0:00

Hey folks. Don't fast-forward hear me out.

0:02

Well, you just listen to me for a second.

0:04

I may be coming to a place that's close to you.

0:07

My tour is on.

0:08

I've got no information that would lead me to believe that any of these dates are going to be canceled.

0:13

You can go to WTF, pod.com/tour to see where I'm going to be.

0:19

And if you can come, especially right now, the first few dates coming up are January 27th in Santa Barbara at the Lobero theater, San Louis Obispo, California at the Fremont on January 28th, the palace of fine arts for the nine 30 show in San Francisco.

0:35

There's still a few tickets there and I'll be at the uptown theater in Napa, California on January 30th.

0:41

I'll be in San Diego, California on February 11th at the observatory north park for two shows, a 6:30 PM and a 9:15 PM.

0:52

All right, for all other dates, go to WTF, pod.com/tour and see what you can find nothing's canceled yet.

1:03

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1:37

Yes,

1:37

let's

1:37

do

1:37

this

1:42

show.

1:42

All

1:42

right,

1:42

let's

1:42

do

1:53

this. How are you? What the fuckers? What the fuck buddies and what the fuck?

1:57

Couplets? What the fuck? Nix.

1:58

How's it going? I'm mark Marin.

2:00

This is my podcast. How are you?

2:02

Have you gotten over your OMA Cron yet?

2:04

Have you gotten over your COVID yet?

2:06

Have you got the COVID?

2:07

How are things out there?

2:10

Are you freaking out? Are we freaking out?

2:12

Is anything getting better? I don't know.

2:14

I don't know.

2:15

My guest today is Nicole Byer.

2:17

People love Nicole Byer.

2:19

Everybody seems to love Nicole Byer.

2:22

She's the host of nailed it on Netflix, her standup special.

2:26

I believe it's on Netflix as well.

2:28

She's got four different podcasts going or wipe out, which is a game show.

2:34

She hosts as well. Lots of other things because she's, she's everywhere.

2:39

She's all places.

2:40

Nicole Byer. She's on this new NBC series grand crew, and she'll also be hosting the critic's choice awards with Tay Diggs.

2:48

And I talked to her today.

2:50

I talked to her.

2:52

So when I spoke to you on a, what, what is it last week?

2:58

Last Thursday, I told you that I was planning on going to Bob Saget, his funeral, going to the cemetery.

3:04

I don't do that.

3:05

And I've had a realization as of late.

3:08

It's not that it's a policy, but I haven't found myself in funerals.

3:13

And I've lost a lot of people that I know that are close to me.

3:16

And either they're, you know, it would be a travel situation or I'm on the road or whatever.

3:20

I just felt the need, a deep need to go to Bob sag.

3:24

Get's funeral because Bob Saget was a great guy.

3:28

We weren't best friends, but the times that we did talk and the times we did hang out, just a, I just a loving person and I I'm going to miss him.

3:37

And I think when I think about him, it makes me sad and I miss him.

3:40

I wanted to go for closure.

3:41

I wanted to go to the funeral and I went and it was a lovely service.

3:45

Rabbi was funny, killed, had a great joke, right, right out of the gate.

3:50

I think the joke was someone somewhere along the lines of, he said like, if I'm sure if Bob were here, he'd be wondering the same thing where we are.

3:59

We're all wondering why, why, why couldn't it have been Stamos?

4:04

Very funny opened with it strong, but it wasn't the, obviously it wasn't a comedy show and it was a bit, it was heavy and it was sad.

4:13

And the Cantor saying that this, the songs that Cantor sing in the Hebrew, you got to wear the yamikas and his daughters spoke and it was just devastating.

4:21

And some of his friends spoke at the funeral and his wife spoke and it just to feel all that grief, the weight of it.

4:28

And then to kind of sit in that space.

4:33

And that, that, that cemetery is very close to me.

4:37

I drive by it all the time.

4:38

And then it was interesting because I, I still find, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.

4:45

Do you know what I mean? This like, th this funeral was so pleasant.

4:49

And so clearly this guy lived the life he wanted to live and loved and, and, and had people that loved him.

4:55

I can't even imagine what my friend will be.

4:57

It's going to be a lot of people saying, like, most people didn't really know mark the way I knew him, but he wasn't, you know, he was a good guy.

5:06

He could be difficult, you know, nine people in the room.

5:08

They

5:08

had

5:08

the

5:08

cars

5:08

all

5:08

parked

5:08

in

5:14

line. So everyone could kind of leave the parking lot in a procession, right.

5:18

To go to the burial site.

5:21

And I was about three lines in, you know, they were lined up and there were people cutting.

5:28

There were people pulling out of their line to, to go on the procession, you know, before their turn.

5:35

And, and I, I immediately was like, you know, fuck, what the fuck is that guy doing?

5:41

What the fuck? Like, what's the hurry.

5:44

But I still had that impulse.

5:46

Like these people are cheating, you know, they're going to get, what, what are they going to get?

5:51

They're not going to put them in the ground without everybody there.

5:54

I just have to, I have to check myself, but it was heavy, man.

5:58

It was obviously heavy, but it was like I said, the service was beautiful.

6:02

People were there for it.

6:04

And I watched them, you know, put him in the ground.

6:07

And

6:07

I

6:07

drive

6:07

by

6:07

that

6:10

exit. And by that, I see that cemetery from my hike three days a week.

6:14

And I was driving back from the comedy store.

6:17

I actually went and did comedy the night of the funeral.

6:20

And it was not good to RA couldn't speak from the right place.

6:25

And

6:25

I

6:25

drive

6:25

past

6:25

it

6:25

almost

6:25

daily,

6:25

that

6:32

cemetery. And I just couldn't wrap my brain around the idea as I was driving home, like on Friday night that a week ago, Friday Sackett was home in his house, living his life.

6:46

And I just saw them put him in the ground right over there.

6:51

He

6:51

was

6:51

in

6:51

his

6:51

house,

6:51

in

6:51

his

6:54

bed. Now he's in the ground right over there.

6:57

I can't, I can't get that out of my head.

6:59

And

6:59

I'm

6:59

going

6:59

to

6:59

miss

6:59

knowing

6:59

he's

6:59

alive

6:59

in

6:59

the

7:04

world.

7:04

I

7:04

really

7:08

am.

7:08

Something

7:08

happened

7:08

the

7:08

other

7:11

night. What day is today?

7:12

Monday, Saturday night, I had a spot at the comedy store, nine 15, and Jeff Ross texted me that, that he and John Mayer and Chapelle were going to take over the belly room, which is the small room upstairs.

7:31

It seats about 80, maybe in the comedy store for, you know, just for, to blow off some steam for sag, it's family and friends.

7:39

So it was this little kind of private show upstairs.

7:42

He said, look, I'm going to tell John Mayer, John's going to bring another guitar if you want to hang out.

7:48

And there's still part of me that sort of like, nah, this is set up.

7:51

But Jeffrey Ross has been very nice to me.

7:54

And he seems to look out for me and he wants to make sure I'm part of things.

7:58

So, but I get to the comedy store and I'm, yeah, I'm waiting around to do my spot.

8:04

They're running a little late and people are starting to come for that show.

8:06

I see Jeff and I talked to him for a while. And then a lot of other people that, you know, you know, I saw them at the funeral as well, but you know, his family's coming, you know, his daughter show up who I've never met.

8:18

And Jeff introduced me to his daughters.

8:20

And one of his daughters said, my father liked you a lot.

8:23

And I just like, you know, got choked up.

8:28

And I'm like, I gotta, I guess I gotta go play guitar.

8:32

Now I did bring two picks with me.

8:34

Cause like, all I could think of is like, there's like, I'm not, it's not going to be something I'm not going to have to get on stage and go toe to toe with John Mayer.

8:44

It's just might be fun to play a little guitar with John Mayer, even for a few minutes.

8:47

Cause he's so fucking good. But just in case I threw the picks in my pocket.

8:50

I don't know.

8:52

I went up there and I was just watching the back of the room after I did my sat and Chappelle looks in the back of the room.

8:59

He's talking and Jeff's on stage talking.

9:01

And John Mayer is just sitting there with a guitar.

9:03

They're talking about Bob Saget.

9:05

They're getting laughs here and there.

9:07

And Chappelle's like, is that mark Marin?

9:08

And I'm like, yes, yes.

9:11

He's like, oh an O G what's up man.

9:16

He says, I'm sorry, I didn't get to see it.

9:18

The funeral, we didn't get to talk. I know you had some loss in your life as well.

9:21

And I'm sorry. I'm glad.

9:23

I'm glad you're here.

9:27

Yeah. And this is like in front of everybody that I thank you, man.

9:29

I appreciate that. And then Ross is like, come up here.

9:32

We got another guitar, John. Mary's like, well, I brought a guitar and I'm like, I don't know.

9:35

You know, come on, man. I'm not, you know, no, no, no.

9:37

And I'm like, I got two pigs in my pocket and the audience is like, yay, go on.

9:43

And I'm like, nah. Right. And I get up there and put a guitar on, sat there, me next to Mayer next to Ross in between Ross was in between me and, and me and John were trading lakes, doing little blues and everyone, you know, I did all right, held my own.

9:59

It wasn't like a music show. It was just sort of like Dave was talking, Jeff was talking, I chime in John mare would chime in.

10:06

But the truth is, is like, despite what anyone thinks about anybody at this point in time, this was a night for Bob's friends and family.

10:13

These were comics getting together, you know, to blow off a little steam after an incredibly difficult week for friends and family of Bob Saget.

10:21

And it got racy and it got interesting and it got fun and it got real and there was a lot of smoke and I've been around that much smoke, whether it's a Chappelle cigarettes or weed or whatever was going on.

10:36

I left, I left. I only hung out about an hour.

10:39

And I realized like, oh, this is what happens.

10:42

You know, this is like, I know these guys sometimes stay on stage for hours and I'm like, they just get fucked up and they keep going and going because they don't want to, you know, they're having, they don't want to be alone.

10:51

They don't want to stop.

10:52

But I got to, I got out after about an hour and it was hard.

10:55

I had to extricate myself and there were people going, no, and I'm like, I gotta go.

11:00

I gotta go. And I felt the smoke in my head, in my head.

11:05

I felt it. But again, I was happy to do it.

11:08

I was happy to be part of the community and be part of the show.

11:13

And it was very sweet of Bob's daughter to say that.

11:17

And it was good to see everybody today's

11:20

show is sponsored by better help online therapy.

11:23

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11:27

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12:17

That's better H elp.com/wtf.

12:23

So as I mentioned earlier, Nicole Byer is here.

12:27

And the new series she's on is called grand crew is on NBC, but you can see her on the whole other stuff or listen to her on all her other stuff.

12:34

She does a lot of stuff.

12:35

Grand crew is on NBC new episodes on Tuesday nights.

12:40

This is me talking to the very funny, very charming kind of exciting Nicole Byer.

12:46

I

12:46

was,

12:46

I'm

12:46

not

12:46

a

12:59

baker.

13:03

Neither am I. You're not. No

13:04

you ever try.

13:07

I have tried. I can make ooey gooey butter cake.

13:10

It's a Paula Dean recipe. I know she's bad.

13:12

She said the N word a couple of times on record.

13:16

If you're okay with it, I'll be okay with it. Just for this conversation.

13:22

You can't taste the racism. It's just sweet.

13:24

I can make that.

13:26

I can make Mac and cheese, Mac

13:28

and cheese baked.

13:29

I've baked some Mac and cheese in my day where you like in the, in a, like a roasting pan, the whole layer of it.

13:37

Yeah. Like the Ru.

13:40

Oh yeah, yeah. Right. And he poured over the noodles.

13:42

My mom used to make it and I I'm on a quest to try to make it the way my mother, my sister has said, good try.

13:49

So I think it's not quite Right,

13:52

but My

13:54

mom put on you. Yeah. Right. That's part of that.

13:57

It's like that a joy of cooking recipe.

14:00

Yeah. Kinda. Yeah.

14:01

I guess I don't know the joy of cooking.

14:04

It's like that classic one, like there was a period there.

14:06

I was just trying to bake or just not bake, but because I cook a lot.

14:10

So I was just asking you questions. It's not because you host a show where people make a fucked up cake.

14:15

I

14:15

can

14:15

cook

14:15

a

14:15

Irish

14:15

soda,

14:15

bread

14:15

and

14:15

a

14:21

pie. I can do a pie. I'm just trying to get on your show.

14:23

What do I gotta do to you have to be able To

14:26

not bake. You have to be bad at it.

14:29

No, but I can't do it. Improvisationally.

14:30

I got to have a recipe.

14:31

I mean, people just get on there and they don't even know how much flour to put in kind of doing First

14:36

couple of seasons. It was people who truly couldn't read directions, had no artistic eye.

14:44

Cause it's like, you got to make a cake, but then you gotta make it into like a shark or something like that.

14:50

Cause I, you know, I get the idea to show you're basically like people are signing up.

14:54

They're like I'm okay. Looking stupid.

14:57

Yeah. That's, that's exactly what it is.

14:59

And it's like, I get it. I'm in on the joke.

15:00

This is fun.

15:03

Yeah. But yeah, we can, we butter cake.

15:05

That's good. I can make cookies.

15:07

That's pretty easy. Yeah. Yeah. I can't, I don't, I don't want to have him around.

15:10

Oh, I don't want, I don't want cookies in my house.

15:13

I got chocolate in my house.

15:15

I can't have ice cream in my house. Yeah.

15:17

Cause

15:17

then

15:17

it's

15:17

just

15:17

an

15:17

ongoing

15:21

battle. Like I, you know, look, I I'm crazy.

15:24

I have, I have, I had grew up with an anorexic mother.

15:28

So my, my ideas about eating and food are not great.

15:32

So it's an ongoing, like last night, for instance, I was sad.

15:37

My buddy, Bob Saget passed away yesterday and I felt like, well, maybe I should go get a pint ice cream and just plow through it.

15:46

Yeah. But yeah, but I made the different choice.

15:47

I'm like, you know what? There's a basket and Robbins down the street.

15:50

I'm just going to get a cone.

15:51

Oh see. Okay.

15:53

I like that. I thought you were depriving yourself of yummy tree.

15:58

No, no. When I it's just, when I have them in the house, I'll eat all of them and Fast.

16:02

I I'm the same Way.

16:04

Yeah. So what happens is if I got ice cream in the freezer, I'm just sort of like, I'm going to have to get rid of that by eating it now.

16:12

Yeah. Yeah. People were sending me pints and pints.

16:14

Oh yeah. Places.

16:17

Oh. They were like, this guy will put it on Instagram somewhere.

16:19

Jenny's was sending me for awhile.

16:22

And then there's this place in, I have a Problem

16:24

at Jenny's Really?

16:26

I have a problem too, but would be different than yours.

16:29

I wonder what your problem is. So I went in, I asked for a half scoop because I have portion control issues.

16:34

And the lady behind the counter said, we can't do that.

16:36

And I said, why?

16:38

I just want like half of the kids scoop.

16:40

And she said, we don't do that. I have to charge you for a full scoop.

16:43

And I said, that's okay.

16:44

I just want half of it.

16:46

And I don't want to throw it away. Cause I won't throw it away.

16:49

I'll just eat it. And she said, we can't do that.

16:50

And I was showing angry. I was like, I'll get nothing.

16:53

So I have a, not a vendetta against Jenny's, but if someone's like, let's go to Jenny's.

16:57

I'll be like, no, thank you. So you even in paying full price, it wouldn't give you the half.

17:00

No, She insists on and giving me the full scoop, even though I didn't want it.

17:07

That's my problem. Well, that's, that's more of a consumer problem.

17:10

Kinda like a, like a, like a problem with their policy.

17:14

Yes. I, this place that I was getting ice cream from in St.

17:17

Louis, like they're sending it to me from St.

17:20

Louis has placed clementines. There's a few of them in the St.

17:22

Louis area. It's artismal ice cream.

17:25

Now in order to call something artismal it has to have a certain amount of milk fat in it.

17:29

So like 18% or something crazy.

17:32

Right? Like most ice cream you buy at the store, it's like 16%.

17:35

So eat this stuff.

17:36

And it means it has to be made by hand and have that high milk fat in it.

17:41

So it's like, we'll fucking ice cream.

17:43

And the woman who owned that place told me with these other places, don't have it all to us.

17:49

Nope. Jenny's Nope. Used to no more.

17:52

Once they went when corporate, because like art, you have to do it by hand.

17:56

Oh yes.

17:57

But

17:57

you

17:57

can

17:57

cut

17:57

corners

17:57

with

17:57

a

17:57

milk

18:01

fat. If you were in the trick, why not save money? And that's what they care about.

18:04

Interesting. So it's not even, it's not even top-notch This

18:07

place in Brooklyn called the social.

18:09

So they used to own ample Hills Creamery.

18:11

And then I don't know something happened.

18:14

They left that and they started a new one called the social.

18:16

And maybe there's this art teasel.

18:18

I feel like there's this handmade.

18:19

And it's very, very rich.

18:22

It's so good.

18:23

They have one called ooey, gooey butter cake.

18:25

That's what I'm always coming back to. It's my favorite.

18:28

A lot of them do that. Now the butter cake one.

18:29

It's so good. So we're like, I w I watched some of the standup boy.

18:34

I mean, I don't know you you're.

18:36

I mean, I didn't know you was a standup cause I'm old though.

18:39

I'm older. I don't know. I don't know any of the kids.

18:41

And Thank you for calling me a kid, But

18:45

where'd you come from? Where did I come from?

18:47

Middletown, New Jersey. Well, I started doing improv in New York at the upright citizens, brigade theater, and then moved out here.

18:55

So I was doing like sketch and improv. I grew up in Jersey.

18:58

Wow. That's I I'm from Jersey.

19:00

What part of Jersey are you from? Well, I'm

19:03

genetically Jersey. As I like to say, both of my parents from Jersey.

19:06

I was born in Jersey. I lived in Jersey till I was like six.

19:09

Okay. Pompton lakes is where my mother's friend from Morris.

19:12

That's Morris county. I think maybe Bergen county.

19:14

That's north. Yeah. Yeah. North Jersey and my dad from Jersey city.

19:20

Oh, okay. So you're north Jersey. I'm from central Jersey, but you probably people in north Jersey you're like that south Jersey people in south Florida, like that's north, but we're like where?

19:27

Central beach. Yeah. Yeah. But it's definitely, it's not by Patterson.

19:30

No, I don't think so.

19:32

It's funny. People from Jersey have no idea where other places In

19:35

Jersey must know where some of parts of Jersey are.

19:37

Princeton is right. Oh, so it's near, there are no It's

19:42

my, so it's by like red bank.

19:45

Well, Silver

19:46

theater is yes.

19:50

And that's a dream of mine. I want to play the count basically theater, Because

19:52

he grew up right here. I played it.

19:54

Is it fun? Yeah. I think I'm going back to it.

19:57

I think they call it some, I think they're calling it something else.

19:59

Oh No.

20:00

That Makes me very back to red bank.

20:03

Something center maybe.

20:05

Yeah. We're just kind of based on basic, who is count basic.

20:09

Oh,

20:09

see

20:15

Companies. He was a piano player and band leader that I believe started with duke Ellington.

20:19

Oh, okay. So there was the count Basie, orchestra, ah, swing and stuff.

20:24

Pre bebop kind of thing. Okay.

20:26

Yeah. Big jazz orchestra.

20:27

There you go. To, some of them got to listen to count Basie.

20:30

We can do right now. Now you can do it later.

20:33

So, but yeah, like growing up, like how many brothers and sisters?

20:38

You big family.

20:40

One older sister. Who's very tiny.

20:42

So she looks younger than me.

20:44

She's

20:46

good. A teacher. And she's really sweet.

20:49

Yeah. That's a good job. It is a nice job.

20:51

I could never Hold

20:54

the Kids. They're young. I think they're like six, maybe 6, 7, 8.

20:57

Oh. So real kids are not horrible yet.

21:02

Horrible. But they're horrible. Like kids not horrible.

21:04

Like, you know, bad kids.

21:06

Yeah. They're not terrible, but she'll tell me stories. And I'm like, kids are just, they're unreasonable.

21:11

You can't reason with them. They say something wild.

21:14

And then you're like, well, that might not be true.

21:16

And they're like, but it is. I said it it's true.

21:18

Yeah. I couldn't do it. She's I can't, I don't have any, I can't, I can't spend too much time with them.

21:26

They're sticky and stuff.

21:27

I just can't imagine having one in my house where you're like, wake up and they're like, staring at me there.

21:33

I'm ready. Ready for Miami? Or like at night, they're like, there's a man in my closet.

21:37

And you're like, oh no, I don't want to deal with a haunting.

21:40

Go to sleep.

21:42

I don't want it. I just, I found early on.

21:44

I think that I am too selfish, too panicky and too angry.

21:51

Yeah. To have them.

21:52

I think I can't Who

21:55

do have them like that.

21:57

They may be.

22:00

I say that on stage now. I'm like, you don't have to.

22:02

I mean, you can make choices.

22:04

You're not a dog.

22:04

You

22:04

can

22:04

make

22:04

grown-up

22:09

choices. Not to have them. Anything you want.

22:10

I don't think I want them. Although if I turned 50 and I'm still a single woman, I'd probably adopt like an older kid and be like, you're my friend, Your

22:19

friend.

22:21

Maybe like 13.

22:22

Yeah. Fifteen's too old. I don't want to be your mother, but I just want someone to be around.

