0:00

Half Size Me episode 600

0:04

brought to you by the Half Size Me community. In order

0:06

to join us, please go to halfsizeme.com

0:09

forward slash join.

0:30

Hello

0:58

Hello beautiful listeners.

1:01

Today is a very big milestone

1:04

episode. Today is 600. That

1:07

is right. We have released 600

1:11

episodes starting way

1:13

back in 2012. And

1:16

we have just been going consistently since

1:18

then, an episode every single Monday.

1:21

And I am just so thrilled that

1:24

this show has had such an impact

1:26

on so many people. And so

1:28

many

1:28

of the wonderful listeners that have been willing

1:30

to come on, get coaching, get help.

1:33

We've had so many wonderful people volunteer over the years

1:36

to do interviews. I have a great interview

1:38

for you today. I have another

1:40

one coming up here in a week or so. So

1:43

there's a great mix of just content.

1:45

And what I really hope, I mean more than anything

1:48

with the Half Size Me show, is that you walk

1:50

away feeling like there is a possibility

1:53

of change for you. When

1:55

I started my weight loss journey when I was 30, I

1:58

had already

1:58

dieted for a year.

1:59

for a very long time unsuccessfully.

2:02

I would lose the weight, I'd regain it. I'd

2:04

worked myself from 200 pounds up to 300 pounds through

2:07

the course of my twenties from dieting and binge

2:10

eating. I've been in your shoes. I know

2:12

how hopeless it can feel. I know how

2:14

you can feel like you're, there's this weird detachment,

2:17

like you have this goal for yourself. It seems

2:19

a reasonable goal. And yet every

2:22

day you wake up and you self-sabotage

2:24

like crazy and you're like, what is wrong

2:26

with me? Why am I doing this? Why do

2:28

I say this day is gonna be different? And it ends

2:30

up the same as every other day. I've

2:32

done it and it feels insane, I know.

2:35

And then one day I had a little

2:37

epiphany where I'm like, I'm bringing a kid

2:40

into this world. I have

2:42

never been at a normal weight in

2:44

my entire life for any substantial period of

2:46

time. I wanna be a good role

2:48

model to my kid and figure something

2:50

out. And I just know that what I've been

2:53

doing for my entire life to this

2:55

point has not worked. Proof is

2:57

in the pudding, right? I have dieted

2:59

hard, I have binged hard, I

3:01

have managed to work myself up the scale

3:03

over time and ultimately

3:07

just created more stress and problems for myself.

3:09

And so I woke up at one point

3:12

and said, it's gotta change. And it's

3:14

gotta change with my thinking first. And

3:16

I didn't have always the words that I have now

3:19

to put to it, but inherently

3:21

I knew that when I woke up in the morning and

3:23

I had these really crazy plans for myself

3:25

and these very restrictive approaches and I was not

3:27

gonna have treats and I was not gonna do this and the long

3:29

list of not to dos, it ended

3:32

up creating me face planning by the end of the day. So

3:34

I woke up and I said, what's something I can

3:36

do that is sustainable? What is something

3:38

I could see myself doing for the rest of my life?

3:40

What is a simple habit I

3:43

could start to bring in? And I started with walking. And

3:45

then I started to layer in other habits like eating

3:48

more fruits and vegetables and I started cooking

3:50

at home and basic simple things, meal

3:52

planning, like really basic stuff. And

3:55

over the course of time, I started losing weight. And

3:57

so each pregnancy I had, I weighed less

3:59

than the previous. pregnancy. I wasn't

4:01

even tracking anything at that point, just

4:03

making habit changes. And then after my third

4:05

son was born, I was about 50-ish pounds down

4:07

from my highest. I decided

4:10

to be more intensive because I

4:12

wasn't planning on having more kids at that point. And

4:14

I really kicked it up a notch and I actually started

4:16

journaling. I started doing all those things. I joined Weight

4:18

Watchers. I'd gone for 18

4:20

months and worked on losing more weight. And

4:23

then when I got the weight off, wow,

4:25

okay, so all this has been working. Five

4:27

years have gone by. My weight's down now at

4:29

a reasonable range. And now I'm going to

4:31

work on this journey of maintaining. And that's where

4:33

you came in. I

4:36

brought the Half-Sized Me show to life as a

4:38

way for me

4:39

to continue to learn this

4:41

maintenance journey and

4:43

to help inspire and motivate other people

4:46

that I know were in my shoes. And

4:48

it has been nothing but a wonderful learning

4:51

journey. I'm a continuous

4:53

learner. I read copious amounts of books.

4:56

I just love to take in information. I feel like

4:58

educating myself is one of the most fun

5:01

things that I like to do because when I learn

5:03

something new, I love to relate it to you guys

5:05

and share or share it in a community

5:08

webinar. I always take books to

5:10

the community webinars and tell them what I'm reading

5:12

and where I see they're being positive for them.

5:14

Because I think when we stop seeing

5:16

this as being a journey, that we are going

5:18

to get to some finite end point. And

5:21

we get that this is just constantly evolving

5:24

and morphing and changing. And

5:26

we're growing and learning and changing.

5:29

It just really kind of relaxes you

5:31

into it versus feeling rigid, panicked,

5:34

got to get there, got to get there. Something's there

5:36

that's not here. No, you've

5:38

already got it all. It's all

5:41

there. If every day you're willing to wake up

5:43

and do some very basic habits and

5:45

if you're willing to continue to learn about yourself

5:47

and the process and how

5:49

you relate to life in general, you

5:52

will see that this is an ongoing

5:54

growth project. And honestly, you want it to be,

5:57

right? If you're dead, all your

5:59

problems cease to... exist. I don't want to be

6:01

dead. I want to be here experiencing

6:03

life learning and when I changed

6:05

my mindset to I'm a lifelong learner,

6:08

it all opened up for me. I've been so

6:10

thankful to be on this journey with you for the last 11

6:13

years as I've been maintaining my weight loss,

6:15

continuing to grow and evolve

6:17

as a coach, learning

6:20

myself what works and doesn't work for me at different

6:22

stages of my life. I mean when I started this,

6:25

I was in my mid 30s. Now

6:27

I'm in my mid to late 40s. My

6:29

life is changing too. So it's just

6:31

really cool to grow with you, to

6:33

be on this journey with you and today's

6:36

interview is with somebody who

6:38

is so awesome. Her name

6:41

is Sophia. She is a community

6:43

member. She has worked

6:46

on losing weight but more important than

6:48

any of that is her mindset shift. She's

6:51

really going to talk to you today about

6:53

how she has done exactly

6:56

what all of us have done. She's weight cycled.

6:58

She's diet cycled but at some point

7:00

in her journey she really started

7:03

not only to embrace this idea of being a learner, she

7:05

started listening to the half-size me message and

7:07

things for her really, really

7:10

started to shift. She found her real maintenance

7:12

calories. She started going more

7:14

into self-exploration and learning what things

7:16

from her past didn't work for her. This

7:19

was a phenomenal interview. I'm

7:21

so excited it's episode 600.

7:23

I'm so grateful for her coming on and sharing

7:26

her story with us. So now,

7:28

one thing I did want to let you know, so a couple

7:31

changes before I get to her interview.

7:33

One, in June I gave you guys a heads up. We were

7:35

going to be changing the podcast. Remember we talked

7:38

about how we're going to go to every other episode

7:40

being on the public feed but every

7:42

single episode will be available podcast premium

7:44

members and then through the month of July

7:47

I gave you guys little reminders

7:49

that the episode was released but

7:51

it was only being released to podcast premium members.

7:54

Moving forward, there won't be

7:56

any of that. So there'll be today's episode

7:59

but come next month. you won't see anything

8:01

in your feed if you're not a podcast premium

8:03

subscriber. But rest assured 601

8:06

will go out. If you want to get 601

8:09

it will be available to podcast premium subscribers.

