0:00

The replay need to be

0:02

published. Later

0:07

we managed. To

0:09

choose do you may have. Now

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made it weird when they meet whole.

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What's happening? Weirdos? What? Is

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happening this is a great one, yeah,

0:20

I'm glad you're here thank you so

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grateful you inject the time to join

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us thank you, thank you, thank you.

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I guess So plug a couple things Pete

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Katie role those beautiful prove pre

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get it. Do it right. I

5:07

mean rice. How Dario? Yes,

5:10

Yes! get intimate. Welcome

5:15

to we made it weird.

5:19

That is how I feel today. As

5:22

and. I lie, I feel

5:24

like foods spring is

5:27

brown, they'd. Deer. Oh

5:29

and killings a spray

5:31

need is. And spraying

5:33

my whole life. I've.

5:36

Struggled. To.

5:39

Engage with a sense of time, I

5:42

now an eye On the other hand,

5:46

It's.

5:52

Send. You know you love

5:54

food. Tell me you love

5:56

food without telling me you love.

5:58

Third, I on the other ham

6:01

wow detailed s already mean

6:03

john him. On

6:05

Islam, the other him and we

6:07

just his his brooding, a handsome

6:09

and mysterious. I would like that

6:12

hand holding a ham. Mean,

6:15

I don't either really them holding a cold cut

6:17

for me. I. Don't

6:19

want it cold. Or hot am

6:21

a er han hi i'm holding a hot

6:23

him. A Hot Him Holding a Hot Him

6:26

please and I'm out of there as Eastern.

6:28

Him because Johnny I'm is a

6:30

silly been. I wonder if he's

6:32

ever. I'm. Going to say it. To.

6:34

Surprise a lover. Laid. Out

6:37

nude with like candied pineapple slices

6:39

the full circle with cherries inside.

6:41

Oh my god I had and

6:44

like. A mere him. I'm

6:48

your. Valentine

6:50

him service very They were

6:53

aged. You. Are my Valentine him

6:55

valley One time what's happening? Are

6:57

you okay? I don't think so.

6:59

He don't think I'm not worried about

7:02

you. it's it's happens. Send them. In

7:05

the tip of the tongue that he looks out.

7:08

Pamphlets: Hamlet Pants we had

7:11

Pam Pam pants and does

7:13

six Six visceral sticks. Six

7:16

sick system sticks. I

7:18

love that you did. You know where I was going

7:20

with the scent of time you said you? on the

7:22

other hand, Ah yes I

7:25

know I me on the other

7:27

hand I'm very like into the

7:29

seasons. And I love that of a

7:31

it's A, it's a wonderful counterbalance. When we

7:33

were driving Lila to school, this is another

7:36

good. Like. Just call

7:38

it out when you're embarrassed. Momentum.

7:40

But I was. we were. It's

7:42

cold. It's been cold lately. So.

7:44

We're driving to school and I

7:46

think Lila asks either what month

7:48

it was or what season it

7:50

was and I said winter. Oh

7:53

yeah, you know, know, know?

7:55

What? I. Became even remember that.

7:58

These are all. I said. And

8:00

I remember I, i thought processes and or

8:03

his one process. Is that

8:05

you know? I look at the trees

8:07

in our yard and note and the

8:09

leaves are gone. So Mike it's all

8:11

know that the saw know. I know

8:13

it's a process itself. Snow it's when

8:15

pacific now. Still the. I. Believed you

8:17

if you're looking. When he had said it's winter

8:20

I was like wow Christmas again. I

8:23

was like that seems to fill. It is kind of

8:25

still the end of winter to as we haven't

8:27

had the equinox which is i think like the

8:29

nineteenth no. Bearing a gym and to this. Sub

8:33

ball and Cm is so powerful it

8:35

decides on it springs. The balls

8:37

the my I am I to

8:39

be like where the Equinox? oh

8:42

really yeah you bring my go

8:44

back to life a sprinkling ceremony

8:46

into it. Oh my goddess,

8:48

But ah, been fall is it! You

8:50

can see the trees. For fox our heads

8:52

and does I did love because I have had

8:55

been done in you don't I really hear the

8:57

like. Hell

8:59

as far as though friend arms

9:01

are falling and now he i'll

9:04

that it's it's or said l

9:06

they has they have also. Winter

9:08

sub saying is it is. Winter baby.

9:10

It's March, I know, but it hadn't

9:12

specifically turned to spring yet. The spring

9:15

happens at the end of March. The

9:17

second half ago, I was center right.

9:20

Wide. When you saw the other.

9:27

Minorities Yeah Last, there's things

9:29

I just can't understand. Okay

9:31

one is seasons stroke. time

9:33

does not good at it

9:36

yet To. Family

9:38

Like Like the structure of

9:40

family this is your cause

9:42

Them. With. The fuck are you

9:44

talking of Alec one? Who is this

9:46

guy? I can't hold a

9:48

smiley and hold it for a moment.

9:51

The. I'm. Flying away like

9:53

a bird. Ashley If it's like this

9:55

is your dad's cause, forget his

9:57

son, forget. It is. I'd my brain goes.

10:00

The her at doesn't mean the most ride

10:02

the. Least Boston thing.

10:04

About. You I know cause I feel a

10:06

lot about yeah. They're really into cousin. Say

10:08

I to my fuckin said cousin on my mother's

10:10

as I. Get

10:13

the fuck over here. I want me and

10:15

my uncle's. Navios. His

10:17

brother. Have a word with you.

10:20

Were going to have a sight to the

10:22

death on the Equinox Together make those who

10:24

are not. Equal wouldn't Equinox Equinox know

10:27

unlocks in Milan or walk some of

10:29

the yet a why do it Equinox?

10:31

he couldn't walk iowa his early equinox

10:33

and buses probably as there's probably like

10:35

and Equinox it seems so New York

10:37

to me. Oh. No, it's

10:39

definitely all over. Oh yeah

10:41

it's all are all over I had

10:44

it was and oh yeah usa i

10:46

froze of is on the pad before.

10:49

But a bit that illustrates my inability

10:51

to like hold. That. What

10:53

family is like as a tree grass

10:56

in my mind yes I have that

10:58

bit where I was like I don't

11:00

understand when people say like fuck your

11:02

mother like why that so offensive and

11:04

it really illustrates like. How

11:07

I'm just not attached to the this

11:09

isn't like cool groovy spiritual detachment. I

11:11

just like don't Mother is as close

11:13

as you're gonna get or father. But

11:16

if like a stranger says, och, your

11:18

mother, who cares yeah, it's You know

11:20

who cares. Ninety Nine Point Nine Nine

11:22

Nine Nine Nice. The cable guy. I'm

11:25

not going to say every yeah,

11:27

but it's a lot because someone

11:29

says someone who doesn't know someone's

11:31

mother says that that mother deserves

11:33

to be fox Yeah, And it's

11:35

like. I know if

11:37

really does seem like you don't know

11:40

her so it's nothing new. Guess they

11:42

suck the tree and near. Backyard.

11:45

Know everything but there is. I

11:47

think we're like the to defend

11:49

it. You. Know to. In

11:51

it's defense, There's. Something about

11:53

like. You

11:55

know, we had a sticker on his with

11:57

images. Know that there's like there's a. Oh

12:00

the. There's. Something kind inevitable about

12:02

a code at it and you know

12:04

when matter He. Seems is. You

12:07

know, it's like tribalism. Good as

12:09

an hour You: I'm you to be

12:12

like not even just you, but where

12:14

you come from. Yeah, like I salt

12:16

the earth like you and your fucker

12:18

Maddox. The yeah, you don't deserve to

12:21

exist as really more of an insult

12:23

to you. Yeah, and I obviously. And.

12:25

I think it is like my

12:27

might arrive is against. Your yeah? try

12:29

to a way of saying i bite my

12:32

so use or yeah exactly And and I

12:34

have. This is literally this is a real

12:36

time moment. This is me. Slowly.

12:38

understanding. Why? My

12:40

heady like that doesn't make any sense.

12:43

Brain right? doesn't make any. So it's.

12:45

Really saying The things that

12:47

are most tender and personal

12:49

to you. I am

12:51

them trying to insult. I could

12:53

even though and reduced more. It's

12:55

your worthless. You're worthless and your

12:57

people are worthless. Yeah, I hope

12:59

you die. I was soon. Never

13:02

born. yeah and that is very

13:04

insulting And Baron boss decisions that

13:06

it is very Boston. It's also

13:08

easier to get upset. Which. Is

13:10

a part of it's appeal. Fuck Your Mother. The

13:12

part of the appeal of fuck Your Mother. Is

13:15

this is a thorough thorough Thanks People do

13:17

things for people they love. They'll do more

13:19

for people they love them for themselves. Yeah.

13:22

That's certainly true with you and Lila. I.

13:24

Will do more for you than odds than I

13:26

do for myself. So when you're saying like. You'll.

13:29

Get angry on behalf of your mother.

13:31

That's what makes it so. Inciting Rape.

