0:34

Welcome and everyone , and thank you

0:36

so much for joining me again this week

0:38

. You guys are going to love

0:40

this week's guest . I'm joined this week

0:42

by Dr Andrea Vitz , and she is

0:44

the founder and CEO of

0:47

Level-Headed Doc LLC . I

0:49

can't wait for you to hear more about

0:52

what she does and what her

0:54

purpose is , and it focuses

0:56

around emotional sobriety

0:58

. Are you intrigued yet ? I

1:00

know that's going to get your attention . Besides

1:03

her trying to work to change

1:05

the world with her work through education

1:08

and emotional sobriety , she's also a

1:10

very busy chiropractor . She

1:13

has her own practice as well

1:15

, as she is raising a very

1:17

precocious young daughter . It

1:19

is my honor and

1:21

my pleasure to introduce to you Dr

1:23

Andrea Vitz . Andrea , thank

1:26

you so much for joining me and welcome

1:28

to the show .

1:28

Thank you so much , Adra . I love you

1:31

and I love your show , and I'm

1:33

so happy to be able to share everything

1:35

I have with your audience .

1:37

I am so excited . From the moment

1:39

I met you and you told me about

1:41

emotional sobriety , I was like what

1:43

? What is this ? Tell

1:46

me more . I've never heard of this

1:48

, but when you described

1:50

it it made so much sense so

1:53

I can't contain myself . So we're going to just start

1:55

at the good stuff , which is emotional sobriety . So

1:57

what is emotional sobriety ?

1:59

So emotional sobriety it's interesting , it's something

2:02

I thought that I made up , but

2:05

really , when you think of emotional sobriety

2:07

, you can look back all the way to the 12 step program

2:10

for Alcoholics Anonymous or NA , and

2:12

there is an element of sobriety work

2:15

that includes emotional

2:17

insights , so

2:19

to speak , but it's a much more kind of

2:21

like afterthought after

2:24

you do a 12 step program . And

2:26

for me , I was never a drug addict

2:28

or an alcoholic thank God it doesn't

2:30

mean I never drank , but just so you know

2:33

. But I was never an addict and

2:35

for me my huge problem was always

2:37

emotional . I was hysterical

2:40

, I was jealous , I was destructive

2:42

in my behaviors with other people . All

2:44

of this while I was already a doctor

2:47

at 23 and a mother at 25

2:49

and thinking I'm this mature quote

2:52

good person . And here's the thing is

2:54

that what was missing was my

2:56

emotional sobriety , and

2:58

that was that I believe

3:01

that emotional sobriety needs to be redefined . It's

3:04

like my chemistry was

3:06

the problem , and emotions

3:09

are chemistry Very , very simple

3:11

. So I think we have a huge component

3:13

of needing to make emotions objective

3:16

and easy to talk about

3:18

and figure out why they're there

3:20

in the first place , and so that's what my curriculum

3:22

is . My curriculum is called the you

3:25

you've never met and it teaches people

3:27

to get sober around

3:29

their emotional addiction . It

3:32

doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or a drug addict

3:34

, we're all addicts , all

3:36

of us and there is a very precise

3:39

training to overcome all

3:42

of the negative emotions that you chronically

3:44

feel , that hinder your interactions

3:46

with your boss or your coworkers , or your

3:48

partner or your children , your

3:50

in-laws . You know , there's a specific

3:53

process that will help you navigate

3:55

your emotions . There's a certain process

3:58

that will actually help you not

4:00

feel those emotions , because

4:03

they're just not made anymore and

4:05

as we continue talking , we're going to unravel

4:07

more of that . But really , emotional sobriety is

4:09

just a predominant place

4:11

of level-headedness , clarity

4:14

and peace , regardless of your circumstance

4:16

. Now raise your hand if you

4:18

want that . As a leader , as

4:20

a mom , you know , as a

4:22

partner , it's like I'm a leader , I'm level-headed

4:25

, I'm peaceful , I'm good , I've taken

4:27

care of me and now I can

4:29

just keep my eye on you and do

4:31

the job more effectively .

4:34

I have so many questions , my brain

4:36

just went , so the first

4:38

thing I'm going to ask , which might

4:40

be the same question that other people are thinking

4:42

is is emotional sobriety

4:45

the same as emotional intelligence

4:47

?

4:48

That's an amazing question .

4:50

I think it sounds like they're complimentary

4:52

, but I don't think it sounds the same .

4:54

That is a fantastic question . No , they are not

4:56

the same . However , you need to have a

4:59

level of emotional intelligence before

5:02

you can attain emotional sobriety as a

5:04

practice , and emotional intelligence

5:06

I consider as the awareness

5:08

of our emotions , and

5:11

or mainly , especially in

5:13

the workplace , we are

5:15

really asked to maintain

5:18

and shove down our emotions

5:20

around other peoples , so

5:23

it's really kind of has a negative impact

5:25

on the human being . We can't

5:27

. We have to express what

5:30

we need and we need to be able to

5:32

do that without being afraid of our

5:34

teammate or our partners

5:36

reaction . Does

5:38

that make sense ? So personal

5:40

, I feel like emotional intelligence training

5:43

takes the personal responsibility

5:46

away from the individual and

5:48

it teaches us to enable the

5:51

misbehavings , if you will , and

5:54

the hysteria of others , so

5:56

it allows for control . So

5:58

control over yourself

6:01

and the situation

6:03

or I believe emotional intelligence

6:06

, as it's been taught to me , is

6:08

you need to simmer down because

6:11

this person is going to react , and

6:13

so I'm automatically , I'm in an unsafe

6:15

space where I have to shove down what I need

6:18

in order to keep the

6:20

peace . But what emotional sobriety does

6:22

is it hits the other three A's

6:25

. I consider it the four A formula . If

6:27

emotional intelligence is emotional awareness

6:30

, well , we still have three

6:32

other A's , in my opinion . We have acknowledgement , which

6:35

is a level of personal responsibility . I'm

6:37

going to take care of me , my emotions

6:39

, my communication skills , my

6:42

behavioral patterns , and I'm going to

6:44

forgive everyone that I need to forgive

6:46

. And I'm going to learn how to do things

6:48

that I currently have no idea how to learn how

6:50

to do , and in that , that

6:53

acknowledgement of how my emotions

6:55

and behaviors have harmed others and myself

6:58

, that is the next

7:00

step beyond intelligence

7:02

, right ? Because now we're embodying it

7:04

. We're just not . It's not just knowledge , guys . Knowledge

7:06

doesn't take us anywhere unless

7:10

we embody and demonstrate it , and

7:12

my husband and I are starting a school called Lifted

7:14

Academy . We actually already have it , it's just

7:16

not all online yet , but Lifted Academy

7:19

does teach training emotionally

7:21

, mentally , physically and spiritually , because

7:24

we need all of those things . And

7:26

so when we acknowledge

7:28

our emotional insubriety

7:31

, we can actually take

7:33

the next two steps , which is action and

7:35

application . Because if

7:37

we have awareness of our emotional insubriety

7:40

, or our emotional intelligence

7:42

, so to speak , what do you do

7:44

then ? That was my huge problem

7:46

when I was going through my own process

7:49

of figuring out how to become quote emotionally

7:51

sober was I had

7:53

gone to endless seminars , read

7:55

so many self-help books and

7:58

even tried , will alone , to

8:00

stop the way I was feeling and stop the way

8:02

I was behaving , and none of them actually worked

8:04

. Because there's so many great

8:06

affirmations and memes and

8:08

books that tell you what you

8:10

need to be at the end point

8:13

, but no one says here's how , here's

8:16

a precise way to get to

8:18

that endpoint that you feel like is impossible

8:20

. So , emotional

8:22

intelligence very important , but it

8:25

is only a first step .

