0:00

You made it weird, you made

0:02

it weird, you made it weird,

0:05

oh yeah. You made

0:07

it weird, you made it weird, yes,

0:09

you made it weird, oh yeah. You

0:12

made it weird with Pete Holmes.

0:15

What's happening, weirdos? This is Johnny Knoxville.

0:18

What a thrill. Johnny

0:20

Knoxville is here. He's promoting his

0:22

new movie, which I watched the

0:24

night before we did this podcast,

0:27

called Sweet Dreams. It's a beautiful,

0:29

beautiful, funny, interesting, great, kind

0:31

of a new side of Johnny Knoxville.

0:33

He's an incredible dramatic actor and it's

0:36

also very funny. It also has Jay

0:38

Moore and Bobby Lee. The

0:40

whole cast, Theo Vaughn, is stacked

0:42

with people that give unbelievable performances.

0:44

It's heartwarming, it's funny, it's about

0:47

sobriety, it's kind of like a

0:49

bad news bears feel, but in a

0:51

new and fresh way. I really, I'm not

0:53

just saying this, recommend Sweet

0:55

Dreams. It is out in theaters

0:57

on April 12th, Friday, and it

0:59

will be available for digital on

1:01

April 16th, which is Tuesday. Definitely,

1:04

definitely, definitely give it a watch, Sweet

1:06

Dreams. So glad you guys are here.

1:08

If you want to see me live

1:10

the show I'm plugging these days, what

1:12

am I plugging these days? Denia Improv

1:15

in Florida. I keep getting

1:17

emails being like, push, push Florida. So

1:19

maybe old Holmes isn't selling as great in

1:22

Florida as he wants to. So

1:25

help me out, Florida. Help me out, Floridians.

1:27

Go to peteholmes.com. Come see

1:29

me at the Denia Improv. I'm telling

1:31

myself, maybe Floridians are just super chill. And

1:33

they're out there in linen shirts on Segways,

1:36

smoking cigars, and they don't make their weekend plans

1:38

till the weekend. So hopefully I'll see you there.

1:41

Also, I have my show May the 4th in

1:43

Los Angeles for the Netflix is the Fest show.

1:47

peteholmes.com for that as well. Also my

1:49

vinyl Dirty Clean with all the proceeds

1:51

going to Homeboy Industries is at peteholmes.com.

1:53

Everything's at peteholmes.com. Come see me on

1:55

the road. I'll be out there. I'm

1:57

out there. All right. peteholmes.com. That's

2:00

it. That's it. All right,

2:02

everybody, enjoy the incredible Johnny Knoxville

2:04

and check out Sweet Dreams in

2:07

Fridays in theaters in Fridays this

2:09

theater. All right, get into it.

2:12

Okay, I did it. All right. Well, when

2:15

I was 15, when back when tigers

2:17

used to smoke. I

2:24

did stand up once when I

2:26

was 15 at the Funny Bone

2:28

in Knoxville, Tennessee, because I read somewhere that Eddie Murphy

2:31

did it when he was 16. Oh,

2:33

you wanted to scoop him? Yeah, I wanted to scoop

2:35

him. Like, I'm going to, you know, one

2:38

up Eddie. But so I wrote

2:41

like five minutes

2:44

and went and did it and it

2:46

was terrifying. I was going to say

2:48

like, not to, because I don't know

2:51

if you know, I'm a comedian. I don't know

2:53

where it ranks in

2:55

like the terror scale as someone, you know,

2:58

who's done all the things you've done adrenaline

3:00

wise. I know you only did it

3:02

once in a long time ago. But where do you

3:04

rank it? It's up there

3:06

with the most frightening for me. Really?

3:08

I'm like, less than ever. What?

3:11

Exile. That's the risk. Yeah, a group

3:13

of people could like, fucking hate

3:15

you. I just felt

3:19

it was terrifying. And my

3:21

sweat pits. They already

3:24

back in high school, we're out

3:26

to here. Yeah. But when I was performing

3:28

that night, they almost touched in between my

3:30

chest. You get the center one. Oh, yeah,

3:32

yeah. Just a unit. It's a bra. Yeah,

3:34

yeah, you got a bro moisture bra. Yeah,

3:36

call that. It's terrifying. I was just at

3:38

a this is weird, but I was just

3:40

at a I did a silent retreat. And

3:42

I wasn't silent. It was a meditation retreat.

3:44

And then they were like, there's a talent

3:46

night. I was like, Oh, no, it's a

3:48

meditation retreat. There's a town. Isn't that kind

3:50

of like, you'd think, but it

3:52

was opposite of what you're trying to do. I

3:54

agree. But it ended up not to be this guy,

3:56

but ended up being kind of like a powerful thing for me

3:59

because it was like, what point is peace

4:01

if you can't incorporate it? For me, most

4:03

people were like reading poems, you know what

4:05

I mean? It wasn't like a real like

4:08

razzle dazzle night, but people knew I was a comedian

4:10

and people started asking me, are you going to do

4:12

the talent night? So stand

4:14

up to me, having done it for over 20 years,

4:17

no longer gets me to that pit stain,

4:19

super adrenalized point. But if you make me

4:22

do stand up in a situation where people

4:24

aren't, I love doing stand up

4:26

at a club where you're like the fourth

4:28

stand up and you just slip in and

4:30

it's the most natural thing in the world. This is

4:32

a talent night. People are reading poems about like non-duality

4:35

and how silence has moved them and touched them. And

4:37

then I have to be like, wow,

4:39

my heart, you have to wake everyone

4:41

up. Yes, exactly.

4:43

Like, let's please kill

4:46

me. But

4:49

my heart was jacked.

4:52

And this is, I know you're so much

4:54

more than a stunt person. By the way,

4:56

I watched Sweet Dreams last night. It's fucking

4:58

fantastic. Oh, great. Thank you. Fucking fantastic. Thank

5:00

you. I'm not just saying that. Well, I

5:03

appreciate that. My wife and I watched it.

5:05

We can, we can just go right into

5:07

it. I really see, as an actor, have

5:09

you ever gotten this? You remind me of,

5:11

are you

5:14

ready? Go ahead. It's a good one.

5:16

Yeah. Jack Nicholson. Oh,

5:18

well, thank you. There's a,

5:20

there's a Nickel-sonian quality

5:23

to your face and the subtlety of your, like

5:25

I find myself very, it sounds like I'm buttering

5:27

your bread, but I was really genuinely like, what

5:30

am I, what am I feeling right now? And

5:32

I was like, oh, it's that cuckoo's

5:34

nest all the way up. Well, I

5:36

mean, style. I don't mind if you

5:38

steam my oyster. I'll see you

5:41

over there. I thought it was fantastic. Thank

5:43

you. I appreciate that. And also, one more

5:45

compliment about the movie. It's like, you know,

5:47

it's a, it's a recovery house with misfits

5:50

and they're going to play a softball game

5:52

to save the house, right? That could be

5:54

so bad. You know what I'm

5:56

saying? Yeah. It could be so bad. Yeah.

5:58

And everyone, Neo nails it,

6:01

you nail it, Bobby nails it,

6:04

Mo, Mo Hammer, everyone's nail it,

6:06

and whoever shot it, whoever directed

6:08

it, whoever did the music, I'm

6:10

like, you guys, one

6:12

of the things that excites me most about cinema,

6:15

film, is like when you take

6:17

something that isn't, and

6:20

when Johnny puts his glasses on,

6:22

he's a different, he thinks in

6:24

Korean, you know what I mean?

6:26

Like high concept, craziness, can't miss,

6:28

green screen, just

6:31

jizzathons, and somebody can

6:33

get simp, somebody takes

6:35

a simple, I

6:39

wish I was lying. What do you mean, you've done

6:41

a jizzathon? I can't miss green

6:43

screen jizzathon? No, I've

6:46

seen Pontius, Chris Pontius do that,

6:50

but not in front of a green screen. A

6:53

jizzathon? Yeah, yeah, we didn't start out that

6:55

way. One time it did, and one

6:57

time it didn't. Wait, is this a

7:00

prank that involved, or a stunt that involved jizzing?

7:03

You're saying all the nice things about the movie too, and

7:05

then I take it to this. No, it's okay. No, but

7:07

you said jizzathon, and I was triggered. No,

7:10

you were inspired. Inspired. There

7:12

is a lot of, I remember we had

7:14

Steve on the show, and he was like, I'm gonna

7:16

jump out of a plane while I'm jacking off, and

7:18

I was like. No, he didn't though. I

7:21

talked to him about that. I

7:23

talked to him about that. Tell me. I

7:25

backed off, came, and then jumped.

7:28

Yeah, you gotta come in the air. I'm like,

7:30

you gotta pull and shoot and jump. You know,

7:33

you gotta jump as you're shooting. You have to

7:35

jizz while you're free fall. I never wanna criticize

7:37

Steve-O, but something I've told him to

7:39

his face. I'm very honest about the notes I give

7:41

him. And the note was,

7:43

you gotta jizz as you jump. As

7:46

you're falling. As you jump. You

7:49

just jump, and woo, yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:51

The trouble is, fight, flight, your body's not letting

7:54

you jizz if you're free falling. It's a miracle

7:56

that he jizzed. How do you know? Tell,

7:59

trust me. Okay,

8:03

I stay corrected. Dude, I'm someone who has

8:05

a hard time peeing at the ballpark. There's

8:07

no way you're using your free fall. Like,

8:10

you know, your body does weird things when

8:12

your knees... I hate that. When

8:14

your knees start shaking, like they're literally going

8:16

no. Your knees start shaking? I get wobbly

8:19

knees. I know if I wanted an airplane,

8:21

my knees would start shaking. I guess I

8:23

just... My nervous reaction

8:25

to sweating. No knees

8:27

wobbles. What about the steady hand? Uh...

8:31

The steady hand? No, no. Does

8:33

it shake? Yeah, a little. But...

8:36

I shoot with this hand. Blazing

8:38

saddles. Are

8:42

you soapy noodles? Soapy noodles? Are

8:45

you sober? Oh. I

8:48

was trying to bring some pun into it. I thought

8:50

that was a cockney rhyming slang of blazing saddles. No.

8:53

No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

8:55

That's interesting. You played it so... I'm just a

8:57

dingus. I'm like, wow, he's

8:59

recovering. And I'm like, maybe he's sober.

9:01

I don't know. You feel like

9:03

a guy... You've done... You've had such

9:05

an interesting life that... I don't

9:08

know what I'm saying when I say you seem like

9:10

a sober guy now. Well, maybe I've came

9:13

out the other side. I've had my

9:15

period of excess. Yeah. And a

9:17

lot of my friends have been in the program

9:20

and are in the program. Yeah.

9:24

And I had an alcoholic father.

9:27

So I've had a lot of

9:29

experience. And then you're also

9:31

surrounded genetically. Yes. You don't have the

9:33

allergy? This isn't an accusation. No, no.

9:35

I... Yeah. Like,

9:37

there are times in my life where I did... was

9:40

drinking too much, but I always found

9:42

a way to, like, turn

9:44

it around. You could stop. Yeah. Yeah.

9:47

I could stop. I read somewhere

9:49

that on your first wedding, you gambled away...

9:51

is gambling a thing too? Like you had

9:54

your money for the wedding and you gambled

9:56

it? That was just, like, a one-off thing.

9:58

Like, I like to bet on... Tennessee

10:01

college football games so you but that's the it

10:03

but that's the only thing I bet on I

10:05

know your wife should have known that you

10:08

know I bet on Tennessee football games when you

10:10

may I didn't then because I didn't even have

10:13

enough money yeah you know I

10:15

borrowed more money for my friend John

10:17

Linson and either

10:19

jizzing guy no no no

10:22

yeah he's he

10:24

has a legitimate career

10:26

okay in Hollywood he

10:29

bought it Yellowstone oh guys

10:31

yeah okay so yeah he

10:34

let me borrow money and I to

10:36

get married yeah and then you bet it yeah

10:39

how much of your life I we

10:42

were just meeting are you living

10:44

your life leading question as

10:47

if it's gonna be written down

10:49

somewhere like you strike me as

10:51

a guy that's like I'm

10:53

gonna make my life a story

10:55

like even that this guy

10:57

lends me money I'm in Vegas to

10:59

get married do you have

11:02

a little not wicked but

11:04

mischievous guy that goes like it's a

11:06

pretty funny story if you make this

11:08

bet even if you lose well you

11:10

gotta be careful how you choose your

11:12

heroes because like

11:15

I was surrounded by these larger-than-life

11:17

characters from my father and all

11:19

his friends they were wild boys

11:22

yeah they were wild and and

11:25

then all my a lot

11:28

of my heroes in literature yeah

11:30

are larger than 100s Thompson and

11:32

yeah so Trevor

11:34

from Grand Theft Auto yeah

11:37

you play that and go hey play what Grand

11:40

Theft Auto do you not know I'm talking about I

11:43

know what you're talking about I haven't played it if

11:45

you played it heavy knocks oh

11:47

yeah heavy knock if I were

11:50

you this is me this is you playing that game

11:53

yeah no but it's very you know why

11:59

because it's very hunterous Thompson. They're

12:01

doing like the, can

12:03

you say boondock? What do you say? Redneck?

