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My good 91, it is beef head day.

1:06

91, and 91 to the Beef and

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one podcast for those involved, or

1:12

just interested in the production of Beef

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Animals and Dairy herds.

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91 Beefhead dairy network podcast is the podcast

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companion to the beef and dairy network website

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as well as the printed magazine. Brought

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to you by 91 nutritional sand.

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And as you've heard in their ad,

1:29

they've just released a range of beef

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head flavors 91 from what I can tell, they're

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really going down a treat. We've

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had lots of letters and emails, but here's just

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one, which is a representative sample.

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It's from 91, who is a farmhand in

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91. And she writes, what could

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be more festive this beef head tied

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than hand feeding a sick bullock, some

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melon flavored sand based grass

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91? And sneaking a handful of it into

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my pocket to smuggle home for

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my aunt's famous, Beefhead day

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trifle. A lovely

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festive Tableau there, Tara. Thank you.

2:02

Although I have reported that theft to your

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employer who informs me that your contract

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has been brought to an end, Your last day

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is Beefhead Eve. Please remember to

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give back your gas powered cattle passivaya

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and protective chainmail tabard.

2:15

And have a very happy, day.

2:19

So, yes, it's Beefhead, not

2:21

just a remembrance of a medieval justice

2:23

ritual involving those accused of crimes

2:26

being forced to wear a whilst being

2:28

put to trial by birds who would peck out the

2:30

eyes of those wrongly accused. It's

2:32

also a time for family. 91 time

2:34

for celebration, and a time for

2:36

beef head soup. Later,

2:39

we speak to acclaimed stage actor, Roger

2:41

Westcott Le Mogue Relay, about his new

2:43

beef head song. But first,

2:45

two people who won't be coming together this

2:47

beef head day are former dance champion

2:49

Kenny Baritone and his wife Yvonne.

2:52

You may know Kenny from his success in the darts

2:55

becoming the first and only West Yorkshire

2:57

dance champion to win the title not using

2:59

his hands. But using his strong

3:01

cheeks to blow the dust to their intended

3:03

destination. He has also been

3:05

visible in recent years as the public faces

3:08

of the pig milk marketing board and

3:10

Alan cold beer for dogs.

3:13

Yvonne is best known for being the mother

3:15

to one of Britain's biggest ever babies

3:17

After consuming huge amount of cow's

3:19

milk during her pregnancy, Yvonne had given

3:21

birth to a nine foot child. At

3:24

that time, Kenny and Yvonne were living

3:26

together in their family home with

3:28

Kenny's twenty one children as well

3:30

as Kenny's friend and cleaner Sally Pottington

3:32

and her four 91. One of which was

3:34

91 cyclops. We thought it'd be

3:36

good to catch up with a couple to see what the

3:38

latest is with the developments of baby 91, but

3:41

But when we made contact with 91, she

3:43

told us that she had broken up with Kenny,

3:45

and she refused to be in the same room as

3:47

him. But was happy to be interviewed,

3:50

over the internet. So

3:55

Kenny Baritone and Yvonne

3:58

91 girl. 91, hello and

4:00

welcome to the show. Hello. Hello.

4:03

Good to be back. Now before

4:05

we 91 of get get 91 to

4:07

brass tacks. 91, as I introduced

4:10

you there, is Yvonne

4:11

91, no longer, Yvonne Baritone.

4:13

No. Tell me how that happened.

4:16

Well, it's been a while since we've spoken

4:19

and been on quite the journey.

4:21

Actually, I don't mind telling you. And

4:24

Yeah. It was Baritone. I've gone back to Samsung

4:27

because Kenny

4:29

and I are

4:31

no longer 91. And actually,

4:33

this is the first time we've

4:35

been even on a a

4:38

mutual phone call. I won't

4:40

be in a WhatsApp group with him I

4:42

am in a Facebook group with him, but it's only

4:44

because I can't work out to leave. But

4:46

other than that, I will

4:48

not participate in any

4:50

form of communication with him. And what

4:52

is what is that Facebook group about? There's

4:54

a shed that nobody knows

4:56

who it belongs to or what it's doing.

4:58

91 it's in the middle of a roundabout and

5:01

nobody's been brave enough to approach it

5:04

to actually sort it out so the community

5:06

were in just a Facebook group Now and

5:08

again, people say, oh, I saw someone

5:10

coming out of it, but they're they're talking

5:12

shit.

5:14

So would you And and if for example, you were just you

5:16

were logging on to Facebook 91 you saw any

5:18

commenting in that Facebook group? Yeah.

5:21

How does

5:21

that make you feel? It makes me feel

5:24

sick because he does comment

5:26

on it. 91 it's only when the other ladies

5:28

have commented, and he'll put something

5:30

ridiculous like, wish I could put Maric

5:32

in your shed. I've

5:35

got a whole lot too. Do

5:37

you know that sort of thing? My lawn

5:39

mowers big. It's real big and

5:41

stinky. And sort of

5:43

dripping in in oil. You

5:45

91, and I see these things and I think, Kenny,

5:47

you haven't changed. Is

5:49

libido. That's that's 91 only

5:52

good thing I can say about mister

5:54

Kenny 91 is the man's

5:56

libido will not quit.

6:01

Please, you know this is my

6:04

problem. I have been blessed

6:06

on maybe cursed.

6:08

By god, up in the machisterial 91 of

6:11

heaven,

6:12

with too much seed.

6:15

I'm a man with too much aid

6:17

91 it must be soon. You

6:20

know? Right. Now, Kenny,

6:22

you've you've sat there listening to this. I'm

6:24

to believe this is the first time you've had an

6:27

opportunity to to say anything to

6:29

to 91 since your the breakdown of your

6:31

marriage. Yeah. How do you

6:33

respond to to to to what said so far?

6:35

First off, there's a couple of

6:37

glaring inaccuracies. I

6:39

am on the shed group. Morning noon

6:41

and night because like the rest of the

6:43

wider community. I

6:45

want to understand what's in this shade.

