0:00

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm

0:02

Dax Shepard, I'm joined by Monica Padman.

0:04

That's us. How you doing? Pretty

0:07

good, my ear reeks. You're in it a

0:09

lot. I've been watching you dig in it with your pinky.

0:11

I know, I feel like there's bugs that went in there.

0:14

God, this reminds me of my favorite thing I

0:16

think I've told you in the past, and weirdly

0:18

this, yes, this is the perfect

0:20

time to say this. Okay. Because Bobby Lee lets

0:22

it all hang out. Yeah, he does. So

0:25

Brie was in Guatemala, you know about this,

0:28

and she had a crazy ear infection, and

0:31

then she ultimately finally went to the doctor,

0:33

and the doctor pulled out the

0:36

most beautiful object I've

0:39

ever seen in my life. It was like, if you

0:41

can imagine when they cut off a pretty huge

0:44

hunk of hard cheese, like out of a

0:46

cheese wheel, it was

0:48

like, it was big, and it

0:50

was cobalt blue. It

0:53

was impossibly blue. No, it

0:55

was just, it was gorgeous. Look at her

0:57

faces on that quilt. It was that color.

0:59

It did not look like a color a

1:01

human being could create. Do you think it

1:04

was something got in there? Like maybe that

1:06

was a rock that got in her ear.

1:08

Or a pen. Right. It

1:11

looks so unhuman, but it

1:13

was undeniably beautiful. It looked

1:15

like a crazy jewel had been. Did she

1:17

keep it? Yeah, so she came home with

1:19

this plastic cylinder, and we would just

1:21

lay in bed and stare at the thing, and hold

1:23

it up to the light. In fact, I

1:25

have half a mind to ask her if she still has it. She

1:27

should. What treasure? That is a

1:30

treasure. Oh my God. A life's treasure.

1:32

Okay, listen, I had so much fun

1:34

in this fucking interview. I mean, this

1:36

really was so much fun. It was.

1:39

I love Bobby Lee. He is

1:41

so funny and honest. Really funny.

1:43

And wonderful. And cheers to Robbie

1:46

Rob, Wobby Wob, who has been for

1:48

a long time saying like, you gotta get Bobby in,

1:50

he's so great. And we finally did, and I'm so

1:52

glad. Bobby Lee was on Mad

1:54

TV for years. He was in

1:56

Borderlands, The Dictator, Pineapple Express, and

1:59

he has two very, very, popular and successful

2:01

podcasts, both Tiger Belly and

2:03

Bad Friends. And alas,

2:05

he is here today to talk about his

2:07

new movie, Sweet Dreams. So guys,

2:10

just really hop in a lawn chair

2:12

and pour some sun tea because this

2:14

is a real party. Please enjoy Bobby

2:16

Lee. We are supported

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by Squarespace. Guys, we

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DAX. We are supported

3:06

by Taco Bell.

3:08

Oh man, we often do

3:11

two recordings a day and we have

3:13

this little nice lunch break that we

3:15

enjoy and we're always craving something really

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yummy. Yes, something fresh, something

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high-quality, something like the all-new

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Mmm, it's so yummy.

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It has slow roasted chicken,

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new Cantina Chicken Menu at

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Taco Bell now. Hey,

4:04

if you guys don't mind, I'm gonna do some tobacco

4:06

for my gums, because my gums get sick. Okay.

4:09

Yeah, they get really achy, so I need

4:12

tobacco for them. I had the same ailment

4:14

on my gums up until January 1st. Oh,

4:16

really? Yeah, I'm 100 days

4:18

off. But can I just say something? Your gums

4:20

seem like it's missing the stuff. They

4:23

look unhealthy, don't they? You were offered all the

4:25

things? I mean, this guy I've known for so

4:27

long. I don't trust him. Can

4:30

I do this like this? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean,

4:32

I was supposed to say that. Oh, criss-cross applesauce. Criss-cross

4:34

applesauce. Is it bad Indian style? What

4:36

does that mean? We're just sitting. Well, that's

4:38

what's interesting. It begs the question, are they

4:40

referring to Native Americans or people from India?

4:42

It makes the most sense, people from India.

4:44

And then I don't know why that's offensive.

4:46

Have they invented that style of sitting? I

4:48

don't think they invented it. Exactly. I

4:51

don't think they invented it. So it's, I guess,

4:53

probably relating to how they sit for prayer. But

4:55

you know how people do this? This is not China style, is

4:57

it? Yeah, I don't know. Really? Oh,

5:00

maybe. Well, look, this is known

5:02

in social sciences. The reason Asians are so

5:04

good at math is because of rice production,

5:06

because there's so much math in rice production.

5:08

Are you being real right now? I'm being

5:10

dead real. Just like Westerners brains evolved because

5:12

they learned to read from Martin Luther's Spreading

5:15

Literacy, their brain physically changed. So there is

5:17

lots of science behind the math in the

5:19

rice production because there's so much math in

5:21

it. You know, could I just say something,

5:23

Dax? Before you

5:25

podcasted, I thought, you're a good actor. He's a

5:28

funny guy. You started this and I was just like,

5:30

oh, my God, he's smart, too. And

5:32

it drives me crazy. Oh, you

5:35

do all of it. Anyway, I've always wanted to

5:37

do this. I'm so glad I'm here. And Monica, it

5:39

was really good to meet you. And thank you

5:41

for having me. You got it down. What?

5:44

My name. Monica. Yeah. Yeah.

5:48

He practiced before you came up. Why? Who's

5:50

that? And then I forgot it was Monica.

5:52

And I got Monica, Monica, my mind. You know what I

5:54

mean? So Monica, Monica. It's good to see you. Yeah. I'm

5:57

a stylistic painting. Now, if you were to confuse

5:59

that. painting that's

6:01

a bummer because that's baby Monica. I already know

6:03

that's because I asked Rob who's that is that

6:05

Dax's child Monica

6:10

is that not the cutest baby you've ever seen genetically

6:12

great yeah yeah and I'm pretty sure the insides are

6:14

good too. But what a beautiful baby I was a

6:16

cute baby. You have

6:19

a little brother Steve yeah how much younger?

6:21

He's three years younger and I'm proud of

6:23

him he has 15 years sober which is

6:26

great. None of us have kids or anything.

6:28

No I'm more meant family disease. Everyone in

6:30

my family is either

6:34

sober or it went the other way. Let me

6:36

ask you about this a lot of people think

6:38

that alcoholism is hereditary and then some people think

6:41

it's trauma and things of that nature

6:43

that turns somebody alcoholic what is your

6:45

take on it? I have heard said

6:48

I think Bernay Brown said this that

6:50

genetics is the gun and traumas the

6:52

bullet so I believe there's a genetic

6:54

predisposition to it but I also think

6:56

that if you have trauma and you

6:58

can no longer self-regulate and you already

7:00

have this gene of course that's gonna

7:02

happen. It's a combo. Can that expose

7:04

the gun and trauma pose the trigger.

7:06

Oh that's Wow. Much better. So what

7:08

you're saying to me is I was

7:10

born bobbly but I lived with the

7:12

Asian version of the Huxtables aside from

7:14

Bill Cosby. Yeah that's a rut Matt.

7:17

That's trauma right there. Let me do another

7:19

family. The Cleavers. The Cleavers say good. A

7:22

lot of repression there. Oh boy. Well he's

7:24

abusive verbally. Yeah he's also racist right? That

7:33

wouldn't be good. But in a very charming way. Yeah

7:35

yeah. What's another TV family that I could do? I

7:37

know one. Jean-Luc Picard's son. Wait. Jean-Luc

7:39

Picard from Star Trek generation. Okay. Right

7:41

if he had a son he's a good

7:44

guy. I was the captain's son. I

7:46

lived on the Enterprise. Oh okay right. I'm

7:48

also mixed with like I see war like

7:50

a Klingon and Romulan. You know cultured

7:52

almost. Right. Hold on. You don't feel other.

7:55

Your culture but you are also embroiled in

7:57

war and adrenaline. Can we go with

7:59

the sea? Do you remember then?

8:01

It was my life but okay. Do

8:04

you remember the Severs? No, who's the Severs? He

8:06

has since become a very big Christian. Yeah.

8:10

No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know. No, no, but that's

8:12

the actor. I don't like Chris Kirkpatrick. No, no, no. Oh,

8:14

and my first agent was his mother. Yeah, Severs

8:16

was full house, Candace Cameron's

8:18

brother, right? Cameron. Kirk Cameron.

8:20

Kirk Cameron. Remember Kirk Cameron? Oh,

8:22

yeah, what's that show called? Yes, with Growing

8:24

Pains. Growing Pains. Growing Pains. They were the

8:26

Severs. They were the Severs. I think that's

8:28

the one we land on. All right. Because

8:30

they were liberal. But Kirk Cameron as a

8:32

brother. Is Kirk Cameron my brother? No, he's

8:34

not your brother. Well, not Kirk Cameron. The

8:36

character is your brother. But deep

8:39

down said there's stuffs of hardcore Christianity. No,

8:41

no, that's not present in Mike's theater. Oh,

8:43

yes. He doesn't come to Christianity until much

8:45

later in life. Well, then why can't I

8:47

just go back to the Huxtables? Because then

8:49

he's playing Dr. Huxtable. He's not Bill Cosby.

8:51

Okay, we're fine. Let's go with the

8:54

Huxtable. All those three back dogs. Okay. Let's go back.

8:57

I'm not part of the Huxtables, but I had

8:59

the gene. I wouldn't have been an alcoholic. Is

9:01

that what you're saying? Because I had such a

9:03

great upbringing. Well, look, I'm about to find out,

9:05

right? Because I have two little kids who have

9:07

my genes. There isn't a break in the cycle

9:09

that I can see. I'm about to do that show,

9:11

Finding Your Roots. Maybe we'll find a

9:13

shepherd that wasn't an alcoholic. To my knowledge, there wasn't

9:15

one. So we're about to find

9:18

out, really. Because thus far, at least

9:20

my kids haven't experienced the stuff I did.

9:22

Wow. Do you lay in bed worrying about

9:24

it? I don't. I'm just

9:26

enormously cool about this because my dad was

9:28

sober. He got sober when I was 14. In

9:31

12 steps? Yeah, in AA. Wow. And

9:34

he watched me go through the whole ride

9:36

and clearly knew what

9:38

was going on. And he was so chill about it.

9:40

He's like, look, you know where to come. You've been

9:42

to meetings with me when you're ready. I know you

9:44

won't go till you're ready. So I'm just hanging. You

9:47

know, my mother was terrified, but he had the most chill disposition about

9:49

it. He understands what you need to

9:51

go through to get sober. And he probably feels bad because he

9:54

knows that you're going to go through a lot of spiritual pain

9:56

and whatnot. But he

9:58

knows that there's a home and there's a hope for you. Unlike

10:00

my parents, who were old school Koreans, they didn't

10:02

really speak English, they don't know what alcoholism is,

10:05

even though my dad was an alcoholic. My dad

10:07

kept calling AA, ah. Why you go ah? I

10:11

go AA, I don't know, you understand what I'm

10:13

saying? Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack,

10:15

smack, he was like a violent, rage-aholic. And then

10:17

when I went to rehabs in high school, they

10:20

wouldn't really go to the parental, like the

10:22

group, the therapies and stuff, because they just

10:25

didn't understand, they felt uncomfortable. Culturally, it's so

10:27

white to do group therapy. Group

10:30

therapy. Yeah, yeah. No therapy at all. Yeah,

10:32

yeah. Tough. But then I think groups even

10:34

like another, like X Games. I did group

10:36

therapy with my dad one time. It was

10:38

called Knees to Knees. So I was at

10:40

the McDonald's Center in La Jolla, and it's

10:42

no longer there, but it's a rehab. The

10:44

families come, they all form a gigantic circle

10:46

in the auditorium, and then there's two chairs

10:48

in the center of the circle, and a

10:50

father and a son or a mother or a

10:52

daughter, whatever, they get in the center of the

10:55

circle, touch knees, and then the son reveals something

10:57

about their past that their parents don't know. So

10:59

I told my dad that I was molested by

11:01

a guy with Down syndrome. I unfortunately heard you

11:03

tell this story. When I was living in Minnesota.

11:06

No, this is real. Okay, okay. And this is

11:08

gonna be hard for us. You should hear him

11:10

trying to tell this story to two other comedians

11:12

on their podcast, and they were prepared to hear

11:15

him say he got molested. They braced themselves. And

11:18

then he hits them with the Down syndrome. And then he hits

11:20

them with every day for a whole summer. And

11:22

now they think. Are you keep adding on? Yeah,

11:24

yeah, yeah. Every time we get stable. Oh my,

11:26

okay. Anyway, I tell my dad that. And then

11:28

there was like this pause in the room, and

11:31

he went, he laughed. He laughed, and

11:34

then my brother, my

11:36

brother and my mom start laughing. Oh! And then

11:38

I start laughing. And then everyone starts laughing. It

11:41

was so weird. It's weird, but is it

11:43

nice? It might be. It was like you broke some

11:45

tension. It felt good. To get it out, because that was in me. It

11:47

probably would have been worse if everyone started crying. Like,

11:50

wouldn't you have felt even more like,

11:52

oh God. Yeah, maybe, I don't know. But

11:54

in retrospect, it was a funny experience, I

11:56

guess, and memory. And I think

11:58

for people on the outside who have. I haven't grown up

12:00

in a lot of chaos. That sounds crazy, but

12:03

I definitely think if you're under fire a lot,

12:05

it's the only option. Every family I knew that

12:07

was in the situations I was in or all

12:09

my friends who were divorced parents and step dads

12:11

running through or boyfriends that were alcoholics, everyone had

12:14

a huge sense of humor about it. I don't

12:16

think you had an option. So we were talking

12:18

about what causes it. So now

12:20

I'm getting a better understanding about why I

12:23

think I am who I am. Yes. Thank

12:25

you so much for clearing. I've thought about

12:27

it for years and I never thought maybe

12:29

it could be both. Well, I think everyone

12:32

wants more than anything just for efficiency and

12:34

laziness for everything to be one explanation. There's

12:36

a chapter in this Malcolm Gladwell book about

12:39

airplane crashes. It's never one thing. An airplane

12:41

almost never crashes because the wing broke or

12:43

the engine went out. It's always four or

12:45

five things go wrong and it hits critical

12:48

mess and then it crashes. I think

12:50

we're the same. To try to like figure

12:52

out the silver bullet of addiction, I think

12:54

is not realistic. How old

12:56

were mom and dad when they came from

12:58

Korea and were they together when they were

13:01

there already? No, so my dad came first,

13:03

made it to LA late 60s and

13:05

then my mom's brother-in-law knew my

13:08

dad's brother. They met through that,

13:11

but my mom didn't like my dad because he drank

13:13

a lot and he was weird already. Yeah, already. I

13:15

guess he was stalking her or whatever. So then she

13:17

moved to Wisconsin. Oh my goodness. And then he followed

13:19

her there. Double down. He doubled down, yeah, yeah. He

13:22

was romantic, now it's scary. But

13:26

he showed up with steak. I guess Koreans really

13:28

like meat. The barbecues are on every block. So

13:30

he bought this nice piece of steak and brought

13:32

it to her house. And I guess

13:34

that one or over. It is romantic. Huge

13:37

port house. That makes me sad for her, that

13:39

it works that quickly. So my mom, during

13:41

the Korean War, she witnessed her

13:43

sister, my aunt, get run over

13:45

by a military truck. And

13:48

she had to go up to the house,

13:50

grab rice bags with my grandmother and my

13:52

grandfather, my uncles and aunts and they had

13:55

to pick my aunt up, her body parts.