8:12

If not, if you're not a podcast premium subscriber

8:14

then I will talk to you the following week

8:16

for episode 602 but you won't

8:19

really get anything next Monday as a reminder.

8:21

So I just wanted to put that in here now so I didn't

8:23

forget. Not only do you get all 600

8:26

episodes as a podcast premium subscriber

8:29

but you actually get to

8:29

hear coaching series which

8:32

is different than these one-off coaching calls

8:34

I do for the show. A coaching series

8:36

is following the same person for 10

8:39

to 20 weeks. You get to hear

8:41

their coaching evolve, how they change

8:44

as a person, all the different things we implement.

8:46

It's a really good insight into

8:49

what coaching looks like and that

8:51

I have two different ones one with Carolina and one

8:53

with Sarah so you get to go through both and each

8:55

lady had different things that they were working on so

8:58

those are available. There's also the

8:59

ask me anythings which are questions that

9:02

are submitted just from our podcast premium subscribers.

9:04

I answer those once a month plus we

9:07

do some other kind of fun things we brought Carolina

9:09

on for Q&A sessions. We may do things

9:11

like that in the future so there's these other little fun things we

9:13

do as podcast premium subscribers. So just

9:15

want to encourage you for the for the very

9:17

low cost it's a ton of extra

9:20

content. All 600 episodes you'll

9:22

get 601 next week plus all that

9:24

additional content and to get that all you

9:26

have to do is go to halfsizeme.com

9:28

forward slash fan.

9:29

All right now without any further

9:32

ado let's go to Sophia's interview

9:34

and I will be back with you next week. All

9:36

right I'll talk to you

9:38

soon.

9:42

All right lovely listeners we have Miss

9:44

Sophia with us on the line and she

9:46

is gonna come on and say hello

9:48

and then we're gonna dive into your

9:51

story maybe go a little ways into

9:53

the past and you know tell us

9:55

when you can remember your weight

9:58

or body image issues.

9:59

who's becoming a thing for you?

10:02

Sure. Hello, everyone. It's

10:04

great to be here with you today, here with

10:06

Heather. I'm kind of, you know,

10:09

just Heather, you're just an amazing person

10:11

who really just

10:12

appreciate all that you bring to the

10:14

table. And I'm just so excited

10:16

about sharing all the things I've learned from you over

10:18

the last year and a half. But

10:21

I'm a 48 year old mom, I'm five

10:23

eight. And I have had probably

10:25

like everyone else, a weight

10:28

issue for my entire life. I

10:30

would say that I was, I was a medium

10:33

size and then I got fluffy

10:35

and then I got very overweight.

10:37

So I'll start from the beginning. As a

10:39

baby, my mom always said I came out long and

10:41

thin. And then they went away for

10:43

a little bit and gave me to her mother, my grandma.

10:46

And when I came back, I was a big, thick,

10:49

chunky baby because my grandma fed

10:51

me food, like real food. And

10:54

so my mom told me ever since then, she couldn't

10:56

just give me baby food. She had to give me real food. And

10:58

I've always been like that, I love to

11:01

eat. And I've always wanted

11:03

foods and not just snacks. So

11:05

I would think in my childhood, I would say I was a medium

11:07

size because I'm outside running

11:09

around. I was never one of those lanky,

11:12

skinny kiddos. I was always, you

11:15

know, just a medium size kind of girl.

11:17

But then I would say in fourth grade, I developed

11:20

probably sooner than some of my peers, you

11:22

know, got the hips, the thighs and the other womanly

11:24

parts around fourth grade. I

11:27

also became more of a latchkey kid, both

11:29

my parents worked. So I would

11:31

come home and I would sit

11:33

in front of the TV and eat, right? Oatmeal

11:36

pies, Twinkies, popcorn, all

11:38

the things, if your parents were home, probably

11:40

wouldn't let you eat. So

11:42

I went from maybe being a medium size to

11:44

a larger girl. I would say 14 to 18 was

11:46

the size. And

11:50

I was born in 1975. So

11:52

this was between 1980 and 1993. So this

11:54

was when, you know, you had the skinny

11:56

jeans, you know, he'd like fold them over and roll them

11:59

up and. So that

12:01

style of clothing really doesn't work

12:03

on a thicker girl. So I was always

12:05

self-conscious.

12:07

I was never teased by my

12:09

friends, but I think because

12:11

my body was very different than theirs,

12:14

I always

12:15

considered myself fluffy. I'll say fluffy. And

12:18

I was probably around five, six then in

12:20

middle school. And then when

12:23

I moved on to my teenage years,

12:26

I would say, again, I stayed between

12:28

that 14, 18 kind of size.

12:30

And I

12:34

just really enjoyed eating, but I moved

12:36

a lot in those teenage years. So

12:38

I really didn't go past that really.

12:41

And then when I got to college, I

12:44

didn't gain, I would say, the

12:46

freshman 15, because I was already there. I

12:48

would think size wise, I was a payment like 180

12:51

and 200 is kind of

12:53

where I would fluctuate in that

12:55

time period. And then once

12:57

I graduated from college and

13:00

was getting married, that's really when

13:02

I started thinking more about my weight,

13:04

because whenever you want to get married, right, you

13:06

want to be the best version of yourself.

13:09

So then I decided to

13:12

take a look at what I was eating. I didn't really

13:14

track calories at that time, but I just tried to cut

13:17

back. I was really kind of a fast

13:19

food kind of person, anything that you

13:21

could get really quickly. What

13:23

was really challenging for me is

13:25

my mom is naturally thin,

13:28

just the worst. She could

13:30

eat whatever she wanted to,

13:32

and she wouldn't gain an ounce. She was one

13:34

of those really thin women,

13:37

beautiful, but I just did

13:39

not have her metabolism. I got

13:41

the other side of the thing, metabolism.

13:44

So my parents tried to help.

13:47

They would never, they would encourage me

13:49

to eat better, but we

13:51

never really talked about calories in my

13:53

family. We didn't talk about healthy foods.

13:58

And so when I was trying

13:59

to lose weight for the wedding,

14:02

they tried, but they weren't very helpful

14:04

because either one of them had that problem. So

14:06

I worked out, right? I went to an

14:08

aerobic class. Like I said, try

14:10

to clean up my eating. Didn't really

14:13

do calories, but I probably lost maybe 10 pounds

14:15

for our wedding. Yeah, and let me

14:17

just ask this one question because I think that's interesting

14:19

that you mentioned that the

14:21

family you came from. So during the time

14:23

you were growing up, was no

14:26

adults trying to intervene and help

14:28

with your weight or were your peer groups

14:31

not really focusing on

14:32

dieting? I was born in 76 and

14:34

you and I could have been like mirror images of

14:36

each other. Your size and my size were very similar,

14:39

but I just recall there being in particular

14:41

around my female peer group, a lot of talking

14:44

about diet, especially through high school, middle school.

14:46

Did you ever run into any of that?

14:48

I did. They did talk about it

14:50

a lot, but they were in sports.

14:53

A lot of them were in sports

14:55

and some of them, similar to my mom,

14:57

didn't have a huge issue. At

15:00

least I thought. And so

15:02

even though they talked about it, there was no,

15:04

what are we gonna do about it? And I was

15:06

always the bigger one of

15:09

the group. And they never, I would

15:11

say teased me. We just never really talked about it.

15:13

They were just always thin and I was always a heavier

15:15

one. Got it. Always say I

15:17

was the sidekick. So there wasn't a lot of deep conversation

15:20

about staying

15:21

small. Like no one was on like

15:24

slim fast at the time. You know, the drinks everyone

15:26

would talk about, no one did that. No one had

15:28

eating disorders. To me, it just seemed like

15:30

they were the naturally thin people,

15:33

which was irritating. Yes, absolutely. But

15:35

that's good to know because a lot of times we

15:38

get sucked into that and oftentimes by the time

15:40

people go through college and they go to their wedding, they've

15:42

already been on multiple diet attempts. So the fact

15:44

that you didn't have that experience is actually

15:46

kind of refreshing.

