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seemingly never ending existence. Hello

1:12

and welcome to the Beef and Dairy

1:14

Network Podcast The number One podcast for

1:16

those involved. Or. Just interested in

1:18

the production of beef animals and

1:21

dairy hoods. The. Be fun during

1:23

the To A Podcast is the podcast companion

1:25

to the Beef and Dairy Nasa website and

1:27

a printed magazine. Brought. To you

1:29

by Glenn though. Know. This

1:32

week sees the publication of a new autobiography.

1:34

By. The well known east and hard

1:37

man Gary Fiesta Louis. Fiesta.

1:40

Is well known as the owner of a

1:42

string of snooker clubs in the East End

1:44

of London, as well as a famous nightclub

1:46

Mimi's which is notorious for it's links with

1:48

organized crime. In his book, Naughty,

1:50

the confessions of an absolute rotter, he spills

1:52

the beans on his various criminal i'm takes

1:55

over the years. Alongside. His

1:57

associates rage escort smith. Terry.

2:00

Dao Peters and Alan

2:02

C. Maxx 1.6 EcoBoost with DAB

2:04

radio as standard, Jones. He

2:07

may seem like an odd guest to have on

2:09

a beef and dairy industry-focused podcast, but the

2:11

biggest revelation in this book details the links

2:14

between East End organised crime and

2:16

beef, revealing that his

2:18

snooker clubs and nightclub were for

2:20

many years little more than a

2:22

front for a black market trade

2:24

in livestock, bull semen, leather and

2:26

beef. Fiesta wrote the

2:29

book whilst in prison, a prison that

2:31

he has just been released from, in Turkey. In

2:33

fact, it's the very same prison that

2:36

is holding entertainment national treasure Sid Onion,

2:38

formerly of much-loved comedy double act Cheez and

2:41

Onion. And it was

2:43

a similar crime, smuggling beef of

2:45

a sort across the border into

2:47

Turkey that put Fiesta inside. I

2:49

started by asking him what happened. Well,

2:52

I was smuggling in some

2:54

teeth at the time and

2:56

they were caught, you know, they were found on

2:58

me at the Istanbul airport.

3:01

And I had a lot of molars

3:03

up there, sort of cow

3:05

molars, beef, it's a little

3:07

known. But in the veneers

3:10

and dental work industry, turkey teeth as

3:13

they call it, actually

3:15

cow teeth are better and take

3:17

better than human teeth or plastics

3:19

as they use over there. So

3:22

actually a lot of the Essex Cants who

3:24

come back here with

3:27

their teeth, it's actually teeth that I've

3:29

supplied and they got actually caught less

3:31

drooling because if you notice people with

3:33

veneers often drool quite a lot and

3:35

often have to wave their tongue about

3:37

and slurp every few words. But with

3:39

cow teeth, there's less drooling.