22:26

You call me Nicole. We travel. We have a good time.

22:28

Maybe go to school a little Bit. People will look at you.

22:30

Weird. You think? Yeah. They might judge you a little bit.

22:32

If I adopt an older kid, that's My new friend. If you buy an older kid.

22:37

Well, I think here older kids don't get adopted often.

22:40

So like, wouldn't it be nice if I got one, like, come on, let's go to France.

22:44

Yeah. Yeah. What did he, I dunno.

22:46

I guess there's probably a reason why older kids don't get adopted.

22:49

It's a sad reason, but they're kind of set in their ways already.

22:53

Yeah. Or you set in your ways of a nice lady with money, wants to take you around the world could been doing.

22:59

Why don't you just find like a 20 year old, I

23:03

guess. Yeah. I get it like a 21 year old. My year of legal age.

23:06

Let's hang out and be friends Adopted

23:09

21 girls.

23:10

So

23:10

what,

23:10

like

23:10

what

23:10

world

23:10

did

23:10

you

23:10

grow

23:10

up

23:15

in? I don't know what Middletown. Middletown.

23:17

Yeah. Middleton. Lincroft in Middletown.

23:20

Would you like folks? Do what was the story over there?

23:23

I mean, in high school I smoked a lot of weed and then went to Chili's and would say it was one of our birthdays And

23:29

get a free dessert. That was your childhood went to Chili's.

23:35

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. High school. About your birthday.

23:39

Yeah. I spoke to a lot of weed in high school.

23:41

I go to English class a lot and my teacher would be like, do you want to read this part of the book?

23:48

And I laugh and I'd be like, no, I can't like I

23:50

had the same thing. And I had to go to the nurse because I was so embarrassed because I was, it wasn't English.

23:58

It was like some other like social studies or something she asked me to read and I literally couldn't handle it, but I felt so embarrassed.

24:05

I said, I got to go to the nurse.

24:07

I'm too high.

24:11

Yeah. I would just giggle and be like, pass.

24:13

I can't do. But you had friends right here were probably having fun.

24:16

No one knew I was high.

24:18

Oh, you were just doing it by yourself.

24:19

I wouldn't know. I was out with other people at lunch or whatever, but they weren't there.

24:23

I wasn't part of a crew.

24:25

I

24:25

was

24:25

just

24:28

alone. The loans down in social studies being like, I'm not sure.

24:33

Yeah. I couldn't do it. It's the worst feeling.

24:35

It is A weird feeling to be alone in a setting where you're like, sorry, I can't function up to high for this.

24:42

Yeah. I can't read it. I couldn't tell her.

24:44

I was too high.

24:44

I

24:44

remember

24:44

the

24:44

teacher

24:48

Mrs. Wall Mine.

24:50

Weird. I think. Mrs. DiMarco Did

24:52

you do anything in high school?

24:55

My mother was like, you talk a lot, so why don't you do the play?

24:58

And I was like, okay. And that's how I got into acting and performing.

25:03

How old were you then? I Think I was 15.

25:07

What'd your mom do? 15. My mom was a stay at home mom, but she also like was a lunch aid at my school.

25:12

Cause she was like obsessed with me.

25:14

Couldn't get away from me. She was like, when me come to school with you?

25:18

Yeah. She Was always like, you want to treat your adopted?

25:22

Yeah. She was like, I gotta go everywhere. This little kid.

25:24

Really? Yeah. What does the one shade do During

25:29

lunch? You like watch over the Kids.

25:33

Just hang out. Wow. That's Interesting.

25:35

I like Don't remember everything.

25:37

Okay. At this table.

25:39

Do you need napkins? Plates, forks, knives.

25:41

What do you need? I think it was just like volunteer parents to just like watch kids while teachers, I guess.

25:47

Got it. That's nice. So she was just hanging around school and people were like, what is your mom doing here?

25:52

Yeah. She's just hanging out. Leave me alone.

25:53

What'd your dad do? My dad was he worked at, at and T as like a, an engineer.

26:01

I think that's what it is. He like wrote programs and stuff.

26:05

Yeah. Wow. Like very smart and really wanted me to be smart too.

26:09

And like, I did think I'm like kind of smart, but like academics.

26:11

Oh boy. It's hard. Do you want me to sit and read and do bro?

26:14

No, I couldn't do it. I'm not a math guy. I'm not math.

26:16

I can't do the math. It's too hard.

26:18

Science That's I guess some people got a knack for it.

26:22

I don't know what is science? No, I, I, I got an F or an E.

26:25

The teacher was trying to not fail me.

26:28

So he gave me an E in chemistry.

26:29

It was kind, but I just couldn't because chemistry is like math.

26:32

I couldn't do it.

26:34

Yeah. I don't know what my brain is broken like that.

26:36

And algebra, I couldn't figure out algebra.

26:39

Algebra is so hard. Algebra, algebra.

26:42

Then they put me in basic math.

26:43

Cause they were like, friend, really? You're not good at this.

26:46

You're really bad.

26:48

I feel bad about it. And there's some part of me that thinks like, well I'm an adult now.

26:52

I think it's time to tackle math.

26:55

No, here's the only thing you need in math as an adult.

27:00

Who's not in the field of math or whatever.

27:02

Quantum physics is to figure out the tip.

27:05

You move the decimal 0.1 place and then double it.

27:09

And that's 20%. That's the only thing you need to know.

27:13

Yep. Some recipes though.

27:15

Oh, maybe some fractions, maybe how many tablespoons is in a quarter cup kind of deal.

27:20

Make those kinds of transitions.

27:21

Like if You

27:24

have a quarter cup, you have like, I know, but like what are some calls for like six tablespoons or it can be like, I can just use the quarter cup and two tablespoons.

27:31

Cause I know how much. Oh see, that would be nice.

27:33

Not, I I'll do six teaspoons or tablespoons or whatever.

27:38

I can make those kinds of fraction decisions.

27:39

Oh see. That's nice. I know.

27:41

So, all right.

27:43

So your mom pushes into the trauma.

27:46

Yeah. And what, what is it what's happening and what plays do you do?

27:50

So the first play I did, there were so many people who wanted to do the plays that my drama teacher, Ms.

27:56

Sutton, she, she did like a bunch of short plays by Christopher Durang.

28:01

So I remember those.

28:03

Yeah. So like there's like the actor's nightmare, DMV tyrant.

28:06

Oh, I can't remember any other ones.

28:09

I forget the one that, the one that I knew, But

28:12

I guess there was like 10 of them.

28:15

So like, there was just a bunch of kids in them. And I did DMV tyrant, which is just like a frustrating lady at the GMV character, a very character piece.

28:22

And people laughed and really loved it.

28:25

And I was like, Ooh, baby, this is what I gotta do for the rest of my life.

28:28

What a dream?

28:31

Getting the laughs. Yeah. It's a, it's addictive.

28:34

It's like what? I think maybe shooting heroin is like, are you just chasing that high?

28:39

Like I think when you shoot heroin, you were your responsibilities and there.

28:43

Oh sure. Yeah.

28:46

Once you do the shot, you're good with the laugh you got, You

28:50

gotta keep working. Yeah. You gotta do a whole hour of .

28:56

Yeah. It is a lot of work.

28:58

So you just were doing mostly theater in high school.

29:02

Yeah. Just theater in high school. We had a spring play and a fall play.

29:06

So I would do that.

29:07

And

29:07

then

29:07

I

29:07

was

29:07

also

29:07

doing

29:07

track

29:07

and

29:11

field. At that time I was doing the fat girl sport, which is ShotPut that's where they put all the little fat.

29:16

He's like, oh, you're probably strong. Right. You're big.

29:18

So he did that and then I quit.

29:20

Well, I was doing pretty good. My coach was frustrated with me.

29:22

He was like, if you just like worked out and worked a little harder, you could be really good at this.

29:26

And I was like, but I'm an actor, but a Practical

29:31

skill. Yeah.

29:33

You could go to the Olympics or something. Not For

29:35

you. No, No, I don't want to go to the Olympics.

29:37

You're kidding. And throw the heavy ball around.

29:41

Give me a stage Two

29:43

every day. Have to go out to the field after school, throw the heavy ball around.

29:49

Yeah. Not for you. Not for me.

29:51

And then, But

29:53

you're able to graduate high school somehow. Barely.

29:56

Yeah. There was Ms. Ernst who worked in the office.

29:58

She was like, Nicole, you've missed too many days of school.

30:02

You're not going to graduate. You've missed like two too many.

30:05

You ditched. Ha I never went to school.

30:07

What'd you guys, Do

30:10

You like go, no, you go to the beach during school, we'd go to the beach or like smoke weed in someone's car.

30:15

Or like, whatever you just like, I didn't want to be, I

30:18

haven't talked about ditching school in a while. You had to sort of figure it out though.

30:21

Like you, you definitely had a ditch schedule.

30:23

Didn't you? Like, I can't do just want to get in this week.

30:27

I really was wild with reckless abandon.

30:30

I was like, I don't have to go anywhere.

30:32

And my mom died my junior year and this sounds awful, but I would just be like, my mom's dead.

30:38

I'm sad. And people never knew what to say to me.

30:40

So I'd be like, so I get the leaf and I'd get out of things.

30:44

And then Ms. Ernstein was like, my mom's dead.

30:46

And she was like, it doesn't matter. You miss school, you have to like, there's consequences.

30:49

And then I like burst into tears and I was like, you can't make me come back here next year.

30:53

She was like, if you shut up and just come to school for the rest of the year, I will move.

30:58

I will remove two of these or whatever.

31:00

So she's the reason why I graduated.

31:02

Oh, wow. A little sympathy. I mean, you're probably telling the truth.

31:06

Yeah. I mean, it's terrible.

31:08

It sucks when your mom passed away and there was nothing there.

31:11

Like they probably, at that time at the school didn't have anything in place to help you out through that.

31:17

Did they? No, but I did have a really great guidance counselor who she like, let me sit in her office and just like talk to her a lot.

31:25

Yeah. So like that was helpful. Cause it was like, okay, there's an adult here who cares?

31:30

Right. Yeah. But it was, it was weird.

31:32

It's it's weird to deal with like, I don't know, a 16 year old who's going through who's grieving.

31:38

I mean, cause like a grieving is hard anyways.

31:40

Yeah. It's Hard as an adult. Yeah. And you, you have no control over it and it's horrendous.

31:44

And so what, what about your dad?

31:46

Was he helpful?

31:48

He was a quiet person.

31:49

I

31:49

mean,

31:49

he

31:49

wasn't

31:49

unhelpful,

31:49

but

31:49

you

31:49

know,

31:49

he

31:49

was

31:49

dealing

31:49

with

31:49

his

31:49

own

31:55

shit. Yeah. I guess nobody knows what to do.

31:57

So you, did you become a, like a, a, just a terror after that?

32:02

Ah, not a terror, but I distinctly remember.

32:07

Cause like my mom, she did most of the like curfew shit or punishment and shit.

32:13

Or like you can go here and go there. But my dad was like, all right, I got to figure out some of these rules, like what is your curfew?

32:19

And I was like midnight and my sister was like 10 and he goes, okay.

32:25

Nicole comes home at midnight. And Katherine comes home at 10 and I just don't think his like brain was like firing on all cylinders because I'm younger also like it once 10.

32:34

That's probably correct. It's definitely not correct school, but it was just funny.

32:40

We just like, my sister had, she wouldn't lie.

32:42

She would tell the truth. So she would, you know, be home at 10.

32:46

And I was like living in this weird world that I was making up, like on the fly, be like, yeah, I'm allowed to go in the city alone.

32:53

Yeah. I'm allowed to sleep with this person. So yeah.

32:55

And he's like, oh, all right. Oh

32:57

wow. So he was really kind of a, like a math brain guy checked out.

33:01

And your mom was the one who was on top of everything.

33:04

Oh my God.

33:06

Like liberated in sadness.

33:08

Angry too.

33:11

Probably. Yeah. Yeah.

33:13

Have you, you haven't dug any of that stuff up.

33:16

I mean, I have a, and I guess it was like, my mom was religious and a lot of religious people are like, oh, she's with God or whatever.

33:24

She's in a better place. And I'm like, I don't know why anybody thinks that's like a good thing to say to anybody because it's like that.

33:31

How does that comfort me?

33:33

What about the place where I was at with her?

33:35

That was a nice place. How about you come back here?

33:39

Yeah. So yeah, I guess I was angry and I truly, I think I stopped going to church and stuff.

33:42

I was like, no, this isn't for me.

33:45

Oh yeah. I never, I, I don't, I didn't, I don't find it that no one knows what to say.

33:50

You know? And it's like, they're trying to say things, you know, like her memory will be a blessing and like you'll better point.

33:56

Any of that stuff. The one that I talk about on stage Joe is the one where it's sort of like, well, you know her, she's still here, her energy that people don't leave.

34:05

Their energy is still here. And I'm like, I liked it in the human form better when it was her Weird

34:11

ghost to energy. I don't want that shit.

34:13

I want this person. I want something tangible.

34:15

Exactly. Yeah. I don't think people realize how unhelpful they are.

34:19

Like when my mom died, people kept bringing over like casseroles and shit and were like, we're not like the oven still works.

34:28

It's but it's like, it's what they want to help.

34:30

And I think it's, it's nice for them too.

34:33

That's what people do. They try to show up for you, but there's nothing anybody can do.

34:37

You're going to go through it on your own. No matter what, you know, I just got tired of crying in front of strangers.

34:41

Anybody

34:41

would

34:41

walk

34:41

up

34:41

like,

34:41

Hey,

34:41

I

34:46

heard.

34:48

Yeah. I think, yeah.

34:50

I don't think you even have to say, I heard, I think maybe you just hug somebody.

34:55

Oh, okay. But it was COVID so it was even worse.

34:57

I was just like crying on my porch in front of with exactly.

35:04

Let me know your like human touch.

35:06

That's what I need.

35:08

Yeah. Well actually I'm not great with the human touch.

35:11

So it worked out for the human touch part to, you know, when it's just a supportive and pleasant to nights.

35:19

Like, you know, I I'm, I'm going to help you out.

35:21

It's a little squirrely Fair.

35:24

Yeah. Yeah. I don't really like being Touched either.

35:26

Yeah. I don't mind making out with people. You don't know.

35:28

I don't mind that. I don't mind. That kind of touching is nice, but just to sort of like, I don't understand why what's happening now.

35:35

I'm trying to get better with human touch.

35:37

Yeah.

35:39

Like just My

35:41

best friends to share.

35:42

She was like, yeah. You know, I've talked to her.

35:45

She's one of my favorite people in the whole, She

35:47

was on here. You do a podcast with her, right?

35:49

Yeah. What'd she say? She, I told her, I was like a friend of mine told me I was, I was not very affectionate.

35:55

She was like, ah, you're not.

35:56

And I was like, I'm not. She's like, yeah.

35:59

You know, every time I try to hug you, you run away and you like, act like it's a bit.

36:01

She's like, don't think it's really a bit. And I was like, oh no, I guess it's not a bit.

36:04

So now when we hang out, I like make an effort to touch her and it's really calculate it.

36:10

Cause like, I'll be like, oh yes, touch her to say goodbye.

36:12

And I'll be like goodbye. And like lift my hand up.

36:15

And she's like, one day it'll be natural.

36:17

So I'm working on it.

36:19

It's not the impulse. So you gotta Know.

36:21

I have to like, I like that too.

36:23

I I've, I've been like that for years. Like even in like in relationships, romantic relationships, you know, like just sort of like when people snuggle, I'm sorry.

36:31

Oh Yeah.

36:33

I'm not really a snuggler either.

36:35

I'm trying to get better at it, but It's

36:38

like, it doesn't, it's supposed to feel Good.

36:39

It is supposed to feel If

36:42

it does it, if it doesn't quite feel good, what are we getting better at?

36:47

You try and you're doing it for them. And maybe you'll get used to it.

36:50

I'd like to think. I don't know. Why is it feel so fucking intrusive?

36:53

I Don't know.

36:55

Hmm. That's a Good question. Because to me, I'm just trying to figure out what is it?

36:59

What is it? Why, why do I, why does it bother me?

37:02

I don't, I'm trying to, I I've thought about it.

37:06

Maybe it's like, I guess it's cause I'm this person.

37:08

You're that person and why should we touch on?

37:12

Yeah. I also like, because of my insane kind of body image, I don't like, I don't like when people touch my body, it reminds me of my body.

37:20

Maybe that's what it is.

37:21

But I like my body.

37:24

I liked my body on and off.

37:26

But when people touch it, like, I'm like, what?

37:28

Why, what are you thinking about it?

37:31

Yeah. And the you lumpy what's going on?

37:34

Did you feel a fat roll that you didn't like?

37:36

Exactly. Yeah. That's why I don't know why I have these things.

37:41

It's cause it's cause my mom Probably.

37:45

So what happened? So your, your mom passed away.

37:48

You're 16. And did you, did you continue doing theater and stuff and Yeah,

37:53

so I told my dad, my dad wanted me to go to Rutgers Brunswick.

37:59

Yeah. And you know, state school, you get like some money or whatever.

38:03

And I said, it's not bad.

38:06

And they had Mason gross, which is like their acting program.

38:09

And I said, no, I need to go to New York city where actors go?

38:14

No, well, I tricked him.

38:16

I went to a conservatory to your conservatory that was like in conjunction with the new school university.

38:22

So I was like, I'll do my two years of conservatory and then I'll go get a Degree.

38:26

What was that? Like the conservatory.

38:28

Oh, it lays up a bunch of bull shit.

38:30

It was, I learned more at UCB than I did paying.

38:34

Just like triple the amount I paid for UCB.

38:38

What was it? Was it a traditional acting thing?

38:43

Kind of tradition, I guess.

38:44

I don't know. We did improv acting for TV and film acting for commercials and acting for the stage.

38:50

It was just like a lot of old people who are just like, you're a bad, like just mean people.

38:56

Okay. So, so it was like one of those classes where you do a scene and then everyone talks at you and they were people, they were new school people.

39:03

So Yeah. So it's the American musical and dramatic academy.

39:06

I don't say the name often.

39:07

Cause I don't want them to claim me cause they taught me nothing.

39:10

But

39:13

yeah. So like we would do these classes at work outside of class with your scene partner, present the scene and then we would talk about why it was good or why it was Bad.

39:23

Yes.

39:25

And it just, I don't know. It wasn't for me, not helpful.

39:28

It was not. And they were like, you shouldn't audition while you're here.

39:30

And it's like, but that's what we're trying.

39:33

Right. And they're like, no, you need to concentrate on your studies.

39:35

So that was like weird.

39:36

And then after I graduated, I like, I don't know.

39:40

I just like fucked around New York for a minute.

39:42

And I was like, I don't, how do you act?

39:45

I did two years of that. Two years. Wow.

39:46

And then you were commuting?

39:48

No, I lived in the city. Where'd you live in their dorms?

39:52

The Stratford arms, which was on 70th and Broadway and then moved up to, they had this like hotel that they like rented out, which is on like 92nd and F and a Broadway kitchen.

40:06

No, no, no kitchen.

40:09

It was just like this weird shared kitchen that we all had.

40:11

That was disgusting because it was like a bunch of 18 year olds who like did clean up after themselves.

40:15

And then I moved up to Harlem after I graduated and moved to like 1 46 and Broadway, then one 25th and Broadway see on Broadway, Broadway.

40:29

And it was how was it like w I don't have no sense of come my buddy teachers at Columbia.

40:33

So he's up there, but that seems way up there.

40:36

Did you like it up there? I did. I was like by Columbia.

40:38

So like one 25th and Broadway, like real Columbia territory.

40:41

I liked it.

40:43

But then I just went back and they built all these like huge fucking buildings and it just feels different.

40:48

Feel homey. It feels nasty.

40:50

I don't want to it. I don't know who lives in New York anymore.

40:53

I'm not sure what's going on there. I Don't,

40:55

it's Different. It is.

40:57

Right. But not because of COVID it was different before COVID yeah.

41:00

Yeah. It's just like, you know, little cute restaurants are closing and cute little shops.

41:05

It doesn't feel like the people that work, the people that work in the city can't live there anymore.

41:09

So you're just sort of like who, and you feel like a lot of the buildings are empty or something.

41:13

Yeah. It's weird. Cause it's like a lot of people just like holding investments.

41:16

Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. It is.

41:18

I lived on, I was a downtown guy.

41:20

I never lived uptown Downtown.

41:23

I lived on second between a and B for a couple of years, way back in the eighties.

41:27

And I had, I was at 16th and third for awhile in this old.

41:32

Yeah, those were the two primary New York residences.

41:36

So after the acting you do, you start auditioning what happens or you get that out of the acting school and you're like, I don't know how to do.

41:44

Yeah. I kind of fucked around for a while.

41:46

I was working at a, I call it lame giant.

41:48

It's a plus sized store called lane Bryant.

41:50

People

41:50

didn't

41:50

like

41:55

it. When I said it, there worked there for a little bit quit.

41:59

There was a waitress.

42:00

And then I was waitressing, horrible.

42:02

I was bad at it.

42:04

Like, I don't have a good memory.

42:06

I have ADHD. I would go to tables and forget my little pad to write things down and then they'd start ordering.

42:11

And I never knew how to be like, I won't remember this.

42:15

And I would try sometimes and I get to the computer and I'd be like, I don't know.

42:19

It's I go back to the table and be like, okay guys, second chance.

