0:01

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

0:08

What's up, shitheads? Welcome

0:14

back to another episode of High and Mighty. It's

0:17

me, your boy, the

0:19

number one fuckboy, standing

0:21

six foot two, 302 pounds. That's

0:24

right, he's coming down, but still above three bills

0:27

from the south shore of Nassau

0:29

County, Long Island, it's

0:32

Johnny G. All you got

0:34

to do is trust me. Jackson Maine from A Star

0:37

is Born, still part of this bit,

0:39

huh? Yep, that's right. Abortion

0:41

is healthcare. That is important and always

0:43

will be, but Jackson, I feel like you

0:45

need to be replaced soon, but not

0:48

yet. Also joining me behind my spear is my nearly silent co-host,

0:50

Arthur Gabrus. Arthur, give him a shout out. Arthur's

0:52

in the living room staring at my mom,

0:55

his mom, my wife with intense

0:58

separation anxiety. Also joining

1:00

me in the High and Mighty Studios, first time

1:02

guest from the Versus Podcast,

1:04

we got Adam Peacock

1:07

and Kaitlin Hempstead.

1:09

Yeah. Yeah, buddy.

1:11

Here we go, baby. This

1:14

is great. This is nice. This

1:16

is great. That feels really good. This is great.

1:19

So you were referring to your wife as your mom. Can we

1:21

get into that? Yeah,

1:24

she's technically my stepmom, just

1:27

to keep with trends.

1:31

She's stuck in a dryer right now, Jack? Yeah. I

1:34

don't know. She's reaching for something deep underneath

1:36

the coffee table and is unable to get

1:38

out.

1:39

Get out there and help her, man. Grease that

1:41

woman up. We should really

1:43

unpack that as a nation as to when porn

1:46

directors became children of divorce

1:50

and all step stuff got involved.

1:53

Because it's the dominant thing now.

1:55

It's not even like, oh, this is taboo. It's

1:58

just porn. Yeah. It's

2:00

hard to watch something that isn't step

2:02

siblings or stepmom and kid.

2:07

It's really weird. I sometimes have to like,

2:09

I just want to be like, oh, she's

2:12

hot. Let me watch this one. Then it's like, I

2:14

don't really need the stepmom thing. All right, I'm

2:16

going to just ignore it. And I'm a story

2:18

guy. That's the thing. That was so hard.

2:21

It's like I'm a character

2:23

person and I want to think my teeth and like, why this

2:25

is happening? That's

2:29

what I miss the most. I mean, I guess that's because back

2:31

in the day,

2:32

we're old enough, or I'm old enough,

2:34

shouldn't speak for everyone, but old enough to have

2:36

watched full porn. Like

2:39

not like not that I ever made it like the 90 minutes

2:41

through, but like it had like that.

2:44

Okay. All right. 88 minutes could never

2:46

go any longer. It was, it

2:49

always felt like there was like an overarching story.

2:51

So some of these scenes meant something. And then when those were

2:53

clips would get pulled, then they would start making

2:55

just scenes. Then it became like weird,

2:58

like casting couch and amateur stuff.

3:00

And now it's like the scenes they are making

3:02

are all like your dad would never do this to

3:04

me. And you're like, Oh,

3:07

come on. What

3:10

happened to the nice people just having sex? I like

3:12

the ones were like the porn

3:14

star shows up as herself and there's an exchange

3:16

and they just have sex. And that's it.

3:19

That's the stuff that I like. You want Riley

3:20

Reid to be like, hi, I'm Riley Reid. I'm

3:22

going to take money for this sex now. I'm

3:25

consenting. I wear two grownups. They shake

3:27

hands. Now that's

3:28

hot to Adam. To

3:30

me, I like it all being above board

3:33

and sorted out before. Yeah.

3:35

I want to see them sign the consent forms.

3:40

I don't need any headaches.

3:44

God damn it. These, the red tape on these pornography

3:47

is driving me fucking warm. I think

3:49

the first porno I found in my house, it was like a same

3:51

thing, John, like an hour and a half. And there

3:53

were, I think four or five sex scenes, but there was a

3:55

lot of like, there's a house party and we can't

3:57

leave the house.

3:59

Yeah.

3:59

My first porno for the neighborhood

4:02

was Passenger 69 Part 2. It

4:07

had a really poorly made

4:10

skydiving sex scene where

4:12

clearly it was just a box fan

4:14

and they were with a blue background

4:17

and had

4:18

a backpack with two strings

4:20

that went out of frame. They're doing

4:22

standing 69-ing and all

4:24

this humping and stuff. I remember just thinking like,

4:27

this is like peak cinema. I

4:30

love Passenger 57. It

4:33

was funny that there was no black dude in the movie and

4:35

that was something me and my friends got into. It was

4:37

like, Passenger 57 has the famous sign, always

4:39

bet on black, feel like that

4:41

works in a porno as well. I

4:44

think that's the reference to a movie. I

4:48

don't know, maybe Passenger 69 Part 1 never

4:50

saw it so I was always a little lost in Part

4:53

It really quite understood everyone's motivations.

4:56

Maybe he died in the first one, yeah. Oh

4:58

shit, yeah, like John Cutter. Wesley's

5:01

nice character's name. Of course! I

5:05

can't even confuse him on that. Oh

5:08

my god, I put the wrong one on at American

5:11

Cinematic. Everybody

5:12

came here to watch the porno, another guy. Another's

5:15

so bored. What's up ladies and gentlemen,

5:17

we're the Action Boys here to premiere. Oh no, wrong

5:20

one! Looks like we're the porno

5:22

boys now.

5:25

I'm so stoked to hear

5:27

more about your guys' new podcast but that'll

5:30

come at the end. But for now,

5:32

you guys mentioned action

5:34

figures in the pitch and

5:36

maybe in a moment of a

5:38

fugue state mentioned action figures and

5:41

forgot it but I am pumped

5:43

to talk action figures. And

5:45

I'm not an action figure adult but

5:47

I was a big,

5:49

had a bunch when I was a kid,

5:51

was curious about this because once

5:54

this was on the docket to talk about,

5:56

I've noticed that like kids

5:57

still have action

5:59

figures. and dolls you would think that

6:02

might be the toy that goes

6:04

by the wayside it feels like

6:07

technology would get us past that in some way

6:09

but trucks

6:11

and fucking action

6:13

figures and dolls that shit is

6:15

just

6:17

permanently what it's been working since like the

6:19

30s or something I mean yeah

6:22

baby

6:23

dolls are fucking weird to me anyways

6:26

yeah so like you mean like when a young

6:28

child has a baby and they like when

6:30

a little toddler is yeah correct yeah nine

6:32

months old at nine months old

6:35

and

6:40

we all just accept it why this

6:42

happened can I tell you the context under which

6:44

I said

6:47

it was

6:47

right after you ran into someone who looked like me somewhere

6:50

oh shit okay I knew it was you oh

6:52

my god we think we ran into each

6:55

other

6:58

anyway what happened was I was thinking

7:00

about how like on our podcast

7:02

I feel like I often get to pick the character

7:04

that I want more and on my podcast where

7:07

we talk about conspiracy theories I get to talk about exactly what

7:09

I want but on Adams individual podcast

7:13

he doesn't get to like be

7:16

himself and really talk about things

7:18

that he loves and loves and a thing that keeps happening

7:20

on versus is Teenage Mutant

7:22

Ninja Turtles will come up and we'll talk

7:24

about some action figures that he badly

7:27

wanted and I just thought you know maybe

7:29

this is the platform

7:30

finally finally for him to

7:32

I love this I love

7:34

this yeah I think that I think that makes total

7:36

sense yeah you don't have to contend with like

7:39

I'm Freddy Krueger's glove maker and

7:41

now you have to deal with like an

7:43

extended improv riff where I'm the guy

7:45

who makes gloves now like this is better

7:47

we could just talk we could just be grown-ups

7:49

talking toys just right hold

7:52

write that down because we should do that later yeah

7:54

I say fuck you

7:59

let's let her rip I Did

8:02

man I fucking I grew up I was a my

8:05

mom was a single mom and I was an only child

8:07

and I got spoiled rotten I

8:10

got I mean that those ninja turtle things

8:12

I keep bringing up to Kayla I'm just guy I had them all when

8:15

I was a kid and I broke them all like I broke

8:17

all their little weapons and Toys so for

8:19

one Christmas my mom re-bought

8:21

me all the figures in the little carrying case

8:24

and that was underneath the Oh my

8:26

god. Oh my god now. This is just

8:28

gonna be like me Relitigating my shitty

8:30

childhood of like oh If

8:33

I broke something it would be like we would melt

8:36

it back together with lighters Like we'd

8:38

be like we can't we can't not have the fucking

8:41

Leonardo sword. He's a fucking cuck without

8:43

his sword Yeah, we were using that word a lot in

8:45

the early 90s

8:49

gay jokes and slamming on Well,

9:01

we have used them plus a few you haven't even

9:03

heard yet What

9:05

about did you have the? Ninja

9:08

turtle van that shot the pizzas

9:12

Or I think I had the van Here's

9:14

the thing also every once in a while I pitch a toy

9:16

to like a friend my angel bike did you have

9:19

this thing and they're like ah no

9:21

I'm a toy expert I've never even heard of that. I've

9:23

googled it and then I realized it's

9:25

like some toy I like dreamed of having

9:29

There's a good chance people are like shoots pizzas

9:31

and I was just like a little fat kid was like

9:33

if a gunshot fully Loaded pizzas,

9:36

that would be awesome. Oh, I'm 41 and

9:38

that still sounds great. Yeah, do you

9:40

love clippers games? They'll shoot

9:43

anything out of a cannon. Oh, man. Imagine

9:45

a pizza cannon that kind of sprayed

9:47

the cheese oil and like something like It

9:50

didn't really come out fully complete as a

9:52

pizza Just kind of shotgun spread the ingredients

9:54

all over if we talked about this before i'm sorry But did

9:56

you guys ever see that tom green clip under

9:59

cutters?

9:59

Now,

10:01

it was a bit on his show where he would drive around with

10:03

a tackle box full of pizza ingredients and he

10:05

would follow delivery drivers to somebody's house

10:07

and then he would run up on the person delivering the

10:09

pizza and offer to make them a pizza for less

10:12

money. Like

10:14

in their house? In their house.

