0:34

Welcome in everyone and thank you

0:36

so much for joining me again this

0:38

week . This week we have a

0:40

rare treat . This week

0:42

we get access to an Ivy

0:44

League education . My

0:46

guest this week is Dr Sheri Gilbert

0:49

, and she is a senior lecturer

0:51

in communications at Auburn

0:53

University . She's also the author

0:55

of the upcoming book Make it Happen a

0:58

guide to creating life you love and

1:00

not settling for the one you have , and

1:02

in her classes she

1:04

asked her students this question what

1:07

would it look like for you to create your

1:09

dream life ? What would

1:11

it look like , and is that something

1:14

that you ever contemplated at 22 ? I'll

1:17

bet it isn't . I bet it's something

1:19

that you think about all the time now . But

1:22

that's the journey that Sheri and I are going to talk

1:25

about today . It is my

1:27

pleasure and my honor to introduce

1:29

to you Dr Sheri Gilbert . Sheri

1:32

, thank you so much for being here and

1:34

welcome to the show .

1:36

Thank you , audra , thank you so much for having me

1:38

.

1:38

I am so excited to be here with you today

1:41

. Not only are you just

1:43

this amazing , energetic

1:45

individual , but you have a passion for

1:48

not only your students and education

1:51

, but for , specifically

1:53

for women to help them create

1:56

their dreams . What was the motivation

1:59

behind this idea

2:01

of creating this dream ? What

2:03

, of all things , why

2:06

that ?

2:07

Well , it really just came

2:09

from my own personal experience . I

2:12

felt like I had followed the path

2:14

that I was expected

2:16

to follow . After graduating

2:18

high school , I went to college

2:20

, I did internships , I

2:23

worked my way through college , then

2:25

I went to grad school and

2:28

got my first

2:30

job after grad school . But

2:33

I felt like is this , it

2:35

, is this all ? I

2:37

did all this work for this ? And not

2:39

that I didn't appreciate it . I appreciated

2:41

what I was doing and the opportunities that I had . I enjoyed

2:43

what I was doing , most

2:46

of what I was doing , but I felt like there was something

2:48

missing and there were still other

2:50

goals that I had that you know

2:52

I wanted to accomplish when I was in college . I

2:54

wanted to write a book , I wanted

2:56

to become an author , and

2:59

I just felt

3:01

like all of that kind of faded

3:03

away once I started working

3:05

and it felt like this is what I'm supposed

3:07

to do and I have to put everything else on

3:09

pause so that I can do this

3:12

. And I think it took some reflection

3:14

and , as with many of us during

3:17

the pandemic , to really kind of rethink

3:19

things and rethink what are we doing , what is

3:21

it that we're spending our time

3:23

toward and what

3:26

is the goal , and

3:29

so that is . Um , that was a

3:31

very reflective point in time for me to rethink

3:33

about those dreams that I had

3:35

years ago , and what would it

3:37

look like and what would it take for me to

3:39

get there .

3:41

So this is something that you started really thinking

3:43

about for yourself on , okay , I've done

3:46

all the things I'm supposed to do . What

3:48

are the things I really want to do Exactly

3:51

? What

3:54

are those dreams that I had , that I

3:57

had before I did all the things I was supposed to

3:59

do , and

4:01

can I dust them back off and

4:04

try and go

4:06

for it Exactly ? How

4:09

does that feel , by the way ?

4:10

Oh my gosh , it was

4:12

refreshing . It

4:15

was really refreshing and exciting because

4:17

even within this past year that

4:20

I've unearthed my dream

4:22

again of dusted off my dream of writing a book and

4:27

talking to people , interviewing

4:30

people , experiencing things , going out and experiencing

4:32

things , that I'll have some inspiration for my

4:34

book . It

4:37

kind of took me back to when I was in college and I did those internships

4:39

that were dream internships my

4:41

first journalism internship with

4:43

Upscale Magazine

4:46

and with the Entertainment Editor . I

4:49

had the time of my life and I made no money that

4:53

one cent . It was an unpaid internship

4:56

but it was the most fun . I

4:59

actually got to do something

5:01

that I loved . It

5:03

wasn't the type of internship where picking

5:06

up coffee or running errands

5:08

for people in the company . I

5:12

appreciated that because when I first interviewed

5:14

for that internship , the

5:17

editor of the magazine sat with me and told me this is

5:19

not going to be an internship where you're running errands , you're

5:21

going to be writing , which said to me you're going to be

5:23

doing what you love . I

5:26

was like this is great , whether I'm paid or not

5:28

. I had

5:30

the time of my life just

5:33

with that internship and with opportunities

5:35

that led up to that , the semester before

5:37

I actually had applied

5:39

for that internship . About

5:42

six months before I got it , I

5:45

planted that seed and

5:47

that's one thing I talk about in my book is you have to plant that

5:50

seed and sometimes when you

5:52

plant a seed or anytime you plant a seed there's

5:55

a germination process . It

5:59

may not come up and grow right then and there it's

6:02

going to take some time , but

6:04

I was very thankful that that seed germinated . I took steps

6:06

to prepare myself leading

6:08

up to that internship . Fast

6:12

forward to now with my book Make it Happen

6:15

. I'm

6:17

interviewing and talking to people who are themselves making it

6:19

happen , who

6:21

are living their dream lives , who have stepped out on faith and said

6:23

you know what this right here is good , but

6:25

I want something more . I'm

6:29

going to go after what it is that I really want and see where that lands

6:31

me , and just talking to those people reminds me of

6:33

doing those interviews and doing those write-ups

6:37

when I had that first internship where I wasn't getting paid anything

6:39

. That's

6:42

so exciting to me and I'm so inspired by

6:44

the stories and the people I've

6:47

had a chance to chat with

6:49

an interview for the book I can't

6:52

describe it . I feel like I'm in college again

6:54

in a way . So

6:57

it's very refreshing and it's exciting

6:59

to know that that past year , that passion

7:01

is still there . I feel like it

7:03

confirmed the direction that

7:05

I'm taking .