3:42

So as I say,

3:44

I was found without me asked, I

3:46

had a few hundred up there. Unfortunately,

3:48

they caught me and I said, I'm

3:50

the fat in tooth fairy that didn't

3:52

help. And off I went. So

3:55

I mean, I didn't realise it would be illegal to, you know,

3:58

shove hundreds of cow molars you're asked but turns

4:00

out it is. Turns out it

4:02

is. How did they, if this

4:05

isn't an indelicate question, how

4:07

were they discovered the the camera

4:10

rollers? Well I think I was walking

4:13

funny when I came through customs and

4:16

yeah they're on the sort

4:18

of lookout especially for this

4:20

working-class people often get

4:22

stopped and searched anyway. You think

4:25

you were profiled then? I think so yeah

4:27

and I had me walk and I was

4:30

limping slightly and probably

4:33

wincing a little bit because I think a few have got

4:35

loose and yeah next you know

4:37

I'm pulled over by a big

4:40

old geezer and yeah

4:42

there we go. Don't

4:44

need to really paint a picture there you

4:46

can probably picture it yourself. So you're in

4:48

there for five years you've done

4:50

stretches of prison time in the past over the

4:52

years you know you you're an

4:55

experienced prison residents

4:57

shall we say. What

4:59

was the experience of being in Turkish

5:01

prison life? Well you

5:03

know having Sid

5:06

there was helpful. Yeah so just to

5:08

explain you were in the same Turkish

5:10

prison as Sid Onion someone who

5:12

we've talked a lot about on this show much

5:14

loved than saying formerly of cheese and

5:16

onion with less cheese. How did it feel

5:19

when you realized that you were gonna be in

5:21

prison with this huge star someone who I believe

5:23

you you know did work in your nightclubs in

5:25

the early days? That's right you know well you

5:27

know Sid she's a good lad we go back

5:29

a long way he'd be there in me-me's with

5:31

me in the early 80s but he's a good

5:34

lad he's very funny good sense of he bloody

5:36

loves it in there until he's the king of

5:38

the fuck in jail. Oh really? He

5:40

loved it he didn't want to come

5:42

out he was having a great time he actually smuggled

5:45

in some more beef and

5:47

got caught deliberately to extend his sentence he

5:49

slapped about a couple of wauldens with a

5:51

steak that's another year he

5:53

loves it in there. So hang on let's

5:57

get this straight because we've spoken to the campaigners

5:59

you know just huge campaign to freeze Sid from

6:02

prison. He don't want it. Really? Because

6:05

I've spoken to his daughter Pam who's working tirelessly

6:07

with Buffon Frontier to get

6:09

lawyers in place to try and get him out. Well

6:12

he's letting her go about it because it's

6:14

given her a purpose because she don't have

6:17

to work you know because of her

6:19

dad but between you

6:21

and me he don't actually want to come out. He likes

6:23

it in there. It's a good life.

6:25

He's respected. He's the king in there. To be

6:27

fair he's tired of being in the shadow of

6:30

Les. The

6:35

fact that Les' surname comes first in

6:37

the duo that always pissed him off

6:40

like Lennon McCartney pissed off McCartney. Right.

6:42

You know he's onion now. He is the

6:44

main man. He'll

6:47

be out one day I'm sure but for now he's

6:50

loving it in there. I don't know much about living

6:52

in prison but to be considered the king of

6:54

a prison I mean how did he manage

6:56

to attain that position within the hierarchy of

6:58

the prisoners? Well as you know in jail

7:01

it's a sort of you have to assert yourself

7:03

early on day one don't let anyone get under

7:06

your skin. You got to

7:08

give as good as you get straight away. So day

7:10

one he shanks a

7:12

geezer and you know he goes after the

7:14

top boy. It's like the jungle really the gorillas you know

7:16

you got to go after the top boy and even if

7:19

you take a beating then people know you're

7:21

not to be messed with. So he went in

7:23

hard and he's actually quite a scrappy geezer. Sid

7:26

you know he's quite slight you

7:28

wouldn't think it but when he

7:30

switches he's fucking nasty.

7:33

He was bloody Ray

7:35

Winston in scum. I'm

7:38

the king onion now call

7:40

me the onion. So

7:42

when you go into prison then Sid's been there for a number

7:44

of years he's already the king was there

7:46

a feeling from yourself that you had to

7:48

assert yourself against Sid? No we're

7:50

mates. Right okay. He looks after me.

7:54

We've got a lot of respect for each other.

7:56

There's never been any any beef as it were

7:58

between me and Sid. Okay. And

8:00

were you, when your release date came around

8:02

last year, were you tempted to stay in

8:05

like Sid and live a good life?

8:07

No, not really. You miss

8:09

your own toilet, don't you? And I

8:11

can't really take a dump in front of anyone

8:13

else. So I just wanted to get back. And

8:15

I had obviously, me bowels weren't as they were

8:18

because of the search five years earlier at the

8:20

airport. That's something happened there.