12:05

Is any of this okay? Back

12:08

with me, man. Whatever you say. I

12:10

get worse and worse. Yeah, fucking crack

12:12

a piece of shit. But you know,

12:14

like the wild boy living in kind

12:17

of a rural area that wants to

12:19

ride a tractor off a

12:21

jump. But then Hunter S. Thompson brought

12:23

this like legitimacy to it. I don't

12:26

have to tell you. I'm kind of

12:28

explaining like the journalistic lens of taking

12:30

psychedelics and shooting guns and losing your

12:32

mind. That was one of your heroes.

12:35

Yeah. Why did I guess?

12:38

I mean, I did just make them

12:40

sound pretty awesome. Um, you know,

12:42

just yeah, you

12:44

did. I did. Why? Why would you like someone

12:46

like your own question? So but how do you

12:48

hear the better one? How did you find him?

12:50

What? What blew

12:53

me away when

12:55

I was around

12:57

19 ish 20. I

13:01

read Fear and Loathing Las Vegas. And

13:03

I remember

13:06

when I read On the Road

13:08

by Jack Kerouac, I was

13:10

14. My cousin who's a singer Roger Allen Wade

13:12

gave me the book to one

13:15

of those books. It's one of those

13:17

some magical figure gives it to you

13:19

books. Yeah. Yeah. And my cousin is

13:21

a magical figure like an OB or

13:23

a Han Solo really. Yeah. And,

13:26

and I didn't know people

13:28

live that way. And they

13:31

were that free, free

13:34

and you

13:37

know, bold. Yeah.

13:39

And so that was the first inkling of I've

13:42

got to get out of here of

13:44

town of Knoxville. I say this all the time.

13:46

Jack Jake Johansson great comic has this joke. He

13:48

goes I'm from Iowa until I realized we were

13:51

free to leave. Yeah. Isn't that great? Best thing

13:53

come out of Tennessee's I 40 way. No,

13:57

I love Tennessee. But where I'm

13:59

from to to a certain extent, but like where

14:02

you're from is always gonna be where you're

14:04

from. Yeah. And the leaving is the thing

14:06

for me. I have a bias for

14:09

that. I love to leave him. That doesn't

14:11

mean I do kind of sometimes

14:13

look down on people that are just like,

14:15

I've been here for 70 years. And I'm

14:17

like, yeah, cute, but also wasn't for me.

14:21

Yeah, I remember even as I was really

14:23

young, my, I would

14:25

hear all these stories about people

14:28

growing up, oh, when he was young, he

14:30

was the best ball player in town or

14:32

he was, she was

14:34

this, she, and I'm like, well,

14:37

what happened? Yeah. They

14:39

just, they just stopped

14:41

playing, stopped doing what they made

14:43

them great. And I couldn't understand it at

14:46

a very young age and it upset me.

14:50

It upset me. Um, I get

14:52

upset by it still. Yeah. I

14:54

started thinking about people I started with and

14:56

I remember their bits and it's a

14:58

righteous anger on their behalf. It's

15:01

not belittling or condescending. I'm just like,

15:03

motherfucker. Wasted talent. Yes.

15:07

Oh, that drives me crazy. It drives me crazy

15:09

too. Um, so

15:12

you wanted to leave, you read Jack Kerouac's On the

15:14

Road and you were like, yeah. But then I read

15:16

Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Lilding Las Vegas and

15:19

it was the same type of, uh,

15:21

feeling. I didn't know people

15:24

could write like that

15:27

and, and just completely, he

15:30

felt creatively free

15:32

and that

15:35

was a real goal. There's some

15:37

people that just seem to get it younger.

15:39

I don't know how they do it, that this is

15:42

a weird dream we're having. You

15:44

know what I mean? And like, why

15:46

do you have to put on khakis

15:48

and go,

15:51

you know, it's that Terence McKenna thing like find

15:53

the others, like the other people that are going

15:55

like, wait, I know it sounds like we're in

15:57

a college dorm room with a lava lamp. obvious,

16:00

but it bears repeating. It's like,

16:03

this is insane. Reality

16:05

is insane. To be alive is insane.

16:08

And we put all of these rules, oh,

16:10

that's from Mad Men. He goes, and society puts

16:12

all these rules on you to

16:14

make you forget that you're born alone and you die

16:16

alone. And this is Don Draper, he goes, but I

16:18

never forget. And those are

16:20

people that are like, no, I don't

16:22

buy it. And again, I'm

16:24

not putting these people down, but I

16:27

know a lot of people that, my parents are some of

16:29

them. I just don't know if they're out there

16:31

going like, what the fuck is going on? They're just kind

16:33

of like, I went to Cooperstown, I went to the baseball

16:35

hall of fame for the 300th time. And

16:37

I'm like, we're in outer space,

16:40

dad. What is going on? And people

16:42

like Hunter S. Thompson seem

16:44

to get it. Like fuck you, I don't

16:46

understand what you're even saying. We're

16:49

hyper evolved primates on

16:51

a space rock. And you're like, and

16:53

you have to get married when

16:55

you're 22 and you go into

16:58

the space. And some people choose

17:00

that and they're very happy and

17:02

content. Great. It

17:05

just wasn't for me. Had

17:08

you done psychedelics when you read Fear and Loathing? Because

17:10

I hadn't and I didn't know what the fuck was

17:12

going on. I had done

17:16

acid a couple of times and

17:19

I felt like, well,

17:22

let's not do that again because it's

17:25

such a commitment. If 12

17:27

hours, like with uppers, you can take

17:29

downers with downers, you can take uppers,

17:31

you can counteract, but with acid, you're

17:33

stuck. With LSD, you have to reconcile

17:35

with your dad. You just can't do

17:37

anything for 12 hours except for a

17:39

trip. Yeah. And it keeps

17:42

coming back. I felt trapped. Yeah. So

17:44

I'm not claustrophobic, but in those moments I'm like,

17:47

I have to get out of it. What's inside

17:49

of you? Yeah. It's literally

17:51

got the controls. Yeah. Derevocably

17:53

in your system. Yeah. And the next

17:55

time you took it, what happened? Do you remember? Yeah,

18:02

I remember... No,

18:05

I don't remember some specifics.

18:08

I guess I took it three times once. Like

18:11

it was the three drops, the window pane

18:14

in the eye. We went to the beach.

18:17

You get drops of acid in your eye?

18:19

Yeah, it was liquid acid or something. And

18:21

then I did it with

18:24

this guy. Your

18:27

eye doctor? Your ophthalmologist? Let's

18:30

get fucked up my way. And

18:33

then I did it with this dude who had like a... You

18:36

know what a band dog is? A band

18:38

dog? Yeah, it's like a... It's

18:41

the size of a great dame, but built

18:43

like a Rottweiler. No. And it was such

18:45

a smart dog. Like we would go out

18:47

to bars and we'd go... And he'd go, we'll just

18:49

leave it in the car. No one will mess with

18:51

your car. Wow. Yeah, and...

18:53

He takes it for his spin. Super

18:56

smart dog. Very smart. He's signaling. But

18:58

I remember we took acid and we

19:00

just hung out at his house. And

19:03

he had no water and I was so

19:05

thirsty. And it was... I think it

19:07

was the last time. Was the water off? I

19:10

don't know. I don't know. That's an acid

19:12

thing. You didn't realize there was... I couldn't

19:14

put it together. But yeah,

19:17

so... But no, it wasn't the... You

19:19

didn't have like... The psychedelics that struck

19:21

me. It wasn't like a unbelievable... There

19:23

weren't like peak parts of it where

19:25

you touch the face of God or

19:27

anything like that. No, no. There was...

19:29

You were just... The... I'm

19:32

sure there were some good, but the bad

19:34

outweighed the good. And it was paranoia?

19:37

Or just unstoppable...

19:40

Yeah, it's just like... The

19:43

waves and waves of... Shit

19:47

that kept hitting me. I was like, this is

19:49

about fun. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Well,

19:52

in this dude's house with his giant Jim

19:54

Henson dog... I don't remember us going anywhere

19:56

else. Yeah. That just laid in the floor.

19:59

This is before... You were Timothy Leary, it was

20:01

like set in setting. You guys should have been on the

20:03

beach. No scary dog. No

20:05

car that you're afraid is gonna get broken

20:07

into. It sounds like you were drinking as

20:09

well. Everything about this was

20:11

off. Yeah, so. But

20:14

when you read Hunter S. Thompson, you kinda had a frame

20:16

of reference though. I mean, he's got a lizard driving his

20:18

car. I was like, what is this, a

20:20

dream? Like I read it way too young. I

20:22

was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And

20:25

then, but you kinda got it. Did

20:27

you ever meet him? Yeah, I met him two

20:34

to three times, a couple

20:36

times, two times. Once,

20:39

I was completely off my

20:41

tits at the Viper Room and he walked

20:44

in and I met

20:46

him and he was, I

20:48

was so wired

20:50

for sound. Like I

20:52

was walking around with a George Form, a Joe

20:54

Frazier doll and a Muhammad Ali doll and a

20:56

stun gun. And he's like, keep

20:59

that dude away from me. And it's

21:02

not that like I frightened Hunter

21:04

S. Thompson. It's just, I was annoying. Yeah.

21:07

You know, it's just, I was too. You must get

21:09

this. I mean, now

21:12

you're the guy walking in the Viper Room and someone

21:14

comes up and is like, I have a mousetrap on

21:16

my scrotto. Can you get the fuck away from me?

21:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that true? I

21:20

mean, that's the only thing. Yeah, people do that. But the

21:25

second time I met him was in New Orleans. I

21:29

was out drinking with Sean

21:33

Penn one night and he's like, well, let's go see

21:35

Hunter. And I'm like, let's

21:37

go. And he was

21:40

sitting, he was, when we walked into a bar and

21:42

he was just laying on the

21:44

bar and he had

21:46

his doctor's bag next to him and

21:48

he was very depressed. He

21:51

was like, just, you

21:55

know, just kind of like his head down

21:57

going, ah. My

22:00

back, he was in pain and oh

22:02

my, I've lost all my friends. My

22:04

friends are dead. And just really like

22:08

morose and finally

22:10

Sean kind of razzled

22:12

out a little bit. Yeah, like, hey, let's come on, man. Let's get

22:14

out of here. And

22:17

so we got out of there and went back

22:19

to his hotel room and people read from the

22:21

curse of Lono. And he like papped

22:23

up a little? Oh yeah, he was fully back in

22:25

it. He got fully back in it then. Oh

22:28

wow. Yeah. Send in pen. Yeah.

22:30

Send in Sean pen. Yeah, so that was

22:33

a great night.

22:35

Wow. That's incredible. And

22:37

he read from what? I don't know that one.

22:39

The curse of Lono. I

22:42

didn't want to read. Everyone was there. I was

22:44

so, I was so, altered,

22:51

you know, I had taken a

22:53

bunch of amphetamines and I was

22:55

drunk and the curse

22:57

of Lono has a lot of Hawaiian

23:00

names, you know. It's

23:03

like in high school when you're going around and you'd practice

23:06

my paragraph. It was like 12 people in

23:08

the room. All of actors and

23:10

actors. You have to call

23:12

it Sean pen. Sean

23:16

pen, Hunter's editor, I

23:18

think it's Brinkley. Christie

23:24

Brinkley? Yeah, Christie Brinkley. Wow.

23:27

And the book would, and Hunter, like sit

23:30

there as people, you know, the

23:32

speed at which you read.

23:36

The music of it. Yeah, he wanted it a

23:39

certain way and he'd give notes. This

23:41

turned into a nightmare. Yeah, and I was like,

23:44

when the book come around to me, I'm like, I'm too,

23:46

I'm too loaded. Well,

23:49

anyone would understand, right? Did he understand? Or did

23:52

he go, no, give it a try. For the

23:54

first few times and finally, finally,

23:58

like, come on, man. And I

24:00

was like, oh fuck, all right. So

24:02

I started reading and I got

24:05

halfway down the page and there

24:07

it is, there's a big long

24:09

Hawaiian word and I read for a

24:11

little bit and

24:13

I stumbled on a couple words, he's like, I

24:16

don't know what's happening, usually he's very

24:18

bright and I'm just all my fear

24:21

of not reading. It

24:25

was coming true. No,

24:28

he's usually so bright, bright, bright,

24:30

bright. And

24:33

there's Sean,

24:36

I'm like, fuck it. You

24:38

know, yeah, yeah, so. That's

24:40

a nightmare. Yeah,

24:44

it was fine, but it was, in the

24:46

moment, it

24:48

was now, it's funny, but

24:50

I just, I don't

24:52

think I could have read Dr. Zeus

24:54

that night. You know, much less. Actually,

24:56

Dr. Zeus, the, it's pretty. You

24:59

mean Zeus? Dr. Zeus, yeah, it's pretty.

