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Welcome to Built Not Born, a podcast by Chelsea Tanzi.

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Here you will become more successful in every area of your life, one episode at a time.

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Built Not Born, because you don't have to be born with innate success to be the woman of your dreams.

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You build her. Welcome back to your favorite podcast with your girl, chelsea Tans.

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I am here with one of my favorite human beings on the entire planet.

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We spent this last weekend having probably some of the best conversations we've ever had, and it just brought us closer and closer.

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So we wrote a bunch of notes and we're like we have to.

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We have to podcast this, we have to record this.

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So this podcast is dedicated to saturday night oysters and the sunset.

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Let me introduce yourself hey, what's going on coach?

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sal here. Thank you for having me, um, yeah, super incredible conversation and I'm excited to unpack this.

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So thank you for having me.

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Miss chelsea tansey if you guys don't know already, if you guys guys are new here, this is my boyfriend.

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Yeah, that is me. What's going on?

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This is just a random that I found, but we have been spending the last.

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I guess is it three weeks now.

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Feels like it's been like six months.

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You guys. We thought, oh, it'll be so fun, we'll stay a little bit later.

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We could have left a week ago. But this last week has been both of us just like begging.

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We're like I can't wait to go home.

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Why is that? I think because A you have to buy water.

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We can't drink the tap water here.

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Like it's just different.

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Culturally it's just different, and I think that me and you are both such creatures of habit.

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Both such creatures of habit yeah, so being out of that kind of we're trying to take it the best that we can, but I think just being away from home for a really long time is something that both of us don't love yeah, I.

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I mean, I wish I could say I could get used to not flushing toilet paper, but you know, it's definitely, uh, probably something that I will never get used to because I texted him when I first got here, because I was here a week before he got here and I was like yeah, just.

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FYI, you can't flush toilet paper.

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And he waited until he got here the whole time he thought I was pranking him.

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I there was. Like I'm like there's no fucking way, like stop, like it's not even funny, like why are you trying to fuck with?

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me like and then we go to the bathroom and there's cans of of pretty much garbage cans everywhere.

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Stop, I'm gonna puke All right so anyway, in today's podcast what we're going to be covering is Okay, we won't talk about the TV situation.

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Yeah, let's move on. Thank you guys for tuning in.

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It's not his favorite and that's what I will say with it.

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But I think a big, big part of today's podcast is me and Sal I think more so recently have really dedicated ourselves to bringing a higher standard and more commitment to our business, in less of the sense of, oh, I want to make more money, I need to get more clients, like what a lot.

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What I see a lot of coaches focusing on. It's more so like how can I bring more purpose to it, how can I really develop this into something that is so transformational for the people that are coming into it, the people that are around me?

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And I think both me and him have just centered into finding our, our mission in life, like our actual purpose, and thinking how can I incorporate that into a program?

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so that it's so.

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It's almost like so integrated in as to who we are right, and I think that's a big reason why I am a fitness coach, because I do believe that the foundation starts with the relationship that you have with yourself and that begins by improving your you know physical, mental fitness inside of the gym, you know, with choosing better foods and practicing integrity, with not missing workouts, and it really that's why.

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I'm really so passionate about it because it helps you develop, you know, these bigger character traits that translate into the other aspects of your life, which for me is very important, because you can take somebody who maybe does not believe in themselves and completely transform their entire character.

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You know I think I just said character like three times but their entire existence into something they didn't feel was possible, and for me that's extremely fulfilling and rewarding.

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They didn't feel was possible and for me that's extremely fulfilling and rewarding, and I don't want it to be something that just stops at lifting weights, because it's a lot more than that which you would agree with correct yeah well, and it's funny too, because even just like knowing you for who you are and where you've come from and the transformation you've been through, so much of what you learn through doing fitness actually has nothing to do with fitness I mean it does, but it has less to do with fitness and more to do with, like, what you learn about yourself, who you become in the process and I

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think that it's so cool to see that, like, you're such an embodiment of that, and that's obviously why I'm with you, because it isn't just oh, he's this big jack guy, it's.

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It's the process of being integral, building that connection to yourself showing up when you say you're going to doing the hard things, having commitment, and I think that that's a really big thing that we talked about on Saturday was that fitness?

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Is the vehicle fitness isn't the overall transformation like cool, if you kind of you know, get super jacked, get six-pack abs, that's awesome.

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But fitness is the vehicle right yeah, because what I, what I've really grown to love, I think, over the last couple years, is taking somebody who's maybe like in the back of the room, so to speak, and like shy and reluctant to participate in the conversation, and I want to take them to be at the front of the room, like in the first seat, raising their hand, participating, you know, speaking with like energy and passion and enthusiasm, because it's two completely different people and I think they're that front row version of us, is inside of everybody, but it gets buried through these negative patterns and these beliefs that we have to work through and you could spend your whole life and not really do that.

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I think that's a big piece to what you're doing is like unpacking that and working through that, but I think that's the thing that really fires me up and gets me out of bed is seeing that side of the transformation, because once we could do that for somebody, it truly is remarkable and it's cool because you've done it yourself.

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Well, yeah, I've done it for myself and hundreds of people so I would like to think that I have a you know, an understanding a little bit of what that looks like, you know yeah, and I think that for both of us, the reason why we are so, it's like sometimes it's not that deep, but it kind of is that deep for us when it's like why we do what we do.

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Because for both me and sal, when it comes down to, you know who we're impacting by what we're doing.

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It's not just simply our clients, which that itself blows our minds.

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We say to each other all the time like can you believe we have people that just like pay up to learn from us, like that's so cool, it's pretty awesome.

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But just, you know, we both have parents.

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That kind of look up to us in a sense of you know starting to follow some of the things that we do, maybe start going to the gym maybe they're asking us for advice, and it's really, really cool to see that our impact goes so much deeper, because it isn't surface level.

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And I'm going to be so real there's a lot of coaches that I see in the space these days that are just like, so focused on, you know, the physical transformation, and we neglect to factor in the part that the mental aspect, who you become, like, really focusing in on who you are and building that identity, is by far, probably the most important parts of all of it.

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Right, you can tell someone how to deadlift, you can make them gain 10 pounds, but that's not going to make them confident, and so it's really cool for us to be able to look at this.

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And it's not. It's not just oh, I'm coach, let's make money from it.

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It's like this is what we're here to do. This is why we need to do it, because we have people depending on us, like we're we talk about this all the time too that we are pretty much one of one, like we don't have many people in our family that have gone this route.

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You know, build their own business, done what most people haven't done, and arguably, like you said, most people spend their whole lives not doing these things, not going out of their comfort zone, you know, not setting boundaries.

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Still people pleasing like having these limiting beliefs and thinking, oh, I just can't do it, because I was told that many moons ago.

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And so a big piece of our work is really being able to unravel that, whether through fitness, whether through self-growth, whatever it is it's really about how can we bring you back to who you're meant to be, and we do that just by being who we are.

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Right, which I think is the best part, yeah, authentic.

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I think a great example of that if you're in the gym is when you go to, let's say, do a certain move with a certain weight that you haven't done before.