8:22

Right. I think the teeth as

8:24

well, there was some scarring, scar tissue in

8:27

my inner cavity, as it were, when I

8:29

get too graphic. Yeah. Okay. You've just actually

8:31

been internally bitten by a dead cow. I

8:34

want to see if that's right. Yeah. Okay. But,

8:36

you know, you

8:38

live and learn. I'm

8:44

going to read a passage from your book. It opens. I

8:46

must say, it's a very great read.

8:48

Thank you. Gary.

8:50

It was midnight on a quiet Tuesday. The

8:53

old bill lights come into my snooker hall for a

8:55

couple of frames after their shift because they

8:57

were trying to rile me up, make me look like a mug.

9:00

But they were the real mugs. Little

9:02

did they know that a mere eight feet from

9:04

where they were standing, drinking orange ena and playing

9:06

snooker. There were thirty-five calves

9:08

stuffed behind the quiz machine. Yeah.

9:11

Tell me about those days. That's

9:14

a very rich picture you paint at the beginning

9:16

of the book. I mean, they're fucking clowns, those

9:18

cops. You know, they came in

9:20

all twinkly eyed. Actually, like they were

9:22

the big bollocks. And

9:24

you know, little did they know. There was this whole

9:27

other industry going on right under their

9:29

noses. You know, we

9:31

had calves in the basement under

9:34

the floor, right under their feet. So

9:36

how's it work? You are getting

9:38

these calves. Where are you getting these calves

9:40

from? I mean, sometimes they're bred underground. We

9:42

chuck the bull in there and

9:45

you know, it'll take care of business. And

9:47

then of course, it's getting them out, which

9:49

is tricky part. You have to go through

9:52

the sewer. Right. So

9:54

we had a connection on the district

9:56

line. So we had a. freight

10:00

train that would go from Epson

10:02

Park to Marlin and then

10:05

we got a geezer down there who

10:07

can look after him for us. I

10:10

think what my listeners might be thinking is, why are

10:12

you going to these lengths to

10:16

do a kind of underground cow

10:18

breeding program? Let's put it this way, you're breeding cows

10:20

in the sewers. You're then selling them

10:23

in your nightclub in your snooker hall? You

10:25

can, yeah, you could come down and buy a

10:27

cow if you wanted. Why

10:30

wouldn't someone just buy a cow the normal way from a

10:33

registered farmer? Why would they go for the

10:36

black market cow? What are they getting out

10:38

of that transaction? Well I think a lot

10:40

of EastEnders in the 70s were

10:42

a bit sick and tired of paying over the odds

10:45

for their beef. Right. And

10:47

you know, under that time, under labour,

10:50

pre-fetch-er, you

10:52

go into a pub or a calf, you'd spend

10:54

upwards of a pound on a cottage pie and

10:56

that was too much. So there was

10:59

a market there, there was a need there. So

11:02

we cut out the middle man, namely the

11:04

tax man per se as it were, and that

11:07

cut the price down, you know,

11:09

half. So you were providing

11:11

a steady and cheap

11:14

stream of beef to the good working

11:16

people of EastEnd? That's right, and suddenly

11:18

steak became affordable to the average man.

11:21

You know, you wouldn't be able to get a steak

11:23

once a month or once a year on your birthday.

11:26

Yeah. In that situation you'd get

11:28

a steak, but you know, we made steak available

11:30

to everyone. And leather jackets.

11:32

Leather jackets, leather shoes, you

11:34

know, leather car seats. You

11:37

could have leather fucking toothbrush if you wanted

11:39

because it was affordable. And

11:42

then Thatcher came in, you know, and legislation

11:44

got a bit tighter and they started breathing

11:46

down our necks, but pre-fetch-er,

11:49

it was a Wild West really. And

11:52

of course there's a certain amount of government regulation that

11:54

comes along with keeping animals. There are certain things you

11:56

have to do. You have to test them for tuberculosis,

11:58

blah, blah, blah, blah, bye. to get the vet in

12:01

occasionally. Were you doing away with

12:03

all of that kind of government interference as well? Well,

12:05

we had a soft touch with that sort of thing.