6:47

I've got close to it, put me in against

6:50

it, and it's a mechanical sound

6:52

in size. It's like a like a

6:54

million church bells 91 surgeries.

6:57

Only six by far. So 91 as

7:00

perplexed as everybody else. And in

7:02

terms of my conduct on the Facebook

7:04

group, these are difficult times

7:06

were living in. We've got

7:08

to keep the mood light, and a

7:10

middle aged man make his salty

7:12

jokes. I'm sorry, a goddess

7:15

through the

7:15

blades. Guys, let me let

7:17

me just interject here. Now I you're

7:19

not on the show to talk about your

7:21

Facebook group. And I'm aware, I don't wanna stoke

7:23

the the the fires here of your

7:26

of your disagreements. But I think the

7:28

list would be interested in knowing what it was

7:30

91 led to your relationship breaking

7:32

down in the way that it obviously has. When

7:34

we spoke to you last time, you were

7:36

very much in love. You had

7:39

just got married, 91 wearing a beautiful

7:41

black PVC bikini, And

7:43

and Kenny, you seem to be

7:45

coming around the idea that you'd you'd be a good

7:47

father to tell but you're nine foot

7:49

baby. You know, what's gone

7:51

wrong here? There was an

7:53

evening that really changed

7:55

things for me. So as you know, we

7:57

were living with our cleaner,

8:00

91, Pottington -- Pottington. --

8:03

and her four children. And

8:06

I suspected I began to suspect

8:08

something was going on between

8:10

Kenny and Sally Pottington because

8:13

they 91 sleeping in the same

8:14

bed, but they said nothing was 91. And

8:16

I believe them from, you know

8:18

And sorry, where were you sleeping, Avon? I

8:20

was on the the downstairs on the kitchen

8:22

counter. I've got a bad back,

8:25

and I think once you flipped the

8:26

disk, better to be on a hard surface.

8:28

So I was on the Kitchen Island. Hard

8:30

and high, isn't it? That's what we say. As high as

8:32

you can, as hard as you can,

8:35

91 for as long as she comes. So sometimes I

8:37

do weeks, you know, 91.

8:40

And so I understood Kenny and Sally

8:42

would sleep in the bed. It only

8:44

made sense. But they said nothing

8:46

was going on 91 I believed them until

8:48

one night. I'd put

8:50

all twenty five children to

8:52

bed and I went into

8:54

their room And I saw

8:56

Kenny and

8:58

Sally in my

9:01

PVC 91 bikini. Both

9:03

in the same one. Right.

9:07

And I said, hang

9:09

about, something's not right

9:11

here. 91 Sally

9:13

tried to say, I was just trying

9:15

it on. Mhmm.

9:18

And Kenny was trying to help me in

9:20

many apps. He accidentally slipped

9:22

into it with me. 91 anyway,

9:24

I began to suspect then

9:27

91 the fact that

9:29

I was in the room and they did just continue

9:31

to have what is medically

9:34

described as sexual intercourse for

9:37

four to five hours while I was in the

9:39

room. Screaming. Yes, yes, baby. This

9:41

is great. This is the best sexual it's

9:43

because of my entire life. I

9:46

love you Sally Pottington more than

9:48

my wife, Yvonne Samson,

9:51

yes, baby, yes, baby, come on baby

9:53

all night long. And that's when

9:55

I thought, you know what? For

9:57

me 91, Sherman May,

9:59

have sexual intercourse in front of me

10:01

for four to five hours with another

10:03

woman. Shame on you,

10:05

Kenny Baritone. Shame on

10:07

me, Kenny Baritone. What

10:09

you've outlined there is to anybody

10:12

with half a functioning brain

10:14

is just a series of very

10:16

91 circumstances. 91, you

10:20

might call 91, that have

10:22

made a made you think

10:24

your lie about today. 91 what

10:26

if I told you this scenario?

10:28

We were in your PVC wedding

10:30

dress because that is

10:32

a very small 91

10:33

house. We've over

10:34

twenty eight people in it.

10:36

The moisture is in there and it's

10:39

getting to the 91. So we were

10:41

doing that. We were stretching it

10:43

back out. 91 my

10:45

plan, aided by my

10:47

wingman, Sally Pottington, 91

10:49

to ask you if

10:51

one. To

10:52

the new our vows, and 91 needed

10:54

you been back on to the do 91.

10:56

But, you know, you've

10:58

you've done it, you've tard the you've

11:00

tard me with the 91 alive.

11:02

I

11:02

mean, thanks for four or five hours

11:04

with me in the room. And, Kenny, can I try and

11:06

get some clarity here? You're saying that all

11:08

you're doing is stretching out the PVC bikini

11:11

so that you could present it to Avon and say, let's

11:13

let's revenue our vows. On the surface 91 it,

11:15

that seems like a nice thing to do. However,

11:17

91 makes the claim that you having sexual

11:19

intercourse for four to five hours in front of

11:21

her. And by the way 91 Sally was literally saying this

11:23

is the best sexual intercourse I've ever had. She's

11:26

doing amateur dramatics in the

11:28

local theater, and that

11:30

is a line 91 of Fugu girls

11:32

from yet inspector

11:33

plays. She was doing her lines.

11:35

Okay. So she was practicing her lines

11:38

for an amateur dramatics 91.

11:41

How do you account for what you were

11:42

doing? I was doing star jumps

11:45

because I'm trying to get in

11:47

faith. So I could be a better

11:50

husband and lover to

11:52

91. Well, wanted to be,

11:55

I guess. Right. Just so

11:57

I've got this straight. Your

11:59

claim is that you were doing star jumps

12:01

and that Sally Pottington was rehearsing

12:03

lines for an amateur dramatics

12:05

performance that she was going to

12:06

give. Is this plausible

12:08

Avon? Was Sally Pottington in

12:10

a play? Well, it

12:11

may have been a 91. I don't know.

12:14

But either way, that doesn't

12:16

explain why she became

12:17

pregnant. Uh-huh.

12:20

Yeah. With child. With

12:22

child. Now is

12:24

that child has that child been born? Yes.

