0:01

We are one week away from the start of the

0:03

NFL Draft, and I cannot wait to see

0:05

who the Watchton football team kicks. It's legit

0:08

my favorite time of the year because it means football.

0:10

It's almost back. I'm gonna keep saying it until

0:12

it's here. I'm Dave Kenny and joining

0:15

me. It's seven and Jokana Jane Damiel's and

0:17

this is the Wild brought to you by frush Mine.

0:20

We're gonna keep taking advantage of having

0:22

a little more time with our guests, so we're gonna just go ahead

0:24

and jump right into our wild spotlight

0:27

for today's show. Joining us

0:29

is Kathy roth Duque. She's an

0:31

advocate for the role of the military

0:33

in civil society. She is an author,

0:36

nonprofit leader, attorney and government

0:38

former government official, and the CEO

0:41

of Blue Star Families, which is the largest

0:43

chapter based nonprofit organizations

0:46

serving active duty of all branches, Guard

0:48

in reserve, wounded and transitioning

0:50

veterans and their families something that we definitely

0:52

need. Blue Star Famili's mission is to

0:55

strengthen military families and our

0:57

nation by connecting communities and foster

1:00

leadership to millions of people.

1:02

Kathy, we are so excited to

1:04

have you on our show today. Welcome, how

1:07

are you. I'm great, and thanks

1:09

for having me with you all. I'm really excited to

1:11

be with you. Yes, most definitely,

1:13

and we are rocking like this whole red

1:16

and blue. We're missing the white

1:18

thie, but red, white and blue, that's what today

1:20

is all about. Will be our smiles.

1:24

Yes, we

1:28

were reading over your bio and it's just so

1:30

so impressive, and so we really just wanted

1:32

to kick off the show today if you could just share

1:35

with our listeners a little bit about

1:37

who you are and your journey. Yeah,

1:40

you know, my life right now is

1:42

supporting military families. But that

1:44

was something that was really foreign to me growing

1:47

up. I wasn't from a military family.

1:49

I didn't know anyone who served. I went

1:51

out and I did my own life. I was in

1:54

politics, I was in government.

1:56

I worked in the foundation sector, had

1:59

a lot of lamborous experiences. I

2:01

worked for a presidential campaign. My

2:03

candidate was Bill Clinton. He won.

2:06

I went to the White House with him. It was and

2:08

then I traveled around the world with him and it was really

2:11

terrific. But

2:13

he had this helicopter pilot for Marine

2:15

one, very cute guy,

2:17

and I married him. Good

2:20

for you, I love it, yeah, exactly.

2:23

And then my life changed. And you

2:25

know, shortly after we got married nine

2:28

to eleven half and suddenly I was

2:30

living with a community that was doing a

2:32

very heavy lift for our country. And

2:35

it was tough. And the war we thought it was gonna

2:37

come and go, but it didn't. It didn't end, and it just

2:39

kept going. And the service members

2:42

and their spouses and the kids that we

2:44

were raising, you know, it's

2:46

a it's a huge honor and it's it's

2:48

it's kind of awesome to serve your country,

2:51

But there are things about it that were harder than

2:54

they needed to be, and they were hard in

2:56

ways that really made us worried. Are we taking

2:58

care of our families the way we have to?

3:01

Because you love your country, but you love your family

3:03

too, and you can't serve one if you're hurting the other.

3:05

So what can we do? Right?

