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rosettastone.com/drink. That's

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rosettastone.com/drink. Hello,

1:36

everyone. It's

1:46

April 1. Welcome to our April Fool's

1:48

episode. I even had

1:51

the audacity to start speaking to us before

1:53

I hit record and then brought some really

1:55

weird energy to the table. So I stopped

1:57

everything, started recording. Eva, please go ahead with

1:59

your. nonsense now

2:01

that we're recording you. I hate that.

2:04

That's why I'm

2:06

doing it. Hello and

2:08

welcome to April Ghoul. Oh,

2:13

God. Do we celebrate

2:15

publicly? I celebrate

2:18

privately, so don't speak for me. Thank you. You're

2:20

right. You're right. I'm

2:23

not putting words in anyone's mouth. Only my own.

2:25

April Ghoul, two boos and a

2:28

lie. Two boos and a

2:30

lie. Okay. All right. Okay.

2:33

Yeah. Sure. Whatever

2:35

you say. So what I have done, I have artisanally hand selected.

2:38

Oh. Two. Arctisanally.

2:40

From farm to local audacity. Yes.

2:45

Exactly. From farm to

2:47

garage band, actually. I

2:49

feel like it's an actually

2:51

pretty good metaphor there. That's

2:55

beautiful. I actually love that a lot. That's

2:58

really lovely. So, yeah,

3:00

I picked two stories, but there

3:02

are three stories for you to read today. So

3:06

you have to pick which one I wrote. Oh, my

3:08

God. So one of them is

3:10

a lie that Eva made up. Okay. Got

3:12

it. This is going to be

3:14

so interesting because Eva reads so many of

3:17

these emails. I wonder, she's probably like adopted

3:19

the exact tone of a real podcast story,

3:21

like listener story. So I'm nervous

3:23

that this is going to be a big fail on

3:25

my part. I'm nervous it's going

3:27

to be a big fail on my part, to be honest.

3:29

I was writing it. I was like, how is this not

3:32

so obvious, but also people out

3:35

there have wild stories. So there's that too. I

3:38

feel like I'm going to be able to figure it out. I think I

3:40

will. I feel like I know

3:42

Eva well enough. I feel like only one

3:44

will mention something really obnoxious about us

3:46

on road trips. And then I'll

3:49

be able to figure it out for sure. Maybe

3:51

she's just trying to call us

3:53

out publicly. Maybe that's what this is. I think

3:56

I will overthink it and get it wrong and

3:58

M will just like know without. with

4:00

certainty and without question. So that's

4:02

my hypothesis for today, but we'll

4:04

see what actually happens. Eva

4:07

did send us a folder just now. Is

4:10

there a specific, I don't wanna, April

4:12

Gould's two boos and a lie, that's the title.

4:14

Do I, I don't wanna open it and

4:17

mess anything up. Is there like a specific

4:19

order or instruction? There's not a specific order.

4:22

I hadn't actually, since they're only three stories,

4:24

I figured you guys could pick who goes

4:26

first and who doesn't. I

4:28

did, obviously I took, Christine,

4:31

here's the thing. I really thought

4:33

through, I did not think through,

4:35

you might be right actually, I

4:37

think M is the wild card

4:40

in this situation because Christine, I

4:42

put so much thought into your

4:44

internet sleuthing. I literally was like,

4:46

I was like, do I submit

4:49

my own story to the website? Yeah, yeah, you knew I

4:51

would know if the margins, the margins were different and I'd

4:53

be like, I know which one it is, just saying I

4:55

would not even reading it. This is

4:57

a classic case of you

5:00

can't bullshit a bullshitter

5:02

because Eva, and by

5:04

the way, we could not, Eva thrust

5:06

this upon us, let's be clear. No

5:09

one asked, Eva said, I'm handling April Fool's, don't

5:11

worry about it. And I went, didn't know we

5:13

were celebrating. She didn't quite say don't, she didn't

5:16

quite say don't worry about it. She actually said,

5:18

I'm really worried about it, we should all be

5:20

worried about it. And I said, well,

5:22

that's just great. So there wasn't actually no

5:24

words of comfort that accompanied her announcement. I

5:26

feel like M maybe read the comfort between

5:28

the lines because from what I got, it

5:31

was, Eek, I don't know what this

5:33

is gonna be. And I was like, cool, cool, cool,

5:35

that's great. I can't wait. Eek

5:37

constantly, equal, forever. Anyway,

5:39

silent, silent applause around the world

5:42

for Eva because this was, Don't

5:44

do that yet. I was gonna say, can

5:46

we hold the applause till after M? You

5:48

came in, I'm just proud of you. Feeling

5:50

really against this whole plot and said, I

5:52

hate this. And now suddenly you wanna start

5:54

clapping. I mean, I hate this, but I

5:56

gotta be appreciative of effort

5:59

where that. We're out nice I at

6:01

am I only hate us because

6:03

I am going to Usually I

6:05

don't have to guess and are

6:07

based on some wonder adolescent L

6:09

L am and the friendships. Us is

6:11

really got again. I think you're the only one who's

6:13

gonna be good at this. I don't think I mean

6:16

understand how to play. Wire

6:19

and. Again considering i put

6:21

so much as the literally what i

6:23

did is i i pulled the to

6:25

sorry that i did pit of real

6:27

and. Current. list. I mean

6:29

when a current, a real listener, real

6:31

lifeless, or if I'm I put their

6:34

stories into a. The. A Google doc

6:36

so all three three there in the same

6:38

Google.howard they're labeled like story one story to

6:40

solder in of and then as best they

6:42

could. I put the like

6:44

subject line, their name pronouns, their email

6:46

contact. Like all of that I put

6:48

into the top so it looks like

6:50

I'll you got the similar info that

6:52

you would get. Them. An

6:55

email. Like the

6:57

sexual. Email format so you had

6:59

it. So you're saying is you chose

7:01

your own pronouns. Here is an I

7:03

think even gonna. My maybe even

7:06

pick different pronoun same already getting nine only

7:08

know you're overthinking were over thinking we should

7:10

just read it and go with our that

7:12

like even picked the time I met the

7:14

time of a fucking clue I only something

7:16

so stupid as fuck those subjects and then.

