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See for yourself at

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Unlimited slows. Wow.

1:48

Hello welcome to the Border Robot Kills problem as

1:50

were building about life in Japan for. the

1:52

actually big in japan on the host

1:55

chris board which would otherwise boy aged

1:57

top predators yes mister pete dose and

1:59

himself pete How the hell are you doing? What's going

2:01

on? I'm okay, Christopher.

2:03

I say I'm okay, I'm a little

2:05

bit upset because I've done one thing

2:08

that I think every dog owner gets

2:11

upset by if it ever happens to them. I've

2:13

accidentally got a bit of dog

2:16

food on my hand and it's

2:18

made me feel a bit, it's

2:20

given me the gyps, I'm not

2:23

enjoying life to be honest. I'm

2:25

like, I've got dog food on my

2:27

hand and I didn't notice and now my

2:29

hand smells of dog food. So

2:31

if the listeners in the viewers take

2:34

nothing else for a show, just

2:36

know that my hand smells of dog

2:38

food and it's just one of those

2:41

feelings next to cotton wool on the

2:43

teeth, fingers down a blackboard.

2:46

Dog food on your hand

2:48

is very upsetting, I find anyway. That

2:51

sounds horrible. I mean,

2:53

I spend a phenomenal amount of time with

2:55

cats now. Our

2:58

youngest cat, Tuna, who I've talked about at

3:00

length being a tyrannical

3:02

cat, he can open doors and

3:05

seemingly perform the impossible. We put him in a cage once when

3:07

we first got him and at about

3:11

7am he burst into the room and

3:13

jumped on my face and was like,

3:15

and we were like, how did he

3:17

get out? We moved the door open,

3:20

went in there, the door was shut and

3:22

to this day we don't know how he got out. We're

3:24

talking like a cage with small gaps, you know,

3:26

like the metal's close together. He

3:29

must have literally stuffed his head

3:31

through and done a Houdini, like a steak

3:33

or something. I don't know how he did

3:35

it. Is he made of

3:37

molten metal, Chris? That's what we need to

3:39

add today, I think. Is he made of

3:41

little metal that he squeezed through? Yeah, honestly,

3:44

sometimes I wish. What's

3:47

that? Love hearts? I'm also eating

3:49

some love hearts as well. Should we do a

3:52

little... Love hearts are great, but

3:54

around about like, around about the

3:56

year 2000 they started filling them

3:58

with like absolute millennial joy. saying

4:00

stuff like email me, text

4:03

me, I love you. It's

4:06

quite lit. Yeah, just all that nonsense.

4:09

So hang on. Do we have love hearts in the

4:11

rest of the world or is it a British phenomenon?

4:13

They're basically sweet guys where there's a little love heart

4:15

and it has a little romantic message on it. I

4:17

take a little romantic message on it, yeah. It's sketchy.

4:22

It just says you can. I don't

4:24

come to love hearts for

4:26

inspirational messages. I

4:29

come to love hearts for

4:32

love messages, not you can. Should

4:35

be inspirational, should be about, you

4:37

know, dog food on the hand kind of love.

4:40

It's true. There's another one, it's true. None

4:42

of this makes sense. None of this is these love hearts.

4:44

Oh yeah, yeah. I don't think Americans have love

4:46

hearts. I think they have sweet

4:49

hearts. I think I spoke about this on

4:51

the podcast a couple of years ago. I

4:53

got obsessed with the quite, so I think

4:55

70s sweet in America. Sweet

4:59

hearts, sweet hearts. And

5:02

they are insanely

5:04

good and you can get really big ones.

5:06

I put it in the mouth and it

5:08

fills your mouth. And the only

5:11

thing is, you have to

5:13

brush your teeth immediately afterwards because

5:15

otherwise your teeth will ache for about three days.