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Your heart starts racing. You're not really sure if you can do it, and then, all of a sudden, you proved to yourself in that moment that not only could you do that, but maybe you pushed a little bit further than you thought you were capable of.

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And then you take that into something else when you leave the gym, because, honestly, being in shape is not really that hard.

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I'm just. I'm just gonna say I mean realistically, though, because 45 minutes to an hour is all you need for a good workout. You do that four times a week.

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You're chilling, you know. You eat dry food, sleep, whatever. You know. That's straightforward, right so it's like if that's the case, it can't be the only thing that we're doing in our lives.

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It really is such a small percentage, like you said, I do think it is the vehicle, but then you take the things that you're learning inside of that and you put that into your career, into your relationships and how you speak and lead other people, which is, I think, a big reason that we're chatting about this yeah, correct, yeah.

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so I think for both of us it's not just about like a minute transformation, that just you kind of feel that maybe you, you know, have better energy and you lost 10 pounds.

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It's like let's see how we can ripple this across every aspect of your life to make you a better human being.

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Right, because it doesn't stop there at the 10 pounds.

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Never, let's be real and entertain that here for a second, because we have both spent a lot of time in the gym.

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12 years, how many years have you been?

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training. Eight to 10. Eight to 10. So arguably have both spent a lot of time in the gym.

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You know 12 years. How many years have you been training? Eight to ten, so arguably, what that's like 25 years collectively.

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It's a good amount of time and that's what's funny about it.

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Side note was like people see us, you know, in our mid to late 20s like, well, what do you know?

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You know what makes you qualified? Well, it's like in the realm of experience of what we're doing, we have a lot of fucking trials and tribulations you know, where was it going with that?

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I lost my train of thought, fuck one of my favorite things that I think about and I always follow, because even my kind of like scope practice under, like life coaching, there's a lot of I've seen a lot of posts lately that are talking down on 20 something year olds being a life coach.

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Haha, it's like this whole meme in the coaching space which I try to not let get to me.

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But something that I always repeat to myself is that knowledge without experience cannot produce wisdom, and so it's really huge for me to even look at I see people who are in their 40s, in their 50s, in their 60s, and they don't even understand the depth of what I understand because of what I put myself through.

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Right, right, not a lot of people can say they ran away from home and lived off of Boston pizza scrappings to make it through.

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Yeah, I can't say that.

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No, we were talking about that the other day. He was like what were you?

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Very unique human is what is what you are Like you said a one of one.

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I A very unique human is what you are like.

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You said a one-of-one. I had a really good example and I lost it before, so maybe we just continue. Maybe it'll come up, yeah.

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I think that, at the end of the day, the biggest thing that both me and Sal talk about and try to be, because this is what I see is that there's a lot of people that will tell you what you need to do.

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There's a lot of coaches in the space that will tell you how to do form, how to eat the right food, et cetera, but what is often lacking is the authenticity in embodiment, what you're talking about.

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Show me that you're doing it, show me how you do it, show me how you navigate it, show me how you're growing.

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Show me that side of you, because I think that there's been this side of the coaching industry that's been so pushed to like constantly put value out there, and I truly believe that's because a lot of people are imposters and the more that you know, the less you feel like you're actually an imposter, but it actually, in my opinion and in my case, makes it worse.

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What helps me combat imposter syndrome is embodying the stuff that I say, and I think that not being a perfect coach has honestly been my superpower, where it's like you don't have to show up perfectly every day, but show up and be so real about where you're at.

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Show up and be authentic.

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Embody what you say If I have a bad day.

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I will have a bad day, I will own it, I will be honest and I will show you how I could get through it right, instead of people that will just go online and be like da, da da sunshines rainbows, everything's good.

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Because there's also a trust factor that I think needs to be built, with an audience where you're actually showing truly who you are.

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And I think that's such an important piece because being an embodied leader.

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That's how you attract opportunities.

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That's how you attract clients. That's how you attract you know, even ideas for yourself to apply into creating a program, and so something that I was talking to Sal about was it's not about selling a program.

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That's not what this is about. This is about creating a movement that's so fucking huge for you.

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That is so big that you're like cracking your chest open and putting your whole heart on the table and then you're able to help people through a program.

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But the first part is your mission.

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Your mission comes first. Your whole page becomes about this mission that you're creating Something that you care so much about, something that you're embodying, something that you live by.

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Like, if I wasn't a coach, I would still be posting what I post, I would still be doing what I do because I fucking love it.

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I live for this, and I think that's the huge, the biggest part that a lot of coaches miss because they just post, because they want to make money.

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Well, where is your heart in?

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it. So, to expand on that, I think, a good question to dig into for those who are listening.

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So, regardless if it's like fitness or mindset healing, whatever it is it's like, why are you doing the things you're doing?

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you want to know my why well, you could maybe give that example if you feel called to, but I think sometimes, like we could say a lot of things, but I want to make sure that people that are listening get some form of like value to chew on after the episode, because correct me if I'm wrong you know there's a lot of, like you said, information and content that's being posted on a daily basis.

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There's so much noise, so it's like well, what do you do with all that shit?

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And that's really the shift that I've been trying to make recently with what I'm doing is like let me give you things to like sit with and like ask yourself that way you can actually work towards a result that makes sense for you, like not just scrolling on tiktok and seeing other people do things.

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It's like what do you truly want for yourself?

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and why and like does that make sense for the reality and the, the life that you're trying to create for yourself I actually love that because I think a lot of people right now are really especially with the conversations I've had, there's a lot of people who don't know their purpose or don't really know why they want to do it, and they kind of have lost that part of themselves.

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And obviously I'm going to be biased and say the first thing that you need to be doing is the self work so you know yourself better, you know your story better, but at one point there was something that was so important to you.

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that thought wow, I can transmute this into coaching and I think that that thing that whatever that was, you know, your come to Jesus moment.

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I think it grows over time. I really do think that it continues to expand, you know.

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Take me, for example. You know I started coaching because I battled the eating disorder.

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I started to understand macros.

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I started coaching because I battled the eating disorder. I started to understand macros. I started to go to the gym, I started to get strong and I was like, wow, this feels very powerful.

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How can I, how I can, alchemize so much of this pain and suffering into something that actually feels good?

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That made me feel a little bit more confident.

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But I think that at the end of the day, the more that I pushed, I was like holy crap.

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This has nothing to do with fitness. So I was like okay, I'm going to dabble into the mindset because that's always been something that's like deeply interested me.

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I've always been like taking psychology through high school.

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I took AP in high school up until college.

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Going through that I was just trying to understand human behavior because I always just wanted a deeper understanding of myself.

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And as I started to go through this process and it's's funny I was thinking about this the other day how the whole time I've been so fixated on the people like me, how I can help them, because something that was so obvious for me in previous mentorships was how little people cared about what they actually did, how how lost people were, how mind-centered they weren't heart-centered they were so stuck in their mind that they couldn't actually make it.

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I know I want to say make a living in the sense that they actually enjoy it.

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They made money. I know people that have made a ton of money but has it actually felt good for them and has it felt sustainable.

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And so when I come at my current business model, I think my biggest why is because, number one, I've been there.