7:18

When a camp money came in. Oh my god I'm

7:20

so on him and ninety one. Lemon the birthday

7:23

and I'm going after trying to remember February

7:25

nineteenth and not that I forgot his favourite

7:27

he defiantly were the exact i find that

7:29

were like for eleven years ago so it

7:31

was a home birth in an air B

7:34

B away. Anyway let's get to this should

7:36

we just read them either to the second

7:38

get even ends like swinging the pendulum so

7:40

far as like I fucking hate us and

7:43

then like while I'm so proud of you

7:45

Eva and then like let's fucking. Like you

7:47

didn't Loud and and scared of the same time

7:49

of the never gonna learn angry and pratt like

7:51

a bitter angry. At her but also proper which

7:53

is of weird combo like I've never really witness

7:56

this. Combo. To. Emotions in

7:58

excess of the same time. Or a. They

8:00

gutted or things ah ourselves or know

8:02

about it afterwards. I am impressed you

8:05

whether a lot of work but. Man

8:07

I am about to analyze the shit at.

8:09

A You and this is not how it plans

8:11

to allow. The. People who did some it's sorry them

8:13

were like this is fake. Even made

8:15

us. Government

8:18

embark on Is it real? It's allies.

8:22

A lot when. I forgot when

8:24

my heart. They. Are all three they do.

8:26

You have seen all three of them together

8:29

for got on there. Are

8:31

all lady and lights or is the

8:33

mail or I love that we get.

8:36

To see any I mean also figured out. A

8:39

southern Lebanon Also if there was to mysteries know

8:41

I fear that lives of the setup for I

8:43

already forgot he says about ghoulish hundred for a

8:46

person I can. I was afraid that maybe these

8:48

stories had nothing in common and and the story

8:50

you right gives them a seem like he knew

8:52

where the like and I were him and million

8:54

yeah I was. Yeah, I was the

8:56

the crux of at all. nor know,

8:58

maybe I. Am. Oh yeah, but you

9:01

have put my brain on a roller

9:03

coaster. Ah. Let's.

9:05

Go I guess. Getting.

9:07

Say. I. Think I'm going to

9:09

be able. To. Figure you out and I want to be

9:11

able to figure out how now he'll him as I

9:13

waited if I can't really nervous. Okay. Okay

9:16

last after we are you from Sasha I

9:18

will. The As and I have you know I was

9:21

along that yeah. Okay, Okay

9:24

I just forgot to ask for sound purposes

9:26

because I think you're not only com I

9:28

guess so okay and audible he gave i

9:30

was in a big apple and then at

9:32

the end will bring her back the reveal.

9:35

Saying throw your work even own way

9:37

How get all that loud and clear

9:40

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9:42

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12:40

am I guess? let's. Dive

12:43

into this nonsense. Yes,

12:46

Ah, I am excited Cheap. You know what?

12:48

I you know what it is about. This

12:50

is that I don't feel like a fool

12:52

yet. but I think this game will turn

12:54

me into a fool. On. April Fools

12:56

Day. And. I'm about to

12:58

become even more and if I have

13:00

a theme of the day as I

13:02

would devolve very quickly in this game.

13:06

The. This kind of like seal and

13:08

impending. So. Wished

13:11

foolishness. Foolery.

13:13

Yeah. Yeah, Okay gotcha. Like even said

13:15

happy April Fool's Day I'm going to

13:17

make you face your own foolery today.

13:20

and I'm going to. that's ah. Good

13:22

point. I'm gonna hold a mirror up

13:24

to you for once And and ah,

13:26

and it's deserved. How.

13:29

Dare you? Who. Has

13:31

time to ah a vulnerable

13:33

currently about the a some

13:35

loner built autumn butter butter

13:37

find out. Just. How foolish

13:39

I am A later be in

13:41

a fantasyland right? Don't actually know,

13:43

but. Today today the

13:46

truth comes out or the booze comes out

13:48

as a either has put us to title

13:50

of this game. So. Would.

13:52

You like to go first, Reject me to go first. Proceed. What

13:55

a why you go first. Okay,

13:58

I. Okay, Or

14:00

immediately what we would have at least picked

14:02

up on the same as the subject is

14:04

is the Lady and White My grandpa. And

14:08

the list. Of

14:10

Texas. Love that and

14:12

this is where immediately. My brain

14:14

starts over thinking. Everything because the

14:16

preferred name and pronouns are

14:18

America she has and that

14:20

name is just unique enough.

14:22

Where could be someone's actual name? or

14:24

even could be. Trying.

14:26

To intentionally set on think this is Eva. My

14:29

gut says no. My gut says America as a

14:31

real isner. Okay,

14:36

Okay of we just just so we

14:38

can Playful detective. I'm going to give you the

14:40

time stamps and everything. Okay,

14:43

subject line is the lady and white.