13:57

Oh. It's okay. How old are you?

14:00

It's fine, fine, fine. You would not have done well

14:02

with crying. We

14:04

lived through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old was

14:06

she? She was like eight or nine years old.

14:09

Older sister or younger sister? Younger. No,

14:11

older, older, older, older. Yeah. Then

14:13

they buried my aunt and then she comes

14:15

to America and meets my dad who was

14:17

like this alcoholic, rageaholic, violent guy. Just trauma

14:19

on top of trauma, on top of trauma.

14:21

Old school immigrants, they get layers of skin

14:24

to protect their heart. Pachyderm. Yeah,

14:27

yeah, yeah, yeah. And

14:29

so when my dad died, she

14:32

was devastated obviously, but you could

14:34

also see weight lifted. Relief, yeah.

14:36

It was weird. Like she could breathe.

14:39

She's been attached to a time bomb

14:42

that went off all the time and

14:44

just anticipating their next explosion. How fucking

14:46

stressful. If I hear a loud noise,

14:48

I instantly go into trauma. He

14:50

was one of those explosive guys, used to be eating with the

14:53

family and then he would just overturn the table. Right?

14:57

I always wanted to do that. Sometimes

14:59

they always tell the worst person because I've seen it

15:02

in movies and I have one to do it. Me

15:04

too. I'm going to one. Yeah, right?

15:07

It seems like the ultimate dad move. Well, the table clock then.

15:09

Oh, that's more of a magic. Yeah. So

15:11

I know there's two things involving people I've always wanted

15:13

to do. Yeah, yeah. We could do

15:15

the latter, no problem. Because that's not as traumatic as the table clock.

15:18

Yeah, that's cool. No, everyone's like, whoa,

15:20

dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The

15:23

other one is like, I need alcohol or something

15:25

to regulate myself. Yeah. Now, if

15:27

I'm at a coffee shop or whatever and I

15:29

hear anything, I instantly go into that flight

15:31

mode. I mean, I'm more of a freezer.

15:33

In fact, it seeped into auditions. Can I

15:35

ask just really quickly, when dad would get

15:38

that way, would you try to basically just

15:40

disappear like to be invisible so that you

15:42

didn't catch the wrath? You were always going

15:44

to get the wrath. There was no running.

15:46

So I think I resorted more to freeze.

15:48

So I would just freeze and take it.

15:50

And I tried to run away from home

15:53

a couple of times. I always came back.

15:55

I tried to cheer mom up in

15:57

these moments. Is this the birth of

15:59

comedy? I'm not even yeah cheesy question

16:01

over time I built resentment toward her for

16:03

not really protecting us So there was a

16:05

time where I was mad at her as

16:07

well and she would also not close fist

16:09

punch you But she would be very physical

16:11

with you culturally I only have one other

16:13

friend have talked about this with her parents

16:15

are from Korea She was actually born in

16:17

Korea, but she's like no no I got

16:19

my ass kicked That's what they do. That's

16:22

what they do. Yeah, you think maybe culturally

16:24

it wasn't even unique to your dad. Yeah,

16:26

maybe bow I mean that's cultural to maybe

16:28

pick that yeah. Yeah, yeah do something other

16:30

than that right right, but yeah It was

16:32

cultural and also didn't speak a lot of

16:34

English Did they feel as strange from you

16:36

at all or obviously you speak Korean no

16:38

you don't I know like six words Oh my

16:40

god, I can understand it like if I watch

16:42

squid games. I don't need the subtitles Maybe I

16:44

don't know but I still do you watch physical

16:46

100 are you physical 100 my favorite? 100

16:50

no this is show it's a Korean a reality

16:52

show that I'm obsessed with who has the best

16:54

physique is it good It's incredible. They're all Koreans.

16:56

They're all Korean. Well. There's a couple of white

16:58

ease in there. Oh really? I'm so curious how

17:00

these white ease found themselves in Korea Real

17:03

show about bodies. I'm very interested in those is that

17:05

on Netflix. It's on that I'm gonna watch it There's

17:07

two seasons, and it's phenomenal okay physical I have

17:09

a great suspicion that the dubbing isn't at

17:12

all what they're saying and I really need

17:14

someone to solve that for me Okay Also,

17:20

there's certain words in Korean that you

17:22

can't even translate into English right? There's

17:24

no comp. There's one word because me

17:27

my friend Jean and dumbfounded were at

17:29

Korean restaurant the other day And

17:31

there's a word called noon. She noon.

17:33

She Say it with me And

17:44

when I'm by myself tonight in my shower, I'm gonna

17:46

do it yes do it alone. Yes. I'm gonna love

17:48

it. Yeah Like

17:50

the girl yeah, yeah, just grown it out

17:52

Yeah, because you want to get the spirit

17:55

of it before you do you know about

17:57

words Hit

18:00

me one more time. Noonchi. I feel

18:02

like you're about to draw a sword on me.

18:04

But it's not a bad word. It's a great

18:06

word. Oh, great. What's it kind of... Even better.

18:08

Noonchi is instinct, but it's far more than that.

18:11

It's about etiquette. It's about reading. Like reading the

18:13

room? Yeah, reading the room is a part of

18:15

it. Knowing your place, maybe? Let's say I'm going

18:17

to a red carpet event, which I do often.

18:19

Of course. I constantly see what

18:22

those are. And I'm bringing a date who's not

18:24

in the business. Right. Of course. Try to wow

18:26

them. Yeah. I try to wow

18:28

them. Yeah. It really works. I know. Red

18:30

carpets really do it. They're very bright. Yeah. They

18:32

get your attention. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm maybe

18:35

taking a photo with somebody that people know. But

18:37

then if my date goes, can I get a

18:39

selfie with you? She doesn't know Noonchi. She doesn't

18:41

know Noonchi. Oh, I see.

18:43

You go, no Noonchi. No. Yeah,

18:46

but I don't say it. I'll let you say

18:48

it. Social awareness. That's exactly what it is. Oh.

18:50

Social awareness is a part of it as well.

18:52

Right. So Noonchi is a word in Korean. So

18:54

maybe when you're watching your reality show, some of

18:57

the words aren't translated correctly. Well, that's true. They're

18:59

like there's not even a direct translation. The

19:01

irony is if we had said that right now on

19:03

the podcast, we wouldn't have it. Oh, correct. It would

19:05

have been a display that we don't have it. We wouldn't

19:07

be socially aware if we were saying it. I don't want

19:10

to say please Monica. We're not allowed to say the word.

19:12

Well, you can say the word. Noonchi. You

19:14

just can't do what I'm going to do in the

19:16

shower. One

19:21

more time. Yeah. No, I can only get it

19:23

right tonight. Noonchi.

19:26

Fuck. Whoa. That's

19:29

really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Why

19:32

don't people have noonchi? Well, do you think all Koreans have

19:34

noonchi? Obviously the word exists because people don't have noonchi. That's true.

19:36

Now that I got to point it out. The bigger

19:38

question is why is that so important

19:41

there that it requires its own word?

19:43

And I would argue that in a

19:45

more collectivist mentality, tall poppy is a

19:48

bigger thing or individuality or these things

19:50

that you would stick out from the

19:52

group might be a little higher stakes.

19:54

That makes sense. Whereas here, noonchi is

19:57

almost rewarded hourly. Oh, it is? See

20:00

the person does go get a photo with someone they

20:02

shouldn't and then they pause and then you get a

20:04

bunch of attention and no one's going like why? You

20:06

know, yeah, I'm gonna tell you the worst noon chi

20:08

no noon chi story. You've ever heard this should be

20:10

a children's book So

20:24

when I was on mad TV many many years ago,

20:27

right, this is probably 2001 2002 obviously you've been to

20:29

the up front Yeah

20:31

So if you get on a show right and

20:34

it gets picked up they fly all the networks

20:36

in one week Every night is a different network.

20:38

So Tuesday, that's Fox night or whatever, right? And

20:40

so they fly you out nice hotel side bar

20:42

Fun as flights in the world because you're there

20:44

with all these actors you recognize the best in

20:46

fact If you're really obsessed with celebrity that would

20:48

be the move is just book yourself on a

20:50

flight, New York LA around that time you're gonna

20:52

see like seven or eight and you also feel

20:54

like Oh, am I a part of this? Yeah.

20:56

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite ones. Sorry.

20:59

Okay about the flight of the up front I'm in the

21:01

first-class lounge at LA and will are not happens to have

21:03

a show on NBC I have a show on NBC and

21:05

then Jason Ritter has a show on NBC the three of

21:07

us Going to the bathroom

21:09

or peeing at three year olds some

21:11

poor guy in a stall is pooping

21:13

I guess he fart so loud in

21:16

the middle of it and our net

21:18

goes Funny

21:25

through a get some out Third

21:27

lambing so fucking her but you're never at the

21:30

first class lanes with like 10 comedians. Yeah. Wow.

21:32

Wow. Okay So

21:34

up front see if they try you out. I

21:36

met this girl in a meeting right? Right and

21:38

she was super hot open micro comedian and I

21:41

thought she was very attractive This is like a

21:43

month before up front and then she kind of

21:45

made it seem like maybe there's something like an

21:47

idiot I'm like, hey, do you want to go to

21:49

the upfront? Oh my god, Bob? You

21:55

ever to my Is

21:57

a comedian she wanted to go precisely

22:00

worst move I ever made in my

22:02

life. Time out, no noonchi. No noonchi,

22:04

dude. Right,

22:06

so now we're at the gala. You're bringing her

22:08

to events, not just to the hotel on the

22:10

trip. Get to the Fox Inner Gala. There's one

22:12

table fooled with people from that 70s show, the

22:14

other table's from American Idol. Apex TV time. Yeah,

22:17

yeah, yeah. And so I'm sitting there and I

22:19

forgot who, me and Mike McDonald goes, look at

22:21

your date right now. Oh boy. By

22:23

the way, Michael McDonald's the best person to play. He's one

22:25

of the funniest people on planet Earth. And I look and

22:28

this girl. Oh no. Is giving

22:30

her business card. Oh no.

22:32

To the president of Fox.

22:35

Oh. Oh. Oh. Gail

22:37

Berman. Gail Berman at the time. Yeah, and

22:39

she was a Goliath in there. Goliath. She

22:41

was, yeah, right. And I knew her. She

22:43

was one of the legendary. Basically saying, I'm

22:46

a comedian and I'm doing all these shows,

22:48

you should check me out. She's shooting her

22:50

shot. I sprint. Oh. Like

22:52

if I could turn into the yellow Hulk, I would. I

22:54

would. Ray. I

22:56

grab her, not violently, in

22:59

a very like polite, not gentle grab. Hey, they

23:01

needed to talk to you about something over here.

23:04

You just got a phone call. Yeah, yeah. Something

23:06

like that. I go, can I talk to you for a second? This is how

23:08

big Gail Berman is. You said this is

23:10

about to remit her. Well, right. I'm imagining

23:12

you are there. The 70 shows there, those

23:14

are huge stars. You're on year two of

23:17

Mad TV or year one. You almost feel

23:19

like you don't even belong. And now your

23:21

date is cold calling the president. I went

23:23

from open mic. Yeah. To a TV show. I

23:26

went from homelessness to getting an apartment.

23:29

You just took your first first class flight probably. Yes.

23:31

It was dreamy. The first hotel you can't park your car

23:34

in front of the door. Yeah, yeah.

23:36

It was a lot of first aid. And I gently touch

23:38

her arm. Yeah. May I speak to

23:40

you for a second? And I went into like,

23:42

what the fuck are you

23:44

doing? And she's like, well, I'm Canadian. I'm just networking.

23:46

And then I had to spend like another two days

23:49

with her. She slept on the couch or something. Yeah,

23:51

yeah. Or in the hall. This

23:54

is my point about America though, because

23:56

America is riddled with this war of

23:58

people doing exactly what they do. You

24:01

hear all these stories. I slipped so-and-so

24:03

my tape while they were eating dinner.

24:05

Enough of those things worked out that

24:07

that has fueled a lot of people

24:09

doing no noonchi all over the place.

24:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're real. I

24:13

just think that instinctually, though, I mean,

24:15

how is that not ingrained into one's

24:17

body? For instance, when I was coming

24:19

up with open mics, I was in San Diego and

24:21

I was a doorman. And every weekend we would get

24:23

big headliners to play the weekend. I mean, at the

24:26

time, there were big guys like Carlos Macia and Paulie

24:28

Shore and these perfect guys. This is who you

24:30

end up opening for. Right. We opened for them over

24:32

the weekends. They came up to me and go, hey, you're funny. And

24:34

then once they start a conversation that I can talk, but in

24:36

no way would I go up to them out of nowhere and

24:39

go, hey, I'm Bobby. You

24:41

know, that's insane. I know. The audacity. I'm on

24:43

the path. That was ingrained in me not to

24:45

do that. And I just don't understand why people

24:47

don't have that. So I'm the same as you.

24:49

This show has complicated that because obviously I need

24:52

guests at times. And I'm like, even calling someone

24:54

who I think would even want to be on

24:56

the show. Right. Oh, God.

24:58

Here we go. Oh, it's painful to do that. Nobody

25:00

else to do it. Well, we have certain people, but

25:02

then they can't get to the person. I mean, I

25:05

do it mainly. But if it's someone

25:07

that Dax knows personally, he needs to

25:09

do it. Yeah. And it's very, very

25:11

hard for me. I burn up inside when I'm

25:13

doing it. I stopped doing it. There's no reward.

25:15

There's no reward worth. Not only that, I feel

25:17

like I'm stalking my friends. It's the worst feeling.