5:17

I'm off to WrestleMania

5:21

in a few weeks time in Philadelphia

5:23

and I'm gonna absolutely fill my carry

5:26

on full of sweet

5:28

hearts for the journey home. And then I'll

5:31

just spend a month complaining about why my

5:33

teeth absolutely kill. I

5:35

mean, American sweets are on another level. Famously,

5:38

Natsky described Hershey's chocolate as having

5:40

an animal smell. We did a

5:42

blind taste test and he was

5:45

nearly physically sick. You

5:47

need a cup of coffee with American canned, you

5:51

need a cup of coffee with American chocolate, I think. You

5:54

need to sort of acquire a bit of a taste. Once you've

5:56

got it though, it's there for life, I think. But yeah, you're

5:58

right. The first few times you have a Hershey's chocolate, she's kissed

6:00

or something. It's like, oh god, it's like

6:02

cat's sick. It really does. But

6:06

what I will say is I remember going

6:08

to America as a kid for the first

6:10

time when I was nine and being amazed

6:12

in an American sweet shop at the fact

6:14

there was more than one flavor of Skittles.

6:16

Because in the UK it's just the bland

6:18

red packet. In America it was like tropical

6:21

flavor, sour flavor, excitement flavor. And I was

6:23

like wow America's such a great country it's

6:25

just so much better than anywhere else. They've

6:27

got all the sweets. They've won. I don't

6:30

feel like that anymore. And like a lot of American

6:33

products they have like for some reason

6:37

they legally presumably down to the

6:40

aforementioned. Is it surgeon

6:42

general? I think he's just medicine

6:44

isn't he? Whatever USDA I

6:46

think you have to have like big warnings

6:48

on your packaging if you've got anything naughty

6:51

in it. And that's always quite disturbing like

6:53

there's color in this that could

6:56

kill you and your family for

6:58

generations. It could make you sterile

7:00

like these lovely sweets

7:03

you know some old

7:05

crackerjacks or something. A mouthful

7:07

of that tasty trisodium phosphate.

7:10

I remember warheads though like the first time

7:12

I had a warhead. Have you ever had

7:14

that a sour sweet? It's like pure explosion

7:17

in your mouth. They're the most available

7:20

because like a lot of like tax

7:22

write-offs and like dodgy like is it

7:25

QAT companies or Iraq?

7:27

No not Iraqi. You know like

7:29

visit the high street in

7:32

London. There's always like an American

7:34

candy store. And I think it's

7:36

QAT businessmen and women. It's

7:38

like this weird tax write-off thing.

7:40

So apologies to the QATs if

7:42

I besmirch your good name. But I'm

7:45

fairly certain like a

7:47

load of the ones on Oxford Circus was Cinque

7:49

80. Anyway they rock up they do

7:52

half a year's worth of business and

7:54

they don't find any bits and

7:56

bobs and then and then and then and then chip off.

7:58

It's a great business plan. But

8:00

yeah, it's a really interesting, but

8:03

they just sell American candy. And

8:06

they don't seem to be doing that

8:08

much of a trade, but they're always

8:10

there. And

8:12

yeah, but like

8:15

the American warheads are always

8:17

front and centre next to

8:19

some marshmallow flavoured Hershey nonsense.

8:22

But they're always front and centre and they're always very available.

8:24

But I've never done it in my boats with them. Never

8:27

done it in boats. Get ready for

8:29

lemon flavour. Lemon flavour. It's

8:32

one of those sweets that you think about in your mouth just to

8:34

live ate some. To

8:36

live ate. Your mouth's

8:38

to live ate him. He

8:41

is. To live ate him for this

8:44

week's story. And this story comes from

8:46

David. And it's very long because whoever

8:48

did the podcast this week, probably Dave,

8:50

didn't. Get it right. It begins. Get

8:52

it right. Stop complaining. This

8:54

story takes place one chilly afternoon in

8:56

Kyoto just before Christmas. I'd

8:59

been to Japan on a solo trip before and

9:01

this time I'd been acting as a bit of a tour

9:03

guide to my parents. After sightseeing in

9:05

Gion, we were all feeling hungry and at

9:07

this point in the trip we'd already eaten

9:10

quite a lot. Sushi, ramen, udon, yakitori and

9:12

pretty much just about everything. It was at

9:14

this point I made the executive decision that

9:16

we should go to a magical and mysterious

9:19

place that I'd heard so much about. It

9:21

was a famous Japanese McDonald's which

9:23

I'd still not been to. Fun fact, just

9:25

last week Mark Zuckerberg was in Japan and he

9:27

went to McDonald's. He described it as being

9:29

I think like a Michelin star experience.