14:45

My grandpa. From Saturday March Second:

14:48

Twenty Twenty Four At Four Twenty

14:50

Four Lot of Twos and Four

14:52

Zero. see my even angel neighbor,

14:54

We could use that for our

14:56

thirty three them. Or

14:59

eleven, eleven, rightly? What Is it?

15:02

As Net or know that we that we as

15:04

in numerology was Net. It

15:07

has the thing is I think you know I think you

15:09

pick your i really think you have a personal. And on

15:11

unbridled the capacity with your birthday or anything I

15:13

just didn't know. Still have a has a specific

15:15

number like you have to, you know, Mean.

15:19

Yeah. This is three to two to

15:21

four four Tracy people are gonna scream

15:23

us this is like so unhinged for

15:25

running or enough. To imagine if we

15:27

do this every episode though. Oh My. God. We

15:30

know. Whatever. Listening, I know we spoke at Get

15:32

Fired. Your story.

15:35

Dear. G o loved ones. Nine

15:38

per. I

15:41

have about. A bajillion ghost.

15:43

Stories under My Belt either does have

15:45

a bajillion ghost stories and her an

15:47

email accounts. Case.

15:50

I have about a bajillion ghost stories under my

15:52

belt. too many to live. Comfortably. But here's

15:54

one that gave. Me some real heebie

15:56

jeebies. It's a bit of a two parter,

15:58

so buckle up and. Enjoy! This.

16:02

Happened a few years ago when I

16:04

was sixteen. One of my friends Celeste

16:06

invited me and my best friend Marley

16:08

to sleep over at her house. We

16:11

had had many a sleep over together,

16:13

but never at her house before. The

16:15

three of us had decided. To go for a

16:17

drive. So was me driving with the other. Two

16:20

girls sitting in the backseat. together. we

16:22

were about to head back to Celeste

16:24

House for, right? as we. Were

16:26

about to. Turn. Into

16:28

her driveway. We decided to do one

16:30

less loop around the block. As soon

16:32

as we started to turn onto the next

16:35

street, I heard my friends screaming from the

16:37

back. Marley started crying and saying she watched

16:39

as. Drive through some one. But. Celeste

16:41

said she saw a man standing on the

16:43

side. Of the road and just screamed because

16:46

Marley scared her. Upon

16:48

further questioning, I was told that there had

16:50

been a woman and a long old timey

16:52

wedding dress. Crossing the road and that I

16:54

had been is that I had driven

16:56

through her which I can imagine driving

16:59

through a person that look at will

17:01

break it down the okay. Of celestial

17:03

Me The man she saw was wearing a

17:05

suit and is hop hot and he was

17:07

just staring. At Us Love. Ah,

17:10

I hadn't seen either of them, so naturally

17:12

I drove back around down that same street

17:14

and ended up seeing the lady and white

17:16

sand the on the side of the road,

17:18

sort of halfway into the trees. It was

17:20

definitely eerie. but I hadn't just been told

17:22

I had. but I, if I hadn't has

17:24

been told essentially that I'd hit her with

17:26

my car. I would have thought it was

17:28

just a lady in a vintage stress walking

17:30

allow shit so than your friends like hey,

17:32

that's a lady Just drove through. One

17:36

of yeah, What's

17:39

weird is that not even a month

17:41

later I was hanging out with my

17:43

other friend Emily who lived as a

17:45

few streets over from Celeste little bit

17:47

I contacts here. Emily has always been

17:49

very in tune with spirits and can

17:51

tell you immediately for spirit is around

17:53

as well as if one is good

17:55

neanderthals actually to screams. i went over

17:57

this is the right I

18:00

was like, maybe they all do. Maybe. We

18:04

were driving back to her house, and I ended

18:06

up turning down that same street where I saw

18:08

the lady in white. I immediately felt my stomach

18:10

drop and came to a complete stop in the

18:12

middle of the road. Without thinking, I said, is

18:15

it safe? To which Emily said, no,

18:17

and burst into tears. Oh, god. When

18:21

I tell you I have never turned around a car

18:23

so fast in my life, as we

18:26

started speeding down a different road, I noticed

18:28

Emily kept looking behind us through the

18:30

back windshield. I turned to yell

18:32

at her to stop that, and that she was

18:34

scaring me when I realized she also had her

18:36

shoulders hunched all the way over around her ears,

18:39

like up to her ears. It

18:41

was easily the most terrified I've ever felt, and when

18:44

we got back to her house and

18:46

had laughed it off of that, she told me

18:48

she hadn't been turning around to look at the

18:50

road behind us. She was looking in the back

18:52

seat where she could feel

18:54

someone holding the back of her neck.

18:57

Oh! Oh,

19:00

no. Oh, no. It's

19:02

coming from inside the car. PS,

19:05

my grandpa always grabs the back of my

19:07

and my siblings next to mess with us,

19:10

hence the subject line. OK. Wow. OK, wow.

19:12

OK, I get it. Wait, so is there

19:14

no goodbye? Because I feel like we're going

19:16

to need every clue we can get. Bye-bye,

19:19

America. Bye-bye. OK, that's.

19:22

Bye-bye, America. OK. All

19:24

right, should we assess now, or should we continue

19:26

reading? We should

19:28

do a mini-assess. OK, mini-assess. It's

19:33

interesting that the names start with C, and

19:35

the other one has an E. Correct. There's also one.

19:37

The names got me, too. There's

19:40

also one whose name starts with M.