12:27

91, you know, I guess you were pretty keen to have

12:29

a look at that little baby's head when

12:31

it came out to see whether it looked

12:34

like 91

12:34

baritone. Well, you can tell by the cheek

12:37

because I've always said it. It was a baritone.

12:39

It was a baritone through and

12:41

through. Hey, sir. Was

12:43

It's

12:43

had to tell 91 wrinkles.

12:45

It's a 91 glass.

12:48

It it it 91 a baby that's been

12:50

born too old. You know, he's come

12:52

91, so a little baby sized, but it's

12:54

an old man. I don't think it's some

12:56

Benjamin 91, I think it's come

12:58

out very old. 91 all

13:00

sides are pointed towards it getting

13:02

much older.

13:04

Yeah. So you're saying

13:06

that it's sort

13:08

of big tweaks are actually a function of the

13:10

fact that it's got an old man's

13:12

face 91 nothing to do with the fact that you might be

13:14

his

13:14

father.

13:14

You know how the tweaks get.

13:16

As you age.

13:18

This is

13:19

on an NHS pamphlet that we've all

13:21

had pushed through the 91. The cheeks become

13:24

big.

13:24

Bigger than a young person's cheek, and

13:26

it's fine. It's just a

13:29

signal to everybody that

13:31

is the soul is getting ready to leave

13:33

the

13:33

body. This is this is all on the NHS

13:36

website.

13:37

Evon, is is this plausible to you

13:39

that the baby has big tweaks,

13:41

not because It has Kenny's

13:43

dreams, but because it is old before

13:45

its time and has it has an old face.

13:47

I

13:47

think you can it can be both. It can be an old

13:50

baby 91 a baritone.

13:52

91 doesn't to be an exclusive thing.

13:54

It's got strong cheeks. Yes. They're

13:57

wrinkly. Yes. They're old. Yes. They're

13:59

withered, but they're strong.

14:01

Like a 91, and I know them cheeks

14:03

anyway. I've, you know, I've got twenty

14:05

one children.

14:07

All baritones, I've seen them

14:09

cheek through and through. So

14:11

I know I know a

14:12

baritone. And what's

14:15

come out of her is a

14:17

baritone boy. don't think we could just

14:19

anything that's coming out to Sally

14:21

Pottington. That uncanny valley is

14:23

produced aside clubs, a

14:25

multidimensional 91 aim. Do

14:27

you know what I mean? I think, like, the

14:30

cyclops

14:30

next, the 91 that's sold

14:32

to 91.

14:33

Did that be it? I think we just need to

14:36

remove Sai 91 time and the offspring

14:38

from the table. Let's

14:44

talk about where you are now because

14:46

I believe, Ivan, you're still living in the family

14:48

home. Yes. It's

14:50

you. It's Kenny's twenty

14:52

one children.

14:53

None of

14:54

which are yours, I don't think? Well,

14:56

I have to tell, but but that was enough

14:58

for me. That sort of written 91 shreds. And

15:00

just so

15:00

we're clear, Kenny has left the

15:03

family home, is he is he

15:05

contributing financially to your situation? No.

15:08

No. Kenny's left He

15:11

left well, Sally's still

15:13

here. You know, meek of that what you

15:15

will. And he's not paying anything to

15:17

me. He's not paying anything to Sally.

15:19

We don't really

15:21

know where he is. I've tried to get

15:23

in touch with him via a lawyer, but

15:26

91 because I am quite skin don't think he really

15:28

was a lawyer. 91 just a man of men and a 91. That's

15:30

a whole of a story. But

15:33

basically, no, I've not had any money.

15:35

I'm living in the same tiny

15:37

tiny house. I can't explain to you how

15:40

small this house is, and

15:42

I'm still just sleeping on the

15:43

worktop. Can I put my point

15:46

across? I'm across.

15:48

She's saying that I haven't paid

15:51

for to maintain

15:53

her or 91 child or any of the other

15:55

91. But to be fair to

15:58

me, I don't

16:00

wanna

16:01

I don't wanna do that.

16:03

I'm just starting my

16:06

exciting third out, you know,

16:08

that Spot's game is all

16:10

about

16:10

reinvention, and I'm starting at Mewcovever.

16:13

91 he?

16:14

Spotts? Superstar. So

16:17

hang on, you've you've turned you back on 91 and you've moved on

16:19

twos. I still play in darts, but it's socially

16:22

91 stride 91. The the world's

16:24

stride up There's no pubs

16:26

anymore. Please read the

16:28

papers. So I'm going to

16:30

South Korea and 91. On

16:33

a near weekly basis, spending

16:36

out every penny that I've got in

16:38

the attempt of mastering esports

16:41

with the chance of winning

16:43

91 luxurious top prize,

16:45

and she 91 have all she wants.

16:48

How's that

16:48

sound 91? Kenny becoming

16:50

an e sports star. Winning

16:53

some big

16:53

prizes, and then you can have in his words

16:56

whatever you like, a life of

16:58

luxury. Do you know what? As

17:00

far as I concerned, if

17:02

you're doing near esports, that 91 sound

17:05

like anything to me that because I know you're not very

17:07

good at computer games because You

17:09

don't your hands are

17:10

91. They're

17:11

vivid to

17:12

muffin. I'm not using my hands.

17:14

You're doing

17:15

it with your

17:16

mouth. I'm doing it.

17:17

I'm playing. Computer games

17:20

professionally 91 just my

17:22

breath alone and you seem to be

17:23

forgetting. The eye, there's a lot of self that

17:26

I could do without my hands. You know

17:28

this, Ivan?

17:29

Kenny, I think you've got e

17:32

sports and e cigs mixed

17:34

up. And that from what it

17:36

sounds like, 91 I won't

17:38

put this posture. It sounds like you're going to

17:40

Singapore to competitively

17:43

smoke

17:43

vets. 91 this is not the

17:46

sort of man I want to raise

17:48

my huge massive terrifying child.

17:50

I want some stability, Kenny.

