0:00

Welcome back you guys to the Butterfly Season podcast

0:02

. I am on today with a dear friend of mine , the very

0:04

first male guest we have ever , ever

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, ever had and we get into

0:09

so much Spiritual dictionaries

0:11

unintended consequences of becoming

0:15

the person you've always been meant to be . And how do

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you even become the person that you've always been meant to

0:19

be ? What does it look like to be present in your

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body ? What does it look like to stand

0:23

on your no , like we go through a ton

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? I know you're going to love this episode as much as I

0:27

loved it too , and

0:45

be sure to listen to the very end because I feel

0:47

like we drop in .

0:47

Welcome to the Butterfly Season podcast .

0:49

Yeah , yeah , I'm super excited to be here . Thank you for

0:51

having me . I'm laughing because this is a more formal

0:54

vibe than we've ever had .

0:56

Definitely is .

0:56

So for context , for listeners , for watchers

0:59

Jamil is the husband

1:01

of one of my best friends . We've known each

1:03

other since college , before we were like

1:05

our true selves . You know

1:07

what I mean Very much figuring life out

1:10

, and there's been a lot of versions

1:12

of us before

1:14

this point , and that's kind of what I want to get into today

1:16

.

1:17

Yeah , it's been crazy . Obviously

1:19

, like you said , known each other since college and

1:22

probably 10 years

1:24

later we're out of college and

1:27

into new things and new phases . So

1:29

I'm excited to be here . I'm

1:32

a little nervous , but I'm gonna just put that

1:34

out there right now , but I'm happy to be

1:36

here and I'm happy to be a part of it .

1:37

Yeah , I'm glad that you put that out there , I feel like when

1:39

you can address whatever it is and you just kind of

1:41

like diffuse the situation

1:44

. So I'm going to start

1:46

with . You know your transformation

1:48

. I mentioned that I've known you since college

1:51

. I've known Janae since college and we've become

1:53

like a bajillion different people since then

1:55

and I feel like we're in a season

1:57

where we're coming home to ourselves

1:59

, or who we've always been meant to be , and

2:09

I think that people could see you know your career , the accolades and all of the

2:12

things that you've got to this point , but I feel like that's just a fraction of who you are . What I've

2:14

seen on the growth standpoint personal growth , irrespective of everything you've ever

2:16

done is that you are

2:18

so sure , so

2:21

confident in your no , in

2:24

many ways that I even aspire to

2:26

be and have . But there was a

2:29

lot had to have happened for you to be able to

2:31

be that yeah , for sure and

2:34

talk to me about what

2:36

is . What was the thing that sparked change

2:38

? Like why were you like I need to

2:41

change , I need to be the best version

2:43

of me ? Like what ? What is that ? What was that

2:45

? What resistance was coming up at that time

2:47

?

2:47

Yeah , I don't think there was like one

2:51

point in time that really sparked it . I

2:53

think I look at it as , over time

2:55

, like even in my

2:57

career , every offseason I constantly

3:00

wanted to go back to the drawing board and

3:02

grow as a player , wanted

3:07

to go back to the drawing board and grow as a player . So , post-career , when I kind of got

3:09

into the mode of like what am I doing to better myself , I applied

3:11

that same thing . You know , so how

3:15

can I grow as a person

3:17

, as a man , father , husband , brother

3:19

, son , whatever the case may be , and that looks different

3:21

in every situation . But

3:23

I think that would be the

3:26

biggest thing . Like , I'm

3:28

still not okay calling it a transformation

3:31

for me , because I think

3:33

it's a decision I have to make every day . You

3:35

know , like this is

3:37

when your feet hit the ground in the morning , who

3:41

are you going to be Like ? Are you going

3:43

to continue to grow ? Who

3:46

are you going to be Like ? Are you going to continue to grow , continue to push forward and

3:48

do the things that allow you to reach your highest self

3:51

, or are you going to get

3:53

lazy with that process

3:55

? And so I've always been

3:57

super goal driven and

4:00

self-motivated and

4:02

I think it just looks different for me now .

4:05

So talk to me about applying

4:08

those same goals and principles to your

4:10

personal life . I feel like , when it comes

4:12

to career , when it comes to how

4:14

you make money , that's an easy thing to do because

4:16

there's a means to an end . How can

4:19

I be better so that I'm on this team , so I make

4:21

this money and I can do X , y and Z

4:23

right ? I'm on this

4:25

team so I make this money and I can do X , y and Z right . But then , when it comes to your personal

4:27

development , those two things potentially might not need

4:29

to go hand in hand . It could only

4:31

be applied to work and

4:33

then you get your means to an end . When

4:36

you first applied it to yourself , what

4:38

was the thing when you're like , okay , how can I be better

4:40

? Well , what was the thing that you needed to be better

4:42

at ?

4:43

yeah , I think . Uh , it's

4:45

hard for me to pinpoint the certain

4:47

thing . I think what I was

4:49

looking for was how

4:53

I can measure

4:55

success outside of

4:58

the game and what were those measurables

5:00

? that's . That's the hard thing . It's

5:03

so much harder to measure your success

5:05

in your personal life . I

5:07

think as you

5:09

go through it and you start to learn how to

5:11

set boundaries and your

5:13

triggers and things like that

5:15

and you get

5:17

in these situations again , that's

5:20

when you realize , oh , I've grown

5:22

. That's a checkbox on the success

5:25

side of things . So it looks so

5:27

different for me these days as far as how

5:29

I can measure it . But I do

5:32

have when I reflect on certain things

5:34

that have happened . I do have those moments

5:36

where I'm happy about

5:38

how far I've come .

5:40

That's so interesting how your

5:43

brain works . Mine works . I have

5:45

an issue . I got to fix the issue and then get

5:47

to the thing . But your brain is like how can

5:49

I be better ? Oh , a way to be better is to set

5:51

boundaries . When do boundaries need to be set

5:54

? When I set them here and then watching the

5:56

outcomes play out ? Because I'm like well , what did you need

5:58

to be better at ? Was it like I don't know , not

6:02

like negative self-talk ? Was Like I don't know , not like

6:04

negative self-talk ? Was it like lazy ? I mean , who knows

6:06

what it is , but you're saying I approach it from a

6:08

place of just being a complete

6:10

, whole person generally looks like one

6:12

of the things Boundaries .

6:13

Yeah , for sure . I think that's like the

6:15

football in me , the offense alignment in me , like

6:18

you go back you watch game film

6:20

and you watch every

6:22

play what could I have done better in

6:25

this play ? And then the following week you have

6:27

an opportunity to work

6:29

on those things during practice . So

6:32

I have to take what

6:34

I'm good at from a aspect

6:36

of who I am from a player point

6:39

of view and apply that into my personal

6:41

life , and I think that

6:43

serves me well when I'm dealing

6:45

with these type of situations .

6:47

Yeah , so could we talk about boundaries

6:49

.

6:50

Yeah .

6:51

What types of boundaries were once

6:54

hard for you to make , but are now much

6:56

easier for you to make ?

6:58

Yeah , I just think dealing with people

7:00

in general .

7:00

Honestly

7:04

. Some days I'm like I wish I could be Jamil

7:06

, because sometimes it's really difficult for me

7:08

to put a boundary like that .

7:10

No , it is . Boundaries are tough . Boundaries

7:13

are tough to set , and I heard a

7:15

quote a couple of weeks ago I

7:18

think it was Trent Shelton , that said boundaries

7:21

aren't walls

7:24

, they're bridges , and

7:26

it kind of gets you to where

7:29

you want to go , and that

7:32

put things in perspective for me . Over

7:34

the course of the last few

7:36

years I've had to set boundaries with friends

7:39

, family , whoever the case

7:41

may be , and it's always

7:43

hard , you you know because they're

7:46

your boundaries like , and

7:48

people have a hard time respecting the

7:50

things that you don't want to

7:52

happen or that you don't feel comfortable with

7:54

.

7:54

So especially if you've allowed it to happen for so

7:56

long it's like you know you've been giving them

7:58

gold , all gold , gold , gold the moment

8:01

you give them silver . They're like what ?