19:42

Marley, yep. C and M. And

19:44

not Celeste and Marley kind of seem like made-up

19:46

names. America is going to

19:48

be like, these are my friends, you assholes. America,

19:52

Celeste, and Marley is a

19:54

combination of names. You usually would

19:56

not hear together. I don't know why, but there's

19:58

got to be like a. There's gotta be a random

20:01

name in the middle of the front room. But then Emily,

20:03

I don't know if Eva would have thrown Emily in there.

20:05

That seems kind of like a... That

20:07

feels a little, a little, uh,

20:09

twist of the knife to me. Random name? Yeah,

20:11

I don't know. If it is Eva's story, I'm

20:13

gonna fire her, so good luck. You

20:16

know, and then go April Fool's or...

20:18

Excuse me? No. You

20:20

come back on April Fool's. What an evil game.

20:22

We can play Evil too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've

20:25

challenged the wrong, the wrong fools. Okay.

20:28

You know, I gotta, and I don't mean

20:30

this negatively, Eva, I mean

20:32

this with love, but I don't know if

20:34

a story you would conjure up could

20:37

be that scary. That was pretty damn scary.

20:39

You know, I... So yeah, you're right. That was pretty, like

20:41

the plot, but it is a plot twist and she is

20:43

a writer, so I'm like, maybe she... Yeah.

20:46

...was seeking a plot twist, you know? And

20:49

Eva is a smarty. It's

20:51

not that I don't think you couldn't. I'm just

20:53

thinking this story is particularly freaky, so like... Yeah,

20:55

I agree. I would have to be...

20:57

I would be... I

20:59

don't know. I don't know, Eva. Eva.

21:02

I don't know. All right. All

21:06

right. This subject is called Nobody

21:08

Believes Us, a story about ghosts

21:10

and disappearing houses. See, this might

21:13

be something. This is from Jesse,

21:15

he they, so a double pronoun.

21:18

Yeah, Eva knows I love a double pronoun. And Eva knows none

21:20

of those are her pronouns, so I don't know. I don't know.

21:23

Okay. We got Wednesday, September 20th, 2023 at

21:25

1 p.m. Part

21:30

of me is like, read the email. Read the email

21:32

address. Read the... I kind of want to, because it

21:34

is... It's

21:36

very specific. It is very specific. Oh, you see it?

21:39

Yeah. It's a very specific email. It

21:43

would take like a

21:45

lot of internet creativity

21:47

to come up with this email. It

21:49

feels like an email that was overthought if you're

21:51

coming up with a fake email. It also feels

21:54

like someone's just random real email, so it's hard

21:56

to tell. I know. I

21:58

know. Okay. Hi, guys. introduce me

22:00

to your podcast and like a sane person I

22:02

have been listening from the beginning. Thank you. I'm

22:05

about 80 episodes in and don't listen to anything

22:07

else and now we're just like are you fake?

22:09

Are you real? And he's like I just joined

22:11

I don't know what's happening. I'm about 80 episodes

22:13

in and I don't listen to anything else. Before

22:15

I get into my story I just want to

22:18

say even though I'm studying to be a pastor

22:20

I'm not a priest but I am writing this

22:22

from my office at the church which is also

22:24

haunted. Almost every morning when I come in the

22:26

lamp in the corner of my windowless office is

22:28

on as if someone left it on for me

22:31

so I don't have to enter a dark room.

22:33

That's nice. Now for my story when we

22:35

were younger my step-sister and I used to

22:37

like to go explore haunted places around Halloween

22:39

time. Usually it was just hanging out

22:41

in the country cemeteries around where we lived in

22:43

rural Wisconsin. Well one year we decided

22:45

to go to the abandoned Blackburn house we had heard

22:48

about that kids from the local high school used to

22:50

party in. We had heard that it

22:52

was full of antique furniture and it was like the

22:54

owners had just up and left. That sounds like a

22:56

slaughter pen right now. It literally sounds

22:58

like maybe Eva is... I don't know I

23:00

mean it's also kind of a... I

23:03

feel like that... It is a timeless tale. Yeah

23:05

right right like it's definitely a familiar tale. Like

23:09

the owners had just up and left leaving everything behind so

23:11

we drive out to this house way out in the middle

23:14

of nowhere and pull into the driveway. It was one of

23:16

those where it made a loop in front of the house

23:18

and there was a big oak tree with a circular bench

23:20

around it in the middle of the driveway. How charming. We

23:23

were sitting there in a car in the middle of the night

23:25

right outside the front door trying to convince ourselves that we should

23:27

get out of the car and go into the house. Neither

23:30

of us felt like we could open the doors. As

23:32

we sat there and we were looking into the woods

23:34

we could see little white lights moving around the trees.

23:37

It was late in the fall when we were out

23:39

there so it definitely wasn't fireflies. It was almost like

23:41

they were guarding the house. After probably

23:43

45 minutes we decided to leave.

23:46

As we pulled out of the driveway and started

23:48

down the road we passed by an old machine

23:50

shed where we both saw this huge blue ball

23:53

of light. I slammed on my brakes

23:55

and backed up so we could see what it was. No

23:57

matter how much we looked there was nothing in

23:59

there. that could have reflected that light back

24:01

to us. The shed was just full of

24:03

rusty farm machinery. Finally we

24:05

left and drove back into town and decided to

24:08

drive around the cemetery, you know, like any sane

24:10

person would do in the middle of the night. As

24:12

we drove around the cemetery we came to an intersection.

24:14

While we were deciding which direction to turn,

24:17

my stepsister looked out the passenger window and

24:19

the headstone that was directly next to my

24:21

car had the name Blackburn on it. It

24:24

was the guy who used to live in the

24:26

house we had just been to. Ew! Sorry, that's

24:28

freaky. We both looked at

24:31

each other, freaked out by the coincidence, then saw

24:33

this dark figure coming toward us down the road.