25:19

So I just decided to get other people to

25:21

do it. Aren't there exceptions? Like, what about Brad

25:23

Pitt if you were best friends with him? No,

25:26

Brad Pitt. If I had Brad Pitt's phone number, all

25:28

I would do at night is just stare at it.

25:30

I know, right? I do reread some of our exchanges.

25:32

Oh, I mean, you're so blessed. What

25:34

are they? I'm nothing. They're

25:37

all about motor sports. Oh, really? He's my number one. I

25:39

tell this too often on here, but I know you'll really

25:41

get a kick out of it. My friend Kareem and I

25:43

years ago, we were talking about how much we love Brad

25:45

Pitt. And I said, this is the level at which I

25:48

love him. If he and I were

25:50

like going up to Santa Barbara for the weekend

25:52

together in halfway there, I was like, shit, I

25:54

think we got a flat tire and then pulled over

25:56

and said, like, will you check on the tire?

26:00

at the tire and it was fine and then he drove away and left

26:02

me on the side of the road. I would

26:04

go, what a free spirit. Like

26:10

there's no amount of abuse that

26:12

I wouldn't somehow take. Yeah,

26:15

that's so fucking funny. I mean,

26:17

I know people that know him and he loves comedy

26:19

I heard. Yeah. And he's

26:21

also- Look, he goes and does Dave's show. He did

26:23

Jackass back in the day. Mark Maron's podcast. He's a

26:25

supporter. He's such a great guy, but don't ever mention

26:28

his name again. He's really kind of juicy. I understand.

26:30

We all do. In a sexual way.

26:32

Well, it can be sexual. Inevitably because people know I'm so

26:34

obsessed with him, they'll go like, well, what would you do

26:36

with him physically? Yeah, what? How far would you go? Yeah,

26:38

how far would I go? And I think I

26:40

really would kiss him. Would

26:42

you kiss him? In

26:45

what way? Would you make out with him? Like,

26:49

hunks? Yeah. If

26:51

he's kissing- I'm trying to give you the best.

26:53

You're gonna give me your honest answer. Complete

26:55

honest. Yes. Now, I'm me

26:57

or my- I'm Bobby Lee. Where

26:59

I'm at now in my life. You guys are hanging.

27:01

He goes, I would fucking love to kiss you, Bobby.

27:04

Like, we're private. We're not

27:07

out. No, right. You're not

27:09

in a restaurant. We're in my car. No. No,

27:12

that's too intimate. You are in public, but

27:14

no one's looking. We're at the out front. You're

27:16

at a height. You're on a height. You're on a

27:18

height. And there's nobody around. Okay, there's no one around.

27:20

There's a gigantic tree. You get to the very peak

27:22

up here in Griffith Park. I'm not gonna get that

27:24

high. Okay. Yeah, I don't answer that.

27:27

You gotta breath a kick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And

27:29

you do a bad job. Yeah, I'd be exhausted. It's the

27:31

beginning of the hike. No one's sweaty yet. I would

27:33

have to ask questions. Okay, go ahead. I'm Brad.

27:35

All right, Bobby. Can I just say something?

27:37

Will you even say, hey, Brad? Oh, no, no, no. Hold

27:40

on. You fucked it up. Brad would then

27:42

go, I wanted to kiss you, but then you said, hey, Brad.

27:44

And now I know. I don't want to kiss you. So we're

27:46

just hanging. I'm Brad. I need some questions

27:48

before we- Oh, okay. The situation. The

27:51

parameters. Have I hung up with him before? Yes,

27:53

we're friends. We hang up

27:55

kind of a lot. Dude, what you touched would be less. That was so funny.

27:58

Oh, my God. Thanks. from

28:00

someone else. Oh you did? Yeah, yeah. The last time we

28:02

hiked I was thinking I would not mind kissing Bobby. I

28:05

just want to, I wouldn't mind at all. I think

28:07

I want to kiss you. Yeah, I mean, I'll probably

28:09

kiss you. I feel that hypothetically, you know? I was.

28:12

You know? Yeah. I mean, probably.

28:14

Yeah, why are you laughing? You just can't

28:17

pass up. Like do you know how many

28:19

women would cut off a finger to experience

28:21

kissing him? I would do it. I would

28:23

do it. You have to do it. So

28:25

I guess my answer for it has always

28:28

been everything up till shirt's off, standing kissing.

28:30

Okay. You and Brad, you guys are on a

28:32

cruise. Oh wow. Okay. Your cruise is here. Your cruise

28:34

goes down. Oh fuck, right? You guys

28:36

are the lone survivors. You're on an island. You

28:38

know, Brad seems like he knows everything. So he

28:40

knows how to filter water. He made us a

28:42

shelter. Right, right. There's a shelter. And now a

28:44

years go by. You guys have beards. Oh, so

28:47

he looks just like Legends of the Fall when

28:49

he's going on a weird boat trip. Yeah, yeah,

28:51

yeah, yeah. You're smoking open at the bottom of

28:53

the boat. You look like Tom Hanks from Castaway.

28:55

Oh, I wouldn't let

28:59

him kiss me. I look like that. No, I

29:02

mean, he deserves better. You don't like, you know,

29:04

too much shellfish. Can I look like Hemsworth or

29:06

something? No, no, no, no. You're on the island.

29:08

You're on the island. You can't work out. Okay.

29:11

Now, would you go beyond kissing?

29:13

I'm going to give you a sincere answer. I

29:16

don't think we can know what it's like. I'm

29:22

being real. I don't know.

29:24

I don't know what it's like to have

29:27

spent an entire year on an island come

29:29

to accept that I'm never getting off this

29:31

island. I'm with this person. And if

29:34

I want to have any sexuality while

29:36

I'm still on planet earth before I

29:38

die, it's going to have to be

29:40

with this person. I don't know what

29:42

that whole context does. Right. You're so

29:45

right. I don't know. No, I

29:47

don't know. People need intimacy. I think you

29:49

would. And maybe it wouldn't be super

29:51

villain, but you guys would cuddle because

29:53

on islands, it gets really cold at nights.

29:55

Exactly. Well cuddling, I'd be fine with right

29:57

out of the gate. My I

30:00

will cuddle yeah, but if you can sort

30:02

of get a rouse day to write right,

30:04

would you question yourself? Like why am I

30:06

getting aroused I think about this early Well,

30:11

I feel very confident in saying I

30:13

wouldn't get aroused cuddling him Right

30:16

away to okay. Okay, but a

30:18

year in to this experience cuddling.

30:20

I don't know you me either No, I don't

30:22

even really want to answer that that we don't

30:24

yeah, yeah, that's a DVD Tom

30:27

Hardy six months Oh Tom your

30:29

time Tom Hardy for me six months.

30:31

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is he

30:33

above Brad Pitt? Yeah Clint Eastwood never

30:35

no No, okay, and he says

30:38

90 something. I would want to take care

30:40

of him and like nurture him Do you

30:42

feel like you were taking advantage a little

30:44

bit a little bit? Yeah, like what do

30:46

they call that elder abuse? Yeah elder Yeah

30:58

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33:32

to our first comment, so let's get out of

33:35

silence. But listen, that gal, that's worth exploring. What

33:37

gal are you talking about? The girl you're going

33:39

to? The girl that you took. No,

33:41

no, no, no, no. Years later, you stop singing

33:43

around. I heard she got married at kids. Oh,

33:45

good. She got out of the game. Have you

33:47

had that sense that girls want

33:49

to be with you because they want to be close

33:51

to comedy and they want to be in the world

33:54

of it? I feel like she would have confirmed my

33:56

worst fear if I were you in the

33:58

way she behaved immediately when she was a kid.

34:00

She had the opportunity what would have been going

34:02

on is not only my fear of now I'm

34:04

gonna get kicked out of this party I just

34:06

got invited to and I mean that metaphorically. Yeah,

34:08

additionally fuck some voice in my head was like

34:10

this girl doesn't really like me She just wants

34:12

to be kind of closer to the flame with

34:14

any of that happening at the time It was

34:16

new because before I got onto mad TV I

34:18

wasn't an insult, but it wasn't like I had

34:20

a lot of options. You weren't dating a ton

34:22

Yeah, maybe once a year. I would really get

34:24

lucky and make out with somebody cuz you partied

34:26

a lot met helps I was sober then I

34:28

got sober at 17 to the age of 30 First

34:32

of all, let's take one second to say that

34:34

that is nearly impossible So when I meet these

34:36

guys who have like 35 years, they got sober

34:38

when they're 17 I'm like in

34:40

complete awe of them my sponsors like that my

34:42

sponsor. We got sober young Yeah, my old sponsors

34:44

same way and it's so fucking impressive. How does

34:47

the attic voice in your head not go like

34:49

I was a kid I don't really know about

34:51

me. I know it was like to be a

34:53

pubescent crazy person living in a crazy household There's

34:56

so much we're gonna talk about yeah, let's go back to the girl

34:58

thing and then I want to talk about that I think you have that

35:00

in your head. Yeah, we got it Don't

35:03

rely on Rob We

35:06

got it all your point about you're saying right

35:08

now. Do you think girls well at that time?

35:10

Did you have that fear? I'm single now and

35:12

I have been dating I mean at the check

35:14

off so many things before sexuality kind of occurred

35:17

Yeah, and you gotta like somehow determine do they

35:19

want a story? Yeah, do they want a story?

35:21

Well, there are certain things you do for instance

35:23

if I make out with somebody I

35:26

make sure after I leave them to text them.

35:28

I had a really good time. They have to

35:30

go Oh me too was so great

35:32

to me that we want a great things for dinner

35:34

this and that like I need that exchange to feel Peaceful

35:37

because so they can't lie right right right, so it's weird

35:39

that now you have to do that But back to

35:41

the girl okay when that was happening Did

35:43

you already have that fear or were you like

35:45

I don't really care why she's here I'm just

35:47

happy to be with somebody here at that time.

35:49

There was no cancel culture those paranoia's weren't there

35:51

This is self-worth stuff am I being used but

35:54

Dax Brad Pitt is being used for his good

35:56

looks great Cuz I do think that's another way

35:58

to look at it. Which is like people Do

36:00

you think she likes you because of this or that?"

36:02

And I'm like, I don't really care why someone likes

36:04

me. I just want someone to like me. Kalala and

36:06

my ex, we lived together for 10 years and they're

36:08

like, she's too hot. She's probably using him. But is

36:10

that really because Kalala, when I'm sick, she makes me

36:13

soup and takes care of me. When I have food

36:15

poisoning, I had food poisoning in my car. I shit

36:17

all over my Prius. She cleaned it.

36:19

Oh, my God. That's why. She still had sex

36:21

with me, right? So that's not it. There's a

36:23

love there and there's a care. Or even I

36:25

was watching you guys do this weird thing where

36:27

you could either answer a gnarly question or take

36:29

a shot of ginger. And she

36:31

was asked to rate your body out of 10.

36:33

Yeah. And the sincerity with which,

36:35

she's like, Bobby, you are a 10 to me.

36:37

You've always been a 10 to me. You're still

36:40

a 10 to me even though we're broken up.

36:42

I love your belly so much. She

36:44

like loves Bobby's belly. And I'm like, I

36:46

100% believe her. I

36:48

would not have thought that about her just based

36:50

on what I saw. All the girls that go

36:52

out with me have that to a degree. I've

36:54

been on dates with a beautiful woman and then

36:57

she'll say, even in the 70s, my

36:59

dad used to take me to these kung fu film festivals.

37:02

And you're like, yeah. Just watching them

37:04

move. I just really liked them. I fell in love with Asians.

37:06

Oh, like there's just things. There's a little kind of a fetishy

37:08

kind of thing. Oh, sure, sure, sure. I love it, I love

37:10

it, I love it. I love it, I love it. I love

37:12

it. I don't like it. Why? As soon

37:14

as they say, I just really like Indian girls,

37:17

I want you to leave. Then

37:19

it's not about me anymore. Yeah. But

37:21

why isn't it just that's what they find

37:23

physically attractive? I know, it's like. The skin

37:25

color and the features. I don't understand why

37:27

that can't be your type. I know,

37:30

I understand. I think maybe it's my issue.

37:32

I like taller women. I don't know why, but

37:34

there's like five, eight, five, nine, five, 10, I

37:36

love it. You can't get enough. When I get

37:38

women my height, it never lasts. I think when I

37:41

was a kid, my parents were both five foot.

37:43

Yes. Okay. Whereas I

37:45

was looking at them and as a kid, I'm

37:47

like, oh no, I gotta go taller for the

37:49

family. Over and for your future. For the journey.

37:51

For the lead generation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's

37:53

get taller here. This country, the land of opportunity.

37:55

If a guy goes, yeah, I'm just really

37:57

into Indians if you don't like it. No. but

38:00

I don't need them to say

38:03

it because it immediately becomes you're

38:05

just here because of your fetish

38:08

But it has nothing to do with

38:10

me or my personality or anything that

38:12

could be the initial attraction, right? But for

38:14

somebody to hang out with you, they're gonna

38:16

have to like all the other things. Yeah,

38:18

your personality Inca, I mean

38:20

just different social stand. Oh, they should like those

38:23

things about they're all pretty good But without making

38:25

it feel like I'm attacking you You

38:27

have many reasons why you wouldn't trust someone

38:30

would like you legitimate reason. I

38:32

don't know that they're legitimate as much as If

38:36

you have easier time believing people like you in

38:38

general I don't know that you would be shining

38:40

a light on all these specific categories So another

38:42

thing that Monica we've argued about this in the

38:44

past She's like I would never date someone who

38:46

was a fan of the show because they like

38:48

me because it's a little bit of a turn

38:50

And I said well Monica you're not playing a

38:52

character on this show You're yourself if someone's fallen

38:54

in love with you like they actually love you

38:57

you're showing all sides of yourself Monica I want

38:59

to say something to you and now to find

39:01

out like if someone thinks the hottest girls in

39:03

the world are Indian And then that would even

39:05

be a turn. It's like well You're the

39:07

number one most attractive type they think and

39:09

they know you from the show and they

39:11

actually know you those are things I think

39:14

they're a defense because those are fine things

39:16

for someone to be attracted to you about

39:18

I'm dating a girl Who

39:21

lives in Ohio okay, and she DM me

39:23

she had on a thermos my podcast sticker

39:26

And we start talking then we started face

39:28

timing and I hang out with her

39:30

maybe once a month every other month because she Lows far

39:32

there is a comfort level there Because

39:35

she knows my character defects

39:37

and some of my oddities and my you've already

39:39

shown her your bad side Exactly on the air

39:41

yeah, so she'll go yeah, I know you don't

39:44

like that kind of drink you like that Yeah,

39:46

because I don't want to have to audition yeah,

39:48

there's no fault I

39:50

want to be able to do the song and dance

39:52

and like is she gonna like this she already likes

39:54

all my bad shit Yeah, it's so much easier like

39:56

you meet a stranger on a plane you guys are

39:58

getting along great, and you're like well I guess maybe

40:00

date three I tell her like I'm

40:02

a hardcore addict man you're gonna find

40:04

me one day. Here's the playbook. Right?