8:02

yeah , they have a hard time digesting that

8:04

. But the thing that gives

8:07

me a little , I guess , peace

8:09

with it is what truly

8:11

makes me feel comfortable . You know

8:13

, and I've

8:15

gone , I'm long past the days

8:17

where I give

8:20

up my comfortableness to

8:22

, you know , appease

8:25

someone else , like for me

8:27

, obviously that comes with certain situations

8:29

, like I'm not just you know , but

8:31

what makes me happy

8:33

, what makes me comfortable , what makes me feel

8:36

good in situations

8:38

? That is how I base everything

8:40

these days .

8:43

That's such an act of self-love . I did

8:45

these like quotes today to post on Butterfly

8:47

Season and I was talking about self-love because I've been

8:49

on my own self-love journey and

8:52

it started with such a different

8:54

way that you start right , mine is like , okay

8:56

, I'm feeling resistance in this thing . How

8:58

do I change it ? Change it , change it

9:00

, and

9:03

you know you start to realize , oh well , maybe it's it's codependency , and then from codependency it's

9:05

like self-worth , and then from self-worth it's self-love . Then it's like well

9:07

, how do you love yourself ? It's like you keep

9:09

going like down this rabbit hole , and

9:12

there's so many ways to have self-love and

9:14

one of them is not , you

9:16

know , doing something to make someone

9:18

else feel comfortable and you're not feeling , and you're not feeling

9:20

, and you're feeling uncomfortable .

9:22

That is actually abandonment

9:24

.

9:24

That's not self-love , and

9:26

so it's so cool to hear you talk about your

9:29

self-love . Journey really is like you know

9:31

. I'm just trying to be better . All roads

9:33

lead back to this like act

9:35

of radical self-love .

9:36

Yeah , for sure , self-love is tricky because

9:39

, like you said , it's hard to figure

9:41

out . How do you love yourself

9:43

better ?

9:44

Because you would never identify like . No

9:46

one would ever be like . I don't love myself right

9:49

Like if you're like oh , you need to work on your

9:51

self-love and self-worth . You're like I'm

9:53

fine .

9:54

Yeah , I think a big piece of the self-love

9:56

is and

9:59

I've spoken about this a little bit is the inner critic . Like

10:01

what are you telling yourself ? I

10:06

know , like , what are you telling yourself ? I know , like , for me , my inner critic

10:08

is a beast , like in a bad way , you know . Like I

10:10

have to . I've done the

10:13

affirmations , the journaling . I've

10:16

always been super critical of myself , like I

10:19

think that's a player in me , you know . But

10:21

the inner critic

10:23

is something that you have to definitely

10:25

get a control of in order to

10:27

have self-love , in my opinion , and

10:30

that looks different for everyone depending

10:32

on your life experiences , you know . So

10:35

I would say that's

10:37

the biggest difference for me is

10:39

being able to control my inner critic .

10:41

Do you feel like your inner critic got

10:44

you success initially ?

10:47

I think , yes , but not in

10:49

a healthy way , like I was driven

10:51

by almost

10:53

fear of failure or you

10:56

know , telling myself oh , they

10:58

don't think you can do this , so go

11:01

show them you can do this . That works

11:03

in athletics . It's very tangible

11:05

, like you can see that you did something

11:08

right on tape , or in

11:10

the weight room or in training Personal

11:13

life . No one's walking around filming

11:15

you unless you get down that way , but

11:18

it's just way different . It looks different

11:21

, you know . So I had to learn

11:23

how to kind of flip

11:25

the script with my inner critic , and that

11:28

was the hard . That was a hard thing . Like I'm journaling

11:31

the same things over

11:33

and over five times a day .

11:35

You know the same bad things , the same good things uh

11:37

, both .

11:38

Actually , like you know , I

11:40

would say for someone that's really dealing

11:42

with the inner critic , write

11:45

down my therapist had me do this but write down

11:47

on one side of sheet of paper what

11:49

your inner critic is telling you in

11:51

a negative sense , and on the flip

11:53

side , write the positives about

11:56

that , the things that you want to believe

11:58

about yourself . I think that's important . I've done

12:00

that exercise multiple times

12:02

, so , and that's , that's the thing

12:05

.

12:06

This is a process , so

12:09

what's the purpose of writing that ? What's

12:12

changed within you to now write the

12:15

opposite ?

12:17

I think , I don't know . I think everyone

12:19

learns a different way . Everyone's mind

12:21

works different . For

12:24

me , I like writing things down and

12:26

putting pen to paper

12:28

, and that helps , does

12:31

something in my mind , you know , to

12:33

help create something new

12:36

. So , you know , it might look different for someone

12:38

else . They may want to speak those words out loud

12:40

or , you know , whatever the case may be

12:42

, say them quietly to themselves . But

12:44

for me it was definitely . You

12:47

know , writing these things down and reading

12:49

it , spending time with it , that's the biggest

12:51

thing . You spend time with the things that you're writing down

12:54

in order to actually see

12:56

how it makes you feel .

12:57

Yeah , I think that's really beautiful because I

12:59

feel like from feelings you

13:01

can map down to you go from your feelings

13:03

and then it'll kind of show you like , okay , well , I

13:06

have this . This is what I'm fearful of

13:08

, based on this feeling , and the fear can take me to

13:10

an unmet need that I had in childhood

13:12

and how I keep operating on that same

13:14

pattern , um , which

13:17

is why I think journaling is a beautiful tool and

13:19

even in the exercise that you're doing is beautiful , because

13:21

sometimes we need proof and

13:23

whenever my inner critic will

13:25

only look for proof to affirm my inner critic

13:28

. So if I write something that's opposite

13:30

of what my inner critic is saying , I can give

13:32

myself an opportunity to look for proof of

13:34

the other thing , so that it's not

13:36

this , the inner critic just kind of like taking

13:39

precedence yeah you . you

13:41

made a comment . You said people , everyone

13:44

kind of learns and does things differently . The other day

13:46

, what's really dope , I think , about our

13:48

relationship with you know , together

13:50

with our partners and collective like as a group

13:52

. We do this like manifestation

13:54

dinner , where we get

13:57

vulnerable , we say what we're working on and we say

13:59

, like you know , things that we want to change , and you

14:01

shared this really beautiful story about how

14:03

you would go , like this in games .

14:05

Yeah .

14:05

Can you tell me about that ?

14:06

Yeah , like I said , I

14:12

don't know if it was , it was something . Yeah , it was like it was this basically

14:14

on my helmet and that was like there is a split second for me

14:16

in games or practices

14:18

, whatever the case may be , where I

14:20

had negative thoughts creep into my mind

14:23

, whether it's you're

14:25

going to lose this rep or you're going to take the wrong

14:27

step , something like that . So

14:30

I just kind of developed

14:33

a way for me to

14:35

feel like I'm pulling

14:37

that thing out of my mind . You

14:39

know , it wasn't enough for me to

14:42

try to tell myself

14:44

that that's not going to happen . I

14:46

just needed something to symbolize that

14:48

you're getting rid of that , you

14:51

know , and I think I

14:54

think it works . In my opinion , it worked for

14:56

me . So I feel like

14:58

sometimes we physically have to

15:00

do things whether you

15:02

got to scream or yell , whatever the case

15:04

may be like . Do things that help

15:08

your body feel at ease

15:10

or help your mind feel comfortable

15:12

. So that was something that I used

15:14

to do , that it just helped me

15:16

come back , to

15:19

come back down to earth and kind

15:21

of keep me level headed .

15:23

That's so dope . I want to talk to you about journaling

15:25

, because I know you journal a lot .

15:26

I do journal a lot .

15:27

Have you always journaled a lot ?

