1:59

well-being as a human family.

2:02

Many of our listeners

2:04

are feeling completely fried

2:07

right now. Yeah.

2:09

And no surprise, right?

2:11

It's just been a really interesting

2:14

ride these last couple of years. What

2:16

I'd like to do is begin by having

2:18

a conversation about how

2:21

we can comfort our nervous

2:23

systems. That is the pivotal

2:25

question, isn't it? And

2:28

one so many of us are asking ourselves,

2:30

and I think many among

2:33

us already went

2:35

into the pandemic

2:39

taxed by this

2:41

culture of stress and toxic

2:44

overdoing and proving

2:46

and striving and comparing

2:49

and competing. And then

2:52

we went into,

2:55

it's been now, we're going on the third

2:57

year of uncertainty and

2:59

loss and

3:02

grief and fear that's

3:05

gone hand-in-hand with the

3:08

pandemic. And

3:10

so the cumulative impact

3:12

on our mind-body system

3:15

has been debilitating

3:17

for many. So

3:20

finding a way towards

3:24

soothing our nervous system is really

3:26

critical,

3:26

is key. And

3:28

it comes back to practices

3:31

that

3:31

are going to

3:34

support the parasympathetic nervous

3:36

system, that calming response in the body,

3:38

decreasing our fight-or-flight. So

3:40

I'm

3:41

happy to unpack some of those.

3:44

The goal here is to help as many

3:46

as we can self-heal

3:48

and consciously

3:51

create a life they love so that even

3:53

when things are tough, when things

3:55

are pulling at us in so

3:58

many different directions, we still

4:00

know how to soothe ourselves

4:02

and how to get to that balance point that

4:06

allows for so much more than

4:08

the pain and suffering. I think

4:10

that the best starting point and

4:13

one of the most potent healing

4:15

mechanisms that we have is our breath

4:18

and we take 20,000 breaths a day

4:21

and that's 20,000 invitations to soothe ourselves.

4:28

So just taking a pause

4:31

and coming home to the sensation

4:33

of our breath, taking a low and slow

4:35

breath and extending the exhale

4:40

leads to a cascade of

4:44

neurochemicals being released from

4:46

our brain system calming

4:48

neurochemicals sending

4:50

the message to our body

4:53

that we're safe. So

4:56

and it's so simple and it's free

4:58

and it's available to us anywhere and anytime.

5:02

When I talk with people who

5:04

are really struggling with anxiety, breath

5:07

work is key to soothing.

5:10

Yes, yes we often recognize

5:13

that and

5:14

share the long exhale which is what I think

5:16

you're talking about. Mm-hmm

5:17

the long exhale

5:21

four four six two breathing so

5:23

breathing in for four holding for four

5:26

exhaling for six holding for

5:28

two

5:30

vu

5:31

breathing or vu chanting is

5:34

extraordinary for toning

5:36

the vagal nerve which

5:39

is that nerve

5:41

system that connects body and

5:43

mind.

5:44

Let's do that.

5:46

Vu chanting? Yeah. Beautiful.

5:49

Okay so I like to place

5:51

a hand on the heart and a hand at the belly

5:54

whatever

5:54

is comfortable and

5:55

just taking

5:58

a moment where you are.

6:01

Closing the eyes if

6:03

that works for you, if not just

6:06

resting the gaze lightly in front of you.

6:09

Really taking a moment to

6:12

settle into the body. And

6:15

when you're ready, taking a low and

6:17

slow breath in. And

6:20

at the exhale, a long,

6:23

low voo sound.

6:25

Voo. Feeling

6:34

the vibration through the body, another inhale.

6:37

And again.

6:39

Voo. Inhale. Inhale. Sending

6:51

that vibration all the way down

6:53

into the lower area of the

6:55

body.

7:02

Voo.

7:06

Wow.

7:08

I can see how doing that for several

7:10

rounds of your breath could really bring

7:12

you into a sweet spot.

7:15

The vibration tones that

7:19

vagal nerve system and sends

7:22

a healing, soothing

7:23

current throughout

7:26

your whole body.

7:28

Releasing,

7:31

relaxing neurochemicals, and

7:34

really rooting you in the body. Really

7:37

takes us out of the body. And

7:39

that voo technique allows

7:42

us to kind of break up and metabolize

7:44

the density of

7:47

all that we're carrying. And

7:49

what was cool about it too is even though I wasn't

7:51

making the sound because I didn't want to

7:54

confuse the recording, I just wanted to hear

7:56

your voice, I was still

7:58

getting

7:59

the benefit of that.