15:48

Yeah. Well, my parents did try to intervene

15:50

because like I said, I was a heavier girl, but

15:52

they just didn't know what to do. My dad

15:55

said, well, if you join the swim team,

15:57

we'll get a pool in the backyard. I was like, no, I

15:59

don't want to do that mess up my hair. So they tried

16:01

to encourage me. And Heather,

16:04

the biggest thing that really stands out,

16:06

and I think I've heard you talk about this before, was in elementary

16:09

school. During that time,

16:11

it was the fitness test and them

16:13

weighing you in the hallway, which was

16:16

a nightmare for someone who was bigger than everyone else.

16:19

Those key moments really just

16:21

stand out in my mind, which let me

16:23

know that I was bigger than everyone else.

16:26

It was just a nightmare. Yeah, I

16:28

still have nightmares about

16:29

those moments because you truly feel

16:32

petrified. You know, like, oh my God, I got to

16:34

do this thing and I really don't want to do

16:36

this thing. And everyone's going to see and

16:38

everyone's going to know it's just so

16:41

mortifying. So I'm so sorry you had to go through

16:43

that. But yeah, I think we all kind of were in that bucket

16:45

during that time period.

16:47

Yeah. And so really

16:49

around right when I was getting

16:51

married, like I said, I tried to lose weight, but it really

16:54

didn't happen. I think I lost maybe 10 pounds.

16:57

So where my weight really became a huge

17:00

issue or I went from what I say fluffy,

17:02

and that's just a term of endearment, right? I went

17:05

from fluffy to overweight

17:07

was I call them happy pounds. When

17:09

my husband and I got married, I

17:11

went from Heather, I'd say maybe 202

17:14

to 272 in under

17:17

two years because I was

17:19

eating what he was eating and

17:22

we'd get up and eat. We'd go out to

17:24

dinner. We'd do all these things.

17:27

And I just gained a lot of weight

17:29

in a short amount of time. And he

17:31

was fantastic. He didn't. My

17:33

husband has loved me from as low

17:36

as 145 to as high

17:38

as 275. But what really

17:40

changed for me is when

17:42

we started wanting to have kids.

17:44

And when I went to the doctor, he said, well, you really

17:47

need to lose some weight if

17:50

you're going to have kids. And so

17:52

we got a treadmill

17:54

and so I tried to work out. This is me.

17:56

I still didn't know about calories, but then

17:58

I tried, you see all the.

17:59

So over this probably

18:02

two year period, trying to lose the weight.

18:04

This is where all those other diets came in, Heather. This

18:07

is the Richard Simmons Food Movers. I

18:09

did the Great American Slim Down. I

18:12

tried the Slim Fast. I

18:14

tried to just manage my food intake. I did

18:16

the South Beach Diet. I've done

18:19

Atkins. I even tried this thing called

18:21

metabolic renewal. I tried that

18:23

as well. And I wasn't really

18:25

successful. Oh, I think I'm leaving out a few.

18:28

The Cabbage Soup Diet, the Military Diet.

18:30

So yeah, I tried them all. And

18:33

I would lose some weight, right, 10 to 15 pounds. And

18:36

then I'd gain it right back. I couldn't keep

18:38

it off until I found it. I'm just gonna

18:40

go through this super quick. It was called the Six Week

18:42

Body Makeover. And that's where I

18:44

lost

18:45

weight, not in the best way. I lost 120

18:47

pounds in six months, Heather. But

18:50

it was very,

18:52

you ate real foods, but just smaller amounts.

18:54

And so you lost weight really, really fast. And

18:57

I kept that off. I went from 275 to like, I

19:00

would go between 145 and 150.

19:03

And I had lost the weight again for the kids.

19:05

And I

19:06

kept that off for six months. And

19:09

then I had my two boys. I have a 15

19:11

and a half and a 19 year old. And

19:13

I gained 60 pounds when I got pregnant with

19:15

each one of them, but I just would go

19:17

back to what I was doing,

19:20

eating small, frequent meals, but

19:22

then overeating on the weekend. So it

19:24

ended up balancing out for about

19:26

six years. And then I went back

19:29

up around 2013. I

19:31

gained about 50 of the pounds back. And

19:33

one of the things that you always, that you say, Heather,

19:35

that as I reflect,

19:37

I didn't get it all back just a little bit,

19:40

but it was still a lot and a little bit embarrassing.

19:42

And so I stopped going out as much

19:44

when I gained that weight. And

19:47

that probably was for six years. I would

19:49

bounce back about 20 to 30 pounds. So

19:52

I would go between like 175 and

19:54

I'd go up to 210 around the holidays

19:56

and I'd come back down. And

19:58

then in 2019,

19:59

In 2018, Heather, I heard

20:02

you talk about the importance

20:05

of finding your maintenance calories.

20:07

I found your podcast and you talked about the importance

20:10

of maintenance calories and you

20:12

talk about finding a sustainable

20:14

way to eat. And that you said

20:16

it might take a little bit longer, but it would

20:19

be more sustainable. And

20:21

I listened to you for a very long time. I'm like, I

20:23

don't want to maintain. I want to lose. Don't

20:27

want to maintain. So I kept listening

20:29

to you, Heather,

20:29

but I didn't. It resonated,

20:32

but I didn't do it yet. I actually

20:34

first started with intuitive eating. I

20:36

know you talked about this too. I

20:39

did that, but I didn't

20:41

know what hunger was. I

20:43

found out. I didn't know my hunger signals

20:45

because I was just eating by the clock. It's

20:48

breakfast time. It's time to eat. It's noon is time

20:50

to eat. Oh, it's time for a snack. I didn't really

20:52

check into my hunger

20:55

signals. So doing that little, it

20:57

was just a year. I learned about being

20:59

hungry, eating to satisfied. But

21:02

what I also learned Heather is I wasn't

21:04

eating enough. When I look at the calories

21:06

I was eating, when I did,

21:08

when I lost 120 pounds, I was probably eating

21:10

between 900 to 1200 calories, right? Regularly

21:14

during the week, which is not enough, you know?

21:17

And then when I was checking my calories later,

21:19

this is after you, I've learned

21:22

that I was eating maybe 12 to 1300. And

21:25

I lost about 20 pounds Heather,

21:27

but I didn't feel like it was sustainable.

21:30

I wasn't eating a lot of food and I

21:32

like to eat. And I said, I cannot live like

21:34

this. I can't live like this. I need

21:37

to eat food. Because I was eating

21:38

like these small amounts and I'm like, well, I

21:40

think I'm full. I'm not sure. And

21:42

I was like, I just need to try Heather's way. This

21:45

is not working. I need to figure out a way to

21:47

sustain it. So that's when I actually joined

21:50

the community, Heather, when I

21:52

realized I couldn't just do this intuitive thing, because

21:54

it just didn't feel like it was sustainable

21:56

for me.