9:33

So there you go, Mark Zuckerberg. He's just like

9:35

all of us. He's a normal boy. It

9:37

was at this point my, sorry,

9:40

everything was going smoothly. And as

9:43

we sat down in our seats I was excited to

9:45

see just how excellent a Japanese Big Mac really is.

9:48

My mum had ordered a salad and it

9:50

had come with a peculiar salad dressing packet

9:52

which requires you to squeeze it in a

9:54

certain way so as not to cause complete

9:56

and total disaster. Was that at this point

9:58

my mum, unaware that she had it pointing

10:00

in the right direction. wrong direction, squeezed on

10:02

the salad dressing packet, sending the fluid fly

10:04

over in the direction

10:07

of an innocent and unsuspecting Japanese family.

10:09

I was sitting on the opposite side

10:11

and not being able to fully assess

10:13

the damage. I started panicking. I tried

10:15

to reassure my parents saying, oh, maybe

10:17

it didn't hit them. Don't worry, as

10:19

the family was sitting in a booth

10:22

and not directly beside us. Later, as

10:24

we were leaving, I noticed one of

10:26

the family members get up and on

10:28

the back of the poor woman's jacket

10:31

there was, in fact, salad dressing

10:34

all over it. Staff began running over to

10:36

wipe off the stains, trying to figure out

10:38

how such a horrible crime could have possibly

10:40

taken place. A commotion set

10:42

in and with my parents having

10:45

already exited McDonald's after their terrorist

10:47

act. Fully panicked, I

10:49

began making excuses. I don't know Japanese

10:51

to explain what happened. I basically, this

10:54

guy made his way out of McDonald's

10:56

and got away with it after destroying

10:58

a family's jacket with

11:01

some salad dressing, an

11:04

act of terrorism by all accounts. Poor

11:06

family. Unsuspecting family.

11:10

I like the fact that they sort of thought, they

11:13

thought, oh, maybe we got away with it.

11:15

They just looked at salad cream all over

11:17

the back of somebody. They're

11:22

going to be real raw. A town for

11:24

crying out loud. Awful. They

11:27

knew Johnny Somali, the salad cream

11:29

murderer. Oh, yeah. My

11:32

God. I went to Wendy's the other day.

11:34

It was just starting to turn into just

11:36

all American culture. Reviewing. Reviewing

11:38

American culture. I did

11:40

have a quick look to see if I could

11:43

find out whether it was Q80 business and businesses.

11:45

I don't know where I got Q80. I even

11:47

looked on the Daily Mail website. I thought, look,

11:49

if somebody's going to be a jingoistic and anti-foreign,

11:51

it's going to be them. And they've not mentioned

11:53

a country apart from they were registered in Jersey

11:55

and Russia. So I don't know where I got

11:57

Q80 from. Apologies to the Q80s. It

12:00

was just someone from my deep recesses of my

12:02

mind. I Promised you

12:05

I wasn't in problematic. I'll be problematic in other ways.

