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episode number 377

1:02

where I had the opportunity to

1:04

interview Connie about how she had

1:07

gained weight as a newlywed How

1:09

her mind and habits had had to

1:11

evolve and how to revamp her favorite

1:13

foods to enjoy them more often This

1:15

was a really good episode. I think

1:17

you're gonna really enjoy it And again,

1:20

I would encourage you if

1:22

you enjoy the show you say hey Heather

1:24

Thank you so much for keeping this show

1:26

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half size me comm/ Ladies.

2:06

And gentlemen, I have a wonderful treat for

2:08

you today. I haven't this Connie on the

2:11

line. She's a half size Me community member

2:13

and she has graciously come on today to

2:15

share her weight loss story. Connie, Would you

2:17

like to say hello to everyone. Hi

2:20

everybody! It's great to be on here.

2:22

Aren't. So Carney you and I have

2:24

had a chance to talk one on one

2:26

you know of course even in the community

2:28

and even sharing but the lizards with might

2:31

be the very first exposure to you So

2:33

wish you my maybe taking us back a

2:35

little ways in your past and sharing with

2:37

us one was the first memory or thought

2:39

that you had that maybe you. Were having

2:41

a problem with body weight or body image.

2:45

That would have been my teenage years.

2:47

Probably about I'd say probably fourteen or

2:49

fifteen years of what if the years

2:51

of age I was in the marching

2:53

band at school. And my mom helped

2:56

with the uniforms every year. And

2:58

so basically they would kind of anybody that

3:00

with new in the band would have to

3:02

be said of her uniform Anybody that has

3:05

been in the band for a while. Of

3:07

each year they got fit it again to

3:09

make sure he now. Of

3:12

course he know different things happen

3:14

with your body and that year.

3:16

I was trying on my uniform

3:19

and it was snug. And

3:22

I can't remember for sure. yes,

3:24

but I'm guessing. That probably had

3:26

to get another uniform unless they had

3:28

taken that uniform up and you know,

3:30

could let it out a little bit.

3:33

but that was com my first memory

3:35

of having. A. Problem because.

3:37

Really? Before that? When.

3:40

I was little. I was pretty

3:42

skinny, you know, and and. Was.

3:44

Well active, So that

3:47

was the first recollection and during that time

3:49

period. Do you remember? Was there any discussion

3:51

about putting you. On and dying or

3:53

going to focus on we officer.

3:55

Was that not an issue at that time? I

3:58

chose. To. do some something about it.

4:01

I don't think that my

4:03

mom really brought it up to me.

4:05

I think it was more me and saying,

4:08

okay, you know, what can

4:10

I do? And I ended up

4:12

just deciding to go on Slim Fast. All

4:15

right. So you were on Slim Fast and it's still that

4:17

14, 15 years of age area? I

4:21

would say so, maybe 15, 16,

4:23

because I do remember actually pretty

4:26

much staying on it, I think through

4:28

my senior year. It didn't take me

4:30

that long to lose the weight, but

4:32

I just remember trying to continue

4:36

making sure that I didn't gain the weight back. All

4:38

right. So after high school, you were, I'm

4:41

assuming, down at a weight that you felt comfortable.

4:43

Is that correct? Yes. Okay.

