0:01

Hello people of Earth, or should

0:03

I say, hello Governor, because for

0:05

the first time ever, how did

0:07

this get made is going on

0:10

a European tour slash vacation to

0:12

the United Kingdom and Ireland. Yes, you've asked

0:15

for it. We are doing it from March

0:17

28th to April 3rd. We

0:20

will be traveling around London,

0:22

Glasgow, Belfast and Dublin.

0:24

Tickets are on sale

0:27

now. Visit hdtgm.com for

0:29

more information. Mr.

0:32

Jackass meets Miss

0:34

X-mas. We

0:38

saw Beauty and the Beast Christmas, so you know

0:40

what that means. Hello

1:27

people of Earth, and hello

1:30

people of Minneapolis. We

1:46

are in Minnesota for the first

1:49

time ever in the heart of

1:51

Minneapolis to talk about one of

1:53

the best Christmas movies ever made.

1:57

The year 2019. the

2:01

topic social media

2:03

influencers really

2:05

gets to the heart of

2:08

what Christmas is all about.

2:10

Like, follow, subscribe, all

2:12

of those things come into play. I will

2:14

say this, when you hear the

2:16

title Beauty and the

2:19

Beast Christmas, it's not to be confused

2:21

with the Disney one, with

2:24

Paul Rubens and Tim Curry as an

2:26

evil organ. No, no, this is

2:29

a different kind of Beauty and the Beast.

2:31

As a matter of fact, I would say

2:33

if you're familiar with the story of Beauty

2:36

and the Beast, it shares very little with

2:38

that. So

2:40

much so that I was waiting

2:42

for who's the, oh, who's

2:45

the beauty and who's the beast? I

2:48

think I know. I don't

2:51

want to break it down any more than

2:53

that, but all I will say is two

2:55

flailing social media stars find

2:57

a perfect union. It's weird. Again, I

3:00

like that. Well, that's enough. That's enough

3:02

information if you haven't seen it. We'll

3:04

break it all down, but first, let

3:06

me introduce my co-host, please welcome to

3:08

this stage, Mr. Jason Mandzukas. That's

3:24

right. That's right. How

3:27

we doing

3:29

Minneapolis? Last

3:32

day to the tour. What's up

3:34

balcony? Holy

3:38

shit. The balcony is

3:41

fucking wasted. Jason,

3:44

you and I have done a lot

3:47

of movies on this podcast, a lot of movies. Can

3:50

you tell me that? But sure. It's

3:52

been what, 13 years. There is a

3:54

moment though in doing. this

4:00

podcast where I think to myself, well it can't get

4:02

any weirder. And this

4:04

one really broke

4:08

you? Yeah. In

4:11

a way that was like, wow.

4:13

Wow. Here's the essential question I

4:15

have that I expect for all

4:17

of us at the end of

4:20

the podcast to understand the answer.

4:22

Who is beauty?

4:25

Who is the beast?

4:28

A question? Who is beauty? And

4:30

who is the beast? A question that

4:32

I started it off with. Yes, it will be

4:35

answered. And you know what? There's no one better

4:39

than to answer that question than

4:43

my other co-host. Please welcome June

4:45

Dan Gabriel. Welcome

5:02

June. How are you? I'm okay.

5:04

I'm okay. It's

5:07

so hard. You know, I love the holidays.

5:09

I love Christmas. I

5:13

love, I love it all until today when I

5:15

had to see this movie. And

5:18

I'm really concerned because we've done two Christmas movies

5:21

in the last four days. And

5:26

I'm, I was getting close to

5:28

getting in the spirit and now I hate

5:30

Christmas. Both. I will

5:32

say it's dumb. It's dumb. It's too much.

5:34

Make me want to become a Scrooge or

5:37

a Grinch. And Jason, you and I

5:39

backstage last night, we're talking about the holidays,

5:42

what we love about the holidays. We're talking

5:44

about our ornaments. We're talking about our

5:46

trees, our traditions, how much I

5:48

love the holidays. We're talking

5:50

about Paul's Christmas village. And

5:52

today I was like, I'll be dead by

5:54

then. I

5:56

don't want them. I don't want

5:59

them. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. So

6:02

yeah, this has got to stop. I can't do this

6:04

again. OK. Well,

6:07

I'm not going to lie. This was

6:09

chilling on every single level. And

6:12

how much of, I believe, an

6:14

accurate portrayal of influence or lifestyle

6:16

it is is its most

6:19

scathing indictment. Here's

6:22

what I will say. There's a question on the table.

6:25

Who is beauty? Who is beast? We'll get to that.

6:27

Yeah, I want to. Yeah, we better because I was.

6:29

I'll answer it right now. Noah

6:31

is the beauty. Francesca

6:35

is the beast. The

6:38

end. OK. All

6:40

right. Wow. OK, interesting. Now,

6:42

you say Francesca. Who's Francesca? I

6:45

do you want to remember? Ginger

6:47

Holiday? No. Noah.

6:50

Noah is his son. Noah.

6:52

Who is Noah? Noah is?

6:54

His son. What? Noah

6:56

is the little boy. His son. OK, got

6:59

it. Yes. Thank you. And

7:01

Francesca is the girl.

7:03

Sister? Yes. The little

7:06

sister just inexplicably appears. And

7:08

then disappears. And Bo is just

7:11

putting charge of? She's

7:13

my little sister now. I

7:17

will say that Larissa,

7:20

you might recognize her from. Larissa Lucifer?

7:24

Yeah. Larissa Lucifer? Yeah. Well,

7:26

you might recognize Larissa. Did you guys

7:28

not? She did look familiar, actually. Oh,

7:30

I jumped up when I saw her.

7:32

No. Oh, I have zero. Who is

7:35

it? I have zero. Open marriage, y'all.

7:37

Open marriage, remember? She did an open

7:40

marriage? No. The

7:43

movie that we did. That's

7:45

a movie we did? We did a movie

7:47

called Open Marriage, right? It

7:51

was about the couple that decided that they

7:53

were going to have an open marriage. And

7:55

then one gets obsessed with the other one,

7:57

and they get shot in the head. What?

8:02

I don't think so. Wait,

8:05

oh wait, wait, is this the one

8:07

with the underground sex pad? Yes. Is

8:09

this the one where it all takes

8:11

place in like a lot? In a

8:13

photographer's loft? Yes, okay great. Slightly because

8:15

you're also taking... What do you mean

8:18

slightly? Because there's also

8:20

the one with the

8:22

high school photography that's different.

8:24

Okay. That is the photographer

8:27

who is obsessed.

8:29

This is two couples,

8:32

the underground sex club, and one

8:35

gets more into it than the other. Wait,

8:37

and this is just to identify... Who,

8:39

Larissa Lusifrin? Larissa... Yes.

8:42

The other woman. Yes. Okay. Well now,

8:44

but I will say this. You, I'm

8:46

so sorry just to have gotten all

8:48

the way there and I want to

8:50

just go back to the beginning because

8:52

you said you jumped up. You

8:55

jumped up. That is, that

8:58

connotes a level of

9:00

excitement and surprise that is, I'll

9:02

be honest, shocking. I was

9:04

like, oh shit, the

9:07

girl from open marriage. You did the Leo

9:09

meme? I

9:13

know what it is. I was excited to see

9:18

her because I thought that she was great. I thought she

9:20

brought a lot to this, but again, I don't want to

9:22

go off on Larissa because she comes in in the third

9:25

act, but question I wanted to ask you was this, and

9:27

this is an honest, earnest question. Is

9:30

this a comedy or is it not? Because

9:34

I'm watching it and at points I'm

9:36

like, oh, it's

9:38

a comedy. And then immediately

9:40

after I'm like, I don't think it is. Like

9:44

I don't know if these choices... Like

9:47

yes, there are jokes, but then there was

9:49

like, is it meta? It's not

9:51

meta. I don't think it's meta. There

9:53

are, I believe, moments of meta commentary

9:56

that I don't know if people are

9:58

in on or not. Sure. But

10:00

simply by the nature of doing this, they

10:02

are at certain points just absolutely

10:04

making fun of what it is they

10:06

are doing. I think someone is, either

10:09

the edit is being cruel to them

10:11

or I'm not sure what, but there

10:13

is a level of insanity that's happening

10:15

in this movie that I would also

10:17

believe if you told me none of

10:19

these people knew they were being filmed.

10:23

Well, I mean... And they

10:25

were just people having like psychic breaks

10:27

that they were like, influence

10:30

the gun wild. Well, my

10:34

beginning of this movie really hurt my brain

10:36

because when you meet Ginger Holiday, it

10:39

looks like I don't know

10:41

what's happening, right? Because there's no blocking

10:44

or framing to let you know this

10:46

is like a YouTube video, but watch

10:48

this. This is like the opening scene.

10:50

Fuck me up. Clip one. And

11:08

I'm like, okay, she's talking to me. Well,

11:11

if not, this is... Okay,

11:14

we can stop it. This is... Yeah,

11:17

pause for a second. This is not her

11:19

YouTube channel, babe. Yeah, this is Heart to

11:21

Heart, the TV channel. This is a package.