12:07

So don't worry about that later on Well,

12:10

I went to Wendy's and it was

12:12

the worst burger I've ever had it was like Oh

12:15

like the burger just tasted moldy. It

12:17

was I like Wendy's I like the bacon

12:19

a I live for the bacon a and No,

12:21

I don't want to go to Wendy's ever again in the same way

12:24

Just like it's like a burger with bacon on it. Is that is

12:27

that is that what the bacon inter is? It's

12:30

a fair assumption. It's kind of yeah, it's like

12:32

a square burger. I mean all Wendy's burgers are

12:34

square That's their unique selling point. Somebody went on

12:36

like a saw yeah, I got a sausage All

12:40

right. Okay a little bit. I think

12:42

they just assumed of its square. That's

12:44

our unique selling point McDonald's Okay, don't

12:46

have square burgers. Oh But

12:48

like it was awful. That's a real

12:50

shame. What's the animal that does cuboid

12:53

poos? one One

12:56

back to cuboid poos. This is an animal that does

12:59

cuboid poos Maybe you'd

13:01

be saying USP. You'd be so

13:03

good on a pub quiz with your q80 sweet Right

13:10

it's Russian and Jersey and you

13:12

idiot Yeah,

13:17

but I went for him yesterday

13:19

for the first time what in a while I went for

13:21

a scheming which is kind of like dipping

13:24

ramen No,

13:26

no, no, I've never heard of skin.

13:28

What do you it sounds like it sounds like a fish?

13:31

What do you do? Just dip like a bit like

13:34

bread in your arm and like a like an option?