13:33

Seal of it as an insult. Is

13:36

that it's so upsetting, right? So you're just

13:38

trying to hurt them? Yes, but I'm going.

13:40

but it doesn't make any sense. but it

13:42

doesn't matter. It's like why does read make

13:44

me like more likely to fight like the

13:46

color red make me hungry ray or liked

13:49

all that source of yeah see what? I

13:51

did a show and I'm so grateful that

13:53

I got to do a show for mehta.

13:56

And it was a lego of V or so am I allowed

13:59

to talk about it? Moon and.

14:01

Co question. Fact: I

14:03

don't know from what I don't think I signed in

14:06

India. I'm going to text Dave. Well, we're talking. Erm

14:09

said. I really want to talk

14:12

about it. Can. Use talk about

14:14

the sit well I guess is so

14:16

detail. My allowed to talk about the Met a show

14:18

on my podcast Question Mark or is it like a

14:20

secret thing? He.

14:24

Should up. It's always nice when

14:26

your manager has notification silent Skyn

14:28

it's I'm gonna hit notify in

14:30

Iraq and the idea is. Your

14:33

on the barrel Egypt that sweet sweet

14:35

notify Anyway, I. Think people are

14:38

loose with that. I don't know

14:40

why I think that I just get the sense

14:42

that people are deal in it, they're just notify

14:44

in any way. Oh really cared. I don't

14:46

get a lotta notify any was. And

14:49

I'm proud of that. Because I

14:51

got I got don't notify anyway

14:53

face which I just gave you.

14:56

I was really feeling overwhelmed, really

14:58

overwhelmed and buddy look. I

15:00

want to share this with everybody. This

15:02

is something. And very,

15:04

very excited about that. I feel like

15:07

it's taken me forty five years to

15:09

figure out which is. You.

15:12

Have two modes. One is delicate

15:14

and one a sustainable delicate. His

15:16

creativity. That's where we are right

15:18

now. You and I are being

15:20

in our creative space. Creativity.

15:22

Is also being a dad. Playing games,

15:25

a lila making breakfast, making a fund

15:27

to get dressed, going school, singing songs

15:29

that sir stuff. Creativity is also just

15:31

kind of reading in the morning. I

15:34

know that not quite creativity, but doing

15:36

my morning routine it's feeding me for

15:38

asking is like. Receptive is yeah,

15:40

it's receptor exactly yeah Adam and

15:42

is reading his creative and that

15:45

you're going like how do I

15:47

engage with as like how am

15:49

I involved Yeah all of that

15:52

is category A reading. Parenting playing.

15:54

Being. Silly and Then Creating which

15:57

includes podcasting which includes writing which

15:59

includes. What is writing for me? It's.

16:02

Like kind of staring into space and occasionally writing

16:04

something down. I don't do a lot of staring

16:06

into space, it's more like I'm writing and while

16:08

I'm writing, more ideas are coming from where I'm

16:11

not writing at all and I'm in fact is

16:13

escaping writings. I think words and then I've.

16:15

Had that is the exact opposite That

16:17

is very funny I think he out

16:20

as no no no as far as

16:22

a to our last episode see I

16:24

like a good reading that didn't bother

16:26

me at all because I was understood

16:28

this yeah okay here we go. The.

16:31

Second mode and I know is kind of. Talked.

16:34

About this or stuff. But I feel

16:36

like I have more clarity than ever.

16:38

The second mode is responding so one

16:40

is. Of. Where.

16:42

Would he caught giving or creating and one

16:45

is responding? Yeah I would

16:47

say one is receiving and one is

16:49

responding relieving well. Although you not really

16:51

receiving you're when you're playing and stuff

16:53

you're giving. Let's let's

16:55

go on and renowned know what I'm

16:58

either creating or I'm responding and if

17:00

I in those the first. So the

17:02

first like four hours of my day.

17:05

Ideally. The for six hours in

17:08

my day or created dropped we

17:10

laugh, come home. Two. Hours

17:12

of creative time, Writing.

17:15

In in this case this week it's writing

17:17

a script. And

17:19

then what happened this morning was

17:21

and fuck our phones. man if

17:24

our phones were a Swiss Army

17:26

knife. There's. A blow torch on

17:28

there. There's like. You. Know

17:30

dramamine. There's

17:32

like a calm. There's.

17:35

A A Living Dog. What I'm

17:37

saying is. What's this drama? What? I

17:39

mean. I know it around. Is it what

17:41

I'm saying? is it does everything. Yes,

17:44

it is isn't everything machine and it

17:46

doesn't know what you want from

17:48

it. It didn't know his hair.

17:50

it doesn't care what you want him. it's so I

17:52

know everybody knows the experience You pick up your phone.

17:54

Does he want to get you? Want to go Amazon

17:56

Nord a waterproof matches He was the old with your

17:59

phone and there's a. Now

18:01

you're replying to text near our somebody says

18:03

i am someone Tex you Even worse, I

18:05

emailed you the code can you forward it

18:07

to me and now you go in your

18:10

email. And. I see another email. I.

18:12

Everybody knows as I don't even have explained as know

18:14

your plane a that email and forgot the code you

18:17

not taxing it back and he didn't gone amazon to

18:19

get the what of rematches. Now you don't have waterproof

18:21

matches as the post apocalypse you fuck to called the

18:23

of fact the. A. Popular, always ordering stuff

18:26

sister thought the. Lip I do

18:28

go through like once a year. Twice

18:30

a year I go like do we

18:32

have stuff to stay warm if everything

18:34

goes cyclists. And

18:37

we live. In set the himself a fucking yes

18:39

but it but it does get called. It's

18:41

we'll see who's laughing. You know what? You're

18:43

just got disinvited to Little Circle. You

18:47

can't have that circle without me.

18:49

Worse, it's today's full

18:51

when fully K G,

18:53

just fully getting Jfk.

18:57

Such. As

18:59

a of cocaine at Jfk Junior

19:01

small just fully killing. Anyone

19:04

as a result. So this morning all

19:06

that happen and what I'm the revelation

19:09

is just how delicate these states are.

19:12

I wear my email. I forget why.

19:15

I. Think it was one of these things. I I

19:17

had email share and does were having some work

19:19

done. We had ask a thing and had to

19:21

guess I'd have consented. checked his gun, Then.

19:25

I see an email from of someone I'm working with

19:27

and it was just the most reasonable. Sort of like

19:29

housing. When you do that. what are you? Do this

19:31

as well? And then I

19:33

fucking spin out like all the

19:36

my creativity. He has like of

19:38

his aber it's right brain, left brain and

19:40

so it it sounds like. I appreciate

19:42

something coming, Sake, I really appreciate that

19:44

insight because my creativity said making eye

19:46

contact with a deer. I've said before,

19:49

it's very fragile sir. still scripts another

19:51

way to think of it is like

19:53

a vapor and I'm kind of like

19:55

in a source ring. Into.

19:57

Little. Ball like Siri. Neary

20:00

knocking It looks like that. And

20:02

when I look at one email,

20:04

yeah, it gets sucked into a

20:07

hurricane and then. Valerie, you

20:09

gave me a look and you

20:11

know I really appreciate your phantom

20:13

thread sensitivity. To me, I suspect

20:15

a quite breakfast female like that.

20:17

A sort of like I simply.

20:19

Cannot have any confrontations to the. Cannot

20:21

have any confrontation. Sas simply cannot assess

20:24

assess you. I appreciate your delicate miss

20:26

but like it's valid because will or

20:28

what I mean as circuit I work

20:30

on it. Could I like go through

20:32

some sort of boot camp? I don't

20:34

know. Certainly, I'm not like resigning to

20:36

ads, but I'm saying this is how

20:38

I seem to work. And forty five

20:40

I think this is what's happening. Yeah,

20:42

so. You. In

20:44

your delicate miss. Senior. Phantoms

20:47

had breakfast seem wanted to say something

20:49

gentle about planning and you know I

20:51

don't wanna i to I can't simply

20:53

cannot plan the morning and I apparently

20:56

gave you a looks as he he

20:58

added sad the. Receive I can do and

21:00

I know this is a radio. Show or whatever

21:02

it spits. People

21:05

tune in and on the wouldn't

21:07

or couldn't tombstone shape radios. He

21:10

was like. The

21:12

idea. Of

21:14

you couldn't see that which is. I'm.

21:17

Going as our hundred present we're going

21:19

to see we're out of the population

21:22

see I'm like a variable like I

21:24

don't get factored into the data for

21:26

daddy aligned as we just cross me

21:28

off and is be like skies his

21:31

billions of people couldn't see that I'm

21:33

just going to eliminate that one see

21:35

as he just kind of like face

21:38

or word essay for at eyebrows raised

21:40

eyebrows raised an upper upper upper rove

21:42

teeth kind of biting gently the lower

21:44

left going like. What the fuck

21:47

What He saw. This. And I and

21:49

and also in the eyes cause I thought about

21:51

this as an actor as I kept could I

21:53

make that face on demand that. But. It

21:55

was also like eyebrows up and

21:57

eyes weary. The at both. Yeah,

22:00

It totally was. An iron I'd a been

22:02

a while so the such scruffy and like. And

22:05

I hadn't looked at you and it's

22:07

so funny to talk about as big

22:09

as it literally up and fifteen minutes

22:11

ago. but I I wasn't looking at

22:13

you, I was feeding Brody and I

22:15

was like okay like a talking as

22:17

I was feeding Brody you are behind

22:19

me and I was like okay to

22:21

earn one thing just something to think

22:23

about you don't after answer now but

22:25

and then I will lie like turned

22:28

and saw that phase and I went

22:30

oh no no you never I'm like

22:32

oh you're phases telling me this is

22:34

not a good time right? I'm sorry

22:36

Daves, Exit me back. See.