11:24

This is where it gets confusing and why

11:26

your brain broke. This is a TV

11:28

package about her. But she's talking

11:30

directly to the camera. I thought, oh, we're watching

11:32

like an art town. I believe

11:35

both are true. Okay.

11:37

No, no, it's not an art town. I'm sorry. No, I don't

11:39

believe both are true. I

11:41

believe this is meant to simulate

11:43

what her content is, but there

11:45

is now a voiceover on

11:47

top of it, which is the Heart to

11:49

Heart post, which is a channel I subscribe

11:51

to under Amazon Prime. I love it. It

11:54

is top-notch entertainment news.

11:56

They cover only the

11:59

characters in the show. Hallmark and Lifetime

12:01

Christmas movies. And

12:03

a Martin network ethos.

12:05

Just the characters live. And that's part of the

12:08

agreement. When you sign up to do a Lifetime

12:10

movie, you have to act like Sasha Baron Cohen.

12:12

You have to be Ali G and you have

12:14

to go around and do movies. By the way

12:16

though, this is not a Lifetime movie. It's

12:19

an Ion movie. But I

12:21

want to clarify that because we

12:23

must put some respect on

12:26

the Lifetime holiday front. I agree. I agree. Okay,

12:31

because their holiday movies

12:33

are shot in Vancouver,

12:36

I think. And they are

12:38

shot in cold Christmasy towns. Or

12:41

at least they put some snow on

12:43

the ground. This movie is not interested

12:45

in Christmas vibes at all. Here's

12:47

what they've got. Access to

12:49

a legitimate mansion and $40

12:53

worth of dollar store Christmas

12:55

decorations. And it's

12:57

so hard because... That's what they've

12:59

got. That was the budget. When

13:04

are we going to talk about her rash? Oh, I

13:07

mean, her rash. You

13:10

know what? We can talk

13:13

about it now because that

13:15

will allow us at least

13:17

two hours to talk about

13:19

how the fact that she

13:21

has never been kissed. This

13:24

lead character has

13:27

never... been kissed? I

13:31

wrote in my notes. Is she a virgin? And

13:33

then, cuz, dude, she's never been kissed? Yeah,

13:35

she's never ever... It makes a

13:37

lot of sense because this character, I

13:40

can't find my way in or out of

13:42

her. I'm like, what is

13:44

happening? Any adult woman

13:47

who wears colored stockings

13:50

multiple days in a row... Here's

13:53

the thing, if you're dressed like a fucking

13:55

candy cane, hard pass. A

14:00

woman is so deeply

14:02

unwell. It... As

14:05

somebody who's obsessed with Christmas

14:07

365 and makes Christmas their

14:10

identity Yeah. And

14:12

puts it primarily over

14:15

fucking. I

14:18

would argue all relationships.

14:21

All relationships. Well except for

14:23

her relationship with Kensington. Yes.

14:27

What is Kensington? Is Kensington a butler? Honestly, just what

14:29

I wrote it in. I started

14:31

writing down every single thing Kensington

14:33

did to be like, what is...

14:36

What capacity is she here in? Can

14:39

everyone see her? Is she invisible? What

14:41

is going on? I thought that too at one

14:43

point I was like... Because

14:46

almost nobody talks to her. No. It's

14:49

just truly during the food fight scene. I

14:51

mean we're jumping all around. During

14:53

that scene inexplicably, Kensington

14:56

walks into it and

14:58

starts to get in on the action. I

15:01

think in these kind of wholesome

15:03

movies, food fight is the sex

15:06

scene. This is

15:08

my pitch. They get to touch on

15:10

each other. They get to do all

15:12

sorts of business with each other physically.

15:14

And it's charged because there is no

15:17

sex scene. We're never going to build

15:19

to that. I think the food fight

15:21

is the Hallmark movie, the wholesome movie's

15:23

version of transgresses. I guess this wasn't

15:25

a Hallmark movie though. Okay. To

15:28

be clear. This ION original. Is that

15:30

what this is? I don't want to

15:32

misrepresent it, but Minneapolis, did you guys make

15:34

this? Is

15:40

ION a local company? But

15:43

here's what I'll argue too. The

15:45

idea of a fun, sexy

15:48

food fight is disgusting.

15:51

I don't want to be covered

15:53

in mashed potatoes. A food fight

15:56

as foreplay? I

16:00

don't like it when people feed

16:02

each other stuff. Go wash your

16:04

hands. Gross. Get away

16:06

from me, you monster. I

16:09

also feel like her version of Christmas

16:11

that she's into is so fucking weird.

16:14

It's like she's into, and

16:16

there are certain, like, the Dickensian Christmas,

16:18

there's certain types of the carolers, all

16:20

that, that I can get down with.

16:24

But her Christmas interests

16:26

are so bizarre.

16:28

Well, June. And this?

16:31

Let's just be honest, though. She's creating

16:33

365 days of content for Christmas since

16:37

she's 13. At

16:39

this point, it's gonna go off

16:42

the rails. She has. You're right.

16:44

She's gotta be like, okay, cranberry

16:46

underwear. We're doing it. This movie,

16:49

this movie exists at a level

16:51

where she has such, the

16:53

weight of her audiences,

16:56

her influencer audience weighs so heavily on her

16:58

as to rob Christmas of all of it.

17:00

But can I say something? You've been gone

17:03

for a month, answer for yourself. But

17:05

can I say something? I wanna

17:07

say something about her content calendar because

17:09

I was confused

17:11

as to why she

17:14

didn't bank extra content. Oh, June.

17:16

Seems insane, especially in the lead

17:19

up to the gala. We

17:21

got a lot going on. Well,

17:23

the gala, can I ask a quick question?

17:26

And I don't often like to ask staticy kind

17:28

of questions, but have you guys ever been invited

17:30

to her gala? I mean, that's

17:32

the thing. I always think we're gonna get an invite

17:34

and we never get one. I mean, June, you got

17:36

one. You didn't get a plus one. No,

17:39

and it was- I got one one year, but it said you can

17:41

only come at midnight. See, that's,

17:43

it's so- And help me up. I

17:46

would like to spend roughly the

17:48

next hour and a half discussing

17:51

the logistics and the infrastructure

17:53

and the mission of her

17:55

charity. Yes, yes, yes. Bitch,

20:00

take that money and give it

20:02

to the families so they can

20:04

keep kids in their homes. But

20:08

June. So they don't have to

20:10

become foster kids. But June. The

20:13

outfit she wears to the

20:15

gala breaks the internet every

20:17

year. Her

20:20

outfit breaks the internet.

20:22

In this world, she

20:25

is as popular as

20:27

Kim Kardashian. Right, but

20:29

only in the need of Christmas. 20 million followers, that's

20:31

a lot. But now here's the thing that I will

20:34

say. This

20:36

movie is as confusing as

20:39

the advent calendar used to

20:41

delineate where we are at

20:43

in the movie. Agree.

20:46

I have seen the advent calendar be

20:48

used as a scene transition device, national

20:50

influence, Christmas vacation. It makes sense. We're

20:53

getting closer to it. This seems

20:55

like we're months out, day 17, over

20:58

here, up over here. It's

21:01

like they only had one advent calendar.

21:04

How does it work? We don't know. It's

21:06

going up, it's going down, it's going

21:09

sideways. I don't know where

21:11

we are in the world. Because

21:14

she's somebody who celebrates Christmas every day, which

21:16

is psychotic. It's

21:19

psychotic. And I have friends who have all

21:21

their Christmas stuff up already. I just talked

21:23

about it yesterday. We

21:25

named names yesterday. Some bold-faced

21:27

names were discussed. Paul and

21:29

I are Christmas traditionalists. We

21:31

don't put our tree up

21:33

until the day after Thanksgiving.

21:35

But we support, I used

21:39

to think I supported whatever people wanted

21:41

to do. And I

21:43

told you I keep my tree up

21:45

until late January or Valentine's Day. And

21:48

I was concerned. When I

21:50

need to burn stuff. But

21:52

I was like, you know what? Jason needs it

21:54

up that long. That's fine.

21:57

That's great. Coolup needs it up this early. That's fine.

22:01

And I do I feel like I've had a pretty

22:03

open heart. I do too. I have an issue with

22:05

her too. I said you have to... You

22:07

talked to her? Yes. Like you

22:10

schooled her? No, I

22:12

just said that she's cheating herself

22:14

out of the great transition between

22:16

Halloween into Thanksgiving. You

22:18

take down the scary, but you leave

22:20

up the pumpkins and then you get

22:22

into that fall. The pumpkins

22:25

are your bridge. Yes.

22:28

You take your binder, you take the

22:30

witch off the hay bale and you

22:32

got the hay bale and the pumpkins

22:34

are having a nice time. You get

22:36

that turkey out and then because

22:38

then it's something to look forward. Thanksgiving is

22:40

something to look forward to. And

22:42

then you got the next thing

22:44

to look forward to. You don't eat your dessert

22:47

first people. I know and

22:49

you guys feel differently and that's okay.

