WARNING: This post is intended to be a mildly-entertaining time waster and is not woodworking related. This is probably similar to the warning on irons that they get hot.

I’ve been fighting a cold lately (if whining about it constitutes fighting it). And while I have lacked the energy to get in the shop, I have summoned enough energy to surf the web and stumble across video of some interesting new technology (sorry, no dancing robots this time). And you should know that I did it mostly for you… I know, I’m kind of a hero (it’s a pretty low bar these days).

First up, how many times have you taken that certain TPS Report and wiped a certain part of your body with it? (rhetorical) Satisfying? Yes. A little disappointing in that the smooth paper results in more of a smear campaign? Yes.

Well, no longer does “office politics” have to be so messy thanks to an invention called the “White Goat”. Take a look at the machine that now allows you to take your boss’s printed-out emails and turn them into something that is actually useful, in one simple step!

Next up is a new safety device for bicyclers who prefer not to wear helmets (that’s me! If brain damage were permanent I would rethink it). It’s basically an air bag in a scarf that deploys when it senses imminent doom (I wish I had that in my blogging software for when I go to publish a post like this one). It also makes a bold fashion statement when deployed as seen in the picture below on the left (Definitely would work in the Spaceballs fashion line. Picture below, Right.).

The selling point for this new safety device is the videos of it in action. I might just like these videos because I like laughing at dummies making fools of themselves (e.g. Jersey Shore, US Congress, etc…).

There are three different collision tests in this video. My favorite is when he does a header over the handle bars at around the 3:30 mark. They get a little multi-angle, slo-mo replay drunk so you might want to use that slider bar to jump around.

I wonder if that scarf could be outfitted with sensors for dust or projectiles. We could then hit the shop without having to think about safety gear. Dust in the air? Boom! You’re wearing a dust mask. A piece of wood flying at your eyeball? Boom! You’re face is now covered with a shield. How about your significant other talking before being spoken to? Boom! Gagged. (probably multiple triggers for Boom! Gagged). The practical possibilities are endless.

Lastly is something that every little boy that has ever fried an ant with magnifying glass would love to have, a homemade solar death ray machine (Dear Universe, I fried ants before I understood the notion of Karma… Ohhh, and while we are talking, can you make up your mind on Pluto. Is it a planet or not? You’re really screwing with our heads down here).

Here’s to hoping that the kid that created this machine doesn’t become interested in nuclear physics… you will understand once you see his particular “scientific method” in action.