22:38

This is the fucking world

22:41

you will see Onerous Live

22:43

unpacking my horse ship. And

22:47

how this year I. Go

22:49

Well, I don't. Hear my own voice. And

22:53

I checked. The

22:55

message to see if I could talk about

22:57

of and. Guy, he buys Hybrid. I'm not

22:59

to you. My. Would would I I

23:02

would have been. Best novell not pissed.

23:04

I would have made fun of you

23:06

without how I'm pissed I got a

23:08

gun that lights is so complicated story

23:10

way the face. The. Face and and yeah, and

23:13

so then I knew that it wasn't a good, which

23:15

I loved that. Weren't such perfect love

23:17

for me? Was. I felt

23:19

safe to make a face. That.

23:21

says. And what I

23:23

was act on feeling in real time like I can't

23:25

right now and when you said that I was like

23:28

I loved it and then. Snows. Very

23:30

excited! Share this with everybody! I

23:33

came in here and I was like type

23:35

I just kept thinking about that email and

23:38

it goes back to my fundamental when they're

23:40

saying like a when you do this can

23:42

you do this other thing at the same

23:44

time and I wanted some my wound you

23:46

don't understand me with your similar i'm trying

23:49

to do such as an email. It's

23:51

know like a. And. I'm sharing

23:53

this not I'm still. I'm saying this

23:55

is a like I believe all human

23:57

beings. Are this sensitive?

24:00

In. Some way and I'm hopefully uncovering

24:02

mine. Will all. go be a little

24:04

more gentle with ourselves and be a

24:06

little bit more. Finely.

24:08

Tuned in for and productive and and have

24:10

more strategies to live a more pleasant day.

24:13

So I hope this is related to I

24:15

was like. I came in

24:17

here and I'm like this had

24:19

doesn't understand me. that saying the

24:21

same thing we talked about last

24:23

episode or the i'm not understood

24:25

as he doesn't get me, I'm

24:27

vanishing, I'm dead. Yeah,

24:29

I'm gone. And then yes,

24:32

sorry. What was a lot? No. Go ahead

24:34

no go ahead keep. The owner knows he was

24:36

just a pretty like some one of the people

24:38

you were texting with didn't understand him. Was.

24:40

That I'd somebody that I've been emailing

24:42

them. Okay, that, but they. they were

24:44

like. At. It this is

24:46

not shots fired at a reasonable asked. were shooting

24:49

this thing and we have this idea for the

24:51

next thing we're going to shoot. So as says

24:53

about me as get is not and I hate

24:55

when you do in a van and sketches. why

24:58

don't you do those robin sketches at the same

25:00

time? The sewer okay yes and then I go

25:02

into this whole. Very. Emotionally

25:05

Joost. But. The

25:07

robin sketches or a completely different

25:09

set up that's not your world

25:11

so you don't know camera position.

25:13

I'm also trying something. This is

25:15

all my hips spinning out. I'm

25:17

trying not in anger but to

25:19

sort of like how can overwhelm

25:22

and this is very you'll relate

25:24

to this. I. Was

25:26

back here. And I calmed

25:28

down greatly because what I'm really

25:30

looking for. People. Please. The.

25:33

Wanna. Be a sweet boy. Good book

25:35

Like Good boy. Yeah, that's vulnerable, but

25:38

like I when we're both Cf, How

25:40

can I reply to this email with

25:42

the word Yes Blue? And. But I

25:44

don't know. I don't even have as good. But.

25:46

That's what I was. I didn't calm down until

25:49

I found this reply. I haven't written that. Yes,

25:51

Yes, I consider that too,

25:54

but I'm being very ambitious with

25:56

our day now. Yeah, think I'm like

25:58

a woman that I'm thinking. I could

26:00

allow me as his eyes. I

26:03

can't. It's. Too

26:05

emotionally costly for me

26:07

to say. I.

26:10

Like. Even I hear you may

26:12

have all these other versions and

26:14

I wanted to be like that's

26:16

what. the one version, the bump

26:18

that's not going to work the

26:20

day is already overbooks, ran over

26:22

plan Yes. and really the hurt

26:24

in that is like I'm already

26:26

over delivering. Don't you? trust me?

26:28

Yeah, learn, know. That. I wanna

26:30

like that. By the way, this is. All.

26:32

Just like a little fantasy blaze,

26:35

somebody asked me a question yes

26:37

and I target. Not

26:39

on the surface. Deep. Down. But

26:41

deep down there's a little man.

26:44

With. All the major controls. yeah

26:46

like like inside out. there's my

26:48

brain. and then there's a little

26:50

small guys doing the most impactful.

26:52

think. he's hitting the flood the

26:54

face with heat, He's hitting the

26:56

swarm, the wasps in the belly.

26:58

He's hitting the Titan, the joss.

27:00

it's doing all of it and

27:02

it. So when I go in

27:04

as such as navel gazing it's

27:06

like I need to really unearth.

27:08

What's. Going on here and he talked to him

27:11

as he taught me. Emotional

27:13

Family System style. Know what do you

27:15

think? Internal families as himself? What do

27:17

you think is going on here and

27:19

he's like this person is killing us

27:22

if I'm lucky. I grow Yeah

27:24

city. Here's the good

27:26

news, dear friends: remember how he says

27:28

My guess is that was now I

27:31

feel do they can not even? Well

27:33

yeah, fifteen minutes ago because we've been

27:35

recording about Welp twenty minutes. So about

27:37

thirty minutes ago I was feeling. Bad.

27:43

I was feeling. You.

27:45

Know all the. Control. Towers

27:48

were armed, cans were blazing,

27:51

I. Was ready to be mad. So

27:53

my favorite lines and Jesse James is

27:55

he goes for you upset niggers as

27:58

getting ready to be mad. Yeah, Love

28:00

that I heard that to a Brad

28:02

Pitt. So good. So I was getting

28:04

ready to be mad you are taking

28:06

a you at you said I need

28:08

about twenty thirty minutes to. And

28:10

we them before we do this.

28:12

I knew that didn't matter, the cannons

28:15

were out, yeah then it it ain't

28:17

And the a want to dance partner

28:19

glass right now vow. Doesn't.

28:22

Understand doesn't see no. By the

28:24

way, this is all. To.

28:26

Explain it takes seven thousand times longer

28:29

than it took to feel. I know

28:31

he's at his little amber flaring off

28:33

the fire where I'm like. That.

28:36

Was so what'd I do? and this

28:38

is this is I think. Just.

28:42

The sort of thing that I wish

28:44

my way. I can feel emotional about

28:46

it. When I was a kid, And

28:48

I was anxious all the time. And

28:51

now I'm a grown up. was anxious some of the time.

28:54

I. Just wish I knew. Brass.

28:59

Mostly breath and also what we've

29:01

been talking about lately. And

29:03

which we talk about all the time. I was

29:05

having some difficult emotions this week. And.

29:08

I know we talk about this all

29:11

the time, but fuck it every day

29:13

there's a fresh batch of things to

29:15

employ. these strategies on. Like

29:18

allowing it. To my

29:20

new getting with dropping any

29:22

reference to the past. Even

29:26

any reference your identity or

29:28

your body Just be. The.

29:30

Knowing presence. That. You

29:33

are. Yeah, And look

29:35

at the ceiling. And. You

29:37

see, it's like us is kind of

29:39

ribbon. Of prickly.

29:42

which are cry usually suppressor right side of

29:44

my stomach or to cross my throat He

29:47

and. Noticing the quality of that. Noticing

29:49

the quality of its and really?

29:51

and this is so fucking nuts.

29:53

Rupert Spiral was explaining this. In

29:57

his book you are happiness you seek. It's a

29:59

wonderful book. He talks

30:01

about I'm. With.

30:03

You explore the nature of the

30:05

sensation that you are saying is

30:07

bad. Like it's It's like a

30:09

cold icy sort. whatever. You can

30:11

actually get so close and so.

30:15

Our. Impartially curious about it

30:17

yeah, that you notice

30:19

it's pleasant quality in

30:22

raises because you really

30:24

go so. Depersonalize.

30:27

And move that you know to said

30:29

it's just the same thing is everything

30:31

that it's energy. Yep and its ab

30:34

senate sensei Santas his chest sensation and

30:36

as you. Even.

30:38

So let's say the sensation was because I

30:40

drop my toseland facedown. That's how it was.