7:07

So what is your dream ? I know the book

7:09

is part of it , but what

7:11

is ?

7:11

your dream . I have many dreams

7:14

, audra . The book is a part of

7:16

the dream , but ultimately I

7:19

want to create a

7:21

life that I love . I

7:24

want to enjoy every aspect of my life

7:26

. I feel like for so long I

7:28

looked at career as

7:30

life , or the majority

7:32

of life , and in

7:35

my conversations with other people I noticed

7:37

that the career is mainly

7:39

what they talk about . But then

7:41

I got to thinking well , what

7:44

if your career doesn't go

7:46

too well ? Or you know what if you're not

7:48

satisfied in your career ? And I've had

7:50

periods of time and

7:52

certain jobs where I wasn't really satisfied

7:55

. But that's where I was spending most

7:57

of my time and that's where I

7:59

was spending most of my energy . But what I really wanted

8:01

to do was go sit with my family and talk and

8:03

listen to music . What I really wanted to

8:05

do was travel . What

8:07

I really wanted to do is spend time with friends

8:09

, plan a garden . There

8:13

are so many things that I wanted to do , but I felt

8:15

like work was just taking over

8:17

. I wasn't satisfied with that

8:19

. That really disturbed me

8:21

, because I was just looking

8:24

forward and saying , well , where am I going to be

8:26

in five years if this is it , if all

8:28

of my life is mainly career

8:31

. I don't want a

8:33

career to take over my life . It's

8:35

a part of my life , it's

8:37

an important part of my life and

8:39

one that I value and appreciate , but

8:42

I didn't want it to be all

8:44

of my life , and so that's

8:46

where I became obsessed

8:48

with this idea of how do I create a

8:50

life where a career is one part and I

8:53

can still manage and have these

8:55

other things that I enjoy and Wake

8:58

up and be happy every day .

9:01

I mean , that is the dream , isn't it is that we

9:04

are happy and fulfilled

9:06

and Energized

9:08

and challenged Throughout

9:10

our life . Okay , we can't just be

9:12

our jobs , absolutely not . At

9:15

one point in my life I used

9:17

to wear as a badge of honor the

9:19

phrase I am my job . And then

9:23

, as I've gotten older

9:25

and thanks to the pandemic

9:27

, I had time to slow down and

9:29

Really think and analyze

9:31

and decide do I really want to be

9:33

my job ? And

9:36

the answer is no

9:38

, I really don't , because that means me

9:40

that I'm single-faceted , that means that you're

9:42

single-faceted right . And we're not

9:44

where these multi-faceted , fascinating

9:48

, yes , dynamic , incredible

9:50

human beings that we weren't

9:52

just put here To go to work

9:55

, pay bills and die ? Not

9:57

at all . Oh , how dreadful . I

9:59

mean , doesn't that sound just so

10:02

dreadful ? Oh , my goodness , it's

10:04

boring . It's so boring

10:07

. Oh my gosh , anybody can do that , but

10:09

we weren't . None of us were born to be just

10:11

anybody , right ? So

10:14

you have this amazing book that's coming

10:16

out , and you

10:18

don't just stop at

10:20

the the amazing stories

10:22

of the individuals that are in there

10:24

, that are in the process of making it happen

10:26

. From what you and I have discussed , none

10:29

of them are like I'm here , I'm arrived

10:31

. All of them are like I'm in the middle . I'm

10:34

in the middle of making it happen and I

10:36

don't know how I'm gonna do

10:38

the next step , but I'm making it happen

10:40

. But you have given some

10:42

guidelines For those

10:44

that are like you know , sherry

10:47

, this sounds amazing and it sounds a lot

10:49

like me , but I'm so overwhelmed

10:51

and I'm so covered up I don't even know where

10:53

to start . But you , like I

10:56

, have inspiration . Yes

10:58

, and what ? Tell

11:00

us a little bit about that journey , of the inspiration

11:03

of walking through your

11:06

guests that come to you as a

11:08

, through your book that say

11:10

Sherry , I need help .

11:12

I'm glad that you asked that , because a part

11:14

of this book is is to tell the stories

11:17

about other people , but also for readers

11:19

to connect and to Realize

11:23

that they too can accomplish their

11:25

dreams . These are not just stories for for

11:27

other people . These are examples

11:29

, these are testimonies that provide

11:32

Confirmation that it's possible

11:34

, and sometimes that's all we need to see is that

11:36

it's possible . But I've also provided some

11:38

steps . It's called the prep approach

11:41

. I won't share all of the steps , but

11:43

I will share one that is my favorite

11:45

. So each letter in

11:48

prep PREP Stands

11:50

for it's an acronym for the tools

11:52

that I teach within this approach , and

11:55

my favorite one is the R

11:58

and R stands for relish

12:00

. What do you think of when

12:02

you think of relish ?