21:58

And one of the things that

22:00

you say is

22:03

you need to find there's an achievable weight and

22:05

a maintainable weight and that always

22:07

that really resonated with me that you

22:09

need to find something that will work with

22:12

your lifestyle you

22:14

know if you like to go out

22:16

to dinner every now and again you need to

22:19

figure that out that needs to be part of your

22:21

plan and what I really

22:23

learned was I can't follow someone

22:26

else's plan it needs to

22:28

be my plan yep yeah

22:30

it almost sounds like as I hear you recap

22:33

a lot of this like what you were doing with the six-week

22:35

body makeover right you gleamed

22:37

a lot of good habits from that that's why

22:40

you kept that 50-pound weight gain

22:42

to just 50 pounds you might have been doing

22:44

that four or five days out of the week but

22:46

then you had the other couple days where you were eating

22:49

what

22:49

you wanted or trying to be social and having

22:51

a life and so that's where maybe a 50

22:53

pound shift happened and then you go

22:56

to intuitive eating and you're like okay I don't even know

22:58

when I'm hungry or full so let me try this for a

23:00

year and see how that works and then you

23:02

come back to okay now how do I bring

23:05

all this kind of knowledge I have together

23:07

to create my own plan and so like

23:10

if you were to say at this point how would

23:12

you define your plan like what does that look like for

23:14

you

23:15

well one of the things I've learned and

23:17

this is again all the stuff that I've learned through the

23:19

half-size community and listening to you

23:22

Heather is I

23:24

really

23:25

learned about

23:26

parking my car and not

23:29

you know putting it in reverse and other

23:31

reasons why I wanted to do

23:33

this with you today Heather is I don't want

23:35

people to wait as long as

23:37

I did to actually listen listen to

23:40

you I mean I know that everything that

23:42

I've done along this journey has gotten me

23:44

to where I am today but if I just would have

23:46

started with listening to your

23:48

advice I could have been where I am

23:50

now three years ago yeah

23:53

but well can I just ask you one question because

23:55

I think this is super important you're very intelligent

23:57

woman I can tell so with the knowledge

23:59

you

23:59

have now. When you look back

24:02

at that time that you are really struggling,

24:04

like you're like, okay, what she's saying sounds

24:06

logical, but it doesn't apply

24:08

to me at this point, having digested

24:11

hopefully more of the content, have

24:13

you kind of assessed maybe why

24:16

that happened? Like, was it a lack of your

24:18

prefrontal cortex being educated

24:20

and knowing, okay, know what she's saying makes logical sense?

24:22

Or would you say it's at this point, maybe more lower

24:24

brain chatter that you were falling victim to?

24:27

Lower

24:27

brain chatter that I was falling victim

24:30

to, I wanted it all fast. I kept remembering,

24:32

I did this in six months, I lost

24:35

all this weight in six months, why can't I figure

24:37

this out?

24:38

And I also have learned

24:40

that I cannot lose weight.

24:43

And this is again from us learning about the lower

24:45

brain and you know, all the stuff that you teach us about

24:47

the part of our brain that's making decisions

24:49

consciously and then the stuff that's happening

24:52

in the back end, our caveman brain. I

24:55

would say there's an emotional

24:57

component to weight loss. I don't think

24:59

we recognize and have to

25:02

understand you can't lose

25:04

weight from a place of hate. You

25:06

have to lose weight from a place

25:09

of love. You're not doing it

25:11

because you hate your body, but you're doing it because

25:13

of how you want to feel. I

25:16

feel so much

25:18

more confident. I am

25:20

not worried about ever going back.

25:23

Just all the things that

25:25

may have caused you to overeat though,

25:27

I would say those of us who like to eat do

25:30

it for emotional reasons and all the

25:32

emotions, right? Happy, sad, upset.

25:35

But what you've taught us is that

25:37

it all takes some planning.

25:39

Knowing what your calorie range

25:41

is very helpful because it allows you, I'd

25:44

never known Heather, that you could want

25:47

to know your calories, that you could kind

25:49

of plan out your day or your week. One

25:51

of the things that I do is I plan out my week. So if

25:53

I know something is happening on the weekend or

25:55

even in the middle of the week, I can modulate

25:57

how I'm eating so I don't go over.

25:59

back to parking the car.

26:02

I know how to park my car. I either was

26:04

losing weight or gaining weight. And now I

26:06

know there's a middle ground. I can just

26:08

stay here for a minute, which is where

26:10

I am now in maintenance.

26:12

I decided at a certain weight to

26:15

maintain this for a while, which I've never done,

26:17

Heather. And this is because of you. I'm

26:19

maintaining between 165 and 170 for a good year. My

26:23

ultimate weight is 155, but I'm maintaining.

26:26

I've been maintaining since

26:28

January without a problem. And

26:30

I've never had a weight range before.

26:33

And just knowing that you're not supposed

26:35

to be one weight for an extended period of time, that

26:37

your weight fluctuates, that that's okay. And

26:40

that you just want to stay between those points. And

26:42

then you also taught us about minimum,

26:45

basic, and preferred. So if something

26:47

is going on at work, I know

26:49

if I can't do some of my preferred, if

26:51

I can do my minimum, I know I'm not going to gain any

26:53

weight. And I never had my

26:56

food plan or health plan broken

26:58

out in that way before so that I can,

27:01

like you say, park the car and not

27:04

go backwards. And it just was really life-changing.

27:06

The other thing that was life-changing for me,

27:09

Heather, that you shared with us is protein.

27:11

I never paid attention to my protein. And

27:14

upping my protein just made me more

27:17

satisfied with my food. And

27:19

I didn't need to overeat. And

27:22

compensatory eating was something else that you taught

27:24

us that if you wait to eat,

27:26

your body is going to make up for it

27:28

later at night. And by

27:30

spacing out my food more and not

27:33

letting myself get hungry,

27:35

I don't have that problem anymore. I

27:37

love that. And there's something I want to highlight here

27:39

because I feel like in the nutrition

27:42

space, there's a huge divide. There's like,

27:44

you're in this camp or you're in this camp. And

27:47

if you don't agree with me, I'm going to argue this

27:49

point with you. And I see that a lot. And

27:51

I think it's interesting that you chose intuitive

27:53

eating for a year, but now you're coming back

27:55

to this idea that, okay, I take my calories,

27:58

I kind of average them out over time. But

28:01

I see that you used intuitive eating for

28:03

a good purpose. You said, I want to understand

28:05

more about my hunger and folding signals. And

28:07

I know I need to kind of focus on that for

28:09

a while. But I look at it like in our

28:11

food culture that we live in here

28:14

in the United States with highly palatable

28:16

food available everywhere, ginormous

28:19

portions, that we're kind of in

28:21

an environment that's strictly

28:23

adhering to something like intuitive eating

28:25

where all foods are okay can be kind of

28:27

problematic. I see a lot of people gain weight from

28:29

doing it for a time period. What

28:32

are your thoughts on that now, reflecting

28:34

on it and like kind of knowing what you know now

28:36

that you're on the other side of that? I think

28:38

the challenge for me for intuitive

28:41

eating, again, was not knowing right,

28:44

my hunger and satisfaction. And

28:46

there is no discussion around nutrition. You

28:49

can just eat whatever you want.

28:51

And because I'm taking a look at nutrition

28:53

now, I actually have more energy than I

28:55

had before, because while

28:58

you're losing weight and you share this with the community,

29:00

too, there's some scaffolding that

29:02

goes on. And what I mean, scaffolding is that you have

29:04

to start from where you are. So if you're intuitive

29:07

eating and you are eating

29:09

McDonald's or Burger King or pizza, it's

29:11

okay as long as you're hungry and you stop when you're

29:14

satisfied. But when you're trying

29:16

to lose weight and you're

29:18

someone like me that likes volume, you

29:21

have

29:21

to pay attention to nutritional value

29:23

as well. And foods that you can

29:25

eat at a

29:26

higher volume, but low calories that fit

29:28

into your lifestyle. And

29:30

I just think that there has to be some

29:33

education around nutrition,

29:34

food quality

29:37

and calories. I still

29:39

eat.

29:40

And I know, Heather, I'm giving you a lot of you've

29:42

taught me a lot. One of the times I posted in

29:44

the community, I asked this question and

29:46

you talked about on one of our webinars. I

29:48

said, I have a problem about eating popcorn at night

29:51

sometimes in front of the TV and how

29:53

can I stop doing that? And you said, well, why do you have

29:56

to stop doing that? I was like,

29:58

well, you're not supposed to eat it. You're like, well,

30:00

why not? I eat popcorn

30:02

now, you know, in the middle of the week.

