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Hello, I'm Robbie Knox, the brand new

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a podcast where we invite guests to create

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their dream pub. I'm here with Dan Trelfer

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to tell you why The Moon Underwater is the perfect

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pub podcast. We give guests the

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chance to create their

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ultimate ale house. Guests get to share

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some of the best pub stories they've collected

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over the years. We all get absolutely

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hammered while we do it. I think

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that might just be you, Dan. Just search

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for The Moon Underwater wherever you get your

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podcasts.

1:07

Hello and welcome to our

1:09

weekend release. This is the bonus podcast episode

1:11

from Help I Sex My Boss, where we can see

1:13

how much extra content we can squeeze

1:15

into your week. It's random things that have been

1:17

sent in, extra bits from our week, and how our

1:19

advice went down with you, our G and Divas.

1:22

You went for a massage yesterday. I did,

1:24

yes. After all that book signing, I needed

1:27

some tension release. Now, I am

1:30

not a massage-y person. Some people either love

1:32

them, others hate them. I detest

1:34

massages. Never really had one in

1:36

my life. I think I had

1:37

one and hated it, but I felt

1:39

I needed one. Apparently, I've got a very knotty

1:41

back. Oh, it's the stress.

1:44

Yes. It's all the executive tension that

1:46

I carry in me. Well, anyway, I mean, I had it done.

1:48

I mean, I hated absolutely every second of it, but

1:51

my back did feel better at the end. I had

1:53

one recently, and I've

1:55

only ever had, I think this would be my second

1:58

or third.

1:59

I highly recommend it, but I like a firm

2:02

massage. It's a deep tissue. Yeah, so

2:05

at one point she had her elbow dug in. She's

2:07

like digging her elbow in, and it's great. And

2:09

you're like, hmm, I fell asleep as well as snoring

2:11

at one point. And then at the end of it. How could

2:13

you fall asleep? At the end of it, it was when I was in

2:15

Devon a couple of weeks ago. Oh, okay. At

2:18

the end of it, and they're like playing oil music, and

2:21

she had this steam coming out at the end of it.

2:24

How was that? Steam? It's like this

2:26

little mist thing, just to set the end

2:28

in. At the end of it, it was really

2:30

nice. She went, all right, my love.

2:33

Now we're done. I'm just gonna pop out the room,

2:36

and

2:36

I'll be back in a minute. And I was like, oh, she was great.

2:39

Nice, lovely. How long was yours?

2:42

An hour. Oh, no, you had 30 minutes. It

2:44

was meant to be an hour and a half, but I

2:46

was like, I'll pop it in. You finished early. Yeah, story

2:48

of my life. So for an hour, it'd be fine. Yeah,

2:51

good. Well, obviously this is our Friday

2:54

bonus, but when we come back next week

2:56

on our Tuesday, we've never

2:58

done this before. Slightly dreading

3:00

it, but it's gonna be fine. We're going to

3:02

do a Halloween themed episode. Oh.

3:07

Okay. I can't stand Halloween.

3:09

I think I'd rather have a four hour massage than

3:11

do about one minute of Halloween, but... We've

3:14

done Halloween episodes before, I'm sure. Not

3:16

where we've dressed up, Jordan. But we are

3:18

dressing up in a

3:21

very familiar, but a very different

3:23

way. Okay. Okay? Right.

3:26

So we'll see how that goes out. I think

3:28

I've got the easier ride, as it were.

3:30

Oh. I think you've got it harder

3:33

than me. Oh, I'm intrigued. But we'll find

3:35

out on Tuesday. So any little kids now, can you do a

3:37

Halloween? You won't give them any sweets. No, tase

3:39

them. You can't tase the children

3:42

who've talked about this. Well,

3:44

don't knock on my door. Did you never go trick or treat when

3:46

you were my dad on Halloween? No, because we lived in the country. There was nobody

3:48

around us. Yeah, but it could've took you to a local

3:50

estate. No. No? No.

3:54

No, they didn't. I had something nephews

3:56

once around, but I made it class. I'm

3:58

sure it was. What's

4:01

the going race in Burnley? What do you give

4:03

the kids? Sweets, preferably

4:06

in a bar of... You can give them a pack of bar of bar of bowels, just

4:08

get loads of sweets in. OK. Yeah.