22:51

But I've tried to keep an open

22:53

mind. But what Ginger Holiday does is

22:58

absolutely unacceptable. And

23:00

she is... She's the kind

23:02

of person as an influencer you would believe

23:05

would be put into jail eventually. Well,

23:08

she should be because of the charity she's

23:10

running. Yes. Well, you don't say

23:12

the... It's a scam. She's

23:14

got like that Logan Paul drink.

23:17

She's pushing Prime. Arches

23:20

are obsessive Prime. She said Seth's dog

23:22

Seth and they have no entry point

23:24

to Logan Paul. They don't watch Logan

23:26

Paul. They've just heard about it. In

23:29

the ether. That's so

23:31

funny. Here's what I'll

23:33

say. And this is

23:35

another big question here. What

23:39

is wrong with her face? Oh,

23:41

she just has a rash of burn at her hairline. Her

23:45

hair dye. Totally fine. Easily

23:47

covered. And it's easily... Here's

23:49

the thing. Easily covered. It's so

23:51

easily covered with nothing but a

23:54

wire Phantom of the Opera mask.

23:57

That's all you need is a

23:59

filigree to... why your phantom of

24:01

the Opera mask to wear to

24:03

your wedding and you're totally normal.

24:06

She is promoting a holiday where

24:08

Santa hats are the norm. Pop

24:11

that on and you're good. When

24:13

she wears that little red riding

24:16

hood, I'm like, I'm looking

24:18

so hard to see it. Even

24:21

at the end when she's like, look at me, I'm

24:23

like, I'm trying. I'm

24:26

trying to see it. I

24:28

don't see it. Do

24:30

you think we're ever going to get to the

24:32

bad boy of Baltimore? We

24:35

will, Jason. I just want to say we

24:38

absolutely will. I

24:41

just want to say one thing about her rash because

24:45

it is the inciting incident of the

24:47

entire movie. Yeah, and

24:49

it's what we're dealing with the whole

24:51

time, which is like, she lost a

24:53

major deal because of this. Well,

24:55

I mean, I think she

24:57

went off camera. She was already on

25:00

the verge of losing

25:02

this deal because when the agent comes over in

25:04

the beginning, which by the way, I don't know

25:06

much about social media, but I guess the agent

25:08

doesn't come over and start taping on his iPhone.

25:11

And I got it beyond. He's like,

25:14

let's go right now. We got it.

25:16

What? We're taping it. We're watching a

25:18

movie that exists in a world in

25:20

which the cosmetics company Glitzen, not

25:24

Donner, not

25:26

Rudolph Glitzen, Glitzen

25:28

is the biggest corporation in

25:31

the entire world. They own

25:33

these influencers outright. They own

25:35

them completely and are completely

25:37

monkeying with their lives as

25:39

if they are the Illuminati

25:41

or something. But it also

25:43

seems like Glitzen is a

25:46

primarily Christmas themed makeup company because

25:48

Glitzen and Glitzen, I would imagine,

25:50

I don't think you would name

25:53

your. I don't think there are

25:55

just Christmas cosmetic companies. Well, that's

25:57

what I think. You

26:00

wouldn't name your you wouldn't go like oh,

26:02

yes, we're not now I call ourselves Santa.

26:05

Can you be like it's like Ulta? I

26:07

get Santa I don't work. I don't know.

26:09

I didn't take issue with that. I am really no

26:11

I didn't I was genuinely concerned

26:13

now. I don't know if anybody else in

26:15

the audience recognized one of the dance moms

26:18

Yes You did. Yeah, of

26:21

course Holly Mia's

26:23

mom was playing the doctor after seeing

26:25

her on dance moms like that's her

26:28

that's Holly Well,

26:30

she's not an actress And

26:34

I'm gonna say that he did a fine job with all

26:36

with love She's so not

26:38

an actress that I thought it was

26:40

going to be revealed that she had

26:42

some ulterior motive to keep them Separate

26:45

like that. She was an enemy of

26:47

the state. Oh and because when she

26:49

comes down Crazy,

26:51

he was like do not go

26:53

near her She's

26:56

a fucking taking time bomb

26:59

Okay, she's a doctor that comes

27:01

to the house that delivers information the

27:03

way she delivered information I leaned in I

27:06

guess that's a good thing, but I was

27:08

also is why is this weird? Talk

27:12

kind of quiet on a place like

27:14

kind of hear them and it's always

27:16

burning right here Oh, it's always green

27:18

and you can't hear your god-for-bidd position

27:22

Behind them in a movie you can't see

27:24

what they're saying And then they turn around

27:26

and look at you like it's your turn

27:28

to talk to go and you're like right

27:30

in there You're lying I

27:41

will say her advice to bow

27:43

to stay away from ginger

27:45

best advice in the movie Okay,

27:48

he should take that advice take his

27:50

son and leave First

27:54

of all, I just have to go back. There's

27:56

not time. I'm so stressed out. I

27:58

could do I could do with her voice

28:00

the whole rest of the show. Not enough time.

28:04

You said she had an allergic reaction to a

28:06

hair dye. It wasn't hair dye. It

28:08

was some sort of like crazy

28:10

Christmas concoction. She made it holly.

28:12

She like melted down holly and

28:14

peppermint and like. But it is to dye her hair

28:16

red. It is to dye her hair. But it's

28:18

not like. She had a terrible reaction on her

28:20

face. I once

28:22

had that. What

28:26

do you mean? From the wig you

28:28

wore? Yeah. I remember that. I once

28:30

wore a wig. I played this character,

28:32

Arshirio Paul, where I played Arsenio Hall.

28:34

But it was me. And I had

28:36

a wig. And the wig

28:39

created like a perfectly

28:41

farmed line of zits across

28:44

my head. That was

28:46

so aggressive that I didn't

28:48

want to leave the house. But yet I did. It

28:52

was due to my dermatologist. And he figured it

28:54

out. Yeah. He had to get in there. You

29:01

know what? Leave that part in. But

29:05

that was gone, Paul, within. Thank

29:08

you, Dr. Stoll. There is like

29:10

based on our general listenership numbers,

29:12

like 2.5 people who

29:14

just got turned on because that's their fetish.

29:18

With that, Paul. And they're all in the

29:20

balcony here tonight. That

29:25

parade of zits went

29:28

away within, I want to say, like a week

29:30

and a half. Her days. Two

29:33

weeks. Fine. Her days. Two days. Her

29:36

reaction. Week and a half. Her

29:39

reaction is there

29:41

for months. Six weeks. The

29:44

doctor tells her six weeks. That's a

29:47

long time. Of insert. But what's so

29:49

crazy about that. She's a multimillionaire influencer

29:51

who is having a random person just

29:53

come to her home and

29:55

be like six weeks. And then later he's

29:57

like, you know what? any

30:00

stress whatsoever. It's permanent. She

30:02

might die from a reaction

30:04

to fruit. Here, let's

30:08

watch the first dermatologist scene, scene

30:10

four. Well,

30:13

it's just like I thought. The rashes and swelling

30:16

on your face are an allergic reaction to

30:18

the acidity of the holly berries that you

30:20

used in your hair dye. I'm allergic to

30:22

holly? It is very rare and actually I've

30:24

never seen it in person. Derek,

30:26

can I have more cream of my face? Why

30:28

is it so hard

30:30

to have a cream of my face? Why

30:33

is it so hard to have a cream of my face? That whiteman has aggravated

30:35

her condition. It doesn't take that much longer for her

30:37

to heal. How long? It's eight

30:39

weeks? It's coming. Okey. Fourteen herself in.

30:42

There's a beautiful face here. It doesn't

30:44

have six to eight weeks. This

30:47

beautiful face needs time to heal.

30:49

Okay, that's great. But we have a

30:51

client waiting on her newest Christmas video,

30:53

which is now four videos behind. So...

30:57

What about a laser peel?

30:59

That would make the rash worse. What about

31:02

a warm comb? Ooh, heat would aggravate the

31:04

condition and make it permanent. I

31:06

would avoid chemical stringent and definitely

31:08

stay out of the pool. Wait,

31:11

did you just say permanent? I did.

31:15

So, I could look like

31:17

this forever. You

31:20

could. But good luck with that. That's

31:25

a doctor's. That's

31:27

a doctor's visit. A

31:29

doctor? I love how they had a locked shot,

31:32

basically, and they were like, everybody's got to fit

31:34

in frame. So just find

31:36

a way to get yourself lower, lower,

31:38

lower, lower. People

31:40

are leaning on that couch. They're

31:42

like, they're a Michelle Pfeiffer and

31:45

the Fabulous Baker Boys. Good reference

31:47

here. Okay, so... Wait,

31:50

did you say good reference here? Like it came

31:52

from the audience? Because you pointed out there like

31:54

that's where this came from. Nailed

31:57

it, dude. I

32:01

also will say this a doctor

32:03

to touch near the scar without any

32:05

gloves on worries me She

32:07

should have had a glove on okay.

32:09

There is so much indiscriminate face touching

32:11

in that scene that I was

32:14

like never Do not because

32:16

I also felt like she was not prepared

32:18

to be manhandled that much there was everybody

32:20

was like burp burp I

32:23

was like no I don't want any part

32:25

of that much face touching So now are

32:27

we to believe that a woman who has

32:29

been making Daily videos

32:31

for Christmas since 13 has

32:33

never touched Holly before Also,

32:37

I'm gonna ask a question that I know

32:39

I'm not supposed to ask how old is

32:41

she do we think how old is she?