30:06

I know it's funny, but I just was always,

30:08

you know, you, over the years, you learn that

30:11

there are rules for losing

30:13

weight. And I guess what I really

30:15

want to share is that there are no rules. You've

30:17

taught us our bodies of science

30:19

experiment in the community. Everyone

30:21

does different things. There are no, if you're keto,

30:24

if you're Weight Watchers, I didn't mention that

30:26

I did try Weight Watchers too. I did

30:28

that one.

30:29

There are no rules. You

30:32

are a unique individual and

30:34

you need to figure out what works for your body.

30:36

I might go back, Heather, to Intuitive

30:39

Eating, where I'm not tracking. I don't know. I

30:41

may be like you and have to track for the rest of my life,

30:43

which is okay. I don't mind that. But

30:45

I think you have to learn some, I don't

30:48

want to say rules, but you have to learn your body

30:51

first because it took me,

30:53

you know, a while to

30:55

do the calories just to figure out what works

30:57

with my body. And I just, we're just a big experiment.

31:00

I think you need to be okay with knowing that. You

31:02

don't have to follow someone else's plan. You need to follow

31:04

your plan, what works for you and your body. And

31:07

as we've talked about in the community too, as you

31:09

age and things change, so do the

31:11

plans. And so, you know,

31:13

your body is constantly throwing changes

31:16

on you without, without your consent. And so

31:18

what works for you right now, to your point, maybe

31:20

five years from now, you're doing something slightly tweaked

31:23

from this and that's working better. That's

31:25

why we also say like this is not an off

31:28

ramp. Like you're not going to just all of a sudden, okay,

31:30

one day I can just, you know, forget about all this. No,

31:33

you kind of are going to have to, you know, keep

31:35

working with it a little bit in some regard

31:37

because nothing stays stagnant. Everything

31:40

is constantly changing. And it's never

31:42

ending. This is for life. But

31:44

I know we call it a diet, but your diet really

31:46

is just what you eat every day. And, you

31:49

know, and we're on this journey for

31:51

a life. And I'm understanding that now

31:53

working, you know, with you

31:55

in the community, it's really, it's a lifelong

31:57

journey.

31:58

And Heather, when I was trying to,

31:59

to lose weight before and even when I

32:02

first started in the community I was eating between

32:04

I would say 1200 to 1600 calories and in the community there are so

32:08

many people they're eating you know 23, 2500 calories I had

32:10

a little envy there

32:13

I'm like I can't eat that much food

32:16

and not gain weight I thought

32:19

until I got into maintenance and

32:21

I was eating between 16 and 1800 Heather and still losing

32:25

weight and I'm like this is

32:27

strange why am I still losing because I really want to maintain

32:30

and I started lifting weights heavier

32:32

again that's something you talk about as well

32:35

Heather I eat 2200 calories

32:37

now I think I can still bump it up some more

32:39

I'm just a little scared and I'm still

32:41

staying between 165 and 170 I'm

32:43

still like in the middle of that range eating 2200

32:47

calories I have never in

32:49

my life

32:50

eaten that much food

32:53

purposefully right now I know

32:57

but before whenever I tried

32:59

to lose weight it was on this low calorie

33:02

diet

33:03

and

33:04

I'm just eating so much more food

33:06

I have so much more energy more clarity

33:09

more focus it's just it's really

33:11

life-changing yeah now this

33:14

isn't about wait for me anymore

33:16

this

33:16

translates into how you live and how

33:19

you feel you know

33:20

groceries are better

33:22

carrying in groceries just regular everyday

33:25

movement it just changes your quality

33:27

of life I just want to share this

33:29

thought that came to me as you were saying that so

33:31

I see it as you're on this road of self

33:33

exploration there was so many things

33:36

you felt fearful and resistant

33:38

to doing but the more that

33:40

you've relaxed into it and you've allowed

33:43

yourself to try different things like you

33:45

know realizing now you can eat 2200 where that thought would

33:48

have been terrifying at some point

33:50

you'd been like oh my god that's never gonna happen

33:53

and but here's what's interesting this

33:56

is the obstacle if I told

33:58

you I think your maintenance is 2200 go eat

34:00

at that. Most people freak out. They say,

34:02

no, I'm not going to do it. But to your

34:04

point, you said, I don't think I've ever eaten that

34:06

much, but you had to have because

34:08

you had weighed over 275 pounds. So

34:11

without fail, you were eating at some point

34:14

over 2,200 calories. But

34:16

because we don't write it down, because

34:18

you weren't obsessively going out to eat with your husband

34:20

and say, okay, I had one hamburger, a cup

34:23

and a half of fries. You have no, no

34:25

knowledge. You never saw a number in front

34:27

of you that said today was a 4,000 calorie day. So

34:30

there's no point of comparison. And

34:32

that's the power of actually

34:35

documenting and being somewhat

34:37

aware of what's really happening is

34:39

then you can come back and say, well, yeah, I now

34:41

see why I gained weight. I was eating an average

34:44

of three, 4,000 calories a day. And

34:46

now my maintenance is 2,200. Like that

34:48

makes logical sense, but we don't record that information.

34:50

We don't have it. So when we go to make these changes,

34:53

we're having to kind of do this little bit of leap of faith

34:56

and test it out. And I think that's where the community

34:58

is really helpful because you're

35:01

not the only maintainer that's terrified

35:03

of finding her maintenance calories, but doing

35:05

it by yourself versus doing it with other people

35:08

you can converse with and say, does this

35:10

look right to you? I mean, people share screenshots

35:12

of stuff all the time. What do you think about this? Getting

35:15

that little bit of feedback can be the thing

35:17

that releases the fear to do the

35:20

self exploration.

35:21

I would agree a hundred percent. One of the

35:23

benefits of being part of the community

35:26

is I know I'm not weird.

35:28

I'm just going to let that rest there for a minute. Everyone

35:31

has the same problem. I

35:33

would say I was never really a binger,

35:36

but I can overeat. And

35:39

you know what I mean? Like have three bowls of

35:41

like big popcorn.

35:43

But you know that everyone shares

35:45

a similar

35:47

understanding

35:49

of the struggle that we all have.

35:52

And it's a place of non-judgment

35:54

and people share, here are some things

35:56

you might want to try. We share regularly.

36:00

You know what we're doing. I

36:02

Have ebbs and flows how much I

36:04

share sometimes. I'm just a warrior. I'm actually in the community

36:07

every day I don't post every day, but I'm always

36:09

on there because you can see everyone's story and

36:11

what's happening It's very helpful

36:14

to know that you're not on this journey by yourself.

36:17

You're not strange There are other people that

36:19

have the same issues that you have and

36:21

the other benefit I think I shared a little bit earlier

36:24

is we're all doing it a little

36:26

bit differently But

36:27

we're all on the same journey and it's okay

36:30

and there is no judgment There is no anyone

36:33

thinking badly when you make them I want to say

36:35

a mistake when you overeat

36:37

because I still overeat Heather,

36:39

but the difference is I don't do it blindly

36:42

I still track I might have

36:44

a 3,000 calorie day,

36:46

but it's gonna be in there I'm gonna know

36:48

and I'm and I track it and I think that's what's important.

36:51

You're not wrong You just need to I

36:54

find that this journey is about reflection. We

36:56

need to be okay with

36:58

Doing something that we hadn't planned but reflecting

37:00

on it and then revising and saying hey How

37:02

can I do that different next time if

37:04

I'm upset with someone and I

37:07

eat over it? What could I do differently? Oh, maybe

37:09

next time I'll go for a walk or maybe I'll go do

37:11

a puzzle But just that reflection

37:13

I

37:14

think is just really been a game changer.