8:27

I am so intrigued

8:29

because it sounds

8:31

like in my head , if I'm on

8:33

the right track , emotional intelligence

8:35

is an awareness . Emotional sobriety

8:37

is the action behind the awareness

8:40

, because you're saying it's just

8:42

not enough to be aware , you have

8:44

to actually do something with it

8:46

and be responsible

8:48

for your

8:50

emotional behavior or lack

8:53

thereof .

8:54

Yes . So your emotional sobriety

8:56

is you take what you

8:58

learned through emotional

9:00

intelligence and you train it so

9:02

that it's not even an issue anymore . For

9:04

example , if I'm emotionally intelligent

9:06

to know that I struggle with addiction to fear and embarrassment

9:09

, that means , when I'm

9:11

practicing emotional sobriety , those chemicals

9:13

won't even be made , or

9:16

they'll be made so less often

9:18

that I'm a completely different

9:20

person in personality

9:22

when it comes to my negative emotions

9:25

. So , for example , many of our students will

9:27

say things like I have a completely

9:29

different relationship with my children . My

9:31

husband and I are together in

9:33

a way that we've never been before . We speak the same language

9:35

now because their emotions

9:38

are not hard to navigate anymore

9:40

. They don't avoid them , they

9:42

don't behave erratically , they don't blame

9:44

each other , they take personal

9:47

responsibility all across the board

9:49

, and when they do that , they're free

9:51

. They're free of this constant toxic

9:54

state where our emotions are controlling

9:57

our lives . And here's the thing , especially

9:59

for your audience what controls

10:01

how you feel controls you , okay

10:04

. So that means , if you

10:07

have the ability to have fear around

10:10

a certain scenario , you're going to

10:12

be easily controlled , and so

10:14

my job is to teach you to

10:16

remove the belief that

10:19

puts you in fear in the first place .

10:21

I'm going to tell on myself , because that's what I do on

10:23

my show is I tell on myself , and

10:27

I have a fresh experience

10:31

that we can discuss and maybe pick

10:33

apart , because it

10:35

just happened to me this week . And

10:40

I live , I live . I'm

10:42

a corporate drone . I've never made that not

10:44

a secret . I have a

10:46

corporate job outside of this

10:49

. I was asked this

10:52

week to

10:54

define my role

10:56

and what I want to

10:58

do for the next 12

11:01

months and at first

11:03

that made me really mad . And the reason

11:05

why I made it really mad is because I'm thinking if

11:07

you don't know what I do , then

11:09

what have I

11:11

been doing for a year , if you don't see me

11:14

and see the value ? And then

11:16

I stopped for a moment and went okay

11:18

, this could be an opportunity , I

11:21

could define what

11:23

I want for the next 12

11:26

months . And then I

11:28

sat and thought about it

11:30

and I realized that

11:32

I was nervous

11:34

to ask for what I really

11:37

wanted , because I have

11:39

been trained

11:41

, conditioned , whatever

11:43

to be nice

11:45

rather than kind , which

11:48

there is definitely a difference , and

11:51

I'm not the only female that has been conditioned

11:53

to do this . We've

11:56

been conditioned to show

11:58

up as nice . And then

12:00

I thought , okay , I'm not going to show up as nice

12:02

, I'm going to show up as kind , but I don't

12:04

know what that looks like because I'm

12:07

not trained that way . So I'm telling on myself

12:09

, because I know that this is part of emotional

12:12

sobriety , because there's so many complex

12:15

emotions that come with being a woman

12:17

Girl

12:20

let's take this and run with it , because

12:22

if you just listen to this next part , you will

12:24

completely change your life .

12:26

All right , I'm taking notes . That's

12:29

legit , okay . So let's

12:31

go back to the moment where you were asked what you do . When

12:35

that was stated to you , what did

12:37

that mean about you that

12:39

they didn't know In

12:41

your mind ? What did that mean about Audra ?

12:45

In my head I was like you

12:47

don't recognize my value . That

12:49

was my first knee jerk

12:52

. Reaction is that you don't recognize this .

12:55

Right on . Okay , great . And

12:57

so if that were true , that they don't recognize your

12:59

value , what would that mean about you ?

13:02

That I'm wasting my time and

13:05

you're I'm not valued

13:07

at all , that

13:09

I have no value .

13:11

That I have no value . Girl Nailed

13:13

it . So that is what I would call

13:16

an inherited or a trauma-influenced

13:18

self-belief that you

13:20

believe somewhere in you that

13:23

you have no value . Otherwise

13:26

you wouldn't have felt any

13:28

emotion around it . Oh my

13:30

God , andrea , you're brilliant . If

13:33

you didn't believe it , here's the deal . Audra

13:36

, you're a pineapple . How

13:39

do you feel about that ?

13:41

Andrea , I adore you , but that's ridiculous , Right

13:43

.

13:45

So think about that . You only get upset or

13:47

emotionally reactive because you

13:49

believe one of those statements or interpretations

13:51

. Because here's the thing no one came out and said you have no value

13:54

to us , audra . No , they

13:56

said what do you do ? You

13:58

see how you interpreted that to

14:00

mean something about you . Now

14:03

, what happens is , once that belief

14:05

is validated seemingly

14:07

validated by the way you

14:09

are flooded with chemistry , adrenaline

14:12

, a benevolent , and you might call it

14:14

fear , you might call it anger , you

14:16

might call it embarrassment or shame

14:18

. It depends on

14:20

what you were conditioned to feel as a child

14:22

. So go back to

14:24

your childhood and think about this . Where

14:27

did that belief stem from ? Was it a

14:29

chronic trauma ? Was it

14:31

a one-time thing ? And you remember

14:33

here you can have had one

14:35

thing that happened that was seemingly benign

14:37

. It could be like my dad went to work and I thought

14:39

he was leaving me forever and that printed

14:42

I have no value and I just kept believing

14:44

that . So think about that . You

14:47

don't have to share details if you don't feel comfortable , of course

14:49

, but where did that start

14:51

? It's just us among friends .