3:08

Can we tell this story to people

3:10

who we no care but they just may not have

3:12

a window into our lives, so that we

3:15

can do things better, so that we can do both,

3:17

so that we can serve and see our families

3:19

thrive, like everyone wants to do

3:21

that, and and so that's that's where the organization

3:24

came in. Honestly, it grew bigger

3:26

and faster than I ever imagined

3:29

it would. It kind of became my life's mission

3:32

and that took me to where

3:34

we are now. That is awesome, you

3:37

know. So for then you, besides marrying

3:39

your amazing husband, would you say

3:41

that specific moment in your life that made

3:43

you a champion for our US military

3:46

and their service was nine to eleven or

3:48

the war that ensued afterwards. Yeah,

3:51

definitely. In fact, I think we would have transitioned

3:53

out of the military, you know, having done

3:55

a good job, you know, check that block,

3:58

move on with our life, you know. But

4:00

but nine to eleven created a need, and when there's

4:03

a need, you got to respond. I'm

4:06

going to speak for all of us, but we were

4:08

all former cheerleaders with Quashing football

4:10

team, and we were fortunate enough to many military

4:13

tours and and I'm going to

4:16

speak also for the demographic in the area that we

4:18

are in with it being such a military area

4:20

and wives obviously in the support. So

4:23

I want to ask, you know, that's such a huge

4:25

role that you play, and we say a lot when, especially

4:27

when we've been on tours that you know. Obviously

4:30

it takes a lot for the servicemen and women to be over there,

4:32

but also takes a very strong and courageous

4:34

and brave family to be selfless and to

4:36

give out support. So, as

4:38

a wife to a military serviceman,

4:41

can you give any advice for any

4:43

women mothers that are also trying,

4:46

you know, to be the support at home, or

4:49

women that are overseas as well. Yeah,

4:52

for sure. First of all, seek help.

4:55

No one expects you to be strong all

4:57

on your own and solve every problem

5:00

that comes your way. In fact, a lot of the problems that are

5:02

coming your way, whether you're a military

5:04

spouse or whether you're just a human

5:06

being, there not problems you yourself

5:09

can solve. There's systemic problems,

5:11

and you have to get together with other people and

5:14

tell your story so that you can bind

5:16

together to solve them. When you know.

5:18

I'll give you a little example. When the

5:20

Navy decides it's going to move families in October

5:23

because that's convenient for their their

5:26

fiscal year. That takes the kids

5:28

out of school in a way that really damages

5:30

their school. If you're an individual parent, you

5:32

can't solve that problem. The most you can

5:35

do is try to decide, am I going to separate

5:37

from my husband for early or for

5:39

a year because I don't want to interrupt my kids' education,

5:42

or are I going to try to play catch up? But if

5:44

you band together, you could say, Navy, stop

5:47

doing that. It's bad for us. Yeah,

5:49

it undermines your mission because it distracts

5:52

everybody. So so seek help,

5:54

whether it's you know, whether it's to bind

5:56

together, you know, join Blue Star Families,

5:59

which is free now obligation, or whether

6:01

it's it's other things, or even in smaller

6:04

ways. If you're finding I'm really sad

6:06

I had a baby, and I'm really sad. I should be sad,

6:08

so I'm wrong with me? Well, you know, talk to other

6:11

people and find out that there's a syndrome

6:13

and it's normal. And normalize

6:16

your experience by talking to people, by seeking

6:18

health, both friends and organizations,

6:21

because all of us can do better

6:24

for ourselves and for our families, for our work

6:26

if we buy them together. He

6:29

talked about going to the military

6:31

and having a voice. Has lost

6:33

our families helped with any changes

6:35

policy changes like you mentioned,

6:39

We definitely have and it's been so empowering.

6:41

We started by just creating

6:44

a survey. So because

6:46

I had been in politics before, when

6:49

the Obama's first came into office, I had

6:51

had an opportunity. I've written a book in two

6:53

thousand and six, and when Senator

6:56

Obama was in the Senate, his staff

6:58

had read my book and they wanted to talk about

7:01

what that was about. So I met them then

7:03

and I knew Missus Obama was thinking

7:05

as she became first Lady about taking on military

7:08

families as an issue. But very

7:10

little was known about military families. So

7:13

we did a survey of military families

7:15

to have them say what their issues

7:17

were and presented that to her and

7:19

that you know, she attributed

7:21

that survey as one of the things

7:23

that helped her to shape joining forces.