24:36

We started a book it toward the exit

24:38

and along the fence row we saw a

24:40

woman in a white Victorian dress walking alongside

24:42

us as if she was protecting us from

24:44

the dark figure. What

24:47

the f? Well fast forward

24:49

a couple of weeks my stepsister and I decided to

24:51

go back to the house during the day. We drove

24:53

all the way out there and found the driveway and

24:55

pulled in. What was weird is when we got to

24:57

the roundabout part of the driveway there

25:00

was no house there. Oh

25:02

hell yeah. What the fuck? Okay. We

25:06

got out and looked around to see if we

25:08

could figure out what happened, however there was no

25:10

trace that there had even been a house there

25:12

in years. It was just an empty space completely

25:14

grown over by prairie grasses. The

25:16

only thing that was there was a small hole

25:18

in the ground, a small square hole in the

25:20

ground, like an ox well. Nope, that's not what

25:23

that says. An old well that had been filled

25:25

in with rocks. Everything else, the

25:27

tree with the bench, the mailbox, the old

25:29

machine shed, that was all there just like

25:31

it was the night we went out there.

25:34

Okay that's really weird. That's

25:36

really freaky. It's like the ghost of the house

25:38

was there for you. Yes, yes

25:40

and I it's so freaky I wonder what

25:42

would have happened if they got out of

25:44

the car and like actually went in. Yeah,

25:46

yeah. That's like a goosebumps up so you get

25:48

trapped in the house. They disappear or something. Anyone

25:51

we tried to tell our story to refused to believe us and

25:53

says we just made the whole thing up. Others who have lived

25:56

in the area for most of their lives have said there has

25:58

not been a house there for as long as as they

26:00

could remember and that it had always been an empty

26:02

clearing in the woods. But we both saw the

26:04

house and know that it was there. Sorry

26:06

for the long email, but it seemed like it'd be a fun story for

26:08

you to do in a listener episode. Maybe you

26:10

won't believe us either, I promise we do, unless you're Eva, then

26:12

we don't. But

26:15

what if that's the twist this whole time? Nobody

26:18

believes me, well, we don't either. So it

26:23

would be a fun story for you to do. Maybe

26:25

you won't believe us either, but I have hope that

26:27

there's someone out there who will finally believe our story,

26:29

Jesse. For now, Jesse, I have to leave you until

26:31

I figure out confidently that it's you, Jesse, and not

26:34

Eva, then I'll leave you. Jesse,

26:36

the fact that you came here

26:38

seeking reassurance and we're saying, I don't

26:41

know if I want to give it to you,

26:43

is crazy. We don't know if you exist, which

26:45

is the wildest thing to say to somebody who

26:47

emails you. Are you

26:49

even a real person? I

26:51

will say when it comes to haunted houses in

26:53

that the house itself appears, because I've

26:55

heard stories like this before. And

26:58

some people have actually gone in, but

27:00

they find out later that they were

27:02

just walking around in an empty field. Some

27:05

neighbors are probably like, what the fuck?

27:07

They're like, they're like fully hallucinating. Touching

27:09

the walls. Climbing

27:11

up stairs that aren't there. Oh, God, yeah, that would be embarrassing.

27:16

Okay, so what are we thinking about this one? I

27:18

like this one a lot. I want to believe this is

27:20

real, because that is quite an incredible story. I

27:26

don't know. I love the

27:28

coincidence of the cemetery, the

27:30

gravestone being, it's almost like you

27:32

ended up at the gravestone. He was like, I'm right

27:34

here. And then you were drawn back to

27:36

the house to find out it wasn't really there. It feels

27:39

almost like there was a whole plot. I

27:43

don't know. What do you think?

27:45

Like a beginning, middle and end? I said that

27:47

out loud and went, wow, what a nice narrative

27:49

structure this has. You

27:51

know what's so sick about Eva is

27:54

that she reads- Yeah, go ahead. She

27:56

reads thousands. At

27:59

this point, she's read thousands. of listener

28:01

stories. And she knows what

28:03

the average writing would look

28:05

like. That's

28:08

the scary part. Of our listeners. She

28:10

could so camouflage herself. Yeah.

28:13

Because then part of me is like, oh, this just feels like a normal

28:15

story. But I'm like, that's exactly, that's like the

28:18

best disguise is to be, like don't they

28:20

say like even when you go like, like

28:23

into spy school or something, it's like keep your identity as close

28:25

to your real one. It's

28:27

like stick them close to the truth as you can. This

28:31

feels like just like a not, and

28:33

I don't mean to poo poo on the story. I'm not. I'm

28:36

just saying like in terms of writing, this feels like a

28:38

Joe Schmoe, like an average story. Like I'm just like, oh,

28:40

maybe like, it

28:42

could just be Eva just trying to like blend

28:44

in with everybody else. Because it's a good story,

28:47

but it's, I'm reading so

28:49

much into how it's written. And Eva, you have turned me into

28:52

a loony thing. I thought like

28:54

for some reason, Eva and I both thought you'd be

28:56

the same person in this. I

28:59

did too. Now I'm like, oh, Eva would

29:01

do that. But then what if

29:03

Eva thought I would caucus? That's usually my job

29:05

is to overanalyze and think and talk. And you're just

29:07

like taking on the duty for me. I love it. Well,

29:10

okay. Hopefully we,

29:14

even in the beginning with this, I just want to say even

29:16

though I'm saying to be a pastor, I'm not a priest. I

29:18

feel like there's like nods to like, maybe

29:20

like, yeah, but it's

29:22

also like, I'm a priest, you

29:24

know, I think that's probably why they said it. Shit.