30:43

But let's say without. Adorable

30:45

example of thank you very much fun

30:47

in South America. I believe that means

30:49

the devil is near a so I'm

30:51

I'm that's true. But anyway, elite area.

30:53

It's like a side of bad luck

30:55

and they say it means the devil

30:57

is near. Ah, very similar to like

30:59

are your ears burning up like us

31:01

They might be Mexican like is. I

31:03

think it's South American, but I'm. If

31:06

you drop. The. Idea of pete

31:08

and breakfast and toes and just naked

31:10

in the garden look at the sensation

31:12

in as the witnessing presence you can

31:15

you can start feeling it's like run

31:17

sucks about how when a siren like

31:19

a fire truck goes by and he

31:21

goes if you know how to channel

31:23

energy and this one of the things

31:25

it's fun about round us as he

31:28

gets can like. Weird

31:30

and fun. Like magical. he'll be like

31:32

you can get a rush out of

31:34

that. You can let it in and

31:36

allow it instead of careers and hating

31:38

it. Anderson the Zero damage. but if

31:40

it's far away at Up, you can

31:42

let it course through you and get

31:44

a head off of that. Same with

31:46

a negative feeling. I'm going to put

31:49

this all back to well. I'm talking

31:51

a lot. But. I'm very excited! I.

31:54

Did the you put your hands up like

31:56

a robbery and then you pull them down

31:58

to shoulders as assessed as if. Like pulling

32:00

down energy we've already covered as and you breathe

32:02

out. you know, like. I

32:06

did like. I dunno. Six.

32:08

Rounds of that. It's a like I'd been

32:11

doing it in our yeah, I've been doing

32:13

it about five minutes or I just rounds

32:15

of thirty, rounds of forty rounds of fifty

32:17

and when you're done on the last, once

32:19

you breathe out all the way. And then

32:21

I got this from Huber. The.

32:24

Internet's neuroscientists. A

32:27

long so. In the

32:29

mouth and then out pursed lips. He

32:34

goes that sends a signal. To.

32:37

Your nervous system nerve to your

32:39

brain. To. Calm down, I

32:41

did that about. Thirty

32:43

times felt like nine hours. It was

32:45

about three minutes. So we're looking about.

32:48

Under ten minutes of breath work.

32:51

And then. Yes, Thank you

32:53

to the ceiling! All.

32:56

Of the knocks on the door going

32:58

for valve doesn't understand or whatever the

33:00

at the email guy doesn't understand just.

33:02

Okay, Right now just

33:04

this may now just as I

33:07

see on not even ignore I

33:09

thought la la la la last

33:11

like I see you. Yeah here's

33:13

I'm going to Gorge. That's the

33:15

word that kept coming back. I'm

33:17

gonna gorge or feast on air.

33:19

I'm going to give my body

33:21

something Know what it wanted. Things

33:23

that once resolution as I actually

33:25

darling. You. Want this?

33:28

Yeah, And. And

33:30

like. It legally changed everything

33:33

and I know we say this a

33:35

lot on this podcast, but the brain

33:37

wanted to go like, let me think

33:39

this way out, I'm going to draft

33:41

the email perfectly. I'm going to find

33:43

a way to say the word yes,

33:46

That has its value. But. What

33:48

really did it was. Was

33:51

grass annie and allowing

33:53

breath and allow him.

33:56

Jack has the body, knows how to

33:58

process it and. Then do it

34:01

through brats. Everything is in the

34:03

breath. That's why meditation is just

34:05

focus on your breath. That's why

34:07

you know people who aren't like

34:10

woo have a really experienced tilt

34:12

total transformations would like breast work

34:14

and why that's the thing that

34:16

they tell you to do when

34:19

you're in labor like years. So

34:21

much so everything is in the

34:23

breath. So. What? You did

34:26

unlike the physiological level as you'd

34:28

use switched gears from being in

34:30

your sympathetic nervous system to your

34:33

parasympathetic nervous system. And and then

34:35

this is why I'm always like.

34:38

The lesson that I'm always I'm really

34:41

learning and relearning is like. The

34:44

only the name of the game is

34:46

to just regulate. Your

34:48

nervous system and then literally everything

34:50

else will fall into place. You'll

34:52

know exactly what to do. You'll

34:54

do it on a time, That were

34:57

made are you? You're better Quality decision.

34:59

When you're doing things, when you're

35:01

doing anything, when while you're distributed

35:04

your it's like doing it with

35:06

a blindfold on her. Not gonna.

35:09

Be able to make any kind

35:11

of good. The As. A Turbo.

35:13

He's going. Zebra

35:15

he takes you through. I learned

35:17

that thing from him and I

35:19

learned nothing from your room. But

35:21

it's like we're we're getting. We're

35:23

stepping outside of our survival, mine,

35:26

my life regulate. The are sympathetic,

35:28

nervous exactly where to put it

35:30

another way. And I goes. This

35:32

is who you are without fear.

35:34

Yeah, and you go like. It's.

35:37

A Really. Amazing.

35:39

Little alarm system Not little intricate

35:41

alarm system that our bodies have

35:43

to save us and protect us

35:46

from certain situations and I'm really

35:48

grateful to at yeah, but. And.

35:51

And you know I make this point on stage. And

35:54

we talk about I'm so. It's.

35:56

Now miss firing. And

35:59

it got an email and thought we

36:01

were in. A mortal

36:03

danger? Well yes that of thing.

36:05

Let's fix the thing that sending

36:07

that signal in that of email.

36:09

Let's fix the thing that sending

36:11

the signal jan and be kind

36:14

to as of course when I

36:16

say six I mean let's accommodate

36:18

it right? Let's wrap it in

36:20

a blanket and let's remind it.

36:23

Like. A parent. Who's. In

36:26

charge. Because the thing is,

36:28

is it your brain will still

36:30

think that the email is actually

36:32

the most urgent thing, But now

36:34

that you're disarray, Gilly did that

36:37

is on top. So that's the

36:39

thing that has to be addressed

36:41

before anything else can be address.

36:43

And absolutely, arts and bar fear.

36:47

Systems were made leland I were

36:49

just watching the coolest show on

36:51

Disney. It's called Queens and it's

36:53

like a. Add

36:56

you know kind of that

36:58

nature show about like the

37:00

female on the females of

37:02

the Animal Kingdom and I

37:04

in it really is like

37:06

god, it's tough out there.

37:08

It's like so. You I'd so

37:10

of story. Of out which.

37:13

Is why it is. About the oh yeah

37:15

totally I will but it it's

37:17

a yeah it's just like sad

37:19

word the we and we come

37:21

from living where where like always

37:23

looking at. How

37:25

to get food And there's predators in the

37:28

bushes and they want our for a select.

37:30

Even when you're eating, it's like that's when

37:32

you have to be like and highest alert

37:34

because there's another predator that's gonna try to

37:36

get that Neil that you just have like

37:38

And that's how we still live As. Such

37:41

so we're not. So why jingle all the way.

37:43

You. Know enemy? Yeah, that's where

37:45

I think the movies in

37:48

worldwide this up. That's why

37:50

there's Black Friday. Panic. Yes,

37:52

these are manipulations. Yeah, so

37:54

much is a manipulation. Of

37:57

this little system here and

37:59

there. they're teaching you fear

38:01

and depravity. e. Os. And

38:04

are is it's encoded in our

38:06

system so we just it's easy

38:08

for me. To. Access

38:10

Compassion for it when I remember

38:13

that because I go, You think

38:15

we're in the jungle and you're

38:17

just trying to keep me alive?

38:20

Thank you for trying to keep

38:22

me alive, but were actually completely

38:24

safe and and breathing it out.

38:27

That would I was never ever lane that

38:29

to me doesn't work as yeah. Let me

38:31

tell you this little detail about that email.

38:34

I could have replied that he

38:36

mill in. Three. Weeks.

38:39

right? That's the thing. Like is not

38:42

energy nameplate. European or so to

38:44

use like another. Way.

38:46

To look at it so we are.

38:48

You are in a sympathetic nervous system

38:50

but also your pain body is activated

38:52

and your pain body just once more

38:54

and more and more and not fly

38:56

is looking at the clock to be

38:59

like, well she said thirty minutes and

39:01

now it's been thirty five minutes and

39:03

she doesn't care like it's looking for

39:05

things to resonate with that negative emotion

39:07

and that's why you need a total

39:09

gear shift. It's like we have to

39:11

flood this out with breath or we

39:13

have to go for a walk away

39:15

at like, whatever. It is to

39:17

completely shift gears on Yemeni

39:20

lit up everything in my

39:22

brain because you're talking about

39:24

exactly. What the podcast

39:26

listeners know is one hundred

39:28

percent my jam which is

39:30

going back a little bit

39:32

is like stealing the ceiling

39:34

and it not feeling negative

39:36

once you actually like. The

39:38

hardest part is going into

39:40

that Pokey ribbons at the

39:42

other. Poetical grub hub. Hooky Gold

39:45

Ribbon which by the way little

39:47

side note. Neil Allen's books. His

39:49

first book. so the I think it's

39:51

his first book. I don't know his

39:53

yeah to books ago. The Shapes of

39:55

Truth isn't that so interesting that that's

39:58

what you were already naturally doing. Yeah

40:00

which. Is. Like see

40:02

is discovered that when a while

40:05

or or he's passing along this

40:07

tradition of when people go into

40:09

their feeling they often have descriptions

40:11

like that and then what's really

40:13

cool is there Like. There.