42:22

Did you want to change anything? Maybe like, no, they'd be like, okay.

42:25

Like give it to me again because I don't know.

42:27

And then I would always forget to put in like a kid's order.

42:29

So like everyone had their food and a kid would be in a corner and be sad.

42:32

I'd be like, hell no, it's the kitchen.

42:33

Like someone make chicken fingers for me.

42:35

A bad, bad waitress.

42:37

Make good money though.

42:41

How do you make good money? Being a bad waitress?

42:43

Charisma. People were like, she's funny.

42:46

Oh you did. We gotta get her out of here.

42:48

Give her enough money and she'll have to work here no more.

42:53

Okay. So you were like the fi and Deering bad waitress.

42:56

Very that people enjoyed their experiences.

43:01

But yeah, I would drop drinks all the time.

43:02

I couldn't balance a tray.

43:04

So I would bring drinks two at a time and people would be like, are you kidding?

43:08

And I'd be like, no, no one taught me how to open wine.

43:11

So I would bring a wine bottle to a table and I'd be like, there you go.

43:15

Leave the wine key there at once.

43:17

I'll never forget this. I served a table white wine.

43:21

And they were like, can we have a bucket? And I was like, you gonna drink it out of a bucket?

43:23

No,

43:23

a

43:23

bucket

43:23

with

43:26

ice. And I was like, you want, I see her.

43:28

And then I went back to my roommate, Jen, who also worked there.

43:32

And I was like, Jimmy's people want to drink their wine out of a bucket.

43:34

But they keep looking at me weird when I keep saying they want a drink out of a bucket.

43:37

And she's like to keep it chilled Nicole.

43:39

And I was like, oh, she's like, the bottle goes in.

43:42

And it blew my mind. I was like, oh, I'm so dumb.

43:45

But

43:45

then

43:45

I

43:45

found

43:45

UCB

43:45

and

43:45

then

43:45

I

43:45

Googled,

43:45

what

43:45

do

43:45

actors

43:45

do

43:45

when

43:45

they're

43:45

not

43:45

acting

43:54

really? And it was like improv. And then I looked up improv theaters and there was the pit, the magnet and UCB.

43:59

And I applied to be an intern at the pit and they rejected Me.

44:03

Who in what year is that?

44:05

This was my dad died.

44:07

And Your dad died too?

44:10

Yeah. 2010 I believe.

44:12

Cause I moved to LA and no 2008.

44:15

I think how's your mom. How's terrible.

44:17

Hold on. I have a tattoo of the day.

44:21

Okay. 2008.

44:21

It's

44:21

the

44:21

daily

44:26

dive. So I can remember because I have a terrible memory.

44:30

Yeah. Then my mom's data is on my ankle.

44:31

Truly just an awful memory.

44:34

And I was like these two dates.

44:36

I Remember how they died.

44:38

My mom had a it's called deep vein thrombosis.

44:41

So it was a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her heart and stopped her heart.

44:45

And it was just like a sudden thing and just, we didn't know it was happening.

44:49

And then my dad died of a heart attack.

44:54

Wow. How old was he?

44:56

He was 50, 56.

45:00

He wasn't 60 yet?

45:02

He was in fifties. Yeah. Both of them are young.

45:04

Both of them were in mid 50 And oh my God.

45:07

So that must've been devastating.

45:09

Yeah. It really Fucking sucks. Yeah.

45:10

Not fun. And you're just started doing improv.

45:14

Yeah. So my dad hated the city with like just, he just didn't like it.

45:19

He didn't like the people. He was like, it was too much. It's too dirty.

45:21

And I started taking classes and I asked him, I was like, will you come to my graduation show?

45:26

It would be very meaningful for me.

45:29

And he was like, okay, fine.

45:30

And then he died the third week of my class.

45:34

And then the first joke I ever wrote was, oh God, what was it?

45:39

It was, my dad would rather die than watch his daughter do object work, which was too dark for audiences.

45:47

They did not like 'cause.

45:50

Cause what was what'd you have to say they get the punch.

45:54

I had to be like, no, he died The

45:56

dead guys.

45:57

Like truly, he did not want to watch me dribble on imaginary basketball.

46:01

He did dead weight.

46:04

So weird to a pro processing grief with comedy is so it's it's necessary for us, you know?

46:13

But if you don't have the right distance from it, there's no way to do it.

46:17

You know, until you, you have a little bit, you're a little grounded.

46:21

Like if you're just sort of like, you know, I gotta do that.

46:23

You know? Like, cause if it, if you don't have any sort of closure on the feeling, people are going to know, like It's

46:34

like, oh no, she about to have a breakdown on stage.

46:39

I've had breakdowns on stage. I think when I was younger.

46:42

Sure. But it's usually anger.

46:43

It was usually like, fuck you people.

46:47

Yeah. Oh, I've done that. I got real burnt out in 2019.

46:49

Cause I was recently, yeah, I was on the road.

46:54

I would say almost every weekend of that year.

46:57

Like truly just Like hammer that special.

47:00

Well, yeah. All I was trying to sell a special in 2019.

47:03

That was the material from big, beautiful weirdo.

47:06

So half of it was in beautiful weirdo and then half of it I did during COVID.

47:11

Cause I was like, oh, I guess I gotta add a little bit of COVID stuff and things were happening.

47:15

And I was like, oh, that would be interesting to put in the special, but I was trying to sell a special in 2019, I was just getting tired audiences.

47:22

They forget that you're a person sometimes that like, if you yell at me sure.

47:28

Maybe roast Yarra or whatever.

47:29

But also like maybe I had a really bad day earlier and I just don't want to deal with that.

47:35

Right. There was one show where I, I screamed, you're all trying to break me.

47:39

And then I laid down on the floor and was like, we won't shut up if I stand that cup.

47:43

Wow. And they were like, ha ha.

47:45

I was like in my brain, I was like, I think I'm having, I don't know if I'm all right right now.

47:50

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But I Finished

47:52

the Shana's fine. Well they then probably people didn't really notice.

47:55

They're sort of like, that was interesting.

48:00

Wow. What's your audience mostly like, because you're popular.

48:04

Thank you. My audience is gay men, fat women, black women who sounds like may.

48:14

And then, well sometimes people go, you sound white or whatever, which is like, I don't know.

48:21

I'm black. So to me, I sound like a black woman who I is.

48:25

So yeah, women who've been told their whole lives that they don't sound like they're black enough or whatever.

48:31

And then women who drag their boyfriends and then their boyfriends at the meet and greet go.

48:36

I've never heard of you one day in my life, but you're pretty funny.

48:39

You should keep going. And I'm like, I've never needed that.

48:42

Thank you. Thank you.

48:44

Anonymous man. Halloween couples that want to have a threesome.

48:49

And has that happened? No, No.

48:53

It's never sexy.

48:55

After a show. We are worst.

48:57

I've I've had that happen maybe twice where you've got a couple and they're kind of like, so what are you doing?

49:02

I'm like, not this, not This I'm going to sleep.

49:04

Cause I have two shows tomorrow.

49:06

Just the idea, like what are they thinking?

49:08

I don't know.

49:09

You're just done with the show. Like go have some awkward time.

49:13

Your fucking house.

49:16

No, no thank you.

49:19

But I, I, I imagine is, did you ever do like cabaret stuff?

49:24

No. Or my jet am I being somehow generalizing?

49:27

It just seems that like the gay men audience is a very specific thing.

49:32

Yes. And sometimes I want to generalize.

49:34

Sometimes they're very unruly and really want to be part of the show, like to yell at me and stuff.

49:38

But for the most part, they're pretty well behaved.

49:42

They just say must love you. I think So

49:46

It's a good audience to have. They've got your money.

49:47

A really good Audience. Like sometimes I'll do shows and after the weekend they're like, your audience is so nice.

49:53

They tipped well, they They've

49:57

grown up people their time, their money.

49:59

They do. But also I have a podcast where I talk about bad shows and I'll be like, yeah, if you go to show you, be quiet, you tip, well, you ha the appropriate time.

50:09

He'll scream at people. So I'm like kind of trained my audience.

50:12

Although I started doing more crowd work and I'll ask a question and I'll just be met with like blinking and I'll be like, you can talk to me now I've asked you to clutch to try one respond.

50:22

I said it too many times.

50:26

Yeah. So what are the, the heavy ladies expect?

50:30

I just think the older I get, the more I'm like representation is important.

50:34

And I think it's when you're a fat woman who maybe doesn't have confidence or doesn't feel comfortable in their body, watching a woman who is pretty comfortable in their body and confident.

50:44

I think that might be like a little helpful.

50:48

You want to say inspirational?

50:49

It seems wild to say About

50:51

yourself, but people said it about you.

50:54

Yeah. People have been like, oh, you've inspired me to wear tank tops in the summer or crop tops.

50:58

And I mean, I only really started doing that in 2015 And I'm like, that's true, But

51:09

good for you for being comfortable and confident.

51:13

Yeah. So it's, it feels good when people are like, yeah, I woke up one day and was like, fuck it.

51:19

Who, How long did you have to like do work around this stuff?

51:24

Not necessarily work, but I would wear like a short sleeve cardigan or like a cap sleeve in the summer.

51:30

And then one summer I was like, I'm just hot.

51:33

And I don't think my arm fat is really that offensive or like my stomach.

51:39

I don't think that's super offensive.

51:40

And then I went to Palm Springs with her friend.

51:43

I was wearing a bikini. This older man was staring at me.

51:46

So I just looked at him and I was like, you, like what you're saying?

51:48

And then he like really had a moment.

51:52

Like I was like, oh, I think I like unlocked something in him.

51:56

Like, he was like, I do like what I say, I did break them a little bit.

51:59

And then I thought, I was like, well, if someone says something nasty to me or like stares at me, I'm like, I interrupted their day.

52:06

That means I'm like kind of powerful.

52:08

And I was like, well, that's fun.

52:11

And then people were like, you're promoting obesity.

52:12

I'm like how? I'm not getting money from big obesity.

52:15

Like nobody, like, what do you mean?

52:20

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not getting to cut.

52:24

You said go to the doctor. You're not getting a cut from the butter cake people, but promoting obesity.

52:30

That's a thing people like to say no kidding.

52:35

Yeah. That must that's.

52:38

I that's a whole different type of Karen.

52:41

It's weird because it's like, you wouldn't say to someone wearing glasses, like you're promoting glasses and it's like, nah, it's just like wear glasses.

52:47

And it's like, I just exist as a FA do you want me to knock?

52:50

Well, I think that, I think people associated with poor health.

52:53

Sure.

52:55

But I also like pull dance and shit and I'll like post those videos and I'm like, I'm strong.

53:00

Like I'm a strong person and I do move my body and I, people are, People

53:06

are just brewed it. Yeah. No question.

53:08

Did you have to like, well, I guess with when terms of like, was there a period where you needed to, did you talk to a therapist about processing stuff or never No

53:18

body? No. I, when I worked at lame giant, w where like skin tight stuff, one day, my manager was like, you know, that's not appropriate.

53:26

And I was like, this is a fat people store where the fats come and I'm fine.

53:32

You're fat. She was built like Shrek.

53:34

I loved her. She like, it just was so wild to me that she was like, that's inappropriate.

53:39

I was like, what?

53:40

That was like confused. And I was like, one of the things that like, kind of unlocked my brain, that I was like, even fat people are uncomfortable with fatness.

53:47

And it's like, it's just something that you have.

53:50

And you can change it if you want, if you don't want to like, go for walking for, to make sure your little health.

53:58

I don't know.

53:58

It's

53:58

a

53:58

lot,

53:58

there's

53:58

a

53:58

lot

53:58

of

53:58

bullshit

53:58

wrapped

53:58

up

53:58

in

53:58

bodies

53:58

and

54:05

weight. And you like that?

54:07

Yeah. The fats are coming.

54:08

No, my mother is terrified of it.

54:10

My mother was an obese young person and her reaction to that, like, she destroyed all the pictures of herself that existed of her with weight.

54:21

And she became, you know, fairly profoundly anorexic in a way, but then just sort of made it her way of life.

54:29

Like she's not inherently that unhealthy, but maintaining our weight was like her priority for most of her life that Bums

54:38

me out because it's like, She

54:40

made me crazy.

54:40

It was all about she, she once said, you know, if you were fat, I don't know if I could love you.

54:49

That's the wildest fucking thing I've ever heard.

54:52

Yeah. How interesting Because of her own her own shame, but it's Like,

54:56

if you're a nice person, he got a little bit of fat, like it's okay.

55:02

I don't know. It was, she was just so uncomfortable with everybody.

55:03

Else's fat. Interesting.

55:06

Yeah. Yeah. There you go.

55:09

Me. Oh, no.

55:10

She likes people, but it's just sort of like, in her mind, because of her feelings about her self image or whatever it was, she assumes that you must be going, you must be just feeling as bad as her.

55:24

Maybe. I don't know. I don't think about it too much.

55:26

I just worry about my own fucking food.

55:30

I mean, sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh boy, I don't like this today.

55:34

But then I'll like put on a bunch of makeup and put on a fun outfit and be like, Hmm, that was dumb earlier you look really fun.

55:42

So when did, so th the classes who was teaching there, who were the people when you were there used to be, you went through the whole thing.

55:49

So Sylvia, Sylvia, hosels. She was my first teacher.

55:52

Kevin Heinz was another teacher Porter.

55:56

Mason was another teacher or Shannon O'Neill.

55:59

Mm mm.

56:02

Who was in your classes? People we know.

56:05

No, not really. I don't think any of those people perform anymore.

56:09

Huh. But I did meet so shear through UCB Sylvia, my one-on-one teacher and my 3 0 1 teacher had to put together a group of women from different levels.

56:18

And she had me and Sasheer there.

56:19

And I remember performing with her and I was like, boy, she's cool.

56:22

Oh boy. And she's funny.

56:24

I want to make her, my friend, which is now, it feels insane that I was like, I'm going to make this woman, my friend.

56:31

Yeah. I've done that before.

56:32

It's something. I mean, it's it's you probably get, you know, one out of five, the other four are like, here's your gums.

56:40

God, Nicole's here again. And she's so happy about it.

56:46

She's going to want to talk To us. Oh, she loves talking to smiling.

56:49

I don't want it.

56:51

Yeah. But you got to cheer. Good.

56:54

Jeez. Did you guys improvise a lot together?

56:57

Yeah. We had a group called doppelganger.

56:58

It was me.

56:59

So share. And another woman Kesha Zoeller and yeah, we performed a lot for years and years and years.

57:06

And we like traveled and did festivals and stuff UCB.

57:09

So like, oh, you were an act.

57:13

We were traveling.

57:13

Sounds

57:16

insane. Doppelgangers, doppelganger.

57:18

We will go to like Canada and stuff for like Canadian festivals and, Well,

57:25

so that was your first sort of like touring stage work.

57:27

And you would do mostly sketch festivals or what were the Improv

57:32

festivals? Wow. I didn't even know they existed.

57:34

Of course they, yeah.

57:36

The one we went, but they weren't competitions.

57:39

No, but we do win best of the Fest at one of them.

57:42

I think that was the Vancouver improv festival.

57:45

I don't know if that still happens. Vancouver.

57:46

I like Vancouver too. It's a nice friendly town.

57:49

Very friendly. Yeah.

57:50

Almost too friendly. Sort of like what's going on here a little bit.

57:54

Yeah. I just, I think I do a joke up there.

57:57

It looks like the whole city was built out of a kit.

58:01

That's funny because yeah, it does.

58:03

It's just like adorable.

58:06

Yeah. Like modern general modern architecture.

58:10

Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. See improv for a while.

58:12

And are you auditioning?

58:14

Do you start to get stuff?

58:16

Yeah, so I was auditioning then the first thing I got was this Nestle commercial for Israeli Nestle.

58:25

And they flew me to Romania to shoot it.

58:32

And it was like a $5,000 buyout.

58:33

And I was like $5,000 Trip

58:37

to Rome.

58:39

It was wild. Yeah. Romania is crazy.

58:41

I, I mean, not crazy, but it was like my first time out of the country.

58:45

So it was crazy to me.

58:46

I got picked up in a Mercedes.

58:48

I didn't realize that there's so much cheaper over there.

58:50

I was like this isn't cloth seats in a Mercedes.

58:52

It's crazy.

58:53

What

58:53

kind

58:53

of

58:53

mercy

58:59

I could afford.

59:02

And I remember they like had to put me in a harness to make it look like I was flying and the stunt man was like, hello.

59:09

I mean, is it racist if I do his accent?

59:12

No. I mean, I don't, I don't think so. I don't think enough people know a Romanian accent.

59:16

Okay. And I'm probably doing a bad one, but he was like, hello.

59:18

I put the biggest amount I called find in this harness and hoisted him up.

59:22

So I know it was already for you. He was smaller than you, but I don't think you'll fall, but I was like, wow, thank you.

59:29

I didn't need to know any of that.

59:39

You're in the Harness. But also I was bigger than everybody in Romania.

59:42

They are small people.

59:44

Yeah. Everyone was so tiny. And I was like, boy, oh boy.

59:47

But also have a bad death, reception problems. Maybe it wasn't as big as I thought I was.

59:50

Yeah. I thought it was five seven until this year. I'm five five In

59:53

5, 5, 2 holes.

59:55

So what were you doing in the harness?

59:59

Oh, swinging around like a F like a ferry.

1:00:00

And they use like fishing wire to like maneuver me around and I had to help a little bit, Not

1:00:06

on the internet. I don't think it is.

1:00:08

I had it on my YouTube page and I thought it was private for a very long time.

1:00:13

And I was sitting with my friend and he was like, that's not private.

1:00:17

He's like, it's not private at all.

1:00:19

He's like, look at all the views. And I was like, oh no.

1:00:21

So then I made it private. Cause I was like, I don't need the world to see that.

1:00:24

And

1:00:24

then

1:00:24

I

1:00:24

it's

1:00:24

a

1:00:24

wild

1:00:29

commercial. It's truly wild.

1:00:31

And then one of like the very first like TV jobs I got, I was really like little, like there was a website called gesture jacks or so I don't know, like little comedy videos here and there.

1:00:44

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah. W Josh, Josh.

1:00:46

Josh shot Jack. Yeah.

1:00:48

I remember when they started that, it was like, they tried to get everybody on board.

1:00:52

I remember they approached everybody.

1:00:53

Reggie Watts, Sarah Silverman.

1:00:55

Those were like the core people, but I don't did it go anywhere?

1:00:59

I don't remember it. It was around for a little bit.

1:01:02

And then it went away. I don't have any of those.

1:01:04

I can't remember. Yeah. I remember there was like meetings at P it was one of the like, cause I noticed that about like a lot of the stuff you do is you definitely have the age of like new media business.

1:01:13

But I remember Josh was the first sort of like, you know, you know, they were trying to make a, a comedy content mill that was like funny or die.

1:01:22

I don't know which was first or what Was

1:01:25

first and then college humor then funnier.

1:01:27

Right. Because Jess just sort of like didn't.

1:01:30

Yeah. I don't think they ever really found their footing.

1:01:33

Right. But I remember I went to a meeting there.

1:01:35

They had a building had money at the beginning, right.

1:01:39

Yeah. Yeah. So you did stuff for them?

1:01:41

Yeah. A couple of videos here and there then UCB, we would do videos and then means the shear did videos.

1:01:46

And then I got a, just a real bit part on 30 rock and I was like, she's a truly, I'm in the tag of an episode.

1:01:53

So like you blink, you'll miss it. Like, my grandmother was like, you're excited about that.

1:01:57

And I was like, bitch. Yes.

1:01:58

And

1:01:58

then

1:01:58

I

1:01:58

got

1:01:58

girl

1:01:58

code

1:01:58

on

1:01:58

MTV

1:01:58

and

1:01:58

then

1:01:58

things

1:01:58

started

1:02:05

happening. Yeah. That was on those talking head ones where it was girls talking.

1:02:11

I'm talking about like periods are like, oh my God.

1:02:14

When, when is he your boyfriend?

1:02:17

Yeah. Themes that never go bad that never go away.

1:02:21

Correct. Always a constant.

1:02:24

It never Expires. So you were one among many.

1:02:28

Yeah. There was 10 of us. I think something like that.

1:02:30

And I auditioned for it and I didn't, I like watching episode of guy coach and be like, okay, I get the show.

1:02:37

And I was like, I don't know what this audition is going to be like, cause it's just talking.

1:02:40

So then I did the audition I was talking and I was like, I think I did bad.

1:02:44

And then my manager called and was like, no, you got it.

1:02:47

And I was like, oh, okay.

1:02:49

And I had moved to LA at that point, for whatever reason, they flew me back to New York to shoot it.

1:02:54

We just sat in front of a green screen and there are green screens in LA, but they said, no, thank You

1:02:59

was in LA. Well, there's one In

1:03:01

Santa Monica. There's an office there, but they flew me all the way to New York.

1:03:06

And they might've been competing. The two offices that was passed out of New York.

1:03:11

I don't know. You never know.

1:03:12

And

1:03:12

then

1:03:12

how

1:03:12

long

1:03:12

was

1:03:12

that

1:03:17

gone? For what? I think maybe two, Three

1:03:19

years. So you'd do a bunch and they put it in the can and then you'd never know it.

1:03:24

Just show up in different episodes.

1:03:27

What you said, what make it until whatever.

1:03:29

But you're picking up some traction.

1:03:31

Well, a bit of traction. I didn't know how many episodes I was doing.