29:28

Which is a joke from like so

29:30

long ago, you know? I don't know. Okay.

29:33

You read the next one because I'm going to lose my mind if we

29:35

don't know very soon. Okay. I

29:37

hope this one really clarifies, fills

29:39

it out for us. Okay.

29:42

Subject line. Return to sender. Florida

29:45

mail instead of Florida

29:47

man discovers local ghost

29:49

edition. Florida mail, like M-A-L-E,

29:51

mail? M-A-I-L. Oh,

29:54

that would have been funny. Oh, I thought you

29:56

meant mail instead of man. I was like, oh wait, hold on. Okay.

29:59

Sorry. time for my ears

30:02

return to sender Florida

30:04

mail man Florida mail man

30:12

discovers local ghost okay

30:16

from Lizzie ie Lizzie

30:18

and ie Lizzie who uses she

30:20

her pronouns and January

30:22

4th 2024 at 6 43 p.m. howdy lemons

30:29

personal attack

30:32

okay howdy lemons so let's

30:34

crack into it already using a

30:36

few too many things I think my

30:40

husband is a skeptic I feel your pain

30:42

y'all sorry blaze and alpau it's

30:45

super annoying because I've been able to

30:47

sense things from at least one of

30:49

the other side since I was little

30:51

I've even dragged him on ghost tours

30:53

in our area before and while I

30:55

was shivering from a ghostly cold and

30:58

feeling generally ill he was on his

31:00

plane looking up the local atmosphere pressure

31:03

huh he said he was on a

31:05

plane yeah I've

31:08

even dragged him on ghost tours and while

31:10

I was shivering from a ghostly cold and

31:12

feeling generally ill he was on he was

31:14

on he was on his phone

31:16

sorry did I say claim yeah that's

31:18

so stupid why did I do that okay I said he

31:21

was on a plane and he said yep and I said

31:23

wait what yeah my brain really fully ran with it okay

31:25

he was on his phone while I was

31:27

feeling cold and generally ill he was on

31:29

his phone looking at the local atmospheric pressure

31:31

and lunch spots to debunk what I was feeling

31:33

and weather as weather and

31:36

blood sugar which feels like something

31:38

blaze and Allison would do of

31:40

like oh it's just the

31:42

altitude you're very rude yes but

31:46

onto my story that I'm mostly stealing from my

31:48

husband because to be honest it's lost on him

31:51

we live in a very small town in

31:53

Central Florida so when I tell you my

31:55

husband as one of the as one of

31:58

only a handful of local pastel Oh

32:00

my god, why can't I read? She's fucked me

32:02

up! Eva! Okay, okay. I'm

32:05

like, I'm literally trying to literally read

32:08

every word while also reading into

32:10

every word. We'll read into it after, just read it.

32:14

Onto my story that I'm mostly stealing from my husband

32:17

because to be honest it's lost in him. We

32:19

live in a very small town in central

32:21

Florida, so when I tell you my husband

32:23

as one of only a handful of local

32:25

postal workers knows everyone, I mean he knows

32:27

everyone. I'm not using his name because I

32:30

love the town gossip and

32:32

I don't want to get him in trouble, but let's

32:34

just say the tea is piping, but

32:36

that's an anonymous story

32:38

for another time. Okay.

32:42

Anywho, I would always hear him complain about

32:44

this one house in particular, which it was

32:46

already weird that he didn't know anything about

32:48

the owners. He said it seemed abandoned, mail

32:50

would pile up, and he'd have to eventually

32:52

bring it all back to the post office

32:54

in chunks and fill out redeliver forms. Fun

32:59

fact though, what happens when your mail

33:01

person can't deliver to your mailbox anymore?

33:04

They fill out redeliver forms. This

33:06

feels like, okay, I

33:08

can't even do this. Don't even start. Well,

33:13

one day over dinner my husband

33:15

way too casually tells me that he

33:17

actually saw someone at the house today.

33:20

I'm like, tell me more, tell me

33:22

everything, and he still entirely too nonchalantly

33:24

says something to this effect.

33:28

I forget the exact wording because I immediately got

33:30

goosecam and yelled at him for not calling me

33:32

when it happened. He still

33:35

entirely too nonchalantly says, a

33:37

weird looking lady in an old

33:39

torn up white lacy gown was staring at me

33:41

from the window. Yeah,

33:44

that's something that you ponder.

33:46

You don't just pass, say I'm passing.

33:48

Yeah, a torn up white lacy

33:50

gown. Yeah, that's already a big red flag. He

33:53

said she watched him shove another batch of letters into

33:55

the mailbox, but when he backed up, she

33:57

was gone. So

34:01

obviously the next day my nosy ass just happened to be

34:03

in that part of town and literally how

34:05

had I never seen this house

34:07

before? I immediately knew which

34:09

house it was. So

34:12

she knows what house it is even though she's never been there.