4:11

If they give you a digestive biscuit, just take the house.

4:14

Malzapan fruit? No. No. I

4:17

did get once a French fancy, and

4:19

I thought that was good. They were giving

4:21

out French fancies. Ooh, I'm suddenly in the mood

4:23

for a French fancy. Mm. Pink,

4:25

yellow or brown? Ooh,

4:28

I'm going to go for a yellow. Oh,

4:30

OK. I'll have the pink one. Yeah. What's the brown

4:32

one? Chocolate. Oh. What's

4:35

the pink one? Strawberry. What's the yellow one?

4:38

Lemon. I mean, you don't need to... Oh, no. I'll have

4:40

the lemon one. You don't need to be Alan Turing to crack that

4:42

code. No, I don't like lemon. I'll

4:44

go for the pink one. OK. Strawberry

4:47

or brown. Lovely. OK.

4:51

OK. Well, I think, Jordan, so exciting.

4:54

I really want a French sandy. French

4:56

fancy. It's

4:59

time for another Etiquette Explained. Whee!

5:02

Now, as you know from social media,

5:04

William has gone viral because of his

5:07

Etiquette Tip videos. So, on our bonus,

5:09

we like to pick one of the videos that William's posted, and

5:12

then we get him to elaborate a bit on it. This

5:15

week, we went with your iced coffee etiquette

5:17

video. Yeah. Very fitting at this time

5:19

of year. Yeah, you're probably not drinking iced coffee at this time of year anymore,

5:22

but when I posted it a couple of weeks ago,

5:24

it was probably just on the cusp. I

5:26

was very into iced coffee this summer. It's

5:28

good. It's very refreshing, isn't it? Yeah, I've never

5:30

had it before. Do you have it black or with milk? Without

5:32

milk. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

5:35

I used to get them every day on the way into work. Did

5:37

you? Well, I hope you drunk them politely. OK. Now,

5:40

here is the audio of my tip. I think it's

5:42

up to seven million views. I've

5:44

got a low-performing one on social media.

5:47

Drinks with a straw like this

5:50

are bound to annoy your co-workers when

5:52

there are a few crops left. We

5:54

don't want to hear any of this. Awful.

5:59

Instead, this is where you...

5:59

I swear you'd make

6:03

this shit up as you go along.

6:13

Well there is an element of that, but that

6:15

is correct, just to get it. Look,

6:17

again, you work in an office, I don't really work

6:19

in an office, when I'm working not here, I'm

6:21

at my own desk. But it would be terribly irritating

6:24

to hit the door. Imagine

6:26

if everyone in the office was doing that. So you're saying take

6:28

the straw out. Have the straw to

6:31

begin with, when it is fun of

6:33

coffee, iced tea, whatever you're having. It

6:35

doesn't matter if it's not coffee or tea. But

6:37

then when it comes to those last few dregs,

6:41

down it, not use the straw. Yeah, but it's better

6:43

out the straw. That's

6:45

fine. What about a milkshake, because you can't really

6:48

slurp it, you've got to slurp the milkshake. Same

6:51

thing applies. Use the straw

6:53

for most of it, bring the boys to the yard,

6:56

take the straw out, down the rest

6:58

of it. I've not had a milkshake for years. I

7:01

used to get a milkshake at McDonald's, and then

7:03

when you find out how many... Strawberry, chocolate or lemon? Strawberry.

7:07

There's always strawberry. And when you find out how many calories

7:09

are in a milkshake... Oh, is it bad? It's

7:11

five million, nineteen, twenty. I mean, if you're

7:13

listening to this thing, it doesn't matter how old

7:16

you are, live your life, but yeah.

7:18

I think the milkshake's pretty much the same as the

7:20

burger, isn't it? Or

7:22

more.

7:23

Yeah. Looking bloody good. Do you

7:25

have any... obviously, when you go into work, it's

7:27

an office environment. Are there any sort of bad habits

7:30

that other people do that annoy you, whether

7:32

it's drinking from straws or not? I

7:34

don't know how people can work in open plan offices.