32:43

That's a good question started at 13. Is

32:45

this 20 years in is she 30? I

32:47

mean, I'll find out her real age Well,

32:50

that doesn't matter. Okay, I Will

32:57

say this the bad boy skater is at least

33:00

33 34 that's what they established mess He

33:03

goes I'm 29 is like you've been 29 for

33:05

five years. Yeah, so let's just say he's in

33:07

his mid 30 mid 30 My guess is

33:09

she's late 20s early 30. I would agree. Okay,

33:11

so she's been doing this for 20 years

33:14

before the internet She's

33:22

been publicly Christmas

33:24

famous and Christmas identity. She was

33:26

like when you were on to

33:28

AOL comm come into my chat

33:32

Circuit and I will send you a

33:34

jpeg that will take four to seven

33:36

minutes to download beep beep beep beep

33:39

beep At that point Regarding

33:41

the internet. She's basically 13 on

33:44

like message boards. Yeah Christmas, right

33:46

and creeps are like, right the

33:50

first the first Mission Impossible

33:52

movie came out in 2000

33:55

and Ethan hunt is barely able

33:57

to navigate on computers. No wonder

33:59

she She's so sexually shut down.

34:01

She was exposed to the internet at

34:03

13. And

34:06

it's destroyed. Well, it is true because at one

34:08

point she's taught, she says, I linked

34:10

my follower count to my phone so I

34:12

can check on it. It's like, well... Oh, the

34:15

alarm you mean that goes off? It's on your

34:17

phone. You didn't

34:19

link it. It

34:21

is there. That speaker is

34:23

powerful. That is like a tugboat

34:26

boughorn that goes off for

34:28

her follower alarm. Oh

34:31

my God. What an indictment of influencer

34:33

culture. What an indictment of

34:35

doctor culture. This is a movie where

34:37

a Christmas tree falls on a man and

34:41

then a giant section of the movie is

34:43

cut out where we reveal

34:45

that he's now naked in a bed, his

34:47

arms in a sling. He had been in

34:50

the hospital. We missed all of that. Wait,

34:52

can I back up for another second? I

34:55

want to be very clear because

34:57

everything you just said is true,

34:59

Paul, but you skipped over the

35:01

fact that this guy had amnesia.

35:05

I was getting to it.

35:07

This character in the structure

35:10

of the movie, this character

35:12

gets amnesia at exactly the

35:14

time where the rest of the movie should have been. And

35:17

my guess is you're going to tell me it was. No.

35:21

Oh, it's not? It's a movie in which

35:23

his hatred for Christmas and everything else goes

35:25

away. He becomes a Christmas lover with her

35:27

only to then be revealed that he was

35:29

a Grinch later or whatever. But instead in

35:32

the very same scene, he's like, I don't

35:34

remember it. I don't remember Christmas. I don't

35:36

remember you. But you know what? I hate

35:38

Christmas. I hate you. Oh wait, I'm

35:41

me again. I'm the bad boy of

35:43

Baltimore. Hey-oh. Why? Why?

35:47

That happens in one scene.

35:49

He has amnesia for one

35:51

scene? One monologue. I would argue

35:53

a monologue. He changes it. Like,

35:56

now that's a monologue that you should do for some

35:58

sort of acting class or something. range

36:00

who am I what

36:02

am I oh I remember

36:05

okay I'm back fuck you

36:07

what a fucking rule

36:09

why right that why even right what

36:11

I see for the rest of my

36:13

life I'd be like I had amnesia

36:16

I I had amnesia and why did

36:18

you see thing happened to me two

36:21

days ago I had amnesia and

36:24

he has a shirt off always

36:27

always after the food fight he's got his

36:30

shirt off this guy I don't

36:32

understand he's just like he's 53 and

36:34

has his shirt off and I don't I don't

36:36

understand any of it the

36:41

one thing I liked about this movie

36:44

is it posits the world in which

36:46

a model in her late 60s early

36:49

70s you working all

36:51

the time yes oh

36:54

her first time refers to herself in

36:56

the third person I love these you

36:58

look and bless she

37:01

is she stays employed out there she

37:04

is here there and everywhere I'm like

37:06

wow in my mind fall in

37:08

my head cannon bees you fuck his dad

37:10

I love that by

37:14

the way like they walk

37:16

in on them just like knuckle be I

37:18

would love it I on

37:22

baby I don't

37:24

want to more like

37:26

light in I don't want to slight any

37:29

actors in this movie besides one I

37:32

don't want to fight any actors in this movie but

37:34

I will say this the reveal

37:36

of his dad felt like it

37:38

should have been someone we go Kenny

37:41

Rogers you know or

37:43

like Luke Perry like something oh

37:46

yeah oh sorry I cut that

37:48

out I wasn't right well we

37:50

can't say Luke Perry just because

37:53

he's passed away the

37:55

audience very upset at the head I'll

37:58

watch it I go we Kenny Rogers?

38:00

I'll be like, Kenny Rogers? We're

38:02

like, Joey Fatone? So

38:07

Luke Perry?

38:09

I'll take the

38:12

hit, Minneapolis. I'll take

38:14

the hit. But

38:17

he's one of our greats, and I'm

38:19

not afraid of your disapproval. But

38:22

I mean, and I feel like they tried, but

38:24

it was like, I wanted that

38:26

guy. I wanted Don Johnson. I

38:28

thought it was him for a

38:30

split second. I was

38:32

really like, who is it?

38:34

It was Don Johnson. They

38:38

were like, hey, we can't get

38:40

Don, but last night at

38:42

door, my

38:44

friend has a guy called Non Johnson. We

38:47

hired for Miami Vice parties. But

38:52

you got to take the tub as well. You got

38:54

to take Crockett and Tubbs. I don't know. I

38:59

don't trust a character. I don't

39:01

trust a human being or

39:04

a character whose only vice is

39:06

hot cocoa. What's

39:10

that, a vice? She keeps saying,

39:12

I'm going to need a lot more

39:14

cocoa. Like,

39:17

oh, this is just too much. Thank

39:19

God for my cocoa. And then when she

39:21

gets slipped booze, she's like, that's

39:25

not cocoa. I

39:28

was like, she is basically

39:30

Buddy the elf. She

39:34

is either a lunatic,

39:36

a true innocent, or there's a

39:38

body switch that happens where a

39:40

12 year old girl is put

39:42

in the body of this 30

39:44

something year old woman because all

39:46

of her choices are stone cold bananas.

39:48

But we are

39:51

talking about don't they make sense for like

39:53

a 12 year old never been kissed, obsessed

39:55

with Christmas. So let's just get into let's

40:00

Let's give some space, as one of our

40:02

audience members said last night, let's give some

40:04

space to her childhood trauma. Well,

40:06

that's what I was going to say. That really...

40:08

Yeah, because I think that's where it all

40:10

stems from. And... Oh, she's very stunted

40:12

at that point. Yeah, the movie seems

40:15

to suggest that her mother spent one

40:17

day with her a year. And

40:19

that was Christmas Day. And that it

40:21

was publicly known. The news host says,

40:24

you're with your mother today, but we

40:26

normally only see you on Christmas. So

40:29

even on the one day, the press

40:31

is there. Yeah. And it's so

40:34

crazy because I did

40:36

sympathize with Ginger Holiday, because from her mom's

40:38

point of view, her mom's like, yeah, we

40:40

dealt with it in therapy. Like,

40:43

how many times are we going to go over

40:46

this? It's like, well, lady, you didn't... If you

40:48

only spent one day with her a year, you

40:50

were never with her, as far as I'm concerned.

40:52

You weren't a parent. So I'm

40:54

sorry if she's wrestling with this.

40:56

But is that Bijou money to

40:58

buy that house? Or is that

41:01

Ginger Holiday money to buy that house? No, that's

41:03

20 million subscribers. I think that's Ginger Holiday. I

41:05

think that's Glitzen cash. Those are Glitzen bucks. Wow.

41:08

Those are those... Ooh, Glitzen bucks. We got

41:10

to spend these soon. But

41:12

here's what I'll say. The

41:15

mom feels more grounded

41:17

than Ginger. Because the mom's like, uh,

41:20

you... Like, she's like... The mom's like, I would

41:23

like to do... Like, the mom seems a little

41:25

bit more... The Paul. If you had a parent

41:27

who only spent one day with you

41:29

a year, and then decided to

41:31

come back into her life, and they were

41:33

like, well, you're not opening up to me.

41:35

It's like, well, yeah. You're

41:37

not my parent. Yes. Well, but were you

41:40

providing? Wait,

41:43

what? He

41:47

said, what were you provided for? Yes,

41:49

she was. She went to the best school.

41:53

The best camera equipment. The schools to

41:55

become an influencer. Best nannies.

