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On today's episode of Help! I

0:02

Sexed My Boss, William's been in

0:05

trouble with the law. We're disagreeing

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about Christmas decorations, one of our

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GnDVAs has taken an inappropriate deep

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1:21

Program. Hello

1:30

and welcome to Help I Sexed My

1:32

Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate

1:35

the challenges of modern life. Answering

1:37

your 21st century questions and finding

1:39

solutions to those everyday dilemmas. Like,

1:41

what is the best way to

1:43

remove sprinkle sparkle spunk from cotton

1:45

sheets? Get Jack Allahan back, we'll

1:47

ask him. How do I deal with the

1:49

prospect of being rimmed live on stage by

1:51

Camp Man? I'm not getting rimmed. Neither am

1:53

I. It's Ben. And what

1:56

should you do if you've accidentally sexed

1:58

your boss? We're not your

2:00

usual agony answer. Oh, we, William Hudson, the

2:03

UK's leading etiquette expert. No, we're not, Jordan

2:05

North, new capital breakfast host. As of April,

2:07

here we go, this one's from Lizzie. I

2:09

asked for it, she delivered. I'm more noble,

2:12

you're more global. Very good. There we go.

2:14

Thank you, everybody. Thank you. For our friends

2:16

not in the radio industry, global-owned

2:19

capital radio. Yes, indeed. And many other

2:21

brands as well. Right, shall

2:23

we get straight to it, hey? Yes, do you want to

2:26

do the Duvone? We've got a new Cornish blue Flamingo gin.

2:28

Who are? That's a prissy bottle. Now, with this,

2:31

do we put the gin in first?

2:33

Oh, the Duvone, how's it gonna... Very good.

2:35

Probably if it's following Clotted Cream, we

2:37

put the Duvone in first and the

2:39

gin in last. Oh, OK. So,

2:41

we've got a lovely waxy seal. I'm

2:44

gonna have a good drink today, should I? Oh,

2:46

you have a drink. I've got a DJ gig after this.

2:49

I think doing it drunk is obligatory.

2:51

Do here. Oh!

2:55

Oh, it's high-pitched in Cornwall, isn't it? Oh! That

2:58

was a... All right. Well,

3:01

you said you wanted a drink. OK. I

3:04

would like to toast... Who? Everyone

3:06

that was born on the 29th of February, obviously this year, it

3:08

was a leap year. I

3:10

said a couple of weeks ago in

3:12

the Ettagetemology that the 29th of February

3:15

is a non-day. It's not legally recognised.

3:17

I stand corrected by quite a few

3:19

people. It's been legally recognised since 1750.

3:23

Oh, OK. So, if you had a birthday

3:25

on the 29th of February, I'm sorry for making

3:27

you not exist. Happy

3:29

belated birthday. Happy belated

3:32

birthday. Just proves that not all

3:34

experts actually correct

3:36

all the tang. Oh,

3:39

delicious. Oh, I need a drink today, should

3:41

I? Do you? I want you to

3:43

down that. Yeah. Go on. We

3:45

like to drink with Jordan. I've got a

3:47

DJ gig after this. Yes, but who cares?

3:49

You've got hours to go until that. Slow

3:51

and steady. OK. Yeah. If

3:54

you really want. It's been a day, William. Has

3:56

it been a day? This is an afternoon recorder

3:58

project. It's been a day. It's been

4:00

a day. At 8 o'clock this morning

4:03

I have to do a pot noodle. Yes, I

4:05

know, I was there. Advert with William Hansen. We

4:08

had great fun. We did. I

4:11

know we always talk about him but I'm

4:13

low-key obsessed with your friend Freddie. Viral

4:16

Freddie. Viral Freddie. He's more

4:18

like William than William. He's

4:21

like living in the Matrix, a

4:23

parallel universe. In fact, he makes

4:25

William look like a scaffold of some scum fold. Honestly,

4:28

I just, I

4:31

can't, I just, I'm just

4:33

fascinated by him. I know, we went for breakfast

4:35

afterwards and you had him on one side of

4:38

you and me on the other side. And he

4:40

just got me. So much like that dream I

4:42

had. This comes out as a flat,

4:44

I was pissed as a fart and

4:46

he's just so past his head. Yes,

4:49

UPS. Oh god, yeah. Ultra processed food.

4:51

Processed. Processed food. He's so partial. I'm

4:53

not quite nailing the accent and he's

4:55

pissing me off. No, but he is,

4:57

I would say that is the closest

5:00

you've come to actually impersonating him. Darling.

5:02

He said, no he goes, darling, oh

5:04

darling. No, I said, Freddie, I like

5:06

your signet ring. I've

5:09

got a guy. He will sort you

5:11

out. Don't you worry. Can

5:14

I have your number and I'll pass it on to him. He's

5:16

just, I'm just, yeah. He's...

5:20

Why are you inquiring about a signet ring? I

5:22

want the signet ring. Oh, I see. And I

5:24

went, he went, do you know, he said to

5:27

me and I quote, do you know your family's

5:29

crest? I

5:31

was like, what? Is that, do you know the North Crest?

5:33

I think it's the same as HMP Prison. I

5:37

was like, I'm not aware of it. Oh,

5:40

don't worry. I'll have a look online for

5:42

you now. Yes,

5:44

are your family from Wales? I said originally,

5:46

I went, right, I found a crest. I

5:48

went, shall I

5:50

just get my initials on it? And he turned and looked

5:52

at me, paused and went, Oh, no, don't do initials. Coming.

5:58

I love the fact that you now want to see... A couple of

6:00

weeks ago it was a three star Michelin

6:02

restaurant. Now it's

6:05

a signet ring. And he's filthy.

6:08

He's got a very dirty sense of

6:10

humour. Are you enjoying being back

6:12

on Saturday night take away? I'm absolutely loving

6:14

it, yeah. I had

6:16

Alex Oakley last week. Yes you did.

6:18

So as your own viral, Freddie, I

6:20

believe. Chairman of Meredith

6:23

Stewart now that he's been... Ten

6:25

pin, not ten pin, not freelance in

6:28

what civil world. Moonlight. Moonlight.

6:30

Yeah, okay good. I

6:32

forgot how much it's loved being backstage.

6:35

I just geek out. Like when

6:37

they tell me they say, oh you're clear now, you've

6:39

done your bit. I just stay and watch the rest

6:41

of rehearsals. I'm like this. I

6:44

know he sent us a nice video of you sitting in the audience just

6:46

watching some rehearsal. Can we talk

6:49

about the pressure hose? Which was on

6:51

the first week. At the time of recording Jordan hasn't

6:53

done the second week. So God knows

6:55

what happened. It was fully improvised. I can tell.