14:54

I mean , come on , it's just us amongst friends

14:56

in 73 countries . Who's going

14:58

to tell ? Who's going to tell ?

14:59

Well , I love it . Be vulnerable Like what . This

15:02

is how you help the world right ?

15:04

Okay , this is very vulnerable

15:07

and very naked . My sister listens

15:09

to this , so , Noel , hang

15:11

on tight because I'm telling stories

15:13

. So

15:16

our mother

15:18

is bipolar

15:20

and it

15:23

went undiagnosed for

15:25

decades because

15:28

she had the perfect job

15:30

for someone that has bipolar

15:32

she was an ER nurse , so

15:35

she was phenomenal at her job

15:37

. If you were dying , she's

15:40

the one that you wanted in your room

15:43

to save your life .

15:45

Hyper focus yeah .

15:48

Outside of that environment

15:50

she could not function

15:52

. So it was anger

15:55

all the time and it was explosive

15:57

and you never knew where it was coming from . You

16:00

just knew it was your fault , but

16:02

you don't know what you did . And

16:06

then there was obviously abuse , because

16:09

people that are bipolar not all of them , but a lot

16:11

of them are abusive in one way or one

16:13

way or form or another . When I was

16:15

younger it was physical . When I got

16:18

taller and stronger than her , it became

16:20

emotional , which was way more effective

16:22

, and I was told on a

16:24

regular basis that I was worthless

16:26

.

16:27

Boom .

16:29

All the time .

16:31

Your brain literally formed around

16:33

the belief that you're worthless and you have no value . That

16:35

means that every time you

16:38

hear something that sounds like that or

16:41

let's say , your partner or your boss

16:43

says something or doesn't say something

16:45

in the right way , does something

16:48

or doesn't do something in the right

16:50

way , you filter that through your

16:52

trauma filter of unworthiness and nonvalue

16:54

and when that happens , you are flooded

16:56

with shame and guilt and maybe even

16:58

fear . Okay

17:01

, yeah , and now what happens ? If

17:04

emotions are chemicals , what

17:06

else is a chemical ? Because emotions are chemicals

17:08

made in the body . I call them well , they're

17:10

called endogenous chemicals . So what would

17:12

be an exogenous chemical that

17:15

you can think of that people consume ?

17:18

Alcohol , nicotine , drugs , whichever

17:20

Perfect .

17:22

Yeah . So let's just take alcohol as an example

17:24

. If I were to flood

17:26

you full of , let's say

17:28

, an IV full of alcohol , right , and

17:30

it just infiltrates your whole system

17:32

, and you were intoxicated with

17:35

alcohol , would you behave in

17:37

conscious ways ?

17:39

Oh , definitely not , because it

17:41

makes you do things you wouldn't normally

17:43

do .

17:45

It makes you enact what's in your

17:47

subconscious mind . And

17:49

yeah , and trust me , this is a whole other program . If

17:52

you have me on several times , eventually I'll share

17:54

with all the girls about my subconscious

17:56

mind , I am not afraid

17:59

. Share the mistakes I've made

18:01

, the things I've done , Like

18:03

I think that's the only way we realize that we're all the same

18:05

right . But I want you to recognize

18:07

if you're flooded with alcohol , you're going to behave

18:10

belligerently , right . The

18:12

same thing happens when

18:14

you are flooded with emotion . You

18:17

know that feeling , you guys . I get

18:19

that flood of acidity that you get

18:21

and you have no control over yourself

18:23

. You might for a while

18:25

, you might be able to hold it back

18:28

with will , but eventually , especially

18:30

if there's another person tapping on the door

18:32

of your emotions , you're going to lose

18:34

it . And that is what I

18:36

teach . I teach you to stop

18:39

believing the things that you believe

18:41

about you and train physically

18:44

, mentally and emotionally away

18:46

from that belief system , which is total

18:49

BS . By the way , the fact

18:51

that you ever could believe that you're worthless

18:53

or of no value is completely

18:55

absurd to everyone else in

18:57

the world . So any second that

18:59

you believe that , just know it's a damn lie and

19:03

recognize how that belief influences

19:05

every decision you make .

19:07

Oh , my gosh through that lens

19:09

, because Through that lens .

19:11

So if you were right now just to pull your

19:13

chest out , head up , chest up , right

19:16

now , just do that Good . Take a deep breath

19:18

.

19:19

Okay .

19:20

Like wow , that was all BS .

19:23

That's all BS . Yeah , which is

19:25

?

19:27

That person was just asking what you do . That's

19:32

it . Yeah , maybe they

19:34

wanted your interpretation of what you do , maybe

19:36

they don't have your skill set and

19:38

they want you to make it clear . So

19:40

we don't . We always are filtering

19:43

it through our worst case scenario filter

19:45

of I'm not good enough , I'm

19:47

unimportant , I'm unattractive , I'm

19:49

going to be tricked , I'm going to be betrayed , I'm

19:51

going to be a joke . We all have different beliefs

19:53

, but we're all the same , because what happens

19:56

when that police validated were flooded with chemistry

19:58

. We become emotionally drunk and we

20:00

demonstrate what I call emotionally

20:03

triggered behaviors . They're

20:05

the behaviors that are triggered by

20:07

emotion . So

20:09

little baby Audra comes out . Oh yeah

20:12

. When when fear and

20:14

embarrassment are at the forefront

20:17

. Okay , little baby Audra

20:19

, what does little baby Audra do ? So we would find

20:21

what behaviors you demonstrate

20:23

. Well , do you become childish

20:26

? Do you throw a tantrum ? Do you run and

20:28

hide ? Do

20:30

you scream at them and and try to rip

20:32

their arms off ? Like what does it look like ? Or do you

20:35

become just offensive when your big wall comes up

20:37

and you just , you know you

20:39

get short and snappy right Like

20:42

you're fried out . Or

20:44

do you become extremely judgmental

20:47

of the other person ? Do

20:49

you engage in secondary

20:51

addiction or compulsion , like drinking or

20:53

eating or gambling

20:56

? Or , you know , addiction to sex

20:58

, right , what is it Like ? Everyone

21:00

has a very similar

21:02

mechanism or an identical mechanism

21:04

of what causes our emotionally

21:07

unsover moments , but we all have different

21:09

flavors and that's fun . That's

21:11

a fun part of finding . In my course I teach that

21:13

and in my book , the

21:15

you you've never met , there's

21:17

a precise way to find all

21:19

of your specific flavors that make up

21:21

your in sobriety , so that you then

21:24

can develop a profile , precise plan that allows

21:26

you to get out of it .

21:28

That's amazing , because I will tell you my drug

21:30

of choice is . I'll show you that

21:35

is my drug of choice is . I'll show

21:37

you , because that's

21:39

what . That's what I did . I'll

21:41

show you .