15:29

I have not . No , I would

15:31

say journaling probably past

15:34

two years , and

15:39

it's definitely helpful . I was

15:41

somebody that I

15:43

guess you know . Everyone

15:46

starts journaling at different times in their lives

15:48

, based on what they're trying to

15:50

accomplish . When I started

15:52

, just

15:54

wanting to get my thoughts out in

15:57

a healthy way , that's when I started

15:59

journaling and it's

16:02

definitely helped me . I find myself

16:04

journaling

16:06

about whatever you

16:09

know , whether having a good day , bad

16:11

day , whether I want

16:13

to change the way that

16:15

my day is going . Those are the

16:18

times that I'll spend time journaling

16:20

and I think , like I said , everyone

16:22

just has different processes in

16:24

how they learn

16:26

and for me , I learned a

16:28

lot about myself when I started journaling , because

16:30

I'm obviously writing down my thoughts

16:33

and I think if you look

16:35

at my journaling from

16:37

two years ago , it looks completely

16:39

different from now

16:41

.

16:42

In terms of how you talk to yourself via the

16:44

journal .

16:44

In terms of how I talk to myself , in terms of

16:47

the things that I am , you

16:49

know , putting on paper . I think when

16:52

I first started , it was more so about

16:54

just focusing

16:56

on gratitude , like that was my , that

16:59

was my biggest thing , like , obviously , you

17:01

know , you do research on how you can kind of get

17:04

to a better place mentally and

17:06

spiritually , emotionally , all those

17:08

things , and gratitude

17:10

for me was the thing that struck

17:13

me the most . So I spent a

17:15

lot of time focusing on what I was grateful for

17:17

in the first part of

17:19

my journaling and now it's like

17:21

what I'm trying to accomplish , or

17:24

what I am accomplishing , how

17:26

I feel that day , and

17:29

just things like that , like things to keep me present

17:31

. I think that's the , that's the biggest

17:34

thing , what keeps me present , you know

17:36

, and journaling is one of them .

17:38

I don't think people understand the importance

17:40

of being present . I just had a guest on

17:42

the podcast talking about like you got to be in your body

17:44

and you got to like drop in and I'm like those

17:47

words . I feel like we can understand now because

17:49

there's been work leading up to yeah

17:52

and I feel like before I was

17:54

, you know , like on

17:57

my like self-love shit , I didn't know

18:00

that I was ever not

18:02

present .

18:02

Yeah .

18:04

Do you have ?

18:06

a time I would like to think I'm very present

18:08

.

18:08

You are very present .

18:09

Yeah , I would like to think that I'm

18:12

very self-aware . I'm

18:16

always aware of my surroundings and people

18:18

that I'm around and I'm just , I'm just , I'm

18:21

focused on being present .

18:24

I'm just , I'm just . I'm focused on

18:26

being present .

18:30

Was that always ? Or post journaling , I

18:36

would say , to an extent I feel like I've always

18:38

had that trait , but it's gotten stronger since

18:41

journaling . Um , being able to kind of reset every day . Obviously

18:43

I start my morning out with breath work , like

18:46

, if that is , you know , some people have their morning

18:49

coffee . Like I am morning breath

18:51

work . That's my biggest

18:53

practice

18:56

that keeps me present . So

18:59

I've done a lot of breath work and I think

19:01

that helps tremendously to

19:03

just kind of , like

19:06

I said , reset your day , restart

19:08

your day in a positive way , and

19:10

that helps a lot .

19:12

There's talk online about how

19:14

and it's interesting because I have , you know , primary

19:18

my audience is female there's a lot of talk

19:20

online , at least like in our ethos

19:23

small corner of the internet , that you

19:25

know , breath work and

19:27

cold plunge and things like that are maybe

19:29

more masculine approaches to being

19:32

present , but also that some people

19:34

are just doing it to check a box and

19:36

they're not actually present in that

19:38

practice . They're doing

19:40

it , you know .

19:42

Just because it's a trend .

19:43

Because it's a trend , or you think that

19:46

if I do this thing , just the action , only

19:48

that I will get whatever . It's like maybe going

19:50

to hot yoga You're getting a workout

19:52

in , but like if you can focus on

19:54

your breath and drop in . At the times you can drop in

19:56

. For me , I literally feel like I have a divine

19:58

source to God . So , much drops

20:00

in for me and I'm like yeah .

20:02

So much drops in for me and I'm like yeah , yeah , right .

20:04

Like this is what I've been working on for two weeks and

20:06

I finally got the clarity around it .

20:08

You know what I mean .

20:09

So do you feel like you

20:11

can speak to somebody who might be

20:13

listening , who does those things

20:15

but isn't aware that they're present ? Like

20:17

, how do you know that you're present

20:19

?

20:21

That's a good question , I think , as

20:25

far as knowing if you're present .

20:28

Or how do you know when you're present versus when you're

20:30

not ?

20:31

I Like whoever

20:33

you had on your podcast that said drop

20:35

into your body . Like I think a

20:37

lot of people hear that , but

20:40

they don't , they're not listening to that

20:42

. Like , listen to that

20:45

advice and

20:47

just try it . You know

20:49

, like , try actually , whatever

20:52

it looks like for you , whether that's laying down

20:54

and not

20:56

doing anything for 10 minutes , but focusing

20:59

on what your mind is telling

21:01

you . Like that

21:03

is how you begin to build the

21:05

awareness around presence , for being

21:07

present . For me , in my opinion

21:10

, I think when

21:12

you're doing these things such as cold tubbing

21:14

, when

21:19

you're doing these things such as cold tubbing , journaling

21:21

, like your focus needs to be on that actual thing . If you're cold tubbing for two minutes

21:24

and 30 seconds , whatever the case may be

21:26

like be aware of

21:29

that time that you're spending

21:31

in the cold tub for two minutes

21:33

and 30 seconds , and try to

21:35

listen to your body . What is your ? What parts

21:37

are going numb ? What ? What ? What's

21:39

your breathing ? Like ? Is my breathing fast ? Oh

21:41

, I need to slow my breathing down . Like , in

21:44

my opinion , when you start to like be

21:46

able to separate those things and actually

21:49

tune into it , that's when you start to build

21:51

your presence .

21:52

Totally .

21:52

Yeah .

21:53

Um , I'm glad that you were able to break it down like

21:55

that . I had a moment this morning at

21:57

like 10 extra minutes , and I was like you know what

21:59

? I'm not going to scroll my phone , I'm just going to just like be

22:01

present for a second and like

22:05

a song's playing in my head and then I'm

22:07

like looking at the like colors behind my eyelids

22:09

and then I'm like , well , I'm not breathing

22:11

. Let me try to breathe deeper .

22:13

Like all of these things start to just chaos

22:15

but that's fine , though I think everyone

22:17

thinks that when you're

22:19

trying to , I

22:23

guess , meditate or

22:25

, you know , breathe

22:27

, that nothing's going to come to your mind , like

22:30

for me , I think the most satisfying

22:32

part of being able

22:34

to slow my mind down was when

22:36

I was doing a lot of . I still meditate

22:39

daily , but when I really first

22:41

started , there was a point in

22:43

time where I noticed things

22:46

come into my mind , you know . But

22:48

I'm also noticing that I'm able

22:50

to get rid of those things . Like , and

22:53

that's the satisfying part when you're able

22:55

to go 10 minutes , 20

22:57

minutes straight , and it's just

22:59

I'm truly focused

23:02

on if you're listening

23:04

to a meditation , I'm truly focused

23:06

on that audio

23:08

of that meditation and

23:12

it looks different for everyone . Like

23:14

you know , people can meditate for

23:16

two minutes and it'd be successful for them . Like

23:22

do what helps you and then grow from there . I think so many people get discouraged

23:25

of like I tried to meditate for five

23:27

minutes but so many things

23:29

came to my mind . But the action that you're putting

23:31

towards it is actually helpful , in

23:33

my opinion .