12:02

Oh , I think

12:05

I am just in

12:07

it . I am thoroughly enjoying

12:10

this experience , this meal

12:12

, this movie , whatever it is

12:14

.

12:15

I am in it and I am 100%

12:17

Vested in

12:19

whatever that is right in front

12:22

of me exactly , and

12:25

a lot of times , when we focus on our goals

12:27

and we're working towards something

12:29

, we feel like we've

12:31

got to work , like that's

12:33

all we got to do , we got to put all our effort and energy

12:36

into making this dream

12:38

happen , and we often times

12:40

Forget or

12:43

we don't allow ourselves rather to

12:45

enjoy and to relish

12:47

, and I think that's very important . I

12:50

think that you get a lot of inspiration when

12:52

you just take time To

12:54

relish , to sit back and enjoy the

12:57

present where you are , to

12:59

enjoy an outing , to enjoy a nice dinner

13:02

, maybe enjoy a short

13:04

getaway . There

13:07

was a point in time in my own life

13:09

, even with teaching , where

13:12

I would tell myself and my friends

13:14

if they would invite me somewhere oh

13:16

, I can't go , I can't do anything until

13:18

the end of the semester , and

13:21

that's 16 weeks . That's

13:26

four months to put off fun

13:29

four months , but

13:32

I was so again focused on career

13:35

. I gotta do this career

13:37

, career thing right . I've got to put my

13:39

energy into here . I and

13:42

I also started noticing other people

13:45

in my surroundings and colleagues who

13:47

weren't doing that . You know

13:49

they would do their job , but they would take

13:51

a trip , they would take a weekend

13:54

and go somewhere . And at first

13:56

I'm like , well , how could they do that ? Like we're in the middle of

13:58

the semester , we're

14:00

in the middle of testing and whatever's going on

14:02

. But then later on

14:04

I'm like , well , why wouldn't I do that ? Who

14:06

wouldn't do that ? You can't

14:08

stop your life just because

14:11

you're working for your

14:13

career , and so that was again

14:15

another thing that I had to figure out . Well , how

14:17

do I do career in life ? Like they should

14:19

be the same . It shouldn't be career over

14:21

here in my life , over here , waiting on

14:23

the sideline , waiting on pause

14:25

. It took me some time to work through

14:28

that and to be comfortable

14:30

with allowing myself

14:32

to relish . It's just so important

14:35

to enjoy , and we know

14:37

, especially in the past few years

14:39

, nothing is promised . Our time

14:41

here is not promised . Nothing here is guaranteed

14:44

. Nobody's obligated to do

14:46

anything . For us , time is just

14:48

precious and we have to

14:50

do everything we can

14:52

to maximize the time

14:54

that we have , to create a life

14:56

that we can look back on and

14:59

really be happy with .

15:02

You know , it's the only asset

15:04

that we have . We can't make more of . We

15:07

can make more money , we can get another job

15:10

, we can buy more stuff , we

15:13

can always get more of

15:15

anything but

15:17

time , but it's just

15:19

the one thing that we seem to make that

15:22

we take lightly

15:24

and

15:26

waste the most of . I

15:29

mean and I'm guilty of that too I mean how

15:31

many , how many hours

15:33

have you wasted playing on your phone

15:35

? My goodness , I

15:40

am guilty of that because it's a . It's

15:43

a . Probably most

15:45

people do it for the same reason I do is it's

15:47

a stress reliever ? It's a . It's a let

15:49

down . What else could

15:51

I do ? There's so many other things that I could

15:53

do with that time than playing

15:56

some stupid game on my phone that I never win .