4:46

And at that point, what happened next? Were

4:48

you venturing into college or the workforce

4:50

and were you able to kind of

4:52

continue to keep your weight in check

4:55

or was it something that was again

4:57

becoming a concern for you? It

4:59

became somewhat of a concern. My husband,

5:01

who we had been dating at the

5:03

time and we went on a trip

5:06

over the summer, just a couple

5:08

of weeks, but, you know, kind of eating

5:10

fast food and stuff like that. And we

5:13

ended up eloping. So then being

5:16

that he was in the military,

5:18

we were dealing with an airman

5:20

salary and so not a lot

5:22

of money. Plus, you

5:24

know, being a newlywed, being out on my own, having,

5:26

I had cooked before when I

5:28

was growing up, but

5:31

this was more of

5:33

me cooking for us. And

5:36

so just, you know, kind of really

5:39

a lot of times doing like hamburger

5:41

helper or something like

5:43

that and just not doing

5:47

portions like I should have done. We would

5:49

also, I can remember at that time,

5:52

little Caesars had like

5:54

some crazy specials and so you get

5:56

like two pizzas for real cheap. And

5:59

so we were go and get those

6:01

pizzas and I mean we ate

6:03

them over several days but again the

6:06

portion sizes were not good. Yeah

6:08

and I see this as being a real problem for a

6:10

lot of people when they first get married. One

6:12

it could be they don't have really much cooking

6:14

skills or it could be a lack of budget

6:17

or it could be just they never

6:19

really had that responsibility and they're not

6:22

sure how to go about it. And so

6:24

when you reflect back on that time what

6:26

would be some advice now with the wisdom

6:28

that you have that you would give to

6:30

a fairly newlywed couple when it comes to

6:33

eating behaviors? I mean what have you learned

6:35

since then? Thankfully now

6:37

we have the internet so there's

6:39

so much out there that you

6:41

can find. There's you know

6:43

I mean even if you don't know how

6:46

to do something you can look on YouTube

6:48

or there's websites that have classes and things

6:50

that that you can learn. So my

6:53

advice would be to get on there

6:55

try to find some healthy alternatives that

6:57

that are kind of within

7:00

your price range and

7:03

and really just watching your portions. We

7:05

don't we don't realize a

7:08

lot of time and also another

7:10

thing that I was thinking of this morning too one

7:13

thing that I noticed with my mother-in-law when when

7:15

we would go over there to eat like

7:18

she would have maybe spaghetti for

7:20

dinner but she also

7:22

would incorporate applesauce you

7:24

know some bread on the side. So it

7:27

wasn't just the spaghetti which

7:30

was kind of what I was used to growing up with

7:32

you know you had the one thing I

7:34

mean you might have roast and potatoes or something but like if

7:37

you were having spaghetti you'd have

7:39

the spaghetti and the bread and that was pretty

7:41

much it. She was incorporating the applesauce

7:43

which was a good thing you know so

7:46

to try and you know

7:48

just incorporate different things a

7:50

salad I have salads almost

7:53

every night about the only time I

7:55

don't is if we're having soup but

7:58

other than that I typically do have a salad

8:00

and that helps so that

8:02

I'm not worrying

8:05

so much, you know, like

8:07

because otherwise I would want to maybe

8:10

double my portion which isn't

8:12

exactly advisable. So that

8:15

would be my suggestion would, you know, to

8:17

watch your portions and again get online and

8:19

check out some different websites that maybe

8:22

have some good healthy recipes. So

8:24

say somebody's brand new newlywed there and I know

8:27

because I just had a family member, she got married in

8:29

her really young 20s and she's still kind of living

8:31

with her parents. You may not

8:33

have all the culinary skills, you might not

8:35

know all the nutritional stuff but you know

8:37

what you could do, you could buy a

8:40

couple bags of like the salad mixes, you

8:42

could get some different cans of soup and

8:44

you could have some different types of fruit

8:46

on the side like you mentioned applesauce, you

8:48

could do a no sugar added canned fruit

8:51

like these are all fairly inexpensive things that

8:53

you could have on hand. So even if

8:55

you were getting the pizza out or having

8:57

a frozen pizza to your point, having a

9:00

bowl of low calorie soup with it, it's

9:02

going to fill you up, eat less pizza,

9:04

that might be a good little fix for

9:06

somebody until they can figure out how they

9:08

want to cook or how they want to

9:10

prepare meals and get into consistently with meal

9:12

planning. Right. So

9:14

married, getting used to this and was the weight

9:16

kind of creeping up a little bit as you

9:18

were eating these like different foods than

9:21

what you had eaten before? Yeah

9:23

and I would say I probably

9:25

was probably about where

9:28

I had been when I again went

9:30

on plump baths, when I

9:32

first noticed it in high school. It

9:34

wasn't because really I

9:36

was trying to think of how

9:39

much weight I probably lost at that point.

9:41

I probably lost about 25, 30 pounds. So

9:46

compared to what I had to lose this last year,

9:48

that wasn't a huge amount.

9:51

So I think I was probably about what I had

9:53

been back at that 14, 15 year old self. One

10:00

and when people seemingly has success with

10:02

something, they will always try to go

10:04

back to it even though I make

10:06

the argument. You know, if it was

10:08

really something sustainable and maintainable, you probably

10:11

wouldn't have stopped doing it to begin

10:13

with. But but was that urge to

10:15

go back to Slim Fast during that

10:17

time? Do you remember. There

10:19

was to an extent because

10:22

again. With the fun fast are

10:24

typically doing like a morning shaken and

10:26

as a lunch sake and so there

10:28

was crime that well let me try

10:30

that again and then I can just

10:33

have regular food at dinner. But

10:35

I would tend to do that. Maybe for

10:37

a short period of time and I I

10:39

did that every once in awhile throughout the

10:41

years. I would do that, but it was

10:43

never anything that I stuck with for very

10:46

long. Got. It Okay so at

10:48

this point that's not feeling right for

10:50

you. To stick with permanently

10:52

and what were you choosing

10:54

to? Do as far as you know,

10:56

moving forward with your career, moving forward and

10:58

married life were you gonna attempt at some

11:01

point? Do you think a different approach? Was

11:03

it one thing that you're really unhappy with

11:05

where you're we was in. You're looking for

11:07

other options. I was

11:10

unhappy with my way, but I

11:12

was trying to go through like

11:14

maybe just see some exercise. Not

11:17

really changed my eating habits, but

11:19

at least exercise. and again. I

11:22

look back now and think if I were

11:24

just had what I the access to the

11:26

internet that I have now. I probably

11:28

could have done some of the things that I

11:30

was trying to do, but I didn't stick with.

11:33

I was very much. For.

11:35

Example: I would go out to the base

11:37

and I tried the track which there are

11:39

track was like a quarter of allow. You

11:42

know, I couldn't even get. Maybe half way

11:44

around it without stop and walk in.

11:46

I try to run it and and.

11:48

That so I just thought, very frustrated. Were

11:51

now. You know

11:53

you have the couch to five k program

11:55

and you have just different programs out there

11:58

and and very supportive running community that. that

12:00

will kind of getting belly and so maybe

12:02

if i would have. Had that back then.

12:04

I think I could have stuck with

12:06

it, but that was. Kind. Of where

12:08

I was your was just. Exercising.