21:43

So that's an example of where this is

21:45

super important for you girls to hear . Your

21:47

trauma was not in vain . Your

21:50

inherited beliefs are not in vain . They

21:53

will . They will expose a super

21:56

human version of you . So if

21:59

the Audra that has the vibrant

22:02

, I'll show you attitude have

22:04

that match with I'm also extremely

22:06

capable , valuable and worthy . Woo

22:09

, how far would you go , how little

22:12

conflict would you have Because you just be

22:14

like , boom , I'm there . You know , it's

22:16

the belief that holds you back . So you're in the

22:18

spin cycle and that's why I call it addiction , called

22:21

emotional addiction , because you are

22:23

, there's a part of you that knows

22:25

that you can do more , that you can

22:27

do great things . But then there's that voice

22:30

, there's that subtle

22:32

voice that says but no , you're

22:34

just a small , worthless

22:36

little thing . They , that's how they see you

22:38

. And if they see you that way , then

22:40

it must be true . And it's like no

22:43

freaking way , ladies

22:45

, no freaking way . You

22:47

are so much more powerful than you've ever

22:49

even imagined . You know , you've probably

22:52

read posters that say like you're , you're

22:54

empowered , you're a magnificent

22:56

, you're strong woman , strong . You know , it's

22:58

like you're . You have not even scratched

23:00

the surface of your strength , not

23:03

even close . So if you've done great

23:05

things , amazing , you're

23:07

going to do far greater and

23:09

be like how was I ever

23:11

under that spell that I

23:13

wasn't good enough , that I wasn't worthy

23:15

? You know , literally the only difference

23:18

between you and a man is you don't have a penis like that . That's

23:20

that they truly believe

23:22

that in my heart , like that is , or

23:24

they don't have a vagina . Let's

23:26

, let's do it that way . But men , you

23:28

know , I have incredible amounts of students that

23:30

are men because they want to take responsibility

23:33

for themselves . Now , too , they're

23:35

starting to see how , by

23:37

virtue of learning to communicate , learning

23:40

that they don't have to shove everything down and pretend to

23:42

be big shots and pretend to be or

23:44

be unkind in

23:46

order to control . You

23:49

know they want that . They just

23:51

never learned how . The same way

23:53

, we never learned how to be around

23:55

that in a healthy way .

23:58

We were never trained that , and so

24:00

this leads me to and this is probably

24:02

going to be controversial just because it

24:04

just does it just bring

24:07

it . Have you seen the Barbie movie

24:09

? I've not . I'm

24:12

so sorry . I'm

24:14

going to . It's okay . You don't need to see it

24:16

to know what I'm going to talk about . So

24:18

I need to preface this by saying I

24:20

had no interest in seeing

24:23

the Barbie movie . I did not because

24:25

I didn't play with Barbies as a child

24:27

. I actually I probably wouldn't surprise

24:29

you to know that I didn't play with dolls as a child

24:32

because they bored me . I just

24:34

they were boring . I didn't

24:36

really want to see it because

24:38

I don't

24:40

agree with the persona

24:44

of Barbie in general

24:46

. However , my

24:49

22 year old daughter asked

24:52

me to go with her and because

24:54

she's a young adult , she lives out

24:56

on her own , she's married what not ? I

24:58

will walk through fire . If she asks me to just

25:00

to spend time with her , totally

25:04

, get it . I went to this movie

25:06

with her completely . I

25:09

had an open mind because

25:11

I did some research before

25:14

to see what I was getting myself into

25:16

and I liked the

25:19

actors that were involved . I

25:21

liked the director that was involved . So

25:23

I was like , okay , I'm going to give this a shot . The

25:26

whole whole premise

25:28

of this movie was

25:31

how we are all stuck

25:34

in this , what

25:36

they're calling a patriarchal society

25:39

that we're all suffering

25:41

, male and female

25:43

, because of

25:46

these confines , of how

25:48

women behave and

25:51

how men think they're supposed to behave in

25:53

this system as well . Yeah

25:56

, so good . That's

25:59

the whole baseline of this whole

26:01

thing , and the reason why I say it's controversies

26:03

is because some people think that it was a manhating

26:05

movie or it was woke

26:08

or whatever . It's none of that . It's absolutely

26:10

none of that , because if you

26:12

came away from the movie thinking all

26:14

that , you missed the point . You absolutely

26:17

missed the point you know absolutely .

26:19

As somebody who used to be such

26:21

a manhater

26:23

, I now actually

26:26

have an incredibly warm

26:29

place in my heart for men and I

26:31

just want to be their advocate , just the same as women

26:33

, you know , because they're just people also

26:36

who had traumas and conditioning

26:38

and have emotional addiction and

26:41

behavioral patterning and self-belief

26:43

and we forget that because , well

26:46

, we don't forget it , we never knew it , we

26:49

never knew it . No one ever sat us down in

26:51

grade school and said okay , there's boys and girls

26:53

and you guys are the same .

26:56

No , as a matter of fact , they separated

26:58

us in rooms

27:00

when they had to do . I mean again

27:02

, I'm telling on myself , I'm 52 . This is what

27:04

happened when you were young . They actually put

27:07

boys and girls in two different rooms when they

27:09

went to have the

27:11

talk about . It wasn't

27:13

even sexuality , it was literally about

27:15

the body changes that you were about ready to

27:17

go through . So they I don't know what they

27:19

did in the room with the boys , but with the girls that

27:21

gave you tampons and pads . That's literally what they

27:23

did . But they separated you and said

27:25

you're different .

27:27

You're different and you should probably be ashamed about

27:29

what we're about to tell you . It's very

27:31

secret , it's very secret , yeah

27:33

. So my whole purpose

27:35

on earth is to remove pain

27:37

from people , like I've done

27:40

it as a chiropractor , I did it as a child . I've

27:42

done it , you know , as an MSO

27:44

, teacher and curriculum developer

27:46

. I do it as a , as a coach and consultant

27:49

and executive coach . I do this because

27:51

to me it's so obvious . It's

27:54

so obvious right where the pain is , I just feel

27:56

like I could reach in and pull it out of you . And

27:59

so when I'm sitting down with , let's say , a

28:02

company , I'm speaking

28:04

to the CEO , or with a decision maker and I'm saying

28:06

, okay , what are the biggest issues of your company

28:08

? It's usually all the same , it's

28:10

no different . Why ? Because

28:12

companies are full of people and

28:15

people have emotional insubrity . They

28:19

have beliefs about themselves that aren't true . That

28:21

now help that force them to

28:23

make decisions they would never consciously make

28:25

, behave in ways they would never consciously choose

28:28

if they weren't flooded with emotion . So

28:31

I'm not ever saying emotion

28:33

is bad or wrong . I'm saying

28:35

you're chronically made fear

28:37

, embarrassment , anger and

28:40

resentment and guilt , etc

28:42

. All of that is a waste

28:44

. It's just toxicity

28:46

. It breaks down your body , it breaks down your

28:48

relationships and it stalls your

28:50

life . I often say that you know exogenous

28:53

chemical addicts like alcoholics and drug addicts

28:55

and food addicts . It will kill them

28:57

. But when you're

28:59

simply an emotional insubriter , an emotional

29:01

addict , you

29:03

never start living , you're

29:07

never fully alive until

29:09

you're like wow , I don't have to look at the world

29:12

through this filter anymore , like

29:14

right now . If you were to go back in time

29:16

and redo that entire scene that happened

29:18

in your workplace , adra , what

29:20

would that look ? Wouldn't that look so different ?