7:36

I'm very glad I don't have to work in one. Would that do your

7:39

editing? Absolutely. Do you want me to do

7:41

it? Stop talking to me. A lot of people say

7:43

now they get more work done when they're at home, because obviously in

7:45

the office you get stopped and stuff. Yeah, and people

7:47

chat and oh, they want to be

7:49

a friend. That's part of the office environment.

7:51

Well, it shouldn't be. It should be single offices

7:54

or maybe sharing two people. I'm just used

7:56

to it. What? In an actual room. Yeah.

8:00

Is it? They're all open. I've only ever

8:02

known an open plan office. I mean, I don't mind if you want

8:04

to have glass walls. That's fine. I think it's better for

8:07

all sorts of reasons to have visibility.

8:10

Do you? But I don't

8:12

want to hear what's going on over there. But that's

8:14

not part of office gossip. Like when Mikey

8:16

and I have to work from home together and we have separate desks

8:18

thankfully but not separate offices. Just

8:20

me as you know. Second bedroom. As

8:23

I'll study. Like if he starts talking to me

8:25

or puts music on, I can't hit the roof.

8:28

I remember an old job. She'd keep us up to

8:30

date on her... I think it

8:32

was her husband's... he had a boil

8:34

on his douchebag. What?

8:37

What? On his... the bit between

8:39

your arse and your balls. The

8:41

bit of his... Douche. Douche. What's

8:45

a douchebag? I have no idea. It's called

8:47

Kelly Osborne used to call it your douchebag. Anyway,

8:49

on his gooch. She used to keep us up to date on that.

8:52

Sometimes a lot of them. And there in

8:54

one little anecdote

8:57

is the reason why you should have glass offices. Okay. Anyway,

9:01

let's go on to the listeners' responses. This is from Hayley

9:03

from Cornwall. Another opportunity

9:05

for you to do your Southwest accent. You are.

9:08

Good afternoon boys. I have a question for William. Oh. Why

9:11

is a wake called a wake? As it's clear,

9:13

the person whose wake it is isn't going to wake

9:16

up Hayley and Cornwall. Excellent question. That's

9:18

excellent. I don't know if it's a drop in my head, but

9:21

I will do that for an eschatomology. I'll

9:23

research it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Thank

9:26

you. Yeah, we'll do that next week for next week's episode. Well, I don't

9:28

know when I'll do it. I'll put it in the system. I've

9:30

already got Earl Grey to do as well. Well, all

9:32

right. But I'll do it at some point. People

9:36

do 14 hour days digging

9:38

up roads and you're winding because you've got a googled

9:40

wire wake to call the weather. Come

9:43

on. Excuse me. Get

9:45

real. Some people are on the feet all day

9:48

working in shops and stuff and you're winding because you've

9:50

got a googled wire wake. He's going to cry. Excuse

9:53

me for your feature. All you do is read out bad jokes from

9:55

other people. Yes, but at least I come prepared.

10:00

I'm

10:02

going to punch you in the face. The scripts were

10:04

shared in the group chat last night. Oh!

10:09

The scripts were shared in the group chat last night.

10:13

I did actually because I changed it but William explained

10:15

Shas Jordan challenges or agrees. Oh

10:17

yeah, I ended that one this morning. This

10:22

is from Jean. Hi, William and Jordan. After

10:24

I heard William laughing at Jordan talking about poor

10:26

Frank the dog, I had to write in

10:28

with my inappropriate laughing moment. I

10:31

giggled away at my grandmother's funeral as the vicar

10:33

has a microphone on him during the hymns

10:35

and he was the worst thing ever. My

10:37

shoulders were bouncing up and down trying to contain

10:39

my giggles and a lady behind me placed her hand

10:42

on my shoulder and whispered, We all miss her

10:44

too. Thank

10:47

you, Jean. Yes, there is

10:49

something about funerals that are quite funny because

10:51

you're not meant to laugh. My cousin

10:53

got me some tissues. I was

10:55

crying at my grandma's funeral. That tissue

10:57

should pop out a pair of knickers and I was like, We

11:01

just laughed.

11:02

Yeah, and I think, yeah, I think, a

11:05

lot of people laughing is the tonic

11:08

that they need to cope with grief. And my cousin,

11:10

I'll never forget this, told me about the best jokes I've heard at my granddad's

11:13

funeral. Our poor. I

11:15

said to you about the jelly baby that went to the doctors and

11:17

an STI. Shagging all sorts.