7:59

it from

8:00

what you were doing.

8:02

Just being a part of it and being involved

8:04

in it. I love it.

8:05

Beautiful. Well, we match,

8:08

right? We co-create our

8:10

lived experience. And so

8:12

when you're with someone

8:15

who is calming

8:17

their limbic system, then

8:20

you benefit from that

8:23

yourself.

8:24

And it's fun too. You

8:27

know, you can lighten up a little bit and be like, yeah,

8:29

I'm doing some voo chanting right now.

8:32

And that

8:33

leads right into this next

8:35

question that I have is, what do you

8:37

recommend that

8:39

we do to better

8:41

empower ourselves during this wild

8:44

ride on planet Earth and to

8:46

lighten up a little bit so that we can

8:48

feel that

8:49

we're standing in our power a bit more than

8:52

we might feel we

8:54

are right now?

8:56

I think that one of the

8:58

things most of us are struggling with are

9:00

really the basics, the foundational

9:03

elements of our wellbeing.

9:05

And so many people that I speak with

9:07

now are struggling with

9:10

sleep disorders, sleep disruption,

9:13

turning to substances.

9:15

And oftentimes that means an

9:17

increase in alcohol intake

9:20

or caffeine or sugar. And so

9:22

one of the places that I start is really

9:24

just doing an audit of what are

9:26

my habits? What are the maladaptive

9:29

coping mechanisms that I'm leaning into?

9:31

And where can I start

9:34

to shift my daily

9:36

practices so that I'm

9:38

supporting myself better? Just

9:40

starting where you are. And

9:43

if you're able to mini minimize

9:47

stimulants like sugar and

9:49

caffeine and alcohol, that's

9:52

a beautiful way to support your body

9:54

right now. If you're able to

9:57

focus on your sleep

9:59

hygiene. and put technology

10:02

away a little bit earlier in the day

10:05

and practice soothing

10:08

tools like meditation and

10:10

imagery or

10:12

a little bit of gentle movement in yoga

10:14

before you go to bed, that may

10:17

be the place to start for you. And

10:19

so the answer is different for everybody.

10:22

And your solution to

10:25

supporting

10:27

your highest well-being is as unique

10:29

as you are.

10:31

But if we just simply take a pause

10:34

and ask ourselves,

10:36

what do I most need in

10:38

this moment? The

10:40

answer has come because

10:42

we have an inner wisdom and inner

10:44

knowing that is so vast.

10:47

It just takes two wings,

10:49

awareness and compassion.

10:52

Oh, I love that so much.

10:54

One of my practices during the winter

10:57

months is hot salt baths

11:00

on special nights, oil massage

11:02

before the

11:04

hot salt bath and just being

11:06

extra sweet to my body

11:09

and thanking her for being so

11:12

strong and flexible

11:14

and

11:15

willing to put up with many of my shenanigans,

11:18

forming a

11:19

just a sweeter relationship, I guess, with

11:22

my body. And it's made such a big difference.

11:24

Just recently, I

11:27

decided that I didn't need

11:29

to have coffee anymore. And I

11:31

wasn't a big coffee drinker, Michelle,

11:33

but I would start the day with a cup

11:35

of coffee. And I started messing around

11:38

it, you

11:38

know, make healthier creamers, like

11:40

do these things so I wasn't having sugar

11:43

in my coffee. And I just finally was like, just

11:46

enough. My body doesn't want coffee anymore.

11:48

I've switched berries easily over

11:51

to some wonderful black

11:53

tea to

11:55

make a change. I still get a little bit of caffeine.

11:58

I'm enjoying the taste. I know it's better

12:00

for my body and

12:02

I'm already a tea drinker. Anyway,

12:04

I just normally don't drink black tea.

12:06

I thought, well, that's a nice way to shift. I

12:09

bring it up because it's just a little

12:11

shift.

12:12

That's another sweet

12:15

choice that I'm making for myself.

12:17

They all add up.

12:19

They all add up. It's these sort of micro

12:22

moments that really create

12:24

the building blocks of our life. And so

12:27

there was an inner question that you asked

12:29

that was so, important.