6:58

I licked a pressure hose because

7:00

it was spur of the moment. I

7:03

thought I need to... It was all a bit

7:05

Miley Cyrus. It was very Miley Cyrus and you

7:07

only get a couple of minutes and I thought

7:09

well I want it to be memorable. It was

7:12

absolutely memorable. So I licked a pressure hose and

7:14

then... And then squirted on

7:16

the television centre sign. Did

7:18

you have to say squirted? Well you did, that's what you

7:20

do with the pressure hose. How posh did I sound then?

7:24

Jordan, are you not aware of what is happening to you? Did

7:26

you hear? Oh I said squirted. I don't

7:29

want to say squirted. Yeah. Squirted.

7:32

Oh she squirted. I'm at the 8th of April it's

7:34

going to sound like classic FM, not capital. Good

7:38

evening. Good evening is a breakfast. Oh

7:40

God I need to get my head around this.

7:42

Yeah there's a lot going on, there's a lot

7:44

to remember. Good morning. Welcome to

7:46

the breakfast show. Yeah you

7:48

should have seen with the M's. I feel like that.

7:51

Oh God. Pretty

7:53

much all saying the same thing. I'd

7:55

love you to lick my power hose.

7:58

Oh. Why do people... I

8:00

don't know, fuck yeah, the

8:02

ends are popping. Well,

8:05

you've set a very high

8:07

bar, what are you going to do to top it?

8:10

I can't wait for you to see this

8:12

weekend's Saturday Night Takeaway. Oh

8:16

really? So it's going out on Tuesday. Can you tell

8:18

me now? I can't tell

8:20

you but you're going to love my costume.

8:22

Okay, well I'll record it. Yeah, you're going

8:25

to love it. Yeah, nice, okay.

8:28

I was going to say I've not worn them. Does it involve

8:30

a cape? It doesn't involve a cape but I've not worn them

8:32

since what I'm wearing, I've not worn since I was a child.

8:36

A nappy. It's not a nappy.

8:39

Okay, or a diaper for

8:41

our American Mrs. Diaper. How's your week

8:43

been, what have you been up to? Well Jordan,

8:45

we're here to wipe again. Can

8:47

I just clarify before I go any

8:49

further, you don't read really, you don't

8:51

pay much attention to that WhatsApp group

8:54

do you? You know how busy and

8:56

flooded my WhatsApps get. Oh yes. So

8:59

I keep an eye on it and I... 286

9:01

I think was the last tally. So when I'm

9:04

not up to date on the WhatsApp group I

9:06

just put stuff in like great work here guys.

9:08

Yeah, the Young Mr. Grace approach. Just keep

9:10

doing what you're doing, like loving your

9:12

work, that kind of thing which I think pissed everyone else.

9:14

But what happened this week? Well

9:17

Jordan, so I was in Geneva for

9:19

work for two nights doing research, I was doing

9:21

some writing for upcoming books, more on that in

9:23

the UAV. And also... I

9:29

had a meeting, I went to go and visit a

9:31

finishing school in Switzerland. I thought

9:33

you were in Switzerland. Yes. A

9:35

Finnish school. No. There

9:41

you are. This new hours. It's

9:46

me not working in the afternoon anymore,

9:48

I am honestly. Anyway,

9:51

I was at a finishing school. Oh okay.

9:54

And on...well yesterday at time

9:57

of recording, I go... through

10:00

security at Geneva airport airport security and

10:03

anyway they pulled my bag aside for a routine inspection

10:06

and always fine they handed it back to me but

10:08

as they were handing it back they hadn't actually zipped

10:10

up the bag so literally

10:12

everything fell out bit of a nightmare but whatever

10:14

and they were very apologetic and were helping me

10:16

push it back together. How did they apologize? I'm

10:19

not don't please Jordan's

10:22

when you hear what comes next I don't think at this stage

10:24

I should be doing impressions of the Swiss okay I

10:27

anyway so we're putting everything back and they outward

10:29

fall on my clicker you know when you're doing like a presentation

10:32

you've had a thing in your hand to move the slideshow on

10:34

on the TV and you're at the

10:36

airport well because it's in my bag yeah because my bag is

10:38

my work bag so if I'm doing a training I've got a

10:40

clicker it's been in my bag for years and

10:43

they they pick it up and go sorry watch this I

10:46

said it it's a clicker and

10:48

they said yes it's it's a

10:50

clicker which has a laser in the top of it

10:52

I said yeah because you press it when you're pointing

10:54

at the screen you want to stand back you you

10:57

fire this laser anyway they

10:59

they went off and suddenly huddled and wouldn't give me

11:01

my bag back and a group of them were talking

11:04

and the man came over to me and said are

11:07

you aware that this is illegal in

11:09

Switzerland as of July 23 you have

11:11

a class two laser oh

11:14

my god are you joking and I said you've never

11:16

had any trouble with the law before no and

11:18

I said to him do I look as if I would have

11:20

anything second class which

11:23

he did not find funny so

11:26

I said just

11:30

throw it away I don't need it it's not a

11:32

problem he said no we are going to

11:35

have to phone the police so

11:37

I then sit on this chair

11:39

in security absolute top alone munching

11:41

job's worth oh

11:44

but the topo drone over there is the original shape it's

11:46

not that new shape for

11:51

the lawyers listing Jordan said that not me

11:54

and anyway so these two

11:56

police armed police officers turn up what and

12:00

genuinely and they said please follow me and

12:02

as we were walking down into the bowels of

12:04

Geneva Airport, I genuinely

12:06

thought where are the cameras? Is this Jordan

12:08

and Stu? Is this some sort

12:11

of setup? Are

12:13

you flapping? I was sort of, I was a

12:15

bit, I really wanted to go to the loo, so I was a bit

12:17

irritated. We go

12:19

downstairs, they take my belt off

12:21

me in case I do anything

12:23

silly. They take my passport, everything

12:25

off me and put me in a cell. I

12:27

have got a photograph of the bell. Are you

12:29

joking? No. How did I not, you were

12:31

in a cell? Yes, I sent a picture of me

12:33

in the cell to the WhatsApp group that you did not

12:36

read. What the, you were in

12:38

a cell? I was in a cell. A

12:40

prison cell? In Geneva Airport for

12:42

an hour and a half. Did you miss your flight? Well

12:44

come on to that. What the, how do I not know?

12:47

Oh you poor thing. Yeah. This

12:51

is my cell. What were the showers like?