17:52

Who am I to who am I to

17:55

argue if there's a crowd forming?

17:57

I've got to

17:57

perform. I've got popcorn

18:00

long. I need help. So

18:02

describe the the scene for his Kenny. You're

18:04

on a street corner in Singapore.

18:07

You're you're huffing on

18:09

these ecigarettes. I'm

18:11

I'm imagining increasingly exotic

18:14

and out there flavors maybe. And

18:16

there's people crowding around, clamoring round,

18:19

like, throwing money and and, you

18:21

know, going, why don't you vape this one? Why don't you vape

18:23

this one? You know, offering up different kind

18:25

of vapes. 91 in the hot balmy

18:27

evening, you know, the audience

18:29

congregated around you 91 begins to be a kind

18:31

of collective 91. They're

18:33

not quite in control of 91 what they're saying or doing. There's like a

18:35

kind of collective now

18:38

where the crowd are all

18:40

as 91. They're one living

18:42

organism, and they are intensely

18:45

focused on watching

18:47

a former Dots champion

18:50

smoking 91 ecigarette. Yeah. Yeah. And

18:52

what they do is they serve only slight

18:54

little bookie container 91

18:56

the crowd gets so fluffed up and I'm

18:59

walking around and the 91 trickies

19:01

that we siphon off a

19:03

little bit of sweating 91 from

19:05

the crowd and to camp that into the

19:08

babe, 91, to

19:10

Helane, the 91 is

19:13

So bodily fluids mixed with vanilla

19:15

91 they they can't get enough

19:17

of it because we've got we've got

19:19

a strictly calm down scene. And

19:22

the traitors, but they've got Kenny

19:25

91, inhaling, bodily

19:27

vebs. 91 that's

19:28

on TV. 91 on

19:31

TV in Singapore. 91 a card in

19:33

it. He showed up at wood at his

19:35

chest, and now he's back at every

19:37

91 and his equipments 91 him steadily Ma'am,

19:39

he started off to study his 91, but now he's got

19:41

a two camera set up. He's got a

19:43

close-up and a and a foul way shot

19:45

on some good

19:46

lighting. Luma has it. That

19:49

this is a a viable sensation with a niche

19:52

audience. 91.

19:55

Billionaire businessmen It

19:58

was 91, you know, that they've been through

20:00

every every sort of

20:02

ice, every taboo 91

20:04

through. They've done it all, so now they've

20:07

come to 91 stage in a life where they the only way to

20:09

could get the kicks is by watching

20:11

me. Kenny 91, vaping,

20:13

in Singapore. Thank you

20:15

very much.

20:19

Now, before we get back to my interview with

20:22

Kenny and Yvonne, Earlier

20:24

this week, I spoke to the actor

20:26

Roger Westcott La 91, a

20:28

stage actor probably best known for being

20:30

shot with a longbow by the 91 Les

20:32

teas while he was playing Princess Diana

20:34

on stage at the Chichester

20:35

Festival. He came in to talk

20:38

about his new Be

20:40

Fed song Hello,

20:40

my dear fellow. It's wonderful to

20:42

be here. Thank you so much for coming on the

20:44

show. I know you're a busy guy. You're

20:46

working on the 91 Beefhead pageants.

20:48

Which is happening

20:49

soon. That's

20:50

right as every year, proud tradition.

20:53

And

20:53

you've got some wonderful guests this year? Really

20:56

tremendous. Yes. We've convinced Ellen

20:58

Arkin to play this year's beef

21:00

head, leading the

21:01

procession. Wow. That's

21:02

a big 91, Ellen Arkin. He's 91 I

21:04

mean, obviously, you yourself are a story actor with, you

21:07

know, with a great 91 you

21:08

very much. Yes. Available for work. A

21:10

great number of films

21:13

and stage performances. Baron Arkin, he's like, you

21:15

know, he's kind of

21:17

91 lesser level.

21:18

Well opinions may differ on that sort

21:20

of thing. I I see him as something

21:22

above an enthusiastic atmosphere.

21:24

But the the public

21:26

seems to like him, so we

21:29

thought we'd bring him in to try and

21:31

attract a new crowd to the

21:33

91 head

21:33

legend. Good. I

21:34

don't know if you've ever 91 Hollywood work

21:37

yourself No joke. I

21:39

91. I shun it. I shun

21:41

the trappings 91 mores of

21:43

Hollywood. Rise. Who would take me seriously

21:46

if they saw me as

21:48

a robot transforming into

21:50

a plane. My reputation would

21:52

be in tears.

21:54

Yes. Okay. But but you have

21:57

done for example, you did

21:59

that very well known series of

22:01

adverts. For a brand of anti 91

22:04

yogurts.

22:04

91. But I did them with

22:07

conviction, passion, and

22:09

dedication. Yeah.

22:10

Okay. But could you

22:13

not play, for example, the robot

22:15

that turns into a plane 91 the

22:17

same level of dedication

22:20

and conviction with which you you

22:22

played the the main character, the

22:25

hero, if you like, in the anti

22:27

flatulence, yogurts, 91, yogurts,

22:30

yogurts, the hero. But you you know what I mean?

22:33

Oh, I've tried I've tried the

22:35

motion kept 91,

22:38

contrivances before. The problem

22:40

is I bring my years

22:42

of training and stage

22:44

91 and skill to bear. And

22:47

when I watch the final

22:49

product, they've animated

22:51

a computer creature

22:53

over my face. I discovered

22:56

this 91 I was due to

22:58

play a 91 creature

23:00

in episode one, the

23:02

91 menace. Right. And

23:05

when I viewed the

23:07

work print of the film. I

23:09

saw the dead cold eyes

23:11

of a fish man staring back

23:13

at me. And I said, where's my britain?

23:16

George 91? Wonderful.

23:18

Well, he said, no, that's you there.

23:20

That's you. And I said, destroy this scene.

23:22

I won't have it viewed by

23:24

human eye nor of fish

23:26

eye as to

23:26

her. Is this a

23:27

bit of a scoop that that you

23:30

Roger with the original JJ Binks? No.