40:15

Are through lines like it's like between.

40:17

People. Yeah, you're like, oh yeah,

40:19

it's pokey when it's this specific

40:21

feeling. Or it's in of us. Anyway,

40:24

died overwhelmed anyone with thing. You don't

40:26

really have to try to visualize it.

40:28

I think when you do the brass.

40:30

Your. And kind of look for the feeling

40:33

it is happens if that's the way. Yeah

40:35

Russ honestly will all you all

40:37

you really asked to deal is

40:39

a lead to soften around. It

40:41

isn't node it, notice that you

40:44

are resisting the ceiling and just

40:46

open to it. Even in a

40:48

crack and minute in then it

40:50

starts to become less and less

40:52

scary. It's that first opening a

40:54

crap it you know that first

40:56

crack open. that is the scariest

40:58

and the closer you get to

41:00

the feeling the more it does

41:02

to speak on the sensation. And.

41:05

It and it. And it does feel

41:08

pleasant because you're realizing in that moment.

41:10

Whoa. There's actually nothing to be afraid

41:12

of. And you know different feelings. Especially

41:15

like if you're dealing with tramon stuff

41:17

he you wanna do that sort of

41:19

supervise You don't want to do that

41:22

alone to set certain feelings. We will

41:24

feel like they're like. Overwhelming.

41:27

And then there's other tricks, were tied

41:29

trading, and you're thinking about the parts

41:32

of your body that tightrope type treating

41:34

as like oscillating like you're like okay

41:36

and deep in the feeling. And now

41:38

I'm gonna. Not. Solve this

41:40

on the ceiling and I'm in a focus

41:42

on my breath or the feeling of my

41:45

seat and gonna may be get up on

41:47

in, you know, stretch a little or walk

41:49

around and then I'll go back to it

41:51

so that that's when you're dealing with like

41:53

really really big. Savings. But

41:56

yes, Because. I

41:58

just want to interject that one of the resist. The

42:00

answer to this that I've encountered is

42:02

a superstition and we realized that were

42:04

very superstitious. If I say yes to

42:06

this discomfort or this thing that I

42:08

don't want, am I welcoming in. All.

42:11

Kinds of catastrophe wire and that's where my here

42:13

brain goes. I so the thing that I wasn't

42:16

an email and it wasn't toast on the ground.

42:18

it was a big thing. Him like

42:20

a legit anyone would be like oh

42:22

I'm so sorry but that's happening Yeah

42:24

and I was working with that and

42:27

as I'm going I'm going Yes, Thank

42:29

you. Even had this campaign has a

42:31

lesson. this is growth. This is. this

42:33

is a season. It's okay, yeah and

42:36

then it's going like you really wanna.

42:39

You wanna leave that door unlocked me hour

42:41

and a month? I. Had

42:43

to say I was like that's not

42:45

how this works right and you think

42:47

it is. Absolutely my version of

42:49

that that c or voice they it's

42:51

like what is the bodyguard at the

42:53

door saying and my bodyguard to saying

42:55

something similar. But it's like you won't

42:58

be able to pull yourself out of

43:00

there So it is like this the

43:02

same thing. It's like the door will

43:04

get open your go into the ceiling

43:07

and then you won't be able to

43:09

come out of it race And that

43:11

has never been true. It's only ever

43:13

been true. When I was running from

43:16

the feeling that. I was. So why

43:18

is it doing this little. You.

43:20

Know ball and cup game. To.

43:23

Keep you in a state that is

43:25

unpleasant. Yeah, because good at brain

43:27

doesn't trust the body and the body does

43:30

know how to process these feelings and release

43:32

them. But the brain. For most of us,

43:34

we've cut our bodies off and the brain

43:36

goes new. know you felt the things that

43:39

were bad when you were a kid. So

43:41

I told you you're not allowed to be

43:43

in charge anymore and now I'm completely in

43:45

charge. And the brain is a dog that

43:48

is barking up the door that doesn't realize

43:50

that it's not helping the system. By the

43:52

way, Dan Soder everybody watched him sitters new You

43:54

Tube special. He has a great bet. I won't

43:56

ruin it, but he's like he's talking about how

43:58

much he loves this dog. A like

44:00

how funny is it that used to

44:03

be one of our predators and we

44:05

have made wolves afraid of the doorbell.

44:08

Like that his legs I I'm sorry

44:10

that Mark Twain like that seems like

44:13

something. yeah that like a landlord yeah

44:15

me as would say he called on

44:17

the road Dan Soder it's incredible. That

44:19

said, that land looking for a laugh.

44:22

That so that. And.

44:24

Done, you do! So

44:27

yet as of ceiling and deficiencies

44:29

and in. I. Really wanted to do a bit.

44:31

I'm doing. I know not. You know that I. And

44:34

my brain isn't ready for at least many

44:36

hundreds accidents I kissed. Swift's. Higher

44:38

your phone's. A He yes you

44:40

are my phone. one hundred resets

44:42

on but yes I am. I'm really

44:44

proud of you for for shifting

44:46

gears because that's the thing to

44:48

as we actually have more agency than

44:51

we think we do in it

44:53

just takes like pausing and being because

44:55

I know that exact state the

44:57

again I am I getting it to.

45:00

We both are pretty easily overwhelmed

45:02

by left brain stuff like when

45:04

were dealing with ask what would just

45:06

sticks and yes, like we got

45:08

an email about. Our taxes. Yesterday I

45:10

had dreams about it. I was like I

45:12

don't because I read the email and I

45:15

was like i don't understand a single word

45:17

of that are. You on that email? Yeah, the

45:19

know you're on that email. I. Don't understand

45:21

a single word of it and

45:23

it's like. Ah, it's

45:25

so stressful. Specific Oh cut to me getting

45:27

a business email Being like we can either give

45:29

you this or we can give you five percent

45:31

of this over three and I'm like. I

45:35

like pizza. It's

45:38

a wonder I could be ready of that. I

45:40

know. Don't get me started on that. You don't

45:42

have to know everything to occasionally. You.

45:45

Can be good at what you're doing even

45:47

if every once in while you don't know

45:49

it's happening and uses. maintain a smile and

45:51

go. I'm going to say this. As

45:54

a society, Now that's what I'm trying to

45:56

learn from you. It's like just pick. Once

45:58

somebody said that about directing and. Bad.

46:00

Ghastly listen, but you can't remember where

46:02

they really? yeah they were like you.

46:04

Honestly you know that there's gonna be

46:06

mistakes and you know that you can

46:08

fix things and posts are you just

46:10

kind of make a decision? Know it's

46:13

to has to be a decisive person.

46:15

That I think decisiveness I think of

46:17

for everyone got that reference year that

46:19

you're the king of the day or

46:21

the queen of the. I.

46:25

Think directing his confidence.

46:28

Uncertainty? Yeah, Yeah,

46:30

that's a really. Great way to put it. would

46:32

so is. Almost. Every. Yeah,

46:35

confident uncertainty will get you through a lot.

46:38

Okay so Irons and the fire? I

46:40

wanna talk about my appointments. Okay,

46:42

I'll write it down. will go to the mids. And

46:44

then I guess is the one I can tell that

46:46

lion a story. I just couldn't tell it and remember

46:49

mice. Know what point are that would

46:51

year appointments. What? Else do

46:53

I have? I. Wanted Zoc about

46:55

Wheelers Drop often than that strategy we

46:57

haven't really talked about other really worked

46:59

in the ass when then. oh I

47:01

thought it said husband Huber months we

47:03

are to cover. that's so when we

47:05

come back well as a very interesting

47:07

story she had an appointment with a

47:09

very freaky Bk. This is not really

47:11

ugly day let you know. Very interesting

47:14

yeah and and will be right back

47:16

of you. Like the show, it means

47:18

a lot. Try a Peters Peck. Katie.

47:21

Of course this episode is brought to

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us by our friends. I say of

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Mood elevating, I find be the perfect state

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50:16

Not so. I.

50:18

Had it's called and

50:21

any t appointments and

50:23

narrow emotional technique. But

50:26

ah, It also used

50:28

other things that I I guess maybe

50:30

are part of any t but I've

50:33

had it before where it's like a

50:35

muscle test will you hold these vials

50:37

of things and there's but there's this

50:39

to have that frequency that like kind

50:41

of i i'm in a but sure

50:44

this to see you know I'm guessing

50:46

at what it is. ah I'm. A.

50:48

Vials Yeah live on I'll auditing

50:50

Scientology machine. but like something that

50:53

has a mineral or something and

50:55

it's. It's it's it might

50:57

be. It might also just be

50:59

like somehow it's holding the frequency

51:01

of this idea. It's very like

51:03

Joe to spend that. so it's

51:05

holding the frequency of and it

51:07

can be literally anything from like

51:09

shame. To. Like rise. Up

51:13

some shame to rise above. No

51:15

one's picking up a new file.