10:16

I think I'm there for you. I'll make this for you but

10:18

for less. And one guy did

10:21

not, he did not do well with it. What

10:24

do you mean? Like he threw up? No,

10:26

no, no, no. You could just tell like he was a delivery driver

10:28

that was like maybe on a second or third strike

10:31

and he was like

10:32

this was it for him and he went after Tom Green. It

10:34

was pretty funny.

10:35

It's funny how many comedy shows the premise

10:37

is like fuck with a small business owner and

10:39

hurt them. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's

10:41

why I'm having a fielder. I grew up, I

10:44

grew up on Jerky Boys which was all about

10:46

like. Oh yeah. Yeah. And it was just

10:48

be like eventually you'd be like man how many times

10:50

did they call just a random pizza place?

10:53

Like these guys are just legitimately

10:55

bothering people. I mean in hindsight

10:57

I was doing a lot of prank calls back

10:59

in the day. Sure. Were you? What like

11:02

the classics or were you thinking of fun new bits?

11:05

The classics we would always, once

11:07

we were in like late high school early

11:09

college we would do the butt for try to get

11:11

them to say well what's a butt for and then you

11:13

go for pooping silly. I think that was from

11:16

South Park. And I'm,

11:18

we also used to do stuff like hey

11:20

like just try, in

11:22

hindsight it's like fucked up like mental

11:25

games where we would be like now can you

11:27

just come outside and place

11:29

your shoes outside your door so we can, like

11:32

we would just in college we would just try to get

11:34

people to do weird shit like yeah

11:36

and it's right and this is Marina's Pizza. You will

11:38

win a free order of pizza and wings.

11:41

Okay we just need to confirm that you are in

11:43

fact a Marist student. You can leave your sneakers

11:45

outside your dorm building and like and

11:48

we would just be watching their door and

11:50

be like thank you very much like

11:52

no and then go try to steal their sneakers or some

11:54

shit like that's a fine line like

11:56

you said earlier John between mass murderer and comedian.

11:59

Yeah. You're like just just fucking

12:01

with people if you have the power to

12:03

do that you have the power to be like all right now

12:05

Climb into that van all right perfect. Yeah,

12:08

I know there's a tarp on the ground But don't worry about

12:10

that that one guy did it at McDonald's

12:13

right did he make somebody like? That's

12:15

what I was thinking about employees. Yeah, that's

12:18

what I was thinking about forget what the name of that movie that

12:20

they made a movie of It a dramatization of this event,

12:22

but someone would famously

12:24

call infamously call

12:26

fast-food restaurants Accused

12:29

and pretend to be someone high up at the corporation

12:32

accuse an employee of stealing tell

12:35

another Management employee

12:37

to take that employee aside and

12:39

can and but would eventually get them to some

12:42

weird Line crossing boundary

12:44

crossing shit like lock them in

12:46

the fridge tell them to remove their clothing And

12:49

it would be like this power game And that's what I

12:51

was thinking of what when I was when

12:53

I was watching that movie I was like fuck man like

12:55

I

12:56

There was a time in my life what I'd be like this

12:58

is so funny He's got it, but like then

13:00

you're watching this movie You are absolutely

13:02

shook And then it's like this is based on

13:05

something that really happened to people and you're

13:07

like this is a person's life Yeah, I'm like

13:09

oh my god you fucking monsters, and I was like

13:11

wait I kind of did something similar, but it was goofy

13:13

Yeah, no for me. It was fun. Yeah, but for

13:16

me. It was fun. Oh right better

13:18

In your defense, I think it's

13:20

kind of like how they test a bunch of weird like project

13:23

or products on college students

13:25

Or

13:25

you know how like every sort of psych research study

13:27

is mostly college students because they're just sort of easy

13:30

to get to Yeah, I think like that's what

13:32

you it's different when it's college students It's

13:34

like if they come out a little fucked up like their

13:36

brains college is gonna do that to them anyway

13:38

sure

13:39

They still have neuroplasticity

13:41

is gonna do it to them anyway

13:42

Stanford prison experiments Yeah,

13:44

that was good, and I liked that. I'm so

13:47

glad yeah, I can't wait to do one

13:49

myself I want to be awarded so bad

13:54

That's an awesome picture of Sheriff Joe Arpaio

13:56

you have behind you He's

14:01

a big guy to me.

14:04

One of my first, I think my first

14:07

ever

14:08

movie audition in my career. You

14:10

know, like early on in your, maybe whatever,

14:13

early on in my career, I felt like my agents were

14:15

like, yeah, just put them up, like just tell them, go

14:18

in for these like four movies because he's new. And

14:20

I was going in for these things that sound, I went

14:22

in for this, for something called The Experiment,

14:25

which was a movie about the Stanford

14:28

prison experiment. And I think Adrian

14:30

Brody ended up being in the movie or something,

14:32

and no one ever saw it or anything like that. But

14:34

I think, cause that's why I remembered

14:37

hearing about that experiment in like AP

14:39

psych or whatever. And then it like went out

14:41

of my brain. And then when I was like, well, I got to

14:43

do some research back when you like didn't just

14:46

go like, okay, what is this? All right. My

14:48

character's name is Hank. I'll say three lines, not

14:50

get it. And we all can leave like, but

14:53

back then I was like, let me Google Stanford. And I'm like, Oh,

14:55

oh yeah. And then I got like really deep

14:57

into that one. I

15:00

know. I really love those old

15:02

school psych experiment. What's the one where they

15:05

were shocking people, fake shocking people

15:08

in the other room and the person in the white coat was like,

15:10

continue

15:10

pressing the dial. And it was like, don't

15:12

do anything a Nazi says. Right.

15:15

And it wasn't hooked up to anything, but the

15:17

people would just fall. They would

15:19

be like, ah, someone's please stop. Please

15:21

like don't stop. Keep pushing it. And

15:23

it proved like showed how few people actually

15:25

stopped pushing it. Like despite it seeming

15:28

to do severe damage to someone. I

15:32

think they then go back and figure out like,

15:34

no, like because it was recorded,

15:37

they played like the most shocking versions

15:39

of it, but something like 87% of people were like, no, that

15:43

makes sense. Yeah. I'm not

15:45

going to hurt another human being. And then the remaining person were

15:47

like, yeah, Milgram, Milgram,

15:50

something like that. Yeah.

15:52

So speaking of Milgram experiment,

15:55

let's take a look at the toys. Watch this.

15:59

What is it about figures

16:02

and dolls that we like? Is it because

16:05

we see our parents hopefully

16:07

holding us and playing with us? Or

16:10

is there something inherently

16:13

powerful about manipulating small

16:15

humanoid things like I have

16:18

power and control and agency over

16:20

this doll? What

16:23

is the psych behind that? Let's hypothesize

16:26

why it's a stickingly powerful

16:29

thing. I

16:31

feel like if they did, they can go to ancient Egypt

16:34

and find crumbling dolls buried

16:36

with pharaohs and shit like that. Why

16:39

were those pharaohs always dying as children also? Why

16:41

are there so many little boys? Yeah,

16:43

man. They've got to look both ways before they cross the street.

16:46

They're getting creeped out. Stop putting kids in charge.

16:48

Sam

16:48

Chares. I think, yeah. Well,

16:50

I mean, this brings up something specific

16:52

and dark for me.

16:54

Oh. Good question. By the way, that

16:56

is Caitlin's normal response to most

16:58

kids. Yeah.

16:59

I'm not so much a comedian as a

17:01

bummer. Hey,

17:04

always a pleasure to have you around. I'm wrong.

17:06

Let's bring up the boom. I'm

17:08

emotionally. I wanted to talk about

17:11

Ninja Turtle. She jumped on the Stanford Prison Experience.

17:14

Yung at me. This

17:17

is where her purvey pairs.

17:19

Mars, Venus, Petco. Women

17:22

and men.

17:23

Men always want to laugh and women ought to make you

17:25

feel bad. Wait,

17:27

so do tell Caitlin, I'm curious.

17:29

I was extremely into Polly Pocket,

17:32

which are just as tiny as you

17:34

can make a doll. And they can do stuff.

17:36

They have little hip joints and stuff. It

17:39

was like a handheld

17:39

doll house, more or less.

17:42

The locket would close up to be

17:44

a cross section of a house. I

17:46

remember that because it was

17:49

the Rock and Robin parody theme

17:51

song to the commercial.

17:53

Wow, I don't. Rock and Robin. Yes,

17:55

Polly Pocket. Polly Pocket. Ooh,

17:58

Ooh, Polly Pocket.

17:59

I need to advertise that shit to me. I think I saw

18:02

them in a friend's backpack once and was like, please,

18:04

I need to dole sauce when I can put it up my nose.

18:06

Yeah,

18:07

please. I got to go to the

18:09

emergency room ASAP and get the thing removed.

18:12

Well, that one makes that one's crazy.

18:14

Yeah, keep going. Sorry, but that's a specific one too. Because

18:16

if you think if

18:17

keeping the hypothesis that it's something about control,

18:21

all of a sudden you are like the like you can

18:23

run a little Sim City of Polly Pocket.

18:25

Well, on the subject of control, my

18:27

friend Nikki Bauman and I are favorite game to play with

18:30

Polly Pocket suicides.

18:32

Oh, favorite game. All right. Yeah,

18:35

just that quote there was favorite game. Got

18:37

it. Yeah, not like only

18:39

game where we like tortured a little helpless

18:42

creature, but like favorite. And

18:44

so we would like we had like the Polly Pocket mansion,

18:47

which was probably like the size of a shoebox. And

18:49

we would just think of ways for Polly Pocket to kill themselves. And

18:51

they would like, like tie things to their feet

18:53

and jump in the pool and we make them like jump in the pool.

18:56

Put them in the garage and turn on the car.

18:59

Wow.

19:01

I mean, this is highly knowledgeable

19:03

about methods of suicide for a couple

19:06

of young kids. Yeah.

19:07

Yeah.

19:08

Yeah. You guys are being a little bit mod fans.