29:24

Absolutely I would have . I would

29:26

look at it very objectively and go

29:28

okay , then let me put

29:30

something together for you . And

29:32

then I would also say , okay , this might be an

29:34

opportunity for me to teach

29:38

and lead . But

29:40

I would remove my

29:43

initial reaction , which was what

29:46

do you mean ? That was what went

29:48

off in my head . It absolutely went off in

29:50

my head . Yeah , and then they were

29:52

your mom .

29:53

Yes , they were a demonstration

29:56

of somebody that you think has authority

29:58

over you that doesn't see

30:00

how valuable you are . Yes

30:02

, absolutely so

30:04

. That probably happens in your marriage and

30:07

that probably happens with anything

30:09

that your little girl self sees as an authority

30:11

that can have influence

30:13

over you . I'm not saying your husband's your authority , but has influence

30:15

over you because , man , let's face it , romantic

30:18

relationships are . They are the

30:20

hardest place to survive emotionally

30:24

speaking , because of all

30:26

of the infiltrated

30:29

beliefs from both people and

30:31

the most important relationship of your life

30:33

. Good luck , yes

30:35

, so you know , my husband

30:37

and I have spent a decade creating

30:40

a relationship course so

30:43

that people can come take the class together

30:45

and they have a new language , they have a new understanding

30:47

and they know how to take action together . They become teams

30:50

. They're high-fiving in the kitchen Like yeah

30:52

, we did it , we didn't fight , because we use

30:54

these tools . Like , yeah , baby , you were so vulnerable

30:57

, you were so humble , you acknowledged you . That

31:00

is what I want for everyone to feel

31:02

free to be totally honest

31:04

about who they've been being . Because

31:07

I'm serious , have me back on here . I will

31:09

like , I will divulge everything . That's

31:12

like control you want

31:14

to know . I'm like how are you so

31:16

together ? You're such a great leader

31:18

, you're such a great teacher . And I'm like , okay , let's

31:20

put on the humility train here . Okay

31:23

, because it wasn't always that In fact

31:25

didn't want to be a teacher . I

31:27

had to be , because I just happened to pull

31:29

myself out of such a big deficit that

31:32

I became great at it Not

31:34

perfect , but great at it . But

31:36

my subconscious is still there , and

31:39

so I have to be constantly maintaining diligent

31:42

training with my emotional and mental

31:44

self .

31:45

So I'm going to put you on the spot now and

31:47

ask you what

31:50

pushed you to do this , because

31:53

I mean this is very raw

31:55

. I mean you have to strip

31:58

yourself down emotionally to

32:00

get to the bottom of this , you

32:02

have to be brave enough to do it and

32:05

you also have to be very diligent

32:07

to keep doing it . So

32:11

what made you do this ?

32:14

Well , you know a couple of things

32:16

. One is you nailed it when you said you have to be brave

32:18

to do this . I always say and I think it's

32:20

written on the back of my book , even it's this

32:22

work is for the brave and gritty , this

32:25

work is for the brave and gritty . And who's more

32:27

brave and gritty than us girls ? Come on so

32:30

you especially .

32:32

have you seen us give birth ?