12:11

And not change my eating. Sure,

12:14

And why people do gravitate towards that

12:16

at first because it might feel doable.

12:18

he feels a little less restrictive and

12:20

when I normally see isn't someone does

12:22

bring in exercise. Sometimes the wait will

12:24

turn down initially for a little while

12:26

feed as the eating stays the same

12:28

but then eventually at levels back out

12:30

and so until some is willing to

12:32

focus. On the food, the weight loss

12:35

doesn't usually continue to progress with that

12:37

which he ran into. I

12:39

don't know if I really lost

12:41

too much weight. I don't even

12:43

lower of we have a scale so I don't know

12:46

You know I mean it would have been very minimal.

12:48

If I lost anything at that

12:50

point. I and so

12:52

what was the moment for you?

12:54

Because obviously you're exercising. You're trying to

12:57

find your footing there. You are not

12:59

completely happy with your body weight by

13:01

your kind of back at what you

13:03

were back in New Fourteen. sixteen years

13:05

of age. At what point in

13:07

your journey do you remember thinking i wanna

13:09

really make a different change? Here I went

13:11

to figure out how to eat in a

13:14

more sustainable way was or a one specific

13:16

moment or maybe an accumulation of different events

13:18

that led. You to that point? I

13:21

would say a kind of both.

13:23

Probably that one big thing for

13:25

me was when my dad passed

13:27

away and that was it's been

13:30

almost ten years ago. So.

13:32

I had several years leading up to

13:34

it where I would say it's all

13:36

I really wanna lose the weight. I

13:39

was very unhappy because I had gotten

13:41

a lot bigger over those years and

13:43

I did really want to change. But

13:46

I really. Not. Changing

13:48

the eating habits wasn't working or if

13:50

I try. Some seen on like

13:52

I tried the Atkins. That just

13:54

was not something that. I mean I

13:56

don't remember if I got through the first two weeks

13:58

and just like it make. My

14:00

stomach and so that

14:02

wasn't working. I'm I

14:05

tried to exercise at various points

14:07

throughout the years and different forms

14:09

of exercise that again with not

14:11

change my eating habits. It wasn't

14:13

healthy and so when my dad

14:16

passed away he was. He has

14:18

congestive heart failure. And

14:20

he just seems.

14:23

You know the pain that he was an?

14:25

Either the shortness of breath and everything

14:27

like that. And so about six months

14:29

after he had passed away was when

14:32

I kind of had this. You

14:35

know, I in. I had lost weight

14:37

before that a couple different times. that

14:39

really. Throughout the different times,

14:41

my mindset has changed. and I

14:44

mean really, my mindset improved the

14:46

most. this time. But

14:48

again, that was kind of my big

14:50

thing. With. Seen him go through that

14:52

and thinking to myself, you know, He

14:55

has congestive heart failure on he had

14:57

had as. A. Major heart attack

14:59

and had of have a quintuple

15:01

bypass. When. Our daughter was a

15:03

year old. So. Those types

15:06

of things and I saw a final

15:08

make some changes. I can in that

15:10

mean in the same position. And

15:13

so that was kind of. My.

15:15

Big wake up call I guess I would say. Radius

15:18

does. Would I use your from a

15:20

lot of people? Is it could be

15:22

watching appearance go through. Something like that

15:24

or spouse or a friend that's of

15:26

the same age as you that may

15:29

be eaters, that realization of or mortality

15:31

rate and questioning of our decisions and

15:33

so in that you said something lead

15:35

singer said your mindset had sturdy to

15:38

change with even changed more as of

15:40

late. So what we do we have

15:42

seen going on. In your mind

15:45

before your father passing away,

15:47

And what do you see is being different now.

15:49

Always insisted she we through this idea of mine

15:51

sent around. right? You'll hear those words, you know? Oh

15:53

change your mindset and that is us With

15:56

sometimes it actually helps if we shine a

15:58

big lights on what. We're talking of. So

16:00

what was the mindset before your dad

16:02

passed away and white would you say

16:04

is different now when your mindset comparatively.

16:06

Speaking. Probably the big

16:09

thing for me s. Again

16:11

what you mentioned that sustainability and that

16:13

was something and really it it took.

16:15

You say it was hearing you say

16:18

that on one of the podcast when

16:20

it finally clicked and it is crazy

16:22

that you would think that all of

16:24

these. Years that I've you know

16:26

been dieting and and. Exercising

16:28

and things like that you would

16:30

think it would have class that

16:33

okay I have to do some

16:35

seem to make this last. But

16:37

it didn't until I heard you

16:39

say and he and he talked

16:41

about the fact that you. Have to

16:43

find something that you can do for the rest of

16:45

your. Life it's you can be happy with

16:47

a way that you can live because this

16:50

is not an insane. And

16:52

I had heard something kind of

16:54

like that in the past, but

16:56

I guess it never really clicked.

16:59

As. Who? As much as it did

17:01

hearing it from you? So I would

17:03

say before I was very much I

17:05

wanted to move the way I wanted

17:07

to look better. Which you know I

17:09

mean that's a good thing you know

17:12

I I was a very unhappy with

17:14

the way I look. I did not

17:16

have the energy. To. Do a

17:18

lot of thing. But I just

17:20

kind of continued. To

17:23

lose the weight. And man,

17:25

and in the other thing I think

17:27

that goes along with mindset is. You

17:29

have that in day in mind. And

17:32

I've seen different things lately about that

17:35

that has and it's like, yep, and

17:37

that's exactly right Because you say, well,

17:39

I'm gonna go on this diet. And.