19:12

You do sound like Bud court from Polly

19:14

Pocket goes to the doctor because she's

19:16

decided she's at the end of her life. She's

19:18

trying to get euthanasia. Like, oh,

19:20

they're working in. My

19:23

favorite game was baseball.

19:27

I really liked playing baseball when I was with you.

19:29

Okay. I was I was kind of split

19:31

because I liked baseball, but I also did love

19:34

Polly Pocket suicide. Yeah.

19:37

Yeah. And whenever

19:39

I wanted to play baseball, I had to go talk

19:41

to the school counselor.

19:45

Yeah. How did we know so much about murder?

19:47

Anyway, yeah. So I think that was some sort of

19:49

like a like power trip. I'm a god

19:52

of this world. Was that your experience with action

19:54

figures? Well,

19:55

there's something certainly there to

19:57

where you're like, you know, lighting

19:59

them on film. or you know like oh

20:01

no this happened to them like

20:03

I there is that

20:06

I

20:06

getting toys was a little

20:09

bit it changed a little by the time my youngest

20:11

brother was like of getting toy age

20:13

my parents I think had a little more money and a little bit

20:15

more like why were we so withholding

20:17

with the other two so

20:20

I think like we had such like a parent

20:23

like getting a toy or getting like you'd

20:25

go to your friend's house who had like the entire

20:27

GI Joe commands mobile command unit

20:30

and like 400 figurines and

20:33

they would just be like oh I lost one to me

20:35

and my brothers it was like we had like fucking

20:37

beachhead and like one other guy we're

20:39

like we cannot lose these we

20:41

cannot fuck with them too much like we

20:43

would lose like you know mecha

20:45

next fucking harness or whatever it would like

20:48

break our heart like yeah yeah

20:50

we and like we can never get new ones we

20:53

could get new toys but if we can never

20:55

cop to losing stuff I'm from I say

20:57

this way too much in the podcast but I'm from the generation where

20:59

you would get in trouble for things that were an accident

21:02

like for like standard

21:04

eight-year-old like whoops dropped up my bowl

21:07

of pasta that's what you would go like yell

21:09

dad or spanked and you're

21:11

like purpose

21:13

of that and I remember like

21:15

other kids not having that be their experience

21:18

I like lost my trombone or something

21:20

that we were renting from the school and I was like I'm devastated

21:22

I'm really sorry and my parents

21:25

were clearly on this tipping point of like

21:27

do we yell at her she's already

21:30

crying like go to your

21:32

room but when you're there you can do

21:34

whatever you like

21:36

the generational angst they must have felt

21:38

yeah it's so funny that's and that's the

21:40

same generation it's like of course you can come

21:42

to me with anything yeah

21:46

you got me not to trust you

21:50

sorry mom and dad but anything I've ever told

21:52

you got me immediately in trouble so I'm

21:54

gonna just go to school with no jacket on

22:00

experience. You're

22:02

grounded. God

22:04

forbid. I was like, mom, I think I knocked a girl

22:06

up. You know what I mean? Like, God, the shit I would get in trouble

22:08

for was so much lower stakes. Like,

22:11

I remember being like 14 or 15 and

22:13

like having a screaming match with my parents and

22:15

being like, do you have any idea how lucky

22:17

you are that I'm your fucking son? Like,

22:19

the shit you're getting, like I was like grounded forever

22:22

for like, getting in

22:25

like disciplinary school trouble because

22:27

I just couldn't behave in school. It was not for me.

22:29

And it was like, I was like,

22:31

you have no idea that kids in my school are

22:34

like doing opiates. What

22:37

the fuck is your problem? Like, I was like, you have

22:39

no way. I'm like,

22:40

every teacher loves me. I'm

22:42

charming, but they hate me because I'm disruptive.

22:45

Like, there are like legit bad kids

22:47

doing drugs, smashing windows and

22:49

shit. And I'm just like, like

22:50

the Giuliani School of Parenting where it's

22:52

like, oh, if you let them get away with a little thing,

22:55

like broken windows, then they're

22:56

going to become mad murderers. Yeah,

23:00

it is true. It is a little true. And then

23:02

you'd be like, you know, then you get older and your parents

23:05

would be like telling stories about like when they were

23:07

fucked up, like doing fucked up kid shit

23:09

with like pride. Yeah, we snuck

23:11

into the school after dark and we did. And I'd

23:13

be like, you would beat my ass

23:15

raw if that, if I did something like that.

23:18

A lot of them were drinking and driving related to, they

23:20

were like, well, they pull you over. They just make you dump it

23:22

out that you had it as long as you get home safe.

23:27

I recently watched a video that was like a

23:29

news story of reactions to

23:32

when drinking and driving became illegal.

23:35

And like, you know, like those old news stories were like,

23:37

well, what do you think Mr. Peacock about

23:39

them building a new farm? And it was

23:41

like, these guys are like, I can't have

23:43

a few pops after work. Just

23:48

getting people on camera being so on the

23:50

wrong side of history of like, I actually

23:52

get a little relaxed and drive, like everything

23:54

we now know about it is so fine.

23:56

That's the only time I get to myself after work.

23:59

And then I got to go home. my goddamn kids

24:01

are there. Right? Yeah,

24:04

you don't get to tell

24:04

the news that you hate your kids

24:06

anymore, which is too bad. That's

24:08

a bummer. You can call in anonymously and just

24:11

let them know, but that's not really a story

24:13

or anything like that. Yeah, I should think about

24:15

that. Sounds good. There's way less pride in parents beating

24:17

the shit out of their kids with their other friends. Yeah,

24:21

thank God that's fallen off a little. Sure,

24:23

yeah. Yeah. It's like, any one of

24:25

my friends who's a dad, I'm like, could you imagine

24:27

screaming at your kid for dropping

24:29

something? And they're like, God, no. I

24:32

can't even scream at them for school issues. I

24:37

used to be like, you failed the fucking test?

24:39

Now I'd be like, come on, son, let's discuss

24:41

what you need to do here. It's like,

24:44

I'm so stupidly envious of

24:46

my peers, kids. That's very sweet.

24:50

Just seeing your friends be

24:52

so supportive of, I think I'm

24:54

going to get them a keyboard. They keep talking about liking

24:57

the piano. I was like, I was showing

24:59

the movies for like 20 years and my parents

25:01

were like, you have to be a lawyer. I was like.

25:05

I told my parents at five years old I wanted to be

25:07

in TV and they were like, absolutely

25:09

not. Oh, you want to be a movie song? Is

25:12

that going to pay for your food? It's like,

25:14

word for

25:15

word, Adam, have you been talking to my mother, Annie

25:17

Hempstead? Because please,

25:18

go up

25:19

and talk with her. Not to fully back

25:22

Annie Hempstead on this, but I am having

25:24

trouble getting food. Oh, yeah, yeah, no.

25:28

I can't believe they should have been a little more supportive,

25:31

but also they were realists. Yeah,

25:34

we're shit talking a whole generation, but it doesn't mean

25:36

they were wrong. Yeah. I

25:42

don't

25:42

know. I feel like your mom was probably like fostering

25:44

your dreams and shit from. Oh, I

25:46

got so lucky. My mom was the best and she

25:48

still liked that. But I think I, John,

25:51

you were talking about getting into a fight with your, I got into one

25:53

fight with my mom and I don't even remember

25:56

what it was over. But I remember

25:58

I said something and I think, Kayla, I'm a. I've been

26:00

told you this I said something and I thought I won the argument And

26:03

like I turned around to start walking away out of

26:05

the kitchen It was very quiet and I thought

26:07

to myself it's too quiet And she was coming down on

26:09

me with like a huge wooden spoon and

26:11

I saw that look in her eye I was like fucking

26:14

kill this kid if I get my hands on him and

26:16

she chased me through the house just like

26:20

She was right I probably had it coming

26:23

I had a comment Okay, but you

26:25

do the earlier point

26:26

like can you imagine? Striking

26:28

a child like not

26:30

I don't know things were different

26:31

I think I was like 15 or something though so

26:33

that might have made it a little oh yeah I'd punch a 15 year

26:35

old for sure yeah, I don't know stock them in

26:38

the stomach right now. Yeah, I thought they were 18 Yeah,

26:41

give them the fucking Dane Cook

26:44

ID They

26:46

were in the club the

26:49

same most excuse oh No

26:52

John Stamos

26:53

wait who am I thinking of no it was

26:55

the other one Rob Lowe

26:56

Rob Lowe, thank you.

26:58

I'm sorry to that man. Yeah,

27:00

I'm positive if you look through Stamos

27:02

history He's got nothing ever remotely

27:04

resembling that based on his stature

27:07

and his generation or whatever He was in 1982 like of course

27:11

He's

27:14

the drummer on Kokomo, but we're not here

27:16

to slander the oikos oikos

27:18

spokesperson Mm-hmm.

27:20

We're here to talk dude along those

27:22

lines. I one of my

27:24

most like The thing that makes me

27:26

kind of shudder in the shower kind of

27:29

regrets in life And it's not even that big of

27:31

a deal But it's just I'm

27:33

embarrassed by it mostly is

27:35

when I was younger Getting in a fight

27:37

with my parents or an argument with my parents and

27:39

me

27:40

Lying like I swear

27:42

to God I did turn in the assignment

27:45

and I know I'm lying and in hindsight

27:47

now that I'm a grown-up There's no way they didn't

27:50

know I was lying It's not fucking

27:52

digging my heels in and I'm like how come you

27:54

don't believe me with like tears in my

27:56

eyes And that is just more. I'm just

27:59

like embarrassed myself of like, really?

28:01

That's where you made the stand of like, I

28:03

didn't know the project was due. How the fuck,

28:06

you know, and you were just like digging in and I'm like,

28:08

I swear mom, you don't even fucking

28:10

trust your own son. You know, like overly

28:12

dramatic and shit. And you're like, Oh my God,

28:15

I did that too. I, and I

28:17

feel really bad about that. Cause I was raised

28:19

better than that. And that lady didn't deserve that.

28:24

Yeah. I can't speak to being raised better than that, but

28:26

I should have been raised enough to know

28:28

that. Like, but just

28:30

in that, those are the biggest, I, that fucking

28:33

drunk. I even have anything to fucking drink.