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I've been the burnt out woman that thought that I couldn't have it all that.

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In order to have something good, it needed to come with sacrifice, and I don't.

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I just like to the depths of my soul.

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I don't believe that's true. I don't believe that you have to sacrifice all the good things in life just to get something that you want, because, the more that I lean into my faith, I'm like you're destined for this, and I tell you this all the time.

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I'm like you were not created for something that you have to struggle for.

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You were never created for something that you have to force yourself to do.

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If you feel like you're forcing yourself, something's out of alignment and so being able to guide women back into a way of sharing their heart, sharing their story, and then being able to be compensated for it, I'm like that's the coolest thing in the world, because, for me, the deeper we get in our authenticity, the deeper we get in our authenticity, the deeper we get our vulnerability and we just share our stories.

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Like that's the the most powerful thing in the world, and I truly think that a lot of people see their adversity, see what they went through as they weaponize it against themselves versus using it to push them forward because, they think that it makes them different, or maybe they pull shame over it, when in actuality, your story was given to you for a purpose and maybe it's hard to see right now, but when you can actually start growing through that and sharing that with the world, that's going to be the thing.

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That difference differentiates you from everybody else and gives you that power that you've been missing I want to just like pause there for a second because that's a really good point, and I just want people to try and digest that for a second, sometimes just like a quick silence is good.

17:30

And also the thought that I had before it came back do you mind if I go back to that?

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Yeah, sure.

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I think what I was trying to hammer home is once you lose the 10 pounds, get the abs, grow the glutes.

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It's not enough.

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Oh, it never is enough. If anything, and you can tell me if this is accurate, for me, it made it worse because when I was in the brink of my eating disorder and my goal was I'm going to hit under 100 pounds, going to be in the double digits, that's going to be the goal and I hit that goal.

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It made me feel worse because I was expecting something magical to happen.

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I was expecting myself, to love myself and be confident and all this stuff to happen.

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And it made it worse because it didn't happen. I didn't get the payoff that I thought that I would get.

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I felt the same way once I finished up my last prep, because once I got off stage and like everything dwindled down, I was like oh fuck, well, now what?

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You know, I didn't get the outcome that I wanted, I felt like a failure and I kind of started to spiral a little bit because I felt like I had failed the mission that I set out to do and it kind of reinforced, like my childhood wound of like I'm not good enough, no matter how hard I try, because I fucking like a piece of my soul was left my body during that prep, you know, and I still I had the intention to win.

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I didn't win anyway, but the point that I'm trying to share with that is that I think a lot of us feel like we need this result to be happy, like I'll be happy when I get this certain thing.

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And you procrastinate for this vision and you try and like run yourself in the ground to get there, only to realize that once you get there it's not as great as you thought it was going to be, and then it pushes you into trying, exploring, to explore the, the next thing, and then that's kind of where we're getting to is like the, the deep mission, rooted purpose of like digging into why we're doing these things, and I could share mine if you feel like that would be useful.

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I would love for you, because I think that's where we're kind of going with this right.

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I have seen so much struggle within my family growing up and it's not to say I didn't have a good upbringing because I did but when I look at the trajectory of generations of the family tree, there's a certain level of change that I feel called and obligated to create.

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Is it's not to say that I don't think other people in my family are capable of it, but I feel like I'm the one that's supposed to lead us to this said journey and, you know, destination.

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Does that make sense? I feel like.

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I think that there's always one person or maybe there's not always like one person in every family, but most families only have one, unless you grew up in like an entrepreneurial home.

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But then again the person that started that journey would have been the first one.

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Right.

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Like, even if it's not entrepreneurship, cause I really want to make this like broad enough If you don't currently have a business, if you're not a coach, like I think that this still applies for you.

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Starting to do the inner work, starting a weight loss journey, a lot of things that we see or that we don't see 99% of people doing, and I tell my clients this all the time.

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I'm like you're the 10%, because 90% of people that we see at Walmart passing on the street aren't willing to do the work that you guys are doing because it's uncomfortable, because it's not easy, right, it costs money, a lot of the time to hire a mentor and being able to get better.

20:47

But you know, there's often that comparison of looking at well, choose your heart like what's worse staying in the same spot, hating your life, feeling you know shitty, not having energy, not having that like that juice for life, or working hard to get there, because once you get there, you you kind of just coast.

21:04

But I think that when it comes down to even working towards a goal is there is a huge, huge, huge portion of people who have this sense of urgency towards it.

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And I understand when you think that's something super important, that you feel like you have to race towards it.

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I get it because I've been there too, especially when you're like, oh, it's going to make me happy.

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But I think it's so important for us to recognize that that's often why you have imposter syndrome, that's often why you have self-doubt, that's often why those negative emotions come up, because you're trying to force this thing, you're running towards it in fear that you might not get it, whereas a lot of what me and Sal work through is like, how can we start to see this from a faith-based perspective, where this was something that was given to me, handed to me at birth.

21:49

This is what I'm created for, this is what is like my calling. I'm working towards it and, kind of like I said the other day, it's like if you're out on sea on a boat and you have the compass point to the right direction, you're not going to be overthinking how many days it takes to get there.

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You just know if we're going in the right direction, we'll get there.

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So why don't we enjoy the ride, enjoy the sunsets, enjoy what life has to offer along the way?

22:09

And I think that's really one of the biggest pieces to being able to create a sustainable journey towards whatever you're working towards, whether it's fitness, like lifestyle, self-growth, business, whatever it is.

22:21

Because something that I've learned that changed how I operated at such a like, such a huge level, is.

22:28

I looked at how I operated in my fitness journey and what I've learned, and then I started applying those same tactics to my business.

22:35

I'm not going to lose 10 pounds tomorrow, so why am I like?

22:40

If you go to the gym for three hours today versus ten hours today, is that going to get you closer to your goal?

22:46

No, no. But there's this idea in business where the harder you work, the longer you work, the you know.

22:52

Obviously you have to get the shit that you need to get done, yes, but burning yourself out isn't going to help you get there.

22:58

Likewise, if you have a weight loss client and they're on the treadmill 24-7 doing keto, like not feeding themselves, not allowing them their body to recoup, it can actually, more often than not, because it's less sustainable, hold you back.

23:12

So how can we start creating our lives in a way that actually feels good for us?

23:16

And I think that that's really what it comes down to and when you're so involved in your purpose and you're like I love this, this so much, it becomes enjoyable.

23:25

I think that was a big reason. Well, I shouldn't say a big reason.

23:29

I think it was the reason why I ended up in the hospital.

23:31

Yeah, Like I'll just be honest, Like, transparently.

23:36

I was guilty of what you just said, of, like you know, waking up and rushing through my morning routine to get to my client messages to make sure that everyone's taken care of and answered, and it started to get so bad where I was doing work seven days a week, all day, every day, because I just wanted the result so badly.

23:57

And I guess I mean, have we talked about on your podcast at all?

24:02

Have you shared anything about my journey with that? I wasn't sure, no off, tell us um so valentine's day, woke up, was having heart attack like okay, also the fact it was valentine's day yeah, just for context, I'm a very healthy dude and you know I've been exercising for years and eating clean, tracking all that, whatever and I've started recently getting closer to god and developing my relationship with you know him, and building my faith and all that.