7:26

And then we do it annually and we bring

7:28

it to we bring

7:31

it to the military services and to Congress,

7:34

and that's helped them work on getting

7:37

licensure portability for military

7:39

spouses. Or if you're a nurse and you move,

7:41

your license doesn't become

7:44

invalid. Or I'm a lawyer. If you're a lawyer,

7:46

you don't have to take the bar over and over again, cost

7:48

thousands of dollars, takes nine months

7:50

to do it, we've

7:53

worked on getting childcare waivers

7:55

so that even during nine to eleven

7:57

when a lot of military families got kicked out

7:59

of the childcare because it was for essential personnel

8:02

only, the current rules

8:04

said that if they enroll their kids anywhere else, they

8:06

would lose their ability to ever go back to the

8:08

military chalelcare. That's the horns

8:11

of a dilemma. Well, we were able to get

8:13

that policy change in about six weeks,

8:16

So we're kind of constantly able

8:18

to change things in shape things because it's it's

8:20

in everyone's interest. It's in everyone's interest

8:23

to change them. But if you can't identify

8:25

the problem to particulate why you need to change them,

8:27

you can't do it right. And

8:29

then having that data and having like the

8:32

numbers and actually speaking to the

8:34

people in which you serve, I know, had to be such

8:36

a powerful thing obviously, And it's

8:38

just so amazing to have a conversation

8:41

with someone that is talking about the

8:43

Clintons and the Obamas and all

8:46

of these people that we consider to be heroes,

8:49

but in actuality, you know, blue Star

8:51

families, you all are serving the true

8:53

heroes of our country. And so I

8:55

would just love to kind of hear with Blue

8:57

Star families, like maybe if there are any favorite

9:00

moments with the particular military family

9:03

that you worked with, or any story that you can

9:05

share with our community. Oh yeah, there's

9:07

a lot of them. I mean, so we're grassroots

9:10

to grasstops. You know, we work with the senior leaders,

9:12

but we work with the lance corporal's wife too, and

9:15

we work with all facets.

9:17

So I think a lot of times about our

9:20

work with caregivers. So

9:22

you know, imagine, you know, you're

9:24

marriage, You're going along with your life, you have your

9:27

career, your aspirations or your focus, and

9:29

suddenly your husband's injured and

9:31

your whole life comes around. Where

9:33

do I go with this? And a lot of times people's

9:35

lives just collapse and they can't think

9:37

beyond this hour or this minute.

9:41

But we've we've done a bunch of programs. We bring

9:43

in the family and we you know, bring

9:46

them into the community and give them opportunities,

9:48

give them support so they can get beyond the immediate

9:51

day. One young woman who we met, she was

9:53

writing poetry to try to express

9:56

her feelings about

9:58

this challenge that she was facing. She

10:01

was kind of comparing her husband to an

10:03

American flag that had gotten broken

10:06

and torn and she was trying to mend it and

10:08

knit it back together. And you know, did

10:11

it was it still beautiful? Did it still represents

10:13

something really moving? And

10:16

we invited her to present

10:18

the poem both in a conference we were doing

10:20

and then in one of our larger settings,

10:23

so lots of people saw it and responded

10:25

to it, and she really felt

10:27

the love. And she also met some lawmakers.

10:30

She met some senators and congressman and some senior

10:32

people, and she said, I thought, you know, there's

10:35

so much to do. I want to I

10:37

want to be a congressman. So

10:39

that means I need to go to law school. And

10:42

she and you know, she sat

10:45

on that journey and she came to work for us

10:47

part time, and then when her husband

10:50

got rehabilitated and was able to stay

10:52

in she enrolled in law school. Now

10:54

she's working a law firm, she's making connections

10:57

to try to be a congressman. She wants

10:59

to represent issues of caregivers.

11:01

And you know, tell that story in Congress

11:04

and it's it's so exciting to be in a

11:06

place where you can help elevate

11:08

people, you know, and let them

11:10

follow their dreams in a way that gives back

11:13

to the community. And so we've had

11:15

just so many experiences like that. That's

11:17

amazing. I would love to see her poem

11:19

or read it. And I don't

11:22

know where she's going to run what state, but uh

11:24

yeah, she's a Detroit. We could all like rally around.

11:29

We'll figure it out. We want to talk more

11:31

about you. While you were serving at the Pentagon,

11:34

you received a Defense Medal for Outstanding

11:36

Public Service for your work on defense

11:38

reform. Can you enlighten us and share

11:41

your key reform measures that you created?