40:07

You don't have to do that. You talked

40:09

about your mistakes with your ex-girlfriend who you

40:11

still have a show with. You're already owning

40:14

up your shitty patterns that you do in

40:16

relationships. Now I understand if you're playing Rachel

40:18

on Friends and the person's in love with

40:20

Rachel from Friends and then they meet you

40:23

and now you're like oh fuck how long

40:25

before they realize I'm not Rachel I'm much

40:27

richer and

40:29

prettier I'm Jennifer Aniston. That's

40:31

exactly what it is. I gotta own the fact

40:34

that I'm not in the marginalized class but if

40:36

an Indian girl says to me I love tall

40:38

white boys I'm like perfect. You're like get in

40:40

line so does everyone in the whole world. But

40:42

some people like fat Korean guys. Look

40:45

I don't know. I don't know what to

40:47

say. There's one I'm suspicious of but it's

40:49

not of Indian. So I am suspicious of

40:51

white guys who have an quote Asian fetish

40:53

for girls. That one I

40:56

need to ask a few follow-up questions. Well

40:58

I'm Asian go ahead. Yes because my fear

41:00

in that situation if it's just aesthetic great

41:02

but if it's that you think Asians are

41:05

more submissive and you'll be able to be

41:07

more dominant and get away with more shit

41:09

and that's why you like Asians I don't

41:11

know that I love that. It was a

41:13

motivation to have a fetish. Yeah I'm worried

41:16

about Asian women that only go out with

41:18

white dudes. I don't want to get canceled

41:20

but I feel like there's an elitism or

41:22

something about it. Well I'll tell you what it is because I

41:25

have this right where you spend your

41:27

whole life trying to get the attention

41:30

of the white guy at your high

41:32

school. The quarterback is often a handsome

41:34

white guy. So that is

41:36

what starts to become ingrained. It's not about

41:39

anything other than that that just becomes like

41:41

the highest guess. Yeah because they're holding

41:43

all the status. It's wrong. We

41:46

all want to be validated by the highest

41:48

status person available to us. Yeah. Whether Angelina

41:50

Jolie's your type or not you'd go on

41:52

10 dates with her because you're like I

41:54

can't believe she likes me. Oh yeah

41:56

I would. Right. Yeah I think it's 100%. Yeah yeah yeah. Three

42:00

years to realize it wasn't a match. That status goes a long way. But

42:07

when I'm with white women though, I have noticed, I'm

42:09

going to say something. So

42:12

growing up, you know, I'm much older than you. How old are you

42:14

Monica? I'm 52. So I

42:16

was in an era in America where there

42:18

was a lot of microaggressions with racism. Just

42:20

little things that white people would say. Well,

42:22

also I was thinking too, because we're roughly

42:24

the same age, you're a few years older

42:27

than me. But you spent your time going

42:29

through school at like the height of Karate

42:31

Kid. All these things would pop up where

42:33

it had to have all been fucked up.

42:36

It was fine to be kind of overtly

42:38

dismissive of Asians in the way that the

42:40

movies were. Long Duck Dong. So I talked

42:42

to Getty Winona. So when Magnum PI was

42:44

a show, I would reoccur on it. And

42:46

one day they're like, well, who do you

42:48

want as a sushi chef? And the snack

42:51

go, try to get Getty Winona. Is

42:53

that who played? Long Duck Dong. Because I

42:55

just wanted to be around him. I grew

42:57

up with him. And he fucking deserves something.

42:59

Right. For being the token. Yes. I'm with

43:01

Getty. We're sitting around and I go, hey,

43:04

that role, it blew you up, but it

43:06

didn't do well for us. It's

43:10

not a really good image for us.

43:12

And he goes, you have to understand,

43:14

Bobby, I'm an actor. That was my

43:16

first audition in like four years with

43:18

anybody of my type. And then when

43:20

I showed up at the audition, every

43:22

Asian guy that's an actor was there

43:24

fighting to get this one little

43:27

thing. And that's why I love Getty

43:29

Winona. I love what he went through

43:31

his struggles because he's such a talented

43:34

guy. Well, that's what sucks. So he's

43:36

objectively insanely funny in the role. Insanely

43:38

good. Holy smokes. The way he's playing

43:40

hammered and writing the exercise by God.

43:42

Like forget the Asian stereotypes that are

43:44

happening. The physicality of long. What was

43:46

it? Long duck dong. Every time I

43:48

say I'm like, it couldn't be that

43:50

bad. Yes. I

43:54

don't know. It's 16 candles. Sixteen. And he gets

43:56

drunk for the very first time and then he

43:58

has sex for the first time. We're

44:00

going back to checking with him at the party. What the

44:02

hell, but not half the stuff. In high school, people would

44:04

walk by me and say that. Of course. That's what I

44:06

was trying to say about karate. Yeah, I

44:08

used a dumb example karate because it was

44:11

a bunch of white people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:13

So I grew up with that. There was

44:15

never a movie where we were the leading

44:17

man. I've never seen back then an Asian

44:19

man kiss anybody on any screen, TV, or

44:21

anything. Right. Not even in a like a

44:23

Pepto-Bismol commercial or something. Not

44:26

much kissing happening. I've never seen it, okay. Honey,

44:28

did your diarrhea pass in that Pepto? Yes,

44:30

all gone. Oh, good. I

44:32

did a commercial with Jane Lynch

44:34

once. Her

44:37

and I made out on a couch. It was for

44:39

like booking.com and I remember going, oh, this would have

44:41

never happened 20, 30 years ago. No. So

44:44

I'm always very aware. I feel great when

44:46

that happened because I'm like, oh,

44:49

I just never knew that this day would come. But

44:51

anyway, now because of all those little microaggressions I grew

44:53

up with, I sometimes when I'm with

44:55

white girls, they're mean to me. I kind of go, why

44:57

am I in this situation is because I'm used to it.

45:00

And so when I'm trying to do a set boundaries

45:02

and not date people like that because I'm trying to

45:05

treat myself better. It's like when I used to have

45:07

a bad audition. So when I had this audition in

45:09

front of Amy Poehler was so bad. I froze.

45:12

And you must have wanted to do so good. We love her. I love

45:15

her too. I was in my car, took a bottle

45:17

of water and I smashed my head to the

45:19

point where I was bleeding in my face. Sure.

45:21

To punish myself for fucking up because, you know,

45:23

my dad would do it. Yes. I

45:26

just don't do that anymore to myself. I

45:29

don't put myself in any of those kind

45:31

of situations. I don't punish myself over things

45:33

anymore repeatedly because I want to try to

45:35

just have empathy for myself and love myself.

45:38

I bet you and I have shared this

45:40

thought where the decency will extend someone in

45:42

an AA meeting. I'll hear

45:44

something that they did. And my first thought

45:46

is, yeah, dude, life's hard when we fuck up

45:48

and we're going to do better tomorrow. It's fine.

45:51

And if I do the same thing that that

45:53

person did, it would be months of self-flagellation. And

45:55

I'm a terrible piece of shit. And

45:58

sometimes I'll go like as a goal if you could even be half- as

46:00

nice as you are to strangers at a meeting,

46:02

as you are to yourself. That would be a

46:04

huge improvement. Why do we do that to ourselves?

46:06

Oh, I know. It's brutal. We punish ourselves. And

46:08

that feels genetic because my daughter, we bonded over

46:10

this. She's a little girl. I'll go, do you

46:12

ever embarrass yourself? Oh yeah, and we'll tell funny

46:14

stories we've embarrassed ourselves. And then she'll go, and

46:16

then I just am so mean to myself in

46:18

my head afterwards. I'm like, me too. I call

46:20

myself terrible names. She's like, you wouldn't believe what

46:22

I call myself. But do you tell her, stop

46:24

doing that or no? Stop is

46:26

maybe a pipe dream, but

46:28

you're not alone. I'm like

46:30

that too. And yeah, it blows.

46:33

You know, you want to go like, so you

46:35

should stop drinking. You go like, oh, fuck yeah,

46:37

brother. I did the same thing. Yeah. Like back

46:39

in the day before Bill met Bob in 1935,

46:43

he would go like, you need to do this.

46:45

It wasn't working. It's until he met Bob for

46:47

the first time where he went, this is what

46:49

I went through. These are my experiences. And they

46:52

have the feelings attached to those experiences. And then

46:54

Bob was like, Oh, I relate to you. That's

46:56

exactly what I go through. And then they would

46:58

go to a hospital and all they would

47:00

say is their story. They're not there to

47:03

go like, you know, this is bad for

47:05

your liver. The motherfucker is yellow. Yeah. We

47:07

know it's better than liver ward. Sometimes I

47:09

think without those guys meeting, what would I

47:11

be doing right now? Oh, I know there's

47:13

some bizarre magic to it. It's flawed. I

47:16

have complaints. They need to update it. I

47:18

agree. We're in an interesting phase of it

47:20

in its history. And there's a call to

47:22

I think make the mistake Christians have made

47:24

and that constitutionalists have made where it's just

47:26

like you start revering the beginning of something

47:28

so much that you're not taking on

47:31

any new information. Everything should evolve. There's no

47:33

sacred text. Everything needs a rewrite as more

47:35

information is known. Like if I didn't address

47:37

my trauma and do EMDR and see a

47:39

trauma therapist and do all that kind of

47:42

work, right? I don't know if I'd be

47:44

sitting here right now. Totally. I had a

47:46

friend, thank God. I'll give him a shout

47:48

out Kevin. I was going through a ton

47:50

of stuff a few years ago and

47:53

he said to me, you know, AA is not going

47:55

to be enough with your

47:57

childhood. Brainwater is. and

48:01

there's no step for that. You're gonna have to

48:03

really figure out how to get into your brain

48:05

a bit. And then I did start therapy in

48:08

a good way, but yeah, I was hoping it

48:10

would, cause fuck, it does cure so much of

48:12

your shit. It's great. You do wake up as

48:14

a person you couldn't have fathomed you'd be, like

48:16

you actually can hear when you're lying to yourself,

48:18

and you can admit to people when you're lying,

48:20

you can say, sorry, like these things were unimaginable

48:23

to me. And you do start to think, well,

48:25

I could probably solve every problem I have with

48:27

this. I think you can clean up most wreckage

48:29

through doing the steps. I think there's just certain

48:31

things that are so deep seated into your body

48:33

that it just doesn't work. How do you feel

48:35

about people in the program without telling their sponsor

48:38

doing ayahuasca? I say

48:40

this sincerely, I don't care what anyone does.

48:42

There are people who use weed in the

48:44

program that they seem to be fine. There

48:46

are people that do ayahuasca or they do

48:48

shrooms. I don't have an opinion on it.

48:51

All I have is for me, I think

48:53

we all have a different set of things

48:55

that would set us off. I'm not one

48:57

to prescribe. Now, if I was working with

48:59

a dude and every

49:02

time he did an edible, I know your story, you took

49:04

an edible on an airplane ride to Hawaii and you woke

49:06

up three months later and you're on the verge of dying.

49:08

So I would say to you, I don't

49:11

think edible's for you work, but

49:13

I also think people do it and I

49:15

just don't have an opinion. My sponsor

49:17

says ayahuasca, no. Okay. I love

49:19

my sponsor, so I'm not gonna do it.

49:21

But I do know a couple of people

49:23

that are super active in the program that

49:25

did it a couple years ago. One time,

49:27

it was a great experience for them. They

49:29

didn't do other drugs or anything after that.

49:31

I believe them. I believe them too. I

49:33

have watched documentaries on ayahuasca where it talks

49:36

about in the same way shrooms can as

49:38

well, your brain starts functioning in a way

49:40

where it forms new neural pathways and kind

49:42

of breaks down these super highways we have

49:44

where you and I, something tiny happens to

49:46

us and we react like someone has pointed

49:48

a gun at us. Like I overreact to

49:51

certain stimuli so dramatically that yeah, if I

49:53

could do ayahuasca then that part would be

49:55

over. Now I haven't done it. I would

49:57

tell you if I did. At the same.

50:00

At the same time, I'm also suspicious of you would

50:02

take something that would fix you. I just think anytime

50:04

I think I'm going to take something that's going to

50:06

fix me, I do have a knee jerk that probably

50:08

not. Yay. Right. That's

50:11

why I haven't done it. Also, risk reward for each individual person

50:13

you should know, and I think you

50:15

two do, the likelihood of this going

50:17

very poorly, and is that worth the

50:19

reward of, quote, fixing? I guess it depends

50:21

how much pain you're in. I'm not in

50:24

enough daily pain that I need to experiment

50:26

with Iowa. I'm just not. I have to

50:28

explore all the other alternatives before I made

50:30

that decision. I'm doing trauma therapy, and I

50:32

do sometimes EMDR. In fact, there are some

50:34

times where I go away to a place

50:36

for a week and do like a week

50:38

worth of psychotherapy, really just try to get

50:41

in there. If those roads end, and I'm

50:43

still, then maybe I would consider it. You're

50:45

bringing up the best part. And this is

50:47

what I should have said when you first

50:49

said that. I don't think anyone should

50:51

get sober to be miserable and suffer and

50:54

be suicidal. I don't think that's

50:56

the goal. So I'm not in a position

50:58

where I'm so uncomfortable being alive and I'm

51:00

doing all the stuff. So

51:02

it's not fair for me to say

51:04

that that person shouldn't do ayahuasca because

51:06

I'm not suffering hourly, but

51:08

there are people that are. And so

51:11

you're going to tell somebody who's literally maybe the

51:13

other option is killing themselves and already sober. Who

51:15

am I to say you shouldn't try that thing?

51:17

I'm not in the judgment game of it all.

51:20

I don't really give a fuck what anyone does.