24:28

And I had asked for a sign that I was on. It's funny how that works.

24:32

Looking back, I asked for a sign of like yo, like am I on the right path?

24:35

Like, am I living my purpose?

24:37

And he was like sit the fuck down, you know.

24:39

That's pretty much how it went much otherwise.

24:45

Yeah, I had this whole um day planned on valentine's day. I woke up, you know we were going to do all these things and you know I was having a heart attack.

24:48

Essentially is what it felt like, you know, and after a few hours of it not going away and you were like, hey, like we should probably go get looked at.

24:55

And I was. I couldn't even drive or walk and I was supposed to train legs that day.

24:59

It was so painful I couldn't even breathe.

25:00

He was literally about to get in the car and go to the gym and I, like I, had to force him.

25:06

Getting him to miss a training session is like pulling teeth, y'all.

25:08

And I was like I'm not taking any chances.

25:11

If this is something you are experiencing, I don't care about the hospital bill.

25:14

I don't care, like I don't care about anything. I canceled the meeting with my clients and I was like we are going to the hospital now.

25:20

Right, Um, yeah, I mean to expand on that even more.

25:23

I don't think I've missed a training session in like five, six years anyway.

25:27

That's a side note, but the reason I'm sharing this is because, like I think, I ended up in the hospital and went through that, because I burnt myself out, because it was an anxiety attack, because they ran all these tests and found nothing.

25:41

There was no issues with my lungs or my heart or anything.

25:44

Yeah, what were some of the thoughts that were going through your.

25:48

Oh man, just a lot. I mean, at first I was like I don't know what this is.

25:52

I was a little freaked out. As we got deeper and deeper into that day, I think it got worse because they told me that they wanted to keep me overnight and they didn't like the way the EKG was and I was like, well, how does this make any sense?

26:03

And there was that dark moment.

26:16

You remember that first room where the doctor was like yeah, I mean, it's not looking too good here, buddy? Yeah, you saw my face and I just sat there in like silence for like 20 minutes because I literally thought I was like you know in the process of dying, and that was fucking crazy, because I I don't think we understand how death is truly real.

26:24

And sometimes we're like, oh, you know, it can't happen to me.

26:27

Like you know, like not me, I can't get this.

26:29

But then when does it fucking shakes you to your core where you're like, oh no, like this is like real shit you know, health stuff is scary, yeah, but I was just bringing that up because, to go off of your point, it was like I didn't realize how what I was doing and how I was operating was so detrimental to my health until I took a step back, detrimental to my health until I took a step back where it's like now, the last few months I'm recovering from that, I think from like a nervous system standpoint, where it's like I have I don't want to say a difficult time like showing up for work tasks, but it's in a different way and I think it's more authentic and it's more I was going to use the word flowy because that's it's kind of what it sounds like with you, you know, yeah, but uh, I hope that kind of brings some light to this

27:15

conversation because I think that's where we're headed right.

27:17

Can we talk about the fact that? What was it like a week before, a few days before?

27:21

nick was like you, dude, you should take two days, yeah, on my one-to-one check call with my business coach mentor, he was like yeah, you need to fucking like take some like a two-week vacation.

27:31

And I was like no, I'm fine.

27:32

Don't sweat it and literally I think two days later I ended up in the hospital, which is crazy because he identified that and then we came to Mexico.

27:40

So, as much as I want to say, the last few months have maybe been a little slower business-wise.

27:45

I think it was a necessary time to reflect and decompress, so now I could show up even better and even, you know, more efficient within the next few months and years.

27:56

And that's the point I was trying to make with all this, because you were saying that a lot of us lead from a place of what scarcity, lack, fear, and I was doing that, trying to like, force, all these things like I think you made a good example a while ago.

28:08

We were chatting of like, trying to force, like a square into a circle shape yeah, you say something like that.

28:14

I literally picture a toddler because this was me, I'm pretty sure I have a video of this a toddler pissed off as hell trying to fit that that circle into a square.

28:23

But why isn't it working? Why isn't it working right?

28:25

the wrong shape yeah, that's how I, literally, if we could give like a physical representation of what that looks like, it's like me as a kid on a playground, just just over and over again trying to fit this square into the circle shape and it just wasn't going, you know, and I think it's because it wasn't from a place of true alignment, like you're saying, and I didn't realize how important that was until you started to really, you know, share and unpack that.

28:50

So you've helped me through that you guys.

28:52

It's so cool. We literally coach each other if you guys ever wonder what it's like to be in a house with us?

28:57

it's just coaching each other yeah, it's pretty much like any thought becomes a content, idea or a podcast, or you know a shoot, or you know some type of oh.

29:08

So you must be feeling this and it's like motherfuckers, oh, it's your daddy issues.

29:10

it's like sometimes it's not that and it's like motherfuckers. Oh, it's your daddy issues.

29:12

It's like sometimes it's not that deep man, it's like fuck, let me turn my brain off and watch the Knicks or some shit.

29:16

Let's just watch, like let's just have pudding and play games.

29:18

Can I just watch the Mets in peace, once for once in my life, you know, but it's really special and I just as them.

29:34

So to be able to it is kind of a blessing and a curse, because a lot of our conversations are, you know, there's a lot of relationships that don't bring homework or work home with them, but luckily we both do the same thing and we work from home, so that becomes very difficult for us yeah, it's sometimes pretty fucking annoying sometimes, because you can't escape it we have to like on dates.

29:51

We're like, hey, no business talk, and then two minutes later, it's like, all right, let's draw a boundary and not talk about work.

29:57

And then like, okay, and I'm just like looking at the sky I don't even know who I have help but I think it's, I think it all comes back down to, because we are like our program is us.

30:08

It's not a separate thing, it's not a different entity, like every part of who I am is poured into my program my girls get every single piece of that, and so I think that it's so hard for me not to talk about it, because it literally is me right.

30:22

Obviously I know who I am outside of business and I can yeah, I was just joking, I was like a five-year-old when I need to and whatever.

30:28

But for the most part, I think both of us are so heavily integrated into the work that we do because when you do love the work that you do you don't really want to take time off, although it's necessary.

30:38

I will say it is necessary.

30:40

You kind of learned that the hard way.

30:42

Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I fucking love communicating with my clients and showing up calls and, like you said, it doesn't really feel like a job at times because I feel like I was trying to do it anyway before I even opened up an LLC.

30:55

I'm just like truly wanting to help people.

30:57

I remember like when I was first getting out of college and entertaining this idea, I was like I would get on phone calls with my friends and like try to build them meal plans for free or just you know like give them workouts.

31:08

Those first, like couple months, are brutal.

31:14

I actually can't even fathom putting myself back into that situation, because I, you know, I don't know how the fuck we did it, but you, you said, um, not everybody has a relationship where their partner kind of does something similar.

31:23

But just to touch on that really quick, that wasn't like an accident though, if you think about it, because we're both prior to getting together, we're really fixated on learning and growing to certain versions, correct?