17:42

This is my goal weight and this is the

17:44

day that I want to see that go mad.

17:47

But you don't stop and think. Or.

17:50

At least I didn't, especially initially

17:53

that I'm going to have to

17:55

continue to. Watch what

17:57

I eat. I can't go back. Q.

18:01

What? I did before and and. I use

18:03

that as an example because one of the diet.

18:06

That. I had done in the past. I.

18:08

Kind of did that. And I reached my

18:10

goal weight and it was like I

18:12

can finally led off and I can.

18:15

You. Know go back to eating. Well.

18:18

I maintain it for a little while.

18:21

But. Not for. Any real weeks

18:23

of time? And so

18:25

that's a big thing. I

18:28

so love when I just heard you say

18:30

So if I were to have Mind A

18:32

vs Mind Beats sound like Mind A was.

18:34

Very concerned about the immediate results of

18:36

the weight loss it was about getting.

18:39

To that like you said that,

18:41

date that goal number but it

18:43

was really never even remotely thinking

18:45

about anything past that date. By

18:47

now, this mind be is saying

18:49

hey, whatever we're willing to do

18:51

to get to that goal, we've

18:54

got it Say to ourselves is

18:56

something that. Will be your to

18:58

on past that point into the

19:00

forever future. Yes,

19:03

Very much so guys are it's a

19:05

what is what does that look like

19:07

on a practical level then. So I'm

19:09

always very shocked and I know I've

19:11

done these kinds of things to were

19:13

will do some really extreme things to

19:15

lose weight and then people will say

19:17

I'll do anything to lose weight and

19:19

that's truly that discarding. Have thought of

19:21

what will it be like once I

19:23

hit the goal versus somebody who's trying

19:25

to focus on that idea of it

19:27

being a forever journey that you're never

19:29

really getting get out. Of right you're just going

19:31

to continue on. That may be just alter few. Small

19:33

things so what if the eating

19:35

look like for you bring a

19:37

vs brain be where did the

19:39

activity look like and how. Are

19:41

you talking to yourself differently in

19:43

those two scenarios? As far as.

19:47

Well, one of the first guy as that I

19:49

did. Post high school was kind

19:51

of I would say based on.

19:54

The food pyramid. And so like

19:56

it would say you can have eczema

19:58

servings else. You know, Rice

20:00

and bread and things like that you can as

20:02

x number servings of meet a day. And

20:04

and so it was very structured. That

20:08

was probably one of the swifter

20:10

ones as well as the Atkins

20:12

you know with the no carbs

20:14

were now. In In

20:16

This Again has evolved through Out.

20:19

The. Process. And so now I'm kind

20:21

of like, what can I have Poor.

20:23

I guess I would say I don't

20:25

want to cut anything out. That would

20:28

be a big thing and I think

20:30

I've heard you say that, like and

20:32

in some kind of strictest. On

20:34

myself about that and I try not

20:37

to push that on other people. It's

20:39

hard because I want to see them

20:41

healthy as well. but. Just

20:43

not saying no to anything

20:45

you know, just realizing that.

20:48

I can have. Pizza.

20:51

Or. I can have Kate. I can

20:53

have those things that I enjoy.

20:55

I just can't have as much.

20:57

and I can't have them all

20:59

the time. So.

21:01

As in so that's been a

21:03

big change your as far as

21:06

because again the mindset before was

21:08

during that whole diet period. I

21:11

couldn't have those things. Or. At least

21:13

I didn't allow myself to. I was

21:15

very especially the early. One, I was

21:18

very strict on what I allowed myself

21:20

to have in. I just stuck to

21:22

it. A I was very rigid. I

21:24

kind of tend to be a perfectionist.

21:27

Add. I was a perfectionist in that area

21:29

as well. Wear and so

21:31

then again it got me when I

21:34

got to that in day it was

21:36

like freedom and I can go crazy

21:38

now. I know and in

21:40

even through. This last time leaving

21:42

the way. I would

21:44

kind of plan so that if I wanted

21:47

to go have coffee with my friends I

21:49

could have coffee. You know we could get

21:51

a latte or or a cappuccino. Or

21:53

whatever we wanted and I just

21:55

knew to kind of. Work

21:58

that a rounds. Through. Calorie

22:00

budget. Through my exercise

22:02

whatever but I knew I could still

22:04

have it. And another thing I learned

22:07

through you which I have loved was.

22:09

Fine. Mean something. That.

22:12

But let's say for example, pizza. Find.

22:15

A way to eat it. That is

22:17

a little bit more healthy. So.

22:19

I can still enjoy it but just kind

22:21

of better way of eating it. And yes

22:23

we still. Occasionally will hit dominoes or

22:26

or Pizza Hut or whatever. but

22:28

I also like for example we

22:30

use. The lavish bread and I use

22:32

like the turkey crumbles and things like

22:34

that and so I can kind of

22:36

have a a really good pizza bit

22:38

silly. But. When my

22:40

calories than I would if I

22:42

have the dominoes. Her The Pizza Hut. Through.