51:22

If they're somehow drinking and going to five meetings

51:24

a week and they go to their job every

51:26

day and they're married and everyone's happy. Well, then

51:28

I don't even know. Maybe everything's fine. That's probably

51:30

not an alcoholic. Yeah, maybe

51:32

they're not. It's not for

51:34

me to say, I can only say

51:36

that when I am doing that, I

51:38

feel morally bankrupt and miserable. I mean,

51:40

I know guys that are hugely successful

51:44

and just riddled with the disease. They

51:46

show up to everything and their family

51:48

loves them and they'll even say,

51:50

yeah, I'm a chronic alcoholic and they can just

51:52

do it. I look at them. I

51:54

go, I can't do that. That's the point. I don't think

51:57

there's a moral imperative about it. being

52:00

an addict. I think if you are an addict and

52:02

you're happy and everyone around you is happy, I don't

52:04

think that's implicitly bad. For me, I'm very unhappy and

52:06

the people around me are sad. But

52:10

somehow Nicholson and I don't want to get sued by

52:12

him, but it appears this dude has gone hard his

52:14

whole life and it has worked the fuck out for

52:16

him. I'm jealous of it. I'm

52:18

Gary Busey. Oh, me too. Right. Are we

52:20

in a motorcycle accident? Yeah, I'm probably seeing,

52:22

dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Haggard

52:24

blood, haggard blood, haggard blood. Haggard blood.

52:27

Wait, but this gets back to the pin. We're revisiting

52:30

the pin. So you got sober between 17 and 30.

52:35

You're so good. You'll

52:38

never forget that name. No, she's bad. Yeah.

52:40

So from 17, how

52:42

do we get there? When do you start

52:44

using? So wait, there's bullying. Dad is violent.

52:46

I can't really even begin to imagine what

52:48

it's like to not be communicating with my

52:50

parents and for them to not be communicating

52:52

with me through time. I have a lot

52:55

of empathy for them. They both experienced the

52:57

Korean War. My mom witnessed my aunt and

52:59

then my dad never went to school. He

53:01

was a street kid. He was kind of

53:03

in gangs and stuff. Started a great business.

53:05

Yeah. Later on when he came to America.

53:07

So, you know, there is a little bit

53:09

of empathy there. So I was born into

53:11

the household. My parents had money. So we

53:14

lived in affluent areas. And then we moved

53:16

to San Diego from Minnesota when I was

53:18

11. I just was in so much pain.

53:20

So my parents had a refrigerator in the

53:22

garage and my mom would stock

53:24

it for my dad. Beers, other liquors. And

53:27

he drank so much that I was just able to go

53:29

in there. They would never know. No. And you were 11.

53:32

And also I'm small. Yeah. So like

53:34

a beer, a beer and a half,

53:36

two beers would just obliterate me. And

53:38

give you relief. Relief from it. And

53:40

I remember just laying in bed drunk.

53:42

I would hide the cans and just

53:44

being, oh, yeah, like the

53:47

pressure was finally off. Yeah. The

53:49

problem was I was outside my house

53:51

one day and this skateboard kid flipped

53:54

over his board and he started chopping up

53:56

meth. I was like 11 or 12. I walked into my house.

53:58

And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't even

54:00

ask what I was like, can I have some? At 11. At 11, 12.

54:03

Well I guess then when you were 11, that's 82. It's

54:06

everywhere. He does fast math. It's

54:08

everywhere. Incredible. My family's from rice

54:10

production. It

54:12

literally was rampant in San Diego at the time.

54:14

Oh wow. Yeah. So ever present and it was

54:16

easy to get to. You could order a truck

54:18

of Sudafed, no one asked a question. Yeah,

54:21

yeah. I mean I didn't have a laugh, I

54:23

didn't do that. And then I just remember, oh this is great. And then

54:25

I just smoked weed and I would

54:27

steal money from my parents and get weed. Made

54:30

meth, acid. Did you also like that

54:32

it allowed you to join

54:34

a group of people quite easily? Because that's

54:36

the other thing people leave out is a

54:38

lot of early addicts were also quite lonely

54:41

and it's a pretty turnkey group of friends.

54:43

And a non-judgmental group of friends. I always

54:45

only had one guy that I would hang

54:47

out with. Even later in life when I

54:49

did relapse, I'm a loner or user. I

54:51

don't go to bars, I'm just in a

54:54

hotel room. Getting darker and darker. Trap. Yeah,

54:56

dark. One time Andrew Santino came

54:58

to my hotel room once. I was blackout drunk

55:00

and he walked in and I had poo all

55:03

over my body just kind of like shaking. You remember that.

55:05

But when I was 17, I got sober. Did

55:09

your parents initiate that or did you say I needed

55:11

help? They didn't know what. They just thought you were

55:13

American. I didn't know anything. You

55:15

don't understand this, do you? We

55:18

had our kid in the middle. Yeah, but no at 13 they were like don't

55:20

be gay. At

55:22

17 they were like live.

55:24

Don't die. You could

55:26

see me dying. So I went to two or

55:28

three different places before McDonald's Center when I was

55:31

17. I got sober there and I met this

55:33

old Korean man by the name of Dan.

55:35

I just gave him a 40 year cake

55:37

last week in San Diego. But this old

55:40

Korean man who's an AA, who has long

55:42

white hair, he has tattoos, he's a biker

55:44

guy, but spoke fluent Korean. He became my

55:46

sponsor when I was a junior in high

55:49

school. And I stayed sober from then till

55:51

30 until I got on Mad TV and

55:53

then I relapsed. Okay, great. Back to really

55:56

just one last thing. You have this little

55:58

brother. Steve. How much now?

56:00

years you're getting blasted you knew that

56:02

was happening to you and I have

56:04

to assume you had to have known

56:06

it was happening to your little brother

56:08

I took the brunt of it because

56:10

my brother abided by the rules so

56:12

he would do everything he could to

56:14

not get in trouble so he took

56:16

the straight a route he took the

56:18

I'm in sports and activities and made

56:20

friends with people I took the other

56:22

route which is interesting but we both

56:24

experienced trauma but his trauma he

56:27

lashes out outwardly so he's

56:29

easy to snap and fight

56:31

and get into physical confrontations I go

56:34

within I punish myself so that's the

56:36

difference between us two that's a great

56:38

relief to me because I was thinking

56:40

probably even more heartbreaking for me than

56:42

the abuse taking it myself if I

56:44

was unable to help my little sister

56:46

through that that would have been way

56:48

worse for me so I'm glad Stevie

56:50

wasn't also adding to the inferno that

56:52

God although he did get some of

56:56

it but my mom especially one time she came to

56:59

my room it's like two in the morning

57:01

and my brother and I slipped in the same room and

57:03

she opened her mouth

57:05

and she had a tooth missing

57:08

and she was bleeding and then

57:10

my mom in Korean goes help

57:12

me with the door right so my brother and I

57:14

and my mom barricaded in

57:17

the morning and when I talk about it now

57:20

it's not as impactful because I've done EMDR on

57:22

this morning disconnected so I can talk about it

57:24

but I just remember it just

57:26

being like are we gonna die when

57:29

you wake up abruptly and you see

57:31

things like that it sucks it's war

57:33

yeah fuck the event itself it's

57:36

the notion that that can happen at any time

57:38

that fucks you up I think like once mom

57:40

comes in the room once at 2 a.m. with

57:42

the tooth out of her mouth your

57:45

logical assumption is when will

57:47

that happen again probably soon and you'll

57:49

just never have peace of mind after that

57:51

ability yes there's your mouth an option on

57:54

planet Earth is that mom comes in missing

57:56

some teeth and we got a fucking barricade

57:58

ourselves from the wild Bora in the living

58:00

room. It creates a permanent sense of unrest forever.

58:02

You know what I do, Dax? I just realized

58:05

this. I not only close my door in my

58:07

bedroom, I put stuff in front of

58:09

the door. Like a chest and another chair. I

58:11

have a big thing with the door closed too

58:13

and my wife's like, we have kids down the

58:15

hall and I'm like every man for themselves. They

58:18

should lock their door. We should lock their door.

58:20

Wow, wow, wow, wow. No, not locked, but I

58:22

want to at least hear the door get opened.

58:24

Yeah. What is that? Nicotine spray. Wow. Get that

58:26

Copenhagen. Oh, you're using the little

58:29

bandits. Yeah, little bandits. Yeah, those cute

58:31

little bandits. Okay, so you get on

58:33

mad TV, you make money. Back then

58:35

it was like sketch money, but you've

58:37

got like 22 paychecks coming. That's true.

58:40

Were you making pretty good living as a

58:42

standup at that point? No, but I went

58:44

from no money to, well, I did this

58:46

IBM commercial, so I had some money from

58:48

that. 60 grand on that. No, I made

58:53

350. Wow. Those were the, those were

58:55

the day. Oh my God. 350. It

58:57

was a campaign. For IBM,

58:59

Joe Pitka directed it. You know, it

59:01

was pretty good. Yeah, that doesn't happen

59:04

anymore. They don't do that anymore. But back then

59:06

you would see people go, how about, you know, yeah,

59:08

I bought something. Yeah, I bought an IBM. Yeah, yeah,

59:10

yeah. Yeah, I get on mad and getting a

59:13

weekly paycheck. I have my own apartment now

59:15

and I bought a car. So that's cool.

59:17

But what happened was, you know, I don't,

59:19

I've talked about this so much. Something happened

59:21

the first couple of weeks of mad where

59:23

I really hurt my feelings. And I just

59:26

instantly relapsed after 13 years. Wow. After

59:28

the insult. Was it a racial thing?

59:30

No, it was. You don't

59:33

have to share it if you don't want. No, it was just somebody from

59:35

the show that had some power who out

59:37

really said that he doesn't think that I'm

59:39

funny and I hurt my feelings. No offense

59:41

to the guy, you know? No offense to

59:43

the guy. Yeah, what? You're right. You

59:46

don't think someone's funny, you don't think I'm funny.

59:48

That is not an assault on anyone, but you're

59:50

already feeling like you don't belong there and he

59:52

confirms your biggest fear. Also, I had never been

59:54

on a TV show before. You're the first Asian

59:56

to be on a sketch show. Yeah. Yeah. You're

59:59

like, when is. the door gonna open up

1:00:01

and mom's coming in. Yeah, yeah. I mean, number

1:00:03

one, I don't know what a jib camera is.

1:00:05

I don't know what a mark is. I don't

1:00:07

know how to vocalize in front of a live

1:00:10

audience. I don't know anything. So you're learning all

1:00:12

that shit. I'm from stand up, so I've never

1:00:14

done a sketch class. Yeah, you have an active.

1:00:16

I've never written a character. I don't know any

1:00:19

of the shit. So imagine the pressure. I have

1:00:21

to kill this. And then you overhear that somebody

1:00:23

there who has some power doesn't think that I'm

1:00:25

funny. Yeah. That hurt me. Of

1:00:27

course. I was like, I'm gonna get out. And then

1:00:30

the next two years were just painful. Did

1:00:32

you go out drinking? No, so I couldn't

1:00:34

sleep. That night, when I heard that, a

1:00:36

friend of mine, Paul, had some valiums.

1:00:38

So I took about two valiums and I go, get

1:00:40

me bottles. You're back to the little boy in the

1:00:42

bedroom on two beers. Exactly. And then I started taking

1:00:44

it during the day. And then I'm like, what else?

1:00:46

So then, lichen was the thing. And I was taking

1:00:48

like 20 to 30 a day. It

1:00:51

didn't even work. When I tell people I was taking

1:00:53

30 plus a day. Yeah. I'm like, what

1:00:56

do you mean? I'm like, after the first four, they don't even work. You

1:00:58

take five at a time thinking like, well, that might

1:01:00

get me back to that initial. It's the worst. It's

1:01:02

the worst. I tell people all the time, like, go

1:01:04

ahead and be a drug addict. But I'm telling you,

1:01:06

skip that one. It's such a fucking way. You

1:01:09

can always get too drunk. Coke works.

1:01:11

Yeah. Meth works. Yeah.

1:01:14

Vicodin does not even work. The first four feel good.

1:01:16

But when it did work, dad, it was great. Yeah,

1:01:18

there's a minute at the right. You take that. The

1:01:20

feeling worked like, this is an amazing feeling. At that

1:01:22

same time, I was in the growlings and I was

1:01:25

eating quite a bit of Vicodins. And I'd go to

1:01:27

this dude's house. Coker was his name. Coker was the

1:01:29

dealer. And he had the bottles that the pharmacy had.

1:01:31

And he had dozens of them. I don't know what

1:01:34

the count of those bottles was, but a thousand or

1:01:36

something. And I'd go, oh, I need a hundred.

1:01:38

And he eyeballed it. It'd be like 150. I

1:01:40

mean, that's how free they were in 2002. I

1:01:44

should have known Coker about that. Yeah. Damn

1:01:46

it. I'm glad you didn't. Yeah, I had

1:01:48

to go to my friend Paul. But anyway,

1:01:50

second year in, I would get so sick

1:01:53

if I didn't have it. It's a sickness. I

1:01:55

don't ever want to experience again. It's like your

1:01:58

spine is about to snap. Your insides

1:02:00

are rattling the relapse four years ago.

1:02:03

It took a month before I felt

1:02:05

right Yeah at our age

1:02:07

going out. Oh, dude if I eat

1:02:09

a lot of cheese, I feel terrible

1:02:15

No, we're weak we're old we're not doing this

1:02:17

do you have any autoimmune issues What

1:02:19

does that mean autoimmune disease? There's a trillion

1:02:22

of them. I happen to have okay Monica.

1:02:24

Do you drink? Oh, are you seeing anybody?

1:02:26

No, so you're single. I'm single. I'm drinking

1:02:31

I Do

1:02:34

drink I don't think I'm an alcoholic But

1:02:37

I do like drinking and I like going on dates

1:02:39

with women when they have a glass of wine I want somebody to

1:02:41

be able to just do what they do. It gets

1:02:43

so habitual though. I get into phases

1:02:45

I'm sort of entering one where I

1:02:47

feel like I'm back in this habit

1:02:50

where it's part of the day finish work

1:02:52

or You're working on work and you

1:02:54

have a glass of wine and it just becomes part

1:02:56

of it and after a while I do think like

1:02:58

when was the last time I didn't Well,

1:03:00

I can tell you Bobby because we speak the

1:03:03

same language. So she has a frequency That

1:03:06

maybe has a question mark on it, but

1:03:08

she doesn't get hammered ever It's

1:03:11

not like she ever will drink four

1:03:13

glasses of wine sometimes. Okay, but rare

1:03:15

It's not like every night it becomes four glasses

1:03:17

in the mornings. You've never done it. Well, I've had

1:03:19

like mimosas Yeah, you're on a

1:03:22

Sunday with the girl We are whatever.