11:44

I mean, yeah, that's a's so interesting because

11:46

I worked on the Pentagon as

11:48

a plocal point before I married my husband,

11:51

and I was doing kind of management reform,

11:53

right, like how do we how do we outsource

11:56

and not have the Pentagon do what it

11:59

needs what it doesn't do well so

12:01

that other people can. One of those things was housing

12:03

privatization. So I went to bases

12:06

and my name was on the marquee Welcome

12:08

Kathy Rotsuke, you know, Docudentarity

12:11

secretary, blah blah blah, and I get the tour. Then

12:13

a few years later, I'm back on those bases

12:16

as the wife of a mid level service member,

12:18

looks really different, looks

12:20

certainly different, and what it's like to live in those

12:22

houses, you know, and no one's showing to you the

12:25

very best ones. And

12:27

interestingly, and it was great and important

12:29

work because we need to figure out how

12:31

to not spend too much money right

12:34

in our pentagon, how to use

12:36

the money where we need it to be, how to not use where

12:38

it doesn't need to be. That practical

12:40

experience really

12:42

helpful for growing a company which bust Our Families

12:44

as a company, it grew from zero at eight and

12:47

a half million a year now and doubles

12:49

every two to three years. So those management

12:51

reforms were really useful. But

12:53

also this housing privatization, what it means

12:56

is that military families don't live on bases anymore.

12:59

There in our communities. Most people don't

13:01

know that they're moving every one, two and three

13:03

years. But we found in our surveys

13:06

is that the unintended consequence

13:08

of that, which could be good, but right

13:10

now because we haven't connected all the dots, means

13:13

that half of military families feel like they don't

13:15

belong in the communities where they

13:17

live. Their lifestyle is a really different.

13:19

They're moving too fast. Sometimes we don't

13:21

know our neighbors, and so that's become

13:23

a big mission for Blue Star families.

13:26

One of our major missions is to create a sense

13:28

of welcome for military families

13:30

and to find

13:33

a way to connect them in and create

13:35

that sense of belonging where they live. And it's

13:37

interesting for me because it kind of the journey

13:39

for that started with my professional hat, you

13:42

know, twenty years ago, and it's having

13:44

this other incarnation

13:46

now. The upside of this is that

13:48

if you can know your military neighbors, you

13:51

do feel connected to your country in a way. You

13:53

know, you feel good about supporting them

13:55

through their deployments, in their lives,

13:57

and as you guys know from the work you did with them,

14:00

often the people who serve in the military are kind of awesome,

14:03

motivating kinds of people, So helping

14:05

them connect in with their neighbors is

14:07

good for everybody. Absolutely.

14:09

I love that you speak about creating

14:12

that sense of community and making

14:14

people feel belonged, and also I love what you said

14:17

earlier. I wrote it down about

14:19

how important it is to be in a position where you're

14:21

elevating others, and that is something that we

14:23

speak of a lot about here on the show. How we

14:25

can build that community of empowered women

14:27

and elevate each other and use our positions. I

14:30

want to ask more about you and how

14:32

has the work that you've done really shaped

14:34

you into the woman that you are now. Yeah,

14:37

that's a I

14:39

appreciate that question a lot. You

14:42

know, when I was a young woman, probably like

14:44

you guys, you know, I had a lot of ambitions.

14:47

You know, my dreams were about my

14:49

brilliant career. Right. I wanted

14:52

a family, I wanted all of that. But

14:54

I had this other kind of thought.

14:56

Well, when you get involved

14:58

with the military, you know, none of it's

15:01

about you. It's about the mission.

15:03

It's about others. What I learned,

15:05

you know, when my husband went to war, part

15:07

of me was thinking, why are we doing this, because,

15:10

like, it's a volunteer military. We don't have

15:12

to do this, right, I'm

15:15

a lawyer, he's got an MBA. You

15:17

know, I know people like we

15:19

don't have to do this, so why aren't we? And I

15:22

had to come to the fact that, well,

15:24

one thing is, my husband's really good

15:26

at what he's doing, and there's men and women serving underneath

15:29

them, and we really care about them,

15:31

and they're better off with him if

15:33

they're going to go to war than they are without

15:36

him, So we want to do that, you

15:38

know, we want to be there with them. And that

15:41

gave me the insight that it's

15:43

really about love. It's about you

15:45

know, who do we love, what ideas do we love,

15:48

and what people do we love, and what do

15:50

they love that makes us love those things

15:52

too, and that it's

15:54

not about the brilliance that gets shined on us.