41:58

Best Kensington. Yeah, but

42:00

this is what I mean to your point

42:03

June What's so weird

42:05

about this movie is on some level? It's like

42:07

what you said Jason. It's like a 12 year

42:09

old I like Coco. I don't like boys and

42:12

then on the other level It's like I

42:14

have dark trauma and then the and then the

42:16

other guy meets and goes Yeah, my kid went

42:19

deaf because I couldn't pay for a surgery. Oh

42:23

Well, he's This

42:27

is on the verge of losing everything

42:30

for his character Everything

42:33

is paramount because it's all he's it's

42:35

all slipping away from him Well, but

42:37

here's the thing about that surgery and

42:39

obviously there's major problems with our health

42:41

care system Don't get me wrong, but

42:44

I am like that's we've bought some

42:46

more What research did you

42:49

do because I do believe

42:51

that there were services that could

42:53

have gotten your child Did

42:55

you do any research into this? Yeah, I did have

42:57

an issue with it because it was like he

43:00

had the choice to let her hear him

43:03

Just like nope didn't make the payment

43:05

and it was like it was like I

43:07

was like a car getting repossessed and I

43:10

felt like I don't know that I think

43:12

would have stepped it I just I just

43:14

felt like they're and I'm not

43:16

saying they're great But there are some some

43:19

safety nets There for

43:21

Noah and I just didn't quite buy

43:23

that he would go couldn't you charge

43:25

it? And

43:28

pay it off like a school loan You

43:32

didn't go to high school though, you didn't have a college

43:35

loan, so he's got room for a loan How

43:38

about how about where's Noah's

43:40

mom? Where's

43:42

no mom? We're

43:44

dad. Wait, what's going on the

43:46

dance mom took that budget I

43:51

Wanted to know I wanted to know because

43:54

I couldn't make heads or tails of that. What

43:56

also was this hold on What was the number

43:58

that when she keeps saying? meditation

44:01

which is not a meditation where she says

44:03

one to get married two blah blah blah

44:05

and three to bring joy to the world

44:08

like that shit that she keeps like

44:10

playing over in her mind feels

44:13

to me like something a serial killer says

44:16

yeah before they collect another

44:18

trophy no

44:22

I mean I did feel that way that's

44:24

what's so creepy about this movie and when Kensington is

44:26

asked to be in the family picture at the end

44:28

I was very

44:30

uncomfortable with that and I was also just like

44:34

I think bad things have

44:36

happened to Kensington in this

44:38

home and yeah we did get out

44:40

of there women

44:42

have been harmed here and yeah

44:46

it's not it's not right

44:49

I mean I also want to just like you're

44:51

talking about bad things going on I know

44:53

it's a throwaway joke and

44:55

there are some jokes in this

44:57

movie this movie makes a straight up

45:00

Helen Keller joke like with

45:02

no with like no spin it

45:04

was like no no that's a Helen

45:07

Keller joke yeah

45:09

yeah you have a good relationship with your iPad like

45:11

Helen Keller has with her iPad right I

45:14

was like what I

45:17

haven't heard a Helen Keller joke

45:19

told sincerely by an adult the

45:22

way this movie takes on

45:25

disabilities any like visible

45:28

differences is just

45:30

absolutely horrifying the way she's treated

45:32

by the world and entreats herself

45:35

for her facial whatever that is

45:38

was so horrifying to me and

45:41

then the way the collectively as

45:43

a community they shame Derek's port

45:45

stain I'm like what's happening crazy

45:48

and when

45:50

we're presented with Noah who's a deaf

45:53

child and signing I was like oh

45:55

okay and then she is like she's

45:57

kind of like oh okay oh that's interesting

46:00

And then she just talks to him. Yeah,

46:02

she just talks to him and that's it. And

46:04

then and it's kind of like, oh my

46:06

God, that's great. And he's like, actually, this

46:08

is my son. And she's like, oh, OK.

46:10

And then what's the little girl's name? Francesca.

46:13

Then Francesca comes over, little blonde girl, healthy

46:15

blonde girl. And she's like, oh my God.

46:18

Did your flip out over the

46:20

little blonde girl like being

46:23

as into her face? It seemed to

46:25

cast a light on everything that was very dark.

46:27

Well, and then this is the other moment that

46:29

I was going to say that struck

46:31

me as dark. And maybe I'm

46:33

reading into it. But when the agent

46:36

tries to trap our

46:39

character from the open marriage movie and

46:41

our bad boy, Stater, and

46:44

they put him in the bathroom, the

46:47

bad girl, she says, why

46:49

are there no mirrors in here? And

46:51

then I looked and I was like, it is a bathroom.

46:54

And there are no mirrors. What's

46:57

going on? And

46:59

that was the creepiest moment. Because you

47:01

know that's a real room in a

47:03

real house that they were shooting in.

47:06

And that's an improvised line that was

47:08

to say, help, help,

47:10

something's wrong. OK,

47:13

so I thought that I thought

47:15

in that moment that Ginger

47:18

had taken down all the mirrors in

47:20

the house, like Phantom of the Opera style.

47:23

Right. But I didn't want to see herself.

47:25

I love it. I love that. Yes. I

47:27

get that. I get that. But

47:29

I don't know. I feel like there's something

47:31

weird. Because she's also in mirrors and other

47:34

parts in the house. She's

47:36

in mirrors. She's on camera. She's fucking

47:39

making, by the way, she's always covered.

47:41

She's making videos and a lot of

47:43

them. And all she's doing is covering

47:45

this part she made. That's

47:47

the other thing. She never stops. She

47:49

stops for two weeks. It's not

47:51

Beauty and the Beast. I

47:54

agree. I agree. It's

47:56

not Beauty and the Beast. It's

47:58

Beast and the Bad. boy of

48:00

Baltimore. My favorite scene is when

48:03

they're doing the video where they're

48:05

decorating the tree. And I love

48:07

these movies because they try and

48:10

establish the absolute maximum

48:12

of masculinity is she's decorating the

48:14

tree and he's just chilling with

48:16

a basketball. He's

48:22

not shooting because he's not a hoop. He's

48:25

just putting it up and it

48:27

falls down because he's

48:29

a skateboarder. Yeah, because he's like, he's a

48:31

bad boy and he hates Christmas. Why doesn't

48:33

he just skateboard in the fucking house? That

48:35

would be cool. Hey, I love skateboarding on

48:37

marble. I don't know. I got nothing to

48:39

do. What do I do? I wanted to

48:41

play with this. Okay.

48:44

I guess I was also like, God forbid if anybody

48:46

ever tosses me a ball in a movie. I

48:56

was also like, my

48:58

brother, you are a dad. You

49:00

don't get to hate Christmas. Like

49:02

you have a child,

49:05

a young child. Is he a deadbeat

49:07

dad? What's up? Is he a deadbeat dad? Well,

49:10

I don't know. I think

49:12

he might be. Because where's the mom? I

49:14

feel like it sounds like he was

49:16

and now he has done the right

49:18

thing and he's re-engaging in his son's

49:20

life. We don't know his ex. We

49:23

don't know his mother. Well, my question was, is

49:25

he married? Is he married?

49:29

And this set up is, again, this set up,

49:31

we haven't talked about the plot of the movie

49:34

at all. I'm only

49:36

now realizing we've not,

49:39

we've been here for four

49:41

hours, four hours and

49:43

we have not talked about the plot of the movie at

49:45

all. So the plot of the movie is both

49:48

of their influencer numbers

49:50

are going down and so

49:52

their agent who they share

49:55

creates a fake PR son's

49:57

relationship that they're going to be

49:59

in to boot. to their numbers. They hate

50:01

each other, they agree to do this, and

50:03

in the doing of it they both succeed,

50:06

fail, and fall in love. But it is

50:08

meant to be a fake relationship such that

50:10

I was like, oh, the reveal that he

50:12

had a child, I was like, oh great,

50:14

show me that he has a family. So

50:16

this is all just a complete fabrication

50:19

for him that he, I

50:21

love the reality of, he needs

50:24

the money. He is struggling because

50:26

he is 62 years old

50:28

and is still trying

50:30

to shred at the skate park. And

50:33

I don't even, we didn't even, I

50:35

don't know what's up, but this is,

50:37

I don't think so, my guy. His

50:40

cameraman was the most upsetting part. His

50:43

cameraman was clearly like a cameraman past

50:45

his prime. Like he looked like he

50:47

was just trying to be like, hey,

50:49

I still got it. No.

50:51

Like he, it was really upsetting. I

50:53

will say this though, the

50:56

kid. Noah.

50:58

Noah. The kid.

51:00

The kid. It's weird to

51:03

me, and I feel like it wasn't really dealt with, that

51:06

he offered up Noah to be

51:08

like a big brother. In

51:10

his video? Well no, doesn't he

51:12

offer him up to be like a big brother,

51:14

big sister thing? He offered Francesca. Oh, yeah.

51:17

So wait, so that's not his kid. I

51:19

thought Francesca's his kid. No. Noah is his

51:21

kid. What's this movie, Paul? Sorry.

51:24

You didn't notice that he was, he was

51:26

signing with Noah. Okay. Oh, you just thought

51:28

he knew sign language. I just, I

51:30

got it. I understand. And when he said

51:32

this is my son, you thought he meant

51:34

this is my daughter, Francesca. You

51:38

know what? I think I was watching side

51:40

eyed a little bit and I thought that,

51:42

I saw that whole scene. Well you have

51:44

every right to not know the intimacies of

51:47

this movie because this was a great show.