31:37

So that could be maybe a different topic for another day.

31:40

I don't know if you want to expand on that, because I think I might have shared this on my social media or maybe a podcast.

31:46

I feel like I touched on this. I could be wrong, but you would not have been interested in me if I wasn't this version of myself.

31:53

If I was the previous version you would have been like no way.

31:58

I would have been like see you down, buddy.

32:00

Yeah, have fun, and that's kind of how I felt I don't know what the fuck I just said.

32:04

I think, I just had a stroke.

32:07

We'll just delete that. That's how I felt when I first sent you that Facebook message.

32:12

Oh, just delete that uh that's how I felt when I first sent you that that facebook message was oh my god, yeah, I'm not gonna let that one go.

32:17

She fucking saw my message. It didn't answer me. I was like, okay, okay you don't get the right to not answer me, motherfucker for the.

32:23

For context, we were in the same mentorship program and I would get so many messages at the time from like business coaches trying to coach me, like there's especially on Facebook.

32:33

If you have the word coach in your profile like you were targeted like hot fire people want to write your emails, people want to be work with you and there's just so much of that, and so I think your first message to me this was before we met.

32:47

It was like two months before we met.

32:48

He creeps somehow stopped me down oh, you were in the Facebook group for the fucking live event and I scrolled through to see who was going and I saw your profile and I was like hey like excited to connect.

33:00

That's what you said. So you said that to everyone.

33:02

You were excited to connect.

33:03

No dude Like I don't remember, but I don't think so, why'd you pick me?

33:08

Because I thought you were cute. I was like, oh, she's pretty.

33:13

Let me say I'm excited to connect.

33:15

Yes, he was like hey, you're excited to connect.

33:17

It was something like that.

33:18

Never answer. I don't think I ever opened it, though Like I don't think I left him on read.

33:22

I think I just genuinely never opened it.

33:26

I get so many in a day, it never would cross my mind.

33:31

You might as well have messaged me like boo-boo bop.

33:33

Do you like cats All?

33:34

right. So for my guys out there, just make sure, when you hit on someone, just say boo-boo bop and let me know how that goes.

33:43

And then you come up to me first time we ever met and say, hey, do you want to move to Florida?

33:46

And here we are. I did.

33:47

That's also another really good idea for you guys to write down. You know, if you're going to uh, you know pitch a girl to live with you, you should probably do that the first day that you meet her.

33:53

Just throwing that out there for you.

33:56

Make sure you save that one but I think, like like jokes aside, I think it's so cool to see how you know, how you've grown in the last, like few weeks, especially few weeks, really tremendous, yeah, huge, and I think a lot of it is like and this might sound a little cheesy here, but I honestly think it was like God bringing us together, because us together, like we are able to mirror and just expand on each other's purposes.

34:19

So much if you guys don't know, I don't know if I put this on podcast.

34:22

A lot of my business model right now is literally for style.

34:26

A lot of my, a lot of my content is like us talking about it right because and we're both working through stuff when it's- like the imposter syndrome or you know any of those thoughts and feelings that we have, because we both came from a mentorship that was so heavily rooted in.

34:42

like rise and grind, motherfucker.

34:44

Like kill yourself to make money.

34:46

Like pay people to do your job for you, and like there was just a model that I'll be transparent.

34:52

It didn't really resonate with both of us. And I think, just like being able to for both of us to grow through that together, mirror our experiences together, and I honestly think it was like a God thing.

35:03

That God was like tell her to move with you and somehow we ended up making it work, because just seeing our evolution together and even you in the past few weeks, like you can tell- Thank you, I appreciate that.

35:13

Yeah, I don't know, I felt like there was maybe like a microchip in my head that day and it was just like say say I don't know what something took over me.

35:20

Cause like I didn't plan, that it's not like.

35:24

I got on the plane and was like, yeah, I'm going to ask this.

35:28

But yeah, you know, higher power, purpose, alignment, faith, all that good jazz.

35:34

I feel a lot better.

35:35

It lasts definitely you know a few months and a few weeks.

35:38

What do you think has been the biggest shit?

35:49

I mean, I would like to say definitely building my faith, my relationship with God, you know, staying away from drugs and alcohol, except mushrooms.

35:52

You didn't really drink any drugs before that, though. No, I've really been pretty heavily sober since like 2019, you know, late 2019, early 2020.

35:58

Covid really changed my life, you know, for a number of really good reasons.

36:04

And I know that was a difficult time for a lot of people. So it's not like me trying to, you know, lesser or lighten that situation by any means, but for me it was a deep time of reflection and really, for the first time in my life, being able to look inside and get clarity on where I was trying to go.

36:20

And during that time, you know, I was working a corporate job and within, you know, a day or two.

36:26

Well, I had been in that job for like a year or two, but within a couple of days, like all of a sudden, sudden, my, my pension salary was just sliced in half.

36:33

The rug was pulled out from under my feet. So then I saw, in that moment I was like, well, nothing is safe.

36:38

The only thing I could truly rely on is myself. So why wouldn't I just take the reality or the control of my fate into my own hands?

36:47

And that was a big reason why I felt called to pursue coaching and entrepreneurship, because it sounded like a more, I guess, safer route honestly, there is risks and it is hard, but it makes me feel 10 times safer that I never have to worry about that because, like I determined how much energy and time I put forth and it's like that whole psychological aspect of like when you're constantly being told what to do, like you don't want to fucking do it you know, like that's

37:16

like men logic 101.

37:17

I've had to learn that the hard way, yeah, but it's like I mean you could make that analogy for a female who, like you know, grew up with maybe some parents who are pretty strict, like when you're constantly, when you're constantly being told like hey, don't do this, be home at this time.

37:31

You're constantly being told like hey, don't do this, be home at this time. You're like fuck you, I'm going to stay out five minutes past that just because Are you literally?

37:35

running away from home and sneaking out at night.

37:37

You just want to be a spiteful teenager, you know.

37:40

So it's like kind of the same thing. It's so true, and that's how I saw it.

37:43

I was like I really I always had this deep desire to help other people and for a long time I didn't really understand what that looked like or what that meant, and eventually, through my own transformation, it really just evolved into fitness coaching and helping other people.

38:00

I had a really good fucking sentence and again, I lost it, so yeah no because because, okay, I'll double back on that really quick because, like you know, when you're growing up and everyone in your family's like what do you want to do?

38:11

you know, where do you want to go to school? What do you want to study?

38:14

What do you want to do for work? Like I had no fucking idea what that looked like.

38:17

I always just said I want to help other people and that was it.

38:21

That was the only constant theme and trend and it still is true to this day and naturally it's evolved into what I'm doing now because of the work that I've done on myself and like that's what you were saying is like our program is us and I believe the same thing true to my core.

38:35

For that reason is because I'm just helping somebody else walk the path that I've already walked and that's why I rebranded my company into team evolution coaching, cause I believe in team culture, camaraderie and doing things together and naturally looking to improve and not being satisfied with the version that you are today.

38:52

You should always be looking to learn and improve.

38:54

That's why I hashtag it all the time my post never satisfied, always improving.