23:34

No , I think you're absolutely right , is actually helpful in my opinion

23:36

. No , I think you're absolutely right Because then , at the before the 10

23:38

minute mark , I've been working on like

23:40

feeling safe , feeling safe in my body , safe

23:42

in my relationship , safe in my marriage , not

23:45

because the people that I'm around make me feel unsafe

23:47

, but that because I'm feeling

23:50

unsafe about myself , that

23:52

becomes a projection in my relationships . And

23:55

so I just meditated , with

23:57

no agenda , chaos leading up like a . Chris

23:59

Brown song like and I'm like Aisha

24:02

, just try to breathe , focus on your breath . And

24:05

um , then I

24:07

like , right , as I was going to end , before my alarm

24:09

went off , it was like you're

24:11

feeling safe and I was like , oh

24:13

shit , I am feeling safe these days . What

24:15

has changed around my safety ? And then I started journaling about it and I was like , oh shit , I am feeling safe these days . What has changed around my safety ? And then

24:17

I started journaling about it and I'm like , fuck yeah

24:19

that's changed . But like I wouldn't have

24:22

been able to one celebrate myself , have that awareness

24:24

, if I didn't just take the 10 minutes to

24:26

do that . Knowing you know

24:28

, chaos ensues .

24:29

For sure .

24:31

So I want to talk a little bit

24:33

about your time

24:36

with the journal , the Butterfly Season Journal . Was

24:40

there any new awareness or affirmed

24:43

awareness around the work that

24:45

you did with that ?

24:46

I think obviously it's centered

24:48

around the inner child work and

24:51

that , to me

24:53

, is very helpful . That , to

24:55

me , is very helpful . I

25:05

think that a lot of us go through life and we're not really aware of our triggers and

25:07

the things that make us feel a certain way . For me , like when I'm triggered by something

25:09

. My body gets hot or , you know , my ears get hot , Like

25:13

I think people need to tune into that , Like what

25:15

is your body telling you about certain situations

25:18

that you're in ? And just listen to your

25:20

body . That's a trigger for you , you know .

25:22

Yeah .

25:22

I don't know if you have anything like that .

25:24

I do . I didn't want to cut you off but

25:27

, I , do want to . I'm going to put

25:29

it back on you . Um , you talked about

25:31

your body getting hot .

25:32

Yeah .

25:33

Specific areas or the whole

25:35

head to toe .

25:37

Definitely head ears

25:40

like

25:42

from the neck up for me

25:45

.

25:45

Yeah .

25:45

And it's . You know , at first I

25:47

didn't really recognize and I think this

25:49

goes back to the whole point about the book

25:52

because I've done inner child work I

25:54

didn't really recognize , when I'm in these situations

25:56

, that my body

25:59

was literally telling me you

26:01

are uncomfortable or this is triggering

26:03

for you . And as

26:06

I've become more present and

26:08

started doing a lot of the work , I'm

26:10

just listening to my body and if I

26:13

feel that I'm like , oh , that's a trigger

26:15

, or that's something that you need to

26:17

change , or you're not comfortable in

26:19

this situation . So I

26:21

think , like I said , ties

26:23

all back into the book about being

26:26

aware of the things

26:28

that you've carried from your childhood

26:31

up until now that

26:33

you may not have known were

26:35

triggers for you , but they definitely are

26:37

. If

26:40

you tune in , you have to be present in order to know what your triggers are

26:42

, or else you just walking around mad all day , right right

26:44

Like oh I'm pissed about this situation

26:46

, Like you don't know why you're pissed

26:48

, but it's because of this

26:50

thing that happened earlier in the day that you

26:53

haven't addressed yet .

26:54

Right , and you might feel like it's

26:57

someone else's fault as to why I'm pissed

26:59

, which there's a dynamic of . That

27:02

is true , right , but for you to change

27:04

your life . Only you and your own agency

27:06

and yourself can change that thing , whether that

27:08

be a boundary or removing

27:11

yourself from those situations so that you're

27:13

not angry . But the reason why

27:15

I got so lit up when you were talking about your

27:17

body getting hot is because you

27:19

told me to , and

27:22

I want you to like go deep

27:24

on this , but I'm just going to tell you what it did for me

27:26

. You said , yeah , you know , I've been doing this

27:28

spiritual dictionary and I'm like what is a

27:30

spiritual dictionary ? You're like , yeah , like when things

27:32

come up or if I see signs , or if I see . And yeah

27:34

, like when things come up or if I see signs , or if I see , and I don't know if the body

27:37

heat was one of them , but I just like make note of it . And I was like I'm

27:39

going to start doing that because I feel like I'm being spoken

27:41

to in certain instances and

27:44

I feel like you know God

27:46

speaks to us in whatever way

27:48

you receive information . My

27:50

husband like I

27:52

truly feel like God be talking to him in movies and

27:55

TV shows . He's like oh my god

27:57

, I feel like and I'm like you got that out of that

27:59

, like what do you mean ? But for me

28:01

it's like you know , I have signs or like repeated

28:03

signs or different synchronicities or like whatever

28:06

, and so I've been doing a spiritual dictionary

28:08

and it's crazy right

28:11

so sun dogs , which

28:13

are like a rainbow around the sun

28:15

with two lights on the side . Apparently

28:18

they're very rare . I've

28:20

been seeing them in succession

28:22

and every time I see them now I

28:24

write down what happened so that over time

28:26

, the pattern can tell me what it means . It's

28:29

like you're about to go through some fucked

28:31

up transformation , but it will be better on the other side . That's

28:33

what a sun dog means for me . But over time

28:35

that I was doing the spiritual dictionary , I

28:38

noticed that when someone is talking , I

28:41

don't know , this is like a loose interpretation , because the

28:43

dictionary is like you have to fill in the definition and it takes

28:45

time to do that . For sure and when

28:47

someone's talking , when

28:50

I feel like they're speaking truth , the back

28:53

, my behind my ribs

28:55

gets the chills only back

28:57

there . I think that's what that means . Whatever

29:00

truth it is , I'm like they must be saying

29:02

something real , because I'm feeling lit

29:04

up on my back now . So

29:07

I was on a walk with someone and they were talking and I'm like that's

29:09

it . And they're like well , what made you say that ? I'm like well , my back

29:11

, so I have some chills on my back right now

29:14

. So talk to me about a spiritual dictionary

29:16

. This is literally like the most slept

29:18

on thing of all time .

29:19

Yeah , I think you know . There's

29:22

obviously signs

29:24

that we get and

29:27

that looks different for everyone . But when

29:29

you constantly like for me and

29:31

I don't want to give away what's in my dictionary

29:33

, wait , is that a bad thing ? I just told

29:36

everybody what's in my dictionary

29:38

. I just you know , for me I

29:41

think it's something that and

29:43

it's okay that you did

29:45

that , but for me I

29:48

am still in the process of

29:51

figuring everything out

29:53

. But the things that I hear constantly

29:55

or see constantly when I'm asking

29:58

for signs

30:00

or guidance or signals , those

30:03

things to me are

30:05

very I mean , somebody

30:07

could exploit them if they're easily manufacturable

30:10

things .

30:10

But I mean , how can you create a sun dog ? That's

30:13

a little bit harder or chills on the back , yeah chills

30:15

.

30:16

I think mine . I haven't had any

30:18

bodily things

30:21

that .

30:22

No , you do .

30:23

Well , those are triggers for me , though .

30:25

Okay , okay .

30:25

I feel like a spiritual dictionary is

30:28

confirmation . Okay , so

30:30

I separate the two .

30:32

Okay .

30:33

One is like , okay , you need to fix

30:35

this . And one is

30:37

you're in alignment

30:39

in my opinion .

30:41

So for a definition , since we're not going to

30:43

expose the secrets of Jamil's

30:45

spiritual dictionary

30:47

, which is fair . I very much

30:49

respect that , but how

30:52

would someone go about creating their own

30:55

spiritual dictionary ?

