There’s no doubt that we have significant problems in the world. But better arguments aren’t going to make better people or a better world. Changing our attitude towards others will. What causes the barriers and what can we do about it? In this episode Rob Bialostocki explores how we view other people and suggests an alternative.

WHAT WE COVER

• It’s easy to think warmth and love for people we like
• This brings nice feelings and good actions
• Love is something the world desperately needs
• What about those who are different, argumentative, or who seem wedded to war?
• ‘Us’ and ‘them’ is at the heart of humanity
• Religion, politics, sports, locations can all be barriers
• We want to belong and feel safe
• We tend to group together with those we think are like us
• Separation creates barriers which can become problematic
• Travelling to Istanbul
• Seeing the Blue Mosque
• “Closed for prayer”
•  Treated as not part of the club
• Differences may not be necessary from hereon
• Heuristics are natural
• Minimising their impact by being deliberate
• Deliberately trying not to categorise others
• Seeing others as just a fellow human being
• Actively trying to wish the best for others
• The more we do it the easier it will become
• Trying to be more open to everyone and trying to be less judgemental
• Focusing on how similar we are
• Wishing warmth, peace and success to everyone you meet.  

HOW TO WORK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE

1. When you’re next out, consciously look at and notice another person.
   1. Pay attention to your thoughts - what are they saying?
   2. Notice whether you use categories such as gender, age, culture etc
   3. Deliberately say to yourself simply, “Look, there’s another person.”
   4. Leave it at that.
2. If your mind persists in categorising them, repeat the exercise.
   1. “There’s someone, a fellow human-being like me.”
3. Wish them good things, success and warmth.
   1. Smile at them, even if they don't see you.
   2. Look at them and say quietly to yourself, “May you be happy. May you be warm and safe. May you find success. All the very best.”
   3. Carry on with your day.
4. The more you consciously do this, the easier it will become.