51:49

It's better that way. I, we can't believe

51:51

that I know all of these relationships. When

51:53

you said, Noah and Francesca in the beginning,

51:55

I genuinely was like, oh no June, watch

51:58

the wrong movie. You're

52:00

very likely checking their. Name

52:03

is that I know Winter it's

52:05

Go And ginger. Or

52:08

the oh. No

52:12

what and friendship with his have both

52:14

my limited. The audience watched it better

52:16

than I did. Let's go out here!

52:20

Has a huge mistake or injured a

52:22

request or andrew and or did you

52:24

not a said when. They. Brought.

52:27

Out the packets that had of cerebral

52:29

drawing, a child's drawing of a woman

52:31

at a wedding dresses as a. Month.

52:34

Dream Wedding Dress.

52:36

Yeah. I. Laughed

52:38

so hard at the thera. If

52:43

we don't really like it was like a six figure

52:45

woman with a tie and on. Top of it

52:47

was like someone kids didn't merely put

52:49

it in the movie I I will

52:51

also say. That. When

52:53

she stumbles across the idea to dress

52:55

as Rudolf. As a you been

52:57

doing this that long and you never

52:59

got to Rudolf like Rudolph is. Also

53:02

saw I saw this so while that

53:04

the movies with spears and now we're

53:06

heading toward like a third act that

53:08

and is ending in a wedding and

53:10

not the girl us we. We.

53:12

Never. We never got to see

53:14

the gala. We never see the

53:16

costume. We don't even see the

53:19

costs him getting made. That was

53:21

infuriating. Okay, this

53:23

movie certainly let me go

53:25

meet. It's.

53:28

So crazy to say that I

53:30

was like unsatisfied like it left

53:33

me what say oh. It's It's

53:35

so rare for the back of the be

53:37

watching something to be so close and it

53:39

be like the rigid my four. Oh,

53:43

I'm not on your side of.

53:46

Hi. I'm. Matt. Matt

53:49

was the question. So do you

53:51

think she was actually building foster

53:53

homes or some sort of Christmas

53:55

cold compound with this money and

53:57

raising these kids as her followers

53:59

wouldn't. be great if it was some

54:01

sort of follower farm or something like that.

54:03

I will say that I was disturbed in

54:06

the beginning of the movie when it said

54:08

it took place in Clearwater, Florida. What? Yeah.

54:12

Oh I didn't catch that. No I was just

54:14

joking. Oh oh. Cuz

54:17

I was gonna say the movie makes

54:19

so much sense now. Then in fact

54:21

everybody's acting normal. I'm

54:23

in the balcony! Oh

54:28

god, be careful! Alright,

54:31

what's your name and your question? I'm

54:34

Matt, so most

54:36

of Kensington's time in the film

54:38

seems like she's pointing out how crazy everyone else

54:40

is. Do you think she's supposed to

54:43

be sort of a stand-in for the rational

54:45

audience and all these watching these crazy people?

54:47

That's an interesting point of view. I just

54:49

want to know, is Kensington employed there?

54:51

Is she on the

54:53

payroll? Because she's in a number of videos

54:55

it seems. Can I say how happy I

54:57

am that this... And

55:04

she only wears one... Which

55:06

tells us, do you know

55:08

what that tells us? She

55:11

worked one day. Kensington

55:14

worked one day. That

55:17

was her outfit. She worked one

55:19

day. But listen, they changed her lipstick

55:21

a few times. Here's the

55:24

thing! And this is why

55:26

I love you Minneapolis because

55:28

you guys, and we're all

55:30

on the same page, we're

55:32

all only obsessed with Kensington

55:34

in this movie. 80%

55:39

of my notes are like, what does

55:41

Kensington think of this? Why is Kensington

55:43

allowing this to happen? Okay,

55:46

your name and your question. I'm

55:49

Audrey and I am wondering

55:51

why when Bo recognized

55:53

Bijou from hanging on his

55:56

father's wall, his father did

55:58

not recognize Bijou. Ben

58:01

Cannon. Great voice Ben Cannon.

58:03

Great nasties. 9 p.m. CBS.

58:05

Last week on Ben Cannon.

58:09

Thank you. Previously on

58:11

Ben Cannon. Ben

58:14

Cannon. You've got to write mystery

58:16

books. Thank you. I

58:19

can try. A Ben Cannon mystery. So

58:23

I looked up this movie to

58:25

try to watch it and on

58:27

Just Watch and IMDB it immediately

58:29

suggested a Snow White

58:31

Christmas. Which I

58:33

assumed was connected. But then

58:35

as soon as I saw the Asylum in

58:38

the opening credits I put

58:40

together that this movie seems to be

58:42

the, you know, snakes

58:44

on a train or transmorphers

58:47

to a Snow White Christmas which came

58:49

out the previous year. Oh,

58:52

interesting. Okay, because I noticed Asylum as

58:54

well. It's written by the people who

58:56

wrote Sharknado and things like that. But

58:58

it seemed like from their social media posts that

59:01

they were transitioning away

59:04

from Schlock and

59:06

going into like Earnish Schlock.

59:09

That was like we understand at

59:11

Schlock. Now we're doing like Earnish

59:13

Schlock. That's my favorite of the

59:16

Earnish movies. Now

59:19

it is interesting that you said that you found Snow

59:21

White Christmas because when I typed in Beauty and the

59:23

Beast Christmas I only found the Disney

59:25

Beauty and the Beast Christmas. It seems like it

59:28

would be harder to find Snow

59:30

White to Beauty and the Beast. It's like

59:32

that's like AI going I think you meant

59:34

this thing. But

59:36

yeah, so Asylum is behind this. Yeah,

59:40

and that movie also bad.

59:42

I watched Beauty and the Beast Christmas

59:44

four times to try to find some

59:47

meaning in it. Okay,

59:49

Ben? Ben

59:52

Cannon? Can I talk to you for a

59:54

second? Just you. Everybody else

59:56

shut up. Ben? Don't

59:59

do this. Your

1:00:01

time is valuable.

1:00:04

Your time is valuable. Bend

1:00:06

it doing anything else. Did

1:00:08

you find any meaning after

1:00:10

four times? Are we just

1:00:13

interviewing Ben Cannon? Is

1:00:15

this a one hour, are we doing a last look with

1:00:17

Ben Cannon? I

1:00:20

feel like he's leading to something but I didn't let him

1:00:22

get it out yet. So

1:00:24

then I watched A Snow White Christmas.

1:00:27

The only real... Ben, respect

1:00:29

yourself. The

1:00:33

only real connections to be found

1:00:35

were that early on in both

1:00:37

movies a character breaks a beloved

1:00:39

childhood Christmas ornament as a way

1:00:41

of establishing character. And

1:00:43

also both directors went on

1:00:46

to make 2B original films.

1:00:49

The director of A Snow White

1:00:51

Christmas... Ben! Ben,

1:00:53

we're getting a lot of info but I

1:00:56

don't think any of it is relevant. Ben,

1:00:58

too much. It's taking up too much space

1:01:00

in your hard drive. What's happening between you

1:01:02

and Ben? Do you not feel you can walk

1:01:04

away? I know. I feel

1:01:07

like he gave it four times. I

1:01:09

gotta go, I gotta go. I will

1:01:11

say Paul is like... It's kind of

1:01:14

like wilting. I feel like Ben

1:01:16

is sucking the energy or life force out of

1:01:18

Paul. Are you

1:01:20

an energy vampire, Ben Cannon? I

1:01:23

think I do think. I have

1:01:26

seen this by the way with Paul where

1:01:28

there's men who have a certain deepness

1:01:30

in their voice and Paul gets

1:01:33

like immediately fascinated by them. Oh.

1:01:35

And I just watched that happen.

1:01:38

Are you kidding? We're all

1:01:40

susceptible to a centurion alpha

1:01:42

like Ben Cannon. We

1:01:46

can't not! That's the T-shirt!

1:01:49

Then pulling into alpha Ben

1:01:51

Cannon! At

1:01:58

least somebody will do it. bootleg.

1:02:01

Okay, your

1:02:04

name and your question. Hey, I'm Danny. Two

1:02:07

things first, just shout out to Willem

1:02:09

because he did amazing. And

1:02:12

then two, to get to the Beauty and

1:02:15

the Beast of it all is Bo

1:02:17

a masculine version of Belle to be

1:02:19

Beauty from Beauty and the Beast.

1:02:22

Now that's what I was looking for from

1:02:25

Ben Cannon. But,

1:02:28

but now that's saying is siren

1:02:30

song Paul and you just couldn't

1:02:34

oh yes if Ben

1:02:36

Cannon started talking right now

1:02:38

Paul would levitate and like

1:02:40

like a Looney Tunes cartoon

1:02:42

smelling a Christmas ham and

1:02:45

go all the way across to

1:02:47

Ben Cannon's voice. Ben

1:02:50

Cannon we're gonna need to need you to do ad

1:02:52

reads for how to just get made. I want

1:02:56

to hear you say bonobos.