38:58

Because you need to have that student mindset and embrace that, because if you start to get complacent, you're going backwards.

39:04

If you're not moving forward, you're going backwards.

39:06

Right, and we can probably spend a lot of time on that.

39:08

I know that was a little bit of a no, I think that's incredible, but I love being able able to see your heart in it.

39:14

I think that one thing and I think that we're both really trying to do better with this is sharing your heart online with it.

39:20

It's like why are we doing what we're doing?

39:21

There's a billion coaches.

39:23

It feels like in the world these days. What separates?

39:26

us from the rest of them, and I think a lot of it has to do with why we do what we do and like really putting our heart in it being actually integral and embodied to the work that we do.

39:36

And I think when you have such a mission driven purpose, that's when everything falls into place.

39:44

That's really where you know and a lot of people talk about this where it's like you might start, and I think that both of us like, if we're being honest, started for our own glory, where we did it for ourselves.

39:52

We wanted to escape the nine to five. We wanted to make more money.

39:56

We wanted to. You know, there was definitely a sense of ego, especially for me that was in it.

40:00

That was like this makes me feel cool, like just point blank period.

40:03

This feels fun for me, right, and it was so focused on what I wanted and there came a point where it stopped becoming about what I wanted and it started to become about what like almost like God wanted for me.

40:16

It was for God's glory. It wasn't for mine anymore.

40:18

I wasn't doing, like you know, the most recent shifts I did in my business.

40:21

It doesn't make sense if we're looking at what's going to make the most money, what's easiest, because I could flash my ass, get a million views and sell booty programs all day long until the cows come home.

40:30

So why?

40:30

did I make that shift Because I genuinely feel like God called me to make that shift.

40:35

Because I was like, I feel like I have to, I feel like this is my responsibility.

40:38

And so it's not about me anymore.

40:40

It's about the people that need it, and it's about God, who's depending on me to make that change, so he can channel through me and I can change these people's lives.

40:47

That is some nuggets and I agree with that, not in the sense.

40:51

I'll just be honest, I didn't really start it for my own benefit, you know.

40:54

I actually did want to help other people, but you know.

40:56

But there's always a part.

40:57

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

40:58

There's always that part of you that's like come on. No, like I will be transparent.

41:07

Like the last thing I wanted to do was commute in and who spent, you know, five years at college going all the classes and taking out the loans and doing all that shit to get a degree and do absolutely nothing with it.

41:16

Of course I didn't want to come out of college and be a construction worker yeah, like I didn't think that was going to be.

41:22

I wanted to help people, but first and foremost, I would like I needed to help myself first yeah, it was like a double whammy where it's like we wanted it for and that's the thing I think for a lot of us.

41:33

like, until you truthfully get sick of your own shit, you're going to continue to tolerate people, places and things that are not serving you because you don't feel like you're capable or qualified maybe to do other things.

41:43

I actually read a really good chapter and I did a live training on this in my community yesterday.

41:46

I'm reading do the new you by steven ferdick and he actually told a story about how, when he was a kid, he went into a sports card trading store and he grew up in the eighties Right, so hear me out for a second and he pulled a Michael Jordan card, but he didn't know who Michael Jordan was.

42:01

So the cashier behind the counter looked at him and was like.

42:04

Hey, buddy, like I'll trade you three packs of cards for that Michael Jordan card.

42:07

And he was like a nine-year-old kid, he's like and he was like a nine-year-old kid, he's like, fuck yeah, here's the packs of cards.

42:13

So he walks out, gets into the car with his mom and then she asks how did you get three packs of cards?

42:18

And he said, oh well, I traded the one and he was giving me three packs.

42:22

So she was like what do you mean? So she asked who was the one card?

42:25

No-transcript.

42:38

So you have to see yourself as a Michael Jordan.

42:41

You have to approach your life every single day, I think, with that energy and that enthusiasm.

42:45

Otherwise people just don't want to be around you. You know, if I walked around hunkering down in my fucking seat and I was like please In the back of the room, like you kind of said I was like please sign up for my coaching Can you guys play.

42:55

Do you guys want to work with me?

42:57

You'd be like this guy's a fucking idiot, Get the fuck out of my DMs.

43:00

So I thought that was a really powerful story that I recently read.

43:06

It's pretty crazy to think about. Right, it kind of goes with the example example that you said at the start of the podcast of like there's a lot of people who stand in the back of the room because they don't see their value, how do you start to become the person that's at the front of the room grabbing the mic, being that confident person?

43:18

because I think a lot of people think that I'm just not that way.

43:21

I'm an introvert. That's just not who I am, and it's like.

43:25

Is it, though? Or is there thoughts and limiting beliefs and factors that are actually limiting you from the potential that you were born to have?

43:32

It's not that you're not actually a morning person or you're not capable of all the things that you tell yourself you can't do every single day.

43:38

It's that you feed it each and every day.

43:40

If you make the example of like a garden I think I said that to you the other day you did.

43:46

If you make the example of like some form of a plant, how does the plant grow?

43:50

Well, you need to give it water, food, sunlight, and if you don't pick the weeds and do that shit every single day, it's probably going to be a pretty shitty plant, right or wrong?

43:58

Yep, Right. So your life, your fitness, your career, your relationships are all the same thing.

44:03

You've got to pick the fucking weeds out, put the water in it, give it food, make sure you put it in the sunlight, and if you do that over and over again, then eventually you could reap the rewards and I want to add to that too, because you know what's something that's actually huge for plants what energy interesting there's studies that show different types of music impact growth oh, here we go.

44:26

Guys, buckle up. This is the best part of the episode.

44:28

We got some fucking nuggets.

44:30

Here it's true, though, so I gotta grow some serious tomatoes.

44:34

Brittany Roth talked about this all the time and she also has a cat Mango.

44:38

So this makes sense. But she'll leave music on and have cute legs in her house because the like the plants genuinely get that energy.

44:45

If you play like rock and screamo, your plants are more likely to die, versus if you play like classical music that they like.

44:51

Well, can I push back on that? Because I crank heavy metal in the gym.

44:54

My workouts are fucking awesome, but this is the plant.

44:58

Do your plants grow from it?

45:00

Probably not, they're probably pretty dead, you don't have any?

45:03

Yeah, I have zero plants.

45:06

You get the point.

45:06

We can get you one. It's a good example. Well, we do have Henry.

45:13

I think that this is a big thing. To just like to keep it in context, okay, if you are a plant and plants are just as susceptible to the energy around them, you also need to make sure that you are understanding that for yourself as well.

45:21

Right, and something that me and you go back and forth with a lot is that when we're going back to talking about value in itself and this is something I think is so huge even for coaches to understand is value is all perception, it's all perceived.

45:36

So it's really not about how can I be more valuable because you already are.

45:40

Everyone is at a base level. There's nothing that's like someone is more valuable than the other.

45:45

It's just the perception of it. So, even if we're looking at you know a lot of people that idolize celebrities and influencers, et cetera.

45:53

Why does their, you know, signature mean more than somebody else's?

45:58

It's all perception. If I was to hold a Taylor Swift DVD and maybe like a Beastie Boys DVD, which one would you want signed more?