28:36

It's like, there's no way

28:37

my mom can't tell on two AM

28:39

on a Saturday. And like, Robbie

28:41

dropped you off. I can just

28:44

ran home from the bot from the school

28:46

yard where we were drinking. I was playing manhunt.

28:48

You're like 14 years old. Oh yeah. A lot

28:50

of, I would play capture the flag. Yeah.

28:53

Ran. I rounded myself one. Uh,

28:57

I had

28:57

so much. Internalized guilt as a child. It's

29:00

Yom Kippur. So I think I should talk about this.

29:02

I was so, so guilty.

29:05

We'll be coming out in late June. Perfect.

29:10

Let's circle back to some other miserable Jewish holiday.

29:14

Uh, I, yeah, I like, I did,

29:17

you, you had to like, get your parents to sign off

29:19

on your homework assignments and

29:21

like say like, yes, she like complete

29:23

or like, yeah, the teacher would, Oh no, the teacher would

29:25

send like a weekly thing that was like, if

29:28

you did all your homework assignments, your parents sign

29:30

it and I like missed a couple of assignments that week

29:32

and I forged their signature. And

29:34

I, uh, gave it back to the teacher and

29:37

immediately just started like shaking with guilt

29:39

and shame and got home and was like pale

29:42

and crying.

29:42

My parents were like, what? I was like, I

29:45

forged your signature on my homework report.

29:49

And my memory of this for my entire life

29:51

was that my parents

29:52

disinvited me from dinner. Like

29:55

they didn't ground me, but they were like

29:57

going out to eat at like,

29:59

who knows?

29:59

fresh choice or something and we're like, I think

30:02

that maybe you should not come with us

30:04

tonight and stay home and think about it. And

30:06

a couple of years ago, I brought this story up with my mom and she

30:08

was like,

30:09

no, I remember that you disinvited

30:12

yourself from dinner.

30:13

Oh my God. I don't deserve

30:15

to eat with you. I don't

30:16

deserve to go to the buffet.

30:18

But please bring home mozzarella sticks. Then

30:23

I'll know you still love me. That's

30:26

really fucking... I called 911 on

30:29

myself once because I started a fire. And

30:34

I got brought home in a cop car at 13 years old. And

30:38

I had like a little World Cup 1994,

30:41

like Italia had on, like red

30:44

and green flag and shit. I just

30:46

remember the cops like,

30:48

that's a nice hat. So you're

30:50

and of course, you know, my parents weren't home.

30:52

Surprise, surprise. That's why I'm at a school

30:55

starting fire with shoplifted lighters. Shoplifting

31:00

and arson really were,

31:03

you know, coincided pretty strongly for my

31:05

early teen years.

31:07

There's so much worse than school,

31:09

mom. You don't even know. Right. Yeah,

31:11

this was one of the bad ones. But

31:13

this is where my heart of gold shine through. The

31:15

second I saw

31:16

people in their yards with hoses fighting

31:19

back to fire as it spread across the

31:21

entire school, I was like,

31:23

no,

31:24

my school, my elementary school was like a

31:27

suburban block size. Like

31:29

the field had like four baseball diamonds

31:31

on it and like the playground and all

31:33

this shit. And the grass was so dry and like

31:37

August or whatever. And it just,

31:39

so I called 911 and

31:41

got to like sit in the cop car and get

31:43

brought home. My parents weren't home. They're like, do you

31:45

have a neighbor that you could go to? So I went to like

31:48

my buddy's house and I was like, Joey, can

31:50

your mom like take me from

31:52

the cops or whatever? So

31:54

this is like my neighbor's mom had to call my mom's

31:56

like, Jonathan just got dropped off by a cop

31:58

or whatever. I

32:01

luckily went to a week-long 4-H camp

32:03

that next day and didn't

32:06

have any overlap time with my dad, the real

32:08

disciplinarian.

32:09

Oh yeah. Again, they'd already paid for

32:11

it. They'd already paid for it so they were

32:13

pulling that away. In hindsight,

32:15

them sending me and my brother to sleep away camp for

32:17

a week is a dream come true for them

32:19

as well. I

32:22

go to sleep away camp. I come home and my

32:25

mom's friend, a friend of another kid

32:27

that I went with, his mom drives us home, drops me

32:29

off. My dad doesn't get off work till midnight.

32:32

It's like 3.30 p.m. or

32:34

whatever. I go to sleep. I'm like,

32:36

I'm so tired from a week at camp. Go

32:38

to sleep at 3.30 p.m. and I sleep

32:41

till 24 hours more or less. I

32:44

sleep till the next afternoon and I'm trying

32:46

so hard to not get out of bed. I

32:48

have to go to the bathroom so bad and I'm like,

32:51

I know I can hear my dad pacing around. He's

32:53

just waiting for me to wake up. When

32:57

I went to bed, I'm like, I'm exhausted. I'll just sleep

32:59

until my dad forgets about my punishment.

33:02

I get off to go to the bathroom. He's like, Jody,

33:04

let's go. Get in the car. I have

33:07

to get in the car. Your dad Donald Trump?

33:10

He did really sound like that. He

33:12

really had like Donald. He had the New York

33:14

accent and then also that weird. The

33:17

little congested. It just

33:19

sounded like that. Cleed, you're

33:22

rude. That's

33:24

what he would yell at me and my brothers. Cleed, you're goddamn

33:26

rude. But

33:30

he just made me stare at the field and

33:32

sat in the car and looked at me until I started

33:35

crying. I wasn't even doing

33:37

it to get out of it. I

33:39

just really started weeping. Then he got in the car.

33:42

He's like, blah, blah, blah. He grounded

33:44

for the rest of the summer until he'd go back to school or

33:46

whatever. All this. I was like,

33:48

ugh. I just remember standing there looking

33:51

at it and I was like, I do feel bad

33:53

that I did this. I already

33:55

did. It's upset

33:57

me. I feel bad. Now here.

33:59

I am like oh, but I remember

34:02

that distinct feeling of like

34:03

Maybe I won't get in trouble and then boom

34:06

you know like hey wasn't your you know that

34:08

feeling of like

34:09

don't the report cards You know or like yeah,

34:11

Adam P. Cox mom said the report cards came home.

34:14

You're like yeah Waiting

34:18

to get in trouble is worse than the trouble

34:21

100 it's easier to be grounded

34:23

than it is to like find out what's gonna

34:26

happen to you I think I got lucky because listening

34:28

to you guys every every time that I had an example

34:31

like that of either You know

34:33

not doing what I was told or whatever.

34:36

I always ended up in the hospital Cuz

34:40

I didn't hurt anything. I just hurt myself

34:43

like my mom told me I'm

34:45

thinking of three my little scar on my nose

34:47

my mom told me to stop jumping on the bed

34:50

when she was a little kid And she was doing

34:52

something in my room She's like cleaning or doing something

34:54

or in getting me ready and I was jumping up

34:56

and down in the bed And I had it still in her basement

34:58

filled with a lot of these action figures that we're talking

35:00

about I fell off the bed

35:03

and racked my face right off the wood

35:05

edge of it split my nose open The

35:08

day before kindergarten she told me to stay

35:10

inside get ready for school I went out and played

35:13

my cousin broke my leg. I ended up

35:15

in the hospital for that And

35:18

then the way you raised that too sounds like

35:20

he just was like alright, sorry Adam you

35:22

lost now You know what have money or something?

35:25

Put your leg on the curb and just stop on

35:27

your knee Yeah No, we were playing football

35:29

and he jumped on me and it just it snapped my

35:31

leg and then told me to ride my bike

35:33

In the neighborhood and I didn't I went behind

35:36

the farmer Jack flipped over shattered

35:38

my shoulder and ended up in the hospital That's

35:41

really fun. Like that's just so funny

35:43

What a difference in our lives where you're like, yeah No,

35:45

my mom was working really hard and trying

35:48

and I she was right almost every time And

35:52

all I did you just disappoint her oh

35:54

Look at you now.

35:57

Look at me now bad arthritis

35:59

you have a favorite action figure

36:02

or doll either of you? I

36:05

just, it doesn't have to be so gendered

36:07

like that. But if I know those, those

36:09

two words of the 80s makes sense.

36:12

Which is one of the hot takes I wanted to come in with

36:14

is like what even this is not a binary.

36:17

And I think it's one of the binaries from our childhoods, we

36:19

have to really explode

36:21

is that 100% right because they are just

36:23

all dolls. They're all dolls and

36:26

trucks

36:26

kind of dolls if you can buy an accessory

36:28

for it. I think it's a doll.

36:31

The truck thing confuses me a little

36:33

bit like because the more I talk to parents

36:35

of young children trucks is

36:38

like a and they're like I don't even know where my

36:40

son would have gotten this gendered idea

36:43

from. It's almost like it's genetic

36:45

like truck

36:46

is for boys.

36:47

Well, it's almost like it's genetic like it's

36:50

got to be ingrained from like primal times like

36:52

they are monsters. Trucks are

36:54

monsters. They're big. They're loud.

36:56

They're a little scary. They are dangerous. They

36:58

activate something in you.

37:00

This truck scene.

37:02

Trucks. I mean,

37:03

little kids like trucks, all of them, but the

37:05

more I talk to people, they're like, I don't even know where

37:07

my son

37:09

got trucks from.

37:10

But it's like, like, he's got a sister.

37:13

She's not in the trucks. Yeah, he's dying

37:15

for trucks. And they're like, I don't I

37:18

cannot explain it like there's there's and

37:20

I here I am like a child this 41 year

37:22

old. That interesting. I know.

37:26

I have kids in the west side of

37:28

LA. My neighbors have a little boy.

37:30

He's two or three and he's enamored

37:33

with the trucks like the cleaning trucks and the garbage

37:35

trucks that come down truck age. Yeah,

37:37

I baby sad a three year old. I got laid off in

37:39

the pandemic and got like a nannying job

37:42

and was watching this kid who like, oh,

37:45

his his his like

37:47

pathological need to be near

37:49

them, but also terror of them. Like

37:52

we would walk to the park and there was construction.