23:32

The wonderful actor I met best, of

23:34

course, 91 JJ Binks. I was a

23:36

friend of his John John

23:39

Bonks, who was supposed to appear in the

23:41

large underwater cities scene. But

23:43

when I saw those dead

23:45

fish eyes on talks, pentamining a

23:48

up 91 imitation of of

23:50

the performance I had on

23:52

set given I said absolutely

23:54

not. You can take the money. Take it

23:56

back. I won't have this seen seeing

23:58

the light of day. But

24:00

91 course, Good old Brian. Bless 91 was

24:02

there and it was a great bit of

24:04

fun to get absolutely levered

24:06

with him after the day's shooting was

24:08

finished. And he has no such problems about

24:11

sort of sea jared over. Absolutely

24:13

91, you see. You see Brian is someone

24:15

who does most of his work with

24:17

his voice, his large

24:19

booming voice, but Unfortunately, I

24:22

find it. My own vocal performance is

24:24

a tool subtle in

24:26

isolation and they require the

24:28

subtle undulations of the actor's visage

24:31

to to conjure the emotion required

24:33

for the viewer.

24:34

Okay. Let's talk be Beefhead 91.

24:37

A dramatic rendering

24:40

of the medieval Beefhead

24:42

head rituals. I know a big part of many

24:44

of our listeners' beef head celebrations will

24:46

be sitting down next to the radio 91 listening to the

24:48

refurbished page, the coverage of of the

24:50

live event, which, of course, takes place

24:53

in different 91 and cities across the

24:55

UK. Every year this year. It's just taking

24:57

place in 91. And

25:00

I'm looking forward to listening. There's been

25:02

various things in the press this week

25:04

saying that the patent is in

25:06

trouble. And and the number of people

25:08

actually turning up to attend the patent has been

25:10

falling year on year now for for five

25:11

years. Can you tell me anything

25:14

about that? I must admit there has been

25:16

something of a downturn in

25:18

attendance. You see, I I fear that 91 young

25:20

people are losing touch

25:22

with

25:22

Beefhead. They're less interested in it. They don't connect to

25:24

it in the way that we did when I was

25:27

91. Do you feel as many do that

25:30

Beefhead is being increasingly overshadowed

25:33

by by

25:33

Christmas. Is is that what's going on? I

25:36

will

25:36

say that during the pageant last year, while I

25:38

was dressed as Dunston 91, A

25:40

young chap came up to me, could only have been

25:42

three or four years old and said,

25:45

91 Christmas. And I said, no,

25:47

you little 91. I'm 91

25:49

wolves. And then I pushed him into a

25:52

91. I see. And do

25:54

you think that that was nice 91 instant?

25:56

Or do you think that your average

25:59

child,

25:59

today, faced with a beef Beefhead 91 like

26:02

yours, would assume it's a it's a

26:04

Christmas event. Well, on the

26:06

whole, I regard children

26:08

as being simple minded creatures

26:11

mostly fit for manual labor

26:13

and being ignored. But I will say,

26:16

it seems to me that somebody should do

26:18

something more to entice

26:20

these children, to share in the joy of

26:22

Beefhead, Christmas has it all sewn

26:24

up. All of the PR 91

26:26

the marketing every December is geared

26:28

towards

26:28

Christmas. What are we doing? 91 are we doing?

26:31

Nothing, I say. Well, I think that brings us on to to the reason

26:33

we're talking you to you today. 91, I

26:35

believe. You have written and recorded

26:37

your very own Beefhead you

26:40

claim you think it's the first

26:42

BEFED Carol to be written in the last two

26:44

hundred

26:44

years. In over to hundred years.

26:46

In fact, I believe we worked out it was two hundred

26:48

and twelve years until the

26:50

last dirt like melancholy, 91 head

26:53

Carol had been 91. And so

26:55

this is my own offering

26:57

to to that

26:57

everywhere. And so I believe that, you know,

27:00

I've not heard it yet. We're we're gonna play

27:01

it here on the podcast. I believe it's the

27:03

first public play this beef

27:05

account. This is a an exclusive

27:08

play of my new beef

27:10

head 91, the woven

27:12

beeps. The woven beeps. That's it. Now

27:15

I've not heard as I said, but from

27:17

the PR stuff you sent through in the press

27:19

release, it seems like what you're trying to

27:21

do is do something May I say, you know, you're you're trying to make

27:23

it a little bit more 91 y or like appeal

27:25

to the Christmas crowd?

27:27

Well, I'm not sure if I would agree

27:30

with that. What I what I would say is that you and I

27:32

remember traditional classic beef

27:34

head, but the kids today, they just can't

27:36

relate to that traditional celebration. So

27:38

I'm trying to capture what we

27:40

had then in all of its grandeur,

27:42

its profundity, and try and capture it in

27:44

a way that's a little more lighthearted and

27:47

jolly infested and will appeal more to

27:49

children reared on

27:50

Christmas. 91

27:52

I said, it's an exclusive. Thank you

27:54

so much for giving us that exclusive

27:56

You're more than welcome. And once you've played it, if listeners

27:58

like what they

27:59

hear, where can they go and

28:01

listen to this in their own time?

28:04

91 understand there are plans for it to be uploaded

28:07

to Spotify by

28:09

February. Fantastic. I've

28:11

been told by the people at Spotify

28:14

that every time someone listens to the

28:16

song, we get naught

28:18

point, naught, naught, naught, naught,

28:20

naught one 91. And

28:22

this troubled me for a moment, but I I

28:24

spoke to them 91 they they reassured me

28:26

that as long as people

28:28

listen to the song, sixty

28:30

billion times, I'll make enough to

28:32

buy a new car. Well,

28:35

that's great. I say

28:37

new. New to me. 91, probably.

28:39

Right. If

28:39

your if your song is 91 to sixty

28:42

billion times, that would be every

28:44

person on Earth listening to it ten

28:46

times. 91?