1:03:24

Yeah, sure. Sure. I

1:03:26

want to go. No, I'm not waking up and

1:03:28

pouring wine or drinking in the morning I

1:03:31

don't have anything like that And there's a part of

1:03:33

me that it's like if I did

1:03:35

that'd be easier. I would know that was

1:03:37

an actual problem This is

1:03:39

so gray. Yeah hers is very innocuous. I

1:03:42

think it's fine. It's nothing. It's fine You

1:03:44

know, it's funny Bobby you would love this

1:03:46

moment Monica and I had we were one

1:03:48

time driving through this neighborhood And I went

1:03:50

and grabbed a Perrier can out of her

1:03:52

cup holder We're in her car and I

1:03:54

go to take a sip and she screamed

1:03:57

no and my first thought was oh, there's

1:03:59

alcohol in here here and she had spit

1:04:01

in it. Oh wow wow

1:04:03

wow wow wow. But I said

1:04:05

I assumed there was alcohol in there. And

1:04:07

then she said wouldn't you be so alarmed

1:04:10

that I had alcohol in a Perrier thing?

1:04:12

And I go no. I

1:04:14

observe your life. I was watching his children

1:04:16

at the time. I don't see any rackage.

1:04:19

You're very dependable. You're not moody. Actually

1:04:21

one thing, anything of it. Yeah

1:04:23

you couldn't believe that. Well yeah I wouldn't either. Why?

1:04:26

Guys if you're in a car and someone

1:04:28

has a Perrier that they've replaced with alcohol.

1:04:31

It could be a great reason. I don't know

1:04:33

the circumstances why that Perrier is there. You know what

1:04:35

I mean? Because it's from last night. Yeah from last

1:04:37

night. Yes you wanted to have one on the way

1:04:39

to the bar. That's already. See you made a vodka

1:04:41

Perrier. That's fun. Keep it in the can. The cops

1:04:44

will know. That doesn't mean you're an alcoholic. You feel

1:04:46

like you'd be loose when you're behind the wheel. If

1:04:48

I was around anyone with that I would think that. It's

1:04:50

just so funny the evolution of all what happened

1:04:53

which is like I took a sip of her

1:04:55

spit. I transferred immediately into this crazy debate where

1:04:57

she was more troubled. By you. That

1:05:00

I wouldn't be troubled if she had

1:05:02

alcohol in me. Yeah. That was a

1:05:04

mess. That one four minute stretch might

1:05:06

summarize our entire existence. For real. Yeah.

1:05:10

Stay tuned for

1:05:12

more Grandma's Expe- If

1:05:15

you dare. Now

1:05:25

Jax why four years ago I've always wanted to ask

1:05:27

you did you go out? There's a long

1:05:29

version short version. I'll try to do a medium version. I had

1:05:32

broken my arm. I had a prescription

1:05:34

for Vicodin and Kristen handed

1:05:36

them out to me and I decided I would

1:05:38

not take those when I traveled back to Detroit

1:05:40

because I was going to see my dad who

1:05:42

was dying of cancer and she wouldn't be there

1:05:44

to administer the Vicodin. So while I was with

1:05:46

my dad and he had all these Percocets I

1:05:49

said you know what I have a prescription for

1:05:51

Vicodin at home. I'm going to take some of

1:05:53

these Percocets. That was eight

1:05:55

years into being sober. I had a total

1:05:57

meltdown. Kristen ended up coming to Detroit and

1:05:59

surprising. me. Did he pass? Two months later he

1:06:01

did. But again, here's the thing where like when I

1:06:04

read about you and your dad in your recent relapse,

1:06:06

it's like I would have told you I'm handling that

1:06:08

whole experience fine. I'm flying home once a week to

1:06:10

deal with his thing. The room's full of AA people.

1:06:12

I would tell you that it wasn't really having an

1:06:15

impact on me, but I did that thing. And

1:06:17

no one will like this. My dad

1:06:19

and I did sit in his living room looking out

1:06:21

over the lake and we were both on Percocet and

1:06:24

we're both sober. I don't hate that I had that

1:06:26

moment with my dad. I'd never party with my dad,

1:06:28

but we were both just kind of sitting there and

1:06:30

enjoying the thing. Next day I'm overwhelmed with guilt and

1:06:32

fear. Oh my god, I've relapsed. I'm gonna have to

1:06:34

reset my day. A person comes in. I confessed to

1:06:36

her what I did. I took this and I wasn't

1:06:38

prescribed that and blah, blah, blah. And she's like, look,

1:06:40

it's fine. You're here. I have that prescription.

1:06:42

You're not going to do it again. And you keep

1:06:44

it moving. And I was like, okay.

1:06:46

And I kept it moving. But that was almost

1:06:49

like when those owls that the falconer flies, they're

1:06:51

only supposed to eat the food from the trainer.

1:06:53

If they catch a mouse one time, danger. They're

1:06:55

going to want to hunt again. Because

1:06:57

I had that experience and really was fine

1:06:59

and opiates were never really my thing.

1:07:01

Over the years, I break a lot

1:07:03

of stuff. And when I would use opiates,

1:07:06

I was tricky. So she would administer them,

1:07:08

but I also would maybe not take them

1:07:10

at night so I could save up. And

1:07:12

in the morning I could take three times

1:07:15

the dosage. So we're in a very gray

1:07:17

area sporadically for several years. I certainly don't

1:07:19

think I need to come in and say

1:07:21

I need a new date, but I'm also

1:07:24

being a little tricky when I have them

1:07:26

prescribed. Okay. Then in rapid order, I break

1:07:28

my hand, all the bones across it. I

1:07:30

get all these pins in it. Why are

1:07:33

you breaking your arms? I'm

1:07:36

in a motorcycle racing off road. No,

1:07:38

we're going on Monday. All right. So

1:07:40

I get all these pins and

1:07:42

then I get a pretty healthy dose of real

1:07:45

good opiates for a while. Almost immediately after I

1:07:47

shatter my shoulder, my ribs, my thing on a

1:07:49

motorcycle. Now I have multiple surgeries. Now I'm on

1:07:51

a lot of opiates. What was very misleading about

1:07:53

the opiates compared to the other stuff is like,

1:07:56

if I drink, you will know in

1:07:58

one second because The second I'm

1:08:01

drunk, I'm gonna get coke. And when I

1:08:03

get coke, I do it for three days.

1:08:05

There's no version where I don't do it

1:08:07

for three days. There'd be no hiding. In

1:08:09

the most conventional sense, it's unmanageable. This was

1:08:12

very weird. I'm on opiates, I'm still doing

1:08:14

the podcast, I'm still very responsive and present

1:08:16

with my family, and I'm going, this is

1:08:18

weird, this isn't very unmanageable. This is fine.

1:08:20

Other than I know, you have

1:08:23

to keep upping your dosage because you get used

1:08:25

to it so quickly. Like, I'm not dumb. I

1:08:27

know that that's an issue. At this point in

1:08:29

your mind, did you know you relapsed? I think

1:08:32

I still had plausible deniability at that point. I

1:08:34

wasn't ready to accept that. It

1:08:36

was when I started buying them illegally. I

1:08:38

was like, okay, now we're

1:08:40

definitely doing something. And then

1:08:42

that lasted for a couple

1:08:44

months. And then I

1:08:47

decided I have to quit and I started to try to

1:08:49

do it on my own. And then

1:08:51

I was visibly going through detoxes and

1:08:53

then I copped to the whole thing.

1:08:55

Wow, it's just a sneaky sucker, huh?

1:08:57

So when I relapsed after 17 years,

1:09:00

I was doing my friend Sam Tripoli's show

1:09:03

at the main room and his

1:09:05

show was sponsored by a weed company. And I have

1:09:07

17 years sobriety. You already fucked up on Mad TV,

1:09:09

you got sober again and now you have 17 years

1:09:11

again. I did 13 and then 17. For

1:09:14

me, it's always, I just stopped going to meetings

1:09:16

and stopped calling my sponsor. And this is years.

1:09:18

Cause you think you can do it. F's time,

1:09:20

15, 16 years. Don't

1:09:22

even think about this stuff. Yeah, so I'm

1:09:24

sitting there and this guy that owns this

1:09:27

weed company goes, hey, we have a

1:09:29

package when people do the show. And I go, I'm

1:09:31

sober. He's like, oh cool, but I have a CBD

1:09:34

thing. And I go, what's a CBD

1:09:36

thing? I don't know what it is. What

1:09:39

do you stand for? And he goes, this oil

1:09:41

has 1% THC in it. Just

1:09:43

to activate the CBD. Right, but if you just do

1:09:46

the dosage, you're not going to feel it. So I

1:09:48

drank the whole thing. Yes, of course. And I got

1:09:50

paused. So I went back next week, cause my stomach

1:09:52

hurt because you're not supposed to drink. Of course. That's

1:09:54

all oil. So my stomach really was in pain. So

1:09:56

I go, hey, do you have one that's like 50%?

1:09:59

And started getting. better and then I started getting

1:10:01

99% THC, 1% CBD

1:10:03

and obviously I had relapse and it was

1:10:05

just that easy. Did you know at that point

1:10:08

when it was 99%? I think when I

1:10:10

drink that whole bottle for that 1% I

1:10:12

knew there's something really strange about this. I

1:10:14

think a lot of people who have relapsed

1:10:16

will relate to this. You're distracted at first

1:10:19

with the thought of just

1:10:21

making sure no one knows. You forget

1:10:23

that you didn't ever get sober for

1:10:25

anyone else. You got sober

1:10:27

because you were miserable but at some

1:10:29

point in sobriety I started telling myself

1:10:31

this thought, well if no one knows

1:10:33

and I'm focused on them and then

1:10:35

again deciding to ignore like well I

1:10:37

know and I can't really live that

1:10:39

way. First I thought it's can I

1:10:41

get away with it but you ignore

1:10:43

the fact that like you know. The

1:10:45

problem is the eight years of real

1:10:47

sobriety you have, that never goes away

1:10:49

so that's in your mind and your

1:10:51

heart. You know now. Yeah and I

1:10:53

was sad and missed that purity I

1:10:55

felt. That first eight years there was nothing

1:10:58

on my report card that you could have said

1:11:00

was tricky and then I had several

1:11:02

years of just that was in the back

1:11:04

of my mind. I still only had them

1:11:06

when they were prescribed to me. All these

1:11:08

other ways I would justify it but it

1:11:10

never had that super clean feeling that those

1:11:13

first eight years had. There are moments in

1:11:15

pure sobriety that is just the most joyous

1:11:17

I've ever been. I know. And

1:11:19

those days you're like why don't I recognize

1:11:21

I am so much happier this way. I

1:11:23

know. The freedom and also your

1:11:25

belief that everything is going to work out. You're

1:11:27

not looking into the future and going what if

1:11:30

this happens and this happens. You're just really in

1:11:32

the present moment just like I'm

1:11:34

here. I'm free and I have

1:11:36

peace. Those occasions are rare but

1:11:39

I never had them. No when

1:11:41

you go like I don't need

1:11:43

anything to feel okay is the

1:11:45

most miraculous feeling you can have.

1:11:47

It's amazing. There's so much of

1:11:49

your life you can convince you can't feel okay without

1:11:52

something. Especially growing up going through all the experiences. I

1:11:54

was never taught these tools and this way of living.

1:11:56

There was no internet. I'm just

1:11:58

in this violent house. chaos driving

1:12:00

you want to talk about the movie there yeah

1:12:03

we're getting there by the way this

1:12:05

is about the time I would always

1:12:07

start talking about the movie yeah really

1:12:09

we always do we're always do two

1:12:11

hours it's insane yeah what is your

1:12:13

show not only one hour and you're

1:12:15

out yeah congratulations oh thank you I'm

1:12:18

bad friend oh thank you

1:12:20

it's enormous you like you're the king well

1:12:22

I don't know that I'm the king but

1:12:24

I know I'm

1:12:26

genuinely happy for you and Andrew so much

1:12:28

you guys have a wonderful living off of

1:12:30

doing podcasts right obviously him and I both had

1:12:33

decent careers before it yeah but the fan base

1:12:35

when it comes to podcasting is a completely different

1:12:37

kind of relationship you have with them when I

1:12:39

see them in the streets it's not weird them

1:12:41

I love them so much I know I just

1:12:44

don't know why you don't do it on video

1:12:46

we know why yeah we do know why alright

1:12:48

I'll tell you the assets of it and then

1:12:50

you tell me the cons of it I'll give

1:12:52

you the pros and let's have this debate yeah

1:12:55

right now settle here and for

1:12:57

all I still believe mine's the right way

1:13:00

I think yours is the right way I think

1:13:02

Theo's is the right way all right yeah

1:13:04

okay so number one

1:13:09

you're gonna reach a broader audience yes

1:13:11

for sure and definitely more males males

1:13:13

love consuming things on YouTube it's a

1:13:15

very male-dominated platform I

1:13:17

already kind of feel what your

1:13:20

cons are but you know I agree

1:13:22

with you that you did that no

1:13:24

yeah what's my word how about you

1:13:26

not say no non-found what is rose

1:13:28

I forgot my word already no no

1:13:30

no yeah all right so number one

1:13:32

a bigger

1:13:34

audience number two it's more money

1:13:36

and number three it becomes more

1:13:38

like a TV show almost when

1:13:40

you have guests it's like the

1:13:42

reoccurring and the sitcom I already

1:13:45

feel like I've lost the thing

1:13:47

I'm drowning I'm drowning I think one of your

1:13:49

cons is gonna be alive yeah well you guests

1:13:51

won't be as vulnerable but you can be vulnerable

1:13:54

with the cameras on as well you can I

1:13:56

can we go to a we're

1:13:58

used to being stared at saying

1:14:00

crazy stuff. We've had a bunch

1:14:02

of episodes and they are among our best

1:14:04

ones that I am certain wouldn't have happened

1:14:06

if they had a camera pointed at them.

1:14:08

I think there's a magic, there's two things

1:14:10

I would say to push back. A, I

1:14:12

love other people's video stuff. I think Theo's

1:14:14

show is so fucking great. I just watched

1:14:16

you on it again this morning. It's so

1:14:18

fucking funny. I just adore him. I love

1:14:21

that. I think that we wanna get the

1:14:23

conversations we have if people saw a camera

1:14:25

pointed at them. One, You don't

1:14:27

know that yet though. Totally, I'm guessing at

1:14:29

that. Two, I don't

1:14:32

like people being distracted by how people look. I

1:14:34

don't want them to have to go through hair

1:14:36

and makeup and I don't want people watching when

1:14:38

I'm like, oh yeah, she looks pretty good or

1:14:40

she doesn't look pretty good. Or she must've got

1:14:43

her eyes done or her chin lift. I want

1:14:45

you to be listening to what's in this person's

1:14:47

soul and not distracted

1:14:49

by evaluating how they look.