15:57

I think you know, your guys profession being

15:59

a cheerleader, it's really that's you

16:01

know, that's really about shining light on other people,

16:04

right, And it's about creating that community,

16:06

and it's about creating joy and others. So

16:09

I think it's very very

16:12

much similar. Maybe when you're a little girl or growing

16:14

up, you think, oh, I'm going to be having the

16:16

spotlight on me, but when you do it, you see,

16:18

actually, I'm putting the spotlight on other

16:21

people. Like that is such a great point because

16:23

anytime we would go on military tours,

16:25

it was so interesting because the

16:27

men and women would come up to us and thank

16:29

us and oh my gosh, we appreciate you all being here,

16:32

and we're like wait a minute, no no, no, no, no, no, no, oh,

16:35

this is about you. We are here because of you,

16:37

and we thank you and we want to bring a little

16:39

bit of America to you. And so I

16:42

love that you bring that point up. Just you

16:44

know, they people in the military are such

16:46

humble, joyful, giving

16:48

people, and when you

16:50

are able to go on tours and touch

16:53

them in such a deep way, you learn

16:55

that about them, and it makes you just want to keep going

16:57

and keep going and keep going and keep

16:59

giving. And speaking of giving, it's

17:02

really cool that you're the first member of the

17:04

Hall of Heroes in the NFL Hall

17:06

of Fame, And so I just have to

17:09

ask you, like, what was going through your mom when

17:11

Pro Football Hall of Fame or Jim Kelly knocked

17:13

on your door to that Ford was donating ten

17:15

thousand dollars worth of toys so

17:18

that you could give to Blue Star families.

17:20

Oh my god, that was so crazy.

17:23

My poor little brain was like just trying

17:25

to connect the dots there going

17:28

on. You know, It's like it's

17:31

hilarious because I'm I'm I'm not

17:33

quite five one. So

17:35

when this many football player comes to you, Joey's

17:38

like NFL Hall of Heroes,

17:40

I'm like, none of this makes sense. My

17:45

husband was there, he was laughing and laughing

17:47

and Jim Kelly was the nicest guy but

17:51

super amazing. And you know, I

17:54

think a lot of times people in the military, as

17:56

much love as people feel for them, often they don't

17:58

know if they're seen or not. So when the

18:01

the NFL, when the Washington football

18:03

team, when big important, you know, icons

18:07

in American culture, recognizes

18:10

our community, it feels so um

18:13

validating, so affirming and

18:16

um. You know, first of all, it's it's overwhelming

18:18

and humbling, and I think you sort of feel like they

18:20

made a mistake, right, But the

18:24

gifts and the support are are

18:27

huge, and it's NFL Ford

18:30

was part of it too, like Ford is another fantastic

18:33

icon for connecting

18:35

in and it makes such a difference. And then

18:37

it's it's great too when you can give those gifts.

18:40

We do um Christmas

18:43

parties holiday parties every December

18:46

for the junior enlisted families and the families

18:48

who are at the hospitals. And it's really

18:51

hard to pull off Christmas when

18:53

you're far from family and friends, when you're

18:55

low income family, you have a lot of kids, and

18:58

so we just help deliver or

19:00

that magic and joy. It's one of

19:02

the best things we do you guys have to come? Actually,

19:04

I'm going to invite you to come do it with us because it's

19:07

it's just a hoot. And so those

19:09

were the where we delivered those gifts and

19:11

it was COVID, so we did it outside.

19:13

We had Santa in a for one

19:16

fifty camouflage and

19:18

the kids were so happy and the families

19:21

too felt proud that they could provide

19:23

that for their kids, you know,

19:25

in a time when otherwise would have been hard for them to

19:27

do it. Yes, we will definitely come. Really,

19:31

I'll be there. Um that

19:34

we have so many questions. I know we're running

19:36

out of time, but um, when

19:38

you were talking about why your husband and why

19:40

you all decided it's important for him to serve

19:43

and it's really to protect others,

19:45

and you know there's there's younger ones that

19:47

their safety is so important. I started

19:50

to tear up thinking I would want someone to say that for

19:53

my son, if he were to be in the service, that

19:55

he would have somebody well trained to protect him

19:58

and lead him. So I kind of brings

20:00

me to the book that you wrote A wall. Is

20:02

that your premise as to why it's important

20:06

for upper classes support and engage in military

20:08

service or can you it

20:11

is? And I think what I was trying to say is that military

20:14

service has become a family business. You're

20:17

if you're eighty four percent of people who serve

20:19

had someone immediate member of their family who served

20:21

two and you can say,

20:24

oh, you know what, lots of bills are like that, So why

20:26

why is that a problem? But it's because civilians

20:29

control the military, and if we don't

20:31

know the military, it's really hard to

20:34

be a good boss. It's hard to know when

20:36

should I send people into harm's way, when should

20:38

I not? What are the implications of what I'm doing?