37:17

Our journey isn't just about weight It's really

37:19

about our minds and how we react to

37:21

things and I do think that

37:23

some of us that do have a weight challenge

37:26

that we use food as our coping mechanism

37:28

and

37:30

That's visible to the world other people

37:32

do other things to cope But our coping

37:34

mechanism is visible you can see when

37:36

someone has some extra weight We can't hide

37:39

it and you can't food is always available

37:41

Unlike other vices that you could just stay away

37:43

from you can't stay away from food And

37:46

so being with common people with the common challenges

37:49

is very helpful We'll see that I will need

37:51

it for the rest of my life just to have that community

37:53

there To help and it's just been

37:55

a game changer. It really has. Yeah,

37:58

and if I could like tattoo on

37:59

everyone's forehead so they see it every morning

38:02

when they wake up, it would be, what can I

38:04

learn from that? That's really

38:06

the catch phrase that I would want people

38:09

to just cement into their mind

38:11

because every single thing you

38:13

do, you overate today, what can I learn from

38:16

that? Popcorn at night, what can I learn

38:18

from that? How many calories am I supposed to be, what

38:20

can I learn from that? If you make your mission to learn

38:22

and not judge, and

38:25

that's really where I see there being a huge issue

38:27

with this entire thing, it's like everybody's very judgmental

38:29

of themselves, very self-critical. But

38:32

when you shut down and you become judgmental

38:34

and critical of yourself, you shut down your

38:36

ability to learn and to understand

38:39

and to test things and see what happens.

38:42

And that to me is where the magic

38:44

is. If you can get to a place where you're

38:46

a constant student of yourself and

38:48

life and what's going on, then

38:51

you can only get better and improve over

38:53

time. But if you're judging and you're critical, you're

38:55

never looking at those things because

38:57

you're so harsh that you can't make

38:59

improvements.

38:59

I mean, what do you see around that?

39:02

I agree. I think so much back to

39:04

not doing it from a place of hate, but

39:06

understanding back to that science experiment

39:10

that it's okay, we're all human,

39:12

we're going to do things that we didn't plan. But

39:15

what can you do next time? If you think about

39:17

when you went to school, we all didn't

39:19

start off being able to read. We made mistakes.

39:21

We

39:21

were learning our ABCs or counting

39:24

or math, but we had to

39:26

reflect on it and see what

39:28

we did wrong and make those changes. And

39:30

I think the same thing happens with this journey.

39:32

And we can't be mad

39:34

at ourselves when that happens

39:37

because it's going to happen even now.

39:39

And I think you share this in the community too. And

39:42

even on your podcast, we all

39:44

do things that we didn't plan and you can't

39:46

beat yourself up over it back to

39:48

you can't do this from a place of hate. You

39:50

have to do it from a place of love. Okay,

39:53

yep, I did it. We're moving on.

39:55

What we're going to do the next best

39:57

step. And I think the other thing

39:59

Heather,

39:59

is, no rush. I

40:02

think what took me so long is because you do talk

40:04

about maintenance, find your maintenance, and everyone wants

40:06

to lose. But if

40:08

I were just done this two years ago,

40:11

the way that you said I would have been where

40:13

I wanted to be earlier, that

40:15

time is going to pass anyway.

40:17

So take the time to reflect

40:20

and make it your plan because there is no

40:22

rush, time is going to pass.

40:24

And like you say, you're never starting over.

40:26

I hear that a lot. Oh, I'm gonna start over on Monday.

40:28

You're never starting over. Every

40:31

step that's got me to where I am now

40:34

was a learning experience. I know you

40:36

say, no, I think it's something like no man

40:38

can step in the same water twice

40:40

because it's always moving. Yeah.

40:43

So just learn and keep going.

40:45

You're never starting over because starting over means

40:48

you're wiping the plate clean, but you

40:50

can't wipe away what you've already learned. And

40:52

the other thing is don't

40:54

say, well, I did this because I was saying

40:56

that, right? Oh, the six-week body makeover worked for

40:58

me before, but did it.

41:01

If it did, I would have stayed that way. So what

41:03

did I need to learn that didn't work for me there

41:05

so I can do something different. And

41:07

on the flip side, this is what I would say, some

41:09

of what you learned did work because you

41:12

gained 50 of the pounds back. So that's

41:14

what I was saying earlier. Like some of what you

41:16

learned, you were obviously applying it enough

41:19

during the week that you only gained 50

41:22

of the pounds back. It could have been all of it

41:24

because you just totally disregarded everything. And

41:26

that's why I always say, you know, go back

41:29

to your past and say, what's working

41:31

for me? And you probably would have noticed maybe

41:33

it was weekends and social get-togethers. This approach

41:36

does not work for me in this context. So now

41:38

I need to figure something else out. And

41:41

when I hear what you're saying about, you know, this

41:43

no rush concept, I love that. And

41:45

I think where we really struggle as

41:47

humans is being okay,

41:50

knowing that we need to make a change and

41:53

sitting with the discomfort of being resistant

41:55

to it. So like in this last week's

41:57

podcast, somebody had said, you know, I think

42:00

what I used to do isn't working. I think I'm

42:02

eating too many processed foods. I think

42:05

I need to eat more whole foods, but I'm really, I

42:07

could tell from the way it was written, she

42:09

was very resistant to that. And I said, you

42:11

sound like you know the answer and when you're

42:13

ready to do it, you'll do it, but

42:16

you don't have to force yourself. Like you can

42:18

stay where you are 15, 20 pounds heavier

42:21

until you're ready to make that change. But it's

42:23

like, we feel like, cause we know deep down inside,

42:25

we should do it a different way or we think it's gonna produce

42:27

a better outcome. We got a demand

42:30

that we change right then. But sometimes

42:32

you have to soften to it and be okay with

42:34

it. Like it took you what, two years you said before

42:36

you were really ready to embrace it, you heard

42:38

it, but you weren't ready to embrace it. But then when you did, it all

42:41

clicked. Who's to say that wasn't

42:43

the right timeline for you?

42:45

I know Heather, but I could have looked much better

42:47

earlier. But I just thought

42:49

it was so stubborn,

42:51

you know? Yeah,

42:53

yeah. So it's

42:55

just amazing to me. We're not,

42:57

at least in my family, and my parents

43:00

are amazing, but they didn't have the problem

43:02

that I had. And I probably

43:04

took nutritional classes, but I just, how

43:07

did I not know you're not supposed to eat when you're

43:09

hungry? I know we just never had that conversation. We

43:11

just ate by the clock. And I just think there's so

43:13

much knowledge. And sometimes there's too much

43:15

right out there. Well, which one should I do? Which one's

43:17

right? Cause everyone sounds convincing.

43:21

That's why you gotta find your own plan.

43:22

If you want to eat meat all day long

43:25

and you feel good, it can't be just

43:27

about your weight, but it also has to be about how you feel. Do

43:29

it.

43:30

Do it. But

43:32

you have to find what works for you. Absolutely. And

43:34

I'm just curious. It's something I'm kind of curious

43:36

about. So you had that lower brain chatter

43:39

for that time period. No, no, no. I lost this

43:41

weight in six months doing this program. I

43:44

should be able to do it. We've talked about that

43:46

a lot in videos and materials that

43:48

we've covered about how the brain does that. It

43:50

goes to the past to explain why things should be a certain way

43:53

now. But as you dive more

43:55

and more into your thinking, how

43:57

do you see your lower brain chatter

43:59

showing up?

43:59

for you even now, like how

44:02

does it show up on a weekly daily basis

44:04

and how are you working on that? Cause I can see

44:07

for long-term maintenance and even in your

44:09

case, I know you want to lose a little bit more. I know people

44:12

contend with that a lot. So how's

44:14

that been impacting

44:15

your journey? So one

44:17

of the things that I've learned that is my

44:20

biggest challenge is nighttime eating Heather.

44:22

And when I've had a stressful situation,

44:25

whether it's something with the kiddos

44:28

or something at work, I

44:30

tend to go to food. And

44:33

when my

44:34

lower brain serves that up as an option,

44:37

I say, I

44:38

don't need that right now. You don't

44:40

need that. Just go for a walk. You're not

44:42

hungry. You know, you've eaten, just

44:44

go for a walk. And I find that if I give

44:46

myself five to 10 minutes, when my lower brain

44:49

is serving up,

44:50

what would be my dopamine hit, something yummy.