12:08

We took our chances. If you're going to

12:10

get half-priced beef, then

12:13

you can't expect it to come with the bells and

12:15

whistles as such. But

12:17

generally speaking, they were fine down

12:19

there. Actually, under the basement, quite

12:22

a sterile environment. But

12:25

largely speaking, we were quite lucky. If

12:28

one of the cows started looking a bit iffy,

12:30

then we'd give them some grapes, a bit

12:34

more fruit. And

12:36

generally speaking, they'd be all right.

12:39

So if TB, for

12:41

example, got into a herd of cows, that

12:44

can decimate a farmer's living. Were

12:47

you not concerned about that kind of thing if

12:49

you're slightly dodging these regulations around safety?

12:52

Well, I'm not a scientist. I'm

12:54

a businessman. I would take the

12:56

advice of those around me. And I

12:58

had good men. We

13:03

had Barry. Barry

13:06

England. He was the son of Clive England, who

13:08

you might recall, the famous

13:10

serial killer who done all those rent boys in

13:12

the 90s. Barry,

13:15

good lad, actually. Good lad still going. He

13:18

had a mock GCE

13:21

in science. So he could sort of run

13:23

his eye over them. He

13:26

didn't finish his exams. But he knew enough

13:29

about science. So you could have a quick look,

13:31

give him the up and down. And

13:33

silver linings, if one of the cows

13:36

did die of complications, TB, et cetera,

13:38

et cetera, et cetera, then that saves

13:40

us time and money having

13:43

to put him down ourselves. So you've got

13:45

to see the positive and just go with

13:47

what's happening, really. So that leads

13:50

to even cheaper beef. Cheaper beef for everyone. We

13:53

do a special discount, leather jacket, TB

13:56

cow, discount. Half.

14:00

price. Had a lovely sort of mottled finish.

14:02

I thought he looked quite good, personally. Before

14:08

we get back to my big interview

14:10

with Gary Fiesta Lewis, we have news

14:12

about the whereabouts of the upcoming British

14:14

Beef Council AGM and Beef Boil. So

14:17

that's annual general meeting in the day and

14:19

an assumptions feast in the evening where the

14:21

organisers say that they can guarantee that every

14:24

aspect of the meal will have been boiled,

14:26

this year including all condiments and drinks. It

14:29

will be taking place at the Red Lion Coaching

14:31

Inn and we've got a little advert

14:33

here from them. There are still rooms available if

14:35

you'd like to stay there. A

14:42

warm welcome awaits you at

14:46

the cobbled forecourt of

14:48

the Red Lion Coaching Inn.

14:53

Okay. Now

14:57

under new management from my

14:59

wife, we

15:02

have a squash-caught-cum-breakfast room

15:06

with a wonderful view of

15:08

the colour television. Enjoy

15:13

a soup and a roll.

15:15

Do those

15:19

abound in

15:22

the comfortable rooms where

15:24

you can feel at home away from home.

15:33

Whether it be a wedding or

15:35

a more sombre occasion before you go

15:37

and put a tribunal, it

15:41

is an appropriate lodging for a dogless family or a dogless

15:43

couple. Did

15:49

King Charles I stay here during the Civil War?

15:55

Enjoy the towels and don't even speak to

15:58

my wife. We'll

16:02

see here they are. As

16:14

I said before, rooms are still available but

16:16

they haven't included their address or an email

16:18

address or phone number. So erm... well

16:23

that's really for you to sort out. More

16:26

after this. While I'm not

16:28

making this podcast, I'm doing one of three things.