25:01

Not a great gun. Oh,

25:03

I hate reading Dr. Zeus. It could trip

25:05

you up. No, after a long day of

25:07

parenting and my daughter picks Dr. Zeus, I'm

25:09

like, God damn it. It's

25:11

so hard, you're like, Mary Muck was feeling

25:14

a nook and went down to the street

25:16

for dinner, God damn it. Yeah, you

25:18

gotta be on your toes. No, I don't

25:20

care for that, I don't care for that.

25:24

So can I ask you a question? We just

25:26

had John C. Riley

25:28

on. He's wonderful. Isn't he great? I love him. Don't

25:30

do an impression of him. That's a hot trap. I

25:32

don't care, is that, do people do that? I did

25:35

that once, I think, at Largo. I didn't bring it

25:37

up, because he's so, he's such a

25:39

solid guy, I didn't wanna be like, do you remember when I

25:41

did an impression of you at Largo and I don't think you

25:43

liked it? He didn't seem like he would

25:45

have been like, laughing at that, I think he would have

25:47

been like. Well, I do like it.

25:50

Today and uncomfortable. Exactly,

25:53

exactly. Meeting,

25:56

maybe he thinks it's disrespectful. I don't do it

25:58

out of, nobody does out of disrespect. I don't

26:00

think. But anyway, I asked him about acting and

26:03

it really changed my view

26:05

of it. Because

26:07

I was like, famously, almost any time I

26:09

have an actor on this podcast, I talk about

26:12

this Ted Danson story where he breaks

26:14

from a scene and he walks over

26:16

to his other actors over

26:18

by the video village and he says to them,

26:20

he goes, isn't acting embarrassing? And everyone

26:23

laughed really hard. And I really relate to that

26:25

because I'm a performer and I really want to

26:27

be like real. And I

26:30

think and I find it very embarrassing if we're talking

26:32

and then let's say we're doing sweet dreams and then

26:34

we're talking and then they go action. And then I

26:36

start acting like I'm mad at you. I think that's

26:38

just sort of something I

26:40

have to get over. Right, right, right, right.

26:42

That's the job for me. The money is

26:44

for the weirdness. The sound guy is there

26:47

and he just knows you're faking. Yeah. Like

26:49

that's weird as an animal as a human

26:51

animal. It's weird. I'm glad that you understand.

26:53

John C. Riley was like, I've

26:56

just never even felt that for a

26:58

second because I've always just

27:00

loved honoring the world of

27:02

make believe pretending like getting into the

27:04

so I'm very curious where you are

27:06

having been so impressed with your acting,

27:08

especially in school. Thank you. And

27:11

I'm just wondering, is that your experience?

27:13

How do you find it? Is it natural for you? It

27:15

took me a long time

27:17

to get over

27:19

the fact of that.

27:22

Everyone is looking at you,

27:25

looking at me, you know, and the

27:28

camera in the beginning.

27:30

Yeah. And that's

27:34

what like on the shoot. I'm much

27:37

more calm on the shoot than

27:39

I'm still, I still

27:41

hate auditioning. God damn. That's

27:44

the worst. Anything worth. It's the worst

27:46

and I'm not and I'm not good

27:48

at it. Who is it's a

27:50

totally different skill. Some people are good at it.

27:52

I know. And then they're not good in the

27:54

movie. Yeah. Well, I'm saying sometimes Yeah, with you

27:56

know, I did a TV show, someone would nail

27:58

it in the audition. They're just good at

28:00

auditions, it's like sales. They're like really

28:02

good at sales. And you're like, wow,

28:05

what a firm handshake or whatever you'd be taking

28:07

with them. Doesn't mean they're great. And if so

28:09

many people can't audition well, here, can

28:11

I put this to you? Offer me the

28:14

part, I'll come in and I'll

28:16

do it, and I'll do it great, and it'll

28:18

be interesting. Make me audition. I can't, for some

28:20

reason, I can't do that. Because

28:22

it's like a low status. Like

28:25

suddenly I feel stupid, like I'm

28:27

taking some dumb chance and they're

28:29

judging, do you relate to that?

28:31

The judging

28:33

is the hard part and

28:36

I get really internal as opposed

28:38

to being free. And

28:42

that's no way to work. You

28:46

gotta be free and just like, hey,

28:48

I hope this one works. I'm gonna give you

28:50

a very specific comp. Johnny,

28:53

you didn't know, the movie's not even out yet.

28:55

You're having the conversation with the guy with the

28:57

most specific compliments. It's gonna be downhill from here.

29:02

The first time you go to bat in the movie, again,

29:06

people in recovery play softball and you play

29:08

softball. And there's a long, I

29:10

guess you call it a tracking shot. Somebody's on

29:12

a steady cam walking by the fence and you're

29:14

going to the bat. So it's

29:16

a long shot. And you hit

29:18

the first pitch and

29:20

there's a lot of nice magic captured.

29:22

There's a moment where Bobby hits his

29:25

hand, like catching the ball, just like

29:27

real organic, real softball. It's great. But

29:30

the moment where you are this reluctant, successful guy

29:32

who doesn't want to be on a

29:34

softball team full of losers, I'm assuming that's your

29:37

feeling in that moment. What the fuck am I

29:39

doing here? But then you can't help.

29:42

You hit it, you go to second. Bad

29:45

movie, it's a home run. Love

29:47

that it's a double. And

29:50

it stays on you. Here's

29:53

two things I want to say. Someone

29:55

is walking with you and that's awkward.

29:58

It's hard. I find that type of action. to

30:00

be very tricky. You're supposed to just be thinking about the game

30:02

and there's literally a guy, and

30:04

there's somebody pulling his back. And then when they're on the field,

30:06

now you have to hit that ball, it's in the script, you

30:08

gotta hit it. Johnny hit the ball. And then

30:11

run to the thing. You gotta do it. And then

30:13

the second comment, so I loved how natural you were

30:15

when they were tracking, and I know that's hard to

30:17

do. And two, I love the smile you did. My

30:20

wife and I both, we paused the movie and

30:22

we talked a little bit about the smile. And

30:25

how you could've ruined the movie. If you could've

30:27

ruined, you

30:29

could've ruined the movie. In that moment,

30:31

with a dumb smile. If

30:34

you went like, like

30:36

a bit, like too big, it

30:38

had to be. Like Paul Lynn? Yes.

30:41

Like Tony Paul Lynn? Yeah, if you did a Paul

30:43

Lynn smile, the movie, the soul

30:46

of the movie is that moment, is that

30:48

we believe that your character can't help but

30:50

kind of love the feeling of playing baseball,

30:52

softball. Yeah. And in that moment you did it. In

30:55

fact, my wife, I'd love to do it with you. You

30:57

can say no. We play a game called

30:59

Smallest Smile where we put our

31:01

head down and you put your head

31:03

up and then you do the smallest smile you can possibly

31:06

do. Do you wanna do it? Ha ha ha ha ha.

31:09

I'll go first so you can see. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

31:12

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh man. Because you

31:14

gotta do it in the movie. Okay. I'll go first

31:16

so you can see what it's like and it's very

31:18

simple. You ready? Ha

31:23

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

31:25

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

31:27

ha ha ha ha ha ha

31:29

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

31:31

That was like Clint Eastwood trying to smile with the

31:33

good, bad, the ugly. Yeah. You know.

31:36

It was just tiny. Yeah. Wow. I

31:39

don't know. I think, I don't know if I can... I'm gonna tell you a

31:41

tip. Okay. If you think

31:43

it's too small, it's not. If you can

31:45

feel it, you're doing it. Okay.

31:48

Fuck. All right. So... You

31:50

just look down. Okay. We'll come up. Did

31:56

I even do it? In my mind, I did

31:58

it. Was

32:00

it twitching? Somehow! Possibly

32:03

you just twitched the

32:05

line! It's just

32:07

like no one... If I

32:09

asked you to do that, you'd be like, No one can

32:11

do that. But you did it. That's funny. Oh

32:14

man. It was excellent. It was

32:16

excellent. That's... You

32:20

did it in the movie? I was just... I was just... Well,

32:24

I mean, I... Growing

32:26

up, baseball, like, was

32:28

the only thing that I was ever sort of good

32:30

at. So just in that

32:32

moment, it wasn't too hard

32:34

to... Re-capture. Yeah.

32:38

It's just so fun. My son's 14

32:40

years old and he plays. And

32:43

just... When he's like, Hey

32:45

dad, you want to go throw? It's

32:48

the highlight of my day. Really?

32:50

You know, my daughter does the same thing. Will

32:52

you hit volleyball in the backyard with me? Yes,

32:54

is the answer. It's so fun, man. It's

32:58

out of your head, right? You're moving. I

33:00

just... Be out there with them

33:02

and doing that because they're getting older and then

33:04

they're... Of course, of course. It's just like... I

33:07

was overthinking it. It's just fun. But that's what

33:09

I see in the movie is like... There's

33:12

certain things... I have to say, everybody

33:14

at their baseline is Enya. Nobody's Metallica.

33:16

Nobody's Speed Metal. Do you know what I mean?

33:19

If you can calm anyone down, we're all

33:22

Enya down here. And

33:24

something about a group... Do you know what I mean? We're

33:27

talking about Steve-o. We're all Enya.

33:29

We're all Enya. Oh, fuck. You

33:31

give Steve-o... 20-year-old Steve-o. You get

33:34

them breathing. You

33:36

get them regulated. You give them massage. Give them some

33:38

nice smells. Give them a dim room. You calm them

33:40

down. He's Enya. I don't care

33:42

who you are. Yeah, you try that on 20-year-old Steve-o.

33:49

We tried everything on... Well, we'd have to trap

33:51

him. You know what I mean? We'd have

33:53

to trap him. Yeah. And

33:55

maybe tie him down. Let the angel

33:57

dust wear off. Exactly. Exactly. Well,

34:00

whatever he was doing exactly but no but

34:03

he's like I mean he just I Mean

34:06

it wasn't like that. It is the hardest thing Getting

34:09

me. Yeah. Yeah, he just As

34:13

hard as he was going doing drugs.

34:16

He went even harder Getting

34:18

and staying clean. Yeah, and it's that's

34:21

that's real bravery. Yeah for sure, you know

34:23

for sure and it makes sense. I

34:25

mean I Addicts

34:28

typically very black and white. I'm not officially an

34:30

addict I don't I'm not a card-carrying addict, but

34:32

I'm one of those people that goes like and

34:35

stop Yeah, and that becomes the new

34:38

It's like one of the tricks of life is

34:40

to is to use our wounds in ways

34:42

that serve us So if you can get

34:44

addicted to sobriety, I know that sounds like

34:46

a little pithy phrase But it's

34:48

true you get like yeah, and that's kind of

34:51

in the movie, too God

34:53

damn sorry to talk about it I know you

34:55

guys haven't seen it's not out yet But there's the

34:57

first a a meeting and how good is Jay Moore

34:59

in that scene? Yeah, Jay's great. It's incredible That's

35:01

another one of those moments where we were like that

35:04

could have ruined the movie if

35:06

his share after your share Hey,

35:08

what I love about it I know people haven't seen

35:11

it but like what I love about

35:13

a a and what this movie shows about a

35:15

a is that you Give this share. That's like

35:18

I don't want to be here. I fucking hate

35:20

this I don't want to

35:22

be a person where the highlight of my

35:24

life is dumb fuck meetings like this Mm-hmm

35:26

and to be a loser like you guys.

35:29

Yeah, and everyone claps and Val and

35:31

I are crying We're like literally crying

35:33

because we're like that's the program. That's

35:35

not just a a but that's what

35:37

support and love looks like Yeah in

35:39

a relationship in a group, but something

35:42

about a group of men applauding another

35:44

guy Saying fuck you

35:46

you guys suck. I don't want

35:48

to be here. Yeah, and they're all like We

35:51

felt just like you and I have the chills

35:53

just remembering it Wow like Jackass

35:57

too. It's like men needing each other men

35:59

wanting to prove themselves themselves, men wanting to be

36:01

accepted by one another. I'm not trying to

36:03

force a connection, but I see like a, we

36:07

need community, we need groups, we need feats

36:09

of strength, and sobriety is a feat of

36:11

strength. We need more

36:13

whiskey and amphetamines. I

36:16

believe. I shouldn't have married it to

36:18

jackass. I got greedy. I got greedy.