12:31

Does this serve me? And

12:34

when you ask that question, the answer

12:36

emerged so beautifully and it

12:39

didn't align with your intention towards

12:44

developing that sweet relationship

12:47

with your body that you're, that

12:49

you're talking about. Yeah. And the more

12:51

we listen,

12:53

the more the floodgates open with new

12:56

information and

12:57

it's okay to leave if

13:00

it's, if it's not, and I want to say this, it's

13:03

really important because

13:04

sometimes we can

13:06

listen and listen and listen to be like, but

13:08

I'm not hearing anything. You know, nothing's coming

13:10

up for me. What's going on? I'm really

13:13

trying to be mindful. It just takes

13:15

practice.

13:17

And often it is just, it's

13:19

just a whisper. It's just that feather

13:21

touch that if we, that

13:24

if we pay attention to that, it's one

13:26

little change. It's the tea, it's the massage,

13:28

it's the putting the screens down

13:30

a little bit earlier. It's please

13:34

giving yourself a break from the media

13:36

and all forms,

13:39

all of these choices that we can make

13:41

to empower ourselves and to feel that much

13:43

stronger because

13:46

we are listening to ourselves and

13:48

we're not letting

13:49

anyone else live

13:51

in our heads. If we're taking a break

13:53

from all of this,

13:56

what could be

13:58

described as media. or

14:00

the duality

14:02

that we're seeing so in our face.

14:06

When we get still enough long enough,

14:08

we begin to really hear our own

14:10

inner voice. And there is a lot

14:13

of noise interfering with our

14:15

ability to hear

14:18

the true South. And

14:20

when we turn inward,

14:22

you know, do that kind of work

14:25

or create openings to really listen

14:27

in. If we're not hearing,

14:30

you know, as you say, the

14:33

answer, that guiding voice, that's great

14:36

information too.

14:37

Just to take a moment to acknowledge

14:40

that, okay, it's feeling fuzzy right

14:42

now.

14:43

I'm feeling confused. I'm feeling

14:45

a lack of ability to

14:47

really hear myself,

14:49

to compassionately open

14:52

and accept that state is

14:56

such a kind

14:58

and friendly act. Because

15:01

so often we believe that our

15:03

growth should

15:07

look a certain way.

15:09

So often we're in the not

15:11

knowing. So to forgive

15:13

ourselves and to be kind to ourselves while

15:16

we're in the not knowing

15:19

is so important.

15:21

One thing I know for sure with all

15:23

of the women I've worked with over the years, and

15:26

with all of the

15:27

people who are a part of the anxiety slayer

15:30

community and the sacred life,

15:32

we're just so freaking hard

15:34

on ourselves. It's just

15:37

the beatings will continue until morale

15:39

improves type behavior.

15:41

We deserve

15:43

better. And these practices,

15:46

whether it be chanting or breathing or

15:48

meditating or yoga or getting

15:50

out in nature or doing that one sweet

15:53

thing before your bath or in the bath, et

15:55

cetera, gets you much closer

15:58

to that.

15:59

Oh.

15:59

I can be compassionately

16:02

aware. I can be kind.

16:05

I don't have to be impatient with myself.

16:07

I can exhale.

16:11

I think that self-compassion is something

16:14

that almost everyone

16:17

struggles with. And

16:19

it's such an expression of

16:22

our cultural system that

16:24

focuses on the external,

16:27

that tells us that we need

16:28

to be more, do more, add

16:31

more.

16:32

When we hit that realization

16:35

of, okay, wow,

16:38

I can just be still. I can just be

16:41

in the truth of who I am right now. And

16:44

I am already whole. I was born

16:46

whole. Nothing

16:47

that anyone tells me or

16:50

nothing

16:52

that happens to me is going to change that.

16:54

That is

16:57

a powerful opening. On

17:00

your website,

17:01

you have a paragraph that I was really

17:03

moved by that says,

17:05

we want less chaos and more

17:07

tenderness.

17:08

We yearn for a more compassionate relationship

17:11

with ourselves, our partners,

17:13

and especially our children. But

17:15

in the pressure to be all things, to

17:17

all people, our endurance and strength

17:20

is slowly depleted. At times

17:22

we feel devoured by the unconscious

17:25

expectations coming at us at

17:27

every turn.

17:29

That

17:30

just encapsulates what so many

17:33

of us

17:35

are feeling and why it's so incredibly

17:37

important

17:39

to read a book like When Women Rise,

17:42

to listen to

17:44

your meditations, to

17:46

show up for the podcasts and

17:49

the choices that support us, and to also

17:51

just

17:53

let it all be.

17:55

Get on the floor and rest in Shavasana

17:57

for a while.