20:42

And am I taking care of them the way I

20:44

should. We didn't have the proper armor when

20:46

we started going to war. We

20:49

didn't have the under armor for the vehicles.

20:52

If everyone who was in Congress

20:54

has had a kid who was, you know,

20:57

vulnerable to get blown up,

21:00

probably would I have that armor a lot faster. And

21:03

I think serving in the military connects

21:05

you to what our country is doing in the world

21:08

in a way that's very important.

21:10

And it also connects

21:12

you to the lessons of what we do so that

21:15

when you go on to life. But it's not just

21:17

the war part. It's the leadership and the

21:19

mentorship and the responsibility,

21:22

the idea when you're in the military, you don't

21:24

choose your missions, and our missions one

21:27

eighth of them are violent, you know.

21:29

Seven eighths of them are protection

21:32

and support

21:34

and country growing and things

21:36

like that. It connects you to how

21:39

do you be part of building a country? How do you

21:42

not be the person who's deciding all the time what

21:44

you do, but you're joining with other people in just

21:46

doing. And I think in previous

21:49

eras, people from all

21:51

across the country served and they took those

21:53

lessons with them into how they built

21:55

their communities, how they built their companies, how they built

21:57

their families. I think it who's all of

21:59

us have those lessons, and I just want us to open

22:02

it up to everyone to serve, not just

22:05

people who come from the families to do it. I

22:07

love that. I love the lessons and letting

22:10

others just listen and learn from it and not

22:12

see being in the military as one side,

22:14

because there are so many disciplines and responsibilities

22:16

that come from that service. Before

22:19

we let you go, I'm going to just keep trying to learn more

22:21

about you as a woman, because I just think you clearly

22:24

have such a servant hard and you do so much

22:26

for others, and it is so admirable to

22:29

be in your presence, But I want

22:31

to know how do you find time to do it all? We say

22:33

a lot on here that you have to make sure your

22:35

tank is full before you can help others. So how do

22:38

you make sure that Kathy is good

22:40

in order to give her best to others? And

22:44

you have to learn yourself right, what do you

22:46

need? And don't try to be someone else's

22:49

version of who you should be. So

22:51

I think in life you're constantly testing

22:54

to see what am I good at? What

22:56

do I like? What am I not good at? What

22:58

don't I like? And try to take

23:00

your energy towards the things that the

23:02

world needs you to do and you like doing and you're

23:04

good at. And if you can focus

23:07

your energy in those three areas and

23:09

let other people do the other stuff, there's

23:12

there's important things that need to be done. But if you're not

23:14

good at it and you don't like it, find

23:16

someone else to do those things and don't have

23:18

you be that one. And if you're someone

23:20

who like me, I need downtime, take

23:23

the downtime. There's there's

23:26

no shame in that if you know, when my kids

23:28

were growing up and I

23:30

was trying to write and do other things, I took

23:33

naps a lot of days, and sometimes I'd watched

23:35

movies in the middle of the day, and I didn't

23:37

apologize for it, because if that's what I need

23:39

to do to be

23:41

present, then do it for goodness

23:43

sakes and and and I think that we

23:46

have to all realize life is long. You know what,

23:48

I went to law school when I was thirty five. You

23:52

can do anything whenever you want. This

23:54

is America. So don't put

23:57

pressure on yourself, just you know,

23:59

feel the ways that you can give

24:01

and the ways that you can shine

24:04

are what's right. That

24:07

is so so important for us to remember

24:09

because I think, you know, with doing

24:11

personal development and listening to podcasts

24:13

and getting all this advice from people, you

24:15

assume like, well, everyone's getting up at

24:18

five am in the morning, everyone is super productive,

24:20

everyone's doing this, this and this. But if it doesn't

24:22

fit you and because it energize

24:25

you, and if it's not who you are as a

24:27

person and what you need, then that's

24:29

not the route that you need to go. So I love that you

24:31

mentioned that, So thank you for that reminder. Because

24:34

I know that I need that reminder very often.

