you so

1:04:36

much. Bye. Oh

1:04:40

yeah you want to

1:04:42

get all up and you tonight feels

1:04:45

so good. I

1:04:47

just gotta wonder a bustion fer when

1:04:50

you reach some this rule of

1:04:57

these rules to your work

1:05:00

brown true,

1:05:08

your accept this rose into

1:05:10

your word