46:06

I? would say Beastie Boys yeah because it's all perception, whereas 99% of the girls on the planet would say Taylor Swift, right, but that's not valuable to you, you wouldn't care for that.

46:15

No, I fucking hate Taylor Swift so it just goes to show you know in the world that you are Michael Jordan.

46:24

Like you need to make sure that you're perceiving yourself as valuable.

46:27

How can I create that perception around myself?

46:30

And I'll be so honest, it's not just about creating this fake facade.

46:33

A lot of it comes when you actually respect yourself.

46:35

So I talk a lot about setting boundaries.

46:38

You know being not being a people pleaser, because what that starts to do is you create the perception that you are a value.

46:44

Not only that, other people start to believe that, you start to believe it as well.

46:49

Right. So basically, you have to make sure that you're willing to explore some of the more challenging things.

46:55

I guess you could say that. I truly believe that, like all of the results that you want in your life, is on the other side of the work that you're not doing.

47:06

Say that again the results that you want in your life is on the other side of the work that you're not doing.

47:13

So picture for those who are on the video Okay, you look at this coffee mug, you're here and you want to go here.

47:20

You have to jump into this mug and fight through this shit to then get over here.

47:24

You can't go around it. The only way out is through.

47:28

You have to go through this and then, once you get to this side, you're like I don't know how the fuck I stayed over here for that long.

47:34

Yeah, I always tell my clients. It's like you have to go through a cave to get to the treasure, but the cave has bats and you're scared of bats.

47:40

Pretty much.

47:40

You're going to have to go through the bats Right.

47:42

And I think for me that's a big reason why I coach people is because I know how how it feels to rip apart your closet for hours and hate the way all of the, the way that your clothes fit.

47:54

You know and and I I wore.

47:57

I don't know if I've ever told you about that.

47:58

You wore the same shirt every weekend. Oh, I guess I did.

48:01

I would like to think you know me pretty well.

48:03

You hope so by now.

48:05

Um, yes, but that that was a big thing for 2018, 2019, I kind of let myself go and I was wearing the same shirt every single weekend because I couldn't afford to buy another one and also like I wasn't taking my own goals seriously.

48:20

So I put on a lot of weight and I was very self-conscious and I failed my finish journey probably four or five times, which is why I could really resonate with somebody who's either, you know, just starting and really having a difficult time and working, or helping them through that process, because I've lived that, you've lived that and something that I think that we really need to come back to, because when we started having this conversation on Saturday, it wasn't even about how can I, you know, be this person?

48:46

How can I go through these things for clients?

48:48

Because, I'll be honest, a lot of what I do is okay.

48:51

Well, what would I tell my clients to do? Okay, because, I'll be honest, a lot of what I do is okay.

48:54

Well, what would I tell my clients to do? Okay, I'm going to do that. But a lot of it comes down to for me is looking at, I'm going to be a mom someday.

48:59

How can I set?

49:00

myself up now to be that version of myself.

49:03

That is going to be a good role model for those little beings.

49:07

They soak up every single thing that you do.

49:09

You can tell them to do something, but if you're not actively showing them how they're not going to.

49:13

You can tell them take time for yourself. Take time for yourself, but if you're constantly neglecting your own needs, they're not going to listen to you.

49:20

They're going to grow up just as busy, just as urgent, just as self-neglectful as you are.

49:25

And so so much of the work that I do is looking at how can I be that role model for the kids that I am eventually going to have, instead of waiting for the big game.

49:33

This is my practice, these are my practice rounds, these are my like regular off-season games that I get the chance at before I have those kids.

49:41

And something that I was talking to you about, and we were kind of using the example myself, so that when someone cuts me off in traffic, I don't scream at them, I'm not reactive, I'm not angry about it, because if there was a little kid in my backseat, that's the last thing I would want to be doing.

49:55

But I can approach it from a place of compassion, empathy, understanding and, honestly, not caring as much as I usually would in a reactive state, because I've done the inner work and it really does come down to that for me.

50:17

On why I do the things I do is because I'm so heavily influenced on the people that look up to me, whether that is going to be a kid one day whether it is my clients, whether it is, you know, even our parents, that watch the things that we do.

50:30

It's the people around us. It's how can you be the best embodied version of the shit that you say?

50:35

because there are people watching you something that might offend some people and might upset some listeners and I mean this from a place of love.

50:48

But you can't tell your current kids or your future kids that they could pursue their dreams and do all the things that they want to do for themselves if you're not willing to do that because, otherwise, you're just programming a false sense of a reality and hope for them because you don't know how to actually help them get there and hope for them because you don't know how to actually help them get there and you're allowing them to try to navigate these uncharted waters and it's going to lead to issues, because there's eventually going to come a place in time where they're going to look to you for answers and you're not going to be able to guide them and they're going to go to somebody else because they want that.

51:24

They're going to ask somebody who has done that, whether that's a coach or a mentor or whatever the case is.

51:29

There will come a time and place where they will do that if you're not willing to lead them and that's something that kind of freaks me out, because I never want that to happen I want them to always be able to come to me and look to me for that.

51:41

So it's like you said, if you're trying to think of how you're showing up today and now, and it's like, of course we're not perfect, you know we make mistakes, but we try our best to continue to pick ourselves up and keep moving, and I think that's a big reason why we're in the position that we're in now and we'll only get better through time because of that mindset.

51:59

so if you listen to that and that rubs you the wrong way.

52:02

That's a good thing, but don't just sit with it and do nothing about it.

52:05

I really want to encourage you to actually look into that a bit further and find a way for you to move forward.

52:13

So maybe you could dive into that, I don't know.

52:15

Yeah, so I think it is so funny because we talk about a lot of inner child stuff me and you, because it's a lot of the work that I do but even when we're looking at your current life situation, if you were to look at and maybe we're not even looking at your inner child, maybe we're just looking at your kid, say you have, whether you have a kid or not, maybe you, if this is your future kid and they're in the same life position, what advice would you give them?

52:38

What would you want to see from them? And I can think about this when you know, before we got together, when it came down to like anything with like guys is, I would constantly think about what would I tell my daughter?

52:55

Because you damn well know you'd be sitting there. You know your worth, you know what you deserve, like never settle for less, but then somehow, when it's you, you lose that.

52:59

You, you lose sight of that. So I think, with all of your goals, it's so important to kind of have that like retrospect, of like wait.

53:06

If I was telling someone that I deeply loved this life situation that was theirs at the time, just put that perspective what advice would you give them?

53:14

And most of the time it's going to be leave the shitty job, leave the shitty boyfriend.

53:18

Do the things that scare you follow your dreams, you never know how it's going to work out, because there's going to be a time at the end of the day or end of your life where you're going to start thinking about why did I not just do it?

53:27

Why did I not just go for it?

53:29

A really great question to ask yourself. If you wouldn't trade places with them, then why take advice from them?

53:40

I wouldn't take financial advice from a homeless person.

53:43

And that's not me throwing shade.

53:45

That's just facts.

53:46

No, just say it with your fucking chest. Of course you wouldn't.

53:49

Why.