28:47

Yes. If everyone I mean, how many listeners do you have? We're

28:50

talking about several hundred

28:52

million.

28:52

Right? Well, we

28:54

definitely know we've we've definitely got

28:57

sixty listeners.

28:58

For sure. That's what we at least sixty. That's

29:00

what we know about, but there could

29:02

potentially be many millions more than that. We

29:04

just know about that hardcore of sixty

29:06

because they, of course, get the cassette that we send

29:08

out. Apart from

29:09

that, we've got no other members. When I'm speaking

29:11

directly to all of those sixty

29:14

hardcore devoted listeners now. If

29:16

you could order your level best towards

29:19

trying to listen to the song one

29:22

billion times than the people at Sport

29:24

if I assure me that

29:26

I'll be able to buy myself a

29:28

brand new secondhand

29:30

car. And I can stop having to catch

29:33

the bloody train. But you

29:35

don't like

29:35

a train, Roger? Oh, I don't mind

29:37

trains. I respect the rail networks very

29:40

much. It's the stink of

29:42

piss and shits coming from the buffet

29:44

car that troubles

29:45

me. I'm a professional actor

29:47

for God's

29:48

sake. Well, Roger,

29:48

it's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you, and

29:50

I'm really excited to hear this. Delighted, dear

29:52

brother. 91 new take on the

29:55

beef and 91 and 91

29:57

upbeat friendly sounding,

29:59

91, positive

30:01

look at the 91 boyfriend Carol. That's

30:03

right. So get your dancing

30:06

shoes on and prepare to tap your toes to this

30:08

upbeat 91 head

30:08

number. 91. Well, thank you, Roger,

30:11

and let's play it now.

30:13

Jolly Beefhead.

30:22

When the sparrows tumble

30:26

down, who will

30:28

take the Beefhead head

30:30

crown, when the birds,

30:32

they pick the eyes.

30:35

Who will hear your

30:37

deathblood cries? When 91,

30:40

he is abroad.

30:43

Who will wield the

30:45

Diamond sword? When

30:47

Oxtail Sam rises

30:49

once more, who will

30:52

heal his twelve wounds

30:54

or 91 me harshly.

30:56

Judge me well.

30:59

Prepare the feast 91 ring

31:02

the bell. 91. Renews

31:05

the spirit. A

31:07

big basket with peppers

31:10

in it. Roatic

31:29

cream. Realize my

31:32

darkest dream. Beers

31:35

91 from within my head.

31:38

Swaved in peace and left

31:40

for dead. I wandered

31:43

dazed through the

31:45

dark trees, my socket's black,

31:48

a on my knees.

31:50

I dragged my corpse through

31:52

the damn leaves wearing

31:56

only 91. You

32:16

there, Little Boy. What

32:18

would you like your beef head gift

32:20

to be this year?

32:24

All I want is 91.

32:27

The natural justice of

32:30

birds. Very good.

32:32

Very good. 91 have

32:34

you been a good boy this year?

32:37

Well, I did

32:39

steal an onion. 91 how

32:41

many onions did you steal boy?

32:45

Just one. Release the

32:47

batts. Cleanse the soul

32:49

of this foul onion thief.

32:52

No. Through

33:13

the 91, up

33:15

the night. The 91

33:18

justice burning bright.

33:20

The big man is

33:22

the best of us. But

33:25

light and screaming in

33:27

the dust.

33:30

A big thanks to Roger for that

33:33

exclusive play of his song Woven

33:35

Beaves. As Roger said, you can

33:37

download the song on Spotify from

33:39

February. And if you'd like to

33:41

listen to this year's Beefhead 91, with

33:43

Roger West Cotele and Alan

33:45

Arkin, it'll be on pure juice

33:47

FM, all the best trans

33:49

techno and houses twenty 47365

33:51

at two PM on Beefhead

33:53

Eve. More

33:56

after this, Hi, everyone.

33:58

I'm Adam MacLeod, and I'm Alexis

34:00

B Preston, and we host a show

34:02

called Comfort Futures. To

34:04

show for every animal lover, be it a creature of

34:07

scales, six legs, fur, feathers,

34:09

or fiction. Comfort creatures

34:12

is a show for people who prefer their friends to have pools instead of

34:14

hands. Unless they are raccoon

34:15

hands, that is okay. That is

34:18

absolutely okay.

34:20

Every Thursday, we will be talking to guests about their pets,

34:22

learning about pets in history, art,

34:24

and even fiction. Plus, we'll discover

34:26

differences between pet ownership across the

34:28

pond. It's gonna be a hoot

34:30

on maximum bun.

34:32

Now back to

34:34

our big interview. We've

34:36

Kenny and Yvonne. Let's

34:39

talk about your medical

34:41

mega baby, Talbot. Yeah.

34:44

Last we spoke, he was eighteen months old. He's now almost four. Yeah.

34:46

And back then, he was nine

34:49

feet tall. And basically

34:51

living outside on the mors in in the

34:54

in the forests.

34:55

Yeah. Local

34:56

farmers weren't very happy. They were chasing him. They were

34:58

throwing weapons at him, etcetera.

35:00

91 I believe he's gone underground.

35:03

Yeah. Yeah. He's very happy

35:05

that he loves the

35:07

sewers. It's very much like, you know,

35:09

when you get him a 91 to

35:11

edge and you put the the tunnels on the

35:13

tubes and it goes round. And

35:15

they love it and 91 he

35:18

loves these. I I feel safer. No one is in

35:20

the sewers. There's less to hurt him.