15:58

Right , and it's okay to take a mental break

16:00

. You know , watch TV and , and

16:03

you know , do something just to kind of be

16:06

at ease and not have to think and

16:08

work and focus on something . But

16:11

you're , you're very right , that's very true

16:13

, in that you know , sometimes that can take

16:16

over and it can become a distraction

16:18

. That's another thing that I talk about with the prep

16:20

approach is elimination

16:23

. Elimination is what

16:25

the E stands for in prep , and elimination

16:28

is difficult . There are some

16:30

times that we have

16:32

people or situations or circumstances

16:34

that come into our lives

16:37

or in some way disrupt

16:39

our lives and we have to determine

16:41

okay , is this something

16:44

or someone who stays , or

16:46

is this something or someone who goes ? And

16:49

that can be an emotional and difficult

16:52

decision . But

16:54

again , you have to focus on what's best for you

16:56

and focus on what your ultimate

16:58

dream and goal is

17:00

. You know one thing I learned being

17:03

an educator , being a teacher , I feel

17:05

like I learned so much . I

17:08

wrote a grant to participate

17:10

in an active learning classroom

17:13

series of workshops . One

17:15

thing that I learned in there is very excited , because

17:17

at this point Auburn was getting ready to build

17:19

an attachment to the library that included smart

17:22

rooms , and so they wanted to prepare us for

17:24

working in that space

17:26

and also for active learning to

17:28

further engage our students , and

17:31

so during this workshop we

17:33

learned about Fink's backwards design

17:35

approach and this also

17:37

is some information that I learned through

17:39

my doctoral program at Auburn as well , in the

17:41

adult education program and

17:43

so the idea is that you take what

17:45

it is you want the students to learn , what is it that

17:47

you want them to be able to do and

17:50

take with them once they finish

17:52

your class , and then from there

17:54

you reverse , engineer the class to figure

17:56

out what do they need to do before that to get

17:58

that to that goal , and then what step

18:00

do they need to do before that step until

18:02

you get to the beginning of the course , and

18:05

then you have a full layout of

18:07

how the course should be structured

18:09

in order to achieve the goals

18:11

for that class . That was fascinating

18:14

to me . I had so much fun with that and I was

18:16

like , oh , my students are going to love this , but

18:21

really I did want them to love it . I

18:23

want my students to be able to have

18:25

something they can really take with them and that they can apply

18:27

to their lives , that beyond

18:29

just something that we learned in a textbook

18:32

and some keywords in a multiple choice

18:34

quiz . After a while , I

18:36

started to realize , well , this backwards design

18:38

approach could work in my

18:40

life . So I started

18:43

creating a syllabus for my life

18:45

and for my goals using that

18:47

same approach . What is it that I want to achieve ? I

18:49

want to write a book . What do I need to do before that

18:51

to make that happen ? What do I need to do before

18:53

that ? And so I started applying that to my life and

18:56

through that approach I

18:59

was able to gain some traction and

19:02

able to take steps that have allowed

19:04

me at this point to be

19:06

the upcoming author of a book . But that's just

19:08

, again , one thing that I've learned from from

19:11

teaching and just being open to experiences

19:13

and being open to learning . I never

19:15

wanted to be the type of teacher who

19:17

was the know it all or

19:20

who who wasn't open to learning

19:22

from my students . I learned so much

19:24

from my students , from other , from

19:26

my colleagues at the university

19:29

or speakers and guests who come in . I

19:31

think there's always something that we can gain and

19:33

learn and that can help

19:35

us in our own lives in various

19:38

ways .

19:39

So what you're talking about is

19:42

the journey . You

19:44

, while the goal is important , you're

19:48

saying let's focus on the journey

19:50

. Now that's backwards

19:53

to what our culture is

19:55

. Our culture is always

19:57

reaffirming to us it's

19:59

always the goal , it's always the end goal . Only

20:01

focus on the end goal . But

20:04

in my experience and I've learned this the

20:06

hard way that when

20:09

I got to the goal , it

20:12

wasn't fulfilling . I got there , but

20:15

I celebrated for a very

20:17

brief moment and then it was

20:20

okay , what's the next goal ? It's

20:22

taken a long time to figure out

20:25

that part of

20:27

the journey to the goal . The

20:30

important part is

20:32

the journey . So

20:34

how do you teach that ? I mean

20:36

, that's a completely different mindset . That

20:38

is not something that is

20:41

taught in industrialized

20:43

society . I mean , that's why we sit in rows

20:46

in classrooms , I mean , and why everything's so structured

20:48

. But it's backwards .

