Alternate title: It's A Sad Sad Sad Sad World...

How is it that John Green's work succeeds in only depressing/boring his readers and painting an ever darker picture of a damaged lonely little man? We'll have to answer that later, as we're too busy racing to the local Waffle House through the snow because, uh, there's cheerleaders there or something. Look, the motivation's pretty thin but at least our main characters will fall in love or whatever at the end. Merry Christmas I guess. Oh, and have we mentioned yet that cheerleaders are the scum of the earth? Because it's very important that you get that message drilled into your head.

https://archive.org/download/15thegreatwafflehouserace/15%20The%20Great%20Waffle%20House%20Race.mp3