34:16

Being small town Florida, most of the houses in

34:18

our area are cute one

34:20

stories, screened in porches, we've all

34:22

seen Golden Girls. Well

34:25

when I tell you that this house was straight witch

34:27

house vibes, it just adds

34:29

Spanish moss. I

34:32

could also immediately feel this was the

34:35

right house. Even more than

34:37

being out of place it just felt off if

34:39

you know what I mean. Kind of

34:41

a cross between the feeling of people you can't

34:43

see staring at you and that goose cami cold

34:45

feeling I get when I know

34:47

that there's some sort of spirit around. At

34:51

this point I was like okay great I'm

34:53

here now what? When all of a sudden

34:55

I saw her too, she was definitely straight

34:58

up a weird old woman in a torn

35:00

lacy gown but unless my husband forgot to

35:02

mention this part she

35:04

had her hand raised and was holding

35:06

what looked like a damn wax

35:08

sealed envelope towards me. Like

35:12

she can't get any of the mail her husband's

35:14

coming with but she can hold her own envelope

35:17

out to you. Like

35:19

maybe she's just been waiting to mail something

35:21

special out. Oh

35:23

thanks since you're here. Yeah. I

35:26

forgot to RSVP to this wedding in 1962. Can

35:29

you take this to me from me? I

35:32

was so shook that I noped out of

35:34

there so fast and I immediately called my

35:36

husband and of course he didn't believe that

35:38

she was a ghost and especially didn't believe

35:40

me about the dramatic way she was trying to hand

35:42

me a Victorian envelope as if I was a carrier

35:44

pigeon. And

35:48

listen this goes both ways because he

35:50

basically hung up on me for not

35:52

believing that he doesn't deliver wax sealed

35:54

envelopes to that house when he does

35:56

deliver mail there. Either

35:58

way I hope she's able to deliver her

36:01

message someday. I just don't really want to be

36:03

the person to do it. So that's my story.

36:05

You should have thought about that before you showed

36:07

up looking in the window and now you're

36:10

offering your services and it sounds like you got

36:12

to get your postal

36:14

bag and send that letter. So

36:17

that's the story of how my husband is a

36:19

skeptical Florida man who discovered a local

36:22

ghost. I hope you enjoy my little

36:24

local lady in white story as much as I

36:26

enjoy your podcast. I can't wait to see all

36:29

the next time you're in Florida from Lizzie Busy.

36:35

This one's Eva. This one's Eva. No

36:37

doubt. Yeah. Eva,

36:40

we got you. We nailed you. Is

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promos. Restrictions apply. I

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was trying to think about it. Halfway through

38:56

I think I've and also there's too many

38:58

there's too many nods about Eva's at

39:00

you got me okay

39:04

so we just basically shit all over the

39:06

first two stories okay here's what I'll say

39:08

Eva just if like what

39:10

we're giving them okay so first of all

39:12

em quick note you did not read all

39:14

the times Eva wrote hubs and other fun

39:16

things that like really would have added to

39:18

the flavor of the story because when I

39:20

saw hubs I was like Eva they're like

39:22

Eva wrote hubs to be really cutesy yeah

39:25

oh really I was like I

39:29

thought because I thought I mind was

39:31

that this was a Florida man story

39:33

nobody calls Allison Alpow yep that one

39:36

got me okay that is

39:39

not true so many so many

39:41

people call her Alpow truly oh

39:44

interesting I was like if I'm gonna reference

39:47

I gotta go all in so I did

39:49

like a ton of alright fair people do

39:51

but you're right you're right it

39:53

was the two it was the tip-off I think

39:55

and then comments there was

39:58

and then howdy lemons I was like like well immediately.

40:01

And then also the Golden Girls line. I don't know.

40:04

I just was like, this feels like Eva.

40:06

Really? Really? Yes. I just was like, not

40:08

that it feels like Eva. It feels like Eva trying

40:10

to be a list.

40:12

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I

40:15

also, the, you know, what was the,

40:17

was the, the real deal for me

40:19

was a goose cami. Yeah, that too.

40:22

Yeah. Oh my God. That's so

40:24

funny. Cause people, I thought I would get away

40:26

with the lemons and the goose cam. Cause honestly,

40:28

so many emails have those in there. Maybe I

40:30

just read too. Maybe reading too

40:32

many tripped me up. I think maybe you

40:35

put so much of the energy of the stories

40:38

in that like it ended up being like the,

40:40

the piece. Yeah. Like, like a combination

40:43

of all of the like fun little

40:45

kitschy stuff. I really enjoyed it though.

40:47

And I'm a little bit sad that

40:49

the Victorian ghost lady is not real,

40:51

but, um, you know what? I,

40:54

uh, cause

40:57

I feel like this was a, uh,

41:00

this was, uh, you had a whole plan

41:02

or a whole backstory is there. Did you

41:06

have what was in the envelope? What's the

41:08

story? Oh, so you

41:10

know what I did totally. So as I was writing it, I

41:12

was like, Oh, and it was

41:14

funny. I read it to Ray and she said,

41:16

too, she was like, how, what's her job? Like,

41:18

how old is she? And I was like, you

41:20

know, what's funny. I thought of her as older

41:22

and Ray was like, I know she is older.

41:24

I was like, how, we don't know. So

41:28

I don't know what is in the envelope,

41:30

but I knew that that I think I

41:32

put more thought into, um, Lizzie busy over

41:34

here. I thought you would get

41:37

back because the, like, I feel like you

41:39

do that with my name. Yeah. Okay. I

41:41

call you Eva Viva and I call myself

41:43

Christina Bina. And so Lizzie busy. I was

41:45

like, pretty spot on. I love that though.

41:47

I was like, that's actually very cute. I

41:50

will tell you as a reader to the

41:53

author, I like to think that the envelope

41:56

was to her own funeral. Oh,

41:59

what a fan. the invitation

42:01

to your funeral. A

42:03

wax seal, Ombluff, you get one

42:05

last letter to send to people. You better

42:07

make a gift. Do you send it? Don't other

42:10

people send it? Because you're dead. I'd

42:12

like to think that people would put the effort

42:14

into it with a wax seal. That's true. I

42:16

just think there was a point you have yours ready that's given to

42:18

me. I'll mail them for you. Yeah.