17:59

hardest thing to do. Yesterday

18:03

when I was practicing, I

18:04

was laying down and I

18:07

was in that really, that really

18:09

monkey mind space of, oh, you

18:11

know, this is good that you're doing this.

18:14

But really, what you need to be, and

18:17

I just started to laugh at myself and sink in

18:19

a little bit

18:20

deeper. And my practice didn't last

18:22

as long, but

18:24

it did happen. And I laughed about

18:26

it and we'll return again,

18:29

as we do without

18:31

that judgment and shame and

18:34

all of that. But knowing that, Hey, you know what?

18:36

Resting in Shavasana for 10 minutes

18:39

and doing a gentle yoga practice.

18:41

That's a good day.

18:44

And that's you showing up for yourself. Yeah.

18:46

In such a beautiful way for

18:49

all of it in our practices meant to show

18:51

us what's there. And if that's monkey mind,

18:54

you want to see that you won't, you know,

18:57

that's the gateway

19:00

to be able to just observe

19:02

what's happening in the moment, knowing

19:05

that

19:07

that state

19:09

has a beginning and a middle and an

19:11

end. And as you observe it and compassionately

19:14

and just bear witness to your felt

19:17

experience with non-judgment,

19:19

not wishing it away, not

19:22

grasping onto pleasant experiences

19:25

or pushing away negative experiences, we see

19:27

that it's just all part

19:30

of the sea of our experience. And

19:32

so for that moment, it was discomfort.

19:34

Okay.

19:37

Yeah. Yeah.

19:39

Yeah. I love being able to just be like,

19:42

Oh,

19:43

the awareness of the awareness, right? Just

19:46

like, Oh, isn't that interesting? Well,

19:48

let's see. Let's see what we can do.

19:51

And that's such an awakening, that moment of

19:53

realization that you can see, Oh, okay,

19:56

wait a minute. It's not also solid.

19:59

Those thoughts are

20:01

a part of my experiences, but they are

20:03

not me.

20:05

I am the observer. I

20:07

am the big S self

20:09

observing those

20:11

thought forms. And so maybe

20:14

I don't have to take it quite so seriously.

20:16

Maybe I don't have to add

20:19

more to the story. I mean,

20:21

for a broad call that, you know, the second

20:23

arrow, the first arrow is the

20:25

pain of the experience. The second arrow

20:28

is the way that we judge ourselves for it or

20:30

add more to the story. Yes.

20:32

Yes, yes, yes.

20:34

One of the things that I would love to

20:36

invite you to do if you're available

20:39

for it is to walk us

20:41

through your return to

20:43

calm meditation that is inspired

20:45

by the autogenic training that you

20:48

share in your book. Oh,

20:50

yes. Let's do it. Let's

20:53

let's enter into practice together.

21:02

Just allowing the eyelids

21:04

to gently close

21:06

and the body to become still

21:08

and

21:08

bringing your

21:10

attention to the rhythm of the breath as

21:13

you breathe through the nose, if that's

21:15

available to you.

21:19

You might imagine letting the breath

21:22

trace the path of a rolling

21:25

hill rising

21:28

on the in-breath and

21:31

falling on the out-breath.

21:38

And gently slowing the breath,

21:46

rising for the count

21:48

of one, two, three,

21:53

four, five, and

21:56

falling.

21:58

Five, four. Letting

22:12

the breath restore

22:14

you to the peace of this moment.

22:20

You might whisper inwardly,

22:25

I am here and

22:28

I am calm.

22:36

Letting the body feel the earth cradling

22:39

it with unwavering

22:40

care as you release

22:43

the hold of the day.

22:49

And may you find yourself in

22:51

a moment of rest. Noticing

23:00

now the sensations at the arms.

23:02

Arms

23:07

heavy. The left arm is heavy. The

23:16

right arm is heavy. Both

23:22

arms are heavy.

23:29

Repeating these words

23:31

inwardly.

23:34

I am here and

23:38

I am calm.

23:47

Bringing

23:48

full attention now to the legs.

23:54

Noticing the sensations

23:57

there.

24:03

And the legs too begin to find

24:05

stillness. Legs

24:11

are heavy. And

24:16

the left leg is heavy. The

24:20

right leg is heavy. Both

24:26

of the legs are heavy. And

24:34

repeating these words again, I

24:40

am here and

24:44

I am calm.