1:03:35

Cause I never asked questions.

1:03:36

I booked this one comedy central commercial where they were like, meet us at 54th and Broadway or eighth or whatever and get in this van and we'll take you upstate.

1:03:43

And that's what we're shooting. I didn't ask a single question.

1:03:46

And I was like, it was comedy central.

1:03:48

Who Knows? I was like, you could murder somebody this way.

1:03:51

Like what Do

1:03:52

people that way?

1:03:54

But Yeah, didn't ask a single question. And finally I was like, how many episodes am I doing?

1:03:57

They're like all of them. And I was like, really?

1:03:59

Oh wow. That's a treat. I like this MTV for no money.

1:04:03

I mean, It

1:04:06

Was no, It's not, it's not an unknown thing.

1:04:11

It's wild. How little they pay. I don't want to shit on them because they did give me an Opportunity.

1:04:14

That's what they hang over.

1:04:16

Yes. They're like it's exposure. And you're like, okay.

1:04:18

And I did say in one episode I was like, it's funny, I'm on television.

1:04:22

And I still babysit to pay my bills.

1:04:25

And they thought that was funny and left that in an episode.

1:04:28

I was like, I that's not, I don't think that's funny.

1:04:33

Yeah. It's not good. It doesn't make you look good.

1:04:35

The network.

1:04:37

Yeah. I babysat for a very Long time.

1:04:39

That was 2013.

1:04:42

Yeah. Huh? Like I have no idea what happened.

1:04:44

Like cause because again, my, the age difference is enough for me to like, I don't even know what MTV was on MTV.

1:04:52

Oh, you got your teen moms. You got your Jersey shore ridiculousness.

1:05:00

No music anymore. No, it's Gone.

1:05:01

It's been gone. Oh yeah.

1:05:03

Yeah. No, I know. I know.

1:05:05

But by the time you were there, there's no music, no music.

1:05:08

All funny, weird reality shows.

1:05:10

So what happens after, how do you start?

1:05:13

Do you start getting recognized on the street and stuff?

1:05:16

Yeah. Which was Very, very, very strange.

1:05:19

People are like, I know you're from Gaga and I'd be like, oh my God.

1:05:22

Okay. Hi.

1:05:22

And

1:05:22

then

1:05:22

people

1:05:22

would

1:05:22

be

1:05:22

like,

1:05:22

I

1:05:22

want

1:05:22

a

1:05:25

picture. And I didn't realize how excited people get when they see someone from TV.

1:05:32

Like it was overwhelming at First

1:05:34

or shaking in Front of you.

1:05:36

And then I started doing stand up specifically because colleges were like, oh, this is a popular show.

1:05:44

Kids like it, the cast members could come to stand up.

1:05:47

And I was like, I could do a sketch and improv. And my manager at the time was like, no, learn how to do stand up.

1:05:51

And I was like, Oh,

1:05:53

This person, I do not work with any and did poorly.

1:05:58

But the one good thing he did say to me was like, people are offering you money and it's as if you're not walking to the table to pick it up.

1:06:07

So learn how to do it.

1:06:10

And he's like, if you don't love doing it, you don't have to do it.

1:06:12

But like, you might like it, you like performing.

1:06:14

I was like, okay. And it's colleges.

1:06:16

Yeah. So, yeah. And he kind of, I don't want to say you can be shitty at a college, but there's a little bit of a grace period because it's like, I was 22, 23, they're 18.

1:06:28

We're kind of at the same pinnacle.

1:06:32

And also like those crowds, a lot of them are too young to go out and do other things.

1:06:35

And you know, sometimes their lunchtime shows are weird, you know?

1:06:40

And they don't really know. They're like, they're like newbies to life and it's their first time away.

1:06:45

So there was a vulnerability there. They're not, they're not going to buoy you.

1:06:48

No,

1:06:48

but

1:06:48

some

1:06:48

of

1:06:48

them

1:06:48

do,

1:06:48

I've

1:06:48

had

1:06:48

some

1:06:48

real

1:06:48

bad

1:06:48

shows,

1:06:48

but

1:06:55

Cause of what bad eggs in the audience, just, They're

1:06:57

just like, we don't want jokes. We want you to talk to us.

1:07:00

Like it was, I think it was Louisiana and went to a show there where they just weren't into jokes.

1:07:06

And then I did some crowd work, had a kid come on stage.

1:07:08

They like love that. And I was like, can I go back to my material?

1:07:10

And they're like, whatever. I went back to material and they're like, no.

1:07:13

So then I was like, oh, I'll just talk to you then.

1:07:15

And then they loved that. So it's like, you just got to figure it out sometimes just Crowd

1:07:19

work. So wait, did you go out and do Clubs?

1:07:22

So I started doing colleges and then I started doing clubs and clubs or Stand

1:07:31

up. I do, I

1:07:33

do. I don't love a club.

1:07:34

I like in the beginning, I think I still have like PTSD from the beginning of doing it because real adults didn't know who I was.

1:07:42

So it was just people coming to see whatever comics is there for the weekend.

1:07:45

And sometimes when you're in a Republican city, some, you know, like quite Republican people will go, oh, I don't want to hear the opinions of a black woman.

1:07:56

Who's opinionated and has a point of view or whatever.

1:07:59

And I would get heckled by them sometimes.

1:08:01

And like, get like, I got into an altercation with a couple people where I'm like, what is it?

1:08:06

Is it? You don't like me now.

1:08:08

Great. You can leave. No.

1:08:09

Oh, well we're at a crossroads here.

1:08:13

You don't want to leave. I don't want you here.

1:08:15

You have to go. And then it's like, I got to spend my set yelling at people, But

1:08:21

you couldn't get to the bus. They wouldn't cop to what the hell the problem was.

1:08:24

There was one incident where I knew if I brought up money with this man, it would really make him angry.

1:08:30

I said, I make too much money to deal with you.

1:08:32

You have to go. Right.

1:08:34

And then he finally left and then I asked them, Andrew, I was like, did he bring up money again?

1:08:39

And she was like, he did. I was like, did he call me a Slayer?

1:08:42

She was like, he did.

1:08:43

And I was like, yeah, it's exactly what I thought it was.

1:08:46

So dealing with that early on was a lot.

1:08:51

And these were, you could tell which towns you, I mean, it was definitely a regional thing.

1:08:55

So you do the colleges and you do a lot of them and then you, and then the manager is sort of like, well, I can get you on the road.

1:09:03

And then a headlining headlining probably at the point where I shouldn't have been Headlining.

1:09:08

You probably got like what? 40 minutes maybe.

1:09:11

Yeah. And then you stretch and you try to do different than it was.

1:09:16

That's it like, look, I, I w I, at another point in my life, I would've been more critical of that birth into comedy because it was really sort of like the idea, what your manager said about leaving money on the table.

1:09:27

If you can pull this off because of your recognition factor.

1:09:30

But I mean, working for kids and, you know, playing with college kids is one thing.

1:09:34

But doing the real road is like another, but yeah, but it sounds like you learned your lesson.

1:09:39

Somehow. I did what I ended up doing.

1:09:41

Cause I was like, huh, be shows go differently than my college shows.

1:09:44

And I was like, they know me.

1:09:47

So they're giving me a little bit of grace like this where people who don't know me are like, go fuck yourself, bitch.

1:09:53

This isn't funny. So then I would do shows during the week in LA to be like, these people like me, hopefully the people on the road will like me.

1:10:02

Yeah. So it was a backwards way to get into it.

1:10:05

But I knew at some point I had to get good or like figure out how to have a point of view and like, what do I want to say now?

1:10:14

I love it. Now. I love doing standup.

1:10:16

I like doing theaters.

1:10:18

I did the Wilbur in Boston.

1:10:21

Oh boy, what a fucking dream man.

1:10:25

It was nice. Boston is such a good, I love Boston.

1:10:29

Well, it's a good town. Like I lived there for years.

1:10:31

I started doing comedy in Boston and you know, there's, it's weird town.

1:10:36

It's a little more segregated than you'd think.

1:10:40

But, but like they have that student population of about a quarter of a million every year, which gives you the illusion of a, of a, of a, of a progressive metropolis.

1:10:50

But there's pretty good Duggan communities there.

1:10:54

And people are excited and it's a good audience town.

1:10:57

Yeah. I like them. I do like some clubs helium in.

1:10:59

Portland's really good to me. I love them.

1:11:03

What about Denver? You do comedy work. Oh, I fucking love comedy works.

1:11:07

I had some of the best shows in my fucking life that like, people were just so nice.

1:11:13

Yeah. And you like feel the energy.

1:11:14

It's so good. And then the DC improv is also, That's

1:11:19

a good room when you do Acme.

1:11:20

Not in Minneapolis, but you're doing theater.

1:11:24

Well, I would like just like transition to doing like small theaters.

1:11:27

I just there's like something about somebody paying like a little bit extra and then there's no food minimum And

1:11:34

they're there to see you specifically. All of them.

1:11:36

No, one's wandering into a theater saying who's here tonight.

1:11:44

Yeah. So the point of view kind of evolves because it seems like you're a fully sort of formed comedic personality.

1:11:50

I think so. And you either like it or you don't like it and that's fine with me.

1:11:53

You

1:11:53

know,

1:11:53

people

1:11:53

criticize

1:11:53

my

1:11:53

special

1:11:53

a

1:11:53

little

1:11:53

bit,

1:11:53

but

1:11:53

also

1:11:53

people

1:11:53

seem

1:11:53

to

1:11:53

really

1:11:59

Like it. And when I say bad about It, oh, they're just like, you're not funny or whatever, but also I'm like, did you watch enough that a candidate of you?

1:12:07

Cause that's nice.

1:12:10

Yeah. Thank you.

1:12:11

So you just keep doing a lot of TV bits here and there.

1:12:17

And you had your own show.

1:12:20

I did. I had my own show. It's called loosely.

1:12:22

Exactly. Nicole. It was on MTV.

1:12:23

Then it was on Facebook watch and about six people watched it, but I'm proud of it.

1:12:29

I, I thought it was a very With

1:12:31

other people. Yeah. I had a show runner and then this guy, Christian, he wrote the pilot, co-wrote the pilot.

1:12:37

And then we had room and it was fun to be in a room and to learn how that was.

1:12:42

I

1:12:42

learned

1:12:42

about

1:12:45

titles. I thought story editors were like the people who figured out story as opposed to no, no, you've just been in a room and now that's your title bump.

1:12:51

So I learned about that.

1:12:53

I learned how to break story. I learned how to outline.

1:12:55

I learned when you go off and script and stuff, it was really, really like interesting and fun.

1:13:02

Yes. I really loved it. But it's interesting that, that it was like Facebook red.

1:13:06

Is that what it was? Or what? Facebook watch like that didn't happen.

1:13:10

Did it?

1:13:12

I mean, they had it, but it was really hard to find on Facebook.

1:13:15

Yeah. I, there was just all these weird things. I remember them coming up and being like, well, this is the new thing it's like, is it though?

1:13:24

Well, I feel like everyone said that about Netflix, but Netflix is like, we're here to stay.

1:13:28

What's that place that I gave was did they say that about Netflix?

1:13:31

Because Netflix, I

1:13:33

was just excited When

1:13:35

they switched totally to streaming, it just sort of evolved.

1:13:37

I just remember I was excited to be able to rent DVDs.

1:13:41

Me too. It was nice. They come right to your house.

1:13:46

I don't, I can't. It's interesting. Cause I can't really remember what the transition to streaming felt like.

1:13:53

I feel like it was just a lot of people being like, oh no, it's a day Where

1:13:55

you're like, all right, so now I just it's just on the TV.

1:14:00

Yeah. It was like, you just turn it on. It's there.

1:14:01

Well, not on the TV was on the computer, The

1:14:04

computer. Right? Cause it was Like a computer first.

1:14:07

And then, then it transitions to be like, you can put it on your TV.

1:14:10

Yeah. These Monumental shifts in the way we see everything happen.

1:14:15

And I'm sorta like, what day was that?

1:14:19

Yeah. It was a weird gradual thing.

1:14:22

And now you're you have a hit show on Netflix.

1:14:25

Yeah. Which is really fucking cool.

1:14:27

It's hard. It doesn't Happen

1:14:29

much. No it doesn't. And They

1:14:32

seem to keep doing it. Yeah. People like it, it was funny because they were like it's Greenland or like okay.

1:14:38

And I was like, I don't really know how to host.

1:14:39

I don't know anything about baking. And then the show came out, no billboards, nothing.

1:14:44

And then people just fucking found it.

1:14:46

And I don't know how, and then it really snowballed into this like really like it's a thing it's and there's other shows that are definitely like inspired by it, which is like really cool.

1:14:56

And then I got nominated for an Emmy and I was like, oh my God.

1:15:00

So now I get to Liz to roup hall every year, which is honestly very cool.

1:15:07

I mean, we're Not like friends, but I've gotten to be on drag race.

1:15:10

And Rue is a very kind person and funny, like just so funny.

1:15:16

Yeah. So you do out of the acting, but th the thing about hosting, it's very specific thing.

1:15:21

It's a skill. So you realize at some point, because like when, when I started doing comedy, when people do, I was talking about this to my producer, there was a time where game show host was a specific job in entertainment, on television.

1:15:34

Primarily there was, there was game shows.

1:15:36

There was a lot of them, most of them were broadcasters of some kind.

1:15:39

But now these shows have evolved to a point where the host is half the show.

1:15:44

It tends to be usually they were just driving the thing and they could be funny.

1:15:48

But now it's like, Yeah.

1:15:50

They're like, we want you to help shape what this show is because they had an idea.

1:15:54

They just didn't know what they like, how to, not, how to execute The

1:15:58

guest, a guest celebrity.

1:15:59

And you have the regular chef.

1:16:02

Yes. And then you have the people and the celebrities either going to just chime in or not.

1:16:08

They're

1:16:08

like,

1:16:13

yeah. Do I have anything else? That day?

1:16:16

Kind of in the beginning, people were just like, what is this?

1:16:19

And we add more culinary people in the beginning.

1:16:22

And now it's transitioned to more like actors COMEX, ASAP Ferg was on an episode.

1:16:29

And he truly was like, I don't know, a friend of mine said, this was funny.

1:16:32

So I came, I was like, fuck.

1:16:34

And then he, he was so fun, but yeah, it's been interesting.

1:16:38

It's a it's I'm having.

1:16:40

And what about the other one you've done now? You're like you hosted another one too.

1:16:44

Swipe out with John Siena that keeps going.

1:16:47

Yeah. The new season premiers.

1:16:49

I should know this, But

1:16:52

that's one of those ones where people like aren't you got to make it to the other side without hurting your balls.

1:16:57

Yes. And then yeah. Yeah.

1:16:59

And it really tries to hurt you.

1:17:01

And the way some of these people fall, I'm like, oh boy, will you be okay?

1:17:06

But

1:17:06

it

1:17:06

is

1:17:06

wild

1:17:06

to

1:17:06

watch

1:17:06

these

1:17:06

people

1:17:06

do

1:17:06

the

1:17:06

obstacle

1:17:11

course. Cause there's obstacle course people.

1:17:13

I got a friend that's this thing.

1:17:15

Really? Yeah. A grown-up person.

1:17:17

He does obstacle courses and they have teams and stuff.

1:17:21

Mud bikes.

1:17:24

Yeah. All that I could never know too hard.

1:17:27

Yeah. I asked to do the obstacle course and they were like, maybe, and then I dislocated my ankle and I was like, this is a sign from whoever's out there that I shouldn't do that.

1:17:38

Oh, you get to a certain age where it's sort of like, if you're going to hurt yourself, really, you know, consider it ma I don't know, like the older we get, you gotta, you gotta be, you gotta train to do shit And

1:17:50

you got to stretch real fucking good.

1:17:51

And then he got stretched. Good.

1:17:53

After I know. Yeah.

1:17:55

I worked out this morning. I did stretch after.

1:17:57

Oh, No, mom.

1:17:58

I don't know. What's going to have going to be sore.

1:18:00

You're going to be sore tomorrow.

1:18:04

Always. I learned how to do a headstand the other day and I did not stretch very well afterwards and now I'm just very sore in the shoulders.

1:18:13

Oh yeah. Yeah.

1:18:14

So the, now you're, now you're doing a straight up sitcom, the grand view, grand Cru, Cru.

1:18:24

You see, It's

1:18:26

like a real network. It's I've watched. I watched a bit of three there's only three up right now.

1:18:31

And I don't know why Garrett Morris doesn't open all the shows.

1:18:37

I, I mean, I don't know either, but yeah, I was there.

1:18:41

I was there when he did it. It's funny. He's great.

1:18:43

And very kind and really nice Though.

1:18:46

The way he delivered, I thought this guy is like this guy, he's going to present all of it, but that's it.

1:18:52

Is he out? That's it.

1:18:53

He doesn't come back. Maybe he comes back next season.

1:18:56

I mean, hopefully we get a second season and shot.

1:19:00

We shot 10 and it was great.

1:19:03

My friend, Phil Jackson created it.

1:19:05

We used to do improv in New York together.

1:19:07

And it was just surreal to be able to like create a fucking network show with like a good friend that I came up with and echo Callum.

1:19:15

Who's also on the show who plays my brother.

1:19:16

We were on a sketch team for four years together, out here.

1:19:19

And then Carl tart was also on the show.

1:19:21

We've done improv together at UCB.

1:19:24

Aaron Jennings was on the show. He was on loosely.

1:19:26

Exactly. Nicole, my show on MTV. So like I knew him a little bit.

1:19:29

And then Justin Cunningham and Gracie Mercedes, I didn't know, but like truly are great.

1:19:34

They're just nice people who are nice to work with.

1:19:37

Everyone's nice. Are you part of the creator or, you Know,

1:19:41

Phil? He created it and then James, I was cast he, but he wrote it for me.

1:19:48

Well, yeah, it seems like a fun show where people are just young people going through life, Going

1:19:53

through a live, learning about a love, having a good time, Drinking

1:19:57

the wine. Oh, who doesn't love wine.

1:19:59

I drank a lot of wine last night. Did you?

1:20:02

Yeah. How was it? It was good.

1:20:05

But then I got home and I burnt a okay.

1:20:07

I put, so I forgot.

1:20:09

I need to put it, like if I use parchment paper, you gotta put it in the middle and not close to the top.

1:20:14

Or like the fire is Burns.

1:20:17

Oh it burned. And I opened the oven.

1:20:19

I was like, it's smoky in here.

1:20:20

And I opened the oven and I was like, the pizza is fully on fire.

1:20:23

And I was like, oh no.

1:20:25

Don't if you got a fire extinguisher. And I was like, oh no, just turn off the source of the fire and close it.

1:20:30

So it can't get oxygen to get bigger.

1:20:32

Then I was like, what are you doing?

1:20:35

You got to go sleep.

1:20:36

Almost

1:20:36

burned

1:20:36

your

1:20:38

house. Now you got to sleep. Throw That pizza, throw it Away

1:20:41

and go right to bed. Your punishment is no pizza.

1:20:45

And you fucked that up.

1:20:46

So now have you been, are you done with standup for the time being or what?

1:20:56

I was supposed to do a show earlier this month to like test out a new hour to like go tour with it.

1:21:00

But that guy canceled because of a yeah.

1:21:04

Omari on or whatever. I'm the Cron, whatever.

1:21:07

But so you have a new hour. When was big, beautiful weirdo was that last year, two years ago, I

1:21:12

shot that September labor day of last year.

1:21:17

And you already got a new hour About,

1:21:18

I say like 45 Minutes.

1:21:20

We've been working that out Around

1:21:22

town. I've been working at like 15 minute increments.

1:21:25

So like I opened for Nick Kroll and I did 10 and then I opened for TIG and then did that 10 again.

1:21:34

I was like, oh, now it's 15. Yeah. And then someone else gave me 20 minutes on another show.

1:21:39

And then I was like, oh, okay. So now I've like made that 10 is now 20 and then I've added some to it.

1:21:46

So I think now it's probably like 25 and then I have like a half hour of old stuff that I had and folded back in until I get like a full hour that I'm happy with.

1:21:57

Yeah. It's I don't wanna, I

1:22:00

don't know. It feels weird to be like, come see me.

1:22:03

Maybe you'll die.

1:22:05

I know I'm about to go out. I don't know.

1:22:07

I I've been doing the store though.

1:22:09

Like every night I don't, I there's some part of me that's sort of like, fuck it.

1:22:12

You know what I mean? I've done all I can.

1:22:14

Are we just going to stay in the house?

1:22:17

I can't, I

1:22:20

guess not. I don't know.

1:22:21

I get like, we, I don't know.

1:22:23

I've been doing outside shows.

1:22:25

Yeah. I didn't do any of those.

1:22:26

I

1:22:26

just

1:22:26

wouldn't

1:22:26

do

1:22:29

it. Fuck That. Well, I just, it felt like, it just felt like too much of a compromise, like even during the peak COVID I was like, I can't like, I can't bring myself to, you know, I love comedy.

1:22:41

I don't care if it's during COVID I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever do it again.

1:22:44

I w I literally had that thought of like, maybe I'm all better.

1:22:47

Maybe, Maybe

1:22:49

I don't, maybe I don't need to leave my house at night to get on stage in front of people and be like, can you please laugh at me so I can sleep tonight?

1:22:58

Exactly. But, but the outdoor shows just felt like doing one night or so.

1:23:01

Like when I was just starting out, when you do anything, that's how they felt to me.