53:51

Why not?

53:53

Because they haven't demonstrated that they're in the place that I want to be in.

53:56

Okay, so then, why the fuck do we listen to friends and family and coworkers that are telling you all these things of what you should and shouldn't do, if they don't have the life, the body, the things that you want for yourself?

54:09

okay, but wait, because I'm going to take this a little deeper, because I'm going to be so fucking for real for you guys.

54:13

I love the self-development industry. There's a lot of great people and I'm never going to come at saying I'm knocking anyone, but I start to look at some things that, like andy frisella says baders, julian, and people automatically pedestal them because they're rich and have money, etc.

54:28

But if somebody came up to me and told me work hard, like rise and grind, like you don't need weekends, like Hermosi the other day posts and says imposter syndrome, you have imposter syndrome because you're just not good enough yet.

54:42

And I think that it's so important for us to start to learn the art of discernment because it's not always going to be.

54:48

Oh, the parents, oh, you know, my friend, that parties every weekend.

54:51

Whatever, they don't get it it's like there are some people, even in your industry, that you look up to blindly because you don't have a good example of what that's supposed to look like.

55:01

I think that learning how to discern between who actually has the life that you want is going to be so important.

55:07

There's girls that come, come to me and they're like I just want a slow life with chickens and the love of my life.

55:11

And then they're posting that they're watching Major Scully and I'm like do you think that he lives a slow life with chickens and the love of his life?

55:17

I'm just saying and don't follow someone with a hustle mentality if you're wanting this slow, easy, breezy life.

55:25

And that's a big reason why I started doing the work that I do, because I started to look at a lot of the people in the space that I looked up to and I was like I don't fucking want a Ferrari, I don't want to work 14 hour days, I don't want all this money in this huge business.

55:39

If that's what it brings me to like, that's not fulfilling to me.

55:42

Fulfillment to me is like truly living God's purpose for my life and being able to help girls have a life.

55:48

That feels fucking good, and a lot of that comes from within, and it also comes from building a business that gives you freedom.

55:54

How many of us built businesses to escape our nine to five?

55:57

And here we are, working literally eight to fucking 12 at night.

56:01

Like what?

56:03

Something that has really helped me evolve as a coach, which I think will be really valuable for you guys, is presenting.

56:09

This is how I coach my clients. I present possible solutions and opportunities and questions for them to ask themselves so they can lead themselves to their own conclusion.

56:18

Because if I constantly am just pointing the finger and telling people what to do, you rob them of the opportunity to figure out how to proactively think and how to become an efficient problem solver.

56:30

Over time you know, like if you try to think about like training a dog, you know like you teach them how to go to the bathroom so they actually are able to do that on their own.

56:38

So that way, you know you don't have to constantly hold their hand their whole life and you have to like.

56:42

Just something that really irks me is like the, the fucking pads in the house where the dog shits.

56:50

That's usually only for like baby dogs well, I don't know.

56:54

I've seen some grown dogs, that shit in the house on like a pad.

56:56

Who whose?

56:58

house. Are you at?

56:59

I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna name names, okay, but that shit's fucking weird.

57:02

Yeah, that's not normal, right? Okay? And that is the point that I want to make here.

57:05

If you want to let your grown-ass dog shit in the house, that's not normal Right.

57:07

Okay, and that is the point that I want to make here If you want to let your grown-ass dog shit in the house and that's okay.

57:13

You're accepting parts of that in your life, Like how is that something that we're okay with.

57:21

It isn't. I just want you to know socially, like that's not Okay.

57:24

Well, I've seen some shit man. Yeah, apparently I'm not going to name names, but there's some weird motherfuckers out there.

57:30

You know some of you guys are letting this fucking dog shit in your living room every day and you're cool with it.

57:36

Are they in the room with us Right now? No, absolutely not.

57:40

We're going to have a conversation after this.

57:42

I need to know. All right, Well, anyway, you get the point.

57:45

Are we ending it there or are we out of?

57:47

time, I think, all to say to wrap this up, I think it's so important that, at the end of the day, what you are doing, no matter what it is, is coming from a place of your heart that feels good, and not bringing yourself out, not being urgent to the punch, not doing it out of lack and scarcity and fear because number one it could get you in the hospital.

58:07

Number two it doesn't feel good. Number three there's a better way to live your life.

58:12

There is a better way. Don't wait until it's too late to make a change for yourself.

58:19

So what I mean by that is like don't wait until you have the sickness or the illness or the disease.

58:26

Or you hit rock bottom. Yeah, I think that's probably the point that I shouldn't say you don't need to hit rock bottom in order to make a change for yourself.

58:35

You could decide right here, right now, proactively I'm going to draw this line in the sand and I'm no longer willing to tolerate these other things that have been weighing on me for weeks, months or years.

58:47

Yeah, and when you truthfully make that commitment to yourself, that is where things will really start to change for you, and that's how you could essentially get to the things that we're doing now yeah, I think it's honestly more so like don't make a change out of the fact that you hate yourself, that you hate your life, that you know things are horrible and that you're in a place of pain.

59:07

Change because you know you deserve better.

59:09

Change because you unconditionally love yourself and you want more for yourself.

59:13

You want more out of your life. A lot of people wait until they're in this place of pain and that it hurts so bad and they hate parts of themselves or their lives.

59:21

Think about how many relationships, women or men stay stuck in and they just watch it get progressively worse and worse and worse and they wait until it's like the worst possible situation for them to leave.

59:32

Don't wait until that point if you know that there's better for you out there.

59:35

You have to work on yourself, build that self-respect, build that self-trust so that you're able to adopt to situations and kind of get into situations that automatically make you feel better, because that's what life is supposed to be.

59:45

Just f FYI life is supposed to be fun.

59:48

So if you're not having fun with everything you're doing right now, just change it.

59:51

You're allowed to. You don't have to wait until it's horrible.

59:54

Right, I think the last thing I'll say on that is self-improvement doesn't have to be from a place of fuck you energy.

1:00:02

You know, like you could have the hoodie on and, like you know, be in my what is it?

1:00:11

The the fuck you era.

1:00:12

I thought there was like a hot girl or whatever it was. Oh, villain era.

1:00:14

Oh yeah, I'm in my villain era I got my hoodie on, I'm in the gym, I'm biting my demons and I'm just like you're full of building a body, only he can touch yeah, it's like all that shit could just like take a seat, you know, because like you're not really fooling anybody.

1:00:27

The reason I say that is because I I once have been there myself and it's just like not really a fun place to be, thinking that the world is against you and, like you know, you got something to prove like I understand having a chip on your shoulder, but to what degree?

1:00:40

where you're like getting angry. You know, holding the door for somebody it's like it's not the vibe it's just not and I've been there and I spent time there and I thought it was serving me.

1:00:48

Maybe for you know, that season of life it did make sense.

1:00:51

But you know, I just encourage anybody listening to this if, like you're in a similar position where you could resonate with that in any way.

1:00:57

Just trying to see things maybe from a different light, you don't know could be something that could serve you a lot better in a more realistic and sustainable place.

1:01:06

Thank you for that.

1:01:08

Is that good?