16:30

I'm either checking out some new

16:32

beef, I'm trying to improve

16:34

my tract fishing yield, using new techniques,

16:37

new flies, new nets. What sweet songs

16:39

can I sing to entice those scaly

16:41

temptresses? Let

16:43

me to yoga in the carriage. It's

16:45

nice to have downtime, but if you're

16:47

hiring and need to fill your open

16:49

rolls with the right people, you likely

16:51

work around the clock. Thankfully, the As

16:53

Help Zip recruiter. Zip. Recruiter Powerful

16:55

technology works for you to find great

16:58

matches for your job, and then you

17:00

could invite your top choices to apply.

17:02

In fact, for it, five employees who

17:04

post on Zip Recruiter get a quality

17:07

candidate within the first day. Just go

17:09

to Zip recruiter.com/beef to try Zip Recruiter

17:11

for free. That Zip recruiter.com. Back

17:19

to my big interview soon but first. Network

17:21

members will have no doubt seen on our website. We

17:24

know a big competition this month in which you

17:26

can win a pillow. Simply

17:28

email in and tell us what you'd do with it. The

17:31

best answers go into a hat and the

17:33

winner will be picked out by Foo Fighters

17:35

guitarist Pat Smear. We've already had

17:38

some great entries. For example,

17:40

Sandra Prescott in Liverpool writes,

17:42

I would use the pillow as a sort

17:45

of barrier between my head and my mattress

17:47

at nighttime. Thank you Sandra. Terry

17:50

Williams from Wigan writes, I'd

17:52

use the pillow as a sort of soft

17:54

plinth that my head could rest on whilst

17:56

I sleep. Thank you Terry.

17:59

And Fiona. a krail in Bristol writes,

18:02

I will use the pillow to support my head,

18:04

creating a cushioned environment for my

18:07

bonds. Fascinating answers and

18:09

I look forward to reading more. If you'd like

18:11

to enter, look at the website for more. So

18:14

now time to go back to my big interview

18:16

with Gary Fiesta Lewis. I asked

18:18

him about the rumours that a spate of

18:20

murders in 1981 were the result

18:23

of a feud about bull semen. It

18:25

happens. In business, blood is

18:27

a wage shed. That's the way

18:30

it is. Bull

18:33

semen is a commodity in

18:37

female cosmetics. It's

18:39

very valuable. It's very

18:42

good for the skin. My ex-wife used it on

18:44

her skin. She always had a lovely glow and

18:47

she swore by it. A firm

18:50

of bull semen. It's

18:53

got a sale on value of a couple of grand. In

18:55

the early 80s, that's probably 100 grand. Because

18:59

you were doing well in the early 80s. If the book is to

19:01

be believed, in 82 or 83, I

19:04

believe you've mentioned already, Mimi is your nightclub which

19:06

you bought. That must have been an expensive thing

19:08

to buy. But that's off

19:10

the back of all this money you're making off the beef

19:12

trade and the semen trade. That's right. I paid for that

19:15

in semen. The

19:17

women that came in were absolutely

19:19

fantastic. Jennifer Ridgeley came in, Andrew's

19:22

mum. Lovely,

19:24

beautiful smile. She'd

19:26

come in for a dance. Who's

19:29

a weatherman? He came in and all. Michael

19:32

Fish, the geyser who said

19:34

there weren't going to be a hurricane.

