0:00

Hey friends . So one of the things that is an underlying

0:02

kind of core principle and something that is

0:04

subtly taught inside of everything

0:06

I teach in regards to time management and planning

0:08

for women is the idea

0:11

and the core principle that

0:13

we all deserve to plan and prioritize

0:16

time in our lives

0:18

for the things that are important to us , for our

0:20

goals , for our dreams , for our desires , and to not

0:22

put things on the back burner . Along

0:24

with that is also the recognition that

0:27

there's no , there's no time limit

0:29

, there's no point in life in which we

0:31

ever need to say , well , I guess I can't do

0:33

that anymore . And that's really one

0:36

of the messages that I have here today inside

0:38

of the Work Life Harmony podcast with

0:41

the best guest ever , my

0:43

mom , because you're going to hear about her new book

0:45

that she has just published as

0:47

she's approaching her 80th birthday and

0:50

the journey of getting there Along

0:53

with a really powerful message from her as

0:55

well , and you're going to see why , growing up

0:57

, I never felt like I

0:59

had to put limits on my life when you get to hear

1:01

about all the things my mom has done . So I'm

1:04

excited to reintroduce my mom

1:06

to all of you here today . Welcome

1:11

to the Work Life Harmony podcast . I'm your host

1:14

, megan Somerle . I'm the creator of the top program

1:16

and top planner teaching all things

1:18

time management , organization and productivity for women . I'm

1:21

also a mom and wife and , just like you , I'm

1:23

juggling hashtag all the things while

1:25

running multiple businesses and a family . Guess

1:28

what ? You don't have to feel constantly overwhelmed

1:30

, exhausted and stressed out . There is another

1:32

way . When you have the right systems

1:34

and tools to plan and manage your time , you

1:37

can live a life of harmony . This is your

1:39

show to learn from me and other amazing women

1:41

how to master your time , planning an

1:43

organization to skyrocket

1:45

your productivity so you can have work life

1:47

harmony . If you're ready to stop feeling

1:49

overwhelmed , this is the show for you , and

1:52

if you're new here , I'd love to get you started with

1:54

my work life harmony assessment . All you have

1:56

to do is DM me on Instagram at

1:58

Megan Somerle with the word harmony

2:00

and my team will send it right over

2:02

. Hey

2:05

, everyone , welcome back to Work Life Harmony

2:07

. I have , hands down , the

2:10

best guest I was about to say

2:12

the best guest I've ever had on the show , but I've actually

2:14

had her on the show before , so it's just

2:16

a repeat . So thank you for being

2:18

here , mom , I'm delighted Today

2:22

we're going to take a little bit of a pivot from our

2:24

usual really tactical , pragmatic

2:26

tip strategies and all of that on

2:29

planning and saving time . But

2:31

this really is focusing for me on

2:33

the conversation of the harmony part

2:35

of life , and

2:38

I know so many of us as

2:40

I shared . I recently turned 50 . The

2:43

older we get , it's almost like we feel like

2:45

we'd get more and more disconnected from

2:48

our dreams , our desires . We think we've

2:50

missed the window to do amazing things , and

2:52

so I wanted to have my mom on today because

2:55

she has been an amazing example

2:58

for me on

3:00

ages , just a number and

3:03

we have tons of time to

3:07

do the things that we desire to do . So

3:09

again , welcome to the show , mom , thank

3:11

you , I'm delighted to be here . So the

3:13

big news that we have to share is

3:15

and the timing of this that

3:18

I wanted to record this now here today . Can

3:20

I share about your birthday ?

3:21

Yes .

3:21

Okay , well , some people are funny about . So

3:24

my mom is about to have a big milestone birthday . She

3:26

is turning 80 . And here

3:29

we are just a few weeks before

3:31

her birthday and her second

3:33

book was just published

3:35

. I want you to sit on that for a minute , right

3:38

? We don't usually hear about

3:40

, I know I would certainly never have considered

3:42

for myself of doing something big and huge and

3:44

amazing at that age . So , mom

3:47

, I would love for you to first share

3:49

but kind of your background

3:51

about writing , your passion for writing when

3:54

you got into writing .