24:36

So tell our listeners and viewers

24:39

just where they can connect with you and Blue

24:41

Star Families. You know, obviously we could sit

24:43

here and talk to you forever. You know, military

24:45

is so like a passion of all of ours. So

24:49

but unfortunately our time is coming to an end. But

24:51

where people can connect and find you. Yeah,

24:53

So this has been super fun. This has been one

24:55

of my favorite interviews I've

24:57

done. So you guys are great and I all

25:00

you do, and we really

25:02

would love people to come to us at Blue

25:04

Star Families our website. You can just google

25:06

Bluestar Families. We're also Bluestar fam

25:09

dot org. It's free, no obligation.

25:11

We have things for people who are connected

25:14

to the military who are in the military for support,

25:16

but we have lots of ways for non military

25:18

people to connect in We do reading

25:21

groups, we do outings to the parks

25:23

and museums, we do all kinds

25:25

of great ways to engage.

25:27

So we'd love everyone to come to our site, learn

25:30

more about us, become part of our community,

25:33

and we'd love to know all of you. We have a very

25:35

active chapter in the DC area and

25:38

we have a great relationship with the Washington Football

25:40

Team. Well

25:43

awesome. We cannot wait to I

25:45

personally can't wait to get more involved and to be

25:47

a part of the Bluestar family and give

25:49

back any way that I can. So thank you so much

25:52

for joining the while, thank you so much for all that you do

25:55

for military women and servicemen

25:57

and their families and for everyone. And also

26:00

thank you so much Kathie for joining us. Thank

26:02

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28:17

and favorite the Team nine eighty today to listen

28:20

on your phone or smart speaker. We

28:22

are heading into Wow over time, and

28:25

Wow Kathy is incredible.

28:29

I feel like you say this about all of our guests, but she

28:31

truly is so selfless and you

28:34

can just tell like her heart is just pure gold

28:36

and everything that she does is truly about

28:39

how to elevate, like she said others, And we

28:41

can do a quick little mini recap. I know what's

28:43

stuck out to me was how she

28:46

said, you know, you grow up and you think you you want

28:48

to be in the spotlight, and then you know, through life

28:50

lessons and you kind of finding your purpose. You

28:52

realize that you're I felt this personally.

28:55

I feel like your mission is to put the spotlight

28:57

on others. So I just love it she said that and can

29:00

relate to it and also love that she says she doesn't apologize

29:02

for doing the things that she needs, Like if she knows she needs

29:04

to take a nap, she does it and she's not apologizing

29:06

to anybody about it. Yeah, I

29:09

agree. You know, it's like where

29:11

we talked about before on the team. You

29:13

know, as you become a leader or in this community

29:15

career, it could have been in our cheerleading experience,

29:18

it's less about you and more about others.

29:20

And I think that's what exactly we're all saying,

29:23

that it becomes more about everyone else and how you

29:25

can make them better. Or she talked about

29:27

her husband in his service, how he could protect others

29:29

and make their experience safe

29:32

and positive and lead

29:34

the next leaders or bring up the next leader. So I

29:37

have much more to say, but go hid Janine. Yeah,

29:40

I mean, I definitely appreciated the fact that she's

29:42

like, you know, if I need to take a nap or just watch a

29:45

movie during the day, then I'm going to do it, and I

29:47

think sometimes we as women feel

29:50

as though that's not acceptable and that

29:52

we have to do things and do

29:54

it perfectly and make sure that we are

29:56

always on our a game, and sometimes

29:58

being on your a game taking a

30:01

seat and relaxing and refueling

30:03

yourself and just remembering that you

30:06

are important as well, and that you have to make sure

30:08

that you're taking care of your needs and knowing

30:10

what it is that you need. And it's okay to

30:12

sleep in or it's okay to watch

30:15

a movie during the day. So I just love that she mentioned

30:18

that. The other thing that was really profound

30:20

was that she talked about how sometimes

30:23

military men and women don't feel as

30:25

though they're a part of the community, and

30:28

so that just hurt my heart. You

30:32

know, I think sometimes maybe we don't

30:34

do enough as far as just

30:36

saying thank you when we pass by someone

30:38

on the street. I know, when you're on a military

30:41

base, it's easy to have those conversations,

30:43

but in day to day life sometimes we don't.