22:45

Sounds like the old

22:47

Breen. Thought process was very restrictive.

22:49

Eat these foods Don't need these foods.

22:51

I'm assuming pizza was not part of

22:54

it. Yes,

22:56

This. Is the new one is and

22:58

will love. As you said, I don't

23:00

see no in honestly we don't realize

23:02

that power over words and to we

23:04

change them. When I was kind of

23:06

in this mindset for my twenties would

23:08

I realize was I was anxious and

23:10

stress because I felt like I was

23:12

saying i couldn't have so many things

23:14

are you can have pizza I can

23:17

have ice creams and I thought this

23:19

anxiety building and myself of course I'm

23:21

kinda sad the ties really do with

23:23

only a matter of times but as

23:25

soon as they change that dialogue. And

23:27

I said heather know you can absolutely have

23:29

ice cream and pizza. Us will go out

23:31

inhabit at a restaurant though you're not gonna

23:33

bring it home and have it as much

23:36

as you want. Now is the little pivot

23:38

suits. When I started seeing yes and being

23:40

less restrictive, it made it easier to be

23:42

compliant with would it was I was trying

23:44

to do. did you feel is shifted all

23:47

when you started talking little differently to yourself.

23:50

Yes and I would say.

23:52

Especially now. I don't know that

23:54

I eat and would have said

23:56

that when I started this last

23:59

time, but. No, I do

24:01

like I feel like. I

24:03

know the things that I need to

24:05

do because. Before. It

24:08

took a lot to get me to lose

24:10

the weight. Because. Again, I

24:12

had that mindset of well I'm

24:14

gonna have to go back to.

24:17

Starving myself, I

24:20

was starving myself but in my brain you

24:23

know was like why case while the did

24:25

this So that was what I told myself

24:27

and so that was always. It took something

24:29

like. My father passing. Away

24:31

and having that. Epiphany,

24:33

That case you better change or you

24:36

could end up like that as well.

24:38

Or like this last time when I

24:40

was injured. And then it

24:42

was like, okay, Well part of the

24:44

reason they got this way with because. You

24:47

are having. You have a weight problem. And

24:50

you've let yourself go. And.

24:52

You. Are now in

24:54

this position and if you don't change

24:56

you know you may never. Get

24:59

back to being active again and

25:01

I was just not ready to

25:03

stop living. but again, Now

25:05

I know that. You

25:08

know because again the mindset was well then

25:10

I have to starve myself for I can't

25:12

have the good stuff you know for. Let's

25:14

say it takes me eight months or a

25:16

year or whatever and I knew and that

25:18

was like. Major to

25:20

me. And so now.

25:23

Even. If I would gain the way back

25:25

which I hope I know. but even if

25:27

I did, I would know. You know

25:30

what? It's really not that bad. And.

25:32

The things that I. Am Cd. Or

25:35

not that bad and I. Don't have to

25:37

be so restrictive. And. So that's

25:39

kind of mine. My mindset change in

25:41

that. So. Would I hear

25:44

in all of this is this

25:46

idea of by giving permission by

25:48

by not saying you can't have

25:50

these things you remove a layer

25:52

of resistance from actually doing the

25:54

same You. Needed to do which was

25:56

with lowering your calories to get hooked Me

25:58

or you could lose. But as long

26:00

as you had the belief. I. Can't

26:03

have pizza. I can't have all the couldn't

26:05

put good things. Then there was like this

26:07

immediate wall that when up and you were

26:09

like you know what not ready to cross

26:11

that boundary rights. But now that we see

26:13

all foods are permitted and we can have

26:15

them and week even do like slightly later

26:18

versions of them it removes that layer. Of

26:20

barrier Do you agree? With

26:22

yes most definitely. And this is an

26:24

important thing to bring up because people

26:26

pick really restrictive diet where they feel

26:29

they can't have all those things and

26:31

a white knuckle it to get through

26:33

six, eight weeks, whatever. and then inevitably

26:35

they hit that wall where they're like,

26:37

man, I miss pizza. Man, I miss

26:39

ice cream. I don't know if I

26:42

could. That's when that moment happens, that

26:44

maintainable, sustainable question gets played. which is,

26:46

I don't know if I didn't do

26:48

this for the rest of my life.

26:50

In this feels really difficult. But they're

26:52

so burn out from doing it that see

26:55

your point they don't. They have a hard

26:57

time getting back to something that will create

26:59

weight loss because in their mind there so

27:01

it's hats as idea of being restriction and

27:03

we've gotta really work on that. So we

27:05

we. Release this layer of resistance

27:07

to doing the process. Yes,

27:10

So. You're in the community. I offer up

27:12

open office our coaching sessions for community members

27:14

specifically and you reached out to me you

27:16

had lost a good amount of weight and

27:18

for the listeners he could share with them

27:20

how much total you've lost but you are

27:23

kind of running into a little bit of

27:25

a problem after losing the weight. It's interesting

27:27

we think the there's when we get to

27:29

that goal number. Everything is smooth sailing after

27:31

that right? But I get lots the questions

27:33

from people who listen to the show that

27:35

have lost weight and are struggling after they

27:37

lost the weight so could you may be

27:39

sure how much. You lost and them, what was

27:41

the struggle point? You you wanted to share with me and

27:44

our coaching call together. I have

27:46

now lost seventy eight pounds I think

27:48

at that time. It. Was probably

27:50

may be around sixty. Eight pounds on.