11:22

You see, that's a joke

11:25

that would have worked nicely. The granddaddy's funeral

11:27

before it went in. I was about 12 as well. I

11:30

was getting daggers from

11:32

my family. I didn't laugh. No,

11:34

I cried. And this is from Andrew. Hi,

11:37

William, John and E.P.B. On a recent episode during

11:39

William's eticatomology about the word posh,

11:41

John brought up the history of why we hoses call

11:43

the English poms. While

11:46

the Prisoner of Mother England story is

11:48

a widely held belief, it, like the

11:50

Port Hount Starboard Home reason for the term posh,

11:53

is not supported by evidence. The more

11:55

likely source of the term is believed to

11:57

be that when new immigrants arrive from England,

13:23

powers

14:00

called fat bastard

14:02

right

14:06

have you thought never said it's

14:08

so funny even stink

14:12

would see that that stinks no

14:15

no okay are you have

14:17

you watched them recently are

14:19

you actually going to watch them back and go mmm I

14:21

think my level of humor has risen

14:24

up to the sophistication of Kevin and Stacy

14:26

I mean I mean stop pumping the laser right

14:29

start the car dr. evil the one heard

14:33

of dr. Eve and there's

14:39

a what was the body on it

14:42

spoke like that his skin used

14:44

to peel and used to pull his skin off and

14:46

eat it and go well shave that for later where's

14:48

your fosha

14:49

your fosha

14:51

well it sounds absolutely hilarious

14:53

really good probably I answer

14:55

it for a while so if it's really problematic GD it's probably

14:58

hugely problematic so you don't come out because

15:00

I've probably I've seen it for about 20 years right

15:03

well that gives me time to do I remember if you've

15:05

got a question a story that isn't a dilemma or problem

15:07

this is the place where we can read it out so drop into

15:10

our DMS on social media or send us an

15:12

email to help it sex of my boss dot-com

15:14

with anything that you want to share of us

15:16

we also love hearing back from the people we offer advice

15:19

to so if you get back in touch with

15:21

producer Ben Beyonce's in one of them sorry

15:24

Beyonce's in one of the

15:26

I was those right hmm for

15:28

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15:30

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15:32

of my boss

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fresh for everyone. Hello, I'm Robbie

16:41

Knox, the brand new host and landlord of

16:43

The Moon Underwater, a podcast where

16:45

we invite guests to create their dream pub. I'm

16:48

here with Dan Trelfer to tell you why The Moon

16:50

Underwater is the perfect pub

16:52

podcast. We give guests the chance

16:54

to create their ultimate ale house. Guests

16:57

get to share some of the best pub stories

16:59

they've collected over the years. We all

17:01

get absolutely hammered

17:03

while we do it. I think that might

17:05

just be you, Dan. Just search for The Moon

17:08

Underwater wherever you get your podcasts.

17:15

Have you ever Googled your own name? Prepare

17:17

for a shock because your personal info, including

17:19

addresses and phone numbers, is all out

17:22

there. It's all harvested by data brokers

17:24

and sold legally.

17:26

Aura is a personal digital security service

17:28

that scans the Internet for your sensitive information

17:30

and provides a full suite of privacy enhancing

17:33

tools. For a limited time, Aura is offering

17:35

listeners a 14 day free trial at Aura.com.

17:39

That's A-U-R-A.com

17:41

slash safety to learn more and activate

17:43

the 14 day trial period. Hello, I'm

17:45

Robbie Knox, the brand new host and landlord

17:48

of The Moon Underwater, a podcast

17:50

where we invite guests to create their dream pub.

17:52

I'm here with Dan Trelfer to tell you why

17:54

The Moon Underwater is the perfect

17:57

pub podcast. We give guests the

17:59

chance to create... their ultimate ale

18:01

house. Guests get to share some of the best

18:03

pub stories they've collected over the years.

18:05

We all get absolutely

18:07

hammered while we do it. I think

18:10

that might just be you, Dan. Just search

18:12

for the moon underwater wherever you get your

18:14

podcasts.