1:14:53

Oh. You're cringing at the notion

1:14:55

of that? Or? What I

1:14:57

wanna say to you is you won the

1:14:59

argument because I'll tell you why. I'll tell

1:15:01

you why. I feel far more relaxed, this

1:15:06

experience because usually I'm so aware

1:15:08

of the time. Uh-huh. Like, okay,

1:15:10

we've gotta be at 45. But

1:15:12

this time I literally went, I think we did 45 and

1:15:15

I looked and we did double that. Yes, because

1:15:17

it's a state of flow. I'm still gonna stay

1:15:19

on video. No, you do. I

1:15:22

love video. I love video

1:15:24

and you're doing much more comedy than we are.

1:15:26

It's different types of shows too. My

1:15:29

third thing I wanna say is the

1:15:32

singular auditory experience

1:15:35

to me is such an

1:15:37

antidote to the fucking stimuli that

1:15:40

we're overwhelmed with. So like I

1:15:43

do it. I listen to this show. I

1:15:45

listen to other shows that are only audio.

1:15:47

I now can't hear any other thing. I

1:15:49

enter this weird kind of sacred space. I

1:15:51

listen to This American Life when I land

1:15:53

that. Oh, great is that. Right? I love

1:15:55

Ira. I listen to the Moth Stories podcast

1:15:57

and they're not on video. And I lay

1:15:59

in bed. I closed my eyes

1:16:01

and if those two things were on

1:16:03

video, I don't think I would see it.

1:16:05

No, it's also Intimacy,

1:16:08

there's a lot of intimacy and you block

1:16:10

out every other thing or at least for

1:16:12

me when I'm working out listening to a

1:16:14

podcast Or I'm hiking that's actually white noise

1:16:17

and I'm like in another time and space but

1:16:19

when I'm watching stuff I'm also looking at my

1:16:21

kids. I'm looking at the room. There's another argument

1:16:24

though. People listen to my podcast, too I'm just

1:16:26

giving them a second option. Absolutely. But the gas

1:16:28

part the gas Absolutely, correct.

1:16:30

I think you want it. I think

1:16:32

you're better brighter than me, right?

1:16:34

Literally you want this conversation My

1:16:37

mind is completely turned around. I came in with

1:16:39

this like I'm gonna live in some way liberate

1:16:42

them I'm gonna liberate them and I failed miserably.

1:16:44

I think you're right. I want to say So

1:16:49

I'm here because I'm promoting a movie

1:16:51

I know but it's actually a very easy

1:16:54

segue because the movie that you're here to

1:16:56

promote Sweet dreams is about sobriety. Yeah, I'll

1:16:58

be honest with you when I was shooting

1:17:00

this thing I didn't know you know, sometimes

1:17:02

you're on a set and you're like, I don't know You mean

1:17:04

you don't know it's gonna turn out and you don't even know

1:17:06

what movie you're in cuz both happens No, I do what movie

1:17:08

I was in. I just think this might not be good. Oh

1:17:10

sure. Sure Because of the parameters

1:17:12

because of the low budget because it's a softball

1:17:14

movie as well I thought the stakes seemed not

1:17:17

high enough you would show up and there was

1:17:19

like not a lot of people in the stands

1:17:22

It was more gorilla filmmaking and I

1:17:24

just didn't know the tone really but

1:17:26

I trusted Elijah and his notes and

1:17:28

his direction but last week I saw

1:17:31

the movie and also I've been in

1:17:33

some movies I've never seen myself

1:17:36

on the big screen. You haven't long time ago

1:17:38

I was in held in Kumar and I went

1:17:40

to that screening I remember seeing my big gigantic

1:17:42

Korean head on the screen. I go

1:17:44

look at that bobble head I literally had like

1:17:46

a visceral negative kind of a experience. I ran

1:17:49

out of the theater. It's never nice Look at

1:17:51

that bobble head and so I never did but

1:17:54

this one I sat through it because it

1:17:56

was about sobriety And I watched it and

1:17:58

I have to say Dax Number

1:18:00

one, I think it's the best

1:18:03

movie I've ever seen when it comes to portraying

1:18:05

AA meetings. Okay, because it's always a disaster when

1:18:07

they do it. Everyone's so serious exactly. It's in

1:18:09

a gymnasium. It's always a circle of some sort.

1:18:11

In a gym, I've never been to a meeting

1:18:14

in a gym. Yeah, never! I've never in my

1:18:16

life! And the thousands of meetings that was it.

1:18:18

I've been to churches, I've been to like, you

1:18:20

know, people's houses. Yeah, even like schools I've been

1:18:22

to. And they're always like, you know, that line

1:18:25

in the big book it says, we are not

1:18:27

a glum lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. It's always

1:18:29

a glum lot. The person's always delivering the monologue,

1:18:31

please release my family from this. Yeah,

1:18:34

so this is the first movie where

1:18:36

I was watching it and there was a couple

1:18:38

of scenes between Jay Moore's in

1:18:41

it. You know, Jay plays Johnny's

1:18:43

sponsor. Johnny Knoxville. There are scenes

1:18:45

between them doing a sponsor-sponsee kind

1:18:47

of conversation where I went, oh,

1:18:50

that felt real. They got it. Yeah. Yeah,

1:18:52

I don't know if I've ever seen it

1:18:54

done right. Me either. That's great.

1:18:56

There's a lot of laughter. And

1:18:59

joy. I've walked out of the meetings going,

1:19:01

that was like better than a play or

1:19:03

a party or whatever. Right. That was fun.

1:19:05

And that's never portrayed. And because Lise, the

1:19:07

director, is a member of the program, he

1:19:10

outwardly says it. Well, good. If he says

1:19:12

it, then he has. OK,

1:19:14

so when we were shooting these A meetings,

1:19:17

you know, all the background were

1:19:19

people from his men's meeting. Oh,

1:19:21

awesome. Right. That was perfect. It's

1:19:23

perfect. Right. A spattering of actors,

1:19:25

but everyone I know from the room.

1:19:28

Right. And they're giving the real reaction.

1:19:30

Right. They weren't in a circle. They

1:19:32

were kind of disheveled. Everyone's so fucking

1:19:34

unique in A. Yeah, yeah. And

1:19:37

you have guys with a lot of time there, too.

1:19:39

So when I'm watching it, I'm like, I think I

1:19:41

got the tone really right. And also, you know, obviously,

1:19:43

there's some things I have problems with. But I think

1:19:46

in general, if you want to watch a movie that

1:19:49

portrays people getting sober,

1:19:51

this is pretty real. They did not give

1:19:53

me a screen or anything. I only got to watch

1:19:55

the trailer. But I would love to see that because,

1:19:57

of course, every time I see AAM. I'm

1:20:00

like, ooh, who would want to go to

1:20:02

a meeting? It's Theo Vaughn's first movie. It's

1:20:04

Chelsea Lynn who plays trailer trash Tammy online.

1:20:07

It's her first movie. Yeah, the cast is

1:20:09

wild. Mo Ammer, Kate Upton, Gata, who I

1:20:11

love him. Fucking love. Did you talk to

1:20:13

him at all? Oh, yeah. I love Gata.

1:20:15

Yeah. Tell me about Gata. He's an anomaly,

1:20:17

you know? He's really bipolar, right? Really bipolar.

1:20:21

He had drugs and alcohol in his family.

1:20:23

His parents both died from it. But Gata

1:20:25

is just a kind, warm guy. I mean,

1:20:27

I'm not familiar with his music. Right. Great.

1:20:30

I stick with the clash in the Velvet

1:20:32

Underground. That's pretty much my wheelhouse. That's a

1:20:34

nice phone for you. Sometimes Pixies. We could

1:20:36

share a road trip together with that playlist.

1:20:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Joy Division,

1:20:41

whatnot. And you know, this melody. New order.

1:20:44

I'm getting half-hard right now. Like the island. Can I get

1:20:46

Ellen Furs a little bit? If you want an island, do

1:20:48

it. A little modern English. That should have

1:20:50

been part of the question. Like, you're on an

1:20:52

island, it's you and Brad Pitt, but

1:20:55

also is there any music? Because that would make

1:20:57

a big difference. I know that Brad likes the

1:20:59

same kind of music I do, because I know

1:21:01

he's a huge Radiohead fan. Jeff Buckley. Oh,

1:21:04

love Jeff Buckley. Yeah, yeah. So I

1:21:06

think we would have related on that. Also, one last thing

1:21:08

about Brad Pitt. I thought him in a Coon Brothers movie.

1:21:10

The Coon Brothers movie. Burned after reading. Burned after reading. And

1:21:12

my brother and I both admit, he probably is

1:21:14

one of the best comedic performances of any actor

1:21:16

I've ever seen. He's so funny in that

1:21:18

fucking movie. Him on the treadmill. If it

1:21:21

were anyone else, I'd be mad. Why?

1:21:24

Well, like when Timber like hosted Sarian Live, come on,

1:21:26

this guy's one of the best hosts of all time.

1:21:28

He never did sketch comedy. And

1:21:30

he's also a samurai and sing like that.

1:21:33

Yeah, yeah. What am I going to do?

1:21:35

I know, I know. I was in the

1:21:37

growlings. I can't host it. I know. You

1:21:39

see guys that can do it all, and

1:21:41

you just kind of go, I can't do

1:21:43

nothing. I've been thinking that a lot about

1:21:45

Walton Goggins. You know Walton Goggins. Did you

1:21:47

watch Vice Principles or Righteous Gemstones? Yeah, I

1:21:49

love Righteous. So he's Uncle Baby Billy. Oh,

1:21:51

wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But He's also

1:21:53

the best dramatic actor on planet. Earth. I'm watching something

1:21:55

right now where he's like a fucking noseless cowboy. And

1:21:57

I'm like, how can this guy do that? Marlow

1:22:00

a pegged as I love the game

1:22:02

with you see the fucking show you

1:22:04

play the game know never played it,

1:22:06

didn't even know was a game when

1:22:08

I was watching a place to play

1:22:10

in. Ah new not have thought I

1:22:12

know I know now I want to

1:22:14

go those shows so good it's one

1:22:16

of the greatest games rpg of all

1:22:18

types Rob have you played at. Have

1:22:21

you live in are thought to see what

1:22:23

are we have your arms and along route

1:22:26

their families and that left right after a

1:22:28

fuss as though who makes role playing game

1:22:30

The other one of the producers yes Adidas

1:22:32

Elder Scrolls which is like Sky Ram in

1:22:34

Oblivion that series again Eames i'm fine email

1:22:37

and wasn't one of my questions. I'm a

1:22:39

part of the human race my to put

1:22:41

a pop culture is a great yeah you're

1:22:43

just plug them So Jordan Peele one time

1:22:45

years ago when we're a brow who were

1:22:48

at a Gamestop and he got ya. Magic

1:22:50

that a play Moral Wind. Which is an

1:22:52

elder school and ever since he recommended that

1:22:54

I've been into Best as A. But my

1:22:56

point is is that follow you have a

1:22:58

Playstation don't have any system. No way to

1:23:01

be so nervous right now you're acting weird

1:23:03

while since I've we were on such a

1:23:05

good run. Know regular hours and modern than

1:23:07

you. know that the I understand So how

1:23:09

many episodes you and I have? Fifteen minutes.

1:23:11

Last of the finale we interviewed Jonah Known

1:23:14

and Cry Desires. I know what that show

1:23:16

was preproduction I called my age as I

1:23:18

go. I don't care. I'll be back Round.

1:23:20

Get. Me on this. I couldn't get

1:23:23

anything use you because there's really fun

1:23:25

little just last name. Fred Armisen pops

1:23:27

up. When are you

1:23:29

know My father asked. About

1:23:32

followed up. With a

1:23:34

fall out of the producers I'll be background

1:23:36

and okay I'll do anything I'd ever get

1:23:38

to do. Cool said. But and he was

1:23:40

the says move on. So classes of a

1:23:43

fall off? Yeah, so how much of that

1:23:45

show isn't fault lies? Oh great question. I

1:23:47

would save thirty percent of. Okay,

1:23:49

so second question, Is there

1:23:51

nineteen fifties music? Enough. Yes,

1:23:54

so one of the cool things as the a

1:23:56

static of it is retro futuristic that's with the

1:23:58

game as it is All

1:24:00

the TV sets are from the 50s. They

1:24:02

drive a lot of bobblehead in it Is there

1:24:05

a blossom? Is there like posters with a guy

1:24:07

in a vault suit a cartoon drawing and

1:24:09

he has blonde hair or whatever? That detail

1:24:11

may have escaped. Is the vault door a circle?

1:24:13

Yes, it's a circle, but then it also

1:24:15

has like a sprocket wood Yes, so it

1:24:17

can roll. Oh fuck. Yeah on the track.

1:24:19

Are there ghouls in it? Yeah,

1:24:23

he's going to watch I'm gonna watch it you're gonna

1:24:25

flip what are you talking about Walt for guys? We

1:24:27

were talking about people that were really good at both

1:24:29

things and Brad was really funny. You're good at

1:24:31

what you're a deceiver That's

1:24:35

a weird compliment. Yeah, I'll tell you why you're

1:24:37

a deceiver. Okay in my mind I'm like, oh,

1:24:39

well I can talk about the movie and I'll

1:24:41

get that out of here, right? Oh You're

1:24:46

very good at going let's go this way That

1:24:49

way so all of a sudden I'm talking about something that

1:24:51

has nothing to do with the movie Yeah, but I'm not

1:24:53

gonna play your games anymore Nor should you see ever and

1:24:55

I'm not gonna do this. All right, you know, we're here

1:24:57

to talk about sweet dreams Yeah in theaters for 12 24

1:24:59

and on VOD for 16 Yeah,

1:25:03

I was about to read that cast we got

1:25:05

kind of interrupted but Johnny Knox fells in it

1:25:07

How'd you get on with PJ because I have

1:25:09

a funny story when I interviewed him. I told

1:25:11

the story I just felt like he never liked

1:25:13

me this I would try to be friendly to

1:25:15

him many times and I think maybe he's too

1:25:17

Cool for me Dax. I want to say something.

