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Swipe Left

BonusReleased Thursday, 26th October 2023
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Swipe Left

Swipe Left

Swipe Left

Swipe Left

BonusThursday, 26th October 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

At Kroger, everyone wins

0:02

when it comes to saving big. Because

0:04

when you order online through the Kroger app, you

0:07

get the same great prices, deals,

0:09

and rewards on pickup or delivery

0:11

that you do in-store, with no hidden

0:14

fees or markups. Best of all, you'll

0:16

know when items in your cart have a coupon, so

0:18

you never miss a deal. So whether you're a

0:20

delivery lover, picker-upper, or

0:23

you shop in-store, no matter how you

0:25

shop, you'll always save big at

0:27

Kroger. Kroger. Fresh for everyone.

0:57

Today, The Wrong Station is proud to present Swipe

1:00

Left by Alexander Saxton.

1:10

One

1:14

day, as you're lounging, absentmindedly

1:17

swiping through one of the apps, a

1:20

profile catches your attention. A

1:23

professional quality photograph of a person

1:25

who is exactly, exactly

1:28

what you imagine in your head when you picture

1:30

your perfect partner. The

1:33

lighting's good. The photograph snapped

1:35

at exactly that magic hour when the westering

1:37

sun turns the leaves behind them golden

1:40

green.

1:42

They seem happy and healthy. Their

1:44

eyes gleam with intelligence, humor,

1:47

and evening light. You swipe

1:50

through a few of their photos, trying to manage

1:52

your own expectations, telling yourself

1:54

that the one photo was probably just a one-off.

1:58

But,

1:58

no. each and every

2:00

one of their photos, even the old, low-quality

2:03

ones, capture exactly that same

2:05

essence.

2:07

This is the person.

2:09

This is the one you've been looking for for so,

2:11

so long. And

2:14

then, as you reach their last photo, a

2:17

stone of disappointment drops through your stomach.

2:20

They're with someone else, someone

2:23

whose eyes also gleam with intelligence,

2:25

humor, and the evening light. Someone

2:28

who looks sort of like you, but

2:31

more attractive, better dressed.

2:35

Their partner hits a couple's account.

2:39

Damn.

2:41

Still, just for the sake of what

2:44

might have been, you scroll back to the

2:46

first picture and tap to read the bio.

2:49

You feel it's worth a moment of your time to find

2:51

out more about this person who you allowed yourself,

2:54

if only for a brief and foolish moment,

2:57

to imagine a future with. At

2:59

the top of the bio, written in all caps,

3:02

is the disclaimer. Warning, please

3:05

read carefully before swiping read.

3:08

Jack and Jessa, couple's account.

3:11

Young, fit couple,

3:13

very much in love. Interested

3:15

in books, philosophy, the outdoors, and

3:18

winky face, kink positive.

3:21

Looking for a new playmate, specifically

3:23

looking for someone to join us in the bedroom and

3:25

then strangle and dismember us at the same time,

3:28

disposing of our mingled bodies and separate trash

3:30

bags along the highway. The highway's

3:32

part of it. A municipal road is not

3:34

good enough. Please do not swipe

3:36

right unless you're willing to act in good faith. You

3:41

pause for a moment, not sure you've

3:43

read all that correctly. Then

3:46

you pause for another moment. Imagine

3:49

yourself as you find yourself considering

3:52

the idea on its merits.

3:54

It's

3:55

certainly not your thing,

3:58

but aren't you out here trying to have new experience? It

4:01

mightn't be worth it after all just for

4:03

a chance to get to know if only for one

4:05

night

4:06

that one perfect person that you always hoped

4:08

you'd meet.

4:12

Then the moment passes and you

4:14

laugh at yourself shaking your head. You

4:17

swipe left for Christ's sake. You're

4:19

not that desperate. Not

4:23

yet anyway. You

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