44:53

I just go for a walk and by the time I come back,

44:55

I usually don't want it anymore. And

44:58

if I do, I have

44:59

my protein first Heather, like you said,

45:02

I'll have a piece of protein first. And then by then I

45:04

don't want whatever was going to be highly palatable

45:07

that I was going for. So that's

45:09

one way. And the other thing

45:12

back to me wanting to maintain and

45:14

then maybe drop another 10 was

45:16

back to something that, I

45:18

know I keep referencing you Heather, but you're always playing

45:20

in my head. So I apologize for always

45:23

referencing things that you say, but

45:26

I need to understand that

45:28

achievable weight versus a maintainable

45:30

weight. I'm actually smaller at

45:32

the weight that I am now than I was at 155 earlier.

45:36

I'm assuming probably because of the weightlifting. So

45:39

I may not need to be there. My goal now

45:41

is more around healthy lifestyle.

45:44

And so that's when something comes up,

45:46

that's what I say to myself.

45:48

We're working on health. This is not about size.

45:51

It's about health. It's about strength. It's about

45:53

functionality. So when

45:55

I get that chatter in the back of my head, oh, you could

45:57

drop another 10 pounds. Well, do I

45:59

really? need to. I'm fine where I am right

46:01

now. I'm healthy. I'm doing everything I want

46:03

to do. I can go eat and

46:06

hang out with my friends and not gain weight.

46:09

When I used to go out, Heather, I would automatically

46:11

gain, I would say five pounds whenever I

46:13

went out, but that's because I was eating so low

46:15

calorie and I'd have all those carbs and drinking

46:17

or whatever and I'd gain a bunch of weight. Now

46:19

I go out, I'm gonna gain a half a pound when

46:22

I go out and that's, you know, being enjoying

46:24

myself.

46:26

And it's just, I don't have as much tatters

46:28

I used to, but when I do have it, I have

46:31

those, I have another goal right now. My goal

46:33

is health, not size. And

46:35

that's always helpful. To break down what

46:38

I think I hear, because obviously

46:40

a lot of people at the end of the day, your

46:42

thinking is what drives your behaviors.

46:45

So if you're defaulting to that lower brain chatter

46:47

and you're believing what you're hearing, you're

46:49

going to constantly fall in the same pit over and

46:51

over and over again. And like you mentioned, you said

46:53

it used to be stressful stuff for you and then

46:55

you would go and you get

46:56

those highly palatable foods. But it sounds like

46:58

what you did is you created like first an awareness.

47:00

You became aware of your particular

47:03

situations where it tends to flare up the

47:05

most. And then you put in a protocol

47:08

for yourself. You're like, no, I hear it chatting

47:10

at me. I know it's going to recommend that, but I'm going

47:12

to go for this five, 10 minute walk and then I'll reassess

47:14

when I get back. So you built in a better

47:17

response to that. And then I also

47:19

hear the chatter around, let's, let's

47:21

do this thing with our body weight and

47:24

you have clearly written out your goals

47:26

and

47:26

you're constantly reflecting on that. Every time

47:28

you hear it, you're talking back and saying, well, wait

47:30

a minute, we're focusing on health, strength,

47:33

functionality, all these factors.

47:35

And weight is not my primary

47:38

focus. And with your lower brain, because

47:40

it is a habitual brain, because

47:42

it literally that's its whole purpose is

47:45

to keep habits alive. It is

47:48

going to just keep coming at you with the same

47:50

thing over and over again. And it's

47:52

typically not super original in its delivery.

47:55

So that repetitiveness of you having to

47:57

reply the way you do is a necessity.

47:59

because it's going to constantly be

48:02

the same way. And so it sounds

48:04

like you've gotten to a much better place just by having

48:06

some kind of go-to things that you do in

48:08

response to it. I do, yep, yep,

48:11

my response plan. The other thing that

48:13

I do too with nighttime is,

48:15

I just have to go to bed.

48:17

I said, nothing good happens after nine o'clock. Yes.

48:21

Yeah, so I'll go, you know, sometimes I'll just

48:23

go to bed too, unless it's the weekend,

48:25

but that's always helpful. But having protocols

48:27

to respond to your lower brain, yes, is

48:30

very, very, very helpful. And we

48:32

learn a lot of that in the community,

48:33

Heather, with the materials that you share

48:35

with us. It's just,

48:36

I would encourage anyone that's

48:39

had a long-term issue with weight,

48:41

just join the community. Everyone is

48:43

helpful. You can post your questions. Heather

48:46

does regular webinars. It's just, I

48:48

think I'm gonna be a lifetime member, Heather. I'm just

48:50

gonna say that. It's just, I

48:52

am no longer in fear

48:54

of having

48:57

to lose 30 pounds again. I

48:59

really am very confident that

49:02

I've got this down. I'm not in the least bit

49:04

worried at all.

49:06

And if I decide to lose another 10, or

49:08

if I just stay where I am,

49:11

I'm not worried about going back.

49:13

What you have shared with me

49:15

has given me, and my

49:17

willingness to accept it and try it, I'll

49:19

own some of that too, has just

49:22

made such a difference in my life,

49:24

not only just my life, even my family's

49:27

life. My kiddos

49:28

see what I'm doing, and they

49:31

are learning as well, which

49:34

just is gonna be like a, it's just

49:36

a gift that's gonna continue

49:38

for the family because of the things that I've

49:40

learned. So I just wanna say

49:42

thank you for that. That is amazing. And that's

49:45

what I love hearing, actually. I love seeing that

49:47

with my one-on-one coaching clients too, where they

49:49

learn something, and then it affects their eight-year-old

49:51

daughter in a positive way, or having

49:54

a positive impact on their teenage kids.

49:57

And that's the thing, it's like, when you change,

49:59

When you truly change and become more at ease

50:02

with yourself and you're not fearful

50:04

and you're in a much better headspace,

50:07

other people pick up on that. And

50:09

then all of a sudden they might come to you and want

50:11

to discuss things or at least be more receptive

50:13

to the changes you're making. So you

50:15

doing all that is amazing because it helps

50:17

other generations too. It's like it's just,

50:19

it keeps rippling out. And then

50:22

here's where I'm curious. So based

50:24

on, you've taken in so much information.

50:26

You've done so many collective things

50:29

and you've kind of created your

50:31

own plan. If I could send you

50:33

back to that you maybe that was getting

50:35

married and looking for something to

50:37

do or maybe

50:39

even a slightly older version of you that was

50:42

going to have kids and looking for something to do, what

50:44

would be do you think like the core

50:47

nuggets that you would want to share

50:49

with her that you think would

50:51

help expedite things, make it an

50:53

easier transition, favor some time

50:56

because there's somebody listening to this today

50:59

that maybe is in that place

51:01

and hearing what would have been the most valuable

51:03

for you to have known might be helpful for them.

51:06

I would say understand what you're doing

51:08

right now. If I would have taken the time

51:11

to learn the

51:12

amount I was eating at that time

51:14

would

51:15

have been very helpful.

51:18

Learning that I don't need to kill

51:20

myself

51:21

exercising to get where I need to be.

51:24

I used to spend hours, Heather,

51:26

hours

51:27

doing cardio. I did weights but

51:30

the little like weights, right? Like the two, five, 10

51:32

pounds and now I'm like doing 50

51:35

pound bicep curls. You know? That's

51:37

awesome. Yeah, but you don't have to kill yourself

51:39

working out to get to where you need to be.

51:42

You don't have to do that.

51:44

Focus on your food

51:46

and knowing where you are and make small

51:48

sustainable changes over time and

51:51

that way you can keep it off

51:53

and it'll be okay. I'd also

51:55

tell her

51:56

you're okay where you are now. do

52:00

it from a place of I have to,

52:02

do it from a place of I get

52:05

to, I want to.