51:17

Can be shame they can be

51:20

team. was. Maybe

51:22

it's guilds? Baby. It's Lemon

51:24

Zest hits hits, Like that.

51:27

But please don't like a sub.

51:29

Don't judge anything. This on my

51:31

description of this ah you said,

51:34

listen to somebody who actually knows

51:36

what they're talking about Because in,

51:38

really like I did, hold one

51:40

for different types of food because

51:43

it's just a way of communicating

51:45

with your body about what it's

51:47

holding, ah, emotionally, emotionally. And it's

51:49

like physically what's going on if

51:52

you're having food intolerances if there's

51:54

any sort of viruses, are parasites.

51:56

Happening and and But then there's

51:58

also the most. No combat component

52:00

to tip the ending, just a little

52:02

bit to keep people engaged in case

52:04

a sound so weird. It. Was

52:07

right on the money when. It was a one hundred percent right

52:09

on the many yeah, We're doing these things with someone,

52:11

almost like a psychic greeting, but they're giving you

52:13

vials, the whole, and they're. listening to

52:15

my own body's response. To as

52:17

the you're holding your arm out. The at

52:19

hold and items and I've done this

52:21

before. Also, I want to say that

52:23

the guy who did this. Is.

52:26

The. Doctor who did this was the

52:29

opposite of the Coop. Like not

52:31

a cookie freaky de gea person

52:33

at all. Like a very intelligent

52:35

person who is who did explain

52:37

to me what. Is

52:39

actually happening. It's just it was a

52:41

lot of information so I didn't totally

52:43

absorbed in. I tend to be like

52:46

whatever. okay to stick on the success

52:48

of. So you hold your amount straight

52:50

and he's pushing on your arm to

52:52

see if there's resistance and then the

52:55

second theres in I can feel it

52:57

like it's like a week and name.

52:59

When he changes, the thing you're holding. Yeah.

53:02

And he any also just specifically

53:05

asks you about intestines. like like

53:07

there was one. When

53:10

we did the like diet stuff it

53:12

was like okay caffeine and it's like

53:14

it's strong so that means I can

53:16

have some caffeine and he's like I.

53:18

Do it during. A on the two

53:21

days two to four days, five

53:23

to six days. We in like

53:25

waited until it was it was

53:27

like weeks Said guedes. What! How

53:29

many days a week I can

53:31

have caffeine. Center so it I wonder

53:33

if that would work reverse because there's the

53:35

fatigue of holding your armor under slang skeptic.

53:37

Absolutely agree. Go. Every single day.

53:40

Oh everything single day that case I give

53:42

the question is the thing that weakens that.

53:44

You could do it in reverse order. I'd

53:46

love to ask him. I. Yeah and it's

53:48

a different type of we a weakening I

53:50

would get. Is not fatigue. Isn't that and

53:52

know it's not city? because it's instead and then

53:54

it goes back. It's like wow look like and

53:57

my arm was getting tired so I thought the

53:59

same thing. Like is there a degree of

54:01

less or my are like. A

54:04

but and I'm sure he has really great

54:06

answers for that. but it's happening so fast

54:08

he's like reading at like of. Your

54:10

arm as of or out there long enough for you

54:12

to be like. He's like and you'll give

54:14

me a million dollars and it went down and. He has

54:17

no and in fact another reason why

54:19

completely trusted him was. First

54:21

say did this biofeedback machine where I

54:23

put my hand on this medal thing

54:25

and then from that it just like.

54:28

Pulled. Up all this analysis about

54:30

my body, most and all of

54:32

that I had actually. A.

54:34

Just seen and integrate of doctor. I got

54:36

these blood tests in these poop tests and

54:38

all these things and it was consistent with

54:41

that. He was like you have heavy metals

54:43

you have are you know like as a

54:45

guy actually. On your of ever say him and

54:47

he didn't try to. so you're millions of. That's

54:49

what I was getting to a significant it's that

54:51

I thought the Subway hundred. I'm still. In

54:54

fact, one most of the time I'm interrupting

54:57

it just sounded like you were drunk. Because

54:59

I was taking a breath. This

55:01

is my version of someone who's done. That's

55:03

it. They're. Done guy.

55:06

That so in that biofeedback

55:08

machine was like you're gonna

55:10

eat like bees are Thus

55:13

five. Medication. Supplements

55:15

tinctures things that it recommended for me and

55:17

he's like but don't worry, we'll test that

55:19

at the end with the body with the

55:22

muscle test. So then he did and I

55:24

only ended up needing one but he very

55:26

easily to the said like yeah you need

55:28

all of these things yeah buddy like actually

55:31

you we're doing really good. You only need

55:33

like this one thing you're on a league

55:35

wasn't very expensive and I was like okay

55:37

so I I kind of trust you anyway.

55:39

Also I trusted him because everything he said

55:42

was right on the money and the main.

55:44

Thing. I wanted to share about

55:46

this is that. First

55:49

of all, I love the idea that we're

55:51

just talking to the body about what it's

55:53

holding and there's if many different ways that

55:55

we can do this. This is. Just one

55:57

of the ways we can do this. But. We

56:00

forget. That this body

56:02

is not. It's not a

56:05

meat puppet. It is this

56:07

living yes organism ago that

56:09

has its own intelligence. And.

56:12

Is working for us. It's trying

56:14

to keep us here in it's

56:16

loving so it's our ally and

56:18

the things that it's holding it's

56:21

holding as if to like save

56:23

it for us for when were

56:25

ready and able to process it.

56:27

It's like it's a beautiful I

56:29

just as like another thing that

56:31

made me feel that. Loving.

56:34

Connection to my body, Is very tied

56:36

to a remote earlier. That's what I'm saying. And

56:38

then the other thing that I want to say about

56:41

it is very tied to what we were talking about,

56:43

which is. It did feel

56:45

like progress. And. I can't

56:47

always do it, but I've gotten a lot

56:49

better where these last six years, basically of

56:51

doing some attic therapy. Where.

56:55

I was he. He used the

56:57

muscle test to see what my

56:59

body was holding and specifically and

57:01

then where it was holding and

57:03

everything it was holding was in

57:05

the stomach which is like exactly

57:07

right. Like I know, that's right

57:09

Mice I have all these and

57:11

nick issues because of this emotional

57:14

component and. And. So then he

57:16

would have me hold a vile up to

57:18

my stomach, hold my hand to my head.

57:21

And. Just like he's like just think about this

57:23

he would It would be a word of an

57:25

emotion, this wasn't one of mine. But all all

57:27

the use this as an example is feel like

57:29

it's. A I'd I feel like

57:31

it's all to person to say the

57:33

actual words right now but like this

57:35

wasn't one of mine but if it

57:37

was like shame and he's like okay

57:39

now just focus on and then he

57:42

would ask the body like what age

57:44

and give the like the you know

57:46

zero to three three to six were

57:48

and like wait until it got week

57:50

and then. So. Is like

57:52

think about, you know shame when you

57:54

were thirteen. Years. Old or whatever. And

57:56

just now sit in hold the Sears some

57:58

a can hold this year. The and

58:00

my milos sorted. Get the frequency

58:02

of that in your body and

58:04

I would. And I wasn't like

58:07

telling stories of like get myself

58:09

all worked up or whatever. I

58:11

actually didn't even really cry that

58:13

I could feel. These. Huge

58:16

waves of emotion and I've had

58:18

this and therapy to wear it

58:20

Just like my body. It literally

58:22

feel like my body is like

58:24

throwing these things out of trump's

58:27

like scarves and like doesn't hunt,

58:29

like getting it all out and

58:31

like in his like oh my

58:33

god thank god I'm so done

58:35

with holding this so is like

58:37

these huge waves of of sensation

58:40

because I wasn't feeling. I.

58:43

Wasn't afraid of the feeling. I knew what

58:45

this is where I was like, hey, there's

58:48

a little progress there. I wasn't afraid of

58:50

the feelings and I wasn't standing in their

58:52

way. I knew this was good and it

58:54

was like. Ready to

58:56

release. And I think that's that's the

58:59

real. Turn. His.

59:02

We often think that we're having a feel oh my

59:04

god we're having a feeling we're gonna let. Me

59:07

so uncomfortable and we're just giving get

59:09

stuck here and it's this big solid

59:11

thing that does gonna stay and it's

59:13

actually coming up because it wants to

59:16

come out in. the thing to do

59:18

is. Add said it so

59:20

many times on the podcast. Bet is to

59:22

soften and not get in the body's way.

59:24

This is a good thing your body is

59:26

ready to let this go otherwise you wouldn't

59:28

be feeling it. but you do have to

59:30

feel it. Took. To. Release said

59:32

and but you don't if but

59:34

you get to feel it without

59:36

the story so than it really

59:39

is feels good. It's like a

59:41

sensation. So I was having these

59:43

huge waves and it was while

59:45

than I was breathing and I

59:47

just was noticing what my body.