20:51

It is backwards . It's

20:53

backwards , but it's a part of that relishing again

20:55

. If we wait until

20:57

the end of the 16

21:00

weeks , the end of the semester

21:02

, to celebrate and

21:05

that's we have to think that far along

21:08

, you're gonna lose interest , you're gonna lose

21:10

engagement . You know it's hard

21:12

to get students to think about what's

21:14

going on the next day or the next week

21:16

. You know there's so many things that are going on

21:18

in the life of a college student just the

21:20

life of a person in general . So

21:22

to think that far , 16 weeks for the

21:24

end of the semester , it's way too

21:27

long . So it's a challenge

21:29

and I'm always experimenting

21:32

with things in the classroom to get students

21:34

engaged . I have activities

21:36

. We have impromptu , I think

21:38

of activities on the way to class , walking

21:41

from my car to the classroom sometimes

21:44

. I did one this past spring semester and

21:47

it was for my professional presentations

21:49

class , which is one of my favorite classes

21:51

to teach . It's like an advanced speech class but

21:53

it's fun and I

21:56

just walked in . It was a Friday . I like to do activities

21:59

on Fridays . I tell my students

22:01

at the beginning of the semester that every Friday

22:03

we're gonna do some type of activity to

22:05

kind of summarize and

22:07

conclude what we've talked about or apply

22:10

what we've learned throughout the

22:12

week . So it's usually something fun

22:14

. So for one I planned

22:16

an escape room . So there's in

22:18

a series of activities that the students

22:20

will have to do and it puts to use our

22:23

knowledge of verbal and nonverbal

22:25

skills . So it starts out nonverbal

22:28

and they have to basically complete

22:30

a crossword puzzle , but they

22:32

can't use any resources and it's based on

22:35

terms and concepts that we've learned in the course

22:37

and they have to complete that individually

22:39

, nonverbally , and

22:42

so they're different levels , so it's kind of like a game

22:44

. And then level two , still nonverbal

22:46

, but they can work with a partner . Level

22:49

three nonverbal , but they can work with the

22:51

class and they can use their resources . They

22:53

can use a book online . And

22:55

then , at the final level , they can

22:57

use verbal and nonverbal communication , their

23:00

resources , and as

23:02

soon as they finish the crossword puzzle , they're

23:04

free to go and I play

23:07

like spooky music , like they're

23:09

really trapped in the room , like you can't leave until

23:11

you finish this crossword puzzle , but just

23:13

things like that . And I know sometimes they look at me like

23:15

what is she talking about , like what is she doing

23:18

? But

23:20

they come back , they

23:22

come back and

23:24

but yeah , I just think that you have to be

23:27

creative , think outside

23:29

of the box , try something different . I walked in one

23:31

Friday and I said you know what ? I

23:34

want you all to come up with your own talk shows today . I

23:36

want you to get in groups and I want you to

23:39

come up with your own topic . And

23:41

I set some tables up in the front of the room and

23:44

in each of their groups they came up with

23:46

a theme , all types of things and

23:49

they led a panel discussion and

23:51

had like their own show

23:53

with whatever they wanted to talk about . And

23:56

I'd much rather them do that and have some fun

23:58

and let loose than

24:01

to have a speech with very

24:03

strict guidelines . Now

24:06

we do still have speeches with strict guidelines , but we

24:09

have a mix of activities so that they can

24:11

get comfortable with speaking

24:13

, so that they can get comfortable and

24:15

kind of relish in this process , in this journey

24:18

of learning . And

24:20

what does it feel like for me to stand up in the front

24:22

of the classroom and to be relaxed

24:25

and to talk about something I love

24:27

and to laugh ? I

24:29

want them to experience that , because

24:31

the more comfortable they are in that space

24:33

by the time they get up to give

24:36

that speech , the formal

24:38

speech . They'll be ready for it .

24:41

You're teaching them relish . I'm

24:44

teaching them relish I should rename the

24:46

class . Yes , you're teaching

24:48

them relish . You're teaching them to

24:50

enjoy the journey , and what

24:52

you're describing to me is that you are reinforcing

24:55

their ability to have critical thinking

24:57

skills , the ability to think

24:59

on their feet , the ability to

25:02

work with someone that they don't know

25:04

, that may be different from them , and

25:06

to communicate in ways that

25:08

they don't normally communicate . You

25:11

are teaching them how to relish

25:14

the journey . That's

25:16

what we need more of . I'm gonna

25:18

ask you I'm gonna put you back on your heels why

25:22

are you so audacious that

25:25

you ask your students to

25:27

create a life that they dream

25:29

of ? Because that is bold

25:32

, and I bet

25:34

no one has ever asked them to do

25:36

that .

25:37

I ask my students to think about

25:39

the dream

25:41

life that they would like to live

25:44

or their dream goal , and

25:47

I asked them that usually early

25:49

on in the semester , the first week of class

25:51

, because

25:53

I want them to get out

25:56

of the mind frame of

25:59

I'm here for

26:02

a speech class , you're

26:04

not just here for a speech class , you're

26:06

not just here for a grade . You have some goals

26:09

, you have some dreams , you have

26:11

something that you want to accomplish

26:13

and this is just one

26:15

step on the journey . This is going to help you and

26:18

I want them to make that connection between what

26:20

they're doing in this class and what

26:22

it is that they want to accomplish outside

26:25

of this class , because I

26:27

feel like if they can focus on that , they

26:29

won't be so nervous about this class , because they're gonna

26:31

be excited about their dream .

26:33

Because life is not linear . I

26:36

wish that I was taught that in college . That

26:38

life is not linear . It

26:40

is three steps forward , two steps back . Sometimes

26:43

you're going sideways , Sometimes

26:46

you're underground .

26:48

Have mercy .

26:49

Sometimes you are flying high , but

26:51

it is never , ever a

26:54

linear pace Never

26:57

. So you might as well enjoy it

26:59

along the way , but

27:01

we are so concerned about what's at the end

27:03

that we forget about what's

27:06

in the middle . And that's what I love

27:08

about not only your class and

27:11

what you're teaching your students , but

27:13

what you are pouring into your

27:16

book is . That's part of

27:18

it . It's you're

27:20

gonna fail . And , by the

27:22

way I should preface that the audience

27:24

has heard me say this multiple times I

27:27

don't believe in failure . I do not . I

27:30

think the only failure that there is in life is

27:32

not doing . That's

27:35

it . It's the only failure . Everything

27:37

else is learning opportunities

27:39

. Well , that way didn't work . I'll try

27:42

a different way , but I don't

27:44

believe in failure . I also

27:46

no longer believe in making and being afraid

27:48

to make mistakes .

27:50

Oh yes , and

27:52

that's so freeing .

27:54

Oh so freeing , that's so freeing

27:56

Perfection is boring and

27:58

exhausting .

28:00

And that's another thing I share with my students . Like you're

28:02

gonna make mistakes , I'm

28:04

gonna make mistakes . Nobody's

28:07

exempt from making mistakes . But

28:09

you know what ? We're gonna keep going . And I

28:11

ask them what are you gonna do when you make a mistake ? What

28:14

are you gonna do when you get up here to give your speech

28:16

and your mind goes blank , or you forgot

28:18

your laptop , or you trip up at fall

28:20

and face plant in front of the

28:22

room ? What are you gonna do ? What

28:27

are you gonna do ? Because we're not ?

28:28

perfect . No , I mean , the greatest

28:30

example of that is Jennifer

28:33

Lawrence at the Oscars . Oh my goodness

28:35

, she's a run and

28:37

Oscar , and she's

28:40

super excited and she's trudging up those

28:42

stairs in that big beautiful gown and she face

28:44

plants and

28:47

she gets up and she smiles

28:50

, yes , and gets the award

28:52

anyway Still

28:54

a winner .

28:56

You can still be a winner .