1:25:19

I do the same thing. Okay, good I have

1:25:21

these stories in my head. Yeah, right that a

1:25:23

certain actor or somebody in the business or even

1:25:25

Netflix Like I do this thing where

1:25:27

Netflix hates Institution

1:25:30

of it, right in reality They don't even

1:25:32

think about me and it's like that actor

1:25:35

and then you meet the guy and they're

1:25:37

like I've always loved you and I spent

1:25:39

three years of my life thinking about them

1:25:41

every day something happened yesterday morning So last

1:25:43

week there's a comic and I want to

1:25:45

say his name. I love him now But

1:25:47

we grew up together in comedy and

1:25:50

we were always kind of rivals in a weird

1:25:52

way And then when my podcast started blowing up

1:25:54

a little bit I started talking a little shit

1:25:56

and so anyway, I hadn't seen this guy in

1:25:58

15 years and he was at the comedy

1:26:01

store, talented guy, and I saw him and

1:26:03

I went, hey! And I hugged

1:26:05

him, and I reached my hand out to

1:26:07

his wife, and I go, hi, what's up,

1:26:09

it's so- Hi, Brenda. Hey, Brenda,

1:26:11

Brenda. Hi, Brenda. That's

1:26:13

your birthday, everything, the name Brenda. And

1:26:15

she didn't shake my hand. Oh. Well,

1:26:18

good for her. In my head, I'm like- She's protective

1:26:20

of her man. She's protective of her man. Yeah. And

1:26:22

in my head, I'm like, because I'm trying to really

1:26:24

be in sobriety, and I want to make amends and

1:26:26

make it right, I put my

1:26:28

hand back, I hugged him, and I walked away,

1:26:30

and I went into shame. Yes,

1:26:33

of course. So then I wrote him a

1:26:36

message the next day, and I go, over the

1:26:38

years, I might have said some things I regret,

1:26:40

I'm so sorry, you know, if you want to

1:26:42

meet for coffee, I'm willing to do that. And

1:26:44

so he goes, I'm fine, but thanks, right? Then

1:26:47

yesterday morning, I get a DM from

1:26:49

his wife. Brenda. Brenda, she goes, I

1:26:51

didn't do that. Oh. She

1:26:53

goes, I didn't see your hand. He didn't even know.

1:26:55

She goes, I didn't even see your hand. Yeah. I

1:26:58

didn't even have made amends. Yeah. Yeah, right. I made

1:27:00

amends for a reason. Well, I know. I

1:27:03

feel better. Yeah. You made it for

1:27:05

you anyway. But I do that to

1:27:07

myself where I perceive something, then I

1:27:09

believe it to be completely true. Fear,

1:27:11

false evidence appearing real. Yes. And

1:27:13

you and I share the same thing, I believe.

1:27:15

Coming in here, I immediately assume like we've

1:27:18

had limited interactions, but I feel like

1:27:20

I've always really enjoyed any time

1:27:22

I've seen you. Yeah. Do you have good feelings about me,

1:27:24

or do you have any story about me? Be

1:27:27

honest, Bobby. So

1:27:31

yeah, I thought maybe that you didn't like me.

1:27:33

What? Yeah, in my head. Out of nothing? No,

1:27:35

I'll tell you why. Tell me why. Because

1:27:39

I should have had you on earlier. No, no,

1:27:41

that's not what it is. Oh, that's what I

1:27:43

just thought. No, that's not what it is. OK.

1:27:45

That to me, I don't know why you bring me

1:27:47

this thought. It's weird. But let's be like, all right, that's great.

1:27:50

I love it. All right. Getting me on earlier,

1:27:53

I Know the level of guests you get. You Don't have

1:27:55

a lot of comics. You get a lot of huge actors.

1:27:58

I Get it, man.! Me and Andrew, we've always talked. They're

1:28:00

highly of it. Like was he's killing someone

1:28:02

time I know it's and my has by

1:28:04

now talking to you. Can we do here

1:28:06

for the last hour and a half. So

1:28:09

I was on a show called Animal Practice.

1:28:11

He was a sitcom and you're on a

1:28:13

show that was in the same area. I

1:28:16

know this because I think you do The Russo

1:28:18

Brothers at Universal or at one was at Paramount.

1:28:20

Mother's was great as I've never worked on. Pair

1:28:22

of the guy that you're a guest. our something

1:28:25

is Community was there to give a guest on

1:28:27

community. I didn't You were there though. Okay, great

1:28:29

Obama lot. I know those I have shot commercials

1:28:31

and stuff there's out about the a way you

1:28:33

are behind the martyrs. I know why you're there,

1:28:35

but you're standing right behind me. Right. Or A

1:28:38

as I remember turning. I've only got does Dax

1:28:40

Shepard? I know you. it wasn't your Mchale right?

1:28:42

right? right? It It was deck suffer as high

1:28:44

as a class really quick. How many. Years ago

1:28:46

this was a must have been. Fifteen

1:28:48

years ago. Oh wow okay very the

1:28:51

way back I'd have this resentment for

1:28:53

business or not. This a try me

1:28:55

to error turning around. I hate acts.

1:28:58

As you didn't respond to me like you're

1:29:00

looking at the monitors I guess watching the

1:29:02

scene or something in my head I was

1:29:04

like oh he doesn't like me. I.

1:29:07

Carry that with me. This.

1:29:09

Whole time was enemy. I'm. So

1:29:11

sorry the that house and what is a

1:29:13

for hold on. I don't have any memory

1:29:15

that I have other memories of genuinely adoring

1:29:17

you. and we have mutual friends and I'm

1:29:19

Rob always unnamed clear are you in Rome?

1:29:22

Light of the order? Well for real. Wow.

1:29:24

There won't be no rock. Sioux

1:29:29

Falls in I'll he is a big big

1:29:31

Bobby Lee fan talks about you all the

1:29:33

time in a door Your how I made

1:29:35

him Yes we you admit to it via

1:29:37

okay I was doing a lives and of

1:29:39

show and I had Chris what's. How ski

1:29:41

area in his show. I did his

1:29:44

show a good Christmas houses out and

1:29:46

then you came to one of my

1:29:48

shows. He said tragic photographs of my

1:29:50

life. And. Rosenbaum was on my

1:29:52

cell see became friends with Rosie and

1:29:54

then that's I know you're producing badass

1:29:56

than a say those are your dad

1:29:59

says does arrive. And then Rachel

1:30:01

Beals said, and all these fucking gigs, right?

1:30:03

And I'm like, I fucking do that.

1:30:06

And it was a good job. And then

1:30:08

he came too. Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't do it.

1:30:10

Rob, I already gave you compliments, and you have a

1:30:12

skill set, and I admire you. Well, you know what,

1:30:15

the greatest thing, because I know that that's the beginning

1:30:17

of he and Rosenbaum, that he approached Rosenbaum. He was

1:30:19

like, you should have a website, and you should have

1:30:21

this. Here's a self-starter in a way that I respect

1:30:23

so much, which is like, I'm humble,

1:30:26

let me build this website for you, let me

1:30:28

take pictures, you don't have anyone taking fun pictures

1:30:30

of you, offering a service asking for nothing. It

1:30:32

leads to a podcast with Rosenbaum. I go to

1:30:34

Rosenbaum's podcast, we both know Rosenbaum, he can't make

1:30:36

cereal in the morning. I'm like, how's this thing

1:30:38

run so well? Oh, it's gotta be

1:30:41

that guy. And then I say to Rosie, could I

1:30:43

use him as well? And now we're here. His version

1:30:45

of getting to here, I love.

1:30:47

What's your version? That's my version, I give a lot

1:30:49

of credit to you. It's so crazy. It's

1:30:52

crazy that you say that, because obviously,

1:30:54

Dax had no idea. You're now a

1:30:56

deceiver. And now

1:30:58

you're doing shadow play, and I don't like it.

1:31:02

Most recently, Bobby, back to your video being

1:31:04

great, I watch all these clips on Theo's

1:31:06

clip. I see you

1:31:08

on all these video podcasts, and

1:31:11

100% of the time, I'm like, Bobby

1:31:14

Lee is so fucking funny, and

1:31:17

so open, and so pleasant,

1:31:19

and can play like no one can

1:31:22

play. You just bounce into all these

1:31:24

different little ecosystems, and

1:31:26

every time you deliver, and

1:31:28

I just literally look at you with great affinity.

1:31:30

Can you hear it? The compliment? What I just

1:31:32

said. Okay, Monica, I'm gonna say this, and then

1:31:35

I'm gonna make a statement right now, and let

1:31:37

it forever be true. I know

1:31:39

from now on, for the

1:31:41

rest of my life, that you guys are all

1:31:43

friends, not even acquaintances anymore. We shouldn't, shit, for

1:31:45

real, because you and I never had deep conversations.

1:31:47

We didn't get to do this ever. We never

1:31:50

did that. But I feel like from now on

1:31:52

in life, every time I see

1:31:54

Dax anywhere, there's gonna be pure love. Always.

1:31:56

But I did not feel that yesterday.

1:31:59

Okay. Oh man, are you holding

1:32:01

you a little bit assumed? Like I love

1:32:03

everyone that's sober. You gotta be a real

1:32:05

piece of shit for me to not feel

1:32:07

a bond with someone. Like so soon as

1:32:09

I knew too that we were the same,

1:32:12

I'm always rooting for you and I feel

1:32:14

an immediate kinship with you. Okay, okay, okay.

1:32:17

I'm sorry, I just told you that. I

1:32:19

already told you that, okay. I had a

1:32:21

wrong thing, it's so funny. That it's always

1:32:23

the case. Whatever going on in this fucking

1:32:25

sick mind of mine, there are narratives and

1:32:27

storylines that are uneven true that I believe

1:32:29

and it's insane. We must have gotten it right

1:32:31

at some point where we got so confident in these

1:32:34

stories we tell, right? I mean, there had to be

1:32:36

some moment of proof that we were right. Are they

1:32:38

true because my narrative was Netflix doesn't like me because

1:32:40

I would audition for a show and not get it,

1:32:42

but it's like that's asking life. Right, exactly. Why don't

1:32:45

I make the storyline that they hate me? Yeah, yeah,

1:32:47

yeah. It's putting yourself at the center

1:32:49

of things that you're not necessarily at the center of.

1:32:51

Right. One of the favorite

1:32:53

things I've learned in AA, which is

1:32:55

self-pity is the same level of self-obsession

1:32:57

as self-aggrandizement. The universe

1:32:59

doesn't care about you one way or another. It

1:33:01

doesn't care enough about you to harm you and

1:33:04

conspire against you and you're not hot shit and

1:33:06

it's rewarding you. You have the same pieces as

1:33:08

you have everyone else and no one's even playing

1:33:10

and thinking about you. It's such an interesting thing.

1:33:12

We all do it though. You do it too,

1:33:14

Monica? Oh yeah, everyone does it. There's different

1:33:16

levels of it. Yes, I think it's

1:33:19

a human thing. But I've gotten trouble

1:33:21

by believing in these narratives because then all

1:33:23

of a sudden I start

1:33:26

wars with people that aren't even real.

1:33:28

You have to pull yourself up on that.

1:33:31

I've done that on podcasts where I've started

1:33:33

wars with people and then they come onto

1:33:35

my podcast and he goes, whoa, dude, I'm

1:33:37

always like, what the fuck is going on

1:33:39

here? I was like, oh, what is that

1:33:41

good? Sweet Dreams. Sweet Dreams. So it's a

1:33:43

softball movie. It's basically a movie about a

1:33:45

bunch of guys in a halfway house and

1:33:48

they also happen to play on a softball

1:33:50

team. Knoxville plays the lead. He plays a

1:33:52

guy named Morris and he's hit a bottom.

1:33:54

He goes to this halfway house. He goes

1:33:56

through all the things that people do early

1:33:58

days in sobriety, vomiting. wanting to be

1:34:00

there, rebelling, all that kind of stuff. Feeling

1:34:02

unique. Right, and obviously, Me Thio and Dumbfounded

1:34:05

and all these people live with

1:34:07

him at this halfway house, and he gets it.

1:34:09

He has sort of an awakening. He gets a

1:34:11

sponsor, starts doing it, and then we also happen

1:34:13

to play softball. It's this cute, small movie that

1:34:15

I think has a lot of heart. Yeah. I'm

1:34:17

excited. Me too, I'm really excited to see the

1:34:19

A stuff. What was your softball skill before you

1:34:21

started? Because I had to play softball in a

1:34:24

movie and I couldn't sleep the night before. What

1:34:27

do you mean? Because I had never played it in my whole

1:34:29

life. The first time I'm ever going to be playing baseball is

1:34:31

going to be on camera. No one's thinking in their head like,

1:34:33

oh, we need an athlete. Let's get Bobby in the movie. Right?

1:34:35

You know, should we get a body double? In fact, I

1:34:37

did a movie with Rosenbaum called Kick It In Old School,

1:34:40

and I danced so bad that they had to

1:34:42

get me a body double. But you were in

1:34:44

a breakdancing team in high school. What happened? Oh,

1:34:47

okay. I was in Jabbawockeez. Okay. Yeah,

1:34:49

so I did the breakdancing movie and they got a

1:34:51

Filipino girl. Oh, boy. So

1:34:53

if you watch that movie, all the body shots are

1:34:55

a woman doing it anyway. So I'm not good at

1:34:57

it, but I have to be honest. I think that

1:34:59

Johnny's great at softball. He's an athletic. Yes, big time.

1:35:02

I think he was super into baseball as a kid

1:35:04

as well. Yeah, Gator, a guy named Brian Van Halt

1:35:06

was great. I think that I was mid-level, but

1:35:08

there were some guys that were terrible. Did you love

1:35:10

being around J. Moore because he was one of my

1:35:12

favorites when I first moved to L.A.? I wanted to

1:35:14

say something about him right now. But it

1:35:16

would be starting another war? No, it's a

1:35:18

great thing. Oh, okay, good. We've seen people transform

1:35:21

in this business especially. He's done such a 180

1:35:23

turnaround in his life. Whenever

1:35:25

I see him, I want to cry. He's

1:35:27

such a great example of somebody that's really

1:35:29

doing the deal and really turned

1:35:32

his life around. And I really love that guy

1:35:34

so fucking much. I like him for such a

1:35:36

specific reason. A.I. met him a couple times when

1:35:38

I had just moved to L.A. and he happened

1:35:40

to be neighbors with another dude and he was

1:35:42

so friendly, so that was great. But I saw

1:35:45

one of his bits. I've had this moment a

1:35:47

few times with performers. He tells

1:35:49

this story about being a little kid

1:35:51

and sucking his neighbor's dick and his

1:35:53

neighbor sucking his dick. Yeah, yeah. And

1:35:55

35 years later, getting pulled over by

1:35:57

him and he was a state trooper.

1:36:00

And they're on the side of the road and he was like

1:36:02

acting really tough with them to give a ticket and he's like

1:36:04

You know, I just want to go like hey get real we

1:36:07

sucked each other's dick We were ten years

1:36:09

old They made happen to me Same

1:36:11

thing You mean? I

1:36:13

suck somebody's dick I don't like the

1:36:16

flavor Sure It's not my

1:36:18

thing I'll be honest Yeah, wasn't for you Also

1:36:21

wasn't shamed about it Like I've never had a

1:36:23

problem with sexuality in that way Maybe because I

1:36:25

was molested I don't know So this guy I

1:36:27

sucked his dick in high school Then I didn't

1:36:29

see him for like 20 years Yeah

1:36:32