36:21

I got greedy. We did

36:26

need each other's validation. Well, there is,

36:28

I can't be the first person to

36:30

say that jackass is like, men

36:33

have no, in our culture,

36:35

I don't just mean in certain states or anything. I

36:37

mean the whole thing. We have

36:39

no rites of passage. We have no

36:41

older men telling younger men, you're with

36:43

us now, very rarely. And

36:45

look at any other culture, most cultures, ancient

36:48

cultures in the world. They all have

36:50

some sort of, you take the

36:52

boy and you bring him away

36:54

from the house and into the tribe of

36:56

men. I understand there's lots of

36:59

gender studies and anthropological issues that I'm not

37:01

smart enough to explain or understand, but I'm

37:03

just saying what it was is

37:05

men would, some of them are beautiful. They'd take

37:08

a young boy and the father would put on

37:10

like a wicked mask and they'd wrestle and they

37:12

let the boy win. They're not all humiliation. And

37:14

now you're in and now you're with us. And

37:17

when I see jackass and

37:19

maybe it is just methamphetamine

37:21

and whiskey, sure. But boys

37:24

be kicking each other in the balls and they want

37:26

to prove their strength. They want to prove their might.

37:29

There's nothing, anything?

37:35

Does that sound? No, I mean

37:37

the rites of passage. Double

37:41

mic. Steve-o and Pontius

37:45

performed a lot of rites of passage on

37:49

wild boys. And one

37:51

of my favorite, which

37:53

really fucked Chris Pontius

37:55

up was you to

37:58

become a man in this. One

38:00

culture, I forget where they

38:02

were, maybe Indonesia. They

38:06

had to put on a glove of

38:08

bullet ants. And bullet

38:10

ants, I think, may be one

38:13

of the worst things in the animal kingdom.

38:15

Oh no. And Pawnee, they both did it.

38:17

And Pawnee's had the worst reaction.

38:19

He had to go in the hospital, his face

38:21

swole up real bad. But

38:25

they became in that day. Yeah. So. I knew

38:28

more of like dig your own grave and sleep

38:30

in it stuff. That just sounds like abuse. And

38:33

that's where it gets really tricky, right? Yeah. Did

38:36

you, growing up,

38:38

were you one of those like, I'll show you

38:40

people? I mean, we got into show business. Were

38:42

you like itching to like razzle

38:45

dazzle stand out? I

38:48

did, well, my

38:50

father was always the center of attention in

38:53

any room he went in. He just absorbed

38:56

energy. He's very, he's like a, he's

38:59

actually an introverted extrovert. But

39:03

in the public situation, oh yeah. He

39:06

should have, I think he would

39:08

have been happier in show business,

39:11

but that just wasn't even on the

39:13

agenda. Yeah. I feel similar about my

39:15

dad. My dad's a real, he's

39:17

like the mayor of Somerville. Like he goes

39:19

in the bakery and we went

39:21

to Dunkin Donuts last time, was at home. Everybody knew

39:24

him, everybody's talking to him and he has a joke

39:26

for everybody. And I wouldn't, it's certainly

39:28

not jealousy. I think it's a, I

39:30

wish there was a good jealousy. When he sees what I'm doing, I

39:32

see him kind of being like, I

39:34

could have razzled him. And

39:37

I think he could have. Well, there's a

39:39

whole thought. I don't know who discusses this

39:41

sometime. I

39:44

don't know whether it's a big comedian, but

39:47

it's like, I

39:49

don't know if it was Jerry Seinfeld who's like, my

39:51

father was very funny,

39:53

but he wasn't ever, he never

39:55

got into show business. And

39:58

then there's a lot of. people

40:01

like that way of the son or

40:04

daughter will go into show business and

40:06

become you know like

40:08

the echo of the father's sort

40:10

of propensity or whatever yeah

40:12

it's kind of beautiful would

40:15

you want your kids to go into show business? if

40:20

they wanted you know because it's not

40:22

all horrible, I feel similar with

40:25

a Goldie Hawn they didn't let their daughter

40:28

act until she was I don't know if it was 18 or

40:30

21 or something so there

40:32

was like no child acting shit but

40:35

like later if you're still into it you

40:37

can do it that resonates

40:39

with me yeah my oldest daughter has

40:41

done acting and now she works in

40:43

production so

40:47

and we would growing up if one of

40:49

our friends asked if can they

40:51

use her in a video or a film yeah you

40:55

know we'd say yeah because we

40:57

knew the people and so that happened a

40:59

number of times did they seem to have

41:02

the look at me bug and but I

41:04

don't mean the bad thing no

41:07

they don't Rocco

41:12

did ask you know he's saying I what

41:14

he wanted to get

41:16

a job and make some money I'm

41:19

like well you could if you want you

41:22

could go on commercial auditions because one of his buddies

41:24

he was just telling me a story like two minutes

41:26

before one of his buddies got a commercial I said

41:29

would you want to do that? he's

41:31

like yeah yeah I'm

41:33

like all right well so

41:37

did he? oh he might

41:39

yeah he might I gotta make the

41:41

call have you seen the movie

41:43

the Hollywood Complex it's a documentary about the

41:45

what is it called Oakwood

41:49

is it Oakwood Apartments there's

41:51

those apartments every pilot season there's no real

41:53

pilot season anymore but back in the day

41:56

they used to live there for a little bit you know what I'm

41:58

talking about? Yeah, yeah, okay.

42:02

So, you know, they did a doc about

42:04

it. Anyway, there's just something about seeing some

42:06

kids that it's just not for them and

42:08

they're reading commercial copy and I

42:10

don't know if this is offensive, but it's an impression of a

42:12

single person, not an entire group and she's going. I love

42:15

corn pups, sweet popcorn, delicious in my mouth

42:17

for breakfast, put it in my face. And

42:20

her mother is like, no, say, put it

42:22

in my face. And

42:24

they're just in the car and

42:27

you're like, this kid's not getting

42:29

it. When it's wrong, it's so

42:31

wrong. It's just not

42:34

for everybody. So I hope you're sudden,

42:36

you know, you gotta want to read some copy. It's

42:38

not. Yeah, I'm going

42:40

to work with them

42:42

because it can be super, I mean,

42:45

we've discussed. Yeah, and the rejection, you

42:47

still feel it. Yeah, and just how

42:49

awkward it is. Yeah,

42:53

so I'll go over all that with him

42:55

and if he still wants to do it, he's free too.

42:57

But did I cut you off there? You said when acting

42:59

you have to get over how everyone's looking at you. And

43:02

then I started talking about that tracking shot.

43:04

Did we cover the embarrassment thing? Like,

43:07

are you embarrassed when you're acting? I don't. Not

43:11

natural. No,

43:13

not embarrassed. Just,

43:16

just, just

43:19

anxious and uncomfortable. When

43:22

I began. Now I'm to the

43:24

point where I'm

43:27

still awkward at the read through. The

43:29

read throughs are like auditions almost. And

43:33

they do recast them after the read through.

43:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've never been,

43:37

but I've seen that happen. It's

43:40

not really a read through, is it? That's just

43:42

a friendly name for the real. Yeah, they say,

43:44

oh no, this is just to hear it out

43:46

loud. The studio just wants to see it. They

43:48

want to see if you're worth what you just

43:50

negotiated. You say you're worth it. But once,

43:54

now I'm on the set and I've

43:56

relaxed. I'm relaxed. It takes a long

43:58

time. To

44:00

get relaxed in whatever you're

44:02

doing for a living. Yeah,

44:05

whatever you're doing true and

44:08

it's Especially

44:10

in this type of thing it's it's

44:13

mandatory that you Because

44:17

otherwise You know you're

44:19

just inside yourself Yeah, and being like

44:21

kind of the leader of these guys,

44:23

you know We had to believe

44:25

that they would want you to lead them not

44:28

that comes from natural Confidence and

44:30

all that sort of stuff see again. You did

44:32

a really great job. Thank you. Well, it was

44:34

a crazy cast it Like

44:39

on the on The

44:42

first day it's like it's weird because I

44:44

don't know whether I just got it in

44:46

my head because of the the story but

44:49

just walking on the set and they

44:51

all seem like It

44:54

was everyone's first date, but it felt like

44:56

they had been shooting for three weeks before

44:59

I got there. Mmm Because

45:01

the scene would you know would get to the

45:03

end of the scene and just Improv

45:05

improv improv. Everyone's making everyone laugh

45:07

having a ball. Yes, and

45:10

I just felt like

45:12

not part of the The

45:15

group wasn't that good though kind of

45:17

yeah. Yeah, it's good and maybe I

45:19

put myself there. Yeah But

45:24

It I I felt more part of the group

45:27

as it went along I guess I guess

45:29

I put myself there because it kind of mirrored

45:31

the movie, but I remember feeling like Wow,

45:34

these guys are it's a really

45:36

tight-knit bunch. Yeah. Yeah. Well

45:38

that did help. Yeah the story Yeah, I

45:40

wonder if it wasn't the story if you

45:42

were supposed to have already been there you

45:45

would have merged Maybe you were unconsciously prepping.

45:47

Mm-hmm part. Yeah now that I think about

45:49

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we sent you. Fuck your khakis and get the perfect

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jean. All right, back to Johnny.

49:36

You mentioned your dad a couple times,

49:39

big personality. Did

49:41

you only ask

49:43

leading questions? Did you feel like there wasn't a lot

49:45

of room for you? That's my leading question. No.

49:50

There was ... I

49:52

never felt that. Yeah.

49:54

Because, I mean, my parents

49:57

were very ... support

50:00

of like growing up I

50:02

played a lot of different sports and they

50:05

were at every practice, every game.

50:08

They were super invested in all

50:11

of the kids and

50:15

I never felt like I was pushing

50:19

for space or pushing to be

50:21

heard because I like

50:23

just sitting and listening to him because

50:26

he'd go off on one of his rants or one of

50:28

his insane stories. Your dad was entertaining to you. Oh,

50:31

endlessly. I

50:35

mean aren't most kids kind of like

50:37

dad? You were just

50:39

like this fucking guy. Oh yeah. You

50:41

loved it. Oh loved it. I

50:44

like my cousin Roger I remember being

50:46

on the couch and dad's telling some

50:48

insane story about all

50:52

the people that work for him like

50:55

Woodrow Wilson, Boxcar, Johnson Jr. Great guy.

50:57

Woodrow Wilson worked for your dad. Woodrow

50:59

Wilson, Boxcar, Johnson Jr. Oh that's one

51:02

person. Yeah. His

51:04

father wasn't even a senior. He

51:06

was always like getting arrested for

51:09

some stupid petty crime. Yeah. And

51:12

dad would love to tell stories on all

51:14

the guys that work for him and so

51:16

I'm just dying at everything he said. Yes.

51:18

Yes. So this feels familiar. My father and

51:21

my late Uncle Larry who I loved very

51:24

much would tell these crazy stories like of

51:26

a different time like some drunk driving story.

51:28

Not my dad but Uncle Larry and

51:31

he like pulled up on someone's lawn and

51:33

then he's put in part, got out and

51:35

sat on the curb. The cop showed up

51:37

and he was like, yeah the driver left.

51:39

He ran away. He's

51:41

gone. Like that

51:43

was his and it worked. That's so good.

51:45

And they were like, he's gone. He's like,

51:47

yeah he took off. I know he left

51:50

the keys in my hand but he's gone.

51:52

That was his last act was to leave

51:54

the keys in my hand. He

51:56

knew he was in trouble. He knew he shouldn't have

51:58

been driving. He said all day. He

52:01

said, give me the keys that have a big

52:03

L for Larry, which is my name and this

52:05

is my car, but someone else was driving it!

52:07

That son of a bitch. And

52:09

we would love those moments. Yeah. So

52:12

you would love these tales that your dad, and

52:14

that, did that inspire the performer in you? Were

52:17

you like a guy, I want to be like this guy? I wanted

52:19

to make

52:22

people laugh. I

52:24

mean, I don't know if I even

52:27

cognized that really, but

52:29

that's what it was. I wanted

52:32

to be able to make people laugh

52:34

like my dad did. Yeah.

52:40

And it's like

52:43

his group was a really

52:47

good hearted, but a rowdy group.

52:49

They got in all kinds of trouble.