12:53

So they then bring in this piece

12:55

of paper that says rights and

12:57

obligations of the accused. That I had to

12:59

sign. To say that

13:01

I am accused of carrying this. Oh my god you

13:03

could not write this. No. And

13:07

anyway they said to me, they said we

13:09

will need to send some paperwork to somebody

13:11

about you. Do you have a contact

13:13

in Switzerland? I was like no I do not, I am

13:15

here for business. And the only people

13:17

that I could contact, I mean it is anyone's

13:20

first phone call when they are in a cell,

13:23

is to a finishing school. So

13:25

I had to phone up the finishing school who I had

13:27

only met the previous day. What's the escape for getting arrested?

13:30

And say hello. So

13:34

I am now in a cell. Would

13:37

you mind if your minister of the interior sent you

13:39

some paperwork? Anyway

13:46

so he was fine about it, it was very nice. And

13:49

then they just locked me in the cell. It

13:51

was like being in 24 hours in police custody. And you had

13:53

your phone though? I did at that

13:55

point. Because I had to make

13:57

the phone call to say could I send the papers. Anyway,

14:00

I really, really needed the loo, so I

14:03

have to bang on this heavy, armoured door

14:05

to get their attention. I can't believe this.

14:08

And I said, please, could I go to the lavatory? I

14:10

actually did have to say toilet, because I knew

14:12

they wouldn't understand lavatory. And they

14:14

said, oh, yes, fine. So they leave me around the corner to an

14:16

even worse cell that has a hole in the

14:18

ground. And I

14:20

was left in this room. As

14:23

I'm doing the business, I noticed... What's a

14:25

poo? No, no, no. As

14:27

I'm doing everything, I noticed a previous incumbent

14:29

has carved a swastika in the wall. Oh,

14:31

geez. And this is the cell. I

14:34

mean, 90 minutes ago, I was in the Four Seasons. Now

14:38

I'm here. I

14:41

go back. They then come to interrogate me. They

14:43

ask me how much I earn, how much Mikey earned. Liar!

14:48

What is your occupation? I

14:50

had to say, head kit coach, that was a

14:52

conversation. Liar! And

14:55

then they said, this is my favourite question

14:57

I got asked. Do I have to send any child support payments

14:59

to anyone back in the UK? The

15:02

answer's no for anyone. Oh, my

15:04

God. I mean, they do not know what they think

15:07

I was going to do with this laser. Take

15:09

the plane hostage into a PowerPoint. I imagine if

15:11

you was a political prisoner. Oh, our

15:13

numbers would be great, listening wise. I know.

15:16

A song, Snowden, Hanson. Oh, it'd be great.

15:19

We could do an OB outside

15:21

broadcast on the prison in Switzerland. Me

15:23

and Stu holding up a placard.

15:25

Free William. Free Willy.

15:27

Yes. Hashtag free Willy.

15:31

Can we get that going if you're listening right now? Hashtag

15:34

free Willy. Tag Switzerland in it. Does Switzerland

15:36

as a country have a handle? I

15:39

don't know. Carry on, sorry. This is fascinating. There's

15:41

people listening right now. I can just imagine them

15:43

holding. This is great. So I am left

15:46

in this cell. And

15:48

I do actually at this point now have my phone. They actually gave me

15:50

my phone back. I was going to say, what do you do? Because you're

15:52

out today. Well, I wasn't, Mikey was texting me going, what do you want

15:54

for dinner tonight? And I hadn't texted him. I

15:57

thought, well, I'm not going to let him know, but also I wouldn't worry about

15:59

it. too much about dinner tonight. How long got all

16:02

in all was this? The whole experience was an hour

16:04

and a half and thank god I arrived at the

16:06

airport with enough time. Let's carry on. I had convinced

16:08

myself I was not going to be making my flight

16:10

and they wouldn't tell B.A. because they were like we

16:12

don't know how long it's going to take. They

16:15

did say I probably would miss my flight and

16:17

in the end they brought in all these pieces of papers in

16:19

French that I have signed. God knows what I have signed. I

16:22

just did as I'm told. My laser pen

16:25

is now an in evidence bag. For a

16:27

bloody laser pen? Yes. That cost £20 on

16:29

Amazon nine years ago. I then

16:33

let me go put my belt

16:35

back on and very sweetly

16:37

they were really lovely. They said we will escort you

16:39

to your gate. So

16:41

I then had two policemen escorting me

16:44

through Geneva airport through fast track border

16:46

control through to gate

16:48

C57 to make your flight

16:50

and I had to I was going through

16:52

the motions of trying to make them laugh

16:54

and look happy in case anyone noticed because

16:57

I didn't want them to think I was in trouble.

16:59

Like what you see on those Ryan Air Flaps and

17:01

the drunken? I thought oh it's William

17:03

he's got police protection. I thought there's a one

17:05

in the eye for Prince Harry. I get police

17:07

protecting he doesn't but never mind and we get

17:09

to the gate B.A. I haven't even started boarding

17:11

so that was fine. Did you manage to go

17:13

to prep? No. I

17:16

know you like to get a prep. No no

17:18

water and have anything. I didn't have anything until

17:21

I got to Heathrow. That's horrific. All for a

17:23

laser pen. Well it's a clicker that has a

17:25

class two laser in it. I have learnt my

17:27

lesson. I did not know. I

17:30

will never do it again. Probably not going back to

17:32

Switzerland because I'll probably have a criminal record now. That

17:35

is that's perfect. As my brother says if

17:37

you're going to have a criminal record anywhere

17:39

make it Switzerland. Yeah yeah glamorous. Yeah that's

17:41

true. But it now it now goes

17:44

before a Swiss magistrate or something in a month's time

17:46

and I either have to pay a fine or

17:49

they'll pay that. Yeah don't pay that.

17:51

You won't get blacklisted over here for

17:53

that. Well I don't

17:55

mind about over here. That is mental.

17:57

I cannot believe that. If

18:00

you opt-tip for anyone that does training or

18:02

uses clickers, if

18:04

it's a class 2 laser, it's just not worth it in

18:06

your bag. I don't think it even

18:08

counts in your whole luggage. I think it's

18:10

still illegal. I feel a bit sofy. How was your bunk mate?

18:13

No, I didn't even get one of them. Oh, did you not?

18:15

No, I was hoping to be banged to write. Didn't

18:19

get anything. God.

18:25

That is...

18:27

yeah. Depending on the aeroplane waiting

18:29

to take off, suddenly there's this almighty engine

18:32

noise and everyone starts looking out the left

18:34

side window. And it's two

18:36

fighter jets that were overhead. Genuinely, I sat there and

18:38

I thought they'd come for me. This

18:41

is escalated. They hadn't. I'm a

18:43

free man, I'm here now. I can't

18:45

believe you got arrested. But I'm now

18:47

an etiquette expert, podcaster and dissident. Do

18:49

you have a criminal record? Probably

18:51

in a month's time. We'll keep you updated, GND.