13:37

No, no, no, okay. It's coming. It's kind

13:39

of I think it's the kanji fight scatter

13:41

with and men noodles and basically

13:43

you have like the it's like somebody got

13:45

a ramen and like Separated

13:48

it in a magical machine, but basically

13:50

the broth is here You've

13:52

got your noodles and your pork and your egg in

13:54

a separate bowl and then you pick it up and

13:56

dip it in and eat it and

13:59

typically a sort of broth

14:01

it's more concentrated it's stronger as well

14:03

but like in like

14:06

a ramen like

14:08

a little bit

14:10

that would probably be better than what I had

14:12

yesterday like I in in Sakata I

14:15

used to live they had the best scum and

14:17

ever everything was so good this place I was

14:19

walking around Tokyo trying to film something it would

14:21

all it was all going horribly wrong I saw

14:23

this restaurant I was like oh yeah this

14:25

will tear my fortunes around scum and I haven't had

14:27

that in four years went in and

14:30

it was shit the reason it was shit

14:32

was because for some reason everything

14:34

was just really weirdly cold and

14:37

when you have them in separate bowls it's still supposed to

14:39

be hot and you dip it in and it's nice what

14:41

happened here is the noodles the egg in the port were

14:43

cold the broth was like really

14:45

weird the top of the broth was hot

14:47

and the bottom of the broth was cold

14:50

as if it like transcended the laws of

14:52

thermodynamics I don't know why the laws of

14:54

the Goldilocks law I call it or

14:57

the shit microwave law as I call it I'm

14:59

guessing they must have put it in the microwave

15:01

or something this liquid but not to

15:03

the right amount of time I don't know all

15:05

I know is it was it was pretty rancid

15:07

and I was very disappointed and then

15:09

I was very lethargic for three hours because very noodle

15:11

heavy meal so I lost an all-front

15:14

in a bit that's a lot of it

15:16

you had a terrible just why do you have a Wendy's

15:18

baked potato come coming coming

15:20

Wendy's I can't eat fucking Wendy's my

15:22

life is maybe you just maybe just

15:24

all of your um you know your

15:26

Japanese your love of the Japanese food

15:29

has just absolutely deserted you and you

15:31

just you just you just want something

15:33

a bit British again maybe

15:35

but my life might be bad but it's

15:37

not as bad as the poor principal in

15:39

this week's story this is a really depressing

15:43

story involves

15:45

coffee theft and a

15:47

man who lost his job his

15:50

life and everything over

15:52

stealing like a 300 yen coffee

15:56

anyway take it away Pete fill us in what's

15:58

going on you always don't walk up to

16:00

telling the whole story then you just jump over

16:02

the line and tell us all about it. You've

16:07

just said it. I do like Japan because there

16:09

is a real kind of raft of measures you

16:16

can give men

16:18

of advancing years because

16:21

if you commit a crime late

16:23

in life they can take your pension

16:25

off you really like soon as look

16:28

at yet. A junior high school principal

16:30

in Kobe has lost his job and retirement pay

16:32

believed to be around about $135,000 as a punishment

16:36

for over filling his coffee at

16:38

a convenience store in Takasogo, Hiogo

16:41

Prefecture. I got it

16:44

at school board the principal paid 110

16:46

yen at the counter of a convenience

16:48

store to buy a regular sized coffee

16:50

at a self-service coffee machine. However a

16:52

store clerk noticed that he filled his

16:54

cup by pressing the button for a

16:56

large coffee which actually cost 180 yen.

17:00

Police sent files on the suspected

17:02

theft of the Himeji branch of

17:05

the Kobe district public prosecutor's office.

17:07

The prosecutors acknowledged that he committed

17:09

the theft but decided not to indict him. The

17:11

school board officials basically said right

17:14

what's all this about mate you've been getting

17:16

bigger coffees and you've been pressing the big

17:20

coffee button and you've only been paying for a

17:22

small coffee. The man said

17:24

I did it on the impulse of

17:26

the moment and he's truly sorry for his misconduct

17:28

he also admitted doing the same thing

17:31

four times at another store bringing

17:33

the total amount he had scammed

17:35

to 490 yen. How

17:37

much is that in dollars and poons? It's

17:40

about £2.60 or $3.30. $30. Versus

17:49

$135,000 salary. So basically the board official told the Asahi

18:00

Shimbun good god can you

18:02

imagine the Asai Shimbun reporter going I'd say

18:04

I could be doing yakuza stuff and I'm

18:06

dealing with a man who stole five dollars

18:08

of coffee and they decided on a

18:10

strict application of the rules in the principal's case and

18:13

yeah apparently this this prefecture has

18:15

previous because a municipal

18:17

employee was dismissed for pouring a 200 yen cafe

18:20

latte at a self-serve coffee machine at a

18:23

convenience store despite paying for a 100 yen

18:26

coffee I'm a little

18:28

bit worried because I

18:30

may have done exactly

18:32

that repeatedly I'll add

18:35

a little bit of syrup at the S or garage

18:37

if I'm filling up my card it's costing me a hundred dollars

18:39

I think that you know bit of

18:41

shoplifting reverses the damage I think I'm

18:44

not paying an extra 30p for the

18:46

first time you've admitted to incredible crimes

18:48

didn't you like school in Heathshire Airport

18:50

once because you're like oh

18:52

that was a meat horse that

18:55

was me free can of coffee I'll have

18:57

that I was tired I was just tired

18:59

and confused I yeah I made off made

19:01

off like a bandit I think that's the

19:03

only bit of proper shoplifting I've ever done

19:05

it's very exciting oh

19:07

I was I realize you're the villains

19:10

the Pete Donaldson story exactly so

19:12

I'm bumbling through life shoplifting I'm gonna do I'm gonna

19:14

remember Richard and Judy Richard there's a

19:17

TV presenters in Britain a bumbling

19:19

kind of idiot called

19:23

Richard and Judy was his wife and they

19:25

used to be on television together and Judy

19:27

was it was good and Richard was just like

19:30

a real stupid posh man

19:33

and he and he was

19:35

caught shoplifting once and it was a real kind of

19:37

like it would be like who's

19:39

like is it Kelly and Richard and

19:41

Kelly no Kelly in something or other

19:43

in America they're like kind of like

19:46

you know house wives kind of favorite kind of older

19:49

men more sketchy knowledge and Pete

19:51

yeah weird animals and Q80 restaurants or whatever

19:54

it's not even a lot of Chris maybe

19:56

a better a bit of my American TV I

20:00

figured you said bloody love arts for crying out

20:02

loud mmm. That's a shit break. I put him

20:04

in my mouth No, I'm sorry. Sorry. It's happened.