30:46

We don't have those conversations. So for

30:48

anyone listening, you know, military

30:50

men, women, you know, veterans, families

30:53

of those in the military, we love you,

30:55

We appreciate you, We support you. You are

30:58

you are us. Not only are you a part

31:00

of our community, but you are us. So thank you

31:02

so much for what you do for us. I

31:05

always feel the opposite,

31:07

and so I guess I need to speak up more. Like

31:09

you're saying, I always feel drawn

31:11

because they are the They have this

31:14

quality about them from moving and having

31:16

to adjust and adapt all of the time, that

31:19

they can meet and talk to anybody, And you

31:21

know, there's their personalities because

31:24

of trials and things that are difficult

31:27

really are amazing, Like they're amazing

31:29

people, and so I'm more drawn to them,

31:32

you know what I mean, Like, Okay, how can I be like you

31:34

because you aren't. They just seem so resilient and

31:36

so yes, I probably, like you said, I just need

31:38

to do a better job of making that known. So

31:42

and I think it back to, like,

31:44

you know, one of my teammates who is the daughter

31:47

of a former Navy seal and had

31:49

traveled and lived overseas, and I think

31:51

about the grace and the humility that she

31:53

had and that I'm sure many military families had,

31:55

because like you're saying, Stephanie, they have that resilience

31:58

and they have that bravery

32:00

and courage to just be dropped

32:02

in a different country and how to survive

32:05

and to adjust and adapt, and it just takes such a strong

32:07

quality. And I agree, I think we're all seeing the same thing.

32:10

What we can take away from this interview is that we as

32:12

civilians who can do a better job about making

32:14

sure that obviously we are all so grateful, but making

32:17

sure that they feel our grace and just how

32:19

appreciative we are. And I personally cannot

32:21

wait to get more involved involved

32:23

in general bluest our families, but get back into

32:25

being more involved locally here with our military

32:28

efforts. That was a great interview.

32:31

It was just such a joy to be able to have so

32:33

much more time with our guests over the last

32:35

couple of episodes, just to be able to really

32:37

diving because I know the interviews fly by so

32:40

quick. But to wrap this up,

32:42

Stephanie, can you give us Are there any

32:44

WOW events coming up, any anything going on? Yeah?

32:46

Absolutely, So we are

32:49

for the virtual draft five k I know

32:51

I entered to run Lord help Me and

32:54

we sent out an email to our

32:57

WOW listeners, so you and our members five

33:00

dollars off so register as soon as you can

33:02

to be able to take part. Obviously, the funds

33:04

go to our wonderful charitable foundation, so

33:07

we want to support them as well. Wednesday,

33:10

May twelfth, we're having an x's and OS

33:13

and this is going to be our first back in person

33:15

event at FedEx Field in the Touchdown

33:18

Club, So we have a limited number that

33:20

can attend, but I hope he can be there. We'll have alumni,

33:22

we'll have one of our Washington football team coaches

33:25

talking about x xes and os.

33:27

We'd love to make sure we're all there as well,

33:30

and we're going to come up with our own WOW play

33:32

that we're going to suggest to Coach Rivera. We'll

33:35

see if he does it. And

33:37

then of course you know Draft night our

33:40

FedEx Field, you know live for twenty

33:43

twenty one. We'll be there. I know Jeanie

33:45

and I will be there to meet WOW members and get you to

33:47

sign up and we'll have if you're there in present,

33:49

we'll have a special shirt for you. So can't

33:52

wait. We have a lot of coup of dolls. I know it

33:56

won't be there. But speaking of his draft,

33:58

we have a very exciting episode next

34:01

time. We have the legendary Fred Smooth

34:03

joining us on the next while episode to discuss

34:05

all of the draft picks at the watching football team.

34:08

Snatch us up so I know it's

34:10

going to be such a fun one. Here's a who

34:12

So make sure you're subscribing so

34:14

you don't miss that episode because it is going to be a

34:16

great one. I have no doubts that'll

34:18

do it for us. Thank you so much for joining us here on

34:20

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34:22

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