18:53

Hey, what was your up on a CLB? Adjuncts. CLB,

18:56

my name's your up on... What's it called? Basic

18:58

disclosure now. What does that mean? The same

19:00

as CLB. Well, we won't be

19:02

able to do any primary schools

19:04

and stuff. What

19:07

with my laser? No, with your... Well, it's fine.

19:09

I don't really like children, so... With your criminal

19:11

record. Potential.

19:14

Pending. That's mad.

19:17

So, it's like a mug shot of you

19:19

in Switzerland. No, they did

19:21

my fingerprints. That was

19:23

me in the cell, just waiting. He's

19:25

done a selfie in his cell. And

19:27

that was my police escort to the gate. Did

19:29

they take your fingerprints? Yeah. Oh,

19:32

God. My mother's maiden name, my father's

19:34

name... What's your mum called? Sarah. It's

19:38

Sarah Elizabeth

19:40

Monk-Jute-Bount-Batten-Campson-Wallace-Willoughby. Close.

19:42

So that

19:45

was... I

19:47

was so worried, Jordan. I was so worried

19:49

when I heard, but I said to Brian,

19:51

I said, Brian, darlings,

19:54

thank God it wasn't James, because I would be over

19:56

there in a flash, and I would be banging and

19:58

kicking down that cell door myself. James wouldn't

20:00

cope, darling. He wouldn't. I

20:04

deliberately was, other than the Help I Sexed My Boss

20:06

group, I did not tell anyone what was happening. Because

20:09

I knew that Mikey would phone me immediately. Did you not

20:11

tell Mikey? Well, not until I was out. What did

20:14

Mikey say? He thought the whole thing

20:16

was ridiculous. I got banged up once,

20:18

Wakefield, 1984, Friday Night Out with lads,

20:21

work Christmas too. This

20:23

is how, for new listeners, this is how Jordan used

20:25

to sound at the start of Help I Sexed My

20:27

Boss. And there was this lad from a rival Britlaying

20:30

company, and they were giving us a bit of stick.

20:32

And he started out as a bit of banter, and

20:34

then he got a bit personal, George. So I nutted

20:36

him. He weren't the proudest moment. Bouncer took me out,

20:38

so I nutted him. Copper come,

20:40

and I've been rung up proper, so I didn't

20:43

nut the copper. And then we're

20:45

in self at night. When

20:48

I said to William, I said it'll be

20:50

good for you. This is what

20:52

you need. He's lived a

20:54

sheltered life, George, so it'll be good for him.

20:57

But I were worried when he got home. I

21:03

said, oh, me little flowerpot coming here. And

21:05

we had really good sex that night. We

21:07

played prisoners, and I

21:10

worked prison officer, and he worked prisoner, and it

21:12

was really good. It was banging, aye? Anyway,

21:18

in other news, we've got Camp Man

21:20

merch coming. Oh, fantastic. If

21:23

we say it, you'll see it on a T-shirt. So

21:26

a lot of people have actually been messaging saying

21:28

we've got Camp Man. You

21:31

should be getting Camp Man merch. Well, they wanted

21:33

it. They didn't want us to do it. They

21:35

wanted to buy it themselves. We sent some snacks

21:37

in the WhatsApp group. I

21:41

did read that, and my only notes was... Read

21:44

the merchandise. Not when your friend's locked up in a

21:46

cell. I'm not bothered about that. So

21:49

my only notes for the Camp Man was, I

21:51

think we need more spunk flying off his wrist.

21:53

Yes, that's a fun message to get on the

21:55

WhatsApp group. So, yeah, I can't believe that. Well,

21:57

keep your eye on it. on

22:00

socials and on newsletter at the Camp Landmer.

22:02

Now time for William's Etiquette Emology of the

22:04

Week and this week it's how to have

22:07

a sly wank in a cell. When

22:11

you've known what else to do. Did you? No

22:14

I did not! Did you not

22:16

think? Could be an old day. Do you

22:18

know, funnily enough, I didn't find the environment

22:20

at all arousing. No? No.

22:24

You know when sometimes you've got like an hour and a half for it you

22:26

think? Yeah but I didn't know how long I was going to be did I?

22:28

And I wouldn't have done that anyway. That's a lovely wank. No?

22:31

No. Okay. So much felt

22:33

grandkids though, you once had a wank in a

22:36

Swiss cell. Well I'm probably not going to have

22:38

grandkids. Well you never know. Something

22:40

to tell someone else's grandchildren. Yeah there you go.

22:42

Not when they're actual kids because that's weird when

22:44

they're grown up. I also, I

22:46

think it's weird to tell them at any age if I'm honest. Anyway

22:50

after the break I'm going to tell you all

22:52

about spaghetti and the origins of spaghetti. We've talked

22:54

about this recently. Oh. And

22:57

whether you do use a fork, whether you use your hands. So

22:59

continuing that theme I'll tell you more

23:01

after these messages. You

23:04

have literally for the first time in about

23:06

four years finished. Agent

23:08

and a bonnet. Play the ads. Mark

23:29

Ruffalo and Willem Dafoe. Check

23:31

out the new documentary Freakneak. The

23:33

wildest party never told. About the iconic

23:36

Atlanta Street party. And

23:38

Don't Miss FX's Shogun. A reimagining

23:40

of the epic tale. Starring Anna

23:42

Sawai. So?

23:45

What are you waiting for? Go stream something

23:47

new on Hulu. They

23:50

kept shouting at me. Come back Paula.

23:52

I didn't hear them. Because the sound

23:54

from the game was so loud. A

23:56

mining dam burst sending toxic water pouring

23:58

down over homes. 19 people

24:01

were killed and the river polluted.

24:03

I'm Liz Bonin and this is

24:05

Dead River. The story of the

24:07

Fundao Dam collapse. Brazil's worst environmental

24:09

disaster on record. We lost

24:12

everything that day. Subscribe

24:14

to Dead River wherever you get your

24:16

podcasts to hear new episodes as they're

24:18

released. This

24:22

is a paid advertisement from BetterHelp. Jordan, I've got

24:24

a little something for you. Oh, go on. Well,

24:27

this one is a metaphorical little something. There

24:29

have been plenty of actual gifts recently, but

24:31

if I could give you an extra hour

24:33

in your day, other than scroll mindlessly on

24:36

social media, what would you do with it?