32:34

Come on , there's nothing but brand

32:36

new home Our viewers . We are determined

32:39

and relentless and we just have

32:41

to put that energy in the right spot . I

32:43

got into this because I was again . It's such

32:45

a deficit . I was like 29

32:47

years old , I had suffered a really bad spinal

32:49

injury and I was a chiropractor . I was about

32:51

to have to retire and I entered

32:54

into a new relationship with somebody who I had

32:56

known for about a year , who

32:58

has helped me here rehabilitate my

33:01

spinal injury , and

33:03

that was getting a lot better as

33:05

I was improving my emotional

33:07

state . But long story short , this

33:09

person ended up becoming my husband

33:12

and before we

33:14

got married he said something very important

33:16

to me and it wasn't the first time I've heard this , but it was the

33:18

first time I listened . He said the

33:20

person that you say you are isn't actually

33:23

who you demonstrate as all the time . The

33:26

person that you say you are isn't

33:28

the same person that you say that you

33:30

demonstrate as all the time . And when I heard

33:32

that , I trust and respected him so much Don't

33:35

get me wrong I was defensive as

33:37

hell . I was like

33:39

you better watch your mouth , right

33:41

, I have a pretty girl back there . I

33:44

just stopped and I'm like okay , I went home I

33:46

thought about it . I'm like , okay , here's

33:48

what he's actually saying . Where

33:51

can I see evidence of it in my life ? And

33:54

I recognize . Okay , I'm not

33:56

happy , I'm hysterical , I'm

33:58

psycho jealous . I mean , when

34:01

you have you ever seen movies with psycho jealous

34:03

girls ? I was that girl . I had no

34:05

control over it at all . I

34:07

would hysterically cry , I

34:09

would yell , I

34:11

would , I would shame

34:14

, I would play emotional games , I

34:16

would use emotional leverage

34:18

, you name it . And so the

34:21

way that I got better was not

34:23

the way . The reason I got better was not just

34:25

to keep not to keep this relationship , even

34:27

though it was super important to me , but it was thinking

34:29

of my daughter and thinking , oh my God

34:32

, my daughter is going to feel the way I feel , which

34:35

is not good . She's going to think the way that

34:37

I think , which is really patterned and obsessive

34:39

, and she's going to behave the way

34:41

that I behave , and I don't want that for

34:43

her . She is this amazing

34:46

, sweet creature , just like I

34:48

was an amazing sweet creature before

34:50

I let everything take me away from

34:53

who I truly am . And so one

34:55

of the things my husband said again before he was

34:57

my husband , was I know you're in there . I

34:59

know that you are the person you say you are , but

35:03

you just don't demonstrate it all the time . And

35:06

so let's figure out how to help you get those

35:08

in alignment . And so , for

35:10

me , I got into this first

35:12

by having to

35:14

do such deep personal work

35:17

and I had to let it not be a big deal . I

35:19

had to let it be objective , to look and say

35:21

, wow , I am totally

35:24

dishonest . I never would have

35:26

thought of myself as a liar , you know . But wow

35:29

, I lied about everything

35:31

and I was

35:34

. I was a perpetual drama

35:36

queen , and not in the ways that I think

35:38

some people would think , but like I would always find

35:40

something to be not offended by in

35:42

the way like politically or gender

35:45

roles . I was offended by things that

35:47

meant something about me . I'm

35:50

not good enough , I have no value , I'm

35:53

going to be a joke , I'm going to be

35:55

betrayed . Those were mine , and I was addicted

35:57

to embarrassment and

35:59

fear . And I recognized , as I was going

36:01

through this work of tons of introspection

36:05

and and really checking

36:07

my patterns and really asking myself

36:09

well , what am I really hoping to accomplish here ? What's

36:12

true here ? Where am I lying here ? Where

36:14

am I full of shit here ? Pardon my language , but

36:17

I had to and I was the only one

36:19

that was able to do that . Nobody

36:22

else could have done that for me and

36:24

I just kept doing it . And I kept doing it and sharing

36:27

it with my husband , sharing

36:29

it with my friends , getting

36:32

it out and then training the

36:34

opposite . Training the opposite , and

36:36

when I got to a place where I felt like I was totally

36:39

cleaned out , I recognized I was

36:41

able to look back and reverse engineer what I did

36:43

. And that's when my book started . I reverse

36:45

engineered what I did , but I also

36:47

had this emphasis of a

36:49

realization that my

36:51

emotions were chemicals and that means

36:53

I was addicted to them , because I

36:55

could just be sleeping , wake up and have an anxiety attack

36:58

. Why did that happen ? Well

37:01

, nothing happened . Why am I having a panic

37:03

attack ? Well , my body made adrenaline and

37:07

my brain matched it with a thought , and

37:10

I carried it into such a panic

37:12

that I had

37:14

no control . And so I looked at where

37:16

my body was making the chemistry , without there even

37:19

needing to be an input

37:21

, and I looked at where my brain

37:23

, my thoughts and the people in my life

37:25

, as I interpret what they do and say

37:27

, could create the chemical . And

37:30

so I'm like my body

37:32

is physically

37:35

looking for a reason to make this chemical

37:37

.

37:37

Because you're addicted to

37:39

it and it's what you know . It's

37:43

constantly feeding the addiction , and

37:46

so your body is craving what

37:48

it's addicted to .

37:49

Just like you crave having a spike in blood sugar

37:52

right , or another drink

37:54

or a cup of coffee , it

37:57

doesn't mean just because you're addicted

37:59

doesn't mean you like something . In fact , if you've ever

38:01

known a true alcoholic , there's

38:03

not one of them that likes it . Nobody

38:05

likes to drink all day , throw

38:07

up , not be able to eat , be in tons

38:09

of pain , have miserable relationships

38:11

, go to bed , pass out , wake

38:13

up and have to do it again . Nobody

38:16

enjoys that . Nobody enjoys feeling

38:18

like they have to sell their body or their soul

38:21

to get the next hit of drugs . Nobody

38:25

likes it . So the same with

38:27

us , our emotions . They're

38:29

not fun . They're

38:32

not putting us in a place of

38:34

being able to be more useful . They're

38:37

keeping us stuck in ourselves and

38:39

afraid and keeping us away

38:41

from genuine connection . Because

38:43

even if we get control of ourselves

38:46

and we stop making those feelings , everyone

38:48

around us is still making them . And

38:50

so , like they say , it's lonely at the top . Now , I

38:52

don't think of myself as at the top

38:54

of anything , because I just don't believe in that , but

38:57

when you do work like this , it can feel like

38:59

wow , who else is emotionally sober

39:02

? Who else isn't going to be

39:04

massively offended by things that I

39:06

didn't even mean or say you

39:10

have to be really ready , like

39:13

you said , brave people . That doesn't

39:15

mean that it's going to be an impossible endeavor

39:17

. It just feels impossible

39:19

right now because it seems like you could never be

39:21

different . It feels like I could never walk

39:23

into my boss's office and just feel good and

39:27

powerful and confident and kind

39:29

because you're right , it takes a lot of courage

39:31

to be kind , and

39:34

being nice is manipulation . Being kind

39:36

is being real , with self-responsibility

39:39

and self-control . So

39:41

if I'm loving you , you're going to experience

39:44

firmness for me . If

39:46

I'm truly loving you , I'm

39:49

going to have to be firm with you sometimes

39:51

, right

39:53

, I'll also be your greatest cheerleader and

39:56

biggest fan , right

39:58

, because I see

40:00

the real you and

40:02

you are so powerful and your

40:04

posture is different and your gaze

40:07

is different . Your voice is different

40:09

. My voice changed by the way . My whole physical

40:12

being changed , my body

40:14

type changed , my eye color changed

40:16

. I have a lot lighter eyes now .

40:18

So weird that's very

40:21

weird , super , super

40:23

interesting , but very weird

40:25

. But it makes sense because

40:28

you said that it's chemicals

40:30

. Yes , and it's totally…

40:33

. And look at the look

40:35

how people change when they

40:37

recover from addiction , of

40:39

an external addiction . Look how

40:41

, if you look at their picture , from the

40:44

day they enter rehab to

40:47

30 days out , 60 days out , whatever

40:49

the case may be , they're entirely

40:51

different people . So the fact that you say

40:53

that your physicality changed

40:55

, your posture changed , your voice changed , your

40:58

eye color changed , makes perfect sense . If

41:00

it's… Right , if

41:02

emotions are also releasing chemicals , it

41:05

makes… yeah , absolutely .

41:08

And that this is one thing is

41:10

I had experienced the 12-set

41:12

process in my 20s

41:14

and my stepdad

41:16

was always trying to get me to do it . I love him for

41:18

that , god bless him . But he

41:20

saw something in me that probably presented like

41:22

borderline personality disorder and he

41:24

was like huh , andrea , maybe you need some

41:27

help and I'm like no , I'm fine . And

41:31

one thing that I realized is

41:33

that there's a big difference between being clean

41:35

and being sober , and that was what I was

41:37

I recognized . What was missing from the 12-set

41:40

process is it was getting people off

41:42

of drugs and alcohol , but

41:44

there was more that wasn't being taught

41:46

, and that more that wasn't being

41:48

taught is the number one reason that people relapse

41:50

when they're just clean off

41:53

drugs or alcohol or when , even if

41:55

you're just clean off , maybe you go and

41:57

live at a cave somewhere so you're not triggered , you're

42:00

not fully , you're not actually sober . You

42:02

present as sober when you're chemically

42:05

clean under

42:07

any circumstance , meaning

42:10

emotionally clean and alcohol

42:13

, drugs , food , et cetera under any circumstance

42:16

.

42:16

Yeah , what you just said about that . The

42:19

first thing that came to my head was I

42:21

have been through lots of therapy

42:23

, lots of it . So

42:25

when you just said it that way , I'm

42:28

clean , I'm not sober , right

42:30

.