52:54

What kind of

52:56

trouble? What kind of trouble? I

52:59

mean... Alligators

53:03

in the house? I mean, his best

53:06

friend, Jackie Gilbert. Dad

53:10

was... Jackie

53:15

was... Neil

53:18

Cassidy and dad was Jack

53:21

Kerouac. Jackie

53:23

was doing always... He was

53:25

a boxer growing

53:28

up and he

53:33

ran away from home on a donkey when he

53:35

was like eight. He would

53:37

just take off to

53:40

Nicaragua or Mexico, hitchhiking

53:42

across their country. Hitch

53:44

donkey? Yeah. No,

53:47

he was donkey-less, but

53:49

he was always just... He would call that up and

53:51

he was like, hey, I'm going to Nicaragua tomorrow to

53:54

hitchhike around and want to come. And dad's like, Jackie,

53:56

I got to work. He's

54:00

also a crop duster and he taught my

54:02

dad how to fly and he crashed his

54:04

planes like 14 times He

54:07

rode the wall the death wall at the fair on

54:09

a motorcycle He would he

54:11

was always flying Things

54:14

in and out of Mexico not like drugs, but

54:16

you know People

54:18

sometimes or whatever sometimes we'd

54:21

have hey, this is

54:23

Hector Hector's gonna be living with us for a

54:25

while you know You're

54:29

just landed Hector just landed

54:32

Did you fly this fucking guy

54:34

Jackie over the airlines? And

54:38

he loved fighting people he would get

54:40

he'd gotten fights up until his 70s

54:42

Wow. Yeah Sometimes he would

54:44

just hang down at the airfield with pair two pairs

54:47

of boxing gloves and people get off there out of

54:49

their planes Like hey, you want a box and

54:52

if you look at Jackie the answer would be

54:54

no Yeah, you know he had like

54:56

he carried his teeth in his pocket most of the

54:58

time. He had the gold fronts Slick

55:01

back hair the nicest guy

55:04

he was so sweet to my family and

55:08

You know my father

55:10

and him had a couple of plane crashes More

55:14

than one. Yeah. Yeah, your dad's just

55:16

limping in the front door like and again

55:19

Jackie was obsessed with Donald Duck so he'd

55:21

come get my Donald Duck cartoons when they

55:23

go fly somewhere and one time

55:25

he took my Donald

55:27

Duck glasses and they were flying over

55:29

Alabama or somewhere and the

55:31

plane starts stalling and Dad's

55:35

like oh shit Slobby wake up

55:37

Jackie and Jackie's back there

55:39

sleeping with the Donald Duck sunglasses on and he

55:42

has to like get up front And land the

55:44

plane in the field and it flipped But

55:47

they were all fine. Thanks to those

55:49

Donald Duck. Yeah, so this is insane

55:53

Yeah, I was and this was somebody that you was

55:55

this a formative person for you. I mean it

55:57

seems like maybe yeah I mean I loved Jackie

56:00

I like I actually had Interviewed

56:02

my father and Jackie for Jackass world

56:04

we had a website for two seconds

56:07

And it's one of my favorite interviews because

56:09

dad's just I'm just interviewing

56:12

them both about their friendship how long

56:14

they've been friends and dad loves telling

56:16

the stories on Jackie and Jackie's

56:19

very understated you know Trying

56:22

to fight the camera guy. Yeah, he never Know

56:25

he would never I mean like box like

56:27

box. Yeah. Yeah Yeah For

56:30

a challenge he loves he loved

56:33

and if someone said a crossword to him out

56:36

in public Would not even

56:38

think about it. Just lay him out really

56:40

yeah, yeah Like

56:43

what what would be over the line? Cuz

56:46

I can I tell you I'm gonna give you a real one.

56:48

I'm walking to the comedy store. I parked a few blocks away

56:52

Or what it doesn't matter and I pass a lady Let's

56:55

say with a guy cuz I'm assuming he's not hitting ladies

56:58

No No, but she's walking right at me and

57:00

I'm just on the sidewalk and she goes excuse

57:02

you and like went around me

57:04

I've been thinking about that lady for days. It

57:06

really hurt my feelings. I Didn't

57:09

do anything wrong right, but she treated me

57:11

like I was like some fucking blue doe

57:13

it was like You

57:17

I was like lady I moved

57:20

there's room Right you I

57:22

don't get an excuse you I know who gets

57:24

an excuse you it's not me Still

57:27

I'm still mad about it. Yeah guy says

57:29

excuse you to Jackie. Is that rude enough?

57:32

No, some guy said something smart to

57:34

him at the

57:37

airfield once He

57:40

got broke up and then He

57:42

goes and Jackie never Swore

57:45

he's like dad Jim dad

57:48

Jim I ran down him it ran into

57:50

him at the handy-dandy the other day. I'm

57:52

like, yeah what happened? I just Went

57:55

up to him and punched him. I'm like, did

57:57

you say anything to him before that? No The

58:01

punch is the communique.

58:05

It is. Just any

58:07

con...to converse is like...

58:10

Why? No. Why

58:12

let them know what's about to happen? No,

58:15

the guy can see him coming, but you know. The

58:18

walk over is the hello, the punch

58:20

is the goodbye. Oh man. He was

58:22

the best. Jackie

58:24

was the best. Did you get

58:27

in fights growing up? Yes. Like

58:29

what? A lot of fights. A

58:31

lot of fights. Yeah. That's

58:33

just from the area I was from,

58:36

South Knoxville. Unless

58:39

you wanted to take a lot of shit,

58:41

you had to fight. Like honor fights. I

58:44

wasn't thinking too much about honor,

58:47

but I just...and plus my mom

58:49

would tell me, he's

58:52

like, if you let someone push you around, you

58:54

know, you're gonna get in... More.

58:57

Even worse trouble when you get home. Yeah.

59:01

Wait, your mom was like, don't be

59:03

a candy ass? Don't take shit from

59:05

anybody. Yeah. This

59:08

is a scene in Black Mass where he's

59:11

like, if you hit somebody and nobody sees

59:13

it, did it happen? Like that was your

59:15

mom? Your mom is... Mom

59:17

didn't want me to take shit from anybody.

59:19

And then... My father either, but it's

59:21

like, see, my mom was more of the... Old

59:23

school. Stand

59:26

up for yourself. Yeah. Like... So

59:29

what would happen? Somebody would

59:32

make funny, yeah? Or someone

59:34

would provoke you, throw a rock? I'm really

59:36

out of my depth here. What happened? This

59:42

is how I know I grew

59:44

up in like a very sweet

59:46

area. I just don't know what

59:48

you're talking about, Johnny. Yeah, someone...just

59:50

playing any game of...like it would happen just playing

59:52

some game of Whiffle Ball with a bunch of

59:54

kids and then some guys just got a real

59:57

hard on for you and it's just... Yeah,

1:00:01

yeah, yeah, and then he gets in your face Maybe

1:00:04

pushes you yeah, and

1:00:06

then it's then it's like okay It's

1:00:09

on now circle forms just like the movies

1:00:13

Is your best friend there and he's a redhead and he's

1:00:15

like go for it Johnny Now

1:00:17

I could always take people talking but I never

1:00:19

like people to put their hands on me Yeah,

1:00:21

you know and then and

1:00:23

then and then we're fighting and did you win the fight?

1:00:27

Some but not all

1:00:29

no I wasn't that wasn't that great

1:00:31

of a fighter, but I didn't mind

1:00:33

it sometimes I liked it and

1:00:35

then Okay, yeah

1:00:38

next day so you fight

1:00:40

Jim We're gonna make up a

1:00:42

guy named Jim who in the football game talk

1:00:44

some shit then he pushed you That was too

1:00:46

far your redheaded best friend. It's like don't take

1:00:49

it Johnny. Then you punch Jim in the face

1:00:51

I'm assuming at some point teachers faculty

1:00:54

somebody comes and breaks it up. Yeah,

1:00:56

just like the movies Now it's the

1:00:58

next day and you're at school and you see Jim

1:01:01

Well quite often after you fight someone You

1:01:05

have a bond with them and yours You're

1:01:09

you're instantly cool cooler with

1:01:11

them. No, you're even

1:01:13

chummy trauma bond Yeah You

1:01:16

went through it. I mean if you watch boxing

1:01:18

like people they'll be at war before the fight

1:01:21

And if they have a great fight They've

1:01:23

earned the other person's respect and they're hugging

1:01:25

at the end same thing in a street

1:01:28

fight a lot of times Really? Yeah, cuz

1:01:30

I have to imagine that kid had his own

1:01:32

version of a mom that was like you gotta

1:01:35

Establish your strength some version of

1:01:38

that, but you're also little boys

1:01:40

to a certain extent So

1:01:42

you kind of don't want to we have to so

1:01:45

there must be a relief you did it we had

1:01:47

the fight yeah Yeah,

1:01:51

yeah, it's just it was

1:01:53

just like you did the scary thing

1:01:55

is what I'm saying. Yeah, it was just a

1:01:57

way way

1:02:00

of life back home really. It's

1:02:02

how people live. That's how, that's

1:02:04

what happened day to day. Wow. And

1:02:07

you know I remember, and I

1:02:11

remember when my

1:02:13

daughter was growing up, my oldest daughter, she'd

1:02:16

be like third or fourth grade.

1:02:19

And I'm like, so who's the best fighter

1:02:21

in your class? She's

1:02:23

like, what dad? And

1:02:25

like, like I always do the best fighter

1:02:27

in my class growing up. She's like, daddy,

1:02:30

no one fights. I'm

1:02:33

like, really? And each year

1:02:35

I'm like, anyone getting a fight

1:02:37

this year? No, dad. Give

1:02:40

me the stats. Yeah. Finally, when she

1:02:42

was in 11th grade, she ran home

1:02:44

and she was so excited. She's like,

1:02:46

yes, someone, two girls got in a

1:02:48

fight today. She couldn't wait.

1:02:50

She couldn't wait to tell me. And I gotta

1:02:54

say, I was thrilled. I

1:02:57

was thrilled on two points. I was thrilled that it was, that

1:03:00

she didn't grow up in that environment and it

1:03:02

was such a big deal that someone finally got

1:03:04

in a fight. You know, I was,

1:03:07

I'm so happy that my

1:03:11

kids don't, none

1:03:14

of them have ever been in a fight. You

1:03:16

know, I have two daughters and a son. It's

1:03:19

just not, it's not their world. No.

1:03:21

And I'm so happy. You did good. Well,

1:03:24

you broke the cycle, but you keep that

1:03:26

street fighting mentality, don't you?

1:03:28

It's still part of your code. I did get in a

1:03:31

lot of fights when we were filming

1:03:33

Jackass, like go promote in some other

1:03:35

country or somewhere. Oh, really? Yeah.

1:03:37

And again, I'm not a, like, I'm not

1:03:40

a very good fighter, but if, you

1:03:42

know, I have a question, real

1:03:44

talk. I'm not going to

1:03:46

do it, but let's say I started saying, fuck your mother

1:03:48

or something like that. And I wouldn't stop. Would you, would

1:03:50

you punch me in the face? Yeah,

1:03:53

I think. Yeah. I

1:03:56

would. I

1:04:00

would Katie here. I was trying to walk away,

1:04:02

but if you can't I mean yeah Yeah, well

1:04:04

I'd have to touch you maybe even if I

1:04:06

told you I was gonna do it I was

1:04:08

like Johnny everything I'm about to mother. I don't

1:04:10

be hard. Yeah, I know but I don't know

1:04:14

I know I know but I get that

1:04:16

I you know I get that twitch Yeah

1:04:21

I'm trying to overcome that no there's so

1:04:23

many more used than there are me I

1:04:26

feel like it's weird that you could say fuck my mother to

1:04:28

me, and I'd be like you don't know her That's

1:04:31

that's weird, but although I

1:04:34

think there's probably a threshold that I would

1:04:36

throw so because I think like I Feel

1:04:40

like I knew that you're trying to get

1:04:42

a rise out of me And you're trying

1:04:44

to elicit a certain response right so I

1:04:46

just want to satisfy you and give you

1:04:48

that response yeah That's right. You know you

1:04:50

know I felt like that's what you're going

1:04:52

for and give the but I think in

1:04:54

a person a normal person the street comes

1:04:56

up. I'm just gonna go boop whoop right

1:04:58

You know you don't know if it's some

1:05:00

sort of if you're being hoodwinked and yeah,

1:05:02

yeah, yeah, yeah filming. Oh, yeah plus fault

1:05:06

People want to sue you that's what I'm

1:05:08

saying you know it's good to let them

1:05:10

hit you first I look at you, and

1:05:12

yeah there you go good advice for real.

1:05:14

Yeah good advice kids always let them hit you

1:05:16

But I made you first don't be a candy

1:05:18

ass on the school. Yeah, I hit him back,

1:05:20

but let him hit you first Yeah,

1:05:22

then it's self-defense right do you

1:05:24

want to take shit from anybody that's that's

1:05:26

the general You

1:05:29

know I didn't the Buddha say that drink your

1:05:31

milk mine mom and don't take shit from anybody

1:05:33

I When

1:05:36

I watch you, and I know Eric

1:05:39

Eric Andre, and I started together, and I

1:05:41

still love him very dearly and Maybe

1:05:44

you get this all the time, but when I

1:05:46

see you and he trying to tase each other

1:05:48

and stuff I just sort

1:05:50

of feel bad. I just go like

1:05:52

those poor boys They just can't relax like

1:05:55

I think you're like that. Maybe you are like

1:05:57

this is fun life is real and yeah They're

1:06:00

relaxed. I'm just like it can't be fun

1:06:02

going to work and wondering if Eric Andre is gonna

1:06:04

light you on fire that day I

1:06:06

don't even know it's it's sheer

1:06:09

fun really yeah cuz Yeah,

1:06:13

I Yeah,

1:06:16

it's fun. I mean I I mean there's

1:06:18

a he got me this year on the

1:06:20

we got the prank panel Yeah

1:06:23

with a taser with the tase wand But

1:06:26

it hit me too long and I get so

1:06:29

much adrenaline you see like it hits me And

1:06:31

he goes when I hit you with it. You

1:06:34

didn't even react and Then he's

1:06:36

like oh no And

1:06:38

then we chased and wrestled because it never got

1:06:40

the stun one from him. There's a delay Yeah,

1:06:43

I don't know. I'm just like I'm up for it. You

1:06:46

know God help

1:06:48

me But I help me.