3:56

Well , I think I've always enjoyed

3:58

writing . I can remember

4:00

as young as first grade writing

4:03

what I thought would be a book which was three

4:05

pages long and it had something

4:08

to do with a mouse . I'm a little unclear on

4:10

it now . Do you still have ? No , I don't

4:12

, oh , shoot , I don't . But

4:14

I remember being very pleased at the end that I had this book of

4:16

three pages . And I've also got

4:18

tired of it and I stopped . So I've

4:20

always enjoyed writing , but

4:23

I think maybe I got serious

4:25

about it after I

4:29

had a class my freshman

4:31

year in college and

4:33

the English professor was wonderful and he said

4:35

you can't write a paper or

4:37

anything until you learn to write a paragraph

4:40

. And that's

4:42

all we did all semester was read

4:44

a poem and then write a paragraph

4:46

about it . And the final exam

4:49

was a point that he put up on the blackboard

4:51

and we had to write one paragraph

4:53

about this point and

4:55

the exam . They left four hours for it and

4:57

not one of us left the room before the four

5:00

hours was up . Exam was one

5:02

paragraph , but

5:04

it made me realize that every

5:06

single word is important and

5:08

you have to have a vocabulary to be

5:10

able to express those words . And

5:13

that was sort of the beginning of , I think , my

5:15

great desire to write Now

5:17

, did you ?

5:17

know at that time you wanted to write a book .

5:20

No , I started out with short stories

5:22

. Quite frankly , life

5:24

was confusing and you married and

5:26

you have a husband in the Marine Corps and

5:28

three children and a short story was what

5:30

I could sort of compass . So

5:32

it was a while before I thought about a book .

5:35

Do you remember what age range you were when you

5:37

thought I think I'd like to write a book ?

5:41

Probably in my 40s , and I'm glad the first

5:43

book wasn't published , though I tremendously

5:45

desired that it be so but I look at it

5:47

now and I think , no , this wasn't

5:49

good enough . I realize

5:52

what you have to bring to your writing is

5:54

experience , and

5:56

the first book that was published really

5:58

came out of my experience .

6:01

So we're going to come back to the first book that

6:03

was published , because that was about 14

6:06

years ago . When did

6:08

you start writing this

6:10

book , the new book that just came out

6:12

?

6:12

Well , I've been at this probably for 15

6:15

years . It's a memoir

6:17

and things would sort of recur

6:19

that one had forgotten about , or something

6:22

would happen in life and I'd think , oh , I

6:24

remember about that .

6:26

I thought it . I think it's been longer than it may

6:28

be , but I still remember reading . I

6:32

think I started reading some of that before I moved

6:34

to North Carolina . That's been 20 years

6:36

.

6:36

Okay .

6:37

Well , it might be that long . Okay , so

6:40

you were working on this book . Did

6:44

you go down the process of wanting to get this

6:46

book published before now ?

6:48

No , I haven't . And

6:51

then I got sort of off on the other book

6:53

and this

6:55

book was really just a desire to write

6:57

a thank you note to my grandparents and

7:00

that's why it started , because they were three very

7:03

fabulous people . And it

7:05

just started and I wrote it for the family and

7:08

the other book I really hoped

7:10

would be published .

7:12

So let's go back to your first book

7:14

, which is for Country and Core

7:16

. What , when did

7:18

you know you wanted to write that

7:20

book ?

7:21

Well , I retired from my full-time

7:23

job and I really had at it , and

7:27

my grandfather about this was 50s

7:29

. Well this was

7:31

, I would have been probably

7:34

yeah , 55, . I think

7:36

.

7:36

Yes , I think about 55

7:38

or 60 .

7:40

And I spent three years of research on the book

7:42

. I had letters

7:44

from my grandmother and grandfather . I had

7:46

stuff that he had put down in the Marine

7:48

Corps Library . I spent three years doing

7:50

research and because

7:52

it compassed his entire lifespan

7:55

, I had to know about World War

7:57

I because he was in it . I had to know

8:00

about Haiti because they were stationed

8:02

there . So it took quite a bit of research . But

8:05

also I knew him . I

8:09

had lived in his house and I

8:11

knew him very well , so that it sort of came out of my experience and

8:15

I could write about him in a way that

8:17

I think was as honest as it can be when you're

8:19

a granddaughter .

8:22

So for those you know a lot of

8:24

people probably aren't that up on military history who was your great

8:26

grandfather , who was your

8:29

grandfather , so that they understand

8:31

the importance of that book that you wrote

8:33

.

8:33

My grandfather retired as a four-star

8:36

Marine general . He led

8:38

the Marines in the Korean War . Probably

8:42

people might have heard of the landing in Incheon

8:44

he was running the First Marine

8:46

Division then the recapture of

8:48

Seoul . He was in charge of the First

8:50

Marine Division then and

8:52

then the battle that resonates with Marines

8:54

is the Chosun Reservoir , where they were

8:56

pushed up into North Korea and

8:59

had to fight their way out as

9:01

the Chinese entered the war . That's

9:03

probably what he is most famous for .