28:58

Still winner . She just face planted

29:00

on the way . If that is not

29:02

a great example of life

29:04

, nothing is . But

29:07

just get up and

29:09

enjoy the ride . My daughter

29:11

taught me the greatest

29:14

example of this . She

29:17

was at her university and she

29:19

was like most universities . They

29:21

don't allow cars on the university , so they're either biking

29:24

or skateboarding or

29:26

scootering . You're on a campus

29:29

, you know what they do , right , she's

29:31

skateboarding and

29:33

she hits a rock and

29:36

goes flying skids

29:39

the whole thing , you know

29:41

. And she does it right

29:43

in front of the volleyball team . Oh

29:45

, my goodness . And they're practicing and

29:48

they turn around and they're all concerned

29:50

. Everybody sees it . They all

29:52

concern , they all turn around . Are you okay ? She

29:55

stands up and

29:57

she does a pose Like she just finished

30:00

a dismount . I

30:03

love it . And

30:05

when she told me this

30:07

story , I smiled

30:09

and I said that is the greatest

30:12

thing I have ever heard you do and

30:14

she's like what , mom ? I was embarrassed

30:16

. I was like but you were

30:19

proud of that . You failed and

30:21

you fell and you got back up

30:23

and you're like I did it and she

30:25

got back up and

30:27

she owned it and she absolutely

30:30

owned it . So

30:32

that visual of her doing that stays

30:35

with me all the time , and so anytime

30:37

I screw up , I

30:41

absolutely give the dismount

30:43

pose .

30:45

Oh , my goodness , I'm going to remember that . I

30:47

think I want to do that . I want you to try the dismount .

30:50

Yeah , do it all the

30:52

time . I

30:55

want you to tell us the story

30:57

about the wedding with your students .

31:00

Yes , so no

31:03

one would ever expect a wedding at the end of a semester

31:06

. But one thing that I do

31:08

in my class professional presentations

31:10

, which is in advanced speaking

31:12

class is I have

31:14

my students for

31:17

their final . Instead

31:19

of taking a final exam , I have them

31:21

to create a program that

31:24

I've named the final toast , and

31:27

the final toast is a ceremony in

31:30

which the students come up with a theme and

31:33

they come up with speaking roles for each

31:35

person in the class . So every

31:37

single person has a role in

31:40

the final toast

31:42

. Everyone has a speaking role in

31:44

the final toast . So

31:47

I'm always excited to see what themes

31:49

they come up with , and for the past few years

31:51

they've kind of chosen similar themes . We've had

31:53

holiday themes , We've had a tacky

31:56

holiday sweater theme . We've had

31:58

a New Year theme . We've

32:00

had award ceremonies , We've

32:02

had a luau . This

32:05

semester my

32:07

students decided that they wanted to have

32:09

a spring wedding reception

32:11

, Last

32:13

thing I was expecting . But you know

32:16

I have a set

32:18

of rules on the rubric and I'm like

32:20

, as long as you can meet these

32:22

instructions and these requirements

32:24

, whatever

32:26

else you do , you know , within reason

32:28

, ethically speaking

32:30

, is fine with me . So

32:33

we go with the spring wedding reception

32:35

and they

32:37

chose a bride and groom . They

32:40

had parents of the bride

32:42

and groom . They had groomsmen

32:46

. They had bridesmaids . They

32:49

had , I think , like a party

32:51

animal , uncle Celebrity has

32:53

that uncle , I'm telling you . Everybody

32:59

has that uncle . But it was just so

33:01

interesting to see how they brought

33:03

their different personalities out in

33:05

these characters and they were still again

33:07

doing . What I wanted them to do was to

33:09

get up and speak . That's

33:12

the goal for this class is to build that confidence

33:14

. Before over anything else , I tell them

33:16

at the beginning of the semester my

33:19

goal for you is to build your confidence in

33:21

public speaking , not concerned about your grade

33:23

, great if you get an A , but I

33:26

want you to be confident when you get up

33:28

to speak . And

33:30

so they pulled it off . They got

33:33

dressed up , we

33:35

had flowers . We had fresh

33:37

flowers on the table table

33:39

coverings . They

33:41

actually contributed to a fun to get

33:44

catering from Chick-fil-A . And

33:49

it was a morning . Our final is scheduled by the university , so

33:52

ours was scheduled for eight o'clock in the morning , so it was a very

33:54

early wedding reception , but we

33:57

made do with our breakfast

33:59

offerings and they did such a great job

34:01

, had so much fun with it

34:03

and it was just . It

34:05

kind of was reminiscent of in

34:08

school an elementary school how you would have

34:10

an end of school year party . That's

34:13

kind of the idea that

34:16

I had with this . I want us to go

34:18

out with a bang . I want us to go out with a smile

34:21

and feeling like you've accomplished something

34:23

. You accomplished something that you thought was very

34:25

hard . Getting up to speak is very challenging

34:28

. That's very nerve wrecking for

34:31

anyone . It doesn't matter what

34:33

level you are . It doesn't matter if you're in a

34:35

leadership position or not . I've

34:37

seen people at all levels get nervous

34:40

and I've been there myself . I was terrified

34:42

of public speaking . I

34:44

don't tell my student . I do tell my students that

34:46

I

34:50

know now , but I was terrified of

34:52

public . I was so terrified of public speaking

34:54

that I transferred schools and

34:57

undergrad to avoid a

34:59

speaking engagement that I was obligated

35:01

to as a leader of an organization

35:04

I was in . I was that scared

35:06

, wow . I

35:09

ended up transferring back and I ended up

35:11

doing that speaking engagement . So , but

35:14

that was the level of fear that I had . So I know

35:17

, I know that it's , I

35:19

know that it's challenging and so many

35:21

people avoid taking a class like that

35:23

. So I always commend them just

35:25

for signing up and for showing up .