27:52

because once I went into maintenance, I still

27:54

did lose a little bit. By.

27:57

When I talk to you I think I had

27:59

just went into maintenance. And. So I

28:01

was kind of just trying to. Make.

28:04

Sure I had figured out my to the

28:06

he. And I was.

28:09

Trying to me I was thinking

28:12

that was my correct td but

28:14

that I had. Like had

28:16

a slight again or something and it was

28:18

only like a pound or two. But of

28:21

and you know that that panic set in

28:23

that oh no, I've overdone it. And.

28:26

What? Am I gonna do now and sell them?

28:28

I was wanting to talk to you when and

28:30

just kind of make sure that. You.

28:32

Know what I was doing and

28:34

in you had mentioned before. you

28:36

know give it six weeks. You

28:38

know, because we do have different. Fox is

28:41

messing with women. You know different things happen

28:43

throughout the month, so give it to six

28:45

weeks. So that was kind of what I

28:47

was wanting to make sure that. You.

28:50

Know what was going on in that Us? And.

28:54

Oversaw plate and. Now

28:56

with is going gain the weight back or you

28:58

know, even even a little bit. I just didn't

29:00

wanna see that scale go up. Right?

29:02

And this is one something for.

29:04

We're talking about this because a

29:06

lot of women will lose weight

29:08

and they are petrified to go

29:10

up to maintenance calories because of

29:12

what you just said. They're scared

29:14

to see the skill change at

29:16

all in a direction. and then

29:19

they kind of get their sons

29:21

get her body conditions estate those

29:23

weight loss calories and guess what

29:25

those weight loss calories become their

29:27

maintenance calories Because metabolism is very

29:29

adjustable it is not have six

29:31

point if you change exercise. If

29:33

you change nutrition, if you trains

29:35

calorie composition of food, all of

29:37

those things can increase or decrease

29:39

metabolism, age, all those factors, rights.

29:42

And so I see women locking

29:44

themselves into diet calories for maintenance

29:46

calories because they're so afraid of

29:48

that transition. And since you have

29:50

experience that six weeks and since

29:53

your youth, you survive to tell

29:55

the tale. As they say, Would

29:58

I would like for you to do is issue

30:00

what that was like and what did you learn

30:03

from that process? The how did you handle that

30:05

six week time frame? What did you walk away

30:07

with? Knowledge wise and what would you say to

30:09

a woman who may. Be was afraid to do

30:11

what you did. I

30:13

would say. It ended up

30:15

being okay. I think I had any

30:18

kind of that at the pool at

30:20

that point. My to eat

30:22

towers were probably pretty

30:24

accurate. Decent weather and things

30:26

we have. Our exercise has changed so

30:28

I can totally relate to what you're

30:30

talking about. that you know the metabolism

30:32

fan changes of things. Because we were

30:35

doing kind of though we were doing

30:37

some long run because we are hoping

30:39

to do a half marathon this year

30:41

and all of a sudden with we

30:43

had heavy rain. So some of their

30:45

roots. That we would normally taken were washed

30:47

out and we. Didn't want to be born

30:49

in same word all the time and suggest

30:52

different things changed and. He. Know

30:54

now lately we've been having to go to

30:56

the gym and run on whatever but he

30:58

calls the dread male so you know my

31:00

exercise is kind of changed a little bit.

31:02

saw it had to adjust that. Honestly,

31:06

I would just say just say. You

31:08

know, just stay calm. And. Again,

31:11

As long as you're not in that mindset,

31:13

or as long as you're not in a

31:15

point where you feel like you can't do

31:17

this for the rest of your life. Then

31:20

you shouldn't have. A problem. If

31:23

is is where you're gonna run into, the

31:25

problem is if you're not planning to do.

31:27

This for the rest of your

31:29

life. Whatever you're doing now and

31:31

and I don't mean calorie wise.

31:34

I mean I guess some ways I

31:36

do, but again, just the things that

31:38

are eating the exercises you're doing. You

31:40

know if you're happy and you're enjoying

31:42

your life at this point and you're

31:44

not feel like you're really miss an

31:47

hour on all that much, then you're

31:49

gonna be fine going through that six

31:51

weeks. And. Yes, you

31:53

may have to make some adjustments after

31:55

that. May be up baby down.

31:58

I. Mean, I'm getting ready to. From

32:00

another year older sell he knows what

32:02

that's going to data why Metabolism either

32:04

So you know just I would just

32:06

say just stick with the process. Dell.

32:09

Panic. And like he said, give

32:11

it to six weeks and see

32:13

what happens. Don't worry about. Every.

32:16

Little town that that foot saw and you

32:18

may be pleasantly surprised like I was. Where

32:20

you may actually in that be the lose

32:22

and more. It just depends. In. Honestly,

32:25

I see that more often than not to

32:27

be honest with. You the losing more

32:29

is you generally increase but the two

32:31

points. I'm sworn that six we time.