37:54

He would be like cement truck, cement

37:57

truck. There's a cement truck and would like want

37:59

to go up and touch it. And then like get scared and run back

38:01

to me and like want to go on the other side of the street But then the next

38:03

day he'd be like I'm gonna get in the truck. I feel like we can't

38:05

get in the truck

38:06

I'm gonna drive it

38:09

Baby was mad at me. I don't know 15

38:11

plus years ago. I had a friend

38:13

who had like an older friend I worked with

38:15

that VH1 who lived in my neighborhood And

38:18

so he was like my only friend with a kid because

38:20

I was like 25 and he was like 35 in hindsight I

38:24

thought he was so old then now 41 Fuck

38:27

that guy had his life together

38:30

But he would I ran into him on the

38:32

street once I'm pushing the stroller with his son

38:35

and I was like, oh Kev what's going

38:37

on blah blah. It's great. I haven't seen you since we he's like,

38:39

oh, sorry Do you want to walk with us and I'm like

38:41

why what do you guys have to he's like

38:43

Well see the garbage trucks gonna stop at all these Garbage

38:46

and Mike we'd have to walk alongside

38:48

it and time it with like he's like I'm out here

38:50

every Tuesday and Friday morning And I'm like

38:53

what he's like Yeah, I walked the path of the garbage

38:55

truck with my son every Tuesday Friday

38:57

morning He can't get a fun. He can't get enough of it He

39:00

would eventually have a second son the older son

39:02

would get over it and be over it But

39:04

he would still have to go like come on take a walk

39:06

with your little brothers So he can watch all the trucks

39:09

and it became like and I was like I would just catch

39:11

him if I was ever heading To the gym on a Tuesday or

39:13

Friday morning. I'd be like hey good. Yeah,

39:15

I know garbage day Truck

39:19

walk Look

39:21

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or starting an exercise routine or more

39:29

and regular Meditation or a better diet all

39:31

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39:34

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39:36

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All

40:54

right, so jump back favorite

40:57

toys. And yes, let's let's

40:59

we can talk a little bit about this gendering of like if

41:01

it has a gun, it's for boys. If it has a blow

41:04

dryer, it's for girls, though those two

41:06

things look exactly the same in super

41:08

small articulated toys. It's

41:10

like, yeah, just printed pink for the ladies

41:12

and blue for the boys. That's how we know whose toy

41:15

is whose.

41:16

But then there'll be a show like Paw Patrol,

41:18

or like, and these are a little more modern, but they

41:20

kind of that kind of crosses lines in a way.

41:22

Because there is a girl Paw Patrol. And

41:24

also it's propaganda, which I think is another genre

41:27

of children's entertainment

41:28

that's really interesting. I said, it

41:30

never goes away. It's just a facet of American

41:33

entertainment. I mean, GI Joe, right?

41:35

Yeah, Joe is like, they're like

41:37

paramilitary. They're like exa military. They're

41:40

not even

41:40

like us. Are they like a mercenary?

41:42

They're black water. They

41:44

are oddly sort of like black

41:46

water, but they are red, white, and blue

41:48

coated and like sort of like American

41:52

coated, but they are a secret fighting

41:54

force from that's kind of like outside

41:57

of boundaries. mostly

42:00

fighting Cobra, which is a mostly

42:03

all evil organ terror. It's a terrorist

42:05

organization made up of mostly

42:07

robots. That way you can blow them out of the sky

42:10

and not feel any, no, no kid has to watch

42:12

a human die like storm trooper

42:14

rules.

42:15

Although we eventually learned they're all clones and that's fucked

42:18

up that we're just murdering clones. And I, wait, I think.

42:22

Wait, I thought about, she had you all like

42:24

that. Killa is crazy

42:27

too because I grew up obsessed

42:30

with action movies and cops

42:32

are like the, so frequently the leads or at

42:34

least dudes getting like extra judicial

42:36

revenge for some reason.

42:38

And like, I was like fucking 10

42:41

years old with like a huge opinion

42:43

about internal affairs. Like

42:46

let Dirty Harry do what he's got.

42:48

Yeah,

42:48

get out of Harry Kellahan's way. The guy

42:51

knows what he's fucking doing here. He's getting

42:53

results, man. Like, you know.

42:56

Not like these other soft on crime

42:58

Obama cops I used to say. Yeah,

43:00

Obama cops. Really funny.

43:03

We're the Obama cops. We

43:05

drone strike dick pockets. Holy

43:09

shit, these guys rule. The Obama cops.

43:12

Yeah, more or less fighting

43:14

terrorism sort of not at the root at

43:17

all. Like not looking at the causes of terrorism,

43:19

but it's like what led to Cobra?

43:21

You know, what led to Cobra command? Yeah.

43:23

Like why aren't the GI Joe guys being like,

43:26

man, I feel like, you know, like a banana for

43:28

public democracy in like the

43:30

70s and 80s really let Cobra

43:32

sort of a mass money. Like it helped the cartels

43:34

build off of this American black

43:37

market from the war. GI Joe was named in

43:39

the Panama Papers. It's fucked up.

43:43

And then they received funding from a man named Flint.

43:46

Okay, favorite toys. Favorite

43:49

toys. Yeah. And

43:52

we can get into more of the

43:54

twisted mind control that our

43:56

toys were giving us back then. Sure,

43:58

sure. I really

44:00

I'm console come who a game

44:03

console is what's your favorite way? But for the

44:05

sake of sake of the action figures

44:07

episode, let's think in that world But yeah, Nintendo

44:10

was the toy that I put out there Nintendo

44:12

kind of made GI

44:15

Joe's not matter in a weird way like

44:17

you could be now I'm now I'm contra now

44:19

I'm like And again, it's the same

44:21

game You're controlling a little person

44:23

that gets to shoot and fight stuff and

44:26

kids just want something smaller than them I think

44:28

is what we're getting out of this

44:29

or because your whole life is like

44:31

in other people's hands So it's like this weird

44:34

like freedom to have someone else that someone

44:36

else's quote-unquote life Well when you

44:38

were talking earlier about why do you play with

44:40

them? I never really like the control thing I

44:42

guess it is control But I just wanted the adventure

44:44

to continue and I wanted them to

44:47

do things that I couldn't do you know Like

44:49

I used to use my GI Joe's as my little as

44:51

my wrestlers because they were really articulated

44:54

and I would make him do crazy shit You know just

44:56

like flips and blah blah blah But I like I

44:58

thought it was cool that I couldn't do that, but they could Well,

45:01

I was so into action movies that for me

45:03

GI Joe was a lot about like staging

45:05

action sequences Yeah, totally like and it was

45:07

just like playing more into like dude.

45:10

This guy actually has a sniper rifle He should

45:12

be doing sniper stuff like you know even though.

45:14

I'm like fucking 9 or 10. I'm

45:16

so into this shit I get the

45:18

night scope When dust

45:21

falls

45:21

when dust falls fucking dusty is screwed

45:24

unless you can get his fucking scope on

45:26

and I'm two and

45:28

a half years older than my my middle

45:31

brother so like I got to be

45:33

on the Too old for the toys

45:35

for a little longer than I got like I got

45:37

an extra year and a half with them because it Was like

45:40

he's still playing with them, and we're the only people

45:42

home in the house So it's not like I'm gonna be like

45:45

no dude. I'm doing this thing. That's for slightly

45:47

older kids So like I I

45:50

stayed with it for a little longer than I thought

45:52

yeah

45:53

Oh and nobody from school is gonna see

45:55

so there's

45:55

yeah doesn't matter and then

45:57

I got even a little older and I was in

45:59

Tae Kwon Do, one of the kids in my class was a

46:02

little younger, but he had all of the

46:04

GI Joes, and he pronounced it

46:06

vehicle. So he had all the vehicles.

46:10

So we would go to his house after Tae

46:12

Kwon Do and in our geeze play

46:15

with like, and I would stage the

46:17

most, and I didn't, like, and maybe

46:19

he was like a peacock star. I guess he didn't realize

46:21

how good he had it with all his toys. We were like,

46:24

me and my brothers were like, oh my God, you

46:26

got the fucking claw. God, like we were

46:28

so excited to have him. We never bought

46:30

bad guys because we only wanted good guys.

46:33

And like, it's like if we can get one figure

46:35

a year, we didn't want to get any, we didn't

46:37

need Destro, like no one

46:39

wanted to be the villain. So it was like

46:41

this weird thing. He had like the bad guys would be

46:43

like staging all this. And I was definitely

46:46

at like, you know, a freshman

46:48

in high school being like, all right,

46:51

well, this is like, this is like, this is it after

46:53

this. You know, I feel so into it. And

46:57

I definitely was like lying to myself that it's

46:59

mostly for my 12 year old brother. That's

47:02

how I felt when I went to a midnight release

47:04

for one of the middle Harry Potter books.

47:07

Yeah,

47:10

I know you're exactly my age, Adam.

47:12

So no, it doesn't matter which one. I

47:19

did. I went to a boarders at like midnight

47:21

and pretended like I was there for something else.

47:23

Oh yeah, you come here to pick up

47:26

some porno magazines. I'm supposed to meet

47:28

a sex worker here.

47:32

Oh,

47:37

the prisoner of Azkaban. Let me throw this real

47:39

big.

47:40

I worked at boarders. I worked one of

47:42

the midnight releases and I remember that

47:44

like 16, like a high school job. And

47:46

I remember pretending to be so over

47:48

it and being like, oh, I'm just not even going

47:50

to wear a costume. I just don't even carry these books

47:53

over babies and then taking one home

47:55

and just getting through it.