24:53

Let the mind dream

24:55

of sun and

24:57

sand in

25:00

the healing wound running

25:04

its current through your time. And

25:10

the heart

25:10

tracing a path

25:12

to the hands, blowing

25:15

life

25:17

like a wise woman's breath

25:20

on frosty finger.

25:27

And notice the sensations

25:29

at the hands.

25:35

The hands are warm.

25:39

The left hand is warm. The

25:44

right hand is warm. Both

25:49

hands are warm.

25:54

Repeating these words,

25:58

I am here.

26:00

And I am calm.

26:07

With each inhale and exhale,

26:09

you're soothed and restored

26:13

and warmed to your bone.

26:18

Like campfire sticks,

26:20

the wise woman rubs her

26:22

hands together and places

26:25

them

26:25

against your icy feet. Her

26:31

body keeps your. Bringing

26:38

attention to the feet

26:39

and noticing any

26:42

sensations there.

26:46

Anything that is there to be

26:48

found. Feet

26:53

are warm. The

26:57

left foot is warm.

27:00

The right foot is warm.

27:04

Both feet are warm.

27:09

Repeating these words,

27:12

I am here.

27:14

And I am calm. The

27:22

abdomen rises

27:25

and falls. It swells

27:27

and recedes. Soothed

27:31

in the intimacy

27:35

of this time.

27:39

The forehead cools.

27:43

And the mind sees.

27:48

You might place the hand at the heart

27:50

center. Heart

27:54

beats steady.

27:57

Body warm and heavy.

28:02

Repeating these words,

28:06

I am here and

28:09

I am calm and

28:13

may it always be so.

28:20

We notice

28:27

and be.

28:40

That was so beautiful.

28:45

Thank you for sharing. What

28:50

are you noticing, Shan, within

28:52

yourself as you connect

28:55

in?

28:56

I have this

28:59

warm center

29:01

of the sun, like Kazimi

29:03

feeling in my body. I'm

29:06

just nice and warm

29:08

and relaxed.

29:10

When our nervous system is

29:13

struggling, the blood

29:15

flows to our core

29:17

as

29:18

a way to, as part

29:20

of our survival response. So

29:23

with the autogenic training,

29:25

not only is it deeply

29:26

self honoring, as you described

29:29

in your own

29:29

experience,

29:31

but it also supports our body

29:33

in a very physical

29:35

way. There's a lot

29:38

happening as you work with that.

29:41

And it

29:42

doesn't take that much time. We

29:45

all have this

29:46

time to carve

29:48

out and give this gift to ourselves. It might

29:51

not feel like it.

29:53

I'm here to invite you to claim it

29:55

because it's yours.

29:58

John Cabat Sin.

30:01

has been known to say, meditate

30:06

as though your life depends on it because

30:08

it does.

30:10

And

30:12

I would add all of these healing

30:15

practices to that statement. Yes,

30:18

yes,

30:18

absolutely.

30:20

Before we part

30:22

ways today, what

30:24

would you like to leave us with? You have

30:27

so many gifts to share, I know. So

30:29

finding the one to leave us

30:32

with. What comes up for you?

30:35

In my heart space,

30:38

what comes up time and again

30:41

is a great desire

30:45

for us all to come home

30:48

to our own hearts and know

30:50

that we have just

30:51

such a great capacity

30:54

to

30:54

self heal.

30:56

I really want everyone to know that you're

30:59

already there. You're

31:01

already perfect. You're already whole. That

31:04

your soul essence

31:06

shines beautifully.

31:09

That the condition of this lifetime

31:12

means that we add many layers that

31:15

separates us from that truth.

31:18

But as you lean into and

31:20

cultivate these practices,

31:23

which are really a

31:24

homecoming,

31:27

we begin to

31:29

come home to that truth

31:32

in the most beautiful way.

31:34

So that's my invitation.

31:37

So many of us

31:40

forget that

31:40

we are absolutely

31:45

perfect just as we are.

31:48

Right now.

31:50

Right here, right

31:51

now. Right here and right now.

31:57

What a pleasure to spend time with you

31:59

today.

32:00

For me as well, I feel this

32:03

healing current and transmission

32:05

coming through us and we are

32:09

beautifully supported. I'm just

32:11

so grateful to be with you and with

32:13

your listeners.

32:14

Thank you so much, Michelle.

32:19

That was Dr. Michelle Kambolis.

32:21

Get a copy of When Women Rise at michellekambolis.com

32:26

or wherever books are sold.

32:29

Thanks for listening to Anxiety Slayer.