42:32

All of us . Unless you've been

42:34

doing discipline , training , all of you

42:36

, everyone , you're not alone . So

42:39

never feel shame about that ever

42:41

. There's no reason you could have known

42:43

and there's no way you could have fixed it . So

42:46

this is like for me . It's like

42:48

the most exciting news ever to receive . If

42:50

I was on , I'd be like whoa , I

42:52

get to get even stronger . I'm

42:55

already awesome . What else can I do ? How

42:57

much more of the real me can I

42:59

bring to the world and to my family and

43:01

to my friendships and into my

43:03

career ? And where else would I go

43:06

? It becomes this incredible

43:08

opportunity rather

43:10

than , oh my God , I'm broken

43:12

or I'm not good enough . It's not

43:14

even close . I

43:16

believe , when we know how to handle things

43:18

that we currently feel are impossible

43:20

, we aren't stressed

43:23

in a way that we used to be . Therefore , we don't reach

43:25

for alcohol , we don't reach for drugs in

43:28

the way that we used to . We don't defend

43:30

ourselves in relationships in the way that we used to

43:32

needlessly . We're not full

43:34

of toxicity . Stress hormones are the number

43:36

one cause of , I believe , cancer and

43:39

stomach issues and heart disease , so

43:41

we just don't have those anymore . When we're sober

43:43

, we have the ability

43:45

to be fully cleansed , as

43:48

well as level-headed , balanced

43:50

, peaceful and clear , we

43:52

can make better decisions . We suddenly know

43:54

there's actually a line

43:57

in the big book for AA . We

43:59

all of a sudden knew how to handle things that

44:02

once baffle us . So

44:04

that's what happens when we reach the level of emotional

44:06

sobriety , and the reason I started this talk

44:08

out by saying I thought I invented emotional

44:11

sobriety , or at least the name , was

44:13

. I did some research after my

44:15

book was written and

44:18

one of the main creators of the AA

44:20

movement was Bill

44:23

Wilson , and he

44:25

said he was near , I

44:27

think , at the end , late stages of his life

44:29

when he said this . But he said that he feared

44:31

the 12 steps wouldn't be enough and

44:33

that what people really need was control

44:36

over their emotional and mental states . What

44:38

people really needed was emotional

44:40

sobriety and I'm like okay

44:43

. So thanks , bill , for

44:45

assisting me in creating this curriculum

44:48

. Clearly you did from the other side . I

44:50

mean , it was so powerful

44:52

to read that my husband looked at me like he just saw a ghost

44:54

, but

44:56

it's powerful .

44:58

I think it's so amazing , and

45:00

I started out this conversation by saying that you're

45:02

literally trying to change the world . You're

45:05

trying to do it one person at a time . If people were

45:07

happier with themselves

45:09

, the world would not be the

45:11

messed up place that it is at the moment .

45:14

Yeah , if people knew how to handle anything

45:16

, they wouldn't

45:18

have any kind of reason to be upset . They'd

45:21

have faith and they'd have peace . They'd have understanding

45:24

for each other because we're all the same .

45:26

People wouldn't respond in

45:29

the way that people are responding because

45:31

, like you said , they would be emotionally

45:34

sober and they would be

45:36

comfortable in their own skin

45:38

and

45:41

not have to respond in these crazy ways

45:43

, like I got to defend myself here

45:45

, there and everywhere . I

45:49

mean , part of my other combativeness

45:51

is I'm always batting

45:54

down the hatchets . I'm gonna defend

45:56

myself . I got to defend my territory

45:58

because I have no idea where the next blow is gonna come

46:00

from .

46:01

Right , let me give you an example let's

46:04

say you , in our school , lifted

46:06

Academy , we actually have a PE or

46:08

physical education component , and this is a gym

46:11

that my husband's run for over 25 years

46:13

. He's the top strength coach in

46:15

the United States and he actually

46:18

would take you in and

46:20

he would show you where your weakest points were

46:22

and then he would show you specifically

46:24

how to train those weakest points , but in such a

46:26

way it was such a precise

46:29

and proven method that you would get so much

46:31

strong or so fast that you would be in a completely

46:34

different body within probably a matter of two or three

46:36

months , and in that body

46:38

you'd feel so safe . You would walk into

46:40

a room and you'd be like I'm

46:42

so safe right now , physically speaking

46:44

, if I got hit by a car right now

46:47

, I feel like I would be fine . I

46:49

mean , that's how strong you could get physically . You

46:51

could do the same thing emotionally . You

46:54

train emotionally . All

46:56

of a sudden , you walk in the room and you're like I'm here , so

46:58

everyone's good . I got

47:00

you , I got everybody , I've

47:03

got you mom , I've got you dad , I got you brothers

47:05

, sisters , kids , grown-up

47:08

kids , grandkids

47:10

. I'm solid . You

47:12

get to a place where you are so

47:14

strong emotionally and mentally , that

47:17

you have this internal peace and

47:20

strength at the same time that

47:22

allows you not to think about you anymore .

47:25

Whoa , okay , first of all , that just blew

47:27

my mind that you just said that , that you're so strong , you don't

47:29

have to think about you anymore , don't

47:31

?

47:31

have to think about you . Wow

47:33

, here's an example . I

47:36

had such a bad spinal injury . I didn't get surgery

47:38

. I could barely walk on my like

47:40

. I dragged my left foot behind me . I

47:42

couldn't sit down and stand up on my own for a

47:44

period of time . I mean I had three

47:46

ruptured discs . It was awful . I

47:49

should have gotten surgery retrospect , but I'm like I'm not doing

47:51

it . I'm like I'm gonna do

47:53

it myself . I gotta look at myself

47:55

. I got so physically strong

47:58

that I got to a

48:00

place where I didn't have to think about

48:02

me when I was with my patients in my

48:04

chiropractic office . I didn't have to think about my

48:06

posture or lifting them

48:08

or if they were too heavy I'd move them for

48:10

like without their help . I'd lift their legs

48:12

and twist them . I never thought

48:14

about me anymore because I was fine . I

48:17

was so strong . I didn't even have

48:19

to come into the conversation . Then

48:21

I got to a place with my emotional sobriety training

48:23

where now I didn't even have to think about me

48:25

. Emotionally speaking , I'm

48:27

just there . I'm literally just with you . Like

48:30

right now you could say anything to

48:32

me , and I'm just with you because

48:35

I have this deep understanding already that

48:38

my self beliefs are trained

48:41

. That doesn't mean that I don't still

48:43

have them in my subconscious . They're

48:45

just rewired and I've developed other beliefs

48:48

to be stronger than them . I could just be

48:50

with you and understand like , oh , this person hasn't

48:52

had training yet . The same way , I wouldn't be upset

48:54

with you if you couldn't lift as much as me at the gym . You

48:57

just starting , or you have no experience

48:59

in training at all . How could I ever judge

49:01

you for not having

49:03

that experience that I've benefited

49:05

from ? I'm

49:09

the lucky one .