20:06

It's happened But yeah, it

20:09

just it seems quite excessive 20 million

20:11

yen of pension lost for a 490

20:13

yen Theft

20:15

like did did he do this before

20:18

is this was it was it is

20:20

it just one He's also a he was also an

20:22

arms trader. No Maybe

20:24

it's maybe it's just like a new way

20:26

school Skill principles are

20:28

just it's all tied up with being a

20:31

leader of your community I suppose isn't it and you've

20:33

got a certain example to the children So I imagine

20:36

there's quite a lot of stuff written in your contract

20:38

or maybe even not that you just get away with

20:40

Absolute bloody murder in Japan when

20:42

it comes to workplace relations and workplace

20:44

conduct But yeah, it's probably just like

20:46

well you are supposed to be leading

20:49

the children and we can't have you

20:51

just stealing a Moderate

20:53

amount of coffee a couple of times awful.

20:55

Absolutely awful. I felt back like

20:57

the when they interviewed him He said why did

20:59

it on the impulse of the moment? You

21:02

lost 135 thousands Yeah

21:11

Surely I mean surely this is all to do

21:13

with I mean, where was this was

21:15

it was a convenient so it was technically Proper

21:19

theft it wasn't like like a school cafeteria.

21:21

Imagine. I mean if you're doing that in

21:23

7-eleven, what's he doing elsewhere? That's what

21:25

I want to know When the spur

21:27

of the moment, I think I feel

21:30

like this was a setup by the the

21:32

local government to save on pension payments They're

21:34

like, yeah coffee ever take the coffee. Yeah,

21:36

make sure you press the right button. Don't

21:38

take the hard one Oh,

21:41

you pressed it. Oh, is your pension going? Pension

21:46

Like maybe they start like These

21:49

kind of not investigators just follow around

21:51

all the people And

21:54

try and take their pension pension ends

21:56

away from kind of whole squad of

21:58

men in sort of trench coats

22:00

and fedoras just falling out because at some point

22:02

they're gonna you know I don't know cut a

22:05

red light or something just get them get them

22:07

bank the rights take the pension off them save

22:10

the welfare state it's probably

22:14

how North Korea operates to be fair and

22:16

a very similar circumstances but yeah I mean

22:19

I think it's sad I think that's a

22:21

bit excessive but

22:23

examples need to be made I don't know

22:26

I mean right where do you stand on

22:28

this because I remember we talked about the

22:30

guy the Canadian dude who defaced a temple

22:32

with his name 1200 year old temple he

22:35

wrote I'm a dickhead or whatever on it

22:37

that's a little bit more cut and

22:40

then you know I think you've got a fine

22:42

and you were like give that man

22:44

a cookie I like that might not

22:46

bring your exact words but you were like oh

22:48

yeah a lot of stuff Chris I know a

22:50

lot of pop caps I've got a

22:52

lot of opinion Jeff you're not

22:55

sure any Q80 sweet shop give that give that

22:57

Q80 sweet

23:00

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23:03

excessive what do you think guys let us

23:05

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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's

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And we're back with the fax machine. What do we got this

26:53

week from our listeners Mr. Donaldson. Fill us in. We're

26:55

off to Savannah from Texas. Hello Swiss

26:57

Chris and meet Pete. Couldn't think

26:59

of clever alliterations so I decided to do rhymes instead

27:02

but they're also not clever. I'm

27:04

an alt in the smaller town of Nakatsugawa

27:06

in Gifu Prefecture. It's along the Nakasendo and

27:08

I really love it here. Smiley face. I

27:10

listen to your audiobook and I related so

27:12

much to your experiences living in a small

27:14

town during your first three years in Japan.