52:06

And I would tell her, don't say I can't have

52:09

it because you can have whatever you want. You're

52:12

choosing

52:13

not to have it

52:14

for whatever reason, but you can have whatever

52:17

you want, but it may not get you to your

52:19

goal. So change your language.

52:21

We can do whatever we want. We're doing it because

52:24

we want to, not because we have to. I

52:26

would tell her that. When you and I did have

52:28

that conversation about the popcorn

52:30

and like, why does it have to be a thing? How

52:33

did that impact your popcorn

52:35

issue? And like, where are you now with it versus

52:37

then?

52:38

Oh, I fit it in. I just fit it

52:40

in. If I decide I want to have it, I plan

52:43

for it. And it's okay. I even

52:45

have a, you know, we have this whole

52:47

ice cream thing that we've all learned how

52:50

to make ice cream. So I fit ice cream

52:52

in too. And it's back to

52:54

you can fit in. I can't have it every day.

52:57

I've learned that I can't have it every day. I can

52:59

have it two, three times a week, whether it's the popcorn

53:01

or if I make some yogurt or, you

53:03

know, or ice cream, you can fit in

53:06

things that you want. You don't have to deprive

53:08

yourself. You don't have to wait to the, that's the other

53:10

thing I would do Heather. I used to wait to the weekend to have

53:12

that stuff. Like, oh, I can't have it during the week. Why can't

53:15

I have it during the week? What makes Saturday

53:17

so special? It's happening on

53:19

Tuesday. So I just fit

53:21

it in. I fit in fast food, not

53:23

all the time, but I fit it in. Planning

53:26

is important, right? And that

53:28

minimum basic and preferred has been

53:30

a game changer for me as well when I'm traveling.

53:33

I used to gain 10 pounds. When I go on vacation,

53:35

I just got back from Granada. I

53:37

only gained four pounds. I didn't really get the first

53:40

three. And then I was like, I decided I wanted,

53:42

you know, some more drinks or whatever,

53:44

but it was four pounds compared to 10, you know,

53:47

in previous years. And it was gone by the end

53:49

of the week. I know you tell us to wait a couple

53:51

days, but I'm glutton

53:53

for punishment. So I checked when I forgot to scut

53:55

back, but it was off by the end of the week. And so it sounds

53:58

like from what I just heard about the pop.

53:59

Maybe sounds to some people like, why

54:02

would you get all bunched up about that? But I see that

54:04

a lot. I mean, in the work I do,

54:06

people find this one food that they

54:08

have either heard somebody say it's not healthy

54:11

or you shouldn't eat at night or whatever

54:14

the rule is. And they get super

54:16

fixated on that one thing. And

54:19

usually I have to make them like kind of focus on it

54:21

for 30 days of like putting it in every day.

54:23

And then all of a sudden the magic of that food

54:25

falls away because they're having it every single

54:27

day. But there's like this drama

54:30

and pressure that builds up around

54:32

it that makes it hyper focus.

54:35

And then when you finally say, oh no, I can totally

54:37

fit it in. I can have it like I hear this lightness

54:39

in the way you say it and it's like not a big deal

54:41

anymore. I don't have to give it up. So and

54:44

you may even find sometimes you're willing

54:46

to say no to it because you can have it

54:48

whenever you want. And do you see that shift happening

54:51

for yourself to the more that you give permission

54:54

versus restrictiveness how

54:56

sometimes you soften and you don't even feel

54:58

as compulsive to eat those

54:59

things?

55:01

Absolutely Heather. Absolutely. Because

55:03

I will plan, you know, like one of those

55:05

crumble cookies for like a Saturday

55:08

or there are a couple of things that are in that category,

55:10

not just popcorn. I have that issue with peanut butter

55:12

and jelly sandwiches. There are a couple of things, pies,

55:15

you know, whatever. But

55:18

sometimes I'll plan it in and I'll get them like, I don't

55:20

really want it. I think I'll just go get some watermelon, right? I

55:22

mean, I just wanted something sweet. But it's because

55:24

I've given myself permission. I can

55:27

have whatever I want.

55:28

I'm choosing not to

55:30

right now.

55:31

I can I can have it later if I want to. I

55:33

think it just giving yourself the permission.

55:36

It's kind of like when you're a teenager like don't do

55:38

that. I'm gonna do it because someone told me I couldn't so

55:41

by giving yourself permission letting you know, it's

55:43

okay.

55:45

It just makes it so you don't feel like I'm

55:47

never going to have it again. So I need to eat as much as

55:49

I

55:49

can at this moment. But when you can have whatever

55:52

you want. There's no need. You can enjoy it like

55:54

I'm good. I mean, sometimes I don't even finish

55:56

a pie or a piece of cake because I've had enough, you know,

55:58

whenever I want.

55:59

So it's just a very light feeling.

56:02

It's just, the chains

56:04

have been taken off. I would say

56:06

that it's just a big relief. You know,

56:08

it really is.

56:09

I love it. Oh my gosh. Well, you my

56:11

dear have been amazing to talk

56:13

to. I've so thoroughly enjoyed everything

56:16

you shared with us. And I forgot to ask

56:18

you this at the beginning, but if our listeners wanted

56:20

to reach out to you, I know the community

56:22

members can tag you and whatnot. Do you

56:24

have a public Facebook page

56:26

or Instagram where you've shared any of your weight

56:29

stuff or do you have any way that you would mind

56:31

people submitting questions? They can always

56:33

email me and I could forward it on to you, but I didn't

56:35

know if there was another way you would want to promote for

56:38

the listeners.

56:39

Yeah, no, I'm very boring Heather.

56:41

Nope, I don't have any public Facebook,

56:44

Instagram, none of that. But I

56:46

always say community, if you're okay,

56:48

people can email you and I'll be happy to respond. But yeah,

56:51

no, I don't have anything public facing because

56:53

I'm just, I'm a boring, very boring mom. Yeah,

56:55

I would not be on Facebook if it wasn't for

56:58

half size me, but I have friends that are like, you never

57:00

posed anything. I say, yeah, I kind of like it that

57:02

way. I'm

57:05

in the community, I hang out in there, but

57:07

I'm not like, I would not really probably even be

57:09

out there doing that kind of stuff if it wasn't for

57:11

this particular venture. But yeah, I

57:13

totally get it. So yeah, no, thank you

57:15

so much. And if anybody does have any questions, they can always email

57:18

me and I will send them on to you. Sound good?

57:20

Yes, sounds great. And Heather, I could not,

57:22

I

57:23

know I said it in the beginning, but I just want, I

57:25

just really, I know it's a lot for you and probably

57:27

your family, but I'm just so thankful

57:29

that you chose to share your story and to do what you've

57:32

been doing for so, so many years.

57:34

I think I've heard you before and then I picked up

57:36

on you again. I just,

57:38

you're changing lives. I'm sure you've changed

57:41

so many lives. You've probably never even heard from people

57:43

before, but I just, you're

57:45

making a difference and I truly

57:47

appreciate you and I know the community does as well.

57:50

Thank you so much. That means the

57:52

world to me. And yes, I feel

57:54

like if nothing else by showing up consistently

57:56

and just saying, hey, you can do this, you can,

57:59

you can do this.

57:59

this in a sustainable way, that

58:02

it's proof, right? And that goes against

58:04

the argument that everybody gains the weight back.

58:06

And I don't think that helps anybody

58:08

because that's an unfortunate story

58:11

based on a bunch of hardcore diets that

58:13

never were gonna work to begin with. But habit

58:15

change and sustainable habit change over time,

58:18

that will work if you actually do it.

58:21

Thank you for listening. Be sure to visit

58:23

halfsizeme.com. Check back

58:26

often for your daily dose of inspiration

58:28

because you are worth

58:29

it. The information you hear on this podcast

58:32

is for informational purposes only. The

58:34

host is not a medical professional. You should

58:36

always consult with your doctor, nurse, or

58:38

other certified health professional before beginning

58:41

any diet or fitness program.