24:38

What would I do with it? I'd read. You'd

24:40

read. Yeah, I'd spend a good hour reading. Even

24:42

more reading. Yeah. You love a good

24:45

book. I do, I'm not reading much at the moment. Are

24:47

you not? No. How about you, what would you do? I'd

24:49

do a bit more ironing. Okay, of course. Yes, you know

24:51

I love ironing everything. A

24:53

lot of us spend our lives wishing we had more

24:55

time. The best way to squeeze that special thing into

24:57

your schedule is to know what's

24:59

important to you and make it

25:01

a priority. Therapy can help you

25:03

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25:05

you can do more of it.

25:07

If you're thinking of starting therapy,

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give BetterHelp a try. They provide

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betterhelp.com/sexted. That's better, help.com/ sexted. It's

25:24

William. William the etiquette, geek

25:26

his knowledge. Quite

25:29

unique, they'll give you manners. Manners

25:31

are so sweet. It's time for

25:33

William the etiquette, geek his immunology

25:35

of saving. Welcome back,

25:37

Juneteenthers. For those of you that have

25:39

been watching on YouTube, I had my hands in the air, but then got

25:41

all my stomach. Pits. Oh.

25:46

I've had a long day. Don't spoil things with your

25:48

lower-middle class humour. My idioms are gonna be popping over

25:50

that thought. Do

25:53

you wanna sniff? No, I don't want to sniff. I'd rather be

25:55

back in the cell. You're so weird.

25:59

I'm also slightly worried. I'm worried about how much alcohol you've

26:01

drunk. Halfway

26:03

through this episode. It's got strength in the head,

26:05

that. OK. So we're talking

26:07

spaghetti. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. The name of

26:09

spaghetti derives from the Italian word

26:12

spargo, meaning string, and eti, meaning

26:14

little, funnily enough. Little string. For

26:17

this reason, spaghetti was spelled

26:19

as spaghetti, with R in the middle of

26:21

it, for much of the 19th century. And

26:23

spaghetti in the spelling that we know today

26:25

only comes from the 19th century onwards. Spaghetti

26:28

was previously known. As macheroni

26:31

de napoli, which was

26:33

Naples macaroni, basically.

26:36

Anyway, for a lot of its history,

26:39

spaghetti was eaten with

26:41

the hands. Really? So I

26:43

think based off a comment that you made at some

26:45

point. And oh, and

26:47

we had that dating dilemma where he was eating

26:50

spaghetti with his hands. It's very pre-19th century behavior,

26:52

but of course we're not in the 19th century.

26:55

So basically you grabbed the portion and

26:57

held it aloft and load it into your open mouth.

27:00

And apparently it's obviously still popular in

27:02

places like Burnley and wherever that correspondence

27:05

was from. Up

27:07

until as late as the 19th century, tourists

27:09

came to Naples to gawk at locals eating

27:11

spaghetti. Gawk? Yes. And various mayors tried to

27:14

ban the sale of postcards showing this because

27:16

they thought it was going to give the

27:18

area a bad name. So the fork came

27:20

in. That's basically what changed. And actually, to

27:22

cut a long story medium length, at

27:25

the time, forks were only

27:27

three prongs. No,

27:29

they're four. And it's because of spaghetti that

27:31

that fourth tine was put on a fork

27:34

because you can't really sit with three tines. You

27:36

have to have a four-tine fork. And that's

27:38

why we get the shape and design of

27:40

forks that we know today. OK. So

27:44

the etiquette is not eat spaghetti with your hands?

27:46

No, correctly today. Can you chop it up? No,

27:48

no initially they don't like you cutting pasta in

27:50

any form. You're doing bloody all over. What's up

27:52

with me? I sound like, yeah. I

27:54

was sitting here on GB News all of a sudden, didn't

27:56

I? I can't

27:58

wait to go. I'd say Italian foods

28:01

up there. And

28:04

do you know where you need to go

28:06

for a good Italian food? Creek, Italian, Italy.

28:08

Yes. But

28:11

you can't cut it up. No, and you don't use a

28:13

spoon either. That's complete rubbish. No, I wouldn't use a spoon.

28:16

You just use a fork and your dominant hand upturned and

28:18

you twiddle it against the side of the plate. Yeah,

28:21

I can't wait to go to Italy one day.

28:23

Have you seen... Have you been? No.

28:25

We should do that. Yeah. Hello,

28:27

Amazon Music. I'd love to go. Have you seen

28:30

Stanley Tukey's? I haven't. I mean, I've heard

28:32

all about it. Oh, it's so good. And the guy is so passionate

28:34

about Italy. And he speaks in American to Cameron. Alex Palizzi, our close

28:36

personal friend. She's Italian. And she's Palizzi.

28:38

Oh. Did a whole series on it. I

28:40

can't find it. I never watched it at the

28:42

time and I really want to watch it. But she did a whole...

28:44

So, like, Alex Palizzi is Italy. Oh, okay. Yeah.

28:47

All right. Well, I'm not sure. I'm

28:49

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

28:52

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm

28:54

not sure. Oh, okay. Yeah.

28:58

All right. Oh, he's just reminded me. No,

29:01

not another pet's died. Oh, God, no. No.

29:04

No. Oh, his ashes arrived today. Right.

29:07

At the time of recording. I'll show you. It's

29:09

a fireplace now. That's a good

29:11

place for ashes. Wendy put a little... Frank's

29:14

come home and he's a little... Ashes.

29:17

Oh. It's sweet and it's sorry to bring

29:19

the tone down. And

29:22

where are they going to scatter the ashes or are they interring

29:24

them? I think we're keeping them there. Right. That

29:26

was him when he was a puppy. Yeah. That

29:29

was funny. He was a corpse. No, they've not gotten stuffed.

29:31

They could have had him stuffed. Anyway,

29:36

he's always in our hearts. Indeed.

29:38

Okay. Shall we go

29:40

to the listener's... Oh,

29:43

she did say my mum because I sent her the clip

29:45

last week. I was like, we're about to play this

29:47

out. And she was like, yeah, it's fine. We're laughing about

29:50

it now. But she

29:52

was thinking of taking Frank round to

29:54

Bill and Michelle's because they've got a big chest

29:56

freezer. But Bill had

29:58

just bought... I didn't want a lot of

30:00

steaks. I didn't want the dead

30:02

dogging. Well you don't want

30:05

to put the wrong thing on the barbecue, do you?

30:07

No, and Michelle rightly said, we

30:10

didn't want a dead dogging with the new

30:12

steaks. Which is fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my

30:14

mum was like, I was going to camp out next

30:16

at Freeza for a couple of nights to be with

30:19

him. Bless me. Buy

30:22

your mum a Jess Freeza. Just

30:24

in case anything happens to your dad. Put

30:27

him in there. Yeah. He's

30:30

on leave at the moment. She

30:32

might put him in there alive. He's always had this thing.