27:17

Anyway some of my fellow alts here

27:19

and I decided to do a dungeon

27:21

and dragons campaign since there's not much

27:23

else to do here. We tried playing in

27:25

one of our apartment but we quickly realised

27:27

that the thin Japanese walls could not contain

27:29

our boisterous voices. We come up with the idea

27:32

of reserving a room at the local karaoke place. We

27:34

spent at least six hours every week

27:36

playing D&D in a karaoke room and

27:39

it's been the perfect location. We can yell,

27:41

we can cry, we can dramatically die

27:43

to our hearts content without disrupting the

27:45

locals. There was only one instance when

27:47

a staff

27:49

member came into the room and asked if we

27:52

were going to sing to which we replied no

27:54

and he just left. Have you ever heard of

27:56

people reserving karaoke rooms for reasons other than singing?

27:58

If so what were those? reasons. Silly

28:00

Savannah from Texas would you go to a

28:02

karaoke room with just I know then

28:05

scream about your dad about

28:07

your ma'am. Absolutely

28:10

like I did the podcast with

28:12

Connor on the Broad Japan podcast

28:14

I think the first time Connor

28:16

came on his Broad Japan podcast it

28:18

was a karaoke booth in Sendai

28:21

because something was wrong with the studio there

28:23

was some construction and he

28:25

was like what is this because trash tastes

28:27

like a five trillion dollar set up with

28:29

four five Canon cameras and all and

28:32

I was like me on like

28:34

a dinky camera in a fucking

28:36

karaoke booth and you know what is

28:38

this there's an atrocity and

28:41

also I know Riotaro uses karaoke

28:43

booths to sometimes nap him and just have

28:45

a sleep right just chill out

28:47

have a sleep do some work. Napski.

28:50

Napski, Asso. They are

28:52

good for that you know I they're good

28:54

just sitting in there getting work done if

28:56

you need a bit of peace and quiet

28:59

so yeah. I'm actually like cheaper

29:01

than like a we-work or something I mean

29:03

I get to think so I mean in

29:05

London and stuff like karaoke places lucky voice

29:08

and stuff they are so prohibitively expensive that

29:10

it's really not the place to do stuff

29:13

and they're not great facilities and you know

29:15

but in Japan they're just so all over

29:17

the place you can probably get decent prices

29:19

for them. Pick the sleep in them don't they and if

29:22

they miss the last train? Absolutely

29:24

yeah I think I think

29:27

I've done that once it wasn't overly comfortable don't recommend

29:29

it but it was like 1500 to 2000

29:33

yen for like two or three hours and

29:36

you get all you can drink you get some really questionable

29:38

food admittedly probably not as

29:40

bad as the schemin or the Wendy's I

29:43

had but they do do food I'm

29:46

actually going to the Nakasendo

29:48

Trail in the not too distant future and

29:50

I'm staying in the town of Nakasendoa

29:52

so I'll have to keep an eye out for

29:54

this Dungeons and Dragons group and

29:56

burst into the karaoke beef and

29:59

just do I don't know

30:01

what Dungeons and Dragons is. What is it Pete?

30:03

It's a board game, right? It's a

30:05

fantasy role-playing, isn't it? You haven't played it? I

30:08

did once when I was

30:10

surprisingly looking at me. I've not

30:12

played a lot of role-playing to be honest, but I

30:16

did play... there was a... there was

30:18

a Ninja Turtles RPG back in the

30:21

day that

30:23

I kind of got into with a couple of

30:25

friends at the... they used to be like this...

30:27

I used to paint like Citadel miniatures which, oh,

30:29

don't surprise you, you know those little sort of

30:31

lead figurines that... and I was terrible at it.

30:33

Anyone who could paint those things. Well,

30:36

I just... I just think they're incredible. I think

30:38

they're so talented to be able to do it.

30:41

Because they're so, so very tiny, they're so very

30:43

wee. And I used to play this

30:45

Ninja Turtles one where I was this... ass-kicking

30:48

armadillo. Of course you

30:50

did. But I lose... I lost patience

30:52

with the Dungeon Master. Maybe I just

30:54

hadn't had the Dungeon... the decent Dungeon

30:56

Master. That's the question. Dungeon

30:59

Master. I mean... Is he still calling Dungeon Masters? I

31:01

don't know. I don't know. I've got

31:03

nothing against board games. I've got nothing against board games.

