Try and understand the difference between pain and suffering as it is suggested that suffering is optional. This podcast starts with the verse from Shrimad Bhagwat Geeta about suffering. In the verse it's clearly mentioned that cause of suffering is not the external factors it's not your soul, it's not the God, it's not the other person; The only one responsible for all the suffering & pain is one's 'Uncontrolled MIND'. Let's understand HOW? This podcast might help in answering few of your questions.