30:57

It comes back to being present . You

31:00

know , I think when people are

31:03

present , they can notice the things that

31:05

they constantly hear every day . Or

31:08

you see this bird

31:10

fly by you every day . Like

31:12

, if you're not present , you just think

31:15

, oh , it's a bird flying by me when I just got

31:17

done praying . You know , I don't

31:19

really know what that means , but

31:21

I think you just have to be present and you

31:23

have to really tune into the things

31:25

that are showing

31:28

up for you consistently . That's

31:31

how I see it and I know it's . You

31:34

know , some people may be like ah , you know there's

31:36

birds flying around every day , not if you see it at the same time's . You know some people may be like you know there's birds flying around every day , not

31:39

if you see it at the same time , or

31:41

you know when you just get done meditating

31:44

or praying or whatever the case may be . So I

31:46

think a spiritual dictionary a

31:49

lot of like a lot of these topics that we're

31:51

talking about , look different for everyone

31:53

and it

31:55

could be a siren different

31:59

for everyone and it could be a siren . You know , it could be a siren every day in the morning that you

32:01

hear , or a dog that's barking every day . Sometimes

32:03

it's good and bad , but you

32:06

got to be able to tune into those things and I think

32:08

that being present

32:11

is the first way to start your dictionary

32:13

.

32:14

Yeah , so I know , I know there

32:16

probably are very many rules around

32:18

spiritual dictionary , but

32:20

what I feel like two things one

32:22

I'm going to speak about like an exploitation of those

32:25

things , and then I want to land on like maybe

32:27

something that people can try for their own spiritual

32:30

dictionary if they don't know where the presence

32:32

of being back in your body is . Now the exploitation

32:35

is , I feel like you , like you know , we see

32:37

sign synchronicities and people will use

32:39

angel numbers as a thing to

32:41

kind of be like oh , I'm on the right path , or what does this angel number

32:43

mean ? I just saw it , this is what's happening . But

32:46

I think where it becomes exploited which

32:48

affirms why you might not share with people all

32:51

that's in your spiritual dictionary , um

32:53

is when people will price

32:55

things out at an angel number price .

32:57

Yeah .

32:58

So just like a catch-all for anyone who has 444

33:01

on their dictionary , list .

33:02

this price point is 444 , it must be

33:04

for you , right Like it's an exploitation , For

33:06

sure .

33:07

When you know that people are taking action

33:10

on these signs

33:12

but I think another one

33:14

could potentially be you

33:18

ask for a sign , a specific

33:20

sign , and when you see it , you can presume

33:24

that that's a thing , and maybe you're asking for that

33:26

every time or that's kind of your guidepost . For one

33:28

thing , I feel like in

33:30

my spiritual dictionary things that are pending to be

33:33

filled out based off signs that I've had because I feel like

33:35

after two or more , it's a pattern . You can kind of like

33:37

deduce what it means Um .

33:39

I look at it a little different .

33:40

Tell me .

33:41

I think it's up to us to catch it , whether

33:44

it's okay , but then so

33:46

, but there are people who are struggling with presence

33:48

you know what I mean , and it's like I

33:51

mean , I guess it really . I

34:01

believe that it

34:03

may happen one time . You know , and

34:05

if you , if you catch it , you catch

34:08

it . If not , it's up to

34:10

you to continue to stay

34:12

on the path .

34:13

Yes , OK so when I said , two or more is a

34:15

pattern the first time I seen a sun dog I

34:17

was like , oh , this is interesting , it might mean

34:19

something . It was on a very like important

34:22

day for me , so

34:26

I just wrote it down as one . And then when I seen it again , I'm like , okay , this is what was happening

34:28

at that time . Let me see if I can find the meaning around

34:30

what this specific thing might mean for

34:32

me . So then I seen it again , I'm like , okay

34:35

, they kind of coincide . I seen it another time and I'm

34:37

like , oh , here's , here's what the meaning is

34:39

based off . These three instances separate

34:42

from what I was saying is you can

34:44

maybe say I want to see a purple flamingo

34:46

today yeah , that's tough it's tough

34:48

, but who knows , maybe you see a cartoon of

34:50

something or

34:51

something or something right yeah , there's absolutely

34:54

ways , in my opinion . I

34:56

don't know what , I don't know how often

34:58

you'll see a purple flamingo . That's a tough ask

35:00

, but you may get it . You know , and there is . This isn't in

35:02

cam spiritual dictionaries .

35:03

it's not outing his dictionary , but he did one time ask for a red . But you may get it . You know this isn't

35:05

in Cam's spiritual dictionary , so it's not out of his dictionary

35:08

, but he did one time ask for a red balloon

35:10

.

35:10

Yeah , and he saw a red balloon it was midnight

35:13

that night .

35:13

He said he wanted to see it that day . This is what he should

35:15

be doing Like I need God , I need you

35:17

to show me this balloon , Like I need it

35:19

. It was like almost midnight

35:21

. We

35:27

were watching some movie and in the background of fucking floating one red balloon yeah , he

35:29

, and he didn't tell me that he asked for a red balloon , it was until we saw he's like , oh my god

35:31

which is why I'm like gotta be talking to him in movies

35:33

and I don't know what they have going on with the movie

35:35

thing .

35:36

But that's alignment , you know

35:38

, like it was supposed to

35:40

happen , he was supposed to see it like . I

35:43

think sometimes we

35:46

have such a hold

35:48

on like show me this sign , show me

35:50

this sign like it's

35:52

gonna happen , if it's supposed to happen , and if it

35:54

doesn't happen , just

35:56

keep going . Like you know

35:58

, I think that's my biggest thing

36:00

, like when I was able to just

36:03

kind of let go of feeling

36:06

the control of everything . I

36:09

was more happy with

36:11

the progress that I was making . You know

36:13

, like , instead of being upset

36:16

that I'm having negative

36:18

self-talk or I'm feeling down

36:21

, depressed , anxious , whatever the case may

36:23

be , depressed

36:30

, anxious , whatever the case may be , like I had to lean into that , but also let go

36:32

of the control of when this is going to show up for me

36:34

in a good way .

36:35

Right .

36:35

Because so many people want control

36:37

of that and as long

36:39

as you're doing the work like , it's gonna

36:41

come .

36:42

What did what did control look like

36:44

for you ? I feel like people will people use

36:48

words like control I'm controlling or

36:50

we'll use it as a badge of honor , not that you're doing

36:52

it in this instance , I just want somebody to hear themselves

36:55

in you . What did control look like

36:57

? Like , I think I'll

36:59

give you some examples of what I didn't know control was . I

37:02

didn't know control . Was people pleasing . That's

37:04

a form of trying to control and keep the peace

37:06

right . You think you're just trying

37:08

to keep it nice , but really you're trying to control everyone

37:11

in the room . If you just release control

37:13

, who cares about what everyone in the room is doing ? Just only

37:15

focus on you , which you're really great at Then

37:18

you're not people pleasing , you're releasing

37:20

control , and whatever is meant to happen will always

37:22

happen , regardless of if you show up in that room and people

37:24

please , or if you don't . What

37:26

did control look like for you ?

37:29

for me , control looked like pressing

37:33

for opportunities

37:36

, like going the

37:40

extra mile to try to

37:42

make something happen you know like

37:44

all goes back to

37:46

athletic days . Like

37:49

I would like to think I'm still athletic but it

37:51

goes back to , like me

37:54

, controlling the things I can

37:56

control in football . like I know

37:58

for a fact , if I lift this weight I'm

38:00

gonna get stronger . I know that if I

38:02

run this amount , my endurance

38:04

is going to be better . Personal

38:06

life it's a little different , you know , like

38:09

I just had so

38:11

much like oh no , I can make this happen

38:13

, that when it didn't

38:16

happen , it kind of it's a humbling

38:18

feeling , but

38:27

in a good way , if you take it that way , which you know , I I grew to be able to understand

38:30

it that way , which you know , I grew to be able to understand it that

38:32

way . So , yeah , I would say , for me it just looked like pressing really hard for progress

38:34

, post-career , like you know , trying to force

38:37

the next opportunity , trying to

38:39

force a relationship that I

38:41

thought may have panned

38:43

out a different way , like and

38:45

really I wasn't , I was ignoring

38:48

the signs that you

38:51

don't need to be pressing for this stuff . You

38:53

need to be working on yourself so that

38:55

when these opportunities do come

38:57

, you are mentally

39:00

, spiritually , emotionally able

39:02

to take advantage of them .