19:36

He came in for a

19:38

little dance. He loved the ladies, actually. You're

19:41

painting a picture of a very

19:43

sort of a celeb-soaked hotspot. What's

19:47

his name? Marco from Adam and the Ants,

19:49

the guitarist. He'd come down real life for

19:51

the ladies. He was always complaining, I'm not

19:53

getting shagged. Adam was getting all the

19:57

girls. He

20:00

had a porch on him, he had a gut on

20:02

him to be fair, he wasn't the best looking geezer,

20:04

he looked like a builder with makeup. But he

20:07

come in and he has a lot of

20:09

characters down there and we had a good

20:11

time. At any one time, what's the

20:13

most cows you had underneath your nightclub? Any

20:15

one time, I think we had close to

20:18

100 down there. Okay,

20:20

so 100 cows living under

20:22

a nightclub, that's a

20:24

lot of value down there. That's

20:27

worth a lot of money. Thousands. What do

20:29

you think about the geezer? You've

20:34

always got to keep your eyes open in

20:37

business, keep your

20:39

friends close, as they say. People

20:42

would sniff around. I remember one day,

20:45

a geezer came in claiming to be from

20:48

the tax office. But

20:50

I knew something was up because he had a gold tooth

20:53

and I thought, I've never seen a tax

20:55

man with a gold tooth. And

20:57

he had white slip on shoes. I

20:59

thought, this ain't tax. And

21:02

sure enough, he was in there, pulled out

21:04

a camera and we had to

21:06

deal with him. It got a bit

21:09

hairy for a week or two. Some

21:11

tensions ignited. But yeah, the

21:13

tax boy came in. There

21:17

was another occurrence where someone came in

21:19

for a dance, claimed

21:21

to have got lost looking for the toilet. And

21:25

we found him down there. One

21:27

geezer was trying to wank off one of

21:29

the cows. And

21:33

so we had to deal with him as well. Fortunately,

21:37

the word gets out that

21:39

you're on it and people don't try it too

21:41

often. But yeah, you've got to keep your eyes

21:43

open. What about lamb? What

21:46

about it? Well, were

21:48

you ever moving lamb through your system? No.

21:51

No, that weren't for me. All

21:54

that New Zealand stuff were coming in. There

21:56

was talk about the youngsters getting hooked on

21:58

mint sauce. I

22:00

didn't want that. You know, I

22:02

know cows, I know beef, I

22:05

know leather. That's

22:07

my bread and butter as it were. You'd

22:10

see these geezers walking around in sheepskin. You

22:13

know, these Delboy Warner Bees. You

22:16

know, walking around thinking they own a fucking joint.

22:19

And there was a definite split between the

22:22

geezers who wore leather jackets and the geezers

22:24

who wore sheepskin. And you stay

22:26

apart. They weren't your

22:28

kind. You know, real scum. Like,

22:31

not a brain cell to rub between them, you

22:33

know. So no, I

22:36

didn't want nothing to do with lamb, sheep,

22:38

none of those sort of fluffy creatures. Yeah.

22:41

That weren't for me. And how does

22:43

that feel then in the more modern era where,

22:45

you know, we're seeing now, culturally speaking in a

22:47

wider sense, we're seeing the growth

22:49

of interest in New Zealand. So for example,

22:51

the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and

22:54

the success of the actor Sam Neill, Taika

22:56

Waititi making these movies that people seem to

22:58

love. Now, kids now, wherever

23:01

they look, it's awash with

23:03

New Zealand, isn't it? And Kiwi culture. How

23:05

does that feel when you see that happening

23:07

on the streets of London? Well, that's globalization,

23:09

I'm told. You know, eventually,

23:12

local values, family-run

23:14

businesses get

23:16

lost, don't they? And you've got to fight

23:18

hard to stand out. And for

23:21

people, you know, they want that cheap New

23:23

Zealand rubbish, really.

23:25

It's crap. You know,

23:27

New Zealand people are very

23:30

weak, you know,

23:32

and there's no history there. So yeah, we do.

23:34

It is a threat to our business. I won't

23:36

lie to you. It is a

23:38

threat to our business, and we have to step up,

23:42

work harder. And you know, a

23:46

couple of Kiwi lads have been

23:48

dealt with. If you, you

23:50

know, you're still running Mimi's to this

23:52

day. It's a very different sort

23:55

of catalefish now. It seems like a kind of modern gastro pub.

23:57

It seems like you've gone in that kind of direction. You've

24:00

got to move with the times and you know, night

24:03

clubs aren't what they used to be. The

24:06

young people aren't going out now for

24:08

a dance as much. You've got to

24:11

sort of play to the people coming

24:13

through and they prefer sitting down, taking

24:15

photos of themselves and their

24:18

evening and sharing it online.