32:33

Even if the numbers were off a little

32:35

bit, you pride in see a twenty pound

32:38

gain on the scale in six weeks. Even

32:40

if you're over shooting your calories by a

32:42

few hundred, you might see a pounds true

32:44

gain of body fat over the course of

32:47

six weeks. It's nothing is nothing. were the

32:49

to get yourself so bunched up over that

32:51

you don't let the process play out rate.

32:53

And that's what I came to see is

32:56

on the day to day basis our body

32:58

we can fluctuate five to six pounds either

33:00

direction. And so we think that means.

33:03

True that we game, but

33:05

really, it's water fluctuations. And so

33:07

what we need to do with com ourselves

33:09

and say hey, let's use them Just basic

33:11

knowledge here. unless I'm overshooting my calories by

33:13

three thousand five hundred per week on my

33:16

gaining a pound a week. Gray? I mean,

33:18

that's not possible. And so a lot of

33:20

what I'm seeing on a day to day

33:22

basis as those water fluctuations in that's totally

33:24

normal. What we're really looking at is your

33:27

trend line over time when it comes to

33:29

the weights, and so you basically feel like

33:31

that six weeks' time frame. It might have

33:33

felt like a long time raid. It. Might

33:36

have felt kind of scary, but ultimately when you

33:38

came on the other side, no big damage was

33:40

done. Rain. Correct. Okay

33:42

some sense that point to that was

33:44

like last summer us continue to lose

33:46

them more so now you said your

33:48

seventy eight down. That's awesome and what

33:51

is the. Plan moving forward as far

33:53

as weight loss, weight maintenance. Where's the

33:55

goal going into the future? Really,

33:58

it's just the weight maintenance. I'm

34:00

happy with where I'm at. And honestly,

34:02

my doctor might say something different,

34:05

but unless they tell me that

34:07

I've got major health risks or

34:09

something that I need to lose

34:11

more, I'm very happy with where

34:14

I'm at, my husband is very

34:16

happy with where I'm at and

34:18

and I am kind of careful

34:20

with myself. I tend to lose

34:23

the weight in my face and

34:25

neck area quickly. I

34:27

don't want to get to where I

34:29

look. Too thin, So

34:31

I just i use my husband as

34:34

a guide to to gonna say okay.

34:36

You know I don't want to give up

34:38

on this or I don't want to say

34:41

maybe I would think I could lose another

34:43

ten pounds. I don't wanna. Put.

34:45

That off. if maybe I should.

34:47

But. I also don't want to

34:49

see it if I see if I

34:52

don't really need to. You know I

34:54

will. Be happy with

34:56

where I'm at and. Be

34:58

at really the best ways that or the

35:00

healthiest that I can be I would say.

35:03

I'm like what you just said there

35:05

because what you said was there's probably

35:07

multiple thought that can go on it

35:09

seems. Time Rape. One thing to be?

35:11

well I want to be the wheat that. My

35:13

doctor has assigned to me or I want

35:15

to be the wait did I was on

35:17

such and such a day That such and

35:19

such a point. So that's that constant struggle

35:21

of wanting to attain and number. Said

35:23

Either someone has said we're that you

35:25

have believed in the past to be

35:28

a number you should get and name.

35:30

Would I hear his? You've got these

35:32

physical athletic goals and it's also about

35:34

feeling well and be would perform well.

35:36

And then there is the quality of

35:38

life which is when we die it

35:40

and this is something all winning. Wanna

35:42

think about when we die? Yeah, we're

35:44

putting our bodies under stress or just

35:46

like running. put your body under stress.

35:48

Just like doing a lot of repetitive

35:50

action can be putting your body under

35:53

stress. Since we some didn't have to

35:55

ask yourself at what point is enough

35:57

a nurse and when we're we release.

36:00

Yeah, you know where we happiest, where

36:02

we are fittest and that we can

36:04

enjoy our life and I enjoyment of

36:06

life factor I find sometimes gets lost

36:08

in the shuffle in the pursuit of

36:10

a week goal and it sounds like

36:12

you're considering that. Yes, So.

36:15

If I could send you back in

36:17

time to any of these old versions

36:19

of use a fourteen year old version

36:21

that started the Slim Fast diet, the

36:23

version of you that was married, the

36:25

version of you that may be did

36:27

the more Atkins pyramid style dieting. Where

36:29

would you want me to send you

36:32

back in your timeline and what message

36:34

would you want to deliver to that

36:36

version of yourself? What would you want

36:38

to say to her to may be

36:40

either spurt seems a little bit earlier

36:42

or maybe to help guide her or.

36:44

Offer for some different thoughts them what she was having.

36:47

Where would you want to go? What would you want

36:49

to say? I see

36:51

it. maybe that person in my

36:53

early twenties. Or even you

36:55

know, even my nineteen year old self.

36:57

Eighteen nineteen year. Old self when

36:59

I was first married and just.

37:02

To. Be.

37:04

Able to go and find. Somebody.

37:07

That he know because again like I

37:10

said we we now we have the

37:12

internet but back then I didn't really

37:14

feel like I had any body that

37:16

that would have had the knowledge to

37:18

kind of help me along and it

37:20

and to kind of incur or to

37:22

me as far. As the

37:24

exercise. You know, don't just give up

37:26

because it hurts. I mean the I

37:28

remember being in high school and try

37:31

it out for cross country and I

37:33

went to one practice. And. I gave

37:35

up because it was hard is

37:37

so it would kind of in

37:40

my thing would be to find

37:42

somebody that can be supportive and

37:44

and encouraging and maybe show me.