42:21

Yeah. Eva, that

42:23

was such a good story. Yay! Oh,

42:26

I'm so glad. It was really fun to

42:28

do. How long did it take you to

42:30

write that? Also, were there Easter eggs in

42:32

the time or anything, or did you just kind of guess? No,

42:35

I tried to make the time really, since the

42:37

other one, the pastor one,

42:39

was really like 1 p.m. on the

42:41

dot. I was like, oh, I think I need to

42:43

make this one just a random time. But I did

42:45

look up to see if January

42:48

4th was a Thursday. Oh, good.

42:50

Oh, that's a Christina move. But

42:53

when you said you put a lot of thought into that, I was like,

42:55

I'm not going to catch her on that. She's

42:58

too smart for that. That's

43:00

smart, though. I wouldn't have even thought about that.

43:02

But that's such a I have to catch Christina

43:04

in the act move. No, I literally

43:06

that's like the only thing I was thinking. And

43:08

I even wrote it all out. I like put

43:10

them all in another doc and I wrote it.

43:13

And then I copy pasted the whole thing. Because I was

43:15

like, technically, you could have just gone back through the edits.

43:18

And then you would see me editing. That's

43:20

so smart, Eva. If

43:22

I had. And it was the fact that well, I

43:25

thought you would do it. I was like, I

43:27

Christina is so good at that shit. If I wasn't

43:29

so sure if I had more time and it

43:31

wasn't on the show, I probably would have just like

43:33

to double check my work. I

43:35

would have gone and checked. But yeah, so

43:37

smart. I

43:41

feel like I just lived in chaos for the last

43:43

45 minutes. But I can't

43:45

imagine the chaos your brain went through right

43:48

in this to perfect it. So yeah,

43:50

I got on you. It was it was a

43:53

lot. And I did overthink it quite a bit.

43:55

I'm glad that I got to throw

43:57

you into some foolish. And I also want to add

43:59

if we. did not know that you had submitted

44:01

one of these I never would have questioned any of it like

44:03

I just would have known they're all just to be clear like

44:05

we were off the lookout for

44:07

any sort of but yeah had just sent

44:10

this I would have been like oh it's

44:12

just another submission it did not well I

44:14

did try to think

44:20

I was like should I tell them that I

44:22

wrote it specifically or should I just say that

44:24

someone in the because originally I was like oh

44:27

it became too big but I was like

44:29

should I have like should I have like

44:31

listen right one and submit

44:39

it please I was gonna go behind your back to

44:41

your partner I would have loved

44:44

next order can we do that cuz that would

44:46

be really fun yeah maybe an extra um I

44:49

gotta give you props on that was a

44:51

joke that made us laugh Christine oh

44:53

that you were

44:55

that she was handing you a Victorian envelope like

44:58

a carrier that was good really

45:00

good thank you I luckily we

45:02

were not the fools this time I

45:09

feel like this is this might not

45:11

be the last time that you give us a silly little

45:13

challenge and I will probably feel

45:16

and America and who

45:18

is the other person Jesse I'm so

45:21

sorry that we just accused you of

45:23

being fake people this full-time and your

45:25

stories are very creepy and especially when

45:27

Jesse's like please believe me

45:29

like I know prove yourself but

45:32

now Jesse I absolutely fucking believe you

45:34

because I have heard about disappearing houses

45:36

and it's one of the freakiest things I've

45:38

ever heard see I thought

45:40

for sure Jesse was going to be the I

45:43

thought you were gonna be Jesse cuz I was like it's too

45:45

obvious to put yourself at the end but then I

45:47

was like but then what if you double think it

45:49

and then you definitely be yourself at the end that's

45:51

what I did that was like gotta put that in

45:53

there and I thought you might say that's why I

45:55

picked will also accept sorry was very scary but I

45:58

also was like pastor like there

46:00

were a couple little nods in there that I was

46:02

like this feels like it could throw them off a

46:04

little bit and it Says please believe me and

46:06

I'm like begging So

46:13

if you if you needed that validation I have it

46:15

for you here I do believe you now that I know

46:17

you're not Eva in disguise But

46:20

good job You

46:24

did a very good job That'd

46:26

be fun that was a fun

46:29

idea I never even occurred to me that

46:32

All but but I can assure you we

46:34

both were It's

46:41

kind of like being on tour I can

46:43

have fun while paying right also so that's

46:45

what was going on beautiful paradigm I love

46:47

that in Paradox. Yeah,

46:49

that's what Eva likes to put me in all the time

46:56

Well, thank you to Eva and

46:59

I hope everyone has a good April

47:01

fool's day and month of April If

47:04

anyone tries to fool you You

47:06

know, I'll maybe write about it or you're not

47:09

alone. That's a good way to put it because

47:11

we are obviously Look

47:13

out ourselves. So we're patient zero.

47:16

Thanks Eva on that. So Anyway,

47:20

thank you if you would like to submit future

47:22

stories you can to our website and that's right

47:24

drink calm and

47:27

Happy April. Happy April. We love you and

47:32

Eva Eva We

47:37

Eva go ahead This

47:46

is a big year the Ohio

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Lottery's golden anniversary 50

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years of excitement of growing jackpot

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and crossed fingers 50 years of

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and brighten days 50

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years of fun and that is worth

48:03

celebrating. So watch for

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