31:05

It's just I never... outside of

31:07

like Monopoly, I can't really... like

31:09

all my American friends are always trying to rope me into things

31:12

like a good friend of mine, he's

31:14

always like, let's play Settlers of Catan. Settlers of

31:16

Catan. I'm like, I don't know what that is.

31:18

It sounds fun. Life is

31:20

my video game. I don't need a board. Or

31:23

poker. I'll play poker. Give me poker. Right.

31:25

I'm sure it's a good day. I

31:28

would say that there's a... I

31:30

mean obviously Settlers of Catan and board games are

31:32

quite rigid with their rules and stuff. But like

31:34

I think... the Game Master I

31:36

think they're called. Like so like a good Game

31:38

Master like can make an RPG out of like

31:41

a one-page detail of what a

31:43

game is basically. It's a fascinating discipline and

31:45

you know real revival.

31:48

And has been very popular

31:50

for the last few years. So yeah, good.

31:52

And more power to the Armistice banner from

31:54

Texas. Enjoy. Well speaking of

31:56

revival, our next question from Drew is

31:58

about Shogun. Hello guys. I've been enjoying

32:00

watching Shogun. We will talk about at some

32:02

point, every week I dangle the carrot of

32:04

Shogun. It'll talk about next week and then

32:06

we just don't. I would ask,

32:10

is it still legal to carry a

32:12

sword in public in Japan? All the

32:14

best. Drew.

32:16

No, Drew, as far as I know, you can't

32:19

walk down the street with a katana in hand

32:22

like your John Black film, Shogun

32:26

or whatever. No, please don't do

32:28

that. Don't try that. Don't ever

32:30

do that. We've got

32:32

one last question from Haley, who

32:34

says, not really a long question, but related to the jet

32:36

program and the girl who left as

32:39

it wasn't a party town like Hong Kong, my

32:41

old colleague, Chris, do you think the

32:43

abroad Japan channel would have existed if you were

32:46

in more of a party place like Osaka or

32:48

Tokyo? Or would you be too busy propping up

32:50

the bar in the

32:53

local Izakaya? All

32:55

the best, Haley. Wherever I would

32:58

have ended up, I would have done YouTube, I

33:00

think, and probably would have been a lot more

33:02

fun if I said Osaka as well. The

33:05

stories I would have come up with there, the

33:07

things that would have happened would have put

33:09

Osaka to shame. You wouldn't have

33:11

met Natsuki though. You

33:14

wouldn't have met her. Well, I mean, everyone

33:16

in Osaka is just Natsuki. Half of Osaka's

33:18

population is just Natsuki. That is true. It

33:20

would have been different. They're quite mad. What's

33:22

the thing about in Osaka when you

33:24

shoot your gun at them? You're pointing a gun in their

33:26

face and not a gun,

33:28

but your fingers. Don't they

33:30

pretend to die? That's right. If

33:32

you... That's a uniquely Osaka phenomenon.

33:35

If you do the space to pull

33:37

out your fingers and pretend you're shooting

33:40

someone, people are supposed to

33:42

react to it. It said people react

33:44

to it. I watched the YouTube video

33:46

actually on somebody testing out this theory,

33:48

like a social experiment, right? Pretending to

33:50

shoot people. People

33:53

did it. It was pretty cool. I might try next time

33:55

down there. Go around, point at my

33:57

fingers. Are you like, we have a real gun around? Get

34:00

out a fucking sword like

34:02

Drew, wave it around Osaka and see what happens.

34:05

Keep the stories, questions, comments coming in to [email protected].

34:07

We'll be back later in the week guys to

34:09

do it all over again, but for now, no

34:11

matter where you might be, out there in the

34:13

big wide world, have yourself a great few days.

34:16

We'll see you right back here to talk about

34:18

Shogun on the Abroad Japan Podcast. Bye for now.

34:37

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