9:06

Now just to give you all some perspective

9:08

on that book . So I

9:10

can remember going to

9:12

the big book launch for that

9:14

and I was about

9:17

one month out of being pregnant

9:19

with my daughter , which is—that's

9:21

why I remember the timing of it so well

9:23

the book is available still

9:25

. You can go out on Amazon for Country and Core

9:27

and are

9:30

you willing to tell everyone—because you're probably not going to brag

9:33

about yourself—what General Mattis

9:35

had to say about this book ?

9:36

Well , general Mattis , who was a great reader

9:38

and is known for his library , put

9:41

it on one , the list of his

9:43

top . I think it was 30 books . No

9:45

, it was in the top 10 . Top 10 , was it ? Yeah

9:47

, I knew you were in top . I

9:51

don't know which . I was glad , and he spoke

9:53

about learning about leadership

9:55

from it , which is something that my grandfather

9:57

was known for .

9:59

Now one of the things , as your daughter

10:01

and as a woman , that

10:03

I love about everything

10:06

related to that book . Can

10:09

you say that there is another military-focused

10:13

book written by

10:15

a woman that was not in the military

10:17

?

10:19

No , and every review of the

10:21

book started in spite of the

10:23

fact , but I

10:25

did write it so that anybody

10:27

could understand it . If you

10:29

don't know what a blatoon is , you'll know if

10:31

you read the book . If you don't know how a division

10:34

is organized , you will know when you read

10:36

the book . I wanted everyone to

10:38

appreciate what was involved , and I think

10:40

that's what I could bring to the table

10:42

as a woman writing about this .

10:44

Yeah , so I'm going to be unfeminine

10:46

in front of you . It makes my mom

10:48

a total badass , in my opinion , along

10:50

with my sisters and my dad . We

10:52

all agree . So

10:54

let's talk about this new book that

10:57

has just come out . What is it called ?

10:59

It's called the Smallest

11:01

Tree in the Forest and the subtitle

11:03

is Growing Up with Grandparents and

11:05

what inspired you to write this

11:08

book ?

11:08

What kind of spoke to you to put this together

11:11

?

11:11

Well , they were wonderful people

11:13

. My

11:15

father was killed in World War II

11:17

and so I was raised

11:20

mostly by my mother . But we lived with

11:22

my grandparents quite a bit and

11:24

because she was a working mother which nobody

11:26

was in the 50s I spent every

11:29

summer with them as well . So

11:31

I had a lot of time with them and

11:34

I just it began as a thank you note

11:36

and then I realized

11:38

I wrote down all the happy times and

11:40

the happy memories and I realized

11:42

suddenly halfway through

11:45

it that you don't recognize the

11:47

sunshine unless you have

11:49

the shadows as well . So

11:51

at some point I was able to add

11:53

some of the things that happened to me that were less

11:55

than optimal , that they helped

11:58

me through , and I think my message

12:00

in this was you

12:02

don't have to know everything about

12:04

somebody , you can just be good

12:07

and that's helpful . And

12:10

I realized they had no idea what

12:12

was going on in my life , but they were a

12:14

real wellspring

12:16

of joy and solidity and so

12:18

on to me , and that was

12:21

the purpose of the book .

12:23

Did you have any old materials

12:26

that you pulled from to remember some

12:28

of the stories that you shared ? I mean , you go back . One of

12:30

my favorites is the writing

12:32

of the tricycle At age four . You all are going

12:34

to love that one . Are

12:36

these just moments that popped into your head

12:39

, or did you have a methodical way of

12:41

pulling together ?

12:42

No , they were moments that popped in my head and

12:45

I think I do remember . There

12:48

are people that don't remember and I'm

12:50

a rememberer , so I do have , but

12:52

in some cases I'll say after

12:54

that I don't remember . I have

12:56

little moments that shine from my

12:58

childhood . Obviously , as you get

13:00

older you remember more consistently

13:03

and

13:05

maybe pictures helped a little

13:07

bit too .

13:08

Yeah , there are beautiful photos in the book

13:10

. You will definitely

13:12

the family remember

13:14

our photos . It was alarming to me to see young

13:16

pictures of you , and I see my

13:19

daughter's face in them . I see my niece's face

13:21

in them , I see my sister's faces in them

13:23

. Now , when would

13:25

you say you really dug in on knowing

13:29

you wanted to complete this book

13:31

?

13:32

I think I got pushed into it by my children

13:34

.

13:36

For half . No Well , we pushed

13:38

you into the publishing , but when ? Did you

13:40

really say no , I want to

13:42

go back , because you kind of had this on pause for a little

13:44

while I did .