24:20

So you know, we've made

24:22

a very Instagram ready restaurant

24:26

with lots of very beautiful dishes made

24:28

by my ex-wife Linda and

24:31

you know, our chef

24:33

Ken. Now if a

24:36

couple of lads from New Zealand came in

24:38

and said... They wouldn't be welcome. So they say,

24:40

hey, are you looking for a barman? Are

24:42

you looking for a sous chef? No.

24:45

No, if I had an accent, you're

24:47

out. You're out on your ass,

24:49

mate. You're not allowed in. You know, I can't

24:52

trust them. You can't trust them. You know, they'll

24:54

probably be in there trying to

24:56

steal old recipes, trying to sneak in, bits

24:58

of lamb, trying to mussle in on the

25:01

action. You've got to be careful. Hop

25:03

it, you know, do one. Well,

25:07

best of luck with that. The book had

25:09

me absolutely riveted and... Thank you.

25:12

And thank you for giving us an insight

25:14

into that link between traditional London

25:16

crime and beef. You're very

25:18

welcome. A

25:25

huge thanks to Gary Fiesta Lewis for that

25:28

interview. If you've been watching

25:30

the news, you may know that shortly

25:32

after that interview was recorded, he was

25:34

arrested for reversing a transit van over

25:36

a florist and he awaits trial. Best

25:38

of luck to you, Gary. Now,

25:40

before we say goodbye, a reminder about

25:43

the upcoming British Beef Council AGM and

25:45

beef boil taking place at the Red

25:47

Lion Coaching Inn. Make

25:50

listen to the

25:52

council inspectors or

25:55

environmental health inspectors. who

26:00

have an agenda against me and my wife.

26:08

These people are paid by the

26:13

World Economic Forum and

26:18

Bill Gates. Who

26:22

do you trust? The

26:26

man who invented Microsoft or

26:30

the proprietors of

26:32

a long-established coaching him with history going back

26:35

as far as 1654. And

26:42

back then as far as I'm aware, they

26:46

would often keep prongs on a hot plate

26:48

for as many hours at a time. OK.

26:51

So that's all we've got time for this

26:53

month, but if you're after more Beef and Dairy News, get

26:55

over to the website now where you'll find all the usual stuff,

26:57

as well as our off-topic section, where

27:00

this month we feature some new short fiction by

27:02

former figure skating star Tonya Harding. It's

27:05

dreadful! So, until next time, Beef

27:10

out. Thanks

27:24

to Linnaeus Age and Tom Ward. And I

27:27

just want to recommend Tom's podcast.

27:29

It's called Bad Boys Done Good, in

27:31

which he plays the actor Ray Winston,

27:33

and along with the character Tony Soprano,

27:36

they interview a guest. It's really, really good.

27:38

Bye! Join

27:50

us. Host

27:58

Austin and Brenda. and learn all

28:00

of these things and more. The secret

28:03

histories of nerd mysteries, now on Maximum

28:05

Fun. The

28:10

following are real reenactments of

28:12

pretend emergency calls. 911,

28:16

my husband, it's my husband. Calm down, please.

28:18

What about your husband? He looks

28:21

dishwasher wrong. Please help, please

28:23

help me. Where

28:26

are you now, ma'am? At the kitchen table,

28:28

I was with my dad. He mispronounced his

28:30

words intentionally. There are

28:32

plenty of podcasts on the hunt for justice,

28:35

but only one podcast has the courage

28:37

to take on the silly crimes.

28:40

Judge John Hodgman, the only true

28:42

crime podcast that won't leave you feeling sad and

28:44

bad and scared for once, only

28:47

on maximumfun.org. Maximum

28:50

Fun, a worker-owned network

28:53

of artist-owned shows supported

28:55

directly by you.