1:23:06

It's like, I'll do anything and I wasn't going to do it fair.

1:23:10

Yeah. And you did it denim.

1:23:11

You liked it.

1:23:13

Yeah. Ish. Well, I was just like, I need to figure this out.

1:23:16

And this might be the future.

1:23:18

Maybe we're all just going to be outside forever.

1:23:22

Also. I was, I don't know. I was taking COVID real sick, cause like I smoke or I used to smoke.

1:23:27

I quit.

1:23:31

No, no, I quit.

1:23:32

I quit on the third Better.

1:23:35

I quit years ago, I was on nicotine lozenges for over a decade.

1:23:39

I loved him. And that was, I haven't smoked in a long time, but I it's only been a couple of years off the nicotine.

1:23:46

I mean, it is tough.

1:23:48

I read this book and was just like, you're addicted to the book.

1:23:52

The easy way to quit by Alan Carr. You

1:23:54

read it. I did Not.

1:23:57

I mean, kind of in a way where, like in the book he's like people leave and they never want to touch a cigarette.

1:24:03

Again. I finished the book and I was like, okay, I get it.

1:24:06

I would love to touch the cigarette again.

1:24:08

I would love to fucking smoke, but like, it's not helpful.

1:24:11

Not good.

1:24:13

It's not good for anything. No. And then people were like, you're stinky.

1:24:16

I'm like, am I am? I'm like, yeah.

1:24:19

Okay. No one smokes anymore. It's not cool.

1:24:21

Nothing not cool at all.

1:24:23

I gotta go smoke outside beeping.

1:24:25

It's not for me. What is in That?

1:24:27

I don't know.

1:24:29

And for whatever reason, I was like, vaping seems worse than an actual cigarette.

1:24:32

Yeah. So I was like, I'll just keep stalking them. But now I done Good.

1:24:35

And what'd you replace it with nothing?

1:24:38

Yeah. Yeah. Aggravated, how long has it been?

1:24:39

The Third? What is Today?

1:24:41

The third. Yeah. Today's The

1:24:43

10th. So it's seven days. Yeah.

1:24:45

Oh, so you just in it.

1:24:47

Oh, okay.

1:24:50

Yeah.

1:24:52

Well, you're managing pretty well.

1:24:55

Well, it feels insane. Cause like I have like routines, like if someone was at my house, we would hang out or whatever, when they would leave I to have a cigarette before bed, I would have a cigarette.

1:25:03

So like now before bed, I'm like, what do I do?

1:25:05

They're just like stare at my wall until I fucking fall asleep.

1:25:09

I write Well

1:25:11

now w well you tried to eat a pizza.

1:25:13

It sounds right. Yeah.

1:25:14

And then You

1:25:16

get smoke going though.

1:25:17

So this just tells me that all these, how many podcasts you do nine.

1:25:24

So there's why won't you date me best friends with since years, the Meda 90 day bay with my friend Marcy, where we talk about 90 day fiance and the newcomers with Warren lap guests, where we talk about movies.

1:25:37

I just heard some New Jersey.

1:25:42

Will you talk? It comes out every now and again.

1:25:45

Let

1:25:45

me

1:25:45

talk

1:25:45

about,

1:25:49

Yeah, I heard it. Yeah. Are these are weekly?

1:25:52

Yeah. Oh see you busy.

1:25:53

All right. That's good.

1:25:55

Are you happy? I think I'm happy.

1:25:58

Who's

1:25:58

to

1:25:58

say,

1:25:58

I

1:25:58

guess

1:25:58

me

1:25:58

the

1:25:58

last

1:26:03

Word on that.

1:26:03

I'm happy.

1:26:06

Good. Well, it's nice meeting you. Nice talking to you.

1:26:09

Okay.

1:26:09

That

1:26:09

was

1:26:16

Nicole. Always funny.

1:26:18

Always going again.

1:26:21

Her series grand crew is on NBC new episodes.

1:26:24

On Tuesday nights, you can see her on all of the episodes have nailed it on Netflix or standup special hour podcasts, but it was a lovely to talk to her.

1:26:33

And a reminder, this podcast is sponsored by better help.

1:26:36

Online therapy, better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat with your therapist.

1:26:42

It's more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist and under 48 hours, give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used better help online therapy and WTF listeners get 10% off their first [email protected] slash WTF.

1:26:57

That's better. H E L p.com/wtf.

1:29:25

Our lives monkey, the Fonda cat angels everywhere.