47:57

Yeah, I yeah, I

47:59

had. I never really was into

48:01

Harry. I've read all the Harry Potter's when

48:04

the movies started dropping in like my early 20s

48:07

like 23 or 24 hours like oh and then

48:09

it was like oh I see why everyone likes these these

48:11

are pretty good But mostly very

48:13

easy to read and like a written world But

48:16

I had already been reading a ton

48:18

of like D&D fantasy novels at this

48:20

point so for me it was like Finding

48:23

why it like was I later on would read Hunger

48:25

Games off my so I could read something when

48:27

my wife was reading and After having read

48:29

hundreds of sci-fi novels. You're like. Oh,

48:32

I get why this is so popular. This is like repackaging

48:35

like

48:35

North like famous

48:36

or popular concepts

48:39

for like a whole new crowd of young

48:41

people across genders and everything like

48:43

that So I feel like when I was reading Harry Potter

48:45

was that but I will I did feel too

48:48

old to be reading and then you Meet someone who's like

48:50

a few They only have to be like five or six

48:52

years younger than me and then they are the same

48:54

age as the characters And that meant

48:56

a lot to a lot of people like friend of the pod

48:58

Jess McKenna. She wants on explain to me She's

49:01

like the same great and like the books would come out

49:03

and the kids would be the same age as her every time I'm

49:05

like ooh That's like a kind of a fucking

49:08

dream come true for a book like the

49:10

main character I mean for a narcissist

49:12

to read like my Is

49:17

about me I am

49:20

NOT a muggle see mom Okay

49:25

So 45 minutes later favorite figures

49:27

or dolls and I also interrupted

49:29

this six times, so it's me don't worry

49:32

It's not you it's me. Oh Mine's

49:34

Legos Oh Legos

49:37

interesting yeah people I guess yeah,

49:40

I love you guys Do

49:42

you do love you know as that was gonna

49:44

be my follow-up question you still have some passion for Legos,

49:46

huh? I don't we'd like we don't have

49:49

any of those adults that's around but I'm very

49:51

excited for our niece and nephew to get to the

49:54

To the older Lego part yeah,

49:56

you don't have my childhood. You don't have like a

49:58

fucking twelve thousand death star

50:01

that you built or anything like that. No, I don't.

50:03

I know a lot of people who are like that, so I'm not,

50:06

I wouldn't, I don't hold any judgment for that because that

50:08

also feels sort of like a, and

50:10

I, you know, I'm in my forties now when I'm concerned

50:13

with like anti Alzheimer's activities,

50:15

you know, like I'm like, the cross road,

50:17

the crossroads, the crossword. Oh, no. I'm

50:20

sick down. Draw a clock. Oh

50:22

no. Which one? What's a

50:24

clock again? Oh, no. Oh, no.

50:27

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

50:30

Oh, no. Oh, no. Well,

50:32

yeah, Lego's just a classic one too, man, because

50:34

that is like,

50:35

I never, that

50:36

wasn't as fun for me. Now as

50:38

a grown up, like when my nephew or someone's

50:40

like, help me put this together, Uncle Nani, I'm like,

50:43

okay, this is kind of fun. But

50:45

when I was younger, it felt too much like

50:47

homework to me. Like I wanted just enough

50:49

for it to like read the instructions

50:52

and like save these ones over here.

50:54

So

50:55

to like care, you know what I mean? Like I wasn't

50:57

old enough to give a shit or like it just

50:59

wasn't in my purview to be like, this is important.

51:02

I was just like a little fucking rat fuck.

51:04

It was just like, I want guns. I

51:06

want nunchucks. I want characters cutting

51:08

fucking characters' heads off. I want to set it

51:10

on fire. Yeah, I want to light fire. I want to light the

51:12

school on fire. Yeah. I

51:16

want to jerk off at a sleepover with all my

51:18

friends. What

51:19

boy's really doing that? Did

51:21

boy, like did

51:22

little- I can't speak to boys as a whole because the

51:24

last time I brought this up, every single person

51:26

at the function disagreed with me. But

51:29

I was. Like, I

51:32

mean, well, I was at a party where somebody

51:34

jerked off. So I'm with you, John. Yeah. I

51:36

was at a sleep- like we would have a sleepover and my

51:39

friend had like spice in his living room and we

51:41

would all kind of like go off into like weird corners

51:44

and just kind of like, you know, masturbate

51:46

in our sleeping bags or whatever. It was in

51:49

hindsight disgusting and pretty

51:51

homoerotic. And at the time,

51:54

the

51:54

time, you know, was it just

51:56

acknowledge like, well, the Saturday night, we're all

51:58

going to have a little secret

51:59

camping journey.

51:59

Yeah, it kind of was.

52:02

We'd be like we play like video games or cards

52:04

or whatever until like it got to be a point Where it's like

52:07

all right. I think everyone's asleep upstairs. I'm like

52:09

put on a porno and just all go our separate

52:11

way When pornos and

52:13

stories and boys jerk off

52:15

in a room Bring

52:20

back the Jenna Jameson. Yeah,

52:23

where's the video these days? Give

52:25

me you know

52:26

The building that used to be their office building

52:29

it does because right when I moved to LA it was

52:32

Now

52:34

I'm like, oh something has passed from the Valley.

52:37

Yeah, I remember

52:39

shooting Adam divine

52:41

web series in the in Chatsworth

52:43

and being like this foyer

52:46

in this house looks super black

52:48

leather couch a Lot

52:51

of those houses have that that like wrap-around

52:53

like foyer thing where you're like, oh,

52:55

I guess those are in some houses like

52:58

Break a red see-through wall for no reason

53:03

So I'll go up two of my favorite I of

53:06

course I love GI Joe and Obviously

53:09

a lot of this stuff was IP based So

53:11

like I like the show and the toy

53:14

kind of equally in my mind But

53:16

there was another toy called centurions

53:18

and and that was made up of three dudes See

53:22

Aaron land that wasn't their name They were

53:24

like max Jake and ace or

53:26

something like that But they had holes

53:28

in their body in their suits on the show

53:31

suits, but in the figures It's on

53:33

their body and you can attach different.

53:35

They had like different kits more or less It's

53:37

like max and so they would always be

53:39

like

53:40

Centurions and they would like

53:42

form up and then like all this gear would come

53:44

on them Depending if they were the water guy

53:47

or the land guy or the air guy Their

53:49

gear would be specific to the mission and I

53:52

I was obsessed with that when I was cuz I also

53:54

like loved the water So I always wanted to be water

53:57

water guy max.

53:58

Oh, yeah, but when they do different types

54:00

of things. Ooh, that scratch is a deep

54:03

itch.

54:03

Oh, dude, that shit has worked on

54:05

me since I was a kid. Even that's

54:07

what got me to like sports is like the big strong

54:10

fat guys are the line, the fast guys are

54:12

this. All that stuff mattered to

54:14

me. And that's what got me into X-Men,

54:17

into D&D. All these

54:18

were- Oh, that was my D&D shit. Absolutely.

54:21

Yeah. Because it was like, if I know what type it

54:23

is, then I know how to play the game.

54:24

Yeah. And everyone has different specialties

54:27

and they're working together and it's like, well, I'm the

54:29

big strong guy, so I'll do this. Well, I'm the

54:31

sneaky person, I'll do this. That shit

54:33

all mattered to me. In hindsight, it's got

54:36

me into why I think I like improv.

54:39

It's why I like all these things that are team-based

54:42

adjacent things where it's like everyone brings their own strength,

54:45

X-Men, D&D. I rattled

54:47

off these already. But oh, that's what got me into special

54:50

forces. I was the only 12-year-old kid who

54:52

had read every account of

54:54

Navy SEALs in Vietnam. I

54:57

was literally in seventh grade and I had read every

54:59

Chief Doc Watson book, starting with Point

55:01

Man, and all about the formation of

55:03

the buds, the UDT,

55:06

underwater demolition team that would later become the Navy SEALs.

55:08

I was so versed in the history of Navy SEALs

55:11

and all their weaponry because it was the same

55:13

shit for me. And that's

55:15

why that shit G.I. Joe and all that is clearly

55:18

soft military power as well. So, historians.

55:20

And then there was another TV show

55:22

called Mask that was like, not

55:25

the Rocky Dennis story with Cher, but and not

55:27

the green. We're always talking about that

55:29

big guy. Oh

55:32

man, I love that movie. I

55:35

love Cher, your big Cher head. It's such a weird

55:37

movie to like look, people our age,

55:39

it was just on a lot and you'd be like, I

55:41

really like this movie. And then you like watch it down. It's

55:43

like, I don't think I should have been really, he like his friends

55:45

with like a biker gang and you're like, that's

55:48

cool. They're open-minded even though he's

55:50

weird looking, you know, like, and like, it

55:52

taught me like, it taught me like the

55:54

basic lessons in like such a distinct

55:57

way. I was like,

55:57

that is a kid's movie. That's what they're supposed

55:59

to.

55:59

function right

56:01

yeah yeah took it away from me not judging

56:03

books by their cover because you know right he wanted

56:06

to go see the world

56:11

but there was this cartoon called mask

56:14

and they was like

56:16

it would be like the dudes had

56:18

like repelling things on their arms but also

56:21

the

56:23

the

56:23

pick it was like in between Transformers and GI

56:25

Joe like the tractor trailer would open up

56:28

and reveal like a bass or it would convert

56:30

into like a weapon or something but the thing

56:32

that was fun about the toys all the

56:34

masked figures had like

56:37

you know tend to what I

56:39

remember being like 20 feet of like

56:41

string that came off probably in hindsight

56:43

six or so and they had like a little

56:46

like zipline thing so you could like attach

56:49

a little string and have them slide or swing

56:51

and that kind of opened up gameplay

56:54

for with the action figures because

56:56

normally you'd always have to be holding them but

56:58

all sudden getting to swing a dude across

57:00

would be like so radical you know it'd

57:03

be really open up to a third dimension

57:05

of play for us short little kids go

57:07

off a fucking bunk bed on a zipline

57:10

the action movie like set pieces that

57:12

you could do with that my mind is spinning yeah

57:15

that's like all that mattered to me it was like all right we're

57:17

raiding now remember this and I would be so

57:19

like I was such a little fucking military dork

57:22

I'd like they have 250 caliber machine guns

57:24

mounted here behind sandbags you have to be careful

57:26

it's like why do I know military strategy

57:28

at like 11 oh cuz I'm indoctrinated

57:31

by this shit all day every way I wanted

57:33

you said that what books were you reading the Ron Watson books

57:36

Doc Watson chief Doc Watson yeah

57:39

point man was the name one of the books if

57:41

I'm gonna look but then I also

57:43

read like all the Clancy

57:45

special forces stuff like Rainbow Six like I just

57:48

anything that was Navy SEAL adjacent I

57:50

read it including all like

57:52

the real man you know I'm like they're

57:55

blowing up who cheese full of VC

57:57

I'm like I don't even know what any of those words mean but

57:59

it

57:59

met so much to me. Because I

58:02

think

58:02

they make it seem like the military

58:04

is a thing that smart people with a lot

58:06

of choices opt into. Yes.