30:36

My mum always says, distance makes the art

30:38

go off on the... I think a lot

30:40

of people say that. So he'll come home,

30:42

first two, three weeks is great, and then

30:44

about fourth week, she'll follow me into

30:46

the room and go, he's doing my fucking head in. He

30:49

doesn't go back to work soon. I'm going to swear

30:51

to God, I'm going to bloody strangle him, Jordan, and

30:53

I'll do 15 here, so it's less than Spain. They

30:56

were a lot lenient. I'll do it. I think I

30:58

will. Bless.

31:01

Anyway, listeners, problems and... Do you want

31:03

to do your scripty bits? Okay,

31:06

now it's time for your questions and dilemmas. Remember,

31:09

if you need our help with something, then we would love

31:11

it if you got in touch. You can send your tales

31:13

of trepidation to health at sexatmyboss.com. You

31:15

can DM us, we're at sexatmyboss on socials,

31:17

and can write to William Who in the

31:19

fullness of time. Promises a handwritten reply in

31:21

one of our luxury greeting cards. We

31:25

got cards now. I guess we've been in cards for

31:27

about two years. It's a script for two years.

31:29

Are you joking? You've read that for two

31:31

years. And we got cards. Not

31:34

letters. Yeah. Do we send

31:36

cards now? We don't do anything.

31:38

I... Some

31:42

of us have jobs outside of this. Some

31:45

of us have brushes with the law.

31:49

What are the cards like? They're the

31:51

Chris Lloyd cards. Oh,

31:53

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With

31:55

exactly the same envelope suggested on the

31:57

website, sexatmyboss.com. Listener's

32:00

problems and violinists please. I'm

32:02

not drinking. Again. I

32:30

think this is a great question. And

32:44

we should use this as an example most of the

32:46

time we get into the jute. Yes. This is

32:48

the best question I've had this year. Oh, with

32:51

it? Yeah. And

32:53

I don't know where I am on it. I

32:55

think this is a poll on insta. I

33:00

would say I would worry about the

33:02

present rather than the past. It's

33:04

easy said to done now. Because if you

33:07

don't worry about the past in front of

33:09

the present, the present may also be the

33:11

past. Wow.

33:13

Okay. And there's many people listening right now

33:15

and I think they'll agree with me. Yes,

33:18

we don't like to take that high ground,

33:20

but deep down we're all jealous bitches. And

33:23

we are. And I genuinely don't know

33:25

where I am on this. I

33:28

really don't. Yeah,

33:30

actually, you can't ask someone to

33:33

do that. I believe on Instagram

33:36

there is an archive feature.

33:38

So you're not deleting, you are just pushing,

33:41

you're hiding them. But you

33:43

can still see the likes and the comments and you

33:45

can go back and should you split up with your

33:47

current person, you can go back and sort of unarchive.

33:49

Although I still think that's a bit weird. Instagram

33:53

is my only argument is

33:56

when you're moving with someone, you won't

33:58

want pictures of. of their ex.

34:00

And Instagram is like a modern version of

34:03

a photo gallery. And you wouldn't want like,

34:06

am I being weird? You wouldn't want like bits

34:09

of their items in the house. We

34:11

absolutely wouldn't. Would you? No. So Instagram,

34:14

but then it's weird to go back and delete everything. I'm

34:17

really on the fence with it. I'm really, because then

34:19

it is weird to go back and delete

34:22

everything. Like, they never existed. That was five years

34:24

a big part of your life. Yes. Yeah. You

34:26

wouldn't go back and delete. I'd

34:29

archive. I would absolutely prioritize the presence.

34:31

Let's do a poll on that. That's

34:33

a good one. Because I don't. Well,

34:35

and also, obviously, I don't have any

34:37

exes. But if G&D was have any

34:40

of their own sort of stories and ways

34:42

that they have resolved it or anecdotes, get

34:45

in touch with it for a weekend release.

34:47

Okay, good luck. This is from Beth from

34:49

Milton Keynes. Dear William Jordan

34:51

and team, I have a problem with my neighbor

34:53

who lives opposite to us. You see, they still

34:55

have their Christmas decorations up. We

34:57

see them every day and it is quite an eyesore as

35:00

they have stickers and decoration in the window, which are bright

35:02

red. We aren't close with them.

35:04

So I don't feel comfortable popping over to point

35:06

out that their decorations are still out after two

35:08

months. What would you do in this situation? Many

35:10

thanks, Beth from Milton Keynes. Send a

35:12

really nice note. And

35:16

then if they don't reply, send a really shitty

35:18

note. Okay. Written in

35:20

blood. I wouldn't do that. No,

35:23

just send a note saying, hey, from

35:25

your neighbors, I've seen this on TikTok. And

35:28

it's like, we do like make

35:30

a joke about it. We don't want

35:32

to, hey, we don't want to be

35:34

those neighbors. But is there any chance

35:37

we can take your Christmas decorations down?

35:40

It just be nice. If you need

35:42

a hand, we're more than happy to help out. Lots

35:44

of love, your neighbors. And if

35:47

you don't just take your decorations down, your

35:49

scruffy gets. I'm going to say

35:51

something very different. It's their house. They

35:53

can do what they like. Oh, so

35:55

if you, your neighbors still had the Christmas decorations. I

35:57

would absolutely tag them off to left, right and center.

36:00

but it's their house. They'll tell

36:02

you about my neighbour, I'm like, now I'm

36:05

not worried about it. That neighbour? No,

36:07

no, no, there's on our street. Yeah.

36:09

I'm on dog shit watch, honestly. Oh

36:12

yes, because your street lets the area down, doesn't

36:14

it? That's what you said, because the

36:16

accounts don't send the lorries down. No, I've told you

36:18

how, there's dog poo on there, and

36:20

I've whittled it down to two people, so my

36:23

curtains are constantly twitching. You

36:25

really are becoming a mother. I really am, and I really need to

36:27

get back into work. Yeah. Well,

36:29

it's coming. But I've got

36:31

two suspects. I've got like a

36:33

board up in one

36:36

of my rooms, and it's like,

36:38

you know, like the bill, and I've got drawing

36:40

pins and a piece of string connected, and I've

36:42

got two suspects, and I'm going to, as soon

36:44

as I catch them. Can we talk about what

36:46

you told me when I came around at New

36:48

Year, that your upstairs neighbour, having psyched him off

36:51

about being a Randy bastard, actually listens to this

36:53

podcast? Wasn't my upstairs neighbour? No. Was

36:56

it? No, you're getting them exalted.