1:29:32

Hey, folks. Don't fast forward. Hear me out. Will you? Just listen to me for a second. I may be coming to a place that close to you. My tour is on. I've gotten no information that would lead me to believe that any of these dates are going to be canceled. You can go to WTF pod dot com slash tour to see where I'm gonna be and if you can coped. Especially right now, the first few dates coming up are January twenty seventh in Santa Barbara at the Lobaro Theatre, Sam Lewis Abisbo California at the Fremont on January twenty eighth. The Palace of Fine Arts for the nine thirty show in San Francisco, there's still a few tickets there, and I'll be at the Uptown Theatre in Napa, California on January thirtieth. I'll be in San Diego, California on February eleventh at the Observatory North Park for two shows, a six thirty PM and a nine fifteen PM. PM. All right, for all other dates, go to WTF, pod.com/tour and see what you can find nothing's canceled Alright. For all other dates, go to WTF pod dot com slash tour and see what you can find. Nothing's canceled yet. Also it's time to bring your creative ideas to it's time to bring your creative ideas to life. Get started with space. Squarespace's dynamic all-in-one platform provides all the tools that you need to establish your online Squarespace's dynamic all in one platform provides all the tools you need to establish your online presence. Build a website, get a domain, sell products online and market your brand with Squarespace's cutting edge, easy to use products, head to squarespace.com/wtf for a free build website, get a domain, sell products, online and market your brand with Squarespace's cutting edge easy to use products. Head to squarespace dot com slash WTFRA trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code WTF to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or when you're ready to launch. Use the offer code WTF to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain seen. Yes. Let's do the show. Alright, let's do this are you? What the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fuck tuplets? What the fuck How's it going? I'm Mark Maron. This is my podcast. How are you? Have you gotten over your Omicron yet? Have you gotten over your COVID yet? Have you got the COVID? How are things out there? Are you freaking out? Are we freaking out? Is anything getting better? I don't know. I don't know. My guess today is Nicole Byer. People love Nicole Bayer. Everybody seems to love Nicole Byer. She's the host of Nailed it on Netflix. standup special, I believe it's on Netflix as well. She's got four different podcasts going or or Wipeout, which is a gay game show she hosts as well. Lots of other things. Because She's she's everywhere. She's all places, Nicole Byer. She's on this new NBC series crew. And she'll also be hosting the critics choice awards with Kay Diggs. And I talked to her today. I talked to her. So when I spoke to you on what is it? Last week, last Thursday, I told you that I was planning on going to Bob Saggots funeral going to the cemetery. I don't do that. And I've had a realization as of late It's not the it's not policy, but I haven't found myself in funerals, and I've lost a lot of people that I know that are close to me. And either they're it would be a travel situation or I'm on the road or whatever. I just felt the need a deep need to go to Bob Saggart's funeral because Bob Saggart was a great guy. We weren't best friends, but the times that we did talk and the times we did hang out, just a just a loving person and I'm gonna miss him. And think when think about him, it makes me sad, and I miss him. I wanted to go for closure. I wanted to go to the funeral, and I went. And it was a lovely service. Rabbi was funny, killed, had a great joke right right out of the gate. I think the joke was someone, it's somewhere along the lines of he said, like, if I'm sure if Bob were here, he'd be wondering the same thing. We're we are we're all wondering why. Why? Why couldn't it have been Stamos? Very funny. Coped with it. Strong. But it wasn't obviously, it wasn't a comedy show and it was a bit It was heavy, it was sad, and the canter sang the songs the canter sing in the Hebrew. You got to wear the yamikas. And his daughter spoke and it was just devastating. And some of his friends spoke at the funeral and his wife spoke and it just they feel all that grief, the weight of standup then to kinda sit in that space. And that that that cemetery is very close to me. I drive by it all time. And then it was interesting because I I still find I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Do you know what I mean? This like, this funeral was so pleasant. And so clearly, this guy lived the life he wanted to live and loved and and had people that loved him I can't even imagine what my friend will be. It's gonna be a lot of people saying, like, most people didn't really know Maron way I knew him, but he was a, you know, he was good guy. He could be difficult, you know, nine people in room. They had the cars all parked in line so everyone could kind of leave the parking lot in a procession, right, to go to the the burial site. And I was about three lines in, you know, they were lined up. And there there were people cutting. There were people you know, pulling out of their line to to go on the procession, you know, before their turn. And And I I immediately was like, you know, fuck. What the fuck is that guy doing? What the fuck? Like, what's the hurry? But I still had that impulse. Like, these people are cheating. You know, they're gonna get what? What are they gonna get? They're not gonna put them in the ground without everybody. I just have to I have to check myself, man. But it was heavy, man. It was obviously heavy, but it was like I said, the service was beautiful. People were there for it. And I watched them, you know, put him in the And I watch them, you know, put him in the ground. And I drive by that exit and by that, like, I see that sanitary from my hike three days a week. And I was driving back from the comedy store. I actually went and did comedy the night of the funeral, and it was not good, too raw, couldn't speak from the right place. And I drive past it almost daily that cemetery and I just couldn't wrap my brain around the idea as I was driving home, like, on Friday night, that a week ago, Friday, Saggot was home in his house. Living his life. And I just saw them put him in the ground right over there. He was in his house, in his bed. Now he's in the ground right over there. I can't I can't get that out of head. And I'm gonna miss knowing he's alive in world. I really am. Something happened the other night with taste today. Monday, Saturday night, I had a spot at the Coped Store nine fifteen. And Jeff Ross, you know, texted me that that he and John Mayer and Chappell we're gonna take over the belly room, which is the small room upstairs. It seats about eighty maybe in the comedy store for, you know, just for to blow up some steam for Saggots family and friends. So is this little kind of private show upstairs? He said, look, I'm gonna tell John Maron. gonna bring another guitar if you wanna hang out. And they're still part of me. It's sort of like, nah, this is a setup. But Jeffrey Ross has been very nice to me and he seems to look out for me and he wants to make sure I'm part of things. So but I get to the comedy store and, you know, I'm waiting around to do my spot to run-in a little late and people are starting to come for that show. I see Jeff and I talked to him for a while and then lot of other people that, you know, you know, I saw them at the funeral as well, but, you know, his family's coming know, as his daughter show up who I've never met, and Jeff introduced me to his daughters. And one of his daughters said my father liked you a lot. And I just like, you know, got choked up. And I'm like, I gotta I guess, I gotta go play guitar. Now I did bring two picks with Now, I did bring two picks with me because, like, all I could think of is, like, there's, I'm not it's not gonna be some I'm not gonna have to get on stage and, you know, go toe to toe with John Mayer. It just be might be fun to play a little guitar with John Mayer even for a few minutes because he's still fucking good. But just in case I threw the picks in my pocket. I don't know. I went up there and I was just watching the back of the room after I did my sat and Chappelle looks in the back of the I went up there, and I was just watching from the back of the room after I did my set. And Chappell looks in the back of the room. He's talking, and Jeff's on stage talking and John Mariner's just sitting there with a guitar. They're talking about Bob Saggart. They're getting laughs here and there and chappels. Like, is that Mark Maron? I'm like, yes. Yes. He's like, oh, an o g. What's up He says, I'm sorry, I didn't get to see you at the funeral. We didn't get to talk. I know you some loss in your life as well. And I'm sorry. He's glad this I'm I'm glad you're here. Yeah. And this is, like, in front everybody. I was thank you, man. I appreciate that. And then Ross is, like, come up here. We got another guitar. John Myers, like, well, I brought a guitar, and I'm like, I don't know. You know, come on, man. I'm not, you know, no, no, I'm not you know, no. No. No. And I'm like, I got two picks in my pocket. Now audiences are like, good. Come on. like, nah, right. And I get up there and put a guitar on. Sat there and me next to mayor, next to Ross in between Ross is in between me and Maron. and John were trading late doing little blues and everything together. I did alright, held my own. It wasn't like a music show. It was just sort of like Dave was talking, Jeff was talking, I chime in, John Merrill would chime in. But the truth is, is like, despite what anyone thinks about anybody at this point in time, this was a night for Bob's friends and But the truth is, like, despite when anyone thinks about anybody at this point in time, This was a night for Bob's friends and family. These were comics getting together, you know, to boil off a little steam after an incredibly difficult week for friends and family. A Bob Saggot. And it got racy, and it got interesting, and it got fun, and it got real, and there's a lot of smoke. Hadn't been around that much smoke, whether it's a chappell cigarettes or weed or whatever whatever was going on. I left I left I I only hung out an hour. And I realized, like, oh, this is what happens. You know, this is, like, I know these guys sometimes stay on the stage for hours, and I'm they just get fucked up and they keep going and going because they don't wanna, you know, just they're having they don't wanna be alone or they don't wanna stop or I got I got out after about an hour. It was hard. I had to extrocate myself, and I was there were people going, no. And I'm like, I gotta go. I gotta go. And I felt the smoke. In my head, in my head, I felt it. But again, I was happy to do it. I was happy to be part of the community and be part of show. And I was very sweet of Bob's daughter say that, and it was good to see everybody. today's show is sponsored by better help online show is sponsored by Better Health Online therapy. I look, I know a lot of people might think therapy is something I look I know lot of people might think therapy is something extreme like you're only supposed to go to therapy if you have a major problem, but look folks every single person could use good therapy and better help is working to make it easier for people to take advantage of professional therapy the same way you would take advantage of going to the gym. Or using Fitbit. You take care of your You take care of your body so you should take care of your mind as well. And you don't have to wait till you're at your lowest. I get the most out of therapy when I'm doing it regularly. And that's what better help is here to provide better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat with your that's what better help is here to provide. Better help is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under forty eight hours. Give it a try and see why more than two million people have used better help online therapy. And WTF listeners get ten percent off their first month that better help dot com slash WTF. That's better H That's better HELP dot com slash WTF. So So as I mentioned earlier, Nicole Byer is as I mentioned earlier, Nicole Byer is here. And the new series she's on is called Grand Crew. It's on NBC, but you can see her on a whole other stuff or listen to her on all her other stuff. She does a lot of stuff. Grand Prix is on NBC, new episodes on Tuesday nights. This is me talking to the very funny, very charming, kind of exciting, Nicole Byer. I was I'm not a baker. Neither am I. You're not? No. You ever tried? I have I have tried. I can make ooey gooey butter I can make ooey gooey butter cake. It's a Paladine recipe. I know she's bad. She said the n word a couple times, know, on record. If If you're okay with it, I'll be okay with you're okay with it, I'll be okay with it just for this conversation. It's tasty. You can't taste the can taste the racism. It's just sweet. Yeah. I can make that. I can make mac and cheese. Mac and cheese and cheese. Baked? Uh-huh. I got baked some mac and cheese in my day. Were you, like, in a in a, like, a roasting pan, the whole layer of it, Yeah. Yeah. Like, the roof. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. When you poured over the noodles, my mom used to make it, and I I'm on a quest to try to make it the way my mother is Right. Did you get it? My sister has said good try. Yeah. So I think it's not quite. Quite. But I'll put onion in it. mom put onion. Yeah. Right. Yes. That's part of that. It's like that joy of cooking recipe. Yeah. Kinda? Yeah. I guess. I don't know the joy of Oh, it's like that classic one. Like, there was period there. I was just trying to bake or just not bake, but because I cook a lot. So I was just asking a question not because you host a a show where people make fucked up calls. I can cook a Irish soda bread. And pie can do a pie. Okay. I'm just trying get on your show. What do I gotta do to You have to be able to do that myself? Not big. You have to be bad at it. No. But I can't do it. it improvisationally. I gotta have a rest of them. I mean, people just get on there and they they don't even know how much flower to put in. Kinda The first couple seasons it was people who truly couldn't read directions, had no artistic eye. Cause it's like, you got to make a cake, but then you gotta make it into like a shark or something like eye because it's like, you gotta make cake, but then you gotta make it into, like, a shark or something like that. So this is one of those because I, you know, I get the idea of the show. You're basically, like, be more signing up. They're like, I'm okay looking stupid. Uh-huh. Yeah. But that's exactly what it is. It's like, I get it. I'm in on the joke. Okay. This is fun. Fine? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. Oohy gooey butter cake. That's good. I can make cookies. That's pretty easy. Yeah. I can't. I don't I don't wanna have around. Oh. I don't want I don't want cookies in my house. Oh. I got chocolate in my house. can't have ice cream in house. Oh. Yeah. Why? Because then it's just an ongoing battle. Like, I, you know look, I I'm crazy. I have a, you know, I have a I had a I grew up with an anorexic mother. So my my ideas about eating and food are not great. Right. So it's an ongoing like, last night, for instance. Mhmm. I was sad. My buddy Bob Saggot passed away yesterday. Mhmm. And I thought, like, well, maybe I should go get a cream and just plow through it. Yeah. Yeah, but I made the different choice. I'm like, you know I'm like, you know what? There's a basket in Robbins down the street. I'm just gonna get a cone. Oh, see. Okay. I like that. I thought you were depriving yourself of yummy I thought you were depriving yourself of yummy treats. No. No. When I it's just when I have them in the house. I'll eat all of them. Yeah. And fast. I I'm the same way. Yeah. So what happens is if I got ice cream in freezer -- Mhmm. -- I'm just sort of, like, I'm gonna have to get rid of that by eating it. Now Yeah. Yeah. People were sending me pints and pints. Oh. Yeah. Places. Oh. They were like, this guy will put it on Instagram. From where? Jennys was sending me -- Okay. -- for a while. And then there's this place in I have a problem with Jennys. Really? Yes. I I have a problem too, but it'd be different than yours. Okay. I wonder what your problem is. So I went in. I asked for a half scoop because I have portion control issues. And the lady behind the counter said, we can't do that. And I said, why? I just want half of the kids' soup. And she said, we don't do that. I have to charge you for a full scoop. And I said, that's okay. Yeah. I just want half of it, and I don't wanna throw it away. Right. Because I throw it away. I'll just eat it. And she said, we can't do She said, we can't do that. And I was so angry. I was like, I'll get nothing. So have a not a vendetta against Janies, but if someone's like, let's go to Janies, I'll be like, no. Thank So you even in paying full wouldn't give you the half? No. She insists him in giving me the full scope even though I didn't want it. So that's that's no problem with you. Well, that's that's more of AAA consumer problem. Okay. Like a like a like a problem with their policy. Yes. I this place that I was getting ice cream from in Saint Louis. Mhmm. Like, they're sending it to me from Saint Louis. This place is clementines. There's a few of them in the a few of them -- Mhmm. -- in the Saint Louis area. Okay. It's artisanal ice cream. Okay. Now in order to call something artisanal, it has to have a certain amount of milk fat in it. So, like, eighteen percent or something crazy. Right? Like most ice cream you buy at the store, it's like sixteen percent. So you eat this stuff, and it means it has to be made by hand and have that high milk fat in it. So it's like, we'll fucking ice so it's like real fucking nice. Mhmm. And the woman who own that place told me, with these other places, don't have it. I can ask Jenny's nope used to. No more. Once they went when corporate, because like art, you have to do it by corporate? When corporate? Because, like, our you have to do it by hand. Oh oh, yes. And that's time consuming. But you can cut corners with milk fat if you earn the trick. Why not save money? And that's what they care about. Interesting. So it's not even it's not even top notch. There's this place in Brooklyn called The Social. So they used to own Apple Hills creamery and then I don't know. Something happened. They left that and they started a new one called the social. And maybe there's this artisanal. I feel like there's this handmade Robbie. Yeah. And it's very, very rich. It's so good. Right. They have one called ooe gooey butter cake. That's what I'm always coming back to. It's my favorite. A lot of them do that now, the butter cake. It's so good. So we're like, I I watch some of the standup. Boy, I mean, I don't know you. You're I mean, I didn't know you just stand up because I'm old, though. I'm older. I don't I don't know. don't know any of the kids in here. Oh, thank you for calling me a kid. Yeah. She's the one. But where'd you come from? Where'd I come from? Middletown, New Jersey. Well, I started doing improv in New York at the upright citizens brigade Theatre and then moved out here. So I was doing like an impasse. You grew up in Jersey? Uh-huh. Wow. That's I I'm I'm I'm from Jersey. What part of What part of Jersey are you from? Well, I'm genetically Jersey. As I like to say, both of my parents from Jersey. I was born in I was born in Jersey. I lived in Jersey till I was, like, six. Okay. Coped and Wipes is where my mother's friend. From Morris. That's Morris County, I think. Maybe Bergen County? That's north. Yeah. Yeah. North Jersey. Yeah. And my dad from Jersey City. Oh, okay. You're North Jersey. I'm from Central Jersey. Yeah. But you probably people in North Jersey are like, that's South Jersey. People in South Jersey are like, that's North, but we're like where Sun Trophy excess. Yeah. But it's not by it's not by Patterson. No. I don't think so. It's funny. People from Jersey have no idea where other places in Jersey. You must know some of part parts of Jersey I know what Princeton is. Right. Oh, so it's near there right now. No. It's It's my, so it's by like red my So it's probably, like, Red Bank -- Yeah. Yeah. -- Silver. I think where the Coped Macy's Theatre is? Yes. Yes. And that's dream of mine. I wanna play the Count Macy's Theatre. Real because you grew up. here. I played III played it. Is it fun? Yeah. I think I'm going back to it. think they're calling it some of I think they're calling it something else. Oh, no. That makes me very Like, the Red Bank something center maybe. No. Boom. Yeah. Where's Camp Busy? How's Camp Busy? I Who is Camp Daisy? You know Camp Daisy is. I sure don't. Oh, see? I'm young. You have to remember. Camp Daisy was piano player and band leader that I believe started with Duke Ellington. Oh, okay. So there was the count Basie, orchestra, ah, swing and So there was the basie orchestra. Swang and stuff pre b bop. Kinda thing. Okay. Yeah. Big jazz orchestra. You gotta listen to some of them. Gotta listen to Coped Daisy. We can do it right now. Now we can't let you can do it later. So but you like, growing up with, like, how many brothers and sisters? You big your big family? Just one sister, one older sister who's very tiny, so she looks younger than me. How's she doing? She's good. She's a teacher, and she's really sweet. Teacher. Yeah. That's a good job. It is a nice job. I coped never How old what kid? How old very young. think they're, like, six, maybe 670, so you're real kids. Yeah. She's, like Not horrible. Yeah. They're Well, they're horrible, but they're horrible, like, kids. Yeah. Arable like, you know, bad kids. Yeah. They're not terrible, but she'll tell me stories and I'm like, kids are just they're unreasonable. You can't reason with them. They say something wild and then you're like, well, that might not be true and they're like, what it is? I said it. It's true. Yeah. I couldn't do it. She's can't I don't have any. can't I can't spend too much time with them. I don't love them. They're sticky and stuff. Yeah. I just can't imagine having in my house where you're, like, wake up and they're, like, staring at me on there. Yeah. I'm ready ready for my kids. Or, like, at night, they're, like, there's a man in my closet and they're, like, no. I don't wanna deal with a haunting. Go to sleep. Yeah. I don't want it. I just, I found early I just I found early on, I think. That I am too selfish, too panicky, and too angry -- Yeah. -- to have them. I think -- I can't -- a lot of people who do have them. I like that. No. They maybe should not have had children. I say that, on stage now. I'm like, you don't have to. Yeah. You I mean, you can make choices. You're not a dog. Log. Yes. Yeah. You can make grown up choice not to have them. do anything you want. Yeah. don't think I want them. Although if I turn fifty and I'm still a single woman, I'll probably adopt like an older kid and be like, you're my friend. Right. Yeah. Kid three year old, that'd be a little weird. Maybe like thirteen. Yeah. Fifteen two old old. I don't want to be your mother, but I just want someone to be don't want to be your mother, but I just want someone to be around. Yeah. You call me to call. We travel. We have a good time. Maybe go to school a little bit. People were looking you weird. You think? Yeah. They might judge you little bit. If I adopt a older kid, that's my new friend. If you buy an older kid. Well, I figure older kids don't get adopted often. So, like, wouldn't it be nice if I got one? Sure. Come on, friend. Let's go to friends. Yeah. Yeah. What if he I don't know. I I guess there's probably reason why all your kids don't get adopted. It's a sad reason, but they're kinda set in their ways already. Yeah. But -- Yeah. -- are you setting your ways of a nice lady with money once take around the world. I think you would have been You know, this is fun for me. Won't you just find, like, a twenty year old? Hey. We're I I guess, yeah, get, like, a twenty one year old. Like, you're legal age. We'll say, yeah. I'll be friends. She would have. Adopted twenty one year old. So what like, what world did you grow up in? I don't know what middle town middle town? Yeah. Middle to Linkcroft in Middletown. Would you like folks to? What was the story over there. What was it? I mean, I accidentally smoked a lot of weed. What do we? And they went to Chili's. It would say it was one of our birthdays ago and get a free dessert. That was your childhood. Pointed chilies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I absolutely lied about your birthday. Of yeah. There's a lot of it. Yeah. Yeah. I coped a lot of weed in high school. I got a English class a lot high, and my teacher would be like, do you wanna read this heart of the book? And I'd laugh and I'd be like, no. I can't. I can't do that. I had the same thing and I had to go to the nurse because that was so embarrassed. Because I I was it wasn't English. It was, like, some other, like, social studies. It was something she asked me to read. And I literally couldn't handle it. Uh-huh. But I felt so embarrassed. I said gotta go to nurse. I'm I'm too high. Yeah. I would just giggle and be like, I would just giggle and feel like, oh, sorry. I can't do it. But you had friends. Right? You're probably -- Yeah. -- having fun. Yeah. No one knew I was high. Oh, you're just doing it myself. I wouldn't know. I was out with other people. They said, at lunch or whatever. Yeah. They weren't there. You go to the club. Wasn't part of a crew. I just I just alone stuff. Alone and self sustaining, like, I'm not sure. Yeah. I couldn't do couldn't do it. The worst feeling. It is A weird feeling to be alone in a setting where you're like, sorry, I can't function up to high for a weird feeling to be alone in a very full setting where you're like, sorry, I can't fuck you up too high for this. Yeah. I can't really. I couldn't tell where I'm too high. I remember the teacher, missus Wall. Mine Weird. I think missus Maron. Did you do anything in high school? My mother was like, you talk a lot, so why don't you do the play? And I was like, okay. And that's when I got into acting and performing. What how old were you then? I think I was fifteen. Mhmm. What's your mom? Fifteen. My mom was a stay at home mom, but she also like was a lunch aid at my mom was a standup mom. How are you? But she also, like, was shade at my school. Because she's very obsessed with me. You couldn't get away from me. And she's like, when we come to school with you Oh, really? Yeah. She was actually trained you, like, you wanna treat your coped girl. Yeah. She was like, I gotta go everywhere with a little kid. Really? Uh-huh. Yeah. What does a lunch aid do? During lunch -- Yeah. -- you, like Watch over the kids. Just hang out. Wow. That's interesting. I, like, don't remember. Everything okay at this label. Yeah. I think do you need napkins plates? Fox knives? What do you need? Yeah. Yeah. I think it was just, like, volunteered parents to just, like, watch kids while teachers, like, I've got a break. That's nice. So she was just hanging around school. Mhmm. And people were like, what's your mom doing here? No. She's just hanging out. Leave me alone. What'd your dad do? My dad was he worked at AT and T -- Oh. -- as, like, an engineer. I think that's what it is. He, like, wrote programs and stuff. Computer guy? Yeah. Wow. Like very smart and really wanted me to be smart Like, very smart and really wanted me to be smart too. Right. And, like, I did think I'm, like, kinda but, like, demics. Oh, boy. It's hard. You want me saying, read and problems, no. You can't do it. Not a math. Okay. I'm not a math. can't do the math. Yeah. It's too hard. Science, the science, you know, people got a knack for it. I don't know whether science no. I I got an f or an e. The teacher was trying to not found me, so he gave me an e in chemistry. Kind. It was kind, but I just couldn't because chemistry is like math. I couldn't do it. Yeah. I don't know what my brain is broken like that. And algebra I couldn't figure out algebra. is so hard. Oh, you see? Algebra algebra. I put me in basic math because I'm like, friend. Really? You're not good at this. Yeah. You're really bad. I feel bad about feel bad about it. And there's some part of me that thinks, like, Well, I'm an adult now. Mhmm. I think it's time to tackle math. No. Here's the only thing you need -- Yeah. -- in math as an adult who's not in the field of math or whatever quantum physics, is to figure out the tip. You move the decimal point, one place, and then double it. And that's mess twenty percent. Right. That's the only thing you need to know. Right. Right. That's it. Yep. Some recipes though. Oh. Maybe some frac maybe how many tablespoons is in quarter cup kind of deal? Make those kind of transitions? Like I said, have a quarter cup. You have, like, I know. But, like, what if some calls for, like, six tablespoons or can be, like, I can just use the quarter cup and two tablespoons because I don't have Oh, see, that would be nice. Not I. Yeah. I'll do six -- Yeah. -- teaspoons or tablespoons or whatever. Yeah. can make those kind of fraction decisions. Oh, see. That's nice. I know. So alright. So your mom pushes into the drama. Uh-huh. Yeah. And what what is it? What's happening? And what what plays do you do? So the first play eight day, there were so many people who wanted to do the plays that my drama teacher miss Sutton, she she did a a, like, a a bunch of short plays by Christopher Durang. So Oh, yeah. I remember those. Yeah. So, like, there's, like, doctor's nightmare, DMV, tyrant. Oh, I can't remember any other ones. Yeah. Forget the one that the one that I knew. But I guess there was, like, ten of them. So, like, there was just a bunch of different men. And I did DMV tyrant, which is just, like, a frustrating lady at the DMV. A character piece. A very character piece. And people laughed and really loved it. And I was like, oh, baby, this is what I gotta do for the rest of my life. What a treat? That was it. Mhmm. Getting the laughs. Yeah. It's a addictive. It's like what I think maybe shooting heroin's like, were you just chasing that high? Sure. But, like, I I think when you shoot heroin, you your your responsibility to end there. Oh, sure. Yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Once you do the shot, You're good. With the laugh, you gotta keep working. You gotta keep working. Yeah. You gotta do a whole hour of hahazoo. Just to get that fixed. Yeah. Tis a lot work. It is. So you just were doing mostly theater in high school. Yeah. Just theater in high school. We had a spring play in a fall play, so I would do that. Yeah. And then was also doing track and field at that time. Yeah. I was doing the fat girl sport, which a shot put. Oh. That's when I put all little fatties, like, oh, you're probably strong, ratty big. Yeah. So I did that. And then I quit. Well, I was doing pretty good. My coach is frustrated with me. He was like, if you just, like, worked out worked a little harder. You could be really good at this. And I was like, when I'm actor, but a shot putting a practical skill. Uh-huh. Yeah. Throwing the ball around. You could go to Olympics or something? Yeah. Not for you. No. No. I don't wanna go to the Olympics. You're kidding. Is it So the heavy ball around? No. You know? Give me a stay. Questions. Yes. You have to every day, you have to go out to the field after school, throw the heavy ball around. Yeah. Not for you. Not for me. And then But you're able to graduate high school somehow? Barely. Yeah. There is miss Ernst who worked in the office. She was like, Nicoles, you've missed too many days of school and you're not going to graduate. You've missed like two too You've missed, like, too many. You ditched. Uh-huh. I never went to school. What'd you guys do? No. Chili's. You like go, no, you go to the beach during school, we'd go to the beach or like smoke weed in someone's like, go to no. You go to the beach. During school, you go to the beach or, like, smoke weed in someone's car, or, like, what up? You just, like, I didn't wanna be there. haven't talked about Ditchin school in a while. You had to sort of figure it out, though. Like, you you definitely had a ditch scheduled. Didn't you? Like, I I can't do this one again this week. No. I really was wild with reckless abandon. was like, I don't have to go anywhere. And my mom died my junior year and this sounds awful, but I would just be like, my mom's And my mom died my junior year. And this sounds awful, but I would just be like, my mom's dead. I'm sad. And people never knew what to say to me. So I'd be like, so I get the leaf. Yeah. And I'd get out of things. And then miss Ernst, I was like, my mom's done. She was like, doesn't matter. You miss school. You have to like, there's consequences. And then I like burst into tears and I was like, you can't make me come back here next year. She was like, if you shut up and just come to school for the rest of the year, I will was like, if you shut up and just come -- Yeah. -- school for the rest of the year, I will move. I will remove two of these or whatever. Yeah. So she's the reason why I graduated. Oh, wow. little sympathy. Well, I mean, you're probably telling the truth. Yeah. I mean, it's terrible. Yeah. It sucks. When your mom passed away. Yeah. And there was nothing there. Like, they probably at that time at the school didn't have anything in place to help you out through that, did they? No. But I did have a really great guidance counselor who she's like, let me sit in our office and just, like, talk to her a lot. Yeah. So, like, that was helpful because it was, like, okay. There's an adult here who cares. Right. Yeah. But it was it was weird. It's it's weird to deal with, like, I don't know, a sixteen year old who's going through who's grieving. Yeah. I mean, because, like, grieving's hard anyways. Yeah. It's hard as an adult, hard as a Yeah. And you, you have no control over it and it's And you you have no control over it? Yeah. And it's horrendous. And so what what about your dad? Was he helpful? He was a quiet person. I mean, he wasn't unhelpful, but, you know, he was dealing with his own shit. Yeah. I guess nobody knows what to do. No. So did you become a, like, a a just a terror after that? Ah, not a terror, but I distinctly Not a terror. No doubt. But I distinctly remember because, like, my mom she did most of the, like, curfew shit or -- Yeah. -- punishment shit or, like, you can go here and go there. But my dad was like, alright. gotta figure out some of these rules. Like, what is your curfew? And I was like, midnight. Yeah. And guess there was, like, ten Yeah. And he goes, okay. Nicole comes home at midnight, and Katherine comes home at ten. And I just don't think his, like, brain was, like, firing at all cylinders because I'm younger. Right. Also, like, In one says ten, that's probably correct. Right. Tonight, it's definitely not correct. Right. We're in high school. Yeah. But it was just funny. We just like my sister had a she she wouldn't lie. She would tell the truth. Yeah. So she would, you know, be home at ten to eleven. The truth. Yeah. And I was, like, living a weird world that was making up on, like, on the fly. Like, yeah. I'm allowed to go in the city alone. Yeah. I'm allowed to sleep with this person. Yeah. And he's like, oh, alright. Oh wow. So he was really kind of a, like, a math brain guy -- Yeah. -- checked out -- Yeah. -- and your mom was the one who was on top of every Mhmm. Oh my god. So it's, like, liberated in sadness. Uh-huh. Were you angry too? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you haven't dug any of that stuff up? I mean, I have. And I guess it was like my mom was religious and a lot of religious people are like, oh, she's with God or whatever. She's in a better place and I'm like, I don't know why anybody thinks that's, like, a good thing to say to anybody. Yeah. Because it's like that how does that comfort me? Yeah. What about the place where I was at with her? That was a nice place. How about you come back here? Yeah. So yeah, I guess I was angry and I truly, I think I stopped going to church and yeah, guess I was angry. And I truly I think I stuck on a church and stuff. I was like, listen for me. Yeah. I don't like this. Yeah. I never I I don't I didn't I don't find it to that No one knows what to say. Yeah. You know, and it's like they're trying to say things. Mhmm. You know, like, her memory will be a blessing and, like, a better play what any of that stuff, the one that I talk about on stage show is the one where it's sort of like Well, you know, her she's still here, her energy. That people don't leave their energy still here. And I'm like, I liked it in in the human form. I don't better when it was her. Like, Weird ghost to ghost energy. don't want that shit. I want this person. I want something I want to be tangible. Exactly. Yeah. I don't think people realize how unhelpful they are. Like, when my mom died, people kept bringing for, like, casseroles and shit. They're like, we're not. Like, the oven still works. It's but it's, like, it it's what they wanna help. Yeah. And I think it's it's nice for them to that's what people do. They try to show up for you, but there's nothing anybody can do. You're gonna go threw it on your own no matter what. You know, I just got tired of crying in front of strangers. So, again, anybody would walk like, hey. I heard, oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, think yeah. I don't think you even have to say I heard. Yeah. think maybe you just hug somebody. Yeah. That's right. It's like Oh, okay. But it was So it was even Oh, god. -- crying on my porch in front of me. And people like, six feet away. Exactly. Hey, buddy. He's already been Let me know your like human me know. You're, like, Exactly. Human touch. That's what I need. Yeah. Well, actually, I'm I'm not great with the human touch. So, like, worked out for me. The the human touch part, you know, when it's just supportive and pleasant and nice. Like, you know, I I'm I'm gonna help you out. It's a little squirrely. Fair. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like being touched to you. Yeah. I don't mind making out of people. You don't like making a note? No. I don't mind that. I don't mind that kind of touching nice. Yeah. That's nice. It just is sort of like, I don't understand why what's happening there. Yeah. I'm trying to get better with human touch. Yeah. Like just just Yeah. My best friend says shear. She was like, yeah. You know? I've talked to her. She's one of my favorite people in the hall. She's on here. You do a podcast with her. Right? Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. What did she say? She, I told her, I was like a friend of mine told me I was, I was not very She I told her I was, like, a friend of mine told me I was I was not very affectionate. She was like, yeah, you're not. And I was like, I'm not. She's like, yeah. You know, every time I try the Huggies, you run away and you, like, act like it's a bit. I don't think it's really bit. And I was like, oh no, I guess it's not a a bit and I was like, oh, no. I guess it's not a bit. So now when we hang out, I like make an effort to touch her and it's really calculate it because, like, I'll be like, oh, yes, touch her to say goodbye and I'll be like, goodbye and, like, lift my hand up. And she's like, one day it'll be up and and he's like, one day you'll be not true. So I'm working on it. But so it's not the impulse, so you gotta to No. I have to, like, really think about it. Like that too. I I've I've been like that for years. Like, even in like, in relationships -- Mhmm. -- romantic relationships, you know, like, just sort of, like, when people snuggle, I'm sort of, like, ugh. Yeah. I'm not really a snuggler either. I'm trying to get better at it. But it's like it doesn't it's supposed to feel good. It is supposed to feel good. So if it if it doesn't if it doesn't quite feel good, what are we getting better at? You try you're doing it for them and maybe you'll get used to it. I'd like to think I don't know. Why is it feel so fucking intrusive? I don't know. Hmm. That's a That's a good question. Because I to me, I'm just trying to figure out what is it what is it why? Why do I why does it bother me? I'm trying to I I've thought about it. Maybe it's like guess it's because I'm this person, you're that person, and why should we touch some of that? Yeah. And also, like, because of my insane kind of body image. I don't like I don't like when people touch my body, it reminds me of my body. Maybe that's what it is. The I like my body. I mean, III like my body on and off. But when people touch it, like, I'm like, what? You know, why? What are you thinking about it? What? And what's you lumpy? What's going on? Did you feel a fat roll that you didn't like? Exactly. Yeah. That's you know, why you didn't I don't know why I have these things. It's cause it's cause my mom because my it's because of my mom. Probably. So what happened? So your your your mom passed away, you're sixteen. And did you did you continue doing theater and stuff? And, like Yeah. So I told my dad my dad wanted me to go to Rutgers. Brunswick. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, state school, you get, like, some money or whatever. Yeah. And I said bad school. Right? It's not bad. And they had Mason Gross, which is, like, their acting program. Yeah. And I said, no. I need to go to York City -- Yeah. -- where actors go. So no college. No. I tricked him. I went to a a conservatory, a two year conservatory that was, like, in conjunction with the new school university. Oh, yeah. So I was like, I'll do my two years of conservatory, and then I'll go get a degree. What was that like the conservatory? Oh, it was a bunch of bullshit. It was I learned more at UCB than I did paying just, like, triple the amount I paid for class. Was it was it a traditional acting thing? Kind of tradition, I guess. I don't know. We did improv acting for TV and film acting for commercials and acting for the We did improv, acting for TV and film, acting for commercials, and acting for the stage. It was just like a a lot of old people who are just like, you're bad. Like, just mean people. Oh, so so it was like one of those classes where you do a scene and then everyone talks at you. Yeah. And they were people they were new school people, so they were people Yeah. So is the American musical and dramatic catch me? Uh-huh. I don't say the name often. Cause I don't want them to claim me cause they taught me I don't want them to claim me because they taught me nothing. Got it. But yeah. So, like, we would do these classes. You would work outside a class with your senior partner, present the scene, and then we would talk about why it was good or why it was bad. Now the old people are the teachers. Yes. Right. And it just I don't know. It wasn't for me, not helpful. It was not not. And they were like, you shouldn't audition while you're they were like, you shouldn't audition while you're here and it's like, but that's what we're trying what what? Right. And they're like, no. You need to concentrate on your studies. So that was, like, weird. And then after I graduated, I like, I don't know. I just, like, fucked around New York for a minute. And I was, like, I don't How do you actually 1297 two years of that. Two years. Wow. And then you were commuting? Or you lived in the No, I lived in the I lived in the city. Where'd you live? In their dorms, the stratford Arms, which was on seventieth in Broadway -- Mhmm. -- and then moved up to they had this, like, hotel that they, like, rented out -- Really? -- which is on, like, ninety second and and Broadway. No kitchen. No. No. No kitchen. It was just like this weird shared kitchen that we all had that was disgusting. Right. Because there's like a bunch of eighteen year olds who like -- Yeah. -- clean up after themselves. And then I moved up to Harlem after I graduated. I moved to, like, one forty sixth in Broadway then one twenty fifth in Broadway. See you on Broadway. Just loved Broadway. Uh-huh. And And it was how was it like w I don't have no sense of come my buddy teachers at was a how is it like where I don't I haven't no sense of because my buddy teaches at Columbia, so he's up there. Mhmm. If that seems way up there. Did you like it up there? I did. I was, like, by Columbia. So, like, one twenty fifth in Broadway, like, pretty close. Real Columbia territory. Nice. I liked it. But though, I just went back and they built all these, like, huge fucking buildings and it just feels different. Yeah. Don't feel homey. It feels nasty. don't I don't know who lives in New York anymore. It's weird. I'm not sure what's going on there. don't. It's different. It is. Right? Yeah. But not because of it was different than for COVID. Yeah. It's just like, you know, little cute restaurants are closing. Yeah. Koolool shops are coped. It doesn't feel like the people that work the people that work in the city can't live there anymore. Yeah. So you're just sort of like who want and you feel like a lot of the buildings are empty or something? Yeah. It's weird. Because it's like a lot of people just, holding investments. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. It is. I lived down I was a downtown guy and never lived downtown. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where downtown? I lived on second between a and B for a couple of years, way back in the lived on second between a and b for a couple years way back in the eighties, and I had a I was at sixteenth and third -- Okay. -- for a while in this old building. Yeah. Those were the two primary New York residences. Yeah. So after the acting, you got I did start auditioning what happened. Or you get that out of the acting school and you're like, I don't know how to do this. Yeah. I kinda fucked around for a while. I was working at a I call it Lane Bryant. It's a plus size store called Lane Bryant. People did it. Like it, when I said it there -- Yeah. -- worked there for a little bit, quit there, was a waitress then I was a waitress and horrible. Oh, was bad at it. Yeah. Like the I don't have a good memory. I have date, I would go to tables and forget my little pad to write things down, and then they'd start ordering. And I never knew how to be like, I won't remember this. And I would try And I get to the computer and I'd be like, I don't know. So I go back to the table and like, okay, guys. Second chance, did you wanna change anything? Maybe, like, no. They'd be, like, okay. Like, give it to me again. Because I don't know. And then I would always forget to put in, like, a kid's order so, like, everyone have their food and a kid would be on cornering me sad. I'd like, I don't know. It's a kitchen. Like, someone make chicken fingers for me. Bad. Bad waitress. Make good money make good money, though. Yeah. White being a how do you make good money being a bad waitress? Car charisma. Oh. People were like, she's funny. You did? We gotta get her out of here. Yeah. Give her enough mind. She'll have to work here no more. Okay. So you were like the fi and Deering bad So you're, like, the the endearing bad waitress. Very bad. Like People enjoyed their experience with Uh-huh. But, yeah, I would drop drinks all the time. I couldn't balance a tray. Yeah. So I would bring drinks primetime, and people'd be like, are you kidding? And I'd be like, no, no one taught me how to open I'd be like, no. Yeah. No one taught me how to open wine, so I would bring a wine bottle to a table. Have them do it? And I'd be like, There you go. Leave the wine key there. At once, I'll never forget this. I served a table white wine and they're like, can have a bucket? And I was like, you don't drink and have a bucket? They were like, no. A bucket with ice and I was like, you want ice or wine? And then I went back to my roommate Jen who also worked there. And I was like, Jenny's people wanna drink their wine out of a bucket, but they keep looking me weird when I keep saying they wanna drink out of a bucket. And she's like, to keep it chilled Nicoles. And I was like, She's like the bottle goes in, and it blew my mind. I was like, oh, I'm so dumb. Oh, dumb like that. But then I found UCV. And then We'll have to find that. Like Google, what do actors do when they're not acting? Really? It was, like, improv. Yeah. And then looked up in prop theaters, and there was pit, the magnet, and UCB. And I applied to me an intern at the pit, and they rejected me. Who in that? What year's that? This was my dad died in Your dad died too. Yeah. Twenty ten, I believe, because I moved to LA and no. Two thousand eight, I think. How'd you mom. How's is terrible. Hold on. I have a tattoo of my the day. Okay. Two thousand eight. What's that that you for? It since the date he died so I can remember, because I have a terrible memory. Oh, wow. Yeah. Then my mom's date is on my ankle. Truly just the awful memory. Yeah. And I was like, these these two dates. I If I remember, how they died? My mom had a it's called deep vein My mom had a it's called deep vein thrombosis. So it was a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her heart and stopped her heart, and it was just like sudden thing. And Just -- Yeah. -- we didn't know what was happening. Yeah. And then my dad died of a a heart attack. Wow. How old was he? He was fifty four 56. He wasn't 60 Fifty six. He wasn't sixty yet. He wasn't So yeah. Fifty is yeah. Both of them are young. Both of them were mid fifth and oh my god. So that must have been devastating. Yeah. Really fucking sucked. Yeah. It was not fun. And and you just started doing improv? Yeah. So my dad hated the city with, like, just a he just didn't like it. He didn't like the people. It was too much. It's too dirty. And I started taking classes. And I asked him, I was like, well, you come to my graduation show. It would be very meaningful for me. And he was like, okay. Fine. Yeah. And then he died the third week of my class, and then the first joke I ever wrote was, oh god, what was it? It was My dad would rather die than watch his daughter do object work, which was too dark for audiences. They did not like it. Because because what was would you have to say that the punch I had to be like, no. He's dying. Yeah. He's actually dead, guys. Like, truly, he did not wanna watch me dribble on imaginary basketball. He did. It's so weird to processing grief with comedy is so it's it's necessary for us -- Mhmm. -- you know, but if you don't have the right distance from it, there's no way to do it. Yeah. You know, until you you have a little bit you're little grounded. Like, if you're just sort of, like, You know, I gotta do that. You know? Like, because if the if you don't have any sort of closure on the feeling -- Uh-huh. -- people are gonna know, like, you know You gotta, like, put it down. Story. It's like, oh no, she about to have a breakdown on like, oh, no. She's about to have a breakdown on stage. Exactly. I had breakdowns on stage, I think. Have you? When I was younger, sure. But it's usually anger. It was usually like fuck you, people. Yeah. Oh, I've done that. I got real burnt out in twenty nineteen because I was Recently. Yeah. I was on the road. I would say almost every weekend of that year, like, truly just like hammering that special? Well, yeah, I was trying to sell the special in twenty nineteen. No. That was the material from big beautiful weirdo. Mm-mm. No. So half of it was in big beautiful weirdo. And then half of it I did during COVID I was like, oh, no. I guess I gotta add a little bit of COVID stuff and -- Yeah. -- things were happening. And I was like, oh, that will be interesting to put in the special. But trying to sell a special in twenty nineteen. I was just getting tired. Yeah. The audiences -- Yeah. -- you they forget that you're a person sometimes that, like, if you yell at me, sure, maybe I'll roast you or whatever. But also, like, maybe I had a really bad day earlier. Yeah. And I just don't wanna deal with that. Right. There was one show where I I screamed, you're all trying to break me. And then I laid down on the floor and was like, we won't shut up if I stand that and then I laid down on the floor. I was like, we all shut up and I'd stand back up. Wow. And they were like, god. I was like, in my brain, I was like, I think I'm have I don't know if I'm alright right now. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. When I Finished the Shana's Shannon is fine. But Well they then probably people didn't really they then probably people didn't notice. Yeah. They're they're sort of like, that was interesting. That was funny. Wow. What's your audience mostly like? Because you're popular. Thank you. Mhmm. My audience is gay men, fat women, black women who sounds like may or then? Well, sometimes people go, you sound white or whatever, which is like I don't know. I'm black. So to me, I sound like a black woman. Sure. Who I is? Yeah. So, yeah, women who've been told their whole lives that they don't sound like -- Oh, interesting. -- black enough. Whatever. Yeah. Black enough whatever. And then women who drag their boyfriends and then their boyfriends at the meet and greet go. I've never heard of you one day in my life, but you're pretty funny. You should keep galloping. I'm like, I've never needed that. Thank you. Thank you, anonymous man. How many couples that wanna have threesome? Oh, them? Mhmm. And has that happened? No. No. It's never sexy after a show wait. You're worst. I've I've had that happen maybe twice where you've got a couple and they're kinda like what are you doing? Like, not this. Not this. I'm going to sleep because I have two shows tomorrow. Just the idea, like what are they the idea, like, what are they thinking? I don't know. You just done with the show. Like, I let's go have some awkward times. You're fucking housed. Uh-huh. No. No. Thank you. But III imagine, did you ever do, I cabaret stuff? No. Or am I am I being somehow generalizing? It just seems that Like, the gay men audience -- Mhmm. -- is a very specific thing. Yes. And sometimes well, in general, I are very unruly. I really wanna be part of the show. Right. Like to yell at me and stuff. But for the most part, they're pretty well behaved. Yeah. They I they just they must love you. I think so. It's a good audience to have. They've got money. A really good audience. Like, sometimes I'll do shows and after the weekend, they're like, your audience is so nice. They tipped well. Right. Yeah. They have they have grown up people and they have their money. They They do. But also I have a podcast where I talk about bad shows. You too. And I'll be like, yeah. If you go to show, you'd be quiet, you chip well. Yeah. The the appropriate time. He was great with people. Yeah. So I've, like, kind of trained my audience, although -- I said -- I started doing more crowd work, and I'll ask a question, and I'll just be met with like, blinking. And I'll be like, you can talk to me now. I'm asking a coach to try one or respond. Train them to said it too many times. Yeah. Yeah. So what are the the heavy ladies expect? I just think, the older I get the more, like, representation is important. think it's when you're a fat woman who maybe doesn't have confidence or doesn't feel comfortable in their body watching a woman who is pretty comfortable in their body confident. I think that might Byer, like, a little helpful. Yeah. You wanna say inspirational. It seems wild to say about yourself. I mean, have people said it about you. Yeah. People've been like, oh, you've inspired me to wear tank tops in the summer, crop tops. And, I mean, I only really started doing that in twenty fifteen. I'm going out naked because of you. I'm showing people not pussy, and I'm like, that's too far. But good for you for being comfortable and confident. Yes. It's -- Yeah. -- feels good when people are like, yeah. I woke up one day and was like fuck it. Yeah. Who, like How long did did you have to like, do work around this stuff? Not necessarily work, but I would wear like a short sleeve cardigan or like a coped sleeve in the summer. And then one summer, I was like, I'm just hot. And I don't think my arm fat is really that offensive. Right. Or, like, my stomach. I don't think that's super I don't think that's super offensive. And then I went to Palm Springs with friend. I was wearing bikini. This older man was staring at me. So I just looked at him and I was like, you, like what you're Yeah. So I just looked at him. I was like, you like what you thing. Yeah. And then he, like, really, had a moment. Like, I was, like, oh, I think I, like, unlocked something in it. Like, he was, like, I do like what I say. You broke him. I did break him a little bit. And then I thought I was like, well, if someone says something nasty to me or, like, stares at me. I'm like, I interrupted their day. That means I'm like, kind of powerful. Yeah. And I was like, well, that's fun. Yeah. And then people are like, you're promoting obesity. I'm like, how? I'm not getting money from big obesity. Like, nobody like, what do you mean They don't call it? I just call it at the food industry. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not getting a cut, but I'm gonna cut a shit. You said, go to the doctor. You're not getting a cut from the butter cake. People. But promoting obesity. Yeah. That's a thing people like to say. No kidding. Uh-huh. Yeah. That must if That's a I that's a whole different type of Karen. It's weird because it's, like, you wouldn't say to someone wearing glasses, like, you're promoting glasses and it's, like, no. It's just I wear glasses and it's like I just exist as a fat. Do you want me to not? Well, I think I think people associate with poor health. Sure. You know? But I also like pulled dance and shit and I like post those videos and I'm like, I'm strong. Like, I'm a strong person and I do move my body. People are People are just brewed. Yeah. No no question. Did you have to, like well, I guess, with with in terms of, like, was there a period where you needed to did you talk to a therapist about processing stuff? Not at all. My body. No. No. I when I worked at Lane Bryant, I we're, like, skin tight stuff -- Yeah. -- one day my manager was like, you know, that's not appropriate. And I was like, this is a fat people store. When the fats come and And I'm fat. You're fat. She was built like Shrek. I loved her. The fat. She like, it just was so wild to me that she was, like, that's inappropriate. I was like, I was, like, What? Yeah. That was, like, confused. And I was like, one of the things that like, kind of unlocked my brain, that I was like, even fat people are uncomfortable with was, like, one of the things that, like, kinda unlocked my brain, that I was, like, even fat people are uncomfortable with fatness. Yeah. And it's, like, It's just something that you have. Right. And you can change it. Sure. If you want -- Yeah. -- if you don't want to, like, Good for a walk every day. Make sure you get the house. I don't know. There's there's a lot there's a lot of bullshit wrapped up in body use the facts. Layton. Why do you like that? The facts yet? The facts are coming. No. My mother's terrified of it. My mother was an obese young person -- Mhmm. -- and her reaction to that -- Mhmm. -- like she destroyed all the pictures of herself that existed -- No. -- of her with weight. And she became, you know, fairly profoundly anorexic in a way, but then just sort of made it her way of life. Like, she's not inherently that unhealthy -- Mhmm. -- but maintaining her weight was like her priority for most of her life. That bums me out because it's like She made me crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It was all about she she once said, you know, if you were fat, I don't know if I could love you. That's the wildest fucking thing I've ever heard. Yeah. How interesting? Because of her own her own shame. But it's like if you're a nice person -- Yeah. -- and he got a little bit of fat, like -- Yes. -- it's okay. I don't know if she was just so uncomfortable with everybody else's fat. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. There you There you go. Dude, hate me. She would. Oh, no. She likes people, but it's just sort of like in her mind because of her feelings about Byer self image or whatever it was, she assumes that you must be going you must be just feeling as bad as her. Interesting. Maybe. I don't know. I don't think about it too much. I just worry about my own fucking dumb. Food things. I mean, sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh, boy. don't like this today. But then I'll like put on a bunch of makeup and put on a fun outfit and be like, Hmm, that was dumb earlier you look really then I'll, like, put on a bunch of makeup and put on a fun outfit and like, that was dumb earlier. And then you look really fun. So when did so the the classes who was teaching there? Who were the people when you were there? Used to Byer? You went through the whole thing? Yeah. So Sylvia Sylvia Ozles, she was my first teacher. Kevin Hines was another teacher. Porta Mesa was another teacher of Shannon O'Neil. Chris Quinn. Who was in your classes? People we know? No. Not really. I don't think any of those people perform anymore. Uh-huh. But I did meet Sashir through UCB. Uh-huh. Sylvia my 101 teacher and my 301 teacher had to put together a group of women from different levels, and she had me and Sashir there. And I remember performing with Byer. And I was like, boy, she's cool. Oh, boy. And she's funny. Yeah. I wanna make her my friend. Yeah. Which is now it feels insane, but I was like, I'm going to make this woman my friend, and then I did it. Yeah. I've done that before. It's something mean, it's it's you probably get, you know, one out of five. Yeah. Mhmm. The other four, like, No. Here she coped. New calls here again, and she's so happy about it. She's gonna wanna talk To us. Oh, she loves talking to Oh, she loves talking and smiling. I don't want it. But, yeah, she got it. She it. Good. Duck? She's Did you guys improvise a what together? Yeah. We had a group called doppelganger. It was me, Sashir, and another woman, Keisha Zoller. And Yeah. We performed a lot for years and years and years and we, like, traveled and did festivals and stuff. With the ECB? No. So, like, how you were an act. Yeah. We were traveling in Prada, which sounds insane. For doppelganger. Uh-huh. Doppelganger. We would go to, like, Canada and stuff for, like, Canadian festivals and I Well, so that was your first sort of like touring stage That was your first, like, sort of, like, touring stage work. Mhmm. And you would do mostly sketch festivals or what were they? We would do improv festivals. Oh, wow. didn't even know they existed, of course. Yeah. The one we went But they weren't competitions. No. But we did win best of the fest at one of them. I think that was the Vancouver. Improved festival. I don't know if that still happens. I like Vancouver. I like Vancouver too. It's a nice friendly town. Very friendly. Mhmm. Yeah. Almost too friendly. Sort of like what's going on here. A little bit -- Yeah. -- little bit. I I just I I think I do a joke up there. It looks like the whole city was built out of kit. That's funny because yeah. Because it does. It's just like adorable and perfect. Yeah. Like modern -- Uh-huh. -- general modern architecture. Yeah. Yeah. So okay. She's improv for a while. Mhmm. And are you auditioning? Do you start to get stuff? Yeah. So I I was auditioning, then the first thing I got was this Nestlé commercial for Israeli Nestlé. And they flew me to Romania -- Right. -- to shoot it, and it was like a five thousand dollar buyout. And I was like, five thousand dollars. And a trip to Romania. Yeah. was wild. Yeah. Romania is crazy. I I mean, crazy, but it was like my first time out of the country. So it was crazy to me. Yeah. I got picked up in a Mercedes. I didn't realize that there's so much cheaper over there. Yeah. I was like, this is Cloth seats in Mercedes is crazy. What kind of Mercedes is? This is like a Mercedes I could can afford. And I remember they like had to put me in a harness to make it look like I was flying and the stunt man was like, I remember they, like, had to put me in a harness to make it look like I was flying, and the stuntman was, like, Hello? I mean, is it racist if I do his accent? I don't know. What can I do? No. I mean, I don't I don't think so. don't think enough people know a Romanian accent. Okay. And I'm probably doing a bad one, but he was like, And I'm probably doing a bad one, but he's like, hello. I put the biggest man could find in this harness and hoisted him up, so I know it is ready for you. He was smaller than you, but I don't think you'll fall. But I was like, wow. Thank you. I didn't even know any of Thanks for this office. Thank you. There you go. Uh-huh. You're in the harness. But also, I was bigger than everybody in Romania. They are small people. I didn't know that. Yeah. Everyone was so tiny and I was like, boy, oh, boy, but also I have bad depth reception problem. So maybe it wasn't as big as I thought I was. Thought it was five seven until this year. I'm 55255. Yeah. Two holes or shorter. So what were you doing in the harness? Oh, swinging around like a F like a swinging around like a like a ferry and they used like fishing wire to like maneuver me around and I had to help a little bit. How's that not on the Internet? I don't think it is. I had it on my YouTube page, and I thought it was private for very long time. And I was sitting with my friend -- Yeah. -- and he was like, this not private. He's like, you it's not private at all. He's like, look at all the views. And I was like, oh, no. So that I made it private because I was like, I don't need the world to see does. And then I Oh, that's great. It's a wild commercial. It's truly wild. Yeah. And then one of, like, the very first, like, TV jobs I got. I was doing, like, little, like there was a website called jester jack I don't know. Like, little comedy videos here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh oh, yeah. What Josh? Josh. Josh. Josh. Yeah. Like the Remember when they started that, it was, like, they tried to get everybody on board. Mhmm. I remember they approached everybody. Reggie Watts, Sarah Silverman. Those were, like, the core people, but it I don't did it go anywhere? I don't remember don't remember it. Gosh. It was around for a little bit, and then it went away. I don't know if any of those I can't remember. Yeah. I remember there was like meetings at P it was one of the like, cause I noticed that about like a lot of the stuff you do is you definitely have the age of like new media remember there's, like, meetings that t it was one of the like, because I never said about, like, a lot of the stuff you do is you're definitely of the age of, like, new media Mhmm. -- business. But I remember Josh was the first sort of, like, you know you know, they were trying to make a a comedy content mill -- Yes. -- that was like funny or die. I don't know where which was first or what, but Josh was first and then college humor and then funnier than Right. Because Josh just sort of, like, didn't Yeah. I don't think they ever really found their footing. Right. Right. But I remember I went to a meeting remember I went to a meeting there. Had a building -- Yeah. -- had money at the beginning. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So you did stuff for them? Yeah. A couple of videos here and there. The UCB, we were do videos, and then me and some sure did videos. And then I got just a real bit part on Thirty Rock, and I was like, she's arrived. Yeah. Truly, I'm in the tag of an episode. So, like, you blink. You'll miss it. Like, my grandmother was like, you're excited about that. And I was like, and I was like, bitch. Yes. And then I got girl code on MTV, and then things started happening. That was it. Yeah. That was the one that was talking had once. Yeah. Where wait. It was girls talking. Yeah. Girls talking about, like, period. They're like, oh my god. When when is he your boyfriend? Yeah. Right. Yeah. Themes that never go bad, that never go away. Correct. Always a constant. Universal themes that never expire? Yes. So you were one among many? Yeah. There was ten of us, I think, something like that. And I auditioned for it, and didn't I, like, watched an episode of Geico today. Yeah. Okay. I get the show, and I was, like, I don't know if this audition's gonna be, like, because it's just talking. Yeah. So then I did the audition. I was talking. And I was like, I think I did bad. Yeah. And then my manager called, I was like, no. You got it. I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. And I had moved to LA at that point. And for whatever reason, they flew me back to New York to shoot it. Yeah. We just sat in front of green screen. Right. And there are green screens in LA. Sure. But they said no. Thank you. Well, MTV was in LA. Well, there's one in Santa Monica. There's an office there, but they flew me all the way to -- Uh-huh. -- New York. And they might've been might have been competing. The two offices. That was a cast out of New York City. Maybe. I don't know. You never know. Who knows? Clear. And then How long was that gone for a what? I think maybe two, three years. So you'd put do a bunch and they put in the can. Yeah. And you'd never know. It did show up in different episodes. Yeah. But you never knew what what you said would make it until what episode. So you're picking up some traction? Uh-huh. A little bit of traction. Action. Mhmm. I didn't know how many episodes I was doing because I never asked questions. Right. I booked this one Comedy Central Commercial where they were like, meet us fifty fourth in Broadway or eighth or whatever and get in this band and we'll take you upstate and that's what we're shooting. didn't ask single question. And I I was like, it was comedy was like Even know if it was comedy central. Who knows? I was like, you can merge or somebody this way. Like, what? They do. They do murder people that way. But, yeah, didn't ask a single question. And finally, I was like, how many episodes am I doing? They're like, all of them. And I was like, really? Oh, wow. That's a treat. I like this. This is MTV for no money. Yeah. I mean, mean Yeah. You're not right though. No. No. No. It's not it's not an unknown thing. I mean, it's wild how little they pay. I don't wanna shit on that because they did give me an opportunity. That's what they hang over you. Yes. They're like, it's exposure and you're like, okay. And I did say in one episode, I was like, it's funny. I'm on television, and I still babysit to pay my bills. And they thought that was funny and left that in the episode. Yeah. I was like, I that's it I don't know if it was funny. Yeah. It's it's not good. It doesn't make you a good -- No. -- good network. Yeah. Hi, baby sat for a very Long time. When we that was two thousand thirteen. Yeah. Huh? Like I have no idea what Like, I have no idea what happened, like, because I'm again, my the age difference is enough for me to, like, I don't even know what MTV was up. I don't even know what was up on MTV. In two thousand. Oh, you got your teen moms. You got your Jersey Shore. Uh-oh. Yeah. Ridiculousness. No music anymore. No. It's gone. Yeah. It's been gone. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry about it. No. I know. I know. But by the time you were there, there was no music. No music. All funny weird reality shows. So what happens after how do you start do you start getting recognized on the street and stuff? Yeah. Right. Which was very very very straight. People are like, I know you from Gautam. I'd be like, oh my god. Okay. Hi. Yeah. And then people Byer I wanna picture a little and I didn't realize how excited people yet when they see someone from TV. Like, it was overwhelming at first. People are shaking in Front of of you. Yeah. Yeah. And then I started doing stand up specifically because colleges were like, oh, this is a popular show. Kids like it. The customers can come do stand up. And I was like, I could do sketch an improv, and my manager at the time was like, no. Learn how to do stand up. Who's your manager? Oh, to this person, I do not work with anymore. Okay. He he he had ended poorly. Okay. But the one good thing he did say to me was, like, people are offering you money, and it's as if you're not walking to the table to pick it up. So figure out how to do it. Yeah. And he's like, if you don't love doing it, you don't have to do it. But, like, you might like it. You like performing. I was like, those. Okay? And it's colleges. Yeah. So, yeah. And he kinda I don't wanna say you can be shitty at a college, but there's a little bit of a grace period. Yeah. Because it's, like, I was twenty two, twenty three, they're eighteen. We're kind of at the same pinnacle of our life. And also like those crowds, a lot of them are too young to go out and do other Also, like, those prouds. A lot of them are are too young to go out and do other things. Yes. And, you know, sometimes they're lunchtime shows -- Mhmm. -- weird, you you know know? And they don't really they don't really know They're like they're like newbies to life, and it's their first time away. So there was vulnerability there. They're not, they're not going to buoy there. They're not -- Yeah. -- they're not gonna boo you. No. But some of them do. I've got some robot shows, but Really because of what bad eggs in the audience? Just they're just like, we don't want jokes. We want you to talk to us. Like, it was I think it was Louisiana. I would -- Yeah. -- do a show there where they would just weren't into jokes, and then I did some crowd work, had to kick them on stage. They, like, love that. And I was like, can I to my material? They're like, whatever. No. went back to material. They're like, no. So then I was like, oh, I'll just talk to you then and then they loved that. So it's like, you just gotta figure it out Crowd work. So, wait, did you go out and do clubs? So I started doing colleges and then I started doing clubs. And clubs are we like it? Standup. I do. I do. don't love a club. I, like, in the beginning, I think I still have, like, PTSD from the beginning of doing it because real adults didn't know who I was. It's just people coming to see whatever comment that's there for the weekend. Yeah. No. That works. And sometimes when you're in a Republican city, some you know, like, quite Republican people will go, oh, I don't wanna hear the opinions of a black woman -- Uh-huh. -- whose opinion agent has a point of view or whatever. And I would get heckled by them sometimes and like get like, I got into an altercation with a couple people where I'm like, what is it? Is it you don't like me? No. Great. You can leave. No. Oh, well, we're at a crossroads here. You don't wanna leave. I don't want you here. You have to go. And then it's I gotta spend my set yelling at people. Wow. But you couldn't get to the they wouldn't cop to what the hell the problem was. Well, there was one incident where I knew if I brought up money with this man, it would really make him angry. I said I make too much money to deal with you. Yeah. You have to go Right. And then he finally left and then I asked them, Andrew, I was like, did he bring up money And then he finally left. And then I asked Amanda, I was like, did he bring up money again? And she was like, he did. Yeah. I was like, didn't he call me a slur, and she was like, he did. And I was like, yeah, it's exactly what I thought it was. Yeah. So dealing with that early on was a lot. And these are you could tell which towns I mean, it was definitely a region. thing. So you do the colleges and you do a lot of them and then you, and then the manager is sort of like, well, I can get you on the So you do the colleges and you do a lot of them. Yeah. You and then the manager is sort of like, well, I can, you know, get you on the road. Mhmm. And then -- So you're headlining. -- headlining? Probably at the point where I shouldn't have been headliners. Oh, you probably got, like, what, forty minutes maybe? Yeah. Yeah. And then you stretch in, you try to do different it was it was That's it. Alright. Look, I I at another point in my life, I would have been more critical of that birth into comedy because it was really sort of, like, the idea what your manager said about leaving money on the table if you can pull this off because of, you know, your recognition factor. I mean, working for kids and, you know, playing with college kids is one thing, but doing the the real road is like enough. Is it? Yeah. But it sounds like you learned your lesson somehow. I did. When I ended up doing. Cause I was like, huh, be shows go differently than my college I was like, b shows go differently than my college shows. Yeah. And I was like, they know me, so they're giving me a little bit of Grace. Yeah. This -- Yeah. -- where people who don't know me are like go fuck yourself, bitch. This isn't funny. Right. So then I would do shows during the week in LA to be like, these people like me. Hopefully, the people on the road will like me. Yeah. So it was a backwards way to get into So it was a backwards way to get into it, but I knew at some point I had to get good or, like, figure out how to have a point of view. And, like, what do I wanna say? Yeah. Now I love it. Now I love doing I like doing theaters. I did the Wilbur in Boston. That's a good one. Oh, boy. What a fucking dream, man. Yeah. It was nice Boston is such a good I love Boston. Well, it's a good it's a good town. Like, I lived there for years. I started doing comedy in Boston. Mhmm. And, you know, there's it's a weird town. It's it's a little more segregated than you'd think. Mhmm. But but, like, they have that student population of about a quarter of a million every year, which gives illusion of -- Mhmm. -- of a of a progressive metropolis. Yeah. But there are pretty good dug in communities there, and and people are excited. It's a good audience town. Yeah. I like them. I do like some clubs. Helium in. Portland's really good to Portland's really good to me. I love them. Yeah. What about Denver? You do comedy work? Oh, I fucking love comedy works. Right. I had some of the best shows in my fucking life there. Like, people were just so nice. It's an electric room. Yeah. And you, like, feel the energy. It's tight. It's so good. I mean, the DCM problem is also Oh, I've been there in a lots of good room. Love it. What acne? You do acne? Not in Minneapolis. Uh-huh. But you're doing theaters too. Well, I would like to, like, transition to doing, like, small theaters. Yeah. I just there's, like, something about somebody paying, like, a little bit extra, and then there's no food minimum. And they're there to see him specifically. All of Yes. No one's wandering into a theater saying, this sears it now. This is, bitch. Okay. Oh, I like her. Yeah. Yeah. So the point of view kind of evolved because it seems like you're a fully sort of formed comedic personality. I think I think so. And you either like it or you don't like it, and that's fine with me. You know, people have criticized my special a little bit, but also people seem to really like it. And when I say bad about what did they say bad about it? Oh, they're just like you're not funny or whatever. But also, I'm like, did you watch enough that a candidate you? Yeah. Because that's nice. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. So you just keep doing a lot of TV bits here and there. And you had your own show? I did. I had my own show. It's called loosely exactly in a call. It was on MTV, then it was on Facebook Watch. And about six people watched it, but I'm, like, proud of it. I, I thought it was a very I I thought it was a very Did you write it with other people? Mhmm. Yeah. I had a show runner, and then this guy Christian, he wrote the pilot, coped wrote the pilot. And then we had room, and it was fun to be in a room and Right. That's all we have memorized. Yeah. Yeah. I learned about titles. I thought story editors were like the people who figured out story as opposed to, no, no, you've just been in a room and now that's your title bump. Yeah. So I learned about that. Learned how to break story. I learned how outline. I learned when you go off in script and stuff. Yeah. It was really, really, like, Standup It's like an introduction. Yeah. It was, like, really loved it. But it's interesting that, that it was like Facebook it. But it's interesting that it was, like, Facebook red. Is that what it was? Or Facebook Facebook watch. Yeah. Like, like, that didn't happen. Did it? I mean, they had it, but it was really hard to find on Facebook. Yeah. I there was just these weird things I remember them coming up and like, this is the new thing. It's like, is it, though? Yeah. Well, I feel like everyone said that about Netflix when Netflix is like, we're here to stay. One that looks like it was did they say that about Netflix? Because Netflix feel like people are like, no. I was just excited about whatever. I when they switched totally to streaming, It just sort of evolved. Yeah. I just remember I was excited to be able to rent DVDs. Me too. It was nice. They come right to your come right to your house. Yo. Yeah. You. It's nice. I don't, I I I don't I can't it's interesting because I can't really remember what the transition to streaming felt like. I feel like it was just a lot of people being like, Oh, no. You didn't say where you like. Alright. So now it just it's just on the TV. Yeah. It's like, you just turn it on. It's there. Yeah. You just look forward. Well, not on the TV, it was on the computer. Right. The computer. Right. Because that was, like, computers. And then True. Yeah. -- then it transitions to Byer, like, you can put it on your TV. Yeah. These monumental shifts in the way we see everything happen and I'm sort of like, what day was that? It was gradual. Yeah. It was a weird gradual thing. And now you're you have a hit show on Netflix. Yeah. Which is really fucking cool. It's hard. It doesn't happen much. No. It doesn't. And they They seem to keep doing seem to keep doing it. Yeah. People like it. It was funny because they were like, it's green lit. They're like, okay. I was like, I don't even know how to host. I don't know anything about baking. And then the show came out. No billboards. Nothing. Yeah. And then people just fucking found it. I don't know how. And then it really snowballed into this, like, really, like, it's a thing. It's and there's other shows that are definitely, like, inspired by it, which is, like, really cool. Yeah. And then I got nominated for an Emmy and I was like, oh my god. So now I get to lose to RuPaul every year, which is honestly very cool. Are you friends with RuPaul? I mean, we're not like friends, but I've gone to be on drag race. Yeah. And Ru is a very kind person and funny. Yeah. Like, just so funny. Yeah. So you do a lot of the acting, but the the thing about hosting is very specific thing. It's a skill. So you realize at some point because, like, when when I started doing comedy, when people do I was talking about this to my producer. There was a time where Game Show host was a a specific job Mhmm. -- in entertainment. On television primetime, there was there was game shows. There was a lot of them. Most of them were broadcasters of some kind. But now these shows have evolved to a point where the the host is half the show. It has to be part usually, they were just driving the thing, and they could be funny. But now it's, like, it's all, like We want you to help shape what this show is because they had an idea. They just didn't know what they, like, how to not how to execute. You have a guest guest, celebrity, and you have the regular chef -- Yes. -- Jim Torres. Yes. And then you have the people. Yes. And the celebrity is either gonna, you know, just chime in or not. Uh-huh. They're like, oh, I guess I'll do it. Yeah. Do I have anything else that kind of in the beginning, people were just like, what is this? Yeah. And we had more culinary people in the beginning. And now it's transitioned to more like actors, comics. Yeah. Asap was on an episode, and he truly was like, I don't know, friend of mine said this was funny so I came. I was like, okay. And he was he was so fun. Yeah. But, yeah, it's been interesting. It's a it's I'm having fun. And what about the other one? Do you now? You're like you hosted another one like, he hosted another one too? Yeah. I host Wipeout out what John SINA. And that keeps going? Yeah. The new season premieres. I should know this. That's alright. But there's none. But that's one of those ones where people like, alright, you gotta make it to the other side -- Yes. -- without hurting your balls. Yes. And then yeah. Yeah. And it it really tries to hurt you. Yeah. And the way some of these people fall, I'm like, oh, boy. Will you be okay. But it is wild to watch these people do the obstacle course. Because they there's obstacle course people. Yeah? I got friend and that's this thing. Really? Yeah. A grown up person. He does obstacle courses. You know, like, they have teams and stuff. Mud. Oh, ikes. Too. Yeah. All that. I could never. No. Too hard. Yeah. I asked to do the obstacle course, and they were like, maybe and then I dislocated my ankle and I was like, this is a sign from whoever's out there that I shouldn't do that. Oh, you get to a certain age where it's sort of like if you're gonna hurt yourself, really, you know, consider I don't know. Like, the older we get, you gotta you gotta be you gotta train to do shit. Yeah. And you gotta stretch real fucking. You gotta stretch. Yeah. And then you gotta stretch good after. I know. Yeah. I worked out this morning. I didn't stretch after. Oh, no, Maron I don't know what's gonna You're gonna be sore. Something's gonna happen. You're gonna be sore tomorrow. Always. Always. I learned how to do a headstand the other day. And I did not stretch very well afterwards. And now, I'm just very sore in the shoulders. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's cool. So the Now you're now you're doing a straight up sitcom. Yeah. The Grand View. Grand View. Grand View. And NBC. It's like a real network. It's I watched I watched a bit of three. There's only three up -- Yes. -- right now. Uh-huh. And don't know why Garrett Morris doesn't open all the shows. I, I mean, I don't know either, but yeah, I was I I mean, I don't know either, but Did you watch him? Yeah. I was there. I was there when he did it. It's funny. He's great. And very kind and really nice. My trip, though, the way he delivered Uh-huh. I thought this guys like this guy's gonna present all of it. But that's it. Is he out? That's it? He doesn't come back. Maybe he comes Next season. I mean, hopefully, we get a second season. I don't know if you shot. We shot ten, and it was great. My friend, Phil Jack, and created it. We used to do improv in New York together. And it was just surreal to be able to, like, create a fucking network show with like a good friend that I came up with and Echo Killam who's also on the show who plays my brother. We run a sketch team for four years together out here and then Carl Tarte who's also on the show. We've done improv together at UCB. Jennings is on the show. He was on Lucy Exactly Nicoles, show on MTV. So, like, I knew him a little bit. And then Justin Cunningham in Gracie Mercedes, I didn't know. But, like, truly are great. They're just nice people who are nice to work. Everyone's nice. And did you are you part of the creator? Are you No. No. Phil, he created it. And then You're just cast. Yeah. I was cast. He -- Yeah. -- but he wrote it for me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nice. Well, yeah, it seems like a fun show where people are just young people. Going through life. Going through life learning about love having a good time. Yeah. Yeah. He's drinking wine. Oh, who doesn't love who doesn't love wine? I drink a lot of wine last night. Did you? Yeah. How was it? It's good. But then I got home and I burnt a pizza. Okay. I put so I forgot. I need to put it, like, if I use parchment paper, you gotta put it in the middle. Yeah. And not close to the top or, like, the Byer The parchment. Burns. Oh, it burned. And I opened the oven. I was like, it's smoky and here. Yeah. And I opened the oven. I was like, the pizza's fully on fire. Here. Yeah. And I was like, oh, no. Don't forget a fire extinguisher. And I was like, oh, no. Just turn off the source of the fire and close it so it can't get oxygen to get bigger. Right. And then -- Yeah. -- I was like, what are you doing? You gotta go to sleep. There you go. Almost burned your house. Now you got to house and you gotta go to sleep. You gotta throw that pizza away. You gotta wang. Go right to bed. Your punishment is no pizza. No pizza for you. You fucked that up. So now have you been are you done with stand up for the time being or what? Well, I was supposed to do a show earlier this month to, like, test out a new hour to, like, go tour with it. But that got canceled because of The disease. Yeah. Maron or whatever. I'm the whatever. But so you have a new hour. When was big, beautiful weirdo? Was that last year? Two years ago already? I shot that September Labor Day of last year. And you already got a new hour? About, I say, like, forty five minutes? Were you been working that out? Around town? Yeah. Yeah. I've been working out, like, fifteen minute increments. So, like, I opened for Nick Kroll, and I did ten. And then I opened for tag, and then did that ten again. I was like, oh, now it's fifteen. Yeah. And then someone else gave me twenty minutes on another show. And I was like, oh, okay. So now I've like made that ten is now twenty. Sure. And then I've added some to it think now it's probably, like, twenty five and then I have, like, a half hour of old stuff that I hadn't Fold it back in. Yeah. Until I get, like, a full hour that I'm having. Oh, good. Yeah. It's a We don't know when you're gonna No. I don't wanna I don't I don't know. Feels weird to be like, coped, see me, maybe you'll die. I know I'm about to go know. I'm about to go out. I don't know. I I've been doing store though. Like every night I don't, I there's some part of me that's sort of like, fuck every night. I don't I there's some part of me that's sort of like fuck it. Mhmm. You know what I mean? I've done all I can. Yeah. I mean, are we just gonna stay in house? I can't, the house I can? Yeah. I don't know. I guess guess not. I don't know. I get, like, we I I don't know. I've been doing outside shows. Yeah. I didn't do any those. I can't do it. You know how fuck that? Well, I just it felt like it just felt like too much of a compromise. Like, even during the peak COVID, I was like, I can't, like, I can't bring myself to, you know, I love comedy. I don't care if during COVID, I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever do it again. Mhmm. I I literally had that thought of, like, maybe I'm all better. Maybe I don't, maybe I don't need to leave my house at night to get on stage in front of people and be like, can you please laugh at me so I can sleep I don't need Maybe I don't need to leave my house at night -- Right. -- to get on stage in front of people and be like, can you please laugh at me so I can sleep tonight? Exactly. But but the outdoor shows just felt like doing one night or so. Like when I was just starting out, when you do anything, that's how they felt to when I was, you know, just starting out, like, when you do anything. Yeah. That's how they felt to me. Mhmm. It's like, I'll do anything. Yeah. And I wasn't gonna do it. Fair. Yeah. And you did it. I did them. You liked it. Yeah. Ish. Well, I was just like, I need to figure this out and This might be the This yeah. Maybe we're all just gonna be outside forever. Also, I was don't know. I was taking COVID real sick because, like, I don't know, I smoke it. Right? I used to smoke. I quit. Did you? Fine. Are you lying? Did you just catch yourself in a while? No. I quit. Yeah. I quit on the third. It's probably better. I quit years ago. Allegedly. I was on nicotine lozenges for over decade. Oh, yeah. I loved him. And I was I haven't smoked in a long time, but it only been a couple years off the nicotine. I mean, it is I mean, it is tough. Yeah. I read this book and it's just like, you're addicted. That book. Tihihihihihihihihihihihihihih. The book, the easy way equipped by Allan Carr. You read it. I did did. But it did it. It worked. I'm not I mean, kind of. In a way where, like, in the book, he's, like, people live and they never touch a cigarette again. I finished the book and I was like, okay, I get it. Yeah. I would love to touch cigarette again. I would love to fucking smoke, but, like, It's not helpful, not good. Yeah. No good. It's not good for anything. No. And then people are like, you're stinky. I'm like, am I? am? I'm like, like, yeah. Like, okay. No one smokes anymore. Yeah. It's not cool. Nothing. Not cool at all. all. at all? You gotta go smoke at lunch. Maybe isn't yeah. It's not for me. What is in that? I don't Exactly. And And for whatever reason, I was like, vaping seems worse than an actual for whatever reason, I was like, beeping seems worse than an actual cigarette. Yeah. So I'll just keep smoking them, but now I don't. Good. And what did you replace it with? Nothing. Yeah. He aggravated. How long has it been? The third was today. The third? Yeah. Today is the tenth So seven days? Yeah. Oh, so you just get it. Oh, Oh, Yeah. It's gray. We're managing pretty well. Doing pretty well. Well, it feels it feels insane because, like, I have, like, routines. Like, if someone's at my house, we would hang out or whatever when they would gonna have a cigarette. Before Byer, would have a cigarette. So, like, now, before bed, I'm like, what do I do? I know. I just, like, stare at my wall till I fucking fall asleep. Alright? Well now w well you tried to eat a what will you try to eat a pizza? It sounds like They tried. Yeah. And then that caught fire. You did get smoke going there. I did. So just just tell me the all these how many podcasts you do nine? Too many. So there's why won't you date me best friends with since years, the Meda 90 day bay with my friend Marcy, where we talk about 90 day fiance and the newcomers with Warren lap guests, where we talk about why won't you date me? Best Franceshers made ninety day bay with my friend where we talk about ninety day Beyonce and then newcomers of Warren Lappus, where we talk about movies that I just started from New Jersey. Oh. Jersey. We talk. It comes out. Every now and again. Let me talk talk about Yeah. heard it. Yeah. Are these all weekly? Yeah. Oh see you Oh, so you're busy. Mhmm. Alright. It's good. Are you happy? I think I'm I think I'm happy. Mhmm. Who's to say? Guess, me. You you you're the last word on that. I'm happy. Good. Well, it's nice meeting and nice talking to you. It's nice talking to you. Yay. We did it. That was Nicole. Always funny. Always going. Again, her series crew is on NBC, new episodes on Tuesday nights. You can see her on at all of the episodes have nailed it on Netflix or stand up special on our podcast, but it was a lovely to talk to her. And a reminder, this podcast is sponsored by better And a reminder, this podcast is sponsored by Betah help online therapy, better help us customize online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat with your therapist. It's more affordable than in person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under forty eight hours. 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