1:06:50

I think that kind of thing is fun Right

1:06:54

It's real. This is great.

1:06:56

You're being authentic You're not a guy who's

1:06:58

like I think people would watch if I

1:07:00

let people stun me you're like this is

1:07:03

fun No, I'm like let's go. Let's go

1:07:05

less fucking go do we we

1:07:07

must have different relationships to pain or

1:07:09

something Maybe like

1:07:11

people like oh your threshold for pain must

1:07:13

be so high. I'm like I don't think

1:07:15

so. What is it? I just think my

1:07:20

Give Damn

1:07:23

threshold is really low.

1:07:25

Yeah, you know, I don't Like

1:07:28

I know the pain is coming but I don't I

1:07:30

don't care Because I'm

1:07:32

trying to do something. I Don't

1:07:35

know what happened where we got wired differently.

1:07:37

I'm just so like Everybody

1:07:40

relax. In fact, one of the things I'm doing

1:07:42

is stand-up is I'm like, I'm doing the opposite

1:07:44

everybody to be happy Yeah, Lax and

1:07:46

you're like, no, let's poke the bear

1:07:48

literally sometimes. Yeah, take take the the

1:07:50

the sign to create chaos. Okay, sure.

1:07:53

Yes You make the

1:07:55

ACME rocket and you get on it and

1:07:57

it's five rockets inside and they all fire

1:08:00

stunt goes wrong and they misfire in all

1:08:02

different directions. I saw you

1:08:04

telling that story and one of the rockets just

1:08:06

whizzed by somebody's head and it would have decapitated

1:08:08

them. The two of the art guys.

1:08:11

And I'm watching one went out

1:08:13

like right next to my ribs. And

1:08:15

I'm watching going like that's a wrap.

1:08:18

You almost the

1:08:20

stunt almost killed two guys.

1:08:22

Yeah. And you. Yeah. Three guys almost

1:08:25

died. I'd just be like

1:08:27

well I'd be writing letters

1:08:30

to their family just like I am

1:08:32

a fool. Because it almost happened. You

1:08:34

just kept going. Well

1:08:36

that that day

1:08:39

like Jeff and I had a big train.

1:08:43

We had another rocket there and

1:08:45

I'm like let's go. Load it up.

1:08:48

We have more rockets. More rockets. Okay

1:08:50

so stupid people almost got decapitated. You're

1:08:52

like oh phew. Get the

1:08:54

next rocket. That's that was my

1:08:57

reaction. I wanted to keep

1:09:00

shooting. Keep going. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I

1:09:02

almost got a rocket through the kidney. I

1:09:05

know it. Keep going. It's. Yeah

1:09:08

I can't defend. I don't want it

1:09:10

to go. I want to understand. Is it

1:09:12

because your party's jacked? I was. I was just.

1:09:15

I wanted to get the shot. I wanted to

1:09:17

get the. I'm just thinking about. This

1:09:20

is what I when I woke up this

1:09:22

morning this is what I wanted to do

1:09:24

and I haven't done it yet. So let's

1:09:26

keep going. I need to finish. Yeah yeah

1:09:28

I need to finish. I'm trying to do something.

1:09:30

I need to come here to do what I

1:09:33

wanted to do. Because I have that thing where

1:09:35

I'm like. It's

1:09:37

a tilted picture frame. You just have to fix

1:09:39

it. I just have to do

1:09:42

it. Okay so let's say

1:09:44

it sounds like you didn't. Jeff Jeff

1:09:46

was like please like he

1:09:48

he convinced me with because

1:09:51

Scott and two

1:09:55

of our guys almost got decapitated. So I'm like

1:09:57

all right well we'll come back like he's like

1:09:59

just wait three weeks till we finish

1:10:02

the opening clothes and then we'll come back and do

1:10:04

it. I was just talking to

1:10:06

my girlfriend Emily about this this morning because

1:10:08

when we came back to do it and

1:10:14

this is one of the reasons we get you know

1:10:17

good footage. Jeff comes up

1:10:19

to me I'm putting on my outfit and

1:10:21

he's like please

1:10:24

please you almost bought it last time.

1:10:28

Just I know you you don't want to but

1:10:30

just wear some bubble wrap

1:10:32

around you when we

1:10:35

shoot today. I'm like I don't want to

1:10:37

wear any fucking bubble wrap around me when

1:10:39

we shoot today. He's just trying to help.

1:10:42

Eventually it it

1:10:45

it he wouldn't let go and

1:10:47

it was starting to it

1:10:50

was starting to upset the mood of

1:10:52

the set in my mood and

1:10:55

when it gets in those areas that's

1:10:58

the only time I'll walk away from a

1:11:00

stunt if anything that set feels negative right?

1:11:02

If there's a darkness on the set.

1:11:05

For superstitious regions or you're just like this

1:11:07

is you know you're gonna you're it's gonna

1:11:10

bring trouble yeah in

1:11:12

your world because you

1:11:14

have to go in like what we're doing

1:11:16

is dangerous and but

1:11:18

you have to want to be doing it and being

1:11:20

the right mindset if you go into it in a

1:11:23

dark mood or depressed or someone's someone

1:11:25

else is spreading

1:11:27

like darkness yeah on the set let's

1:11:31

punt to another day. Wow fascinating

1:11:33

yeah so we were I was about

1:11:35

to that point to like let's just

1:11:38

finally like give me the fucking bubble wrap yeah

1:11:40

and I put the bubble wrap on which

1:11:42

would have done nothing to a foot-long metal

1:11:44

rocket it would have made it more gentle

1:11:46

for the rocket the rocket would have been

1:11:48

like thank you but in Jeff's mind Knox

1:11:51

was gonna be good he's got that bubble wrap

1:11:53

on but I did the same kind of thing

1:11:55

when I was they put and two

1:11:58

big anacondas in a ball pit And

1:12:01

I called Jeff the night before and I'm

1:12:03

like I want to be the one in the ball

1:12:05

pit tomorrow, can I? He's like Yeah

1:12:10

He didn't know he was gonna volunteer for it, you

1:12:12

know He's like

1:12:14

those are type of things. Yes, they're like, okay,

1:12:16

you're doing it You're doing it, but

1:12:19

yeah, I'm more of a volunteer

1:12:22

and that's part of your strategy It seems

1:12:24

like can I can I make a weird?

1:12:26

What would you go ahead? Yeah, but But

1:12:29

I was like what I was worried about

1:12:31

the anaconda biting my wrist and hitting the

1:12:33

vein so I Got

1:12:36

a couple pieces of electrical tape went

1:12:39

around once written around twice like

1:12:42

a voila. I'm good I'm

1:12:44

good and in my

1:12:46

mind I Was

1:12:48

good and that made

1:12:50

me feel comfortable enough to get in there

1:12:52

now afterwards They told me that one of

1:12:54

the anacondas had ripped a guy's calf completely

1:12:57

off two weeks before So

1:12:59

he's got a taste for calf. Yeah, so

1:13:01

it's like the electrical tape not like the

1:13:03

bubble wrap Would have

1:13:05

done nothing but in our mind but in your

1:13:08

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1:13:10

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1:13:12

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1:13:23

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1:13:26

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1:13:28

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1:13:30

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1:13:32

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to Johnny. This is very interesting. I couldn't

1:16:32

be more interested. The vibe, and it's real.

1:16:34

And I think in this case, you're putting

1:16:36

electrical tape on your wrists, and

1:16:38

you believe, not just

1:16:41

pretend, but you actually believe that it's going

1:16:43

to help. Like,

1:16:45

my wrists are safe. They're safe. And

1:16:48

then when you get in, though, and I'm not

1:16:50

trying to overthink this. I was free. You're free,

1:16:52

and I bet your heart rate is slower. I

1:16:54

bet the animal is less afraid of you. You

1:16:56

know what I mean? And you're more confident. You're

1:16:59

moving differently. It's like if

1:17:01

I gave you a crystal, or let's say it was

1:17:03

your dad gave you a crystal before some crazy thing.

1:17:06

It was like, this is me. I put my energy

1:17:08

in this crystal. I

1:17:11

would punt to another day. Because

1:17:13

I'd have like... But the tape is the

1:17:15

crystal. The

1:17:17

tape is the magic thing that helped you get through

1:17:19

it. The whole crystal thing

1:17:22

is like... When

1:17:25

you get sick, you

1:17:29

have an affliction. A doctor

1:17:31

never prescribes a crystal. You

1:17:34

know? It never cured

1:17:36

my eczema. 50 CCs of quartz. But

1:17:41

again, whenever you get someone through

1:17:43

the day, totally fine. But

1:17:47

yeah, we worked with a bull rider,

1:17:49

Gary Lefeu. He was world champion in 1970. I

1:17:51

know Gary. I'm just kidding. Oh.

1:17:55

And he

1:17:57

was very animate about... when

1:18:00

we're working with bulls, if there's

1:18:02

anyone negative or dark, they're

1:18:04

off the set. Because

1:18:07

you're working with an animal that can kill you, we don't

1:18:10

need extra stress

1:18:13

on everyone. Good vibes only. Good

1:18:16

vibes only. Yeah. And we

1:18:18

stuck to that, not only with bulls, but... All

1:18:20

the time. All the time. I know exactly... Look,

1:18:22

it's just my way of relating, but stand-up is

1:18:24

very similar. Sometimes I don't want to look

1:18:27

at my notes before I go on stage because I'm trying

1:18:29

to stay in a place of like, I can do anything.

1:18:32

Of course, you happen to be free. I'm

1:18:34

free. So there's the rational look at your

1:18:36

notes, but then there's this other part of

1:18:38

me, the fucking cook, that goes like, I

1:18:40

can do anything and I will

1:18:42

do anything. You have to get there. You know

1:18:45

what I tell myself and I just think you'll

1:18:47

relate, I go, whatever I say is the show.

1:18:50

Whatever I say is the show. Yeah.

1:18:52

That's the liberation of... That's the difference

1:18:54

between a starting comedian and a headliner,

1:18:56

as the headliner realizes, whatever happens is

1:18:58

the show and you'll make it the

1:19:01

show. If you're doing badly, that's

1:19:03

the show. Come feast on

1:19:05

my carcass. And if you're

1:19:07

doing badly, your friends are so happy. Yeah.

1:19:09

The other comedians that are... That's the show.

1:19:12

I was talking to some comedians once and they're like, the

1:19:14

best is

1:19:16

like when your friend bombs. Yes.

1:19:19

They're just back there, loving it.

1:19:21

I... There's nothing better. I

1:19:24

wonder if you would do a challenge

1:19:27

where you would bomb. It's

1:19:30

pretty undeniably horrible. Dunts are

1:19:33

my version of bombing. Yeah.

1:19:35

You know? Like, you have to

1:19:37

learn... I'm not a comedian.

1:19:39

I don't know. I'll ask you. I was told

1:19:41

you have to learn to love to bomb, to

1:19:44

be able to kind of get over it. Yeah.

1:19:49

I don't have a lot of bomb theory. My

1:19:51

bomb theory is don't bomb. And I know that

1:19:53

sounds silly, but there are some guys that actually

1:19:56

would rather bomb in their integrity.

1:20:00

I'm like, I'll do whatever it takes. Well,

1:20:02

some people are adversarial to the crowd, and

1:20:05

it's kind of a fuck you to the crowd. Yeah, yeah,

1:20:07

yeah. But some people just go out there and bomb. Right.

1:20:11

And how do you feel about that? When you,

1:20:13

have you ever, you've bombed before? I've bombed, of

1:20:16

course, everybody bombed. And how do you feel, does

1:20:18

it? It's horrible. And

1:20:20

how long does it, because the woman

1:20:22

telling you to excuse me,

1:20:24

stayed with you for a few days. I know. How

1:20:27

does bombing stay with you? It will

1:20:29

stay with you sometimes for years. It can

1:20:31

linger. I, you

1:20:33

know, the most recent time, I

1:20:35

didn't bomb per se, but

1:20:38

I didn't connect at all. And then

1:20:40

I turned on them. Right. Like

1:20:42

I got mad at them. And then I would like, I'd

1:20:45

just be going to bed and I just caught myself,

1:20:47

I'm looping on it. Like, because it was like a

1:20:50

lowercase t, I don't mean big trauma, but

1:20:52

it was like a trauma, meaning your body's

1:20:55

fight, flight, freeze was inactive. And none of

1:20:57

those strategies work. And I

1:20:59

chose fight. I was like, fuck you

1:21:01

idiots. And then I'm like, what

1:21:03

am I doing? These poor people? You know what

1:21:05

I mean? I mean,

1:21:08

I bet some people in that

1:21:10

crowd appreciate it. Respect, respect. You

1:21:12

know, they, like, they saw something. Your

1:21:14

mom is there. You know? Don't take

1:21:17

shit. Yeah. Guys

1:21:19

fearless. Yeah. You know?