58:09

I feel like all of those books and shows were like,

58:12

this guy could have done anything, but he

58:14

was in the military. Whereas in reality, it's a lot

58:16

of poor people being like, I don't know. Fully

58:18

taken advantage of. Yeah. Systematically

58:21

left with zero choices but this. You

58:24

go to jail or you go to the Marines? Those

58:26

are great. We're being shown something. This

58:28

is a centurion. This is a centurion. I bought

58:31

it. Oh, look. This is humiliating. I

58:33

bought it as a grownup at a vintage toy

58:35

shop. I'll show you the price tag. No, that ripped. Wait,

58:38

hold on. But

58:40

it's complete. It says complete out of though. It says

58:43

complete, but you know what it is missing? The missile

58:45

that goes in this little missile launcher. But

58:47

like it. Yeah, those were cool. Look at this

58:49

guy's look. This is a guy that I like, a

58:51

toy I worship. Look at this guy's look. It's like

58:54

an 80s cartoon of a gay man. You

58:57

know, this is exactly what 80s

59:00

gay looked like. He's got a nice haircut, thick

59:02

mustache, a tight bod.

59:05

But yeah, this is the water guy,

59:07

if you will.

59:09

I as an adult got

59:11

a little girl. Oh, shit,

59:13

dude. Oh, shit.

59:15

I went on Etsy and I found the Polly

59:17

Pocket house that I always wanted because it

59:19

lights up inside. Now, this one

59:21

is broken, but somewhere in my brain I was

59:24

like, I'll fix it. I'll learn electrical

59:26

wiring and I'll fix it. So it lights

59:27

up. Let me get my soldering iron to... Oh,

59:29

wait, what is that? Is that a little bottle of

59:31

fentanyl pills? Yeah. Oh,

59:34

of course. Oh, she was

59:36

still playing, just updated some of the specifics.

59:39

She's got a little

59:41

Narcan. You just can't see it because it's so

59:43

tiny. She's

59:45

smart though. She's doing educated

59:47

drug use.

59:48

Yeah, there's a

59:49

few of our open doors. This is not very good, but

59:51

this is the best I can do of the things that I brought

59:53

with it. I can reach.

59:57

This is my Rashid Wallace bobblehead.

59:59

It's not really an action. Figure but I like it.

1:00:01

Hey, it's a figure and it has

1:00:03

an action, right?

1:00:05

What else do you need?

1:00:09

Well, he's rolling away But

1:00:11

he's coming back.

1:00:12

This is a very new someone

1:00:14

sent me this because I wanted to play him

1:00:16

in the movie so badly In the car

1:00:19

and the comics that kind of look like him not so

1:00:21

much in the figurine We

1:00:23

have similar face. And

1:00:25

so I really push for myself to play

1:00:27

people. I Really tweeted I want

1:00:30

to play Hercules and then they gave us a Brett Goldstein

1:00:32

like as if he was a huge name from

1:00:35

Ted Lasso and all that Okay,

1:00:38

okay at least Marvel crumbled so

1:00:40

I don't feel bad that I missed it. Yeah.

1:00:42

Yeah. Yeah Disney's not doing it You know what would

1:00:44

have happened is you would have been in a it would have been so

1:00:46

good But it would have still been riding this wave of everyone

1:00:48

being tired of Marvel Yeah,

1:00:50

I would have been part of the problem rather than

1:00:52

part of it.

1:00:53

Also. I love like a audio podcast

1:00:55

We're just holding up toys we have and going like Yeah,

1:01:01

I mean eventually it was undeniable So

1:01:05

so Polly Pocket was your favorite I

1:01:09

also and look this is me saying a lot

1:01:11

of stuff about

1:01:13

class and the way I was raised with wealth

1:01:15

I didn't American girls all

1:01:19

And those guys hundred dollars in 90s money,

1:01:21

so that was like a big Jesus, right?

1:01:23

I know I know Awesome

1:01:26

two bikes and it fucking ruled

1:01:29

great accessories lots of fun stuff

1:01:31

you could do with them But they were like backstory

1:01:33

right like there was different American girls

1:01:36

that you could get American girl dolls that you

1:01:38

can get Make it sound like I'm fucking in taken

1:01:40

you could get any American But

1:01:46

I each had like a different backstory like this way Q

1:01:53

anon shutting down our pockets Just

1:01:56

the press I needed they

1:01:57

had little books they were all from like different

1:01:59

Time periods in history and

1:02:02

you could like get the little book with them Remember

1:02:05

the one you got or the one you really wanted.

1:02:07

Please I

1:02:08

I got the one that I wanted. It was Addie

1:02:10

who had escaped

1:02:13

slavery and a

1:02:15

lot of their stories were like I made a

1:02:17

victory garden with my mother and like

1:02:20

we were Pioneers and my little sister

1:02:22

got sick, but then she got better and Addie was

1:02:24

like I couldn't like it midnight

1:02:26

We snuck away from the men and the dogs

1:02:29

and like swam through a river with nothing

1:02:31

on our backs And my dad was like whipped.

1:02:33

It was just like the darkest Holy

1:02:36

shit, most hardcore Story

1:02:40

and then the doll was like it's

1:02:41

like a cute little doll Right.

1:02:43

That's that's always the funniest thing is that they all I'd

1:02:45

like the same exact expression on their Thank

1:02:48

you. Yeah, but it's like what's your story? It's like

1:02:50

I I was in the undercarriage of a steamer

1:02:53

ship that was leaving from Poland in 1940

1:02:55

like Okay,

1:02:57

this is sad, but oh you

1:02:59

like doggies and You

1:03:04

are bumming everybody

1:03:07

A tray of cookies because

1:03:09

she likes to make cookies or something

1:03:12

like man you gotta respect Addie She fucking

1:03:14

bounced back hard from her trials and tribulations

1:03:16

really

1:03:17

and she was a rich full character

1:03:19

That was not the defining thing about her.

1:03:21

You know I learned a lot about the Great Migration Is

1:03:24

It was a good dog.

1:03:26

That was funny. I Was

1:03:29

I was that plugged in to my to like

1:03:31

the GI Joe figures and stuff, too

1:03:33

Everyone was just like this guy is cool, and I'd be like

1:03:36

oh that's shockwave. He's a radio operator.

1:03:38

He's an expert What is that you smoke because

1:03:40

they used to say like in the GI Joe trading

1:03:42

cards would be like Specialty primary

1:03:44

specialty and like secondary specialty and they

1:03:46

would always be like sometimes it would be kind

1:03:48

of funny or something That would it the other

1:03:51

thing I liked about and Tying

1:03:53

it all the GI Joe was totally the stuff. I liked

1:03:55

where it's like this guy's name is roadblock

1:03:57

He's a big strong guy who has a big gun

1:04:00

This guy's name is quick kick. He has

1:04:02

no weapons and no shoes. He does martial

1:04:04

arts Like I like loved that specialization

1:04:07

from everyone and then once you get the dolls

1:04:09

with all the fucking I mean the cards and like the

1:04:11

info and you know all that about them It's just like

1:04:14

less is it out then now you're getting the narrative right

1:04:16

now You're a little files like Manila

1:04:18

files. Yeah, that's exactly Be

1:04:21

like classified like stamped across

1:04:23

and stuff and or sometimes you'd be like snake

1:04:26

eyes unknown origin unknown unknown

1:04:28

And you're like oh I

1:04:34

never got the snake eyes for no other I don't think

1:04:36

we could find it with the the blue one the

1:04:38

one where we had the red goggles and like the hot pink weapons

1:04:41

Oh, that was the coolest one. I don't have that

1:04:43

one either. I wanted that one so bad We love the

1:04:46

I said before we had no bad guys But

1:04:48

in my house, we did have storm shadow because

1:04:51

ninjas ruled above everything else

1:04:53

In

1:04:54

martial arts classes and it was the 80s

1:04:56

and 90s much ninjas ruled all

1:04:58

very important Yeah, ninjas

1:05:01

would be something like you dressed up as a Halloween

1:05:03

for like nine years Like dude,

1:05:05

I just want to be a ninja again. You'd be like 17 be

1:05:07

like I look cool as a ninja just feels

1:05:10

cool Yeah

1:05:15

The second you're on in a sketch or something

1:05:17

like that and they're like here put on this like Bulletproof

1:05:19

vest or this harness or this holster all

1:05:21

son Like it just snaps into

1:05:24

like little kid mode. You're like I'm fucking

1:05:26

ready Dude, I did I did

1:05:28

a commercial for Hulu and I got to wear

1:05:30

one of the Mayans like biker carts Yeah,

1:05:37

that's right I wanted to keep it so fucking

1:05:39

bad But they were very much like you're

1:05:41

gonna get jumped in a fucking bar by a bunch of

1:05:43

like fucking Incored leathernecks

1:05:46

or whatever. Oh, that's so fucking

1:05:48

it Instantly what you were just talking about. It's

1:05:50

like a stupid little kid

1:05:52

Dude, my

1:05:53

my little nephew My brother

1:05:56

has to like limit his costume time.