39:04

I want to give you an example of how I've done

39:06

that recently

39:09

, and I think we might've talked about this at dinner , but

39:11

just for the sake of the podcast , because I would

39:13

be curious to know what does a tangible

39:15

example look like that for you ? So for me

39:17

going above and beyond to force

39:19

something to work I had this opportunity where

39:22

this before my book had come out where this person was

39:24

like hey , I read your book , I would love for you to come

39:26

speak with my community , and

39:30

I already had an obligation that week , but I was able to

39:32

get out of it on a specific day , and so my response

39:34

was if I can do this in flow , me thinking

39:37

like oh , I'm in alignment . I'm like , if I can do this in

39:39

flow , like if it's easy for the

39:41

for watch

39:43

me slowly abandon myself , if it's

39:45

easy for me to buy the flight , if

39:47

it's easy for me to cancel my obligation

39:49

, and if my book manufacturer

39:52

can print out all these books like 100%

39:54

, I will go and do it . I

39:56

gave and gave and

39:58

gave and gave , as

40:01

opposed to being like , if

40:03

you could , it would feel really good for me if you

40:05

could buy books for everybody at my flight .

40:07

I'll be there .

40:09

And at the time

40:11

I wouldn't have felt like that was

40:13

pushing to make an opportunity

40:16

work . And what ended up happening was the person

40:18

was like hey , we can't actually fit you in the schedule

40:20

. I had already bought the flight , I had

40:22

already bought all the fucking books I had already done

40:24

everything and I had already bought all the fucking books . I had already done everything and

40:26

guess who was resentful Me and

40:29

mad at that person ? But it wasn't about that person

40:31

. I gave every single thing

40:33

away to make an opportunity happen

40:35

because I thought , well , maybe this will

40:37

, maybe this opportunity will be the thing that

40:40

will . Whatever you insert , whatever good

40:42

outcome . Right whatever

40:46

you insert , whatever good outcome Right . And I think the reason

40:48

why I'm hoping you could give an example is because I feel like you , nobody

40:50

who , if you haven't done the work

40:52

, you might not know that I gave all my agency away in

40:55

that correspondence . You wouldn't know , You'd be like

40:57

oh no , you're just trying to be a go getter and you're

40:59

doing all the right things .

41:01

But like there's a fine line , there's a fine

41:03

line .

41:03

So can you give an example of where you're trying

41:05

to push something and you might not have known

41:07

that you were pushing it smoothly for

41:10

the opportunities to play out in ?

41:11

my favor . But

41:33

because it looked

41:35

like gold to me , I

41:39

was going above and

41:41

beyond to try to meet that opportunity

41:43

or try to please this person , so

41:45

that these things just kind

41:47

of lined up and

41:49

that's not me at all , but post-career

41:52

, I really thought

41:54

that I could just jump into . You

41:56

know , I obviously started the podcast

41:59

and things like that . This is two years post career

42:01

, but at the time , two

42:03

years ago , I really thought that

42:05

I would have a smooth transition

42:07

in figuring out what I wanted to do

42:09

next . And , oh yeah , this

42:11

person called me . They want to give me this opportunity

42:14

. Cool , I'm taking it Like . It

42:17

just didn't work that way , you know . And I

42:19

found myself I'm

42:22

not the guy like I

42:24

don't do too much , you know . And

42:27

when I find myself , when I look back at

42:29

certain moments and I'm like , no , you were

42:31

doing too much , that's

42:33

not , that's not you Like

42:44

, I definitely believe

42:46

that , like , the work that I do personally aligns me for opportunities

42:48

and that is , more so what I should have focused on at that

42:51

time instead of thinking , you

42:53

know , you see a lot of the stories of guys transition

42:55

out the NFL , they get into broadcasting , they

42:58

get into podcasting right away , they start

43:00

a business , whatever the case may be . That

43:02

was not me , but I

43:04

also had a lot of growing to do within

43:07

myself in those

43:09

two years before I could feel

43:11

even comfortable enough . I would

43:13

not do something like this two years ago , like

43:16

I would have told you no you know , so

43:18

like something like that . For

43:21

me that's what it looked like Just pressing

43:23

, going out

43:25

of my comfort zone to connect with people

43:27

. Obviously , I think there's

43:30

ways to keep relationships

43:32

alive , healthy relationships

43:34

that benefit you and benefit

43:36

the other person . But

43:38

you know , I'm not that . I'm not that

43:40

person that is going to

43:42

stretch myself then

43:44

to please someone else

43:47

. That's just not me , and that's not where

43:49

I feel comfortable at .

43:50

I definitely feel like , and I've always felt this

43:52

way , but now , from an embodied place and this

43:54

is to your point that you know I

43:56

feel like there's a correlation with self-work

43:59

and success . A correlation

44:02

, not an if this , then that , and I think

44:04

that's the issue If I work on myself

44:06

, then I will get success .

44:07

That's a transactional thing and that's not that's

44:09

the wrong energy , that's the wrong way to look at it . I think

44:12

if you're doing

44:14

it for that , it's truly

44:16

not authentic , you know .

44:18

And I think you actually never end

44:20

up getting that . You will only get

44:22

people , situations , experiences to

44:24

help rid you of that thing for you to

44:26

finally be like , okay , I'm not doing that anymore , right

44:29

, and I feel like

44:31

you know to your point on how people will

44:33

come to you with opportunities and

44:35

say , hey , this is this and that , and obviously , however

44:37

it's expressed is like that it's gold , right , cause they're

44:39

expressing it to you . But I think

44:41

that we look at or at least me , I've looked

44:43

at my life in my own singular silo

44:46

, right ? If I'm , I want to do this

44:48

and I think this would be great and I want to go out and do whatever

44:50

. And the moment I get an opportunity , I'm like oh

44:52

, this must be the thing . But I'm not realizing

44:55

that there's also people who I don't think

44:57

it's always intentional , but there are people who

44:59

will siphon your energy and say

45:01

, hey , you're shiny .

45:03

Yeah .

45:04

Come partner with me on this thing .

45:06

Yeah , yeah , yeah .

45:07

Look how great it could be .

45:08

Yeah .

45:08

Right , I mean , that's happened to me and for someone who's

45:10

seeking .

45:11

Yeah , it's almost a trap

45:13

.

45:13

It's a trap , yes , and I would say I

45:15

use trap lightly , because I feel like and

45:17

I'm sure you might feel this way too every

45:20

person , every relationship

45:22

, every anything is just for

45:24

your growth everybody

45:27

is the best blessing for the thing if

45:29

you have that perspective , if you have that perspective

45:31

, I have a friend who was telling me that they were , like , you

45:33

know , going through some things and like wanted to leave

45:35

this person . And I'm like that person

45:37

is the best person for you , because the work

45:40

that you're going to have to do to one get out of the

45:42

situation , the person you're going to have to become

45:44

, is the best thing that could ever fucking

45:46

happen to you , because you're going to be who you want to be yeah

45:48

, absolutely but like you gotta , you gotta

45:50

sit in the shit for a minute . You know what I mean , and so

45:52

I think that , um , if I'm understanding

45:55

you correctly , it's that like there was a lot

45:57

of growth that was happening and in some of

45:59

these experiences they developed

46:01

a lot of different character in you for you to actually

46:03

, post-career , do something that's

46:06

divinely aligned .

46:07

Yeah , it's crazy because , like

46:09

now , I'm completely

46:12

fine with turning down opportunities

46:15

, regardless of

46:17

the money that's on the table

46:19

or whatever it looks like . If I don't feel I've learned

46:21

to like kind of listen to my intuition , and if I don't feel I've

46:23

learned to like kind of listen to

46:25

my intuition and if I

46:27

don't feel like it's right for me , there's

46:31

a way for me to turn it down . But

46:33

keep the relationship open . And you

46:35

know , but as opposed

46:37

to some time

46:39

ago where I was like yes , like this is it

46:41

? You know , like , I think sometimes

46:44

, you know everyone wants to progress

46:46

and I think sometimes

46:49

we get in this mode of wanting

46:51

to say yes because we

46:53

think it's a stepping stone to get

46:55

into the next , the next spot

46:57

. But there's also ways

47:00

to say no and

47:03

step to the next portion

47:06

of your life or opportunity

47:08

. Like . Some of those things are tests

47:10

you know and like

47:12

I've , I've failed tests and

47:14

I've passed tests that I think have been

47:16

, you know , essential

47:19

in growth .