36:58

So there was one next door,

37:00

and they've moved out now. Oh, okay. But the

37:02

two lads that live upstairs, yeah, they're

37:04

the ones that I want to be friends with, because they're young and

37:06

cool. And I tell you,

37:09

he brought a parcel round the other week.

37:12

Did he? Yeah, and it was like half nine at

37:14

night. Obviously, they were probably just about to go out.

37:16

I was getting ready for bed. Yeah. And he

37:18

went, oh, he passed away. I went, oh, hiya. You all right? And I went, do

37:20

you want to see me dartboard? Like

37:24

a toddler, when you need time. And he went, yeah,

37:26

sure. So then I thought it was a bit weird.

37:28

I've got this young lad all the way downstairs. And

37:30

when you say young, 25. All

37:33

the way downstairs. And half

37:36

nine at night, I mean, me slippers playing

37:38

darts with a stranger in my spare room. Oh,

37:42

it's a bit weird, though. But

37:44

he's a good lad. We have a bear room. Shut

37:46

up. He won. Shut

37:49

up. Anyway, have you seen my

37:51

dartboard yet? No, I haven't been round. You need

37:53

to get us round for darts. Oh, you and

37:55

Mikey coming round for darts. I want

37:57

best dart player to start a weight field. Oh

38:00

God, oh cracking thoroughfrore I

38:02

was. Yeah, but no, the

38:04

neighbours next door, they moved out. Oh,

38:06

and did they listen? No, they

38:08

didn't. Oh, okay. But the way the story was told

38:10

to me, it made it sound as if they

38:12

were all the same people. No, she was

38:14

loud. Okay, well, it's good to know

38:17

you felt like you were on the plane of that

38:19

poor pleasure being chosen. Whoo! Jesus.

38:22

Jesus. Beth

38:28

from Milton Keynes to go back to just

38:30

to summarise what we said. Jordan says write

38:32

a letter. I say tough. You could. I

38:35

could sort of combine both of our

38:37

opinions and you could send them a Christmas card. Sort

38:40

of slightly passive aggressively in the middle of March. Happy

38:42

Christmas. That's a good shout. And hope they

38:45

get the message. What else have we got? This

38:47

is from Mark from Cheddar. Hi boys.

38:50

Whoa, we should go Cheddar Gorge.

38:52

Cheddar Gorge, Wookiee Hole. Yeah,

38:54

it's a cave, isn't it? Yes, the Wookiee Hole witch. When

38:56

we lived in Tidworth. Where's Tidworth? Somerset.

38:59

Wiltshire, Hampshire. Wiltshire, yeah. Yeah,

39:01

Wiltshire. Yes. Yeah,

39:03

we used to go Cheddar Gorge. Cheddar Gorge.

39:05

Caves, yes. Oh, it was called

39:08

Witches Fingers and all that were in Burnley.

39:11

There is a witch

39:13

at Wookiee Hole. Yeah, it might have been there. Oh,

39:15

Cheddar. Is that where the cheese comes from? Yes.

39:19

Is it? You know Wensudale? It's

39:21

where that cheese comes from. Oh, right. Oh,

39:24

where's Darry Lee? Look,

39:29

I was processing that joke in my

39:31

head and you got there first. Is

39:33

there an actual place called Red Leicester? Well, there's

39:36

a place called Leicester. Yeah, right. That's where

39:38

it's from. And I

39:40

think it voted Labour. Is

39:42

that where it comes from? Yes. Getaway.

39:47

Mozzarella. No. I'm

39:49

not at school with her. Give us another cheese.

39:51

Oh, I don't know. Rubochon. Kefili.

39:54

Kefili. Oh, it's... I

39:56

think Gouda is a place in the Netherlands. Getaway.

40:00

Yeah. What

40:02

about Emmene-tal? Emmenthal.

40:04

Emmenthal. Where's that? In

40:06

the Netherlands. Is it? I believe.

40:08

What, we just Google that? Isn't there

40:10

a Lancashire cheese as well? Yes, Lancashire

40:12

cheese. Well

40:15

that's another famous

40:17

cheese. Where's, erm, what's the

40:19

really smelly one? Stinking Bishop.

40:22

Is that a place? That is named

40:24

after Justin Welby. It's

40:28

not, he doesn't smell. He smells lovely. The

40:30

last time I pressed my nose up against the archbarish of

40:33

a Canterbury, he was lovely, this little orby cut. Hi boys.

40:36

No you didn't. Carry on. Hi

40:38

boys, my girlfriend and I were visiting my mum with our baby

40:41

boy a couple of weeks ago. My

40:43

mum lives in a tiny house, so when we stay over

40:45

we sleep on a sofa bed in the lounge. As

40:47

you can imagine, sofa beds are very noisy and

40:50

we never did anything sickly at my mum's house.

40:52

A few days passed and my frustration was

40:54

getting the better of me, so I decided

40:56

I would go to find the dirty laundry basket.

40:59

When I got there I found my girlfriend's underwear.

41:03

I took a big sniff and started rubbing my

41:05

face into the crotch. Hear

41:07

me out. A lad

41:09

I used to play five a side told me that

41:11

this one's funny to miss this one. So

41:14

it's not the first time I've heard it. But

41:16

whilst I was getting into it, the door opened and

41:18

I saw my girlfriend just standing and staring at me.

41:20

Oh God. She asked what I was doing so I

41:22

explained I was feeling corny so I was sniffing her

41:25

pants. Oh my

41:27

God. She

41:30

paused for a moment and then proceeded to tell me that they were

41:32

not her pants, they were her mother's. Oh look

41:34

at her. Oh

41:38

Jesus. Oh

41:41

Jesus. How

41:47

do I recover from this? Mark from cheddar. Well

41:49

Mark from cheddar, it sounds like

41:51

you didn't... Finish.

41:54

Finish. Finish to

41:56

that smell. So it could have been worse. Could have

41:58

been worse. Yeah,

42:03

shit, that's pretty bad. Poor

42:06

Mark. Mark, it's... Well,

42:09

I think you've learned a lesson, hopefully, Mark. Yeah,

42:13

my advice to that is just,

42:15

I'd keep that between you and your girlfriend

42:18

and your favourite podcast. Yeah.

42:21

What would you do? How would you recover from that? I

42:23

just don't think I would. I'd probably want to crawl into

42:25

nowhere as Wookiee Hell and die. Okay. Yeah.