35:28

The reason why I asked you to describe that is because

35:31

you are making

35:33

it happen . It's not just the title of the book

35:35

, it's not just the

35:37

, the steps or the stories

35:40

that you are sharing . You are living

35:42

what you are doing and

35:44

you would openly admit you

35:46

are in the process , you are in the middle , you are

35:48

in the journey , but you are making it

35:50

happen . You are . You are bringing

35:53

your full self to

35:55

life , not just your job . But

35:57

what's beautiful about that is that you're bringing

35:59

your whole self to your job too . You're not leaving

36:01

parts of it at home Absolutely

36:04

, and you're teaching your students to

36:06

do that too . You're teaching them to dream

36:08

big , think outside the

36:10

box and not follow

36:13

this linear path that they think

36:15

they need to be or they

36:17

think they need to do . You've

36:19

given them this opportunity to think

36:22

that there are so many

36:24

things that are possible on this planet

36:26

. Literally , the only thing

36:28

that stands between you and that

36:31

is you when

36:33

you're making it possible . I know that your classes

36:35

is an advanced communication

36:37

class . It needs to be renamed . It

36:41

needs to be renamed . It needs to be

36:43

. Take this class if you want to

36:45

live a life that is worth living

36:47

. Because , I'm going to

36:49

teach you how to do it and

36:52

right . Tell me again when this

36:54

book comes out .

36:56

This book comes out this summer

36:58

, before the end of the summer 2023

37:00

. It's coming out and

37:04

I'm very excited about it and

37:06

I'm glad that you pointed that out about my students

37:08

. I think it's very important to be transparent in

37:10

the classroom . I think you have to

37:12

be , to some degree , authentic

37:16

and transparent in the classroom , because one they're

37:18

going to know if you're not and

37:21

they'll be able to

37:23

connect more with you if

37:26

they see that you are an

37:28

authentic person , if they see that you do

37:31

have dreams , if they see that you do have goals

37:33

in a life outside of

37:35

the classroom . You don't have to reveal every

37:37

aspect in detail , because they don't need

37:39

to be in all of your business , but

37:42

to show that , hey , I have

37:44

something that I'm really working toward . When

37:47

I decided I was going to work on this book and

37:50

I had the title , I had

37:52

the book cover and I was all in

37:54

and

37:56

from my family my students were

37:58

the next group of people to know

38:00

this is what I was doing

38:03

and we spend the

38:05

most time together . We meet typically

38:08

two to three days a week , and so there's

38:10

a lot of opportunity to talk and catch up , and

38:12

so they were some of the first people I

38:14

shared this news with that I was

38:16

writing this book and I introduced myself

38:18

to them as the author of

38:20

this upcoming book and before I could finish , they

38:23

started giving me an applause . And I wasn't expecting

38:25

that , but it was so encouraging

38:28

and

38:30

I'm just very fortunate and blessed to

38:33

be in a position

38:35

to teach and learn , to

38:37

give and receive within

38:40

the classroom .

38:42

That's how education should be . It

38:45

should be a mutual relationship

38:48

, Because they're spending

38:50

a lot of time and a lot of money to be

38:52

there . It should be

38:55

a well-rounded experience

38:57

. They should see their professors

38:59

as human and that they

39:01

are these well-rounded individuals

39:03

that aren't just university

39:06

professors , that they aren't just teaching

39:08

a class . They're not just trying to check

39:11

a box . And you're reaffirming

39:13

that with your students because you are

39:15

demonstrating to them that

39:17

it is never too late to

39:20

go chase some big crazy

39:22

dreams that haunt

39:25

you in the middle of the night . Oh , yes .

39:27

Because they never go away . I promise

39:29

you , they will come , they will track you down

39:32

in your sleep .

39:34

Oh , and it gets louder and louder

39:36

and it

39:39

literally grabs you by

39:41

the throat and says I am not

39:43

going away until

39:46

you do something about me . So

39:49

you can either continue to ignore me and

39:52

be miserable Right

39:54

, or you can chase me and

39:57

enjoy the journey along the way , and

40:00

you're not just giving them permission

40:02

to do this , you're giving them a roadmap . I

40:06

mean , that is a big deal and

40:08

, like I said , it is never , ever

40:11

too late to go and chase big

40:13

, fat dreams . Never too late

40:15

. And I know that your

40:17

passion is your students , but it's also

40:19

women , and

40:22

I hope , through this conversation

40:24

, that the women that we're

40:26

talking to , the women that

40:29

have those

40:31

dreams , that are just sitting there

40:33

, that are just permeating , and some

40:35

of them have reached the level of I'm roaring in your

40:37

ears , yes , and

40:40

I'm hoping that they

40:42

hear that you're living it too

40:44

and that they

40:47

can do it too .

40:49

You absolutely can do it . And

40:52

I'll just say you

40:54

must do it , you must

40:56

do it . You were put on a planet for a purpose

40:58

, right . And

41:01

also , I think sometimes we don't realize that our journeys

41:03

, us following our dreams encourages

41:06

others . It provides that

41:08

roadmap or that testimony for others

41:11

to see . Oh well , I can do this too . Like

41:13

, how did that happen ? How did she do that ? There

41:15

are a lot of things that have happened and I've realized several

41:19

instances , examples of things

41:21

that when I was younger , or even in college

41:23

or grad school , things that's like , oh

41:26

, that can never happen , but

41:28

it happened because I asked , I

41:31

asked somebody or I spoke up or

41:33

I took some step toward it . I

41:36

got to do a one-on-one interview with

41:38

Otis Williams , the founder of

41:40

legendary musical

41:43

group the Temptations . How

41:45

did that happen ? Yeah , how

41:47

did that ?