1:21:21

I really appreciate that because whatever you do, like

1:21:25

sometimes I'll be performing in a market that isn't

1:21:27

exactly hip. And I'll do like what I consider

1:21:29

to be kind of a hip joke, an interesting

1:21:31

joke. And I won't do that well, but I'm

1:21:34

like, there's seven people there that

1:21:36

are like, that just blew their dick off. Yeah.

1:21:38

That were like, I saw Gary Gohman, there's this

1:21:41

book, Misfit, get it now. I

1:21:43

saw Gary Gohman at the Comedy Connection in Boston. It's

1:21:45

Boston. You know, there's

1:21:48

a lot of comics going up, being like,

1:21:50

and you fucking have diarrhea all over your

1:21:52

fucking cruella. And you eat it in front

1:21:54

of your dog. Thanks, you guys are great.

1:21:56

And here comes Gary Gohman and he's like.

1:22:00

picks are tiny spears and I

1:22:02

was like, you

1:22:05

know, in a movie you do that push in with the

1:22:07

zoom out at the same time, like

1:22:10

this can be comedy. Yeah. Fucking,

1:22:13

there's a peat in the crowd. There's somebody

1:22:15

out there. And even if you're bombing

1:22:17

and telling them to eat shit, I just

1:22:20

love that point. Yeah. I also

1:22:22

love the good vibes thing. Let me ask you this,

1:22:24

ball pit anaconda, you're

1:22:27

gonna do that tomorrow. Yeah, shake that up. It's

1:22:29

matcha. It's called magic. Mine has got,

1:22:31

I love it. I already had mine. Shake

1:22:33

it real good though. Can you fuck on it? You

1:22:35

can fuck real good on it here. Oh, okay. I

1:22:37

shook that one for you. Oh, it's a free shake.

1:22:40

I pre shook that one. It's just a little

1:22:42

caffeine adaptogens that calm me down

1:22:44

a little bit. You'll like it. Okay, perfect. Just

1:22:46

drink it. Just shut up and drink. Okay,

1:22:49

tell your story. My story

1:22:51

is, what was it? What were we talking about? Gary

1:22:55

Gohman, that wasn't it. Oh, no, you. Anaconda

1:22:57

ball pit. How do you sleep that night?

1:22:59

The night before you're gonna get in a ball

1:23:01

pit with a calf eating anaconda. Sleep

1:23:04

fine? Yeah, I mean, we go

1:23:06

out to the bars. Back then on that movie, we were

1:23:08

like, the bars, so two or three in

1:23:10

the morning. And by the time you get

1:23:13

to bed, you're exhausted. You know, you just

1:23:15

go out. Is

1:23:17

that, I

1:23:19

gotta stop overthinking this, but I'm like, is

1:23:21

that like a strategy? Like don't

1:23:23

think about it. Let's get fucked up and just sleep.

1:23:25

Because if you did stay and have a cup of

1:23:27

chamomile, go to bed at 8.30, I have a feeling

1:23:29

you'd be like, a couple anacondas

1:23:32

that are also sleeping right now

1:23:34

that are pretty excited for me.

1:23:36

Yeah, no, it was just

1:23:40

fast, faster, and disaster in those days.

1:23:44

Fast, faster, and disaster. Wasn't

1:23:48

living a very examined life. If

1:23:52

I was living an examined life, maybe

1:23:54

I, you know, wouldn't have

1:23:56

been a half-assed stuntman. Right, right.

1:24:00

All right, slept like a baby

1:24:02

the night before. Slept like

1:24:04

a baby. Pythons. Yeah. Well,

1:24:07

I feel great. We can, we can,

1:24:09

I can look. Well, as long as you feel great.

1:24:11

I can. Kidding, I'm kidding. That

1:24:14

was very good. Yeah, it'll make you

1:24:16

feel really good too. You know why? Because

1:24:19

it's an upper and a downer. Adaptions just aren't a

1:24:21

downer, but they calm you. And then the caffeine's an

1:24:23

upper, so it puts you right in the middle. Oh,

1:24:26

I love it. So it's really nice. I love it. It's

1:24:28

not just coffee, that's like a coffee. It's a

1:24:30

liquid speedball. It's a liquid speedball. Oh, wow. Legally,

1:24:32

I can't say that. No, I'm just kidding. Why

1:24:34

is this your? It's a sponsor of the show,

1:24:36

but I loved it first. Oh, okay.

1:24:38

And then they sponsored the show. Okay, great. But

1:24:40

it is a liquid speedball. I can say that.

1:24:42

Yeah. I don't think they want that. God

1:24:45

damn, I'm glad you said that. Do you love Jack Nicholson? Because

1:24:47

even as I'm talking to you, I'm really, I'm thinking you're entering

1:24:49

into the Jack Nicholson time of your career.

1:24:51

You're gonna be curious to actor. That's a

1:24:53

huge compliment. Shawny Maxwell. I

1:24:56

mean, he's jumping off boats and smoking cigarettes in the water. We

1:24:59

need a new Nicholson. Yeah, he's

1:25:02

amazing. That was my father's

1:25:04

favorite actor, Nicholson. I think it had to

1:25:06

be our father's favorite actor. Yeah, yeah. I

1:25:09

mean, you can't beat

1:25:11

it. Yeah. You can't beat it.

1:25:13

One, Ku Ku's Nas, Five Easy Pete. I

1:25:15

mean, all his. He even departed where arguably

1:25:17

he's a little too big. Yeah. There's

1:25:20

moments where it might be considered too big. I'm like,

1:25:22

I'm here for all of this. God damn, I don't

1:25:24

have a note. I don't have a note on fire

1:25:26

and everything. I'm telling you, I see the same thing.

1:25:28

Oh, well. At least take that with you. The rest

1:25:31

of the day. I mean, hey. It would make me

1:25:33

happy if you were driving around and you're just kinda

1:25:35

like, you don't know why you're doing that little Twitch

1:25:37

smile that you do. And you go like, oh yeah.

1:25:39

Cause I, you know,

1:25:41

we're promoting the movie, but I'm also just

1:25:43

like, Jesus, that's real stuff. Wait, my Twitch

1:25:45

smile's a thing now? I want you to

1:25:48

do that little Twitch smile. I want you

1:25:50

to do famous Twitch smile that you kinda

1:25:52

did that like Jack. That you always do.

1:25:55

I can't do him. I'm

1:25:57

from the mean streets of South Boston.

1:26:00

departed. Me and my

1:26:02

brother hate, his accent is so Southern

1:26:04

California to us. Yeah. We're from

1:26:06

Boston. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when he does it, it's

1:26:08

like, what can I use you for? Every

1:26:10

once in a while he does it?

1:26:12

Yeah, because when

1:26:14

I hear people do Southern

1:26:17

accents in film, I cringe. I

1:26:19

can tell if that person's from

1:26:21

the South or that person's English,

1:26:24

you know? No. It's hilarious. You

1:26:27

can tell. Of course. Grade

1:26:30

my Southern accent. Ready? Me

1:26:32

and Johnny are gonna go get a book

1:26:34

of chicken. Well. Is it enough? No,

1:26:37

I just felt like once you

1:26:39

do it enough, you'll be able to relax into it.

1:26:42

Okay. It feels like you got your foot on the

1:26:44

gas a little hard. Okay. I'll

1:26:46

do more like this. No.

1:26:49

I'm hitting the gas. Now you're going into

1:26:51

force complaint. Well, mama,

1:26:54

mama, that's my touchdown. Mama,

1:26:56

chocolates, chocolates, bubba, bubba, bubba,

1:26:58

shrimp. I got it. Wow.

1:27:01

Now you're hitting it out

1:27:03

of the park. I

1:27:05

mean, holy shit. Harry Dean Stanton?

1:27:08

That's where I thought. That's

1:27:11

where my mind went. It was an F minus

1:27:13

and we all knew. No, come on. You're doing

1:27:15

great. I appreciate it. Any thoughts

1:27:17

on the meaning of life, then we'll get out of here. God?

1:27:21

I mean, for someone who's going

1:27:23

right up to the death door, you have to

1:27:25

be pretty certain that

1:27:28

one could say, look at this man's trust

1:27:30

in a higher power. You know what I

1:27:32

mean? Because you're not too afraid. You clearly

1:27:35

don't think like there's a tormentor God that's

1:27:37

waiting to kick us into hell. Yeah,

1:27:40

I don't know who exactly's waiting

1:27:43

on us. I was

1:27:45

raised Southern Baptist and whatever

1:27:49

gets someone through the days a okay, as long

1:27:51

as you're not hurting anyone or telling someone how

1:27:53

to think. Yeah. As long as you have a

1:27:56

personal relationship with someone. higher

1:28:00

power, knock yourself

1:28:02

out. And what is yours? I

1:28:06

just try to

1:28:15

believe in me and be there for my

1:28:18

family. That's what Sandler said.

1:28:20

His God is sort of like his family

1:28:22

and kindness, which is also what the Dalai

1:28:24

Lama said. Yeah. Kindness.

1:28:28

Didn't the Dalai Lama just suck some... He

1:28:31

asked the child to suck his tongue. Yeah, that

1:28:33

was the thing. He said,

1:28:35

suck my... Did you see that?

1:28:37

It was so bizarre. And everyone's just

1:28:39

like... It happened

1:28:41

and no one said anything else about it. I'm like, that's...

1:28:44

But that's... It's a tricky pickle. For

1:28:48

sure. Zach Galifianakis had the best

1:28:50

joke about it. He goes, what people don't know is

1:28:52

that boy's name was suck my thumb. Or

1:28:55

suck my tongue. I blew it. Because people

1:28:57

are getting so mad, they don't know the boy's

1:28:59

name was suck my tongue. Wow.

1:29:02

Yeah. That was a tight

1:29:04

spot because clearly a beautiful man and I

1:29:07

thought... I mean... Okay,

1:29:10

well, I mean... The Dalai Lama, guys. Is that

1:29:12

a hot take? I always thought he was. Is

1:29:14

that a hot take? I always thought he was

1:29:16

and then he had got some kids sucking his

1:29:18

tongue and I'm like, I don't know about

1:29:20

that guy now. I feel

1:29:22

conflicted about it as well. I feel

1:29:24

totally fine sitting here in judgment.

1:29:28

The Dalai Lama getting

1:29:30

his tongue sucked by a young boy. Asking a

1:29:32

young boy to suck his tongue. And didn't it

1:29:34

happen? It didn't happen, though. I

1:29:37

can't defend that. And what really

1:29:39

was hard for me was a lot of

1:29:41

my friends are Buddhists and Buddhist teachers and

1:29:43

watching them on social media, people

1:29:45

that I love very dearly. Well, just

1:29:47

because he did that doesn't... Trying to

1:29:49

explain it. You know, like, that

1:29:52

was his bad personal

1:29:54

choice. But

1:29:56

out of all the religion, Buddhism seems

1:29:59

to make the... sense to

1:30:01

me. Yeah, yeah. But you

1:30:04

know. What's a nice, that's a great

1:30:07

one. It's sort of a non-religion. There's

1:30:09

no God. It's very personal. It's about experiencing

1:30:11

yourself, your true self. Yeah. And

1:30:13

I would go into with that, with

1:30:16

you. I would be in that with you. Alright,

1:30:19

we're pissing through the same straw. How

1:30:30

fun you are. Please feel like

1:30:32

you made a great movie and know that you're

1:30:34

very fun. Oh, well thank you so much. I

1:30:36

appreciate it. Here's the last question, for real. We're

1:30:38

out of here. Can you tell me the time

1:30:40

you laughed the hardest in your life? Maybe

1:30:43

you were a kid. Maybe

1:30:45

it was something went wrong, I'm guessing.

1:30:48

Here are other prompts. Maybe someone fell. Maybe someone

1:30:50

farted. Maybe you were in church. Maybe you were

1:30:52

in school. You're not supposed to laugh. But

1:30:55

tears are streaming down your face. Maybe

1:30:58

you're a kid. Doesn't have to be

1:31:00

a great story. Just

1:31:03

a time in your life when you laughed

1:31:05

really, really, really, really, really hard. Well,

1:31:08

luckily I have... I

1:31:13

have a lot of those memories. But

1:31:16

I would say the hardest I ever laughed

1:31:20

was... God

1:31:22

damn it. Probably

1:31:39

one of my father's stories. I

1:31:42

know that's not funny. I've

1:31:44

been doing this

1:31:54

more and more lately. age.

1:32:01

Isn't that good? What are we gonna

1:32:03

get? Yeah, I just... yeah.

1:32:08

But those sometimes it's the retelling that makes you

1:32:10

realize... You know I spent too much time with

1:32:12

my mother. Wait,

1:32:16

that's what they would say? Johnny's been

1:32:18

too much time with his mother. She

1:32:21

was very emotional, you know, and so.