1:03:00

Okay, your name your question. Tyler

1:03:02

I don't have Ben Cannon's register but

1:03:05

yeah we know Tyler. Hey, Ginger

1:03:09

is definitely the Beast. She's

1:03:12

been quote horribly disfigured. She

1:03:16

seems to be stuck in her

1:03:19

castle in her castle. Her

1:03:22

friend slash servant slash whatever is stuck

1:03:24

in her one form of that one

1:03:26

shirt. Wait,

1:03:30

are you saying that Kensington

1:03:33

is in some pots? Sure,

1:03:35

yeah. Yes. I

1:03:39

like it. I like this. Alright, so you did away in

1:03:41

there. I was coming to come to you then I pulled

1:03:43

away. I'm gonna come back to you. Let's see if you

1:03:45

can. Alright, what do you got?

1:03:48

My name is Travis. Can

1:03:50

we discuss Ben's relative strength scene to

1:03:52

scene for a moment? I

1:03:55

like this question. Wait

1:03:58

a second, let me clear. Ben Cannon? Sorry.

1:04:01

Ben? I think we all know he's

1:04:04

ripped. Do you think

1:04:06

Ben Cannon's ripped? I apologize. Bo.

1:04:09

Ben Cannon's getting a lot of

1:04:12

traction this show. Anybody

1:04:15

know who Ben Cannon is? Like he's saying him

1:04:17

on the phone. Who's Ben Cannon? So

1:04:20

when Bo and the Halloween influencer

1:04:23

are trapped in the bathroom, they

1:04:25

have to trade so that

1:04:27

he is leaping off of her back to

1:04:29

reach the ceiling access to get out.

1:04:31

Okay. Yes. But then, in

1:04:34

the next scene that we see him,

1:04:36

he, Captain America style,

1:04:39

jumps from a balcony and

1:04:42

lands in a superhero style.

1:04:45

...a slow-mo action pose ready

1:04:47

to attack his agent.

1:04:50

Yes. And it doesn't seem to line

1:04:52

up. Oh no, he... Yet, a Christmas

1:04:55

tree falling at a slow pace... ...at

1:04:59

an elevation no greater than seven feet tall

1:05:01

knocks him out and puts him in his

1:05:03

plane. Literally amnesia.

1:05:05

Yeah. Literally amnesia. Well keep in mind,

1:05:07

okay, and I think this is tough

1:05:10

because, yes, he's knocked unconscious by the

1:05:12

tree. He gets amnesia. He jumps off

1:05:14

a balcony in superhero lands. The guy

1:05:17

is especially strong for someone who's like

1:05:19

73 years old and still skateboarding. My

1:05:23

favorite thing about this is the beginning skateboard sequence

1:05:25

too with the bad boy of

1:05:27

Baltimore. Bo. Is

1:05:30

that we never see

1:05:32

him skateboarding. We

1:05:34

never see him on that thing doing

1:05:36

anything. It's almost as if

1:05:39

the actor himself can't skateboard.

1:05:43

It's almost as if that could

1:05:45

be a problem. Okay.

1:05:50

Obviously there's a lot to say about a lot. But

1:05:55

you know what? There are some people out there

1:05:58

that just want to give this movie some love. people

1:06:00

that have a different opinion. It is

1:06:02

now time for second

1:06:05

opinions. Public to

1:06:07

the people say when

1:06:10

you look at

1:06:12

Amazon, critics might

1:06:14

try to dissuade, but

1:06:18

they are

1:06:20

completely wrong.

1:06:23

Second door,

1:06:25

opinion, movies

1:06:28

never seem

1:06:30

so good.

1:06:36

Opinion, it's such

1:06:39

a sweet merry Christmas.

1:06:41

It's such a good

1:06:43

opinion. It's time

1:06:45

for second opinions.

1:06:51

This movie,

1:06:54

it was the best. I

1:06:57

gave it a five-star

1:07:00

review on

1:07:02

amazon.com second. Opinions,

1:07:12

called from amazon.

1:07:20

Great job. Happy holidays.

1:07:23

Amazing second opinion songs. Let me talk

1:07:25

to you about second opinion reviews. There

1:07:28

are 141 total reviews, 59% are five-star reviews.

1:07:30

The average rating 4.1 out of five stars.

1:07:38

This movie came out in 2019. So this first review is...

1:07:42

This movie came out in 2019. Well,

1:07:44

I'm going to need you to look at that again because I'm

1:07:46

pretty sure this movie came out in like 2003. According

1:07:51

to IMDB, they were

1:07:53

in pre-production 9-5-19, September 5th, 19th. They

1:07:57

were in post-production November...

1:08:02

6 2019 and the movie was released December

1:08:04

15th 2019 so from pre to release well

1:08:10

those date those numbers make sense wow

1:08:14

so that is a quick turnaround a

1:08:17

very quick turnaround I think the quickest

1:08:19

turnaround in the history of film is

1:08:21

Star Trek first contact so

1:08:24

that's true but uh so that might

1:08:27

have beaten it okay hey

1:08:30

hickey hey hickey right

1:08:34

almost nearly perfect in

1:08:37

each and every way and I

1:08:39

do hope it remains so five

1:08:43

stars I

1:08:45

mean title this just right is

1:08:48

she afraid it's gonna be re-edited I don't

1:08:50

know I hope it remains

1:08:52

I hope they don't re-edit like

1:08:54

they're gonna release the Snyder's huh

1:09:00

honestly release the Snyder's

1:09:02

pop of Beauty and the Beast

1:09:05

Christmas make this

1:09:07

four hours long and make

1:09:09

it make I need more

1:09:11

Kensington Marvin the Martian the

1:09:13

middle two hours are just

1:09:15

him having amnesia then

1:09:19

we get to this one by Wolfie

1:09:21

watches Wolfie watches rights

1:09:24

I can't believe Joaquin Riverdale

1:09:27

and parish teen wolf are

1:09:29

in this movie him doing

1:09:32

dirty talk with Christmas puns

1:09:34

got me feeling some sort of way thanking

1:09:40

Santa for his shirtless scene

1:09:42

the fact they aren't milking

1:09:44

all these social media moments

1:09:46

is mind-boggling him shirtless

1:09:49

in the bed injured would be

1:09:51

great for a post or

1:09:53

her getting injured could have

1:09:56

been milked for so much

1:09:58

sympathy and because They could

1:10:00

have done a partnership with some sort

1:10:02

of organization about allergies and such. So

1:10:07

this person thinks this is a documentary?

1:10:11

Or a reality show? That no doubt

1:10:13

these actors should have been putting up

1:10:15

these posts. I'm sorry. There are a

1:10:18

lot of laugh out loud funny moments

1:10:20

like him nearly dying from the tree

1:10:22

or the food fight. Okay,

1:10:24

but where is my bad boy

1:10:27

skateboarder that will never wear dorky

1:10:29

matching Christmas theme outfits? Seriously, having

1:10:31

so many shirtless scenes, was

1:10:34

that in his contract? I don't care.

1:10:36

It's working for me. Okay. Wow.

1:10:39

Oh my God. I now have a couple of questions.

1:10:43

Is someone in this movie named Joaquin Riverdale?

1:10:45

Well, I believe that one of these people

1:10:47

is from Riverdale. Is one of these people

1:10:49

from Riverdale? Now,

1:10:52

is that why people reacted

1:10:54

to the Luke Perry mention?

1:10:56

Because he was also in Riverdale? No,

1:10:59

I think they were just reacting. Is the main

1:11:01

actor Bo from Riverdale? It's

1:11:04

the manager. The manager is from Riverdale. And

1:11:07

then who is from Teen Wolf? Bo.

1:11:10

Bo is from Teen Wolf. Minneapolis.

1:11:15

Watch better shows. It's

1:11:19

so funny that this woman

1:11:21

was like, so corny

1:11:24

for this movie because I was

1:11:27

so turned off by everything I was

1:11:29

seeing. Even the fact that his cast

1:11:32

was like a Christmas sling. I was

1:11:34

like, no. And

1:11:36

then the way they built to this

1:11:38

scene where they're about to kiss and he's

1:11:40

in a Christmas onesie. I was like, this

1:11:44

is sickening. If

1:11:46

he kisses him, if her first kiss is

1:11:48

with a grown man in a Christmas onesie.

1:11:52

And what has gotten them

1:11:54

all horny? The

1:11:57

metrics that they're talking about for their

1:11:59

engagement. The Age Mint on the

1:12:01

channels. Are. Was getting them

1:12:03

like worked up. Like. That

1:12:06

first scene they're talking about like

1:12:08

influence or metrics and that's with

1:12:10

getting them all like hard to

1:12:12

assemble. Wes: I just say no.

1:12:14

The review of that over. A.