35:22

Because obviously, you know,

35:24

every other day 91 would

35:26

be if come back and it it shout out the bedroom

35:28

window from the outside and it said,

35:30

91, but I knew what

35:32

what he was saying was the farmers

35:34

91 to use a hairpin on me

35:37

again. You know what I mean? Like

35:39

91 arm is here twice a

35:41

month. It's it's

35:44

a But now he's in the sewers is

35:46

safe. You know, he's not harming anybody,

35:48

and it actually works out

35:50

really well

35:52

for us. And, you

35:54

know, now and again, I have

35:56

to, you know, what kids are

35:58

like. I have to, you know, chuck

36:00

some some live

36:02

cattle down the 91 of the sewers just to make sure. You know, if he's

36:04

been a bit grumpy or a bit shy and he

36:06

don't want to come out to get

36:08

his food, But it's

36:10

actually working out very, very

36:13

well. I I'd love to know

36:15

exactly how big he is. I haven't been

36:17

able to get close enough to measure

36:19

him. God is definitely grown since we

36:21

last spoke. 91, oh,

36:24

what a phase doubled? It's difficult

36:26

to tell because he moves at quite a speed as well now. It

36:29

was quite problems here before, but he's he's

36:31

sort of he's become frighteningly

36:34

fast. 91

36:34

he's he's sort of engaged against talking the 91, but

36:37

he's he's because that

36:39

plants emphasize sunlight 91

36:43

beloved 91 emphasizes dark

36:45

and moss. So he's just

36:47

bigger and bigger and bigger every now

36:49

and again, he's hard 91 a

36:51

turn and he goes into two smaller pipe.

36:54

And every 91, again,

36:56

I've 91 him down. I've 91 him stuck in

36:58

his pipe, but I he was little feet

37:00

91 tickle and 91 off before

37:03

he catches me and pushes

37:05

me with his hands. No.

37:07

It sounds like 91 doing

37:10

okay. I wonder Kenny, obviously, you're

37:12

starting this new life yourself

37:14

in Singapore. Have you given any

37:16

thought to whether Talbot

37:18

Kudor should join you over

37:19

there? I know this is a

37:21

tricky subject, but It must have crossed

37:23

your mind. I've talked you to these odds in

37:26

91, and I think there's

37:28

a real market for what 91 got.

37:31

What do you think

37:31

about that, Yvonne? I

37:33

don't

37:34

want my four year old child

37:36

going to 91

37:38

to

37:39

smoke esigns for for businessmen. There is

37:42

a burgeoning giant baby

37:44

fight club circuit over there

37:48

91 I'm telling you, if I get in one or two fights, someone will

37:50

buy in some sunglasses involved. Someone will

37:53

buy some snap around sunglasses

37:56

91 91 his and

37:59

he looks really 91, and he'll buy

38:01

a Michelle suit. It isn't 91 the

38:03

life that you said you always

38:05

wanted them. You want to deliver shelves with stuff of

38:07

our own

38:07

glasses. You're

38:08

using this against me because you know

38:10

that's what I want. You know that's

38:13

what I've always wanted 91

38:15

second I saw him

38:18

sprinting across them feels,

38:20

ripping them cows 91, I

38:22

thought, get that tiny

38:24

91 young child who happens to

38:26

be a massive 91, a shell suit. 91

38:28

I'm wraparound sunglasses, you know that about

38:31

me, Kenny, 91 then just feel like you're bringing it up to

38:33

try and, you know, make me

38:35

react, you know, make me think

38:37

that that the future could be

38:39

with us again. But I don't

38:41

believe for one second this could happen. I would

38:44

love to get a

38:46

Michelle 91.

38:47

I looked everywhere for shell soups in this

38:50

size. I've looked for any clothes in this

38:52

size. It's walking around wrapped

38:54

in a marquee.

38:55

They said,

38:58

let me paint a sane

39:00

fear. We could

39:02

start again. Singapore is a place to Singapore

39:04

is the only place in the world

39:06

that could satisfy Talbot's bloodlust.

39:10

Watching Talbot,

39:12

tear up 91 big babies from

39:14

around the world. He'll be happy.

39:16

I could ride him around.

39:18

Like Astellia and and if I don't know if you'll promise you one thing, we

39:21

will be so far away

39:23

for the side

39:24

clubs.

39:24

91

39:27

won't be able to see 91. Finally,

39:30

that I will be looking

39:32

elsewhere.

39:33

God, Can we please put that in ARREST

39:36

PCA or summer I

39:38

can't. The 91 just it's

39:42

so much. 91 and

39:44

it's a lot. You know, the 91 have

39:46

been one look and you

39:48

could be dead. It's it's an awful way

39:51

to live. Just to

39:51

explain to to listeners 91 who haven't

39:54

heard the previous interview with you, just to

39:56

fill them in, one of the children that the

39:58

Devon lives with is one of

40:00

the children of Sally Pottingen who is a a cyclops

40:02

who can fire a laser from its

40:03

eye. Yeah. Yeah. I think

40:05

they

40:05

would've

40:06

I think they would've got that

40:09

to be 91, it's a sort of typical

40:11

family situation, you know,

40:13

a nuclear family, but

40:16

nuclear in a different sense. So

40:19

Kenny,

40:21

you've got this strong view of

40:24

how you

40:24

want your future to

40:27

be. You and 91, in Singapore,

40:30

you're making money professionally

40:32

smoking people swear on the streets.

40:34

He's making waves in the giant

40:36

baby fight club scene. He's wearing

40:38

his wraparound sunglasses and

40:40

his shell suit making loads of

40:42

money. Yvonne,

40:44

do you buy into this vision?

40:47

91

40:47

you want this to be your future? Because I

40:49

think it's there for you if you want

40:51

it. Sounds awful. It really does.

40:54

It sounds absolutely I couldn't think of

40:56

anything worse. Except

40:58

for maybe living in a tiny tiny

41:00

house with twenty five children and sleeping

41:02

on a kitchen island 91 no ammonia

41:04

91 no hook 91 a massive

41:07

City Bay be running around the sewers,

41:09

you know. So it's it's a tricky

41:11

one because it's a real bad

41:14

offer, but it just happens to be

41:16

slightly better

41:17

91 my current situation. So

41:20

What do you want to say to Kenny

41:22

right now?

41:23

Oh, gosh. It's It's a lot, isn't

41:26

it really late? It's a it's a lot of emotions processed. I'd say Kenny,

41:28

you you were the love of my life.