59:49

I was like observing my body's.

59:51

Breathing. I wasn't giving any sort

59:53

of notes of how to breathe and

59:55

it was different based on which a

59:57

motion I was really saying is and

59:59

like. So one of them

1:00:01

was just like a long legs.

1:00:05

In it was just doing it and

1:00:08

releasing and feeling so good. Another one

1:00:10

of them. I'd. Be

1:00:12

instantly just went into dislikes

1:00:14

fast through the nose like

1:00:16

I was like states. Was.

1:00:19

In it was like whoa and but my

1:00:21

body just like knew what thread. Through the

1:00:23

keys to your body for it's a. Hundred percent

1:00:25

and it new a specifically what breath

1:00:28

and then the breath like transformed as

1:00:30

the feeling was slowing down and it's

1:00:32

so the closest thing to compare it

1:00:35

to was like labor like where my

1:00:37

body would sort I'm doing this very

1:00:39

powerful saying and my job was to

1:00:42

just tried to say out of its

1:00:44

way. For physical movements. Like

1:00:47

when I was. In labor

1:00:49

yardwork. This. Like

1:00:53

as an yeah and I am in

1:00:55

than. It was also like labor because

1:00:57

there's this feeling like. You'll

1:00:59

always get to a point with contractions where

1:01:01

it's at. I remember a dual a said

1:01:04

it instead of saying out of respect you

1:01:06

pick clearly was going like ah. Like

1:01:09

can you tried to say wow? What

1:01:11

says it's like. Remember you doing that? Yes,

1:01:14

And it really was of what oh wow,

1:01:16

you're just like. It's. The most

1:01:18

powerful thing and it's happening to your

1:01:20

body and your like. Last couple of

1:01:23

oh my gosh, how in the he

1:01:25

her and that's what that felt like.

1:01:27

it was like. Truly

1:01:30

I was having these emotions that were

1:01:32

coming up and they weren't even unpleasant

1:01:34

but I was like that is so

1:01:37

big i can't believe that was a

1:01:39

my body like law at it would

1:01:41

just felt like so gag and what

1:01:43

was beautiful is he was like spraying

1:01:46

I did think I'd I'd like.out of

1:01:48

it just a little bit to make

1:01:50

this joke but like he was like

1:01:53

spraying all these things to sort of

1:01:55

like clear my energetic field and. And

1:01:58

he was doing like breaky stuff. Her clear

1:02:00

it which was also a reason

1:02:02

why I definitely felt safe enough

1:02:04

to let this out because I

1:02:07

could feel him being in there

1:02:09

with me you know and that

1:02:11

he sprayed this one thing and

1:02:13

it was clearly had like rosemary

1:02:15

extract and so I'm like. Said.

1:02:21

I like in my head imagine going like is

1:02:23

that rhythmic. Erm,

1:02:27

that. yeah, so it was very

1:02:29

powerful and then after that any

1:02:31

t a it. He'd also did

1:02:33

some chiropractic stuff and then he

1:02:35

had me and it was like

1:02:37

two hours of working or energetically

1:02:39

and all the stuff and and

1:02:41

then he had me walk down

1:02:43

the hall. To. Like I

1:02:45

don't know like a reset and I

1:02:47

before he said it I would like

1:02:49

whoa My body feels so light like

1:02:51

I felt like I was in a

1:02:53

different body and then he was like

1:02:55

you may notice you body feels a

1:02:57

little later and I was like yes

1:02:59

and like. I was exploding. It

1:03:01

was so cool and I'll it Now

1:03:03

it's two days ago and I'll say

1:03:06

like. A Sealed completely.

1:03:08

What is economy? As if anyone's

1:03:10

interested in trying any t any

1:03:12

to right Man Yeah Sumitomo were

1:03:14

there is no exercise. Yeah that

1:03:16

the sun's again and again. What

1:03:18

is it? Same for. Narrow.

1:03:20

emotional. Technique or trouble finding

1:03:23

New Exeter Me. As another

1:03:25

great reset that I wanted

1:03:27

to share his i'm. A

1:03:30

out where it was unintentional, but

1:03:32

especially through like in that left

1:03:34

brain, right brain. same. First.

1:03:36

Of all exercising. And

1:03:39

yet I always forget. It

1:03:42

like opens my heart gain. I think

1:03:44

it does that for a lot of

1:03:46

people because it. Gets

1:03:48

you in your body on

1:03:50

so it I. Danced.

1:03:52

And of course that's like good vibes

1:03:55

in a lot of different ways. And

1:03:57

then. You had dropped me

1:03:59

off so. When walking home from the

1:04:01

gym which is a pretty long walk

1:04:03

and it was raining. Or

1:04:05

so good in the story. Have a hey who's

1:04:07

enjoy your walk home. I think you actually did

1:04:09

bring up no extra time wouldn't be for to

1:04:11

succeeding we to walk yeah because you said that

1:04:13

will interrupt your works and I said no I

1:04:15

do know extra time I'll pits you some of

1:04:17

the ideas of thing about want to pick you

1:04:20

up cause your idea work for thirty minutes and

1:04:22

pick me up with you knew would be very

1:04:24

disruptive and. It ends up being such

1:04:26

a gift because this was like a

1:04:28

total reset and I I think it

1:04:30

there's the novelty of it like wow

1:04:32

I'm walking in the rain but I

1:04:34

was listening to a podcast and I

1:04:37

was like now this isn't right So

1:04:39

I put on the i think it

1:04:41

was the Florist I put on like

1:04:43

beautiful music and and I remember Josh

1:04:45

Radnor has a thing in one of

1:04:48

his movies or maybe he said it

1:04:50

and something else where he figured out

1:04:52

like lists listening to classical music. When

1:04:54

he is walking around New York

1:04:56

said he is like a winning

1:04:58

combo like everything feels intentional and

1:05:00

like just perfect and beautiful and

1:05:03

of course that's I'm like I'm

1:05:05

walking a home in Oh hi

1:05:07

in the rain. And. Listening

1:05:09

to beautiful music and I

1:05:11

was just like they're I

1:05:13

am. That's a hundred percent

1:05:16

my purist, most inspired, most

1:05:18

romantic original like childhood seventeen

1:05:20

year old at like just

1:05:22

Like absolutely in love with

1:05:24

everything version of myself So

1:05:27

that seems like a good

1:05:29

reset to as like go

1:05:31

for a walk in nature

1:05:33

and will look at and

1:05:36

listen to like. Stunning. The

1:05:38

insects, yeah, my relationship to

1:05:40

music is really been transformed

1:05:42

since my toe phase says.

1:05:45

What Everyone caught. In

1:05:47

that, like, I still have the National, I'm

1:05:49

just listening to a lot less Phoebe Rogers

1:05:51

and the National, and and radio head or

1:05:54

whatever that may. There's nothing wrong with any

1:05:56

of those music, and a lot of them

1:05:58

can pump you up. That like.

1:06:01

I don't know. It it. It's the

1:06:03

same thing you're saying is I'm I. Can I

1:06:06

listen to something and are under way to

1:06:08

school? Can I get Lila listening to something? That's

1:06:10

a little bit like yes and even as a

1:06:13

comedian, I I hear them playing loud music before

1:06:15

I'm not going on stage and sometimes I'm like.

1:06:18

Oh know about this and now been like this

1:06:20

is what is is like get him to like

1:06:22

have a better. State. Oh

1:06:24

yeah that's maybe it's been the missing

1:06:26

piece. well now that hasn't because you

1:06:29

you would listen to it than like

1:06:31

music to get you into to calm

1:06:33

you down. Yeah that your discovering that

1:06:36

you can also listen to music to

1:06:38

inspire you to pump you up to

1:06:40

write you know anything about music is

1:06:42

both an upper and a. Down and

1:06:45

I'm starting to trust Energized Pete

1:06:47

more. I think I've had an

1:06:49

unconscious limiting belief, which is like

1:06:51

if you have a lot of

1:06:53

energy. You're going to use

1:06:55

that to torture yourself. Him: He.

1:06:57

Won't be able to focus, You won't

1:06:59

be able to like manage your feelings.

1:07:01

Everything's going to bother you cause you'll

1:07:04

have too much energy. It's how many

1:07:06

times have I told you in our

1:07:08

relationship I'm like I'm uncomfortable with like,

1:07:10

my testosterone and like my anger annals

1:07:12

of so these strategies that I didn't

1:07:14

even know I was using. Yeah, until

1:07:16

I took an inventory. I was like.

1:07:19

Jerking. Off to try and like be

1:07:21

calm I remember you are you mentioned

1:07:24

Josh Radnor which makes you think Zach

1:07:26

Braff and that sort of time and

1:07:28

there's episode of Scrubs were Turk is

1:07:30

gonna do surgery and the disaster he'd

1:07:32

doctor the redhead is like you know

1:07:34

what really calms your nerves is is

1:07:36

masturbation and is is can like a.

1:07:39

Joke. Or isn't even a joke.

