Friday Night Fanfiction

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Sample forbidden and horrible delicacies and profusely inappropriate renditions of already cringe-worthy TV in Baranbrat's "Big Bang Theory Gang Bang Orgy". This... this is gonna suck. And it did. There was LOTS of sucking involved, along with some of the funniest most terrible sexual writing we've read this season. Lumps were identified, Tiduses were laughed, and panties were eaten. For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Cuzintiny's wretched Saved By the Bell slashfic, “Bangin’ at Bayside” continues! Seriously, this writer only has the capability of writing preteen-vocabulary level sex scenes. There is literally no character development, or plot, or even bagels. If you take meds, take 'em now (unless you shouldn't mix them with alcohol). Oh wait - you can't take your meds, because this story already gulped 'em down! Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn. D-LUCKS, Asterol For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Time to celebrate! We don't have to read any more of that awful Saved by the Bell fanfiction! ...Oh. Great, now we have to read fanfiction about Brushfire and his Melon friend. Yup. We've stooped this low, folks. If there were a bottom to this barrel, we would surely have passed it by a few miles by now. Introducing: "Brushmelon". We romp through the 90's with a Disney crossover fic that really knows how to work character appeal: "69 hues of Disney the ballad of Gaston and the Kid from Iron Giant" by FlippantTriggering. And then we go live action and read "Alex Mack Meets Sabrina Spellman" by MAW. Brace yourselvesfor some very "nope" mind control. But at least the Brushfire thing was kinda sweet, even though it was a friggin' watermelon. Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Beth, Sam For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Ohhhhhh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Oh god, oh man, oh god, oh man, oh god. We return to the works of beloved author, Mr. Comicsnix, and the pain, anguish, and laughter that all his writing bestows upon us. In this episode we tackle some old classics involving Batman, Robocop, Superman, and Inspector Gadget in two wonderful tales. First, "Batman and Robocop: The Day the Men found Love", in which David's chickens fight and we discuss how phone sex with Robocop would work. Not to be outdone, "Doomsday Womb" is one of the most epic stories we've ever read; involving Kryptonite cockrings and Large Hadron Colliders. To round it all off, Val reads a beautiful poem compiled by loyal fan, Kutsu Shita, entitle "The Great Dicks of Earth". Many jokes were made, many technical issues overcome, and much too much alcohol was imbibed. For link sand more info, head to the main episode page:
We're kicking this episode off with something highly unusual, visual and fan-submitted! Loyal listener tehmsu commissioned an artist to draw Lucca from Chrono Trigger - hyper plump and sporting a proportionately engorged member. Doomington, the artist in question, liked it so much he penned a short story to go along with it. Presenting "Lucca Futa" (caution: link contains NSFW image) - we couldn't not read it. There's much moisture and grossness involved. Following that, we started reading "Bangin' at Bayside" by Cuzintiny, which cuts directly to the chase about the copious amounts of sex being had in the Saved by the Bell universe. It's going to be a two-parter, and even though we're only a few pages in, we already know it's going to be a rough one. For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
It's always the darkest before the dawn. We continue our sordid trek through "Big Bang Theory Gang Bang Orgy" by Baranbrat - Presidents were impersonated, Die's were Harded, Woo's were woo'd, and many intricate discussions about internal bodily functions happened. The smiles hurt on top of the pain of reading... Even when we're having fun it's almost unbearable. Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Sony, Tia For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Start your Friday off right with some breakfast. How about some toast? But... "by start "right" we mean start very, very wrong. This is Friday Night Fanfiction after all. In "Toaster Face" by Eerosama Lady Gaga gets fresh with a cooking toaster. Yeah. It was pretty awful. Then we move on to indie game sensation, Undertale. It's a first for us here on the show and in "THE WORST FUCKING UNDERTALE FANFICTION" by TerribleWriterWithTerribleStories we get quite the introduction. Join us on a quest for boning literally anyone or anything in the game... and it still didn't happen. But a lot of walls were broken, particularly the 4th one. BONE JOKES! Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, GraphicSloth, Mirri For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