41:30

You 91? You're the only man

41:34

whose cheeks have ever brought me to tears, and you you

41:36

91, that's never gonna change. 91 don't

41:39

know if I'm making a huge

41:41

mistake here, but I just I

41:44

think a new star, a new life

41:47

with you and and

41:50

then some children, not all 91 children

41:52

may be. Because there's there's

41:54

so many now.

41:56

I just think Yeah. You

41:58

know what? Maybe I've had enough of this kitchen

42:00

counter. Maybe I've had enough of this

42:03

tiny tiny damp house. Maybe it's time

42:05

for me, Ivan, to live

42:07

her life and do things

42:09

for her. And if doing things

42:11

for myself involves moving

42:14

across the world for

42:16

you, then so

42:17

be it. Absolutely. What we're gonna

42:19

do about this cyclops

42:21

No. Well, we can't bring this. We can't bring the cycle. I

42:24

don't want the cyclops. It's

42:26

a nightmare.

42:29

All I could think of is we send

42:31

the cyclops into that shed on

42:33

the roundabout. Yes.

42:36

With the mechanisms 91 the

42:38

were in and the sort

42:40

of static electricity

42:41

sound.

42:41

And the 91, I think we send him

42:43

in. We open the door.

42:45

We'll find out

42:47

what's going on once and for all the community, 91

42:49

be happy. We can shut down the face,

42:51

but group. And

42:52

you know what?

42:53

If it doesn't come

42:55

back, It doesn't come

42:55

back. It's dead. It's dead. But

42:58

the one

42:58

thing I know is that my love

43:02

for you.

43:03

91 dead? That's

43:05

good to hear. My

43:06

love fear was the opposite of a

43:09

cyclops child going 91 a

43:12

mysterious

43:12

shed. It's not dead, Kenny.

43:13

It's alive. It's alive and kicking and

43:16

breathing. And I'm I'm ready for

43:18

Singapore. 91,

43:21

will all be together finally,

43:23

as

43:24

a family, this

43:27

many Beefhead day. It's

43:29

a miracle. Well, thank

43:31

you both. It's been great to talk to you.

43:33

It's been great to catch up and I

43:36

feel like you know, and I'm not maybe

43:38

I don't wanna big up my role in this, but it feels like we've broken some kind of

43:40

feature for you too. 91

43:43

I'm excited about it, and I hope you are as

43:45

well. And I hope we can catch up with you in the future and see

43:47

how it's going in

43:48

Singapore, and I wish you both the very best

43:51

and a very Mary Fed. Mary B. Fed

43:53

Beefhead my god. Thank you

43:55

for bringing us together. You really

43:58

changed our life, and I don't even

44:00

know which part of Scotland's Singaporeies, but

44:02

I am gonna get there

44:04

for 91 said. You mark

44:06

my Be fed morning. I'm working

44:08

up

44:09

there.

44:10

Many be fed to all. A big

44:12

thanks to Kenny and Ivan. And

44:14

since that interview, we've had the

44:16

news that Talbot has been successfully

44:20

apprehended, tranquilized, and

44:22

tied to the prow of an oil freighter,

44:24

which will safely convey him to Singapore.

44:27

And before

44:28

we go, a final treat for you. It's your

44:30

opportunity to win tickets to this year's

44:32

beef head boar, which of course is

44:34

taking place at the Montgolfier golf hotel in golf course and

44:36

golf course, and this year features a performance by none

44:39

other than Cardi b 91, full

44:41

name Cardigan

44:42

beef. 91 she's

44:44

been working with the police dog display

44:46

team of West 91 Police to

44:48

put together a really show stopping

44:51

event. So for your chance to win two tickets, simply answer

44:54

the question. If you have a

44:56

broom, but over the course of the last ten years, you

44:58

replaced the head of the broom

45:00

nine times, and he replaced the

45:02

shaft of the brooms six times,

45:04

then do you need to think about looking for a

45:06

supplier of sturdier brooms?

45:08

Answers in an email to beef and

45:10

dairy network at gmail dot

45:11

com.

45:11

So that's what we've got time for this month. But

45:14

if you're after more beef and dairy news, get

45:16

over to the

45:18

website now where you'll find all the usual stuff as well as our off

45:20

topic section. Where this month, you'll find

45:22

a prank video that we've put together,

45:24

where we got a Christopher

45:26

Walker lookalike to try and

45:28

fool Walker's wife. We thought it

45:30

was gonna be a fun little prank, but she

45:32

still hasn't twigged and the real

45:34

Christopher Walker who she now thinks

45:36

is a look like and won't let into

45:38

their house is having to live in his

45:40

car. In a way, it's more

45:42

successful than we could 91 imagined, but

45:44

on the other hand, It's really making us

45:46

rethink what we should do with the off topic section because

45:48

at the end of the day, he is a very

45:50

old man living now in the

45:52

cramped surroundings of a

45:54

Lamborghini comtash. So

45:55

until next time, be

45:58

found. Thanks

46:11

to Chris Cantrell, Amy Glatzel, and Tom

46:14

Crowley. Hi, everybody. My name

46:15

is Justin McElroy. And I'm Sydney

46:18

McElroy. Doctor Sydney That

46:19

that is true. It's important in this context because

46:21

we host a medical history

46:24

podcast called SABAs. Oh, I

46:26

thought we were gonna we shouldn't work in

46:28

that. 91. Cell bones isn't afraid to ask the hard

46:30

91 questions. Like, are

46:32

vaccines as safe and reliable as

46:34

they want us to

46:35

believe? Yes.

46:38

91 I have to get a flu shot? Yes.

46:40

Oh, okay. Is science a miracle? No.

46:45

We have a lot of great history for you and a

46:48

lot of laughs. And sometimes the history is

46:50

so bad that there's no

46:51

laughs. But

46:52

you'll learn something, you'll feel something. And it's always

46:55

91. That's

46:55

right. Every week, come

46:57

back to them fun,

46:59

dot org.

47:00

Maximum fun dot org,

47:01

comedy and culture, 91 owned,

47:06

audience 91,