Episode 21

During a recent group workshop I was running in central London the topic of the failing ToDo list came up. I polled a few people on Twitter to find out what worked or failed for them when it came to managing their own ToDo lists.

The resounding response was “My ToDo list doesn’t work, I never seem to get anything done that’s on it and it just keeps growing!”

Does that sound familiar?

Yeah it did for me too. I spent a lot of time researching different systems and one thing always stands out. You have to have more than one list! I can’t help but think that a lot of people just felt a little deflated by that thought. Trying to manage one is hard enough, how the hell is managing multiple ones going to make things better?!

Bear with me. It’s easier than you think and I promise this will make a huge difference. How you implement this system will depend on you though, maybe using some fancy electronic synchronises reminder system on your smart phone, plain old paper and a pen, post-it notes, a spread sheet or just using your memory…… personally I totally suck at that!

So choose what every preference you have and make three sections and title them:

Time specific
Benefits me
Need to do (but not right now)

For the time specific I prefer to use my diary, as it’s on my phone and synced with Google calendar it’s always available to update and has reminders. Think of time specific, initially, as things like Doctors appointments, meetings or anything that has a set time to start and length. But you’re going to add in buffer time before and after these appointments. These buffer times could be travel, preparing for a meeting or anything that needs to be taking into consideration. These buffer times are great for people that are always late or even too early for all their appointments. It teaches you to consider more than just the Time Specific task. Adding in this buffer times also helps people to stop over or underestimating how long something will take. For example a meeting may only take 1 hour, but if it’s in a different building then you’ll often find yourself suddenly having to rushing from one place to the next as travelling,even only short distances still takes time! A doctors appointment may only be 10 minutes, but you have to expect delays in the surgery,  as well as travel to and from the doctor as well. Suddenly a 10 minute appointment seems more like 1-2 hours!  It’s because people don’t account for these buffer times they get to the end of the day and even though they are exhausted they feel like they’ve hardly achieved anything! You end up burning up what you thought was productive time on things that needed more time than you planned. So the point I’m basically making here is make sure Time Specific tasks are in you diary, but make sure to plan you buffer time before and after.

“Benefits me” tasks are things you need to do for you, that will make your day, week….. maybe even life better! If you have a task on your todo list and it doesn’t directly benefit you, don’t put it on this list! Aim to do these tasks at your most productive hour of the day. For me I’m a morning person. So if I want to do a task that benefits me I tend to aim to start them first thing in the morning. Notice I said ‘start’. Most of the tasks that benefit you will take longer than the time you have in one sitting,

By focusing on taking the first steps, or the next ‘baby’ step you can take then at least you are progressing. If you wait until you have enough time to do it all in one go, chances are you’ll just never start it. Perfection paralysis sets in and it just stays on your ToDo list forever, making you feel bad every time you see it there.  As someone that is very interested in Personal Development, anything that benefits you and improves your life should be at the top of your list, not constantly pushed back. As you’re listening to this podcast then I have to assume you’re also of the same mindset. Try to focus on doing the next smallest step you can. If you do more then great! But that’s not the goal here, just moving it forward a bit is the key here. During your time focusing on “Benefits Me” tasks you’re going to get interrupted, distracted or just simply not feeling motivated. Anything that crops up during this time put on list number 3, “Need to do (but not right now)”. Putting these distractions onto this third list allows your subconscious to let them go as it knows you won’t forget them, so it can stop constantly throwing the thought into your conscious mind, poking you, nagging you, making you worry unnecessarily about it. If someone interrupts you asking you to do something else, practise telling them that you can help, you can do what they are asking, just not right now. Tell them you’re in the middle of something, it won’t take long, and that you’ll be with them right after. Unless it’s really urgent, they’ll understand and let you get on. Just give yourself permission to delay the non-urgent to finish what you’re doing, even if it’s only for 10 minutes. The important thing here is you are taking control. Studies have shown that interruptions, no matter how short, can cause you the equivalent of a 20 minute disruption to regain the same level of focus you had before the interruption. So if you can stop them from happening at all then that’s even better. But let’s be realistic here, locking yourself away in privacy isn’t always possible. Again, use your third list to make a note of what needs to be done after so that you don’t forget, so that your sub conscious stops nagging you about it and also so that the other person feels listened to and that you will get back to them once you’re free.

Your last list “Need to do (but not right now)” becomes active once you have completed your Time Specific and Benefits Me tasks. Now you can start chipping away at all the stuff that used to interrupt your day and stop you doing the things you really wanted to do. Sometimes these “Need to do” task do become Time Specific, so you put them in your diary like any other appointment, you add the buffer time as needed. Other times they become Benefits Me tasks, so although they don’t need a diary entry they do have a higher priority.

At the end of the week have a look at your Benefits Me and Need to do lists and reconsider if they are in the right place. Cross off stuff that just isn’t worthy anymore. Often stuff that’s been on the list for a while is no longer relevant, so get rid of it! If it’s something you really do still want and need to do then put it in your diary with the right about of buffer time. If you’re not removing at least half of the tasks then go through them again and be more brutal!

Tech

Skitch App – A universal screen grab and annotation app. It’s on EVERYTHING, Mac / PC, IOS / Android and if you use Evernote there is a link to that too.

Skitch very simply allow you to take a picture or screen shot and put text, arrows, fuzz out private information and allow you to forward these on or just simply save them for your own reference. I use this app all the time to

News

I’ve been running my London workshop now for almost 5 years, and I’d love to be able to provide this kind of support to those people that aren’t based in London. So this is a very simple request, if  you would be interested in joining a small group of guys online to help your own personal development, grow your confidence and support other guys looking to to improve them please drop me an email, once I have 4 people I will start running these workshops online. I keep these really small so that everyone gets some time to take part and get the help and advice they need to move forward. So let me know!

Thank You

To everyone for listening and please do get in touch if you have any topic ideas or suggestions

Subscribe

Subscribing to the podcast is dead easy, just pop over to iTunes and hit the subscribe button. You’ll then get each episode automatically when it’s released

You can also get an email every time a new blog post or podcast is added. You can play the podcast or read the new post directly in your email or visit back to the website. Just scroll up to the top of this webpage and fill in your name and email address in the right hand side.

Join the Community

Just sign up at http://www.GayConfidenceCoach.com/member

Connect

Join me and chat with me on:
Facebook
Twitter
Comment on this episode http://www.gayconfidencecoach.com/21

Music

Mariah Carey – Almost Home