1:05:58

So he gets like an owl

1:05:59

after dinner where he's allowed to like

1:06:02

run around in his in his Hulk costume he

1:06:04

just like that's all and it's and you

1:06:06

hear about this more and more at least

1:06:09

anecdotally and most of my friends are

1:06:11

in entertainment so their kids are

1:06:14

specific

1:06:15

you know and I

1:06:17

more and more kids and I'm like yeah

1:06:19

of course it's for outside

1:06:21

of Halloween like if I had a fucking

1:06:23

ninja costume when I was a kid I would have put that shit on

1:06:26

every day after school and like ran around my

1:06:28

yard

1:06:29

I remember when we got like camp my

1:06:31

grandpa was in the army and he got us like all these

1:06:33

surplus camo stuff and like small

1:06:35

sizes and we wore that like we'd

1:06:37

like change into the camo to play

1:06:39

in the yard and shit and like costumes

1:06:42

are you

1:06:43

want to talk

1:06:44

that's a real graduation from fucking playing

1:06:46

with the water toy until you get like fucking

1:06:49

like my nephew has like goggles that have like a shark

1:06:51

fin on the top and like little swimming

1:06:54

hands that have like little like that look like little

1:06:56

animal claws and like that shit fucking

1:06:59

rules man that's that's like becoming

1:07:01

an action figure oh I actually

1:07:03

escape from slavery like that's why I really

1:07:07

understand the oh

1:07:13

yeah like that's how I learned empathy

1:07:16

was from the American don't have

1:07:20

yeah my dad was a Ren fair

1:07:22

guy he like worked

1:07:23

okay

1:07:26

and

1:07:26

our costume closet was

1:07:28

absolutely outrageous it was like a corner

1:07:31

of my mom's closet and I would get in there with

1:07:33

my little friends

1:07:34

and we would just go ape

1:07:35

shit or just like tin foil robots

1:07:37

like yeah cotton bigger

1:07:40

than dolls

1:07:41

what is your dad do at the Ren fair do you remember

1:07:43

or did he ever like he had what was

1:07:45

his he's a good he's

1:07:48

actually a great juggler so

1:07:50

he would like sit up in a tree and juggle

1:07:52

and then like throw a ball down at a couple

1:07:55

and then make fun of the guy that's

1:07:57

great Yeah,

1:08:00

that's like that that was an original kind of part

1:08:03

of the rent fair that I really liked when I was a kid and

1:08:05

I started going to

1:08:07

Sterling Forest and Tuxedo, New

1:08:09

York way back in the day now I

1:08:11

go to the Renaissance pleasure fair

1:08:13

in Irvine, California Erwindale

1:08:19

a third guess I Fucking

1:08:24

love never been Do you

1:08:26

have it? I've never been to a rent fair you

1:08:29

you would

1:08:30

I think you would love it

1:08:31

I'm literally about to say you would love it and then

1:08:33

I'm like how much do I really know about Adam like

1:08:36

let me unpack this I think you would like it

1:08:38

the games now that I'm way when I was younger

1:08:41

I was really taken by just like seeing people

1:08:44

holding swords

1:08:45

Now I'm old enough that and I've done

1:08:47

actual like entertainment jobs and got to see

1:08:49

cool shit like that Now it's fun because

1:08:52

there's like the the target games

1:08:54

where you're like I could throw ninja stars axes

1:08:56

spears

1:08:57

daggers shoot arrows That's

1:09:00

all really fun the vibes of

1:09:02

like kind of the people that are there It's somewhere

1:09:05

between theater and horny

1:09:07

that like it's got the horniness of like a theater

1:09:09

club in a way that kind of

1:09:11

permeates it and since I was a kid

1:09:14

I've been a fan of big boobs. Oh

1:09:17

They're rampant Yeah

1:09:20

That's

1:09:21

right. You can already picture it. But like all

1:09:23

of the like ale tents or whatever are

1:09:26

just like

1:09:27

just like H-cups

1:09:31

gravity defying gravity almost

1:09:34

The way I would describe

1:09:36

it is have you ever gotten like a martini

1:09:39

glass that was like filled to the top or like a coop That

1:09:41

was filled with champagne to the top and it would like

1:09:44

move around a little bit but not spill out Yes,

1:09:46

women could somehow sometimes get their boobs

1:09:49

to be so

1:09:50

Horizontal. Yes in

1:09:52

a way that you cannot understand the structure

1:09:55

of it

1:09:55

They don't seem they're not fake, which

1:09:57

is sometimes how you can understand purely

1:09:59

horizontal breasts, but

1:10:01

they have some serious heft

1:10:03

to them, but due to a system

1:10:05

of corsets and pulleys or whatever they

1:10:08

get this sort of like I Can't

1:10:11

explain it It's like a literally like they're walking around

1:10:13

with a lake in front of them a lake made of

1:10:15

breast And it's just like it like it like

1:10:17

if Jello could sort of escape the

1:10:19

surly bonds of like a plate and

1:10:22

just hang out into space Yeah,

1:10:25

I jump out of the jump out

1:10:27

of the tree and just pencil in You

1:10:32

guys sold me like the axe throwing thing but I

1:10:38

was sold on axe throwing all this stuff is literal

1:10:41

icing on the game Yeah, if you want to relive

1:10:43

being like any part of your childhood

1:10:45

game stuff they got it. Yeah, it's

1:10:48

pretty rad And now I dress up and shit and

1:10:50

buy myself a new piece of gear every

1:10:52

year So now I have a little I have a little bit of a kit

1:10:54

that I can rock

1:10:55

Dude,

1:10:56

I could talk costume. Oh,

1:10:59

you gotta come back and talk costumes as we barely talk

1:11:01

to action figures That's

1:11:03

not anyone's fault, but my own don't you worry?

1:11:05

No one comes here to hear what the actual topic

1:11:08

is who gives a fuck what they do come

1:11:10

here for is to hear Your

1:11:12

plugs to wonder where they can listen

1:11:14

to you outside of the constraints of this

1:11:16

stupid podcast Where can they get

1:11:19

more Caitlin and Adam?

1:11:22

Well You can find both Caitlin and I on

1:11:25

our show versus and I also host

1:11:27

another show called my neighbors are dead Yes,

1:11:30

I've been a guest on you've been a bird start

1:11:32

to yeah Oh, so you check

1:11:35

that out, but also tell us a little bit about versus

1:11:37

cuz that's that's new to me At least

1:11:39

yeah versus of the show where Adam and I picked

1:11:42

two characters and we debate which one's better Simple

1:11:44

clean premise

1:11:47

the characters were picking are getting increasingly

1:11:49

stupid we started out with like Nightwing

1:11:51

versus spider-man and we've escalated to

1:11:55

Jason Bourne versus Goldie Hawn's character and

1:11:57

overboard. Oh shit mother

1:12:00

stupid one. Two famous

1:12:02

amnesiacs. Exactly.

1:12:04

They're both thrown off a boat. We're

1:12:06

doing Lightning McQueen

1:12:08

versus Christine. Hot car on car action.

1:12:11

And it's on Qcode and Wood Elf

1:12:16

Media

1:12:20

and it's fun. We play little improv

1:12:22

games.

1:12:23

So whatever you're doing to listen to

1:12:26

this podcast right now, take your phone out, open

1:12:28

up the app and just follow versus. Subscribe.

1:12:30

For

1:12:30

now. Listen,

1:12:32

for sure. But even if you're not going to do that, at least

1:12:34

subscribe for now and then you'll be like, oh,

1:12:36

what was this podcast? Then you'll catch up with it later

1:12:38

when you're like, just get on there. Give them the fucking

1:12:41

metrics. Hook it up. Listen and enjoy

1:12:43

it. They're too funny people, but you don't even have to listen.

1:12:45

Put it on silent and just let it play.

1:12:49

Put it on all of your friends' cars when you get

1:12:51

in there. Just add it to every

1:12:53

phone. I was at

1:12:55

the fucking Apple store subscribing all the

1:12:58

iPads to my podcast last time I was

1:13:00

there. That's a brilliant idea. My wife

1:13:02

had to go get something done at the Genius

1:13:04

Bar and she's like, oh, I'm like, oh, just walk around.

1:13:06

And I just subscribed to High and Mighty on like, I

1:13:08

think they like wipe them every day or something like that.

1:13:11

But for that one day you were a king. Yeah,

1:13:14

I climbed the ranks. I juj the algorithm

1:13:17

in such a way. As

1:13:20

for me, any

1:13:22

other plugs? I'm sorry. You can listen to lizard people.

1:13:24

We're still, it's around. Oh, lizard people

1:13:27

still out there again. Another podcast I was

1:13:29

on, so you can find, God knows how long ago

1:13:31

that was. You can find, I say that

1:13:34

for listeners who I assume are like, I'm such

1:13:36

a diehard Gabriel fan. I'll follow him anywhere.

1:13:39

If you need more gay boy in your ear, it's just

1:13:41

a little on the back. You

1:13:44

want a little gay boy in your ears?

1:13:47

I like the way how annoyed your football

1:13:49

coach was at the beginning job that you raised your

1:13:51

hand to answer a question. Yeah.

1:13:54

Gay boy. Well, you asked me what was it?

1:13:56

The fuck do you want to answer the question? in

1:14:00

this class, I might be the only kid

1:14:02

paying attention, maybe foster

1:14:04

that. You

1:14:08

can check out my other podcast. It

1:14:11

costs money, but there are free episodes

1:14:13

out there, so check out Action Boys Pod,

1:14:16

actionboys.biz, or free.actionboys.biz

1:14:19

gets you to the few free episodes we got popping.

1:14:22

So get your little ass over there and check it out.

1:14:25

Bye, shitheads!

1:14:27

And, Marty.

1:14:29

Hi, everybody. We're here

1:14:31

with a hit room podcast.

1:14:37

In a personal world where there are

1:14:42

no rules. Holy

1:14:45

shit. Holy shit, guys, I'm so fine. I definitely

1:14:48

have not watched this since I've rendered it on

1:14:50

VHS in 92. We

1:14:52

got all the fucking major players.

1:14:56

Sigal. Vladimir Putin is a

1:14:58

good man. Arnold. Tom. Give

1:15:01

it to me. I need you to cream pie me now. Stallone.

1:15:04

I'm full of the love of this movie. Yeah, you see, it's got a lot of heart. You're

1:15:06

mentally irregular. Now,

1:15:09

somewhere, somehow, someone's gonna pay. I

1:15:14

would fucking love for my wife to like

1:15:16

see me rip a guy's throat out. I'm

1:15:20

gonna have to do almost all the work yourself

1:15:22

to figure it out. There's

1:15:27

a fantasy component. There's some sword fighting.

1:15:29

There's some lightning. You

1:15:31

wake up after a

1:15:33

few

1:15:36

years and you don't

1:15:37

even know who you are

1:15:39

anymore. We're gonna be making Terminator.

1:15:42

We're gonna make a really great deal with this. I

1:15:45

don't hate him, but I'm gonna be in a room here. Yes,

1:15:47

I understand. This is now the 20th ending

1:15:49

of the movie. I am your dad. I am your dad.

1:15:52

That's your voice.

1:15:59

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