37:47

Okay well yeah, let's let's incorporate

37:49

some exercise. That also, let's. Find.

37:52

Some healthy ways to eat? Unless you

37:54

know, maybe like, You had talked

37:56

about n incorporating some healthy

37:59

saying. Didn't you hear

38:01

me? Or rather. Than just having the

38:03

hamburger helper. or you know, because money

38:05

was an issue or whatever. So

38:08

basically some ideas of things to

38:10

slightly altar and to look for

38:12

encouragement and somebody who. Would push you

38:14

just a little bit but also kind of

38:16

have your best interests at heart. Yes!

38:19

So love this are I

38:21

my dear? I am so

38:23

incredibly inspired! By your story. On

38:25

Senate we have to go through multiple

38:27

attempts at this to get it right

38:30

in. Unfortunately, I see many people giving

38:32

up prematurely because they say well Heather

38:34

I've tried the so many times and

38:36

I just don't think I'm ever going

38:38

to get where I want to be

38:40

or I feel like. Every time

38:42

I do this I crash. You know, after

38:45

short period of time. You don't.

38:47

For someone who's thinking that and hearing how

38:49

you had to go through various attempts to

38:51

get where you are today, what would you

38:53

say to that person? I would

38:55

just say don't give up. I

38:58

would. Say you know,

39:00

reach out to somebody. Try.

39:02

And find somebody that that. You

39:05

can. Talk. To about it

39:07

and you know maybe send as

39:09

it is seen. be successful. Wincing

39:12

the way even though and this is something

39:14

that I want to for me that that

39:16

success is how long you maintain it. You.

39:18

Know it's easy to lose the weight

39:20

for some people, but. The. Success

39:23

comes when you maintain it So

39:25

find somebody that it that the

39:27

you see that you. Feel.

39:29

Would be an encouragement. That

39:31

would be willing to help you.

39:33

and maybe you know. Kind

39:36

of odd Catholics and a half

39:38

size me.com or half size mean

39:40

podcast this. Don't give up. Because.

39:43

You're worth it and you can do

39:45

what you just. Need to. Can just

39:47

keep going. To stick with it.

39:50

Is. The idea of being either the

39:52

six mindset versus. The growth mindset, right?

39:54

it's is. Saying there's no way

39:56

any human being on planet earth

39:58

to know every there is you

40:00

know about anyone given subject. Whether

40:02

we're talking weight loss? Whether we're

40:05

talking paintings, there's always room to

40:07

learn more. There's. Always room to grow

40:09

and if you can embrace this idea of

40:11

a growth or learning mindset which you can

40:14

do is start to say hey, what didn't

40:16

work about all those other attempts I've made

40:18

a weight loss. What can What information can

40:20

I take away from that and say you

40:23

know I'm not gonna do that again but

40:25

maybe I can start taking in some different

40:27

ideas and that's was awesome is that as

40:29

we get older, as we progress, we learn

40:32

new things. we can really take what we

40:34

learn and apply it in different ways. And

40:36

I think it's that willingness. To see

40:38

yourself as that forever learner, the the

40:41

forever growing person who's gonna be changing

40:43

and not that you're sixty six, meaning

40:45

locked into where. You are right now. We're.

40:48

Very true or I have totally

40:51

love talking to you and I

40:53

know the listeners have enjoyed. Listening to

40:55

all of your knowledge and wisdom. And

40:57

if somebody wanted to reach out to you

40:59

or connect with you, how could they go

41:01

about doing that? Well

41:03

I have my email address or you

41:06

have my email address and so he

41:08

could reach out there that size in

41:10

the community and Heather can picture in

41:12

contact with me. But also I do

41:14

have a facebook group is called. It's

41:17

all about change and if he would

41:19

like to join that, it's just that

41:21

software A but people just gonna be

41:23

in support of each other and and

41:25

Sharon recipes. It was. No food,

41:27

ideas and things like that. If you

41:30

would like to join that, that's fine.

41:32

Just please make a know when you

41:34

asked to that you heard this part

41:36

about it on that Upsizing podcast so

41:38

that I know that it's somebody that

41:40

listen to the podcast them and wants

41:43

to join. Or and so that was

41:45

all about the changes that rain. It's

41:47

all about Change is all about change.

41:49

Okay, perfect and yeah. and again, if

41:51

you have a question for Connie and

41:53

you want me to forwarded on to

41:56

her, just reference this. podcast number and

41:58

let me know and I will be

42:00

more than happy to forward those on. Thank you

42:02

so very much Connie for your time today

42:04

and your wisdom and your thoughts because as

42:06

you're growing and changing in this we can

42:08

help other people maybe see some different things

42:10

that they might not have seen before. So

42:12

I just am truly thankful you came on.

42:15

Well thank you so much for having me. Thank

42:17

you for listening. Be sure to

42:19

visit havesizing.com. Check back often for

42:22

your daily dose of inspiration because

42:24

you are worth it. The information

42:26

you hear on this podcast is for

42:28

informational purposes only. The host is not

42:30

a medical professional. You should always consult

42:32

with your doctor, nurse or other certified

42:35

health professional before beginning any diet or

42:37

fitness program.