49:11

I think you're an extraordinary one . The fact that

49:13

you created a

49:16

curriculum so

49:19

you can help other people , that

49:22

is magic . I

49:25

know you're going to say that no , that's not magic . It's hard

49:27

work , but it is because

49:29

you're putting a little bit of

49:31

magic into the world

49:35

and you're not keeping it a secret . You could

49:37

, you could absolutely keep this a secret

49:39

, but why would you ? Because

49:43

you gain nothing by keeping it to yourself

49:45

. Like I said , if the rest

49:47

of the world started to be more

49:50

in tune with

49:52

who they are and

49:54

what's holding them back

49:56

, and become

49:59

strong in spite

50:01

of it , we'd

50:03

all be pretty much unstoppable .

50:06

Well , that's actually the name of my third

50:08

book is Unassailable . You , that's

50:11

pretty awesome . Get to a place

50:13

where now I wouldn't call myself

50:15

unassailable . I would say that there are

50:17

places in my life that I still can

50:19

get hit in the heart . If

50:23

somebody were to leave my life , I'd be

50:25

like , oh , I'd feel sad . But

50:28

I don't have the same level

50:31

of childishness in terms of behavior

50:33

, the same level of embarrassment , the

50:35

same level of fear , and it's

50:38

almost obsolete in every

50:40

single relationship , except maybe my romantic

50:42

relationship , which sometimes it's still

50:44

slightly there . But man , that's

50:47

usually just when I'm exhausted from

50:49

working 15 hours a day or something like

50:51

that and not feeding myself enough or not

50:53

drinking enough water . You

50:55

have to just take care of yourself and

50:57

do the training and you are a completely

51:00

different human being , just a completely different

51:02

human being . That's why we have to teach

51:04

it on all four planes of existence physical

51:06

, mental , emotional and energetic , because if

51:08

one is missing , we are exposed

51:11

.

51:11

Yeah , makes perfect sense because we are a total

51:14

being mind , body

51:17

and spirit . When

51:19

you ignore one which , let's face it , we've

51:21

ignored one for a very long time

51:24

the rest of us it doesn't work

51:26

right . It just doesn't .

51:28

No , we get sick and we have dysfunctional

51:30

relationships and we're fighting with our kids . I've

51:33

not had one fight with my daughter . She's

51:35

almost 17 years old . Not

51:37

one fight , and not just because I'm . I

51:40

practice emotional sobriety , because she does too

51:42

.

51:44

What an amazing tool to teach someone

51:47

at a young age . Yeah , because

51:49

then you don't have to unlearn all the crap

51:51

that I have to unlearn .

51:53

Totally , and they have less practice being a jerk

51:55

that's what I always say Less

51:58

practice with self-deprecation . It's like they're just starting

52:00

when they're teenagers . But yeah

52:03

, I think you know in my curriculum it's

52:05

about . It's about a three month process that

52:08

you would go through and three months you're going to go by anyway

52:10

, right ? So it's like whatever you want

52:12

to do in your life , set a plan

52:14

, take three months and go after it

52:16

. And you know , find the right teacher

52:18

, find the right coach , get help

52:21

. Don't be afraid to ask for help . You're totally

52:23

worth it and I

52:25

just I wish the best for every single

52:27

person listening to this , because I wish you

52:29

freedom and I wish you peace . That's

52:31

really my whole goal . Take away the pain .

52:34

If this resonated with anyone

52:36

, I highly

52:39

encourage you to go reach out to Andrea

52:41

and her husband . They're incredible

52:43

people , they're doing amazing work and

52:45

all you want to do is change the world

52:47

. I mean , I know that's a lofty goal . I have the

52:50

same goal I want to change the world . They're

52:53

just doing it in the gifts that they've been given . So

52:56

, andrea , how would the audience

52:58

reach you if they had more questions ? If

53:00

they have have interest , intrigue

53:03

, just want to know a little bit more about

53:05

surviving emotional

53:07

insorviety and becoming

53:09

emotional sober .

53:12

Well , you could directly email me

53:14

and I will actually write you back . Most

53:16

people think I'm crazy , but I will actually do that and

53:19

you can email me at Andrea at liftedacademycom

53:22

. I would love

53:24

to meet all of you , and

53:26

I mean you literally can write hi , I'm in

53:29

certain name here and hit send and I

53:31

will respond and we can create a conversation

53:33

that way . It doesn't have to be fancy

53:36

. I get a lot of emails like that . We're

53:38

like hi , I just heard your podcast on

53:40

you know , and so I just want you

53:42

to know that you have a friend in

53:45

me and also I have a podcast

53:47

called level headed talk . I'm on every

53:49

weekend , weekday morning for my

53:51

students and people that are interested in learning

53:54

more about emotional sobriety , and I just have

53:56

level headed conversations with my friend , johnny

53:58

, who's my cohost , and we have a great time

54:01

Monday through Friday on any

54:03

podcast channel .

54:04

Please go seek her out , and

54:07

what you hear is exactly

54:09

who she is . We

54:12

met through social media . I

54:15

mean , social media is an amazing thing when it's used

54:17

for the right purpose , and that's how we met and

54:19

we immediately hit it off and

54:22

she is warm , she is grounded

54:25

, she will not

54:27

. She will not toss you aside , throw

54:29

you away or think you're crazy . She

54:31

knows that you have

54:33

value and you are worth it and she just wants

54:36

to help make things better . Andrea

54:39

, this has been amazing . We just scratched the surface

54:41

. We literally just scratched the surface . We

54:44

will , we will figure out ways to bring

54:46

, bring you back to discuss

54:48

so many more things . I

54:50

usually give a moment where

54:52

I step back from the mic and you can have a

54:54

very personal , intimate opportunity

54:57

with the audience , so I'm going to do that now . Just

54:59

leave them with a final thought .

55:02

Absolutely Everyone listening

55:04

. It doesn't matter what's

55:06

been done to you . It doesn't

55:08

matter what you've done . We're

55:11

all the same and you deserve

55:13

to be free .

55:16

I'm going to copy that , I'm going to paste

55:18

that on all social media , because everybody should take

55:20

that as a meme and put it on

55:22

your mirror , something , anything . Remind

55:24

yourself and thank you for reminding us of

55:27

that as well . We , we

55:29

so appreciate it and we need it . Andrea

55:31

, thank you so much for being here and

55:33

being my guest and seeking

55:35

me out . I mean , the best

55:37

people I have met have have found

55:39

me , and I'm so excited and I'm so grateful

55:42

. So , thank you , thank you for being here .

55:44

Aja , thank you so much for having me and for

55:46

all those sweet compliments , and you are such

55:48

a powerful , wonderful , devoted

55:50

human and I'm so grateful to

55:53

know you and I look forward to a long

55:55

friendship .

55:56

I do as well , and one of these days we'll

55:59

actually get to meet in person . It's

56:01

true ? Yes , we will do it . I

56:04

want to thank all of you for listening

56:06

and we'll see you again next time .