1:12:20

Slow afflicted up from i

1:12:23

don't care if working for

1:12:25

me will Yarmouth drag queen

1:12:27

officiate and super. You're of

1:12:29

a second story balcony then

1:12:31

a fairly tame by everyone

1:12:33

follow you a full another

1:12:35

shirt, the scene and so

1:12:37

much more. This is my

1:12:39

favorite. Eye. On Christmas

1:12:42

movie. Home

1:12:45

our partners five stars answer is

1:12:47

seen. So I also are they

1:12:49

suggesting that what makes eye on

1:12:52

movies different from Hallmark or perhaps

1:12:54

like time is the most of

1:12:56

like certainly sneeze and like a

1:12:58

the objectification that's going on I

1:13:00

guess any maybe their job and

1:13:03

more sexy but it didn't seem

1:13:05

make say At the wedding someone

1:13:07

says can you believe every influencer

1:13:09

in the world. Is at

1:13:11

the same big cuts to the wedding

1:13:14

and I'm not sitting I counted there

1:13:16

are eighteen people. they're. Not

1:13:21

only that, I wish the average

1:13:24

every influencer in the world or

1:13:26

we could blow that location of.

1:13:30

I. I. Will I'll I'll

1:13:32

that see. Walk down

1:13:34

is lined. With toilet paper

1:13:37

says no other way to describe.

1:13:39

What's on the ground? I

1:13:41

was so deeply. Upset about

1:13:43

the i don't like the movie that

1:13:45

was built on. Here are cameras. Here's

1:13:47

a bunch of random stuff from the

1:13:49

press. Make a move. I

1:13:52

don't know june what he thinks. That

1:13:54

this put me in a bad. Mood.

1:13:58

I. Was irritable and. I

1:14:01

was angry about this one. I

1:14:05

think it's also because I've watched two bad Christmas movies

1:14:07

in a row. It's something

1:14:09

to be seen. It is absolutely

1:14:11

outrageous. But I don't think

1:14:13

I can recommend it. Okay. I

1:14:16

like a Christmas movie. There's no bad Christmas movie

1:14:18

to me. Wow. There's

1:14:20

even this. I can sit back. I

1:14:22

can't play head in. Yes. Easy. This

1:14:25

isn't a Christmas movie. By the way,

1:14:27

this movie does not end on Christmas. This

1:14:31

movie is only

1:14:33

about craven commercialism and capitalism.

1:14:35

The theme of the movie

1:14:37

is making as much money

1:14:39

as is humanly possible. When

1:14:41

they cut to one year later

1:14:43

and it's them, it's all about

1:14:46

them, again, carrying favor and wealth

1:14:48

amongst their followers. This movie isn't

1:14:50

about the Christmas spirit. At all.

1:14:53

You know how it could be? They're

1:14:55

like not online. Okay. Well,

1:14:57

I want to say two things. You

1:15:00

don't have to applaud for my rant. You

1:15:02

didn't applaud immediately, which means you

1:15:04

don't agree. Minneapolis

1:15:07

entire audience of influencers?

1:15:10

I do want to say two things to you.

1:15:13

First of all, the original title

1:15:15

of this film, social

1:15:17

engagement. Better

1:15:20

title, to be honest, makes more sense.

1:15:23

Also, before we

1:15:26

end the show, I don't know,

1:15:28

before the show started, we showed you

1:15:30

this animation of Drop Dead Fred, right? And

1:15:33

I don't know if you

1:15:35

know this. Well, I think you guys know it. Drop

1:15:38

Dead Fred was fought here in Minneapolis.

1:15:42

I will say I did not know that. The

1:15:45

entire house where it was shot,

1:15:47

you can see the house up here. That's the house.

1:15:49

That's the tree, right? It's

1:15:52

where Fred got run over

1:15:54

by the truck. You see his feet

1:15:56

here. Right? Remember that? There it

1:15:58

is. So because

1:16:01

drop dead Fred is our

1:16:04

guiding star I Made

1:16:07

a pilgrimage today boom That's

1:16:12

where you oh

1:16:14

my god I Went

1:16:18

to the drop dead Fred house.

1:16:20

That's where you know, I knew

1:16:23

you were there Vanity I

1:16:25

had to visit the

1:16:27

mega bitch, you know Why

1:16:29

visit at the mega bitch's house, you

1:16:31

know what? It's a total team sanity

1:16:33

move to go to the house June

1:16:37

and I team Fred we

1:16:39

spent the day with Fred

1:16:44

Imagination We didn't

1:16:46

have to go out and walk to a house.

1:16:49

I hope you went up to the door. It was

1:16:51

like hi They were not home team sanity Hey

1:16:54

work. Did you try I I looked

1:16:56

around I was a little nervous because It's

1:17:00

a very residential block and

1:17:02

I had an uber drop me off in the middle

1:17:04

of the block and I was trying to Take pictures

1:17:07

in front of this house and I saw the UPS

1:17:09

guy. Look at me weird I saw

1:17:11

some guy come out of this house. Look at me weird.

1:17:13

They were not home I was gonna peek in the back

1:17:15

to see if that little area was I Knew

1:17:19

you went somewhere. So so just to

1:17:21

set the scene we were in the

1:17:23

hotel room and I was

1:17:26

waiting for an important call from her son who

1:17:28

had lost a Devastating soccer game and he was

1:17:30

really really upset about it. And I said

1:17:32

we have to face time him Paul and the next thing I knew

1:17:39

It was the playoffs he was upset playoff

1:17:41

I Said we have to

1:17:43

I have to talk to him and then next thing

1:17:45

I knew the face. I'm coming in Paul's gone Where

1:17:50

were you? Where'd you go and

1:17:52

he came back and said that he was on a

1:17:54

walk. So now I know Did you

1:17:57

you so you now I know long was this

1:17:59

10 minutes? Oh, okay. Okay.

1:18:01

Not not too far. Did you

1:18:03

like leave anything? Did you you well I

1:18:05

kind of I got nervous to shout out

1:18:08

Team sanity, but I did say it a couple times

1:18:12

quietly oh It's

1:18:14

so much worse that you

1:18:16

were like Your

1:18:25

actress voice in sanity insanity Give

1:18:28

it up for Jason What

1:18:46

a show Thank you to the staff

1:18:48

of the Pantatious theater our amazing tour

1:18:50

manager Beth Thomas and all of you

1:18:52

in Minneapolis Who made it

1:18:54

such a great time if you've

1:18:56

been jonesing to attend one of our live shows and

1:18:59

you live in Europe or maybe You've just wanted an

1:19:01

excuse to take a trip Well, I got some good

1:19:03

news for you for the first time ever How did

1:19:05

this get made is going on a European tour? We're

1:19:07

going to the United Kingdom and Ireland from March 28th

1:19:10

to April 3rd We'll

1:19:13

be traveling across the pond to London

1:19:15

Glasgow Belfast and

1:19:17

Dublin tickets are on sale now at hdtgm.com

1:19:19

and once we select the movies for

1:19:21

each show you will find those listed there

1:19:23

as Well now if

1:19:25

you want to feel like you are a part

1:19:28

of the Beauty and the Beast Christmas show well

1:19:30

you can Because you can

1:19:32

get yourself a shirt that was

1:19:34

designed live with the audience that

1:19:36

night The shirt design says bank

1:19:38

cannon an iron original It

1:19:40

is true be one of my favorite new shirts

1:19:42

that we've made and you can

1:19:45

snag that shirt and more at tea

1:19:47

public.com/stores hdtgm Just

1:19:49

a reminder that I am in two

1:19:51

holiday films right now on Netflix You

1:19:53

can check me out in the family

1:19:56

switch a great family holiday movie made

1:19:58

my family and my extended family

1:20:00

incredibly happy. Also a disturbance

1:20:03

in the force, a documentary

1:20:06

about the Star Wars holiday special. We talked

1:20:08

about the Star Wars holiday special here on

1:20:10

the show many years ago. You can watch

1:20:13

it on YouTube but this is a documentary

1:20:15

that truly does answer the question how did

1:20:17

this get made and that is available to

1:20:19

purchase on VOD or you could just get

1:20:21

it as a blu-ray. A disturbance in the

1:20:23

force. I think you will really dig it.

1:20:26

It's really fun. If

1:20:28

you have any corrections or omissions for this episode and

1:20:30

you want to you know give me a

1:20:32

call tell me about it we'll go to our discord

1:20:34

at discord.gg slash hdgtgm or like

1:20:36

I said leave me a voicemail at 619 Paul

1:20:38

ask then make sure to

1:20:41

tune in to next week's Last Looks

1:20:43

episode and I might pick it.

1:20:45

If it's good enough I'll pick it or

1:20:48

I'll play it I'll do something. Anyway I

1:20:50

will share a bonus deleted scene from this

1:20:52

episode plus we will announce our next movie.

1:20:54

Remember you can find us everywhere online at

1:20:57

hdgtgm.com. Make sure to follow us on threads

1:20:59

and if you love the show tell your

1:21:01

friends to listen as well because word

1:21:03

of mouth helps and it's a lot more

1:21:05

fun watching these bad movies with a buddy

1:21:08

and last but not least I gotta say

1:21:10

thank you to all the listeners who support

1:21:12

the show every week and our entire behind-the-scenes

1:21:14

staff who keeps the show running. I'm talking

1:21:16

about our producers Scott Sonney and Molly Reynolds

1:21:19

our movie picking producer Avril Halley and our

1:21:21

engineers Casey Holford and Rich Garcia and of

1:21:23

course our associate producer Jesses Neras who makes

1:21:25

those amazing social media videos. Alright that's all

1:21:27

I got bye for now.