1:07:41

There is some science to that. He

1:07:44

Adler. It does lower your testosterone, does

1:07:46

drop you in a little bit more.

1:07:48

And I realized since I was a

1:07:50

kid I'm like listen to school looked

1:07:53

like slow low music. Don't be horny.

1:07:56

Don't be jews. Don't

1:07:58

exercise. And. It. Like and

1:08:00

then we can keep everything nice

1:08:02

and low. Wow. That was year

1:08:05

version of playing small. Exactly what

1:08:07

I'm realizing. His energy.

1:08:10

I know I've said this a million times, but

1:08:13

it's been a big breakthrough for me. Energy doesn't

1:08:15

look, always look like Brad Pitt not league are

1:08:17

known to read x. Ray Denying mania.

1:08:19

Is. Ah, Mania! And it's not even like. Hire

1:08:22

a go on a run it in

1:08:25

our like or I'm I'm going to

1:08:27

play rugby or or or I'm gonna

1:08:29

slip out at somebody energy when you

1:08:32

can use it and engage with it

1:08:34

and and practice using all different kinds

1:08:36

of energy. Yeah this is weird, but

1:08:39

energy can be used to calm down.

1:08:41

May because energy. Another

1:08:44

thing I was doing when I was in

1:08:46

my little email freak outs was I was.

1:08:48

Looking. For gratitude moments like this

1:08:51

reliving little moments I'm not even

1:08:53

in a structured way, I was

1:08:55

just remembering. Our trip to

1:08:57

Mexico is what I was thinking about and

1:08:59

how beautiful that room was in the smell

1:09:01

of the air and to spilling that gratitude

1:09:04

and guess what. If. I'm

1:09:06

jerk a net. And. Listening

1:09:08

slow music and just trying to

1:09:10

say a load of the ground

1:09:12

as possible, I don't have the

1:09:14

energy to find gratitude because I'm

1:09:16

just very like me. he out

1:09:18

if I if I so you

1:09:20

get joost but you use the

1:09:22

juice to calm yourself deaths it

1:09:24

takes energy. To. Do Brass works.

1:09:26

Oh yeah, so like I'm listening

1:09:28

to music that's upbeat. Lot of

1:09:31

dance music these days, lot alike.

1:09:33

The. Music: Lila loves him tomorrow

1:09:36

and Linda not known star

1:09:38

rates. Apply that

1:09:41

bar A lie to say yes

1:09:43

that as music is to be

1:09:45

something that I would like. You

1:09:47

know what? Are we going? Lila was enjoying it,

1:09:49

the I put up with is one way to

1:09:51

put it, and now I'm listening to a when

1:09:54

I'm by myself because it's. Energy.

1:09:56

Doesn't have one use right?

1:09:58

You can use. Target

1:10:00

Center Get com, get

1:10:02

grounded and feel good

1:10:04

Seal. Equanimity. Yeah,

1:10:06

but it takes energy to do that as well.

1:10:09

And then the darling. Of

1:10:11

my senses by not exercising

1:10:13

by jerking off all those

1:10:15

that by eating too much

1:10:17

and Darling myself isn't actually.

1:10:20

A. Great place! It's been

1:10:22

my strategy to like shovel

1:10:24

as much snow over my

1:10:27

body that I'm still. But.

1:10:29

It's better. To. Get.

1:10:32

Glowing. White like glowing white, gold

1:10:35

and blue light. Whatever you want to

1:10:37

say. Scanning your body, getting in touch

1:10:39

with your body, getting in touch with

1:10:41

your breath, getting in touch with your

1:10:43

gratitude. And tactile

1:10:46

he being in the chair, your and

1:10:48

or whatever it is. Can.

1:10:51

Be used to be at peace

1:10:53

as well. p of were egg

1:10:55

that at this really feels like

1:10:57

a big breakthrough for me. Peace

1:10:59

isn't numbness, ran energy isn't. Brad.

1:11:01

Pitt with the headphones and pumping his arms

1:11:03

out around burn after reading. That.

1:11:06

Shit annoys me. Rainbow. You don't have to do

1:11:08

that. Know it's just like aliveness.

1:11:10

It's vitality. And you can use

1:11:12

that life. Force. That Prada or

1:11:15

whatever you want to call it. To.

1:11:17

Be chill but it's a

1:11:19

it's a better quality. Till.

1:11:22

I'm jerk in it. So. Much

1:11:24

less. Of since my

1:11:26

a vasectomy was like i don't have the first time

1:11:28

you hit. It

1:11:30

was a together with diverse as we

1:11:32

have up sister would either the have

1:11:34

or semi is your wanger after us

1:11:36

necessitates this every were very good lower

1:11:39

his with your like is gonna come

1:11:41

Elixir Breeze like what it was the

1:11:43

gonna be like a scary like you

1:11:45

said the first time use anything after

1:11:47

having a baby out I guess it

1:11:49

and make is going to work. Yeah.

1:11:52

And I've just been. This.

1:11:55

Is weird to say but. Maybe. Somewhere

1:11:57

to say I've just been like. Rid

1:12:00

of that get rid of sexual energy

1:12:02

can to distraction new been you are

1:12:04

feeling that a lot of my life

1:12:06

and like if you're going to write

1:12:08

or do a show get rid of

1:12:10

them. Don't have that And now I'm

1:12:12

like. No. Let's like

1:12:15

let's work with the the tiger that

1:12:17

not that the tiger sexual energy but

1:12:19

the tigers all the energies. Yeah, that's

1:12:21

right at the I'm ride And if

1:12:24

I want you can ride the tiger

1:12:26

to a very tranquil Dutch village with

1:12:28

windmills. And. Just smell the flowers,

1:12:30

You know you can. Yeah, but

1:12:32

it actually takes energy to be

1:12:35

com like a good com a

1:12:37

A quality. Com on a Sunday.

1:12:39

Dead but just said presence. Yeah,

1:12:41

not numb, yeah, but good

1:12:43

know I've really. I don't

1:12:45

know. I feel like. Let.

1:12:48

Me put it is why didn't the pot

1:12:50

guess I would have needed to hear So

1:12:52

that's what we're sharing. Sure I know people

1:12:54

are enjoying it. I want is they one

1:12:56

other thing about you think your body and

1:12:59

it's intuitive wisdom and this isn't this might

1:13:01

sound. I could see some of saying this

1:13:03

to discredit. What? You did, but

1:13:05

I'm actually not, but it reminds me

1:13:07

of a weed you board. But let's

1:13:09

be real. People have very freaky. Throw

1:13:12

this away. Scary.

1:13:15

Experiences with weegee boards on and I

1:13:17

think it might be like let's let

1:13:19

the body. Answer. Some questions.

1:13:21

Yeah so like there's something in

1:13:23

the effective way that I'm like

1:13:25

maybe that's where things like we'd

1:13:27

you boards, get their juices, you're

1:13:29

asking questions and then you're allowing

1:13:31

be the wisdom of your body

1:13:34

to control. Yeah because everybody knows

1:13:36

you know your unconsciously harvey ones

1:13:38

as you're going towards the yes

1:13:40

or would see i know in

1:13:42

horror movie that likes scripts over

1:13:44

it's but in reality you're like

1:13:46

you're letting a deeper or a

1:13:48

different wisdom he answer questions which.

1:13:50

Is what it sounds like you were doing. I would

1:13:52

believe that for sure, I think.

1:13:54

And there's people. There's like stories

1:13:57

as. Even Lisa

1:13:59

Dungarees. Brand has a story

1:14:01

about. Have. Like going.

1:14:04

Through this thing where this certain

1:14:06

like this very like. Trippy.

1:14:09

Hard moment in life where the

1:14:12

certain song was playing and then

1:14:14

like a week later got being

1:14:16

in a movie theater and the

1:14:18

same song started playing and like

1:14:20

her body like. Started.

1:14:22

Moving by itself slow yeah I get

1:14:24

was like more like working this thing

1:14:27

it out. It's the it's not a

1:14:29

trial his our our bodies are living.

1:14:32

Things. That may have the

1:14:34

wonderful man. Ex

1:14:36

marine. Who administered my

1:14:38

five M E O ceremony. Men

1:14:41

has a very specific playlist that

1:14:43

he was playing was really cool.

1:14:46

And. Dumb. She said,

1:14:48

you. Just. Be mindful that

1:14:50

these songs are now imprinted a new

1:14:52

yeah Because I heard this song that

1:14:54

I was listening to on my first

1:14:56

Five M E O trip while I

1:14:59

was driving in the car and this

1:15:01

is a normal day and next thing

1:15:03

I know I'm just bawling allowing having

1:15:05

this incredibly intense experience. Which is funny

1:15:07

cause when I do my priming in

1:15:09

the morning I listen to the song

1:15:11

from my five emil think is it

1:15:13

puts me in this place real. Eons

1:15:15

of home on it In a with it

1:15:17

yeah. All right everybody.

1:15:20

They. Ah,

1:15:25

They don't There's a podcast four

1:15:27

years. Apart as baby. We're so glad

1:15:29

you're here! Valerie take us home. Already

1:15:32

these keep it is. T.