42:32

This final one is from Keira. Hello, Jordan,

42:34

William, Ben and Stuart. I'm sorry to hear the news about

42:36

Frank. It made me want to write in with something of

42:38

a similar nature that I could use your advice on. Oh,

42:41

okay. I don't know how long... A lot of

42:43

people have met. I genuinely don't know how long

42:45

it'll take to defrost a dog. Would

42:48

your trays work? We could

42:50

have sent one and I might... Done in half the time. Yeah. People

42:53

have been getting those trays. Charlene

42:55

on Instagram, messaged the other day to say

42:57

that she had got one. We've started a

43:00

craze. I had started a craze. I genuinely

43:02

think we should just put this out there. If your

43:04

dog or pet dies, probably not best to put them

43:07

in the freezer. I

43:09

don't think it's advisable. Anyway.

43:11

Remember when my brother killed my Tamagotchi in year three and I

43:13

buried it in the garden? I

43:16

was very cross. This

43:18

is from Keira. Oh, sorry.

43:20

Now listen, we'll put you in the freezer, Roger. Oh,

43:23

bless him. We've not mentioned that

43:26

Chairman Emeritus Stewart's dog, Roger, is

43:28

here. He's taken over from Diego.

43:30

You bastards! You

43:32

two-timed bastards on the fixers,

43:35

dog! But

43:37

Roger's here, Stewart's dog. Roger's already come in a harness.

43:39

Look at him. He's lovely.

43:42

Roger's from Manchester. You all right? You

43:46

all right? I think Roger's a

43:48

little bit camper than that. The angle's got any

43:50

beef. I'll knock him out. Clean out me. Chat

43:53

shit, get bangs, you know what I mean? All

43:56

right, Roger. We will. So, Roger's here. You

43:58

bastards! Honestly, you're all

44:00

dead to me, you bastard! Bad

44:03

as... I'm gonna knock

44:05

him out if he carries on. I'm sorry,

44:07

you know, I'll spark him clean. You know,

44:09

lads. BASTARDS! It's bad enough! My

44:11

mum and dad have got away and pissed off

44:13

across half the world! And

44:15

you've left me here and now I'm not even the

44:17

sex-tipped dog! Oh, shut up. Yeah, I don't... I'm like,

44:20

I don't know how I'm going. Okay. Shall

44:22

we get on to Keira's lesson and we can all get home? My

44:27

auntie- Oh god, I need to get back into work. My

44:31

auntie was on a walk in the meadows near her

44:33

house when she came across a deceased owl. My

44:36

auntie thought it was a rare and beautiful bird and

44:38

didn't want to leave it there, so she carried it

44:40

back to her house to have it taxidermied. My

44:43

cousin came home from a night hound and

44:45

went to look for a late-night snack in

44:47

the freezer, and pulled out what he thought

44:49

was a wrapped-up joint of meat. Only

44:51

to discover it was actually a frozen

44:53

owl. Jesus. Fast

44:56

forward- The bird's eye! Oi! Fast

44:59

forward five years and the owl is still in

45:01

her freezer, and has become a family joke that

45:03

we discuss every time we get together. On

45:06

a recent meet-up, we decided to Google how long

45:08

you can preserve a frozen owl for taxidermy before

45:10

it goes bad, and the result said four

45:13

hours. Jesus. She's added a frozen owl

45:15

in a freezer for five years. Everyone's

45:17

got a mad aunt. Even

45:19

after discovering this information, my auntie still won't get rid

45:22

of the owl, so my question is, how do we

45:24

convince her to get rid of the freezer-burnt owl? Should

45:26

we just make our peace with this and let it

45:29

continue being a long-running joke and a weird

45:31

topical conversation that many family functions?

45:33

Thanks, Keira. We've all got a mad

45:35

aunt. Aye. But I think

45:38

there's something a bit deeper

45:40

here. Mm. It's keeping a frozen owl

45:42

in your freezer. Mm. It's-

45:46

There's a lot maybe going on there, so... But

45:49

she definitely needs to get rid of the owl. I

45:51

would- I think you need to get rid of it

45:53

for her. Yeah. In the interest of food hygiene, just

45:55

take it out. Chuck it-

45:57

take it to the tip or something. Mm-hmm. I

46:00

think there's someone here that's a bit of an owl Bit

46:03

of an owl? Yeah In what way?

46:05

Someone here's a bit of an owl I'm

46:08

waiting for the punchline No, there's some... I just can feel

46:10

it Someone here's a bit of an owl I know what

46:12

you want me to say You want me to say... Okay,

46:14

sorry, let's go along with it Who?

46:18

So I don't know what my advice is here Well,

46:20

what's the joke? Who?

46:23

But it's to wit to who? Who?

46:26

Who? You but owls go to wit to who? There's

46:29

a shit joke I

46:31

really need to get back into work Who's

46:34

your mad aunt? Who's

46:37

my normal aunt? Question

46:40

Yeah Auntie Maggie's quite Have you met

46:43

me Auntie Maggie? Probably No, she's dying

46:45

to meet you I thought you were

46:47

about to say she's dying I've never... I've never... I've

46:49

never met you I've never met me Auntie Maggie

46:53

I can't remember Have you not met

46:55

her? Is she one of the 48 people on your

46:57

guest list for the Manchester Tour? Yeah, okay, she's coming

46:59

Oh great, well I'll meet her in May Yeah, you've

47:01

met our Paul That's

47:03

the mum Right Mags, Margaret

47:05

Okay Lovely Paul

47:07

Yeah I've

47:10

got mad aunt Mandy Who you have met Oh,

47:12

I've got a cousin Mandy Yes, I know Mandy

47:14

who thinks that she drowned on the

47:16

Titanic in a previous life and can't listen to Celine Dion

47:19

Which I have told her is completely unrelated to the Titanic

47:21

sinking Don't forget your husband also thought he was on the

47:23

Titanic in a past life No, no, no, he thought he

47:26

was Anne Boleyn Oh, that's it, yeah Which

47:28

is why he can't go near rattan furniture Okay

47:31

Keira, you need to get this owl out of

47:34

the freezer Where

47:36

would you put a dead owl? Could you

47:38

pin it? With a tip, really You can't

47:40

take a dead owl tip Have

47:42

you seen that owl fussy there on

47:44

your tip? Have you been to tip reaches? Yes, I have

47:46

actually That goes there, that goes there What would you do

47:48

with a dead owl? Landfill

47:51

Or you just put it in the middle of a lawn at

47:53

night and let nature take its course No, no That

47:55

could potentially happen Right Don't send it in,

47:58

whatever you do We're

48:00

not signing an unstead hour. Thank

48:02

you, B Questions and Dilemmas. Thank you, GM

48:04

D.V.S. We'll see you on Friday. See you

48:06

Friday! They

48:13

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48:15

didn't hear them. Because the sound from the

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48:21

sending toxic water pouring down over homes. 19

48:23

people were killed and the river polluted. I'm

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48:31

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48:33

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