41:47

happen . How did that happen ? You

41:50

probably just asked .

41:52

I just asked . I was working on a project

41:55

. I have a music background , if you can't tell , and

41:58

I was working on a project in grad school and

42:01

a lot of my projects are somehow infused music

42:03

, incorporated music in some way

42:05

, and it was a communication

42:07

theory class . I wanted to do

42:09

an analysis of the Temptation

42:11

song Ball of Confusion , and

42:14

it just so happened that the Temptations were

42:16

performing maybe

42:19

30 minutes in a town down the road

42:21

from Auburn . I went to grad school in Auburn

42:23

as well . I

42:25

had no idea , I didn't know many people there . But

42:28

I just asked one of my coworkers . I

42:30

worked in the study hall in the athletics

42:32

department at Auburn and

42:35

one of my colleagues who was from

42:37

that area and

42:40

sat at the front desk and just very friendly

42:42

and just knew so many people around

42:44

. I just thought to ask her . I was like , would you

42:46

happen to know anyone who could get

42:48

me in touch with Otis Williams ? And

42:53

she said let me check and see I may

42:55

know someone . And before

42:57

the end of that day was out she gave me a call

42:59

and said she got in touch with someone

43:02

who got in touch with someone and

43:05

said what you'll need to do is

43:07

you need to show up at this particular

43:09

place at this particular time

43:11

and you will get to talk with him

43:14

. And I did everything I had to do . I

43:16

took off work , I put on the best

43:18

clothing I could put together

43:20

, the best outfit I could , I

43:22

got my little recorder , combed

43:25

my hair over and I

43:27

took off and I was there

43:29

at that spot at that time

43:31

and I got to talk with Otis Williams

43:34

. It was only one question , but that's all

43:36

that mattered . I got to talk with

43:38

him face to face and I grew up listening to

43:40

oldies . My parents are baby

43:43

boomers , so we kind of grew up in this capsule . I

43:45

feel like we grew up in this capsule of just

43:48

music , timeless music . In

43:50

our household I have a very

43:53

sentimental and close connection

43:55

to music , but particularly

43:57

oldies and those older groups

43:59

that were so legendary

44:01

. So it was just , oh my

44:03

gosh . I was elated that

44:05

I got to talk with Mr

44:08

Otis Williams , and all

44:10

just because I asked , All

44:13

just because I took a chance and asked .

44:15

So maybe chasing those big fat dreams

44:18

just simply starts

44:20

with asking for them

44:22

. You can't be afraid

44:24

to ask for help , oh

44:26

my gosh , sherry , I want

44:29

to go to Auburn and take your class . I

44:32

just want to take your class because I want you to

44:34

teach a class . You're

44:38

on , you're on . Oh

44:41

my gosh . I have thoroughly

44:44

enjoyed this conversation and

44:46

this amazing opportunity to talk

44:48

to you about chasing dreams

44:51

and being open to the possibility

44:53

of actually getting there and

44:55

enjoying the journey along the way . The

44:58

one thing you didn't say , but

45:01

we should affirm it now it's

45:03

not going to be easy . It's

45:05

never easy . It's not going to be easy Even

45:08

when you went to go speak to Otis Williams . It

45:11

was not easy , but

45:13

it was worth it .

45:14

It's definitely worth it . It's not easy

45:16

. You're going to stumble

45:19

along the way , it's going to take some

45:21

time , but I'm also a very

45:23

prayerful person as

45:25

well . I did grow

45:27

up in a Christian household and

45:29

I do believe

45:31

that there is a big God that I serve

45:34

. That is a big part . I mean , of course , we

45:36

have the method and I have the approach and everything , but that

45:38

really is central to making

45:40

it happen , from my perspective

45:42

, is having that faith in

45:44

a higher power who can

45:47

do any and everything

45:49

, who can do all things , and

45:51

all you have to do is have that faith

45:53

and plant that seed

45:56

, nurture it , sometimes

45:58

make sacrifices , eliminate

46:01

things that need to be eliminated , but stay true and

46:03

stay on that path and

46:05

you'll reach your goal .

46:07

This has been such an amazing conversation

46:09

. If the

46:11

audience would like to reach you , where

46:14

can they ?

46:14

do that ? Yes , Well

46:18

, I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone about the book

46:20

and if you want to reach me , you can

46:22

reach me at Sherry S-H-E-R-R-I-E

46:25

at the MakeItHappenBookcom

46:29

.

46:30

And your website is MakeItHappenBookcom

46:32

as well .

46:33

Yes , theMakeItHappenBookcom .

46:36

Oh my gosh , I cannot wait

46:39

to read these stories and

46:41

learn a little bit more about

46:43

you and the methods that you

46:45

go through and have teaching . You're teaching

46:48

these live to your students and

46:50

you are encouraging and

46:52

giving passion to these young

46:55

and next generation that

46:57

, hopefully , will be big dreamers and

46:59

not be afraid to chase them and not

47:02

be stuck doing what they think

47:04

they have to do and

47:06

incorporate what they want to do

47:08

. So thank you

47:10

for being a world changer and spending

47:12

some time with us today . I truly

47:14

appreciate it and I've enjoyed every single

47:17

second .

47:18

It's been my pleasure . Audra , Thank you so much for

47:20

this opportunity .

47:22

Thank you and thank all of you for

47:24

listening , and we'll see you again next time .