47:20

Uh , I think people can look at you right now and

47:23

say , wow , like you know , he

47:25

feels like he's on the other side of things . I still feel

47:27

like I might not be able to say no to opportunities

47:29

. I

47:32

would love to know what are the what have been like

47:34

unintended consequences for

47:36

the like that are

47:38

perceivably not so great and

47:40

positive consequences for this transition

47:43

of who you've become to this point , jamil , today ?

47:45

Yeah , I would . You know . For those

47:47

people like I would not say I'm on

47:49

the other side of things . Like I said , I

47:51

feel like it's a constant

47:54

decision every day and

47:57

, at the end

47:59

of the day , like , what makes you

48:01

happy , what makes you

48:03

, what gives you that fire

48:05

to get up every

48:08

morning ? That's my biggest

48:10

thing and I base every

48:12

situation opportunity

48:15

off . Is this where

48:17

I'm going to be able to grow

48:20

and progress the way

48:22

that I want to progress , progress

48:26

the way that I want to progress ? So , regardless of what that looks

48:28

like , whatever comes across my table , like how am I going to feel

48:31

? I basically placed myself

48:33

in situations that

48:35

are being presented to me .

48:37

What does that look ?

48:37

like it's . You

48:39

know it looks different . Say , you get offered a job

48:42

and you

48:44

know this job isn't technically what you

48:46

want to be doing , but

48:48

the salary is great . For

48:51

me , the salary does

48:53

not outweigh what

48:56

I'm going to feel like every day walking

48:58

into that space

49:01

.

49:01

Why ? Because some people would be like okay

49:03

, I'll do whatever .

49:05

I think because , I think

49:07

because , and by all

49:09

means , get your bread . You know , I'm saying like

49:11

, get your money . If you

49:13

are in a situation where you need to get

49:15

that money , get that bread . That's

49:19

my opinion . I'm not saying

49:21

, turn down the bread , get your bread

49:24

. But I'm in situation

49:26

. I'm in a position in my life where

49:29

I

49:31

have played

49:34

in the NFL , I've seen people

49:36

who have millions of dollars be

49:39

unhappy and

49:41

I've seen guys who maybe

49:44

played three months be the happiest

49:46

in their transition . So

49:49

I've just come to the point

49:52

of being able

49:54

to truly be

49:56

in the field , of wanting to be

49:59

happy and my biggest

50:01

thing is having

50:03

impact . I don't feel like I've

50:06

had the impact that I want to , and

50:09

that's what makes me happy . I want

50:11

to impact people the right way , you know , like

50:13

. Hence why I started the podcast . Like

50:16

my thing was I

50:18

want to bring conversations that I'm having daily

50:21

to life

50:23

on camera so that people can have

50:26

something to tune into that

50:28

they don't want to admit that they need . But you

50:30

need it , you know , and it's okay , you don't have

50:32

to you don't have to

50:35

admit it . I know you need it , you

50:37

know so , and that's my goal

50:39

with it and I feel like I

50:42

feel aligned with that and I feel

50:44

like it's where

50:47

I'll have some impact Totally

50:49

.

50:51

You started this podcast .

50:53

Yes .

50:54

And it's gone so well .

50:55

Yes , thank you .

50:57

You , I feel like , have transformed

50:59

. I know you won't let me tie you down to

51:02

a transformation , but I do think that you

51:04

were something before and you are

51:06

something else now having

51:08

dipped your feet in gotten

51:11

feedback , become a different type

51:13

of interviewer . What , what

51:16

had to change in you ? Who have you become

51:18

in this process of putting yourself out there

51:20

? Putting yourself out there by yourself is

51:23

is not the easiest thing to do ?

51:25

Yeah , it's not , and you know it's crazy , like

51:27

I was always someone who

51:30

thought that I needed

51:32

to collaborate

51:35

with someone in order to

51:37

feel comfortable Not

51:40

to have success , but just to feel comfortable

51:42

and so being

51:45

the main person . Obviously

51:47

, there's a team behind it

51:49

, you know like , and I'm so grateful

51:51

for everyone that helps me with that , my

51:54

wife included like huge

51:56

. But , um , I

51:59

think that the biggest thing

52:02

that changed for me was just

52:04

not caring what the opinions

52:07

were . You know the feedback's been

52:09

great . Like I've

52:11

also been scrutinized at a high point

52:13

from playing in

52:15

the NFL , that this

52:18

to me . I can take

52:20

the the criticism , if there

52:22

is any , you you know . So I

52:24

had to become . I just had to come to a place

52:26

of like . So

52:29

many people have been in this position

52:31

of starting

52:34

something new and have had

52:37

this fear of

52:40

failing .

52:41

Yeah .

52:42

If I let that win

52:45

, I'll never know where

52:48

this thing will end up and I keep

52:50

telling everyone , like if it gets

52:52

10 views every week , I don't care

52:54

. But I feel fulfilled

52:56

that I'm having conversations

52:59

with people that I really

53:01

value , because

53:04

it's healthy for me and it's it's

53:06

accountability at the end of the day , like the

53:09

biggest thing for me was the imposter syndrome

53:11

, part of like jumping

53:13

on a podcast speaking about

53:16

certain things but not living

53:18

that way , and I didn't want

53:20

people to be like . That's not him , you

53:22

know . Like . No , that's me . Like the

53:24

podcast is 100 percent who

53:26

I am and I feel so comfortable when

53:29

the camera starts rolling because I don't have

53:31

to like put on this front of who

53:33

I am right now .

53:34

Right , you mentioned that the

53:37

previous version of you felt like that you

53:39

might need to collaborate to

53:41

feel comfortable . Where

53:44

has that come from ?

53:45

I don't know . You know , I think that's

53:49

just an insecurity , like and

53:53

I'm past that now- yeah but it's definitely

53:55

an insecurity and I'm not scared to like . I

53:57

think so many people have this problem with admitting

54:01

that they have an

54:03

insecurity around . Whatever the

54:05

case may be , like I'm not scared because I firmly

54:08

stand on who I am , you know . So it

54:11

was just an insecurity for me . You know , I

54:13

had just

54:16

people that I thought I would collaborate

54:18

with and oh yeah , this would be good

54:20

, you know , and it's always good to have someone

54:22

that pushes you . In my opinion

54:24

, it's always good to have someone that pushes you

54:26

, in my opinion . But at what point do I step

54:29

out on my own and

54:31

believe that I can

54:33

accomplish something on

54:35

my own ?

54:36

Right .

54:36

And I think it's more satisfying Like I

54:38

said , there's a team behind it , but it

54:41

is satisfying going

54:43

into it and coming

54:46

out of an episode and being like

54:48

you know , damn

54:50

, you did that , yeah , like it's

54:52

something about and you probably feel it as

54:54

well like being able to steer

54:57

an pot , a interview

55:00

the way you want to steer it and

55:02

having success with that . It

55:04

just feels , it feels good . So

55:06

you know and it's a new something

55:08

that that also hits is like

55:10

it's a new territory

55:12

for me and I

55:15

could have went and did the same thing . I could have went and did something

55:17

football involved , whatever but I

55:19

didn't feel like I was gonna grow so like

55:21

this is completely out of my comfort zone

55:23

and I'm learning

55:25

a lot about myself in the moment and

55:28

that's .

55:29

That's a good feeling yeah , I , um

55:31

, I think it's been . I don't

55:33

think it's been really beautiful to watch thank

55:35

you on the sidelines . You know it's

55:39

dope all that you created is dope , and then from

55:41

an embodied place , and not just

55:43

being on a podcast and repeating

55:45

things that you hear yeah that

55:48

has been . I didn't used

55:50

to feel that way about things , but I think now

55:52

that I'm having my own embodied wisdom

55:56

type of conversations with people from

55:58

a learned place , a lived place , directing

56:00

conversations around that it

56:02

makes it easier to see oh , you're just

56:06

saying something that you heard .