13:46

I did send out letters to publishers

13:48

. Well , you can't get to a publisher

13:50

, you have to have a literary agent . I

13:54

have a whole filing drawer of this does

13:56

not meet our needs at this time , typed

13:58

by some secretary and signed by I don't

14:00

know who . The nicest comment I

14:02

got was I like the title , but that's

14:04

as far as I got . This was after

14:06

I'd had a book published which I thought would

14:09

open doors for me but

14:11

it didn't seem to in

14:13

the New York publishing business . That did

14:15

you think about just . Thing forget it . No

14:20

, I kept working at it . I

14:22

kept thinking there's something here . My solution

14:24

at first was to just type it all up and put

14:27

it on a Loose Leaf Finder . One

14:31

of my daughters just said I don't want a Loose Leaf

14:33

Finder , I want a book .

14:34

That wasn't me . Is that what that one was ? That was not me . That

14:36

said that . No , we all bought it .

14:38

We all but this daughter knew how to get

14:41

somebody that knew how to do it . What's

14:44

happened since ? The difference between

14:46

my first book and my second is the publishing

14:49

industry has changed . The

14:51

first book , if you were self-published , you couldn't

14:53

get an ISBN number , which is what

14:55

puts you into the Library of Congress . Now

14:58

you can . The publishing business

15:00

has really changed in the last 10 years

15:02

or so . What was the ?

15:04

final push decision

15:06

, etc . To make you say , okay

15:09

, I'm going to publish the book .

15:10

I think my pushy daughters , but

15:13

they just said they come in a book .

15:15

They lead on that , I think , well , I

15:17

think we all cheer a book .

15:19

I think , you know , I've suddenly realized , yes

15:21

, this would be nice to have it in book form

15:23

. And you know , and I

15:25

felt I had finished it , I

15:27

had it quite maybe three

15:29

or four chapters in the last year and

15:32

I looked at it and I thought this is done , I'm

15:34

done , and I sort of made

15:36

the point here and just

15:41

celebrated the fact that

15:43

really it sells

15:45

trite but in the end love conquers all

15:47

and that's the purpose of the book .

15:50

You just answer . My next question is what

15:53

do you hope people will get

15:55

out of reading this ?

15:56

Well , I think , for one thing , if you're a

15:59

grandparent , you realize you have

16:01

a lot of impact . You're somebody

16:03

that knows this child , but

16:05

not in the I have to correct their table

16:07

manners sort of way . You know

16:09

them . You can take them to museums

16:11

, you can see them on the side . Sometimes

16:14

you know things about them that

16:16

their parents haven't recognized

16:18

, that you have something to offer this

16:20

child , and certainly my grandparents

16:22

did , and all three of them offered

16:24

different things to me and

16:27

they were all important . So

16:30

I think that as a grandparent , you realize

16:32

you can have an impact on people

16:34

, and I think for others

16:36

it's an idea that include

16:39

family and your children's lives , because

16:41

they do add something to their lives , no doubt

16:43

about it .

16:46

So good . And for

16:48

those of you that I get questions sometimes

16:50

when I'll share stories

16:52

in my life on things

16:56

that would maybe be considered a failure or things

16:58

that didn't work out well , and people

17:00

ask me well , how do you keep going ? And

17:03

hopefully , hearing my mom talk

17:05

today , you know the answer

17:07

to that . I've had , and

17:09

still have , an incredible

17:11

role model in my life

17:13

that

17:16

shows me there's no time

17:18

limit on our dreams

17:20

. There's no expire

17:23

time to pursue things that

17:26

we love , and sometimes

17:29

it can feel like an uphill battle . I

17:32

know it wasn't easy for you when you weren't getting

17:34

the letters back from agents and all

17:36

of that , and you still kept

17:39

going . So I

17:42

just want all of our listeners to

17:44

hopefully take a couple things out of

17:47

this . Again

17:50

, the window's not gone . You're never too old . If

17:52

you're in the trenches right now with young

17:55

ones and all the things , it

17:57

doesn't mean that you will never

17:59

do the thing . And

18:02

secondly , I hope you

18:05

get an understanding into why

18:07

I treasure

18:09

my relationship with my mom and how

18:11

fortunate my daughter is to

18:13

have you as a grandmother , because

18:16

you are doing for her what your

18:18

grandparents did for you . Well , I

18:20

hope I am . I hope I

18:22

am . Thank you so much , mom , I

18:24

love you .

18:25

Well , thank you too , it's a pleasure .

18:29

Getting on top of all things time management

18:31

, organization and productivity doesn't have to

18:33

stop just because this episode is over . If

18:35

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18:37

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18:46

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18:48

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18:53

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18:55

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18:58

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19:00

while you're there , don't forget to leave a five-star

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review . What's your panning morning

19:04

like ?