1:32:23

But how much would that mean to

1:32:26

your dad that that's what comes up for

1:32:28

you? Yeah, I

1:32:30

mean either it's something

1:32:32

he did intentionally or

1:32:35

something unintentionally, you know. He's just...

1:32:41

yeah, that's a whole other telling

1:32:46

stories on my father's like a whole other

1:32:50

show. Yeah. Wow.

1:32:54

It's been great. It's an honor just to be

1:32:56

able to see you remembering that.

1:32:58

Yeah. Honoring your dad like that.

1:33:00

Yeah. It's beautiful. Because we

1:33:02

do it on the show a lot, you

1:33:04

know. Your parents decided to have you be

1:33:06

like, no, he's like a hero. Yeah.

1:33:10

Yeah, he was. I mean flawed

1:33:12

hero, but he was my hero. Yeah.

1:33:16

I guess

1:33:18

most all heroes are flawed. Yeah.

1:33:20

Like the Dalai Lama. Oh my

1:33:22

god. What

1:33:24

do you say, yeah, suck on my tongue a little?

1:33:28

Is that so wrong?

1:33:30

How does that even... I mean

1:33:33

it's... Oh no!

1:33:35

Why did I bring it back up?

1:33:37

God damn! Look,

1:33:40

your dad had a few suck my tongue moments. No,

1:33:42

no! He didn't have

1:33:44

those. He didn't have

1:33:46

those. He did the own version. Yeah. Something

1:33:48

weird. Never asked a young boy to suck

1:33:50

his tongue. Oh

1:33:55

my god. People just let it fly

1:33:57

too. Everyone forgot about it. I

1:33:59

think they're The Backlash. Hey. I.

1:34:03

Remember. You.

1:34:05

On followed I'm. I'll

1:34:10

show him I muted and.

1:34:14

Is I still follow but I don't see the

1:34:17

buzz? Buzz

1:34:19

Beautiful man. When did he

1:34:21

pass? Ah in. Two.

1:34:23

Thousand. Eight T O Nine

1:34:26

And How Low We? Oh well. And

1:34:28

my mom. He didn't even make it

1:34:30

a year without my mom. She died

1:34:33

the year before. Ten months before. That's

1:34:35

like old testament of broken heart. Yeah,

1:34:37

think they just go as a pair.

1:34:40

Yeah, that's what happened. Well, how to

1:34:42

how. Ah, I'm. He

1:34:45

didn't strapped to a rocket? Didn't

1:34:48

know now. I'd

1:34:51

is just as the I was a

1:34:53

complications from pneumonia. okay. Ah,

1:34:55

I'm. And.

1:35:00

Yeah. I say. Them

1:35:02

have. A broken heart new

1:35:04

was like when you. Lose

1:35:09

the will to live in your

1:35:11

outlook in a. Bad

1:35:13

bad vibes. Really? Bad vibes. Really

1:35:15

bad vibes. Yeah to is broken and it was so

1:35:18

he was in love. Your mom, you and your mom

1:35:20

were like good. Of yeah but

1:35:22

I mean they had. Some rough

1:35:24

patches, but they stayed married for.

1:35:30

Sixty years over Sanders. Wow. Yeah,

1:35:32

yeah, so you're so there's a

1:35:34

sad and my mom deserved metal,

1:35:37

you know? Yeah, But.

1:35:40

Parents are about to celebrate their fifty at

1:35:42

them that such as sick as the joke

1:35:44

I go dead Mommy deserve a medal Dad

1:35:47

he deserves a bigger metal. I don't I

1:35:49

don't know. get the bigger metal. they're both

1:35:51

other minor. A it's A My mom deserves

1:35:53

a bigger medal for thou and ah but.

1:35:57

They. They they loved each other well

1:35:59

drove each. The crazy yeah.

1:36:02

But. They loved each other. That's just what

1:36:04

is his name I guess. Yeah, I'm glad you

1:36:06

have somebody. What you lit up when he talked

1:36:08

about your girlfriend. I say it's yes it, How

1:36:10

on. Again, That nine out

1:36:13

of gossip, Suppose he. Doesn't

1:36:15

going? don't know. was three years

1:36:17

so can I be too so

1:36:19

supreme in. And yes

1:36:21

l idea of I'm glad I'm it's it's

1:36:23

it's get better. Yeah. Yeah,

1:36:26

it's kinda started out create some

1:36:28

as excellent yeah. Lives.

1:36:30

Here you fo' You seem like you've seen

1:36:32

a of a. New. City of

1:36:34

I don't disbelieve them. I'd never seen

1:36:37

one in ghosts I i know I

1:36:39

normally me goes so goes know so

1:36:41

I could take you to that prison.

1:36:44

Where. They shot the longest yard which is supposed to

1:36:46

be one of the was hot one hundred place on

1:36:48

earth and I'll lock in a cell overnight. Leader: Ah,

1:36:52

I'm I just wouldn't wanna. I

1:36:54

am very big on comforts. right?

1:36:57

It's I don't like it. All about

1:36:59

the goods go sir the spirits. ah

1:37:01

I just what if I put a

1:37:03

nice tempur pedic in the so now

1:37:06

we're talking ever heater? yeah oh yeah

1:37:08

that yes had a T V. I

1:37:10

sure but like no part of you

1:37:12

know. This is a guy. Europe.

1:37:16

Have a baton on the on the bars.

1:37:18

The. I'm coming out to meet you. He. Whoever

1:37:20

is like I'm going to is a phrase

1:37:23

gotta fight the game going to me. Glad

1:37:25

whatever. Well it's not a goes whoever, whatever

1:37:27

you know yeah person is making that noise.

1:37:29

Would you have any connection to your parents

1:37:31

now that they're past? You have any sort

1:37:34

of how your memories just yeah. Which.

1:37:36

Of courses of absolutely an echo

1:37:38

of them yet. And their Dna?

1:37:41

Yes. And your kids? Yeah. Is

1:37:43

it crazy? What?

1:37:45

It How does it work? Like. That.

1:37:48

My wife. When.

1:37:50

It When it a baby is born a female is

1:37:53

born. the all the eggs are in the baby. So

1:37:55

my. Wife vows, eggs were

1:37:57

in. My mother in law isn't

1:37:59

there? This weird like the are so

1:38:01

connected that yeah it's so pushing forward.

1:38:03

So such as wishful thinking to be

1:38:06

legs and here you are You know

1:38:08

to means that is your desk. Like

1:38:10

in a very literal ways, this thing

1:38:12

keeps pushing itself forward. My dad did

1:38:14

tell me. Once.

1:38:17

The best part? You ran down your mama's

1:38:20

crack. Oh

1:38:22

My. God. And with the

1:38:24

worst part. Where. Where did

1:38:26

he mean is just. G I

1:38:28

F. And and then my

1:38:30

mom ago. The worst part is

1:38:33

you go oh honey, it's did

1:38:35

not. But be like don't defend

1:38:37

them, let him make a wild

1:38:39

statement and I'll laugh. But don't

1:38:41

like give credence to act like

1:38:43

like oh maybe it did And

1:38:45

that's why I don't run so

1:38:47

fast. Now I was more the

1:38:49

club foot. oh boy does it

1:38:51

not enough.is not enough. Ah. I

1:38:54

was more the club put his paw because

1:38:56

of us to some of it ran down

1:38:58

the good foot part ran out. What

1:39:03

it is. Hotter

1:39:08

than a to Packard out. There

1:39:11

are some causes it believes this is

1:39:14

gonna sound crazy, but it's true. That.

1:39:16

All the men in the village would have sex

1:39:18

with one because they believe that the semen congealed

1:39:21

and would take the best parts of they didn't

1:39:23

think was one sperm they were like. So the

1:39:25

strongest guy in the Sas, his guy in the

1:39:27

smart as guts and everybody would go up there

1:39:29

because they thought the sperm are gathered together and

1:39:31

that became the baby. You know any means.

1:39:34

Very. Awful.

1:39:37

Convenient balloons for those

1:39:39

men you know, like

1:39:41

oh, really, that's. All

1:39:44

I ever. Since

1:39:46

or yards of already as doctor

1:39:49

of yeah I and others Burma.

1:39:53

Supposed to.the. Doctor Forward Artists

1:39:55

yeah, what they're saying as

1:39:57

a medic right here at

1:39:59

the. Terrified when it

1:40:01

was awful balloon. Be

1:40:05

means believe for the holidays weren't

1:40:07

already on Oil man of that

1:40:09

really. Well,

1:40:12

I've enjoyed every moment. They.

1:40:14

Do there You have had flags I'm

1:40:16

becoming. Thank you Steve. Though he should

1:40:18

adjust in the air. Somebody.

1:40:22

A job as is jumped A job.

1:40:24

Here is the order: Save jump

1:40:26

jazz, pull the cord. You're.

1:40:29

Just job pull the cord. Yeah

1:40:31

now you just covered in jail

1:40:33

cell and say. Okay,

1:40:37

okay do you have. Full.

1:40:39

Do you have? Do we

1:40:41

have a minute? Nine seconds? Yeah.

1:40:44

Okay and I'm sorry to hear this. But

1:40:48

steady was your The The, The

1:40:50

denies Ralph the jump is. Reminded

1:40:53

me of another thing I was

1:40:56

very are we had that phantom

1:40:58

camera for jag s three it's

1:41:00

a smoke him yeah. And

1:41:02

suits over thousand frames per second.

1:41:04

And I was. I was like

1:41:07

Pontius said, take care of himself

1:41:09

on camera. And.

1:41:13

Were like all right So we everyone's like oh

1:41:15

hey, that's that's that's what we'll do next But

1:41:17

we did have a location for it. And.

1:41:21

So I call my wife like. And

1:41:24

with some suit something in the back yard

1:41:26

and she's like sued. What is it? Yeah.

1:41:29

She. Said yes by was our

1:41:31

nanny sparse day with us. So

1:41:34

anyway, where we get the whole

1:41:36

crew. It. Is

1:41:38

three days Phantom Camera Huge crew at

1:41:40

my house just issued this one thing

1:41:43

and and Yulia four seconds when she

1:41:45

was a pain. Camera is suits and

1:41:47

four seconds in in or intervals and

1:41:49

soul into their lives of a like.

1:41:52

Pontius. Give. Us

1:41:54

a heads up. Before. You do it. Gives.

1:41:57

saw a verbal oklahoma you

1:42:00

do it. I got

1:42:02

it, I got it. Kept telling him I got it, I got

1:42:04

it. And I go

1:42:06

inside for something and because

1:42:08

it took a long time. He was, it

1:42:11

took a long time and so. Like peeing at the ballpark. First

1:42:14

of all he goes, do you have any lube?

1:42:16

I'm like, ah, I got some moisturizer in my

1:42:18

car. And I didn't know it at the time

1:42:21

but they put horse semen in

1:42:23

my moisturizer and I've been using it for

1:42:25

weeks. So I hand, and

1:42:27

it was like a

1:42:29

marshmallowy texture. So

1:42:31

I hand him this, this

1:42:35

moisturizer, marshmallowy moisturizer and he was

1:42:37

using it to like, you know.

1:42:39

Yeah, jizz me jizz. And it

1:42:42

wasn't helping. Anyway

1:42:44

I go back inside and I'm talking to my wife

1:42:46

about something and I hear all this commotion outside.

1:42:49

Everyone's yelling at each other. Pawnee

1:42:52

says upset, camera guys are

1:42:54

upset. I'm like what happened? They

1:42:57

said he went, Oklahoma.

1:43:03

He's like

1:43:05

I did not, I did

1:43:07

not. And that's what was

1:43:09

going on when I went

1:43:11

back outside. Oklahoma first. Yeah, yeah.

1:43:14

Here's the order. I wasn't there, I don't

1:43:16

want to like, Pawnee is a hero, his

1:43:18

penis has been a hero to our franchise.

1:43:21

Yes, here's one of your southern

1:43:23

words, hero, hero hero.

1:43:25

Why is it a four syllable word?

1:43:29

I didn't forget Katie. I do

1:43:31

mine. I'm gonna read a review. We want people to

1:43:33

like and review the show on iTunes or Spotify. So

1:43:36

I'm gonna read this. What if I

1:43:38

have you read it? It has a big Hawaiian name in it.

1:43:40

Oh, it says Soul

1:43:42

Bomb. Five stars. I'm new to the pod, but

1:43:44

just finished the episode with Malik Elizal while

1:43:47

in the midst of a very broad and deep fight

1:43:49

with my dad. See, dad stuff man, it's

1:43:51

real. While also at work, this episode kept

1:43:54

me grounded, provided context and was a bomb

1:43:56

to the soul. Thank you. That's from Sam

1:43:58

BL. We're

1:44:00

trying to grow the show. It's so hard with so

1:44:02

many podcasts out there and we've been doing this for

1:44:04

over 10 years So it would mean a lot help

1:44:07