56:07

And .

56:07

I get that because that's kind of where you're at

56:09

. So it's been really dope to see you have these conversations

56:11

from an embodied place , because that's where

56:13

impact is at , not just in steering the conversation , but

56:15

also in like your own learnings .

56:17

Yeah , feeling organic , to be honest

56:19

, like I tell everyone that I'm

56:21

shooting a podcast with like I

56:24

don't want this to be anything outside

56:26

of what we normally do . You know

56:28

, I want this to be how

56:31

our normal conversations are . It's

56:33

just the cameras are here and everything

56:36

that I've done so far feels

56:39

like that , and that's the most

56:41

rewarding part , I think yeah

56:43

just having that organic feeling

56:46

to these

56:48

conversations totally , um

56:51

, I want

56:53

to .

56:54

I want to close with this . It's a question to

56:56

you yeah your younger self

56:58

yeah who maybe

57:01

didn't know what they didn't know yet and were just

57:03

kind of operating off of all

57:05

that they knew in that moment . What

57:08

, what , what might they need to hear from

57:10

from this jamil , the

57:12

best jamil that there's ever been , which is the jamil

57:14

today , here and and now ?

57:15

Yeah , that's tough . Um

57:18

, if I could tell my

57:20

younger self anything , I

57:24

would say stay

57:27

hungry for growth

57:30

and like learning

57:32

and don't be . Don't

57:35

think that you know life

57:38

is just

57:40

going to come to you and you

57:43

know , like , push yourself to

57:45

learn new things , step out

57:47

of your comfort zone and

57:50

you're going to develop

57:52

the way that you want to . I

57:54

would say that there's so many different stages

57:56

of my younger self that

57:59

which is why I didn't plant an age , because I'm like

58:01

you might know who might need to hear whatever

58:03

at whatever point in time . You know what's crazy . I think that

58:05

there's a time period

58:08

like I categorize

58:10

things by it's

58:13

almost like years

58:15

at a time , you know , like there's so

58:17

like portions of my life that I would

58:19

tell myself different things . But

58:22

I think where I'm at now and

58:25

the thing that excites me the most

58:27

is when I learn something new and I

58:29

try something new and it works

58:31

out . Or you know

58:33

, I'm self-educating

58:35

myself , diving

58:38

down TikTok or whatever

58:40

the case may be like just learning new

58:42

things , like that's the most satisfying piece

58:44

for me . So I would definitely say , like as

58:47

a whole , without categorizing

58:49

in years , like

58:51

stay encouraged to learn more , and

58:53

I think you're going

58:55

to continue to grow the way you want to

58:57

.

58:57

That's really beautiful .

59:00

What would you tell your younger self , since

59:03

you're asking me all the questions .

59:05

I would tell my younger self that you

59:10

don't have to give it all away . And

59:13

what I was going to say after you and this will land the plane , and

59:15

what I was going to say after you and this will like

59:19

land a plane , is that even in like shroom

59:21

journeys , or when I've gotten like downloads

59:23

, when I'm , you know , talking to God or

59:25

whatever it is that I'm getting like messages from

59:28

, and

59:31

I mean wherever

59:33

like , wherever physical place

59:35

, I feel like it's all so poetic

59:37

and just

59:40

in this exercise of me asking you , I'm

59:42

like oh , that's why it's poetic , Because

59:45

it's principled . You

59:47

basically said I know

59:49

now that I love learning , so

59:52

that I can just give you a statement

59:54

on learning and I know you will eventually

59:56

find your way back to me , Right ? The Jamil

59:58

now to the Jamil then , and

1:00:01

like a singular , pointed thing

1:00:03

, is only going to give you a fraction of

1:00:05

information in that moment , but

1:00:07

it wouldn't be a principle thing that you apply throughout

1:00:09

life . And the principle

1:00:12

thing that you apply throughout life is like teaching you how

1:00:14

to fish instead of just giving you the fish in that moment

1:00:16

of what you need to learn , Right ? And

1:00:18

I feel like that , like even with my shroom

1:00:20

journeys , I'm like it all feels so poetic and so

1:00:22

like prophetic and like I feel like a

1:00:24

lot of the stuff in the Bible that God talks about is like poetic

1:00:27

and and prophetic , but

1:00:29

it's because it's it's principled

1:00:31

. Your higher self is going to give you a

1:00:34

principled thing to apply

1:00:36

to everything so

1:00:38

that you can grow in that and

1:00:40

grow into what you want to be

1:00:42

.

1:00:42

For sure , it's almost to

1:00:46

me . It's like being process oriented instead

1:00:50

of focusing on

1:00:52

the end goal or

1:00:54

where you are right now , like

1:00:56

focus on the process

1:00:58

of getting to where you

1:01:01

want to go .

1:01:01

Right .

1:01:02

And like , like I said , people hear

1:01:04

that but they don't listen to it , like there's a

1:01:06

difference between hearing and listening . In my

1:01:08

opinion , when you truly listen

1:01:11

to something like spend time

1:01:13

with that , like be process-oriented

1:01:16

, google what that means and

1:01:18

dive into the

1:01:22

actual definition of being process-oriented

1:01:25

and break that down for what it

1:01:27

looks like for you , because that's how you

1:01:29

get started .

1:01:30

Totally . I mean even just in what I'm saying

1:01:32

to myself . You don't have to give it all away . That

1:01:34

can be in a bajillion different things

1:01:36

, yeah to myself you don't have to give it all away . That can be in a bajillion different

1:01:38

things . It's in how I will emotionally monitor the room . How's everyone feeling

1:01:41

? I can feel energetically how people are

1:01:43

feeling . That's a trauma response , but I can feel it

1:01:45

. It's my choice on the act on it . That'd be giving

1:01:47

it away . It's not my responsibility to make anyone else feel good

1:01:49

no you make . They are responsible , making

1:01:51

themselves feel good that's the them thing you don't have to

1:01:53

give it all away , right , and then I can go into something

1:01:55

else , like you don't have to give it all away , right , and then I can go into something else

1:01:57

, like you don't have to give it all away . Or in that when I told you , I gave , I'll do , I'll buy

1:01:59

, I'll do this , I'll do that , you don't have to give it all away . So

1:02:02

, like I'm actually

1:02:04

really happy that you pointed that back and that we landed that

1:02:06

plane , because that is like probably in my

1:02:09

opinion I mean , you are a great guest , but that is like the

1:02:11

most beautiful thing that I've been taking away from that

1:02:13

. That that's why it's prophetic and that's

1:02:15

why it's like very poetic , because it's

1:02:17

a it's

1:02:29

applied over the longterm

1:02:31

of your life .

1:02:33

Yeah , absolutely . It definitely

1:02:36

longterm

1:02:38

like . Look at it that way , you know longterm . This

1:02:40

is's also a way to be present

1:02:43

and continue to look

1:02:46

at things from a long-term aspect instead

1:02:48

of short-term . I think

1:02:50

that's a healthy way to go about things .

1:02:52

Yep , you're absolutely right . Thank you so much , jarrell

1:02:55

. You're amazing . Thank you for having me .

1:02:56

I appreciate it . I'm less nervous

1:02:58

now .

1:03:02

Can I just say thank you so much for

1:03:04

being here . It means the world to me that we're

1:03:06

growing together . So if there's someone that

1:03:08

you thought of while listening , please share it with them too

1:03:11

, and when you share it , let them know that they're

1:03:13

not on this journey alone . But also

1:03:15

, if you just love this episode , take a

1:03:17

screenshot , share it on Instagram and tag

1:03:19

me at Aisha so I can thank you for hanging

1:03:21

with me on this journey . Oh

1:03:26

, and one more thing Don't forget to rate and write a review with your

1:03:28

favorite takeaway , so this podcast can be shared with more

1:03:30

people . And before I go

1:03:32

, I want to thank you again for being here .