We return to conclude the confusing and thoroughly inappropriate real-life celebrity fanfic, "Ghost Riding Fergus Riordan" by JakeB, which includes camera angles and confusing genitals. It left a pretty nasty taste in our mouths so we decided to dive right into a My Little Pony story guaranteed to offend with "Rainbow and Sonic have a Religious Experience" by Flutterpriest. It's awesome to confirm that Jesus not only vapes but also can do sick tricks with a fidget spinner. The smut in that one was questionable, so we move on to our favorite: Sonic crossovers with Freedom Beef's "Sonic and the Pokéginas". A perfect balance of right up our alley/not up our alley at all! Lastly, based entirely on things talked about during the show, we read "I Can Fix That" by TheLilacPilgrim, an Anderson Cooper/Stephen Colbert spanking fic that we really hope becomes a live adaptation one day. Anderson Cooper is indeed quite dreamy. Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Two "titillating" tales to terrify! The first, "Masturbation for Dummies (Gold Edition)" by Redtana is a My Little Pony fic featuring magical self-pleasuring. It'll make you ask profound questions like: "does mutual masturbation counts as the 'friendship' part of 'Friendship is Magic'." The second story, "Tension Relief" by TrainMaster64, will remind you just how creepy Thomas the Tank Engine is and then crank that creep up to 11 with eerie erotica. Toot-toot!​ Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn Guests: Nodachie, Bubbles For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Our second foray into the world of Hyrule as lucidly dreamed by Link’s Queen in our Season 5 lognfic reading: “My Inner Life”. For reals, it gets a bit hot and heavy right up until Dracula shows up (our Dracula, not Dracula in the story). Laughs were had, tears were shed, and we definitely ruined a few legacies. Now if you'll excuse us, we've got to go commission some Carl on Carl erotic art.​ Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Moguta For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
That's it. We've had enough! Too many weeks of this drek lucid dreaming Hyrule Mary Sue bull. We finally reach our limit and take a reprieve from Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic: “My Inner Life”. We read through a few pages but then switch gears to a much more enjoyable story from a much better author, with much more well developed characters and funnier lines and everything: "Garfield Land" by the aptly-named Shakespear Hemmingway It was great. Maybe you do really need to go through hell to appreciate reality. Unfortunately, we know we'll have to go back next week...​ For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
It's always a treasure when we read some fanfiction by one of our own fans... And it's got ponies in it... And the ponies are peeing. And also diapers. The story is called "Twilight Tinkle" by first rate pervert GrassDragon. It was really gross and wet and kind of like the worst Super Soaker fight you could imagine possible. Then, we delve into a fanfic about the 90's CGI show ReBoot: "ReBooty Call" by De-Manged; where there's incest and it's also really gross and not fun to read. But hey, this is our life now, and we do it because you enjoy our suffering. For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
The following message was found in a large glass jar, next to the remains of a fairy of some sort: "If you're reading this then I am likely already beyond help. It feels like I've been wandering these lands for a millennia already, yet I am no closer to my goal. I don't remember who I am anymore, or how I'm able to write this. This realm, this entire reality, was created just for me by her. And she will not leave me alone. She says my blue eyes are eternal, and then I am able to see the grotesqueries of eternity as a result. I can see in all of it's cosmic horror that I am bound to existence only as someone else's thought. It has taken all of my strength just to write this down in the few hours that she is not here. I don't know when she'll return, or what awful rites of passage she will make me undergo. I didn't want children. I didn't want adventure. I didn't want any of this. If you're not simply another figment of her imagination, I give you only these words: Do not trust Jenna. Do not interact with Jenna. If you meet someone by that name, run. Run as fast as you can away. I am already doomed." Yes... the Quest to Make it End continues as we venture deeper into Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic: “My Inner Life”. For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! The liberal media of Hyrule is brainwashing you! Okay, no, they're really not, we just went a bit off the rails with right-wing conspiracy theories this episode. Another week, another pointless session of lucid dream self-indulgence from Link’s Queen’s “My Inner Life”, and her dreamworld of Hyrule. Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Cyril, Sollux For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Behold the cosmic horror that is "American Splits" a story by Heisanevilgenius, aka Peter Chimera, aka Tom White who joins the fantastic fivesome in this very episode! We named it right at the start of our show, even, for no apparent reason! Game of Thrones will never be the same again. Following that, we finally get started on our longfic for the season: "My Inner Life" by Link's Queen. This thing almost predates the internet, people. It was made in the late 90's as part of someone's lucid dream experience in the land of Hyrule, complete with Mary-Sue complex and self-insertion. This is gonna hurt real bad. Real bad. Drink along with us for the longest author's note we've ever read - so long we only barely get into the sexy on the first episode! HOLD ON TO YA BUTTS. Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Tom For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Dust off your best-worn Vans, friends! In this episode we read the pro-skateboarder slashfic you never knew you wanted: "Tony, Cindy and Bam make a Porno" by "Mann Rice" and Nodachie. Yup. Wax your boards, folks. And by "boards" we mean both your skateboard as well as whatever phallic object you're sporting... because Tony Hawk and Bam Margera are about to "grind". Next we read "A Charlie Brown Christmas" by Author Obscure. We thought it was going to be whimsical. Well, it's only really whimsical if you're into pee, inter-species relations, and other forbidden fruits. If you see Charles Schulz in heaven, tell him we're sorry. For links and more info, head to the main episode page: link:
Sometimes the awfulness of a bad fanfic is rooted in a genuine love of a property and a lust that the author simply has to express. And sometimes... well, sometimes that bad fanfic might be trolling your ass. We think "face the strange" by unbeatenduck is one such fic. Naruto, Harry Potter, Twilight, Sonic, X-Men, there's a whole lot of ugh going on here. Some sentences are amazing and absolutely brilliant... Then we get into the slurs that make us cringe, but we still slogged through to make it over halfway. For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic: “My Inner Life” continues. We have no words anymore. Only cat noises. There's no hope. Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Mana, Jared For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Mmm, British sexiness. In this episode it's not just our upper lips we're keeping stiff. We finally get the chance to touch The Doctor in "Dirty Laundry" by emeraldeyedirishdaughter. For many, David Tennant is sexy. For us... this was pretty freaking unsexy. Behold as rookie readers get riotous and try to pick apart plot and logic which isn't there. The alcohol will teach them, and teach them well. We chase the Whovian smut with a My Little Pony story, because this year Friday Night Fanfiction is going to be at BronyCon - and it's this weekend! Join us for "Sonic Beats Rainbow Dash Who Beats Sonic in a Race" by by Scootareader. It's a great story for all fans of MLP and probably no fans of Sonic. Readers: Stevo, David, Shawn, Val, Sarah, Jeremy For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
This is the stuff of nightmares. Our Season 5 longfic reading, Link’s Queen's “My Inner Life”, is so bad that our computer hardware stopped working properly. Yes, we had to re-record this episode on a Sunday because we had technical issues. May the memory forever stain us. In this episode we finally get to the bonding ceremony (not the good kind of bonding either) - plus pizza burps and general malaise ahoy! Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Nerdy Show's Tony and Cap us team up with us to read some truly outrageously bad fanfic. Jem and the Holograms is a property that should have been ripe for the plucking when it comes to weird erotica, but author Tira Ravenwing shows us that no - the sexual adventures of The Holograms and The Misfits are off-key and boring. Submitted for your disapproval: "Island Interlude" and "Tangled Web Flattery". But don't worry fam, we've got some toxic fic to wash it all down with: "Ghost Riding Fergus Riordan" by Jake B. It's from Kristen's Collection - so you KNOW it's bad and wrong, wrong, wrong. Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Tony, Cap For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Steel yourselves, because we're back in the vaults and reading more smut from the now-dreaded Kristen's Collection. First, we have "Saltwater" by Komsomol, which was submitted to us as "like Dolphin Sex, but with Sharks." We enter some real dream-shaping, shark-humping absurdity where things that aren't real are apparently real anyway... and learn that claspers are pretty scary stuff. After that, we read "Battle Monkeys" by CarlosRegerado, which is apparently based on a mobile game. If that game is anything like this story then you'll be glad you haven't played it. It features forced cuckolding for primeapes and then a twist ending that made us all feel bad about the human race existing at all. For links and more info, head to the main episode page:
Fanfics read: Precursors & Dark Makers (by xax) Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Sir Splee, Steve Referee: Val We finish off the Jak and Daxter fic, “Precursors and Dark Makers” by xax. We… We don’t even know anymore. There’s a lot of tentacles, and there’s eco, and its light and dark, and the sentences run on sometimes, and somehow Captain Spankit saves the day or something. It was weird. But we FINISHED IT! Yay. Go us. ;_; Grab the fic and other stuff at
Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain) Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Mana, Deven Referee: Val The season finale longfic reading of the Captain America/ Bucky tale “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain continues! In this episode… We almost had the sex. WE ALMOST HAD THE SEX. We are literally inches away from the sex now, its so close we can taste the lube and raging boners. But no. No, we didn’t get the sex. We got more of Bucky’s backstory about his alcoholism and his arm and him being a whiny pissant to all his friends because he refuses to believe Steve in interested in him and it’s like, “OH MY GOD IS THIS A SHOW ON THE WB IN THE MID 90’S?!” Grab the fic and other stuff at
Fanfics read: Final Futanari XIII (by Kid) Steamy Kitchen (by TheTicketCollector) Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Lucas, Garret Referee: Val Well, we knew we’d have to go back to the Futa, and back to the Final Fantasy, and this time it’s been wound together tighter than a housewife’s sex knot. “Final Futanari XIII” by Kid delivers exactly what it’s title implies. After that, we dip into Tim Burton’s Hot Topic-ified IP, The Nightmare Before Christmas in “Steamy Kitchen” by TheTicketCollector. It honestly could have been way worse, but it was still pretty uncomfortable. Grab the fic and other stuff at
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Podcast Details

Oct 6th, 2014
Latest Episode
Mar 27th, 2020
Release Period